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Have you ever wondered, ever caught yourself thinking how hard it must be to beat Cancer. I did even before I got it. Chemotheropy what on earth was that. It was far far worse than I imagined. Far worse. I am hopefully going to help you understand, maybe even educate you a little if you don’t know. You see on hearing the words (it’s upsetting just to say it)
“you have Cancer” is mind numbing. Me no they can’t be talking about me, that must be the wrong file. I am fit as a fiddle. It’s just a lump in my neck. You want to look around at the people in the room and hope you see someone with a joker hat on or something. Make no mistake Cancer like allot of serious illnesses is a hard place to be. It’s a horrific thing to even understand.
You see first you have to accept that you have Cancer, which takes days weeks even months. I played down what I faced to everyone saying ridiculous things like. “It’s just a cold” not only is that unkind to anyone facing Cancer, it’s dismissive to the mountain you have to climb. You lose friendships, you lose strength, you lose focus. Lose momentum and even the will to live. All these emotions have to be overcome whilst dealing with that thing they call Cancer. I am going to put some pictures of me up in this blog. It may even carry on for a couple of days trying to help you understand how hard beating Cancer really is.
You will proberbly be aware that chemo happens, scans happen and people raising money happens. Cancer is a huge part of someone’s life when they face it. It does not just come you beat it then it goes. It changes you and your family and the people that truly love you forever. It’s a wake up call, a bright light in the darkness, not a light that makes you see better one that is so bright you have to cover your eyes. You can’t look it’s that bright. You find yourself looking for anything, but not Cancer. U end up hating talking about it. Getting annoyed when people ask you if your ok. OK are you mad, course I am not ok. I have Cancer, how can I be alright. All you want is for someone to come and sit with you. To forget about Cancer for the time they are there. You want them so badly to realise what shit you are faced with without telling them anything.
I have a couple of dear friends that did that for and with me. People I will never ever forget, people that could see in my eyes the battle I faced. They realised it, because they felt love for me. They felt the hurt to, and dearly wanted me to be free of it.
Ridding yourself of Cancer takes belief, it takes commitment. It takes Faith, hope, courage and the strength to stand tall no matter what. Always keeping your self respect even if you don’t have much, there is nothing private in the Cancer world. I hoped people would just bring food so my wife did not have to cook, I hoped someone could come to take the pain away. The only cure for pain is laughter, friends that can take your mind off it for a while. People like grass man, the shop keeper, the gardener, people that can do this are so valuable in your recovery. They don’t even know they are doing that thing because it’s just natural.
To love a person, by distraction and taking away the memory you are fighting Cancer is a very real and amazing thing to do for any sufferer. To keep laughing is a great medicine. One I needed anyway and I hope that I speak for ALL sufferers everywhere, never dismiss a fight someone is having. Because here is the thing, you are fighting something. It may seem insignificant to some other people but to you it’s a very real battle. Big or small, who has the right to say a battle is small. They are battles end of. Unfair battles.
I believe whatever we face is to help us to (hear is the word) empathise with someone else. Without what you are facing you cannot and will not understand what, and how hard something can be. Think of the very worst that can happen whilst you have been here. Use that to encourage and empathise with others, use your fight to benefit the life of someone else. Can you. Of course you can, share it.
Outside the Lynda mcarntney centre the first place I went, after being allowed out of isolation, to try and tell people about our group that is helping so many. Cancer stories (friends) on FB
I want you to do something for me. I want you to ask me a question, ask me what ever you like about Cancer. Don’t be shy because I want to help the world to know what this thing people call Cancer is
Ask me anything.
Please share, it’s only a click and I have shared my heart with you
Mark
fonzandcancer blogging to encourage. 
Reblogged this on rimaalalamy.
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Pingback: What it takes to beat Cancer. – Transformation: Earth
Reblogged this on Invictus Maneo and commented:
whew…visit this blog if you have a minute. A cancer warrior at work; helpful words for those who want to understand how to help in the fight.
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My best friend’s husband & brother both have colorectal cancer. It looks like her husband will beat it, but her brother is terminal. Of course I knew cancer is devastating, but seeing how if affects her & her family hurts me no end.
She said the same thing you said about laughter, She & her husband both have an incredible sense of humor and they haven’t lost it. Some people are shocked by that, but really, as far as I know there’s no laughter cancer. It might be affected by outside events, but it doesn’t have to die.
Thank you for this blog. I think it’s a great service both to people who are dealing with cancer and those who aren’t. God bless you and prayers ascending.
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Thank you Berlinda, it’s great to get such feed back. I am only speaking from experience as this journey continues I am finding all sorts of people. How people engage with a suffer seems to be a huge problem. But like you say there is no laughter cancer. I will use that in a future blog if you don’t mind. X
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I’d be honored.
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And by that I meant flattered more than anything else…no need to actually “honor” me ha ha
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Reblogged this on artandelephants and commented:
What it takes to beat cancer,thanks . i think I’ll throw up. yuck 3 times cancer.
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Reblogged this on pandyb.
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Yes Mark I still remember the day when the specialist said to me “You have Aggressive prostate cancer”. Then I went in to see the support worker who said, whilst I was still numb from the first comment “It is probably in your bones as well”. Foolish man what did he know and how unhelpful was that. I didn`t have it in my bones as the scan showed and I had a course of radio therapy, nowhere near as invasive as chemo, seems to have contained it. I do remember the isolation of that time. Only my wife could really enter into the experience with me. Now I still have to take loads of tablets and have to have an injection regularly but I am alive by God`s grace. I am thankful for all the prayer that went up for me and the fact that now 24 months later I can live a nearly normal life. Yes it is worth fighting cancer horrible though it is. I am thankful to so many people especially the staff at Preston hospital who were so kind to me.
Thank you for this blog Mark. It brought so much back to me but also made me very thankful.
Lots of love, Dad
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Thanks Dad, I am stunned at the amount of people that prayed. Hundreds even thousands. It’s such a blessing to have gone through this experience to. If only so we understand at a deeper level just what living in suffering is.
I questioned each and every tablet I was on when I came out. I was rattling like a load of ball bearings in a can. You must ask the specialist next time you see him dad. X
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