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It’s our choice you would think what affects us in our lives is our fault right? Non of us know if they will get cancer. Or become ill. You who ate kebabs all your life or a minister that had or has a roast every week. When we get cancer we become we. People with cancer realise that we actually are the same after all. I met a lady yesterday who had had cervical cancer, she also struggled with leg pain. She described it as like I do, walking through treacle like her legs were like led weights. She found it difficult to bend down and get up. It’s upsetting how the very choice she made (to have treatment) is the reason that she has the pain. The cancer did not give her the pain, the way it was removed caused her the pain proberbly for the rest of her life. But how long that pain free life would have been without treatment is anyone’s guess.
It’s the same for anyone that chooses to prolong life and have treatment, they are almost certainly left with some kind of side effect. I did have my pain down to having had cancer in my bones, being at 4 a one step away from terminal. The pain is without doubt some days unbearable, especially after doing something for a long period. Long could be 20 mins these days.
I chose to save my life through treatment, therefore I chose the pain I am in every day. I know that, but it does not make it any easier to deal with. It does not make it easier to be positive everyday. But guess what. I choose to be positive every day, I have to make a conscious choice to enjoy another day or to be miserable in it. When I find myself getting really low because of the pain, I think about Steven Hawkin and how much he has to deal with. Yet making it to his 70’s he still goes to university and encourages many people everyday. Steven Hawkin is my bench mark, my get over yourself person. My if he can I can person, my help in times of despair . Everyone needs a way of making yourself do, I way of compelling yourself onwards. So now I have had my pain killers I am going to take Faithy out and throw the ball for her so she gets some excercise and I am going to say hello to everyone I see and smile through the pain.
What we choose to be, is what we will be.
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Mark, the important thing to remember in trying to be positive every day is that no one is positive all the time, be they healthy or ill. No one can be positive 100% of the time.
Even the most Compassionate and Happy H.H. Dalai Lama admitted to some anger with the Chinese who took over his country of Tibet in the 1950s
The important thing is to try to make the best of your situation and if depression or anger comes calling on your doorstep, open up and talk about it. Share you feelings even though the person you share with may not be able to say, or do, something for you.
And as always, remember, you are not alone on your health journey. There are millions of people around the world who are walking along side you and understand where you’re coming from. They may not have your type of cancer, your degree of pain or other symptoms, but they suffer along side you.
Suffering crosses all social, cultural and economic boundaries. It crosses over every religion (or non-religion). Suffering knows no boundaries.
We all react differently to illness, but the common denominator is that we suffer.