I have started writing tomorrows blog so many times tonight, but have been so upset that I could not carry on. Then I was reminded inadvertantly why I write. To tell you how it is, how my cancer journey is. Well the last 2 days have been full on even emotional. I am emotional now if I am honest, I keep having flash backs tonight of People stood over me careing, things people and more over children that had sent me messages. I keep getting flash backs of laughter, whilst having the dreaded and needed.
The expectations that people think cancer is just about the drugs, whilst I know I am not abnormal and this is a healing process it’s still hard to live through all the same. It’s hard for my wife to, who sometimes just is not the person I am able to talk to. We have different interests and I suppose that’s what makes it work, that we are different. Cancer is not just about treatment, it’s the effects, the tiredness, the weakness whilst being strong. Finding strength in weakness, well not for me. Not tonight, tonight is not a strong night.
So tonight I feel weak, I can’t feel like I am a silverback every night I guess. It’s impossible to be on top all the time. I am not going to continue tonight only to say, we are all human and bad days are inevitable. I just hope tomorrow’s today is much better. It’s normal to have a bad day.
Have a good week everyone
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