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I read an article today on a site called Had cancer, talking about different ways that we feel sometimes years after having had chemotheropy. Some doctors say it does not exsist, (apparently) I have never had this exsperience with doctors myself but then I am quite a large person both physically and in personality. After reading the article I realised that maybe I could write about the very thing that frustrates me so much. So let me explain how it is for me as a cancer patient that like the person who wrote the article. I had cancer!
So for me when I was having chemo, even my first chemo (mine was very strong) it had to be I was at 4 a and in a bad way. Close to losing my life and riddled with cancer. Remember in previous blogs I have talked about chemo feeling like snakes in your head, it did. Sometimes your head even hurts as you remember stuff, but then your brain is a muscle. It has lots of connections in the brain that need to work in a certain way. Now I am not a doctor, but it makes sense to me that maybe the brain has been affected in a small way by the drugs pumped into my body. I do forget things where I didn’t before. So I have to write things down to remember them. Where as before I really never did I just remembered.
Trust me no cancer patient uses it as an excuse, after all who wants to forget? I look like a Pratt sometimes because I repeat myself, repeat myself. Seriously though it’s embarrassing.
Picture by Fine acupuncture.com
People that have not had cancer will never understand how it affects a human being. How can they, we must excuse their ignorance in not trying to even understand. I have been insulted, even misjudged by people close to me. I have to realise it’s not something they will understand unless they try to. Walking around pointing the finger at someone suffering does not help anyone.
Chemo brain can last for years so if it’s you, know it’s a possible normal for you. It’s frustrating because people may get annoyed at you, no one will understand unless they have researched what you maybe feeling. It does not mean we have lost our intelligence. It means we have been affected by chemothearopy, our memories may not be up to scratch but it does not mean we are inadequate. Far from it, chemo brain is real. But the fact is that chemo brain is much more frustrating for the person with it than it is for the person communicating with that person. Have a great day and know that your not alone, there are I suspect many that will read this and realise that it’s normal and even feel a bit better about it. Because others feel what they do.
Have a good weekend
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Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.
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