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Sunday happy memories (isolated still)
As I recall the mind games I played with myself last night, I remember how much passion I felt. I remember how much love I felt for others that are in my life. My wife, my dad, my mum. My brother, my sister, my nephews, sisters in law, brother in law. Isn’t it spectacular how much we have to give within us if we just LET. 
Eg; Right now in my mind. I am dancing with my wife. She is smiling at me our dog is jumping with us we are in the living room by the fire. We have joy in our eyes tears of love for each other. Knowing that we have done the journey together. Listening to “faith” by Calvin Harris off the motion album. Because perfect love casts out ALL fear. 

I seemed to have spent most of my life fighting against something that should be treasured. Family. Family is together not apart, family means that you care for each other no matter what. U just Let them be who they are. Accepting them with warts n all, do I do that. I am not so sure but what I do know is that I will never try to fight the love placed in my heart by someone greater than I. The person who created me, the greater power should you believe it (him) to be there. I look at photos that were created for us yesterday from all around the world. I wonder at the amazing beauty that’s all around us everywhere. 
You can’t smell the smells in here, flowers. You can’t hear the bees or the birds tweeting. The air is sterile, it’s a dead world made alive by the beauty of the nurses that care for me everyday. It’s extreme far worse than prison. Because it’s just a room, by remaining and getting stuck in you find out who you really are. The person you were made to be. 

Last night I also wrote this.
Just made myself laugh, as its 3 am and I have just told myself I am going through the worse bit now. Worst… When I think back to where the last 7 years have taken me (in a positive manor) the operation on Christmas Eve, having 8 teeth out just to get a transplant, and the many many chemos, hospital visits. Heartbreaking waits for results, going into remission. Finding a lump again. The nightmares, horrible memories that flood back and bring you literally to your knees. What’s a bit of tummy pain and toilet visits in the night really. I mean come on your near the end now. Dig in suck it up and get this done. Remember all the people that have been with me on this journey and are right now. My dear friend who has this journey to go in some small amount of time. You CAN do this. Come on you CAN. There are approx 30 ppl in the uk that have a bone marrow transplant every year for Hodgkins Lymphoma out of 66million people. As my wife was told “how unlucky am I” this is not unlucky this is just a journey to make us stronger NOT weaker. I believe that dad, truly believe it. I will look back at this note 1 day and I hope you do and gain strength from the character that we all have within us. You CAN and you will.

Have a great day 



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Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

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