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Morning all, hope you are well. Time for part to to more about Mark than from Mark. The last paragraph from yesterday.
When the trudge was halted by a small shed 15 ft x 12ft a place I was to have a transplant. On looking inside the small shed we saw many jagged rocks, there was nowhere comfortable to sit, there were no comfy seats, no positive words on the walls. As we looked closer though there were allot of people looking through the window. More people than I could count, we were amazed at who was there looking through. They held up signs one said ” in order to see a rainbow, you need to see a little rain” there was no way out of this shed. It was a one way ticket until further notice. A period again of unknown which required faith, love and encouragement. .
There was a box in their given to me by my sister that had a fun book in it to help us laugh in the shed. A lady in a nurse outfit held out her hand, her name was The same as my wife’s. As soon as I held her hand I felt out of control, I sobbed as I was faced with another choice. To take the 1 way ticket till further notice, or take the zip line back to the road that lead to black hole. Although it was a choice, there was only ever 1 way that I was going to go. I would go towards the shed door, to be locked in for a period of time. It was a time that I would need cancer stories more than I ever thought I would.
I was asked if I wanted to know what was ahead, I declined although I did look around seeing things like, 144 hrs of chemo. Hickman line to be fitted, holes in the floor. Nothing about this place looked familiar or nice. There was no beer, no pumba doing the hoola. It was a barren place, a frightening place. A place of acute pain and lifelessness. Even so I could only see supporting people spurring me on, people that said we love you and want you in our lives for a long time.
Sometimes a road that’s mapped out for us is not what we would hope, or choose for the people we love. But then you don’t gain anything without training. There was no escape on entry, there was a door which I was allowed to open, but it was preferred for it to remain shut. I was to find ways to exercise, walking with a stick and a drip stand was not easy. But I did it every day, I showered every morning, ate normal food despite the pain from the ulcers. Even having 2 meals to maintain muscle mass. The doctors said I would loose muscle, I was determined not to. I did press ups every day, even attached to the drip.
The drive home from that room seems along time ago now, and the words you are in remission I hear in my head 60 times an hour. It’s like non of the road, cliff and shed were real. Like they were not as hard as what they really were. That’s what your brain does, it helps you forget the bad stuff, and remember the good stuff. Many times in my room I had to ring the number to God. Jer 33vs3
Now we have a new perspective, a road where flowers grow, streams flow and animals are full and happy. A place where it feels safe, where there is not much fear. A place where winners reside, strong people live. The road is called “we missed you road” a place where people want to hug you, show love and people smile at you with no agenda. A place where a new stream flows from its source. We don’t know where the stream will take us. All we know is that we have each other, and our aim is to hold out our hands to as many people that we see that need us.
You want to scream from the roof tops that you are in remission. You want the world to know how good it feels. But although all this is true you are left with a very real and fervent respect for cancer, eating more fruit and trying to give yourself the best chance at life possible. I thank God and all those that have supported me for my life, and the new journey that we have before us. CANCER FREE!!!!!
Have a great day
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Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.