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Ok, I am sorry. Truly sorry. Many years ago when all this stuff came along and potentially ruined my life, stopping me in my tracks, slowing me down and making me think about things more. Maybe my dad was right, maybe I was on self destruct for a time. You see all I ever wanted to do was race, everything was a race, even now I am not happy to be behind another car. I have a feeling in me that wants to be in front of anyone that’s ahead of me.
My dad said he did not help me to persue racing, as I seemed to want to end my life, and had no respect for the consequences of any of my actions. Since being aware that there are other things that we can’t see that can kill you, I slowly gained a respect for my surroundings. A respect for people, for what they stood for, accepting what Others believed, accepting people for who they are not what you hope they would be.
I used to be a 100mph go getta type of person. Not someone that wanted someone else to be the bread winner. I expected that of myself.
I entered into many business ideas, losing many times. I ran to fast, drove to fast and generally missed everything I was looking for due to my inability to be able to stop and listen. To enjoy what was around me, to rest in the music of the planet. To look for truth in music, it took some unlikely people to turn that around. People that love music, no I mean really love music. Seem to have more depth, more understanding. Of course I had heard music before, but I had never listened to music.
Listening to music you find a new you, a more real balanced you. A you that everyone deserves to see. We have one mouth and 2 ears there has to be a reason for that? No? It hurts that I can’t get those years back. But what I can do is remember the words that my dad found in the B I B L E.
So how has that happened, I have had to fight. So how have I been repayed. I guess I have had the mud cleaned from my eyes so I can see again. So that I can see what’s important, hear what’s real. Hear words in music that I otherwise could not, because I was always skipping onto the next song. Or rushing to get somewhere, everything passing me at 100 mph. My wife always says I would look at the view but it’s just a blur when I am with you. Regaining love of a family again, remembering how that feels.
Times like these.
Please everybody forgive me for my hast, forgive me for rushing. Today is not about being miserable it’s Monday, it’s about accepting it’s Monday and doing yourself a favour and enjoying it as opposed to moaning about it. Love your life, don’t hate it. Change what you can, whilst accepting what you can’t.
I used to be able to run, now I can’t but I do get to see what’s in and on the planet now.