I am remembering a story I was told as a child, a parable about a blind man. Jesus put mud on his eyes . After removal of the mud, the man could see. This is a bit like me now, knowing what it’s like to have cancer makes you see the world differently. It’s like you have been blind but you can see again. I saw life very differently before I had cancer, maybe even thought I was indistructable. I did not ever think that the man that I was would become so ill. I never thought I would have to fight for my life.
One thing I always believed though, was that I would win. Don’t get me wrong I had days even weeks where I felt I would not make it, but I always believed with Faith no matter how hard it was. I know my friend Deanna watches my journey as I do hers, we have both been on a similar journey both beating cancer twice with similar attitudes to life. You can’t feel what we feel unless you have had to fight like we have. Beating it twice makes the world seem like a different place, I am still here with a life.
What am I trying to say, well I want you to know that life after cancer, is like have the mud removed from your eyes. It means you can see again, we imagine our future very differently to life before cancer that’s for sure. Compassion is more real, love is more meaningful. Family becomes more important, things become irrelevant. Whilst at the same time appreciating what you have. One thing I do know is, that my life needs to benefit others daily. My life needs to help others, after all I would have been dead without the fight that’s now behind me.
Parts of me are glad I have been touched by cancer, to enable me to see life in this new positive way. I have always been positive, but it’s a different kind of positive now. It’s a place where I see the good in nearly all situations, a place where I am grateful to have what we have. I am pleased to see the sunshine or the rain, what ever happens it’s a new day and the past is behind us. We can only change who we are today, it’s the only day we have. That’s how I see life now, that today is a gift. That today is more special with you in it, your reading this because you have a life. Because you are living your gift, don’t you think that’s amazing.
Well be amazed because you are amazing. But you have to believe that. You have to look in the mirror and tell yourself that. God knows I have made mistakes, I still do. Am grateful to be alive, and I hope you are able to see a snippet of what today really means.