The meaning of that has changed for me over the years. But how do you respond when some one greats you with “hi, how are you?” When I was younger I used to say “fine how are you” but what happens if your not ok. Do you tell them or do you just say the fine sentence. It’s an interesting one, because when I was a lot younger I used to have a lot of friendships, which I know know were just people I knew and not true friends. They were people that did not want anything to be wrong, wanted life to be hunky dory and not have to respond to an illness or issue. But for me I asked a question, and I always want to know how someone is when I ask “How are you”?
It does not matter who the person is, the question from me to the person is always meant. But it was a new way for me to understand that people who said “all right” did not want to actually know if I was alright. I guess it was when we moved to leyland I realised this when I started at welfield high school and everyone seemed to say “Oreet” it to me was a new way and a new way of communicating, yet for years when I said it I always wanted a response and never got one. I thought people were quite rude not telling me how they were. It seemed only the ones that followed it on by “did you sleep ok”? Really wanted to know.
The other week I was in touch with my friend Michael 33 and we had a little chat as to how he was, I followed it up with “I really do want to know. He was pleased because so many people seem to ask the question and not expect a response. I have learnt over the years that actually there are proberbly only a select few that ask the question and are truly interested. The people that are bothered about others and mean the question when they ask it, you will find on our cancer stories group. Because they know what it’s like to go through a situation, that’s tough to deal with. It’s a comfort to have people round you like that.
I want you to try it today, ask someone how they are, then look at them as say ” really how are you” they will be taken a back and even feel good in some way that they are well thought of, cared for. Even cherished. It’s nice to be liked, and nicer to be well thought of.
I bet you think differently about saying that from now on don’t you. Some people love talking about themselves, I guess some would say I do writing my blog everyday. But my blog is about helping people to understand what the journey of cancer is like. When I am asked how I am I have to assess are they just greeting me or do they really want to know. I tend to find that out by looking in someone’s eyes. You can’t do that on social media though can you, but you can make sure that they know you mean it. I am off now for a while so you may not see me till late Sunday night but rest assured I will blog at some point tomorrow. Someone will be unhappy on the journey home, I just hope it’s not me. But if it is me then the car will be a happy car because, I am the least bothered about who wins. Andie is a massive Manchester city fan, my old Liverpool shirt was 7 years old. I bought a new one yesterday, (well Andie did)
Have a great weekend.
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Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.
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