What you have to say.

Tags

business, chemotheropy, encouragement, faith, help, hope, industry, love, message

You may never ever have the effect on the world, if you don’t actually say to someone what you think you have to say. What you have to say, could change the whole direction of someone’s life for the better. Yet you don’t say what you have to say, and there may be no effect, or maybe the effect of you not saying something neglected to encourage someone that needed to hear what you have to say. See that’s what I have struggled with in recent days, that my blog is not effective, encouraging, or maybe even futile. Yes I thought those thoughts.
Why did I even think such absolute rubbish, why did I rob someone of a post that should have been written but never was. We will never know what those posts were, what they would have said or how the may have affected people. But one thing I do know is, I personally have to be of the right mind to write. You know that I speak with truth and integrity and from my very own experience. I was talking to my dad, (who possibly is my worst critic) and he encouraged me to continue. That it was worth while doing what I am doing. Writing here to you. I am not able to tell you how many times I wanted to give up, how many times I heard small voices saying things like ” no one wants to hear what you write ” ” no one even understands your words ” such lies. Such de motive lies. Such useless unviable and needless ethics. Just not what is really happening. 

   
I write, so one person a day may feel encouragement, and I believe that happens everyday. I believe a power greater than I puts my posts in front of someone that needs it everyday. So again I say. ” I will carry on ” I WILL! Deter me, do your best to de energise me. Then I will rise up stronger again, because what I believe I should do I will do. Only now have I realised it should have been pool night tonight. But no one text. Maybe it’s I that should make it happen. Maybe it’s you that should say what you have to say. 

After all, there is only you on this planet that is able to say what you have to say. How powerful is that. Only you…..

Have a great week 

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

Survival is good.

Tags

BMT, chemotheropy, hope, Ice, instincs, side effects, survival

In yesterday’s blog another blogger commented I will put his link up shortly. He said he was asked how he was and his response was “oh surviving” the person that replyed said “survival is good” my friend Rob would have said that to me. We live in a world where so many seem to complain about the lot they have been given, instead of rejoicing that we are here to enjoy some elements of life. I have dark patches in my daily life far more than the normal  I was used to, due to life that cancer has given to me. I say given because Cancer made me see more things than it took from me. It’s opened my eyes and whilst I could have lost my life, I survived, and that’s good.

  
You are on this earth for a reason, mine could be to encourage others, and I could not do that as effectively if I had not been touched by cancer. Well maybe that’s true but what ever the case I have more because of cancer than I did with out cancer. So I am kind of blessed to have had it really, blessed that I know what it takes to beat it. 

When I went in for my Stem cell transplant, I said these words to my wife. “I hope what I have left of me, is enough for you”  she replied “what ever you is, after transplant. Will still be you, and you are enough for me”  I realised that I had to survive for her, for my family, my friends and my exstended family on CS. I am writing this with someone in mind and she knows who she is. As she reads this she will know that she to will know that “survival is good”  My fellow blogger where I got the inspiration for this blog. 

Remember it’s not always obvious what you gain from a struggle to survive. But you will find what it is that’s good about your survival, even if it’s just that you survived. But what ever you do with your survived self, make sure you bless at least one person. Even by that one act it was worth you surviving.  Have a a great day.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

No you can, really you can.

Tags

cancer, chemotheropy, encouragement, faith, hans, illness, inception, kindness, love, time, zimmer

Please listen to the music whilst you read this blog.

Today has been an emotional roller coaster. I blogged again for the first time in 9 days, having been discouraged from writing and maybe even attacked from within myself somehow. I felt over whelmed by pain, felt friendships were not what they should be. I felt emotional pain for all those that suffered, I mean an actual pain. I searched and searched for some kind of comfort. But I did not find it, not even did I find peace. But then yesterday I blogged again, and I felt some kind of peace, knowing that I had done something useful. The pains started to subside, and I started to feel more positive. All because I had a light shone in my face. ” I may not see the answer but it is there. Then tonight I heard this piece of music.

  
The piece by Hans Zimmer immidieatley made me feel like my spirit was alive. That the only reason I was finding it tough was, because I was doing the right things. That if I stopped writing what I am given to write that people’s lives would not have a source of encouragement. People would lose out some how. Not only that, I myself would lose out.
I have pain inside when I hear someone has cancer. When I hear of someone suffering, someone said to me it’s anxiety. I don’t think so, for me it’s passion, given to me by cancer itself. Well I am not going to say I can’t, I am going to stand and say I can. I am going to keep moving forwards no matter what anyone says. I will keep on keeping on. That’s what this piece of music said to me as soon as I heard it. I teared up, it said. Mark you can, and you must carry on. Some my laugh at my thoughts. But this is not about the doubters, this is about life. This is about people who are affected by illness that feel they are not able to carry on. This post is FOR YOU. You have to hear me, you can go on. To do that you must stand, you must say you can. You must start to believe in the impossible. Believe that, maybe just maybe you had cancer for a reason. 

Illness of any kind makes us appreciate what we do have, but some find it an oppression and are dispondent at what they could have had. What you have is something that will open your eyes to all that’s around you. IF YOU let it, you are able to feel love for another soul. The live I have for another has become so deep, I don’t even know how deep it is myself. What I do know though, is if you are doing something worthwhile, positive, or encouraging. You will find stumbling blocks put in your path. Because you are doing something worth while. The question is how will you respond?

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

CANCE

Tags

blindness, cancer, collage, hope, learning, love, other, you

Hi everyone, can I start by saying SORRY. I failed you, I have been selfish and self absorbed. I have been finding time to love who I am where others have judged my opinions. I have a friend who seems to know what I need, I guess because he needed the same as me. He lives in another country has never met me. But yet he understands what I have faced. He has had cancer aswell, he had it in his neck and although never had chemo he did have radio thearopy. 

In my blog I have talked about many things, like loving yourself. Accepting who you are, forgiving yourself. Being yourself and sharing who you are with others. I have shared how my perception of life has changed, that money is not as important to me as happiness.why. Because I have had a light shone in my face, I have seen that there are far more reasons to treat yourself right, than to abuse your body. What I have realised in having cancer is, that I am a good person and what ever the opinion of the doubter is. Does not matter. 

I watched a video tonight that shone a light in my eyes, I have been shown there is more to life that the way I treated myself before I got Cancer. You see. Cancer made me ce. And while you think I have spelt that wrong, because of can cer is why I can now ce. 

I CAN CE BECAUSE OF CANCER. 

I can see the bigger picture, and maybe whilst others may think I have been punished for something by having cancer. It has actually opened my eyes. I wrote a blog called Muddy glasses sometimes you can’t see what you need because you Don’t see what it is we need. I had cancer so I can ce. I once had cancer but now I see. You are on a journey yourself and it’s true. If you still feel it’s tough, it’s just you have not got to the end yet, that’s all. Life is tough, no matter how you cut it. But for sure to have the light shone on loving yourself first us most definetley the key to a happy life. 

Laughter in a bad situation is healthy, us brutish think everything should be so solum. Find some joy in your world, because otherwise. What’s the point? 

Love who you are and be thankful you have experienced what you have, enabling you to be amongst the people that CAN CE. 

Fonz

Thanks Rob

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

Muddy glasses

How are you today? Muddy glasses, well I guess it’s a bit like you can’t see the wood for the trees. Life can get a bit full sometimes and we just go with what we are used to. What we h…

Source: Muddy glasses

Its alright

Reblogged because it’s not been viewed much.

fonzandcancer blogging to encourage.

Morning, every morning when I wake up. I have a subject for my blog, I don’t have the subject when I go to sleep just when I wake. So this morning I had this advert running around in my head.

I guess because today’s blog is not about Cancer or what we are facing its about how we deal with it, how we cope. What we do as people in the eye of adversity. What we say, our attitude, our manner. Our approach matters, it really does make a differance in our battle. You see some battles are over before we even have the fight. Why because we have won or lost it in our own minds. Its our choice how we face today. Its our choice how we prepare for tomorrow.

Everyday I am alive I am determined to Win, I am a fighter. Today is not a day…

View original post 235 more words

Tired of being strong.

Tags

commited, giving, grace, love, passion, patience, unconditional

Strange statement some may think, but it is true that people suffering illness get tired of being strong. Continually smiling at those that don’t really care about you. They just ask how you are to make themselves feel better. Maybe they feel they are doing a good turn. They ask a person recovering from cancer how they are “how are you”? They say. They don’t mean it, they don’t come and have fun and laughter knowing the person still suffers but bringing at least some happiness. For some they ask for themselves, so they can say they asked how the person was. Well I am tired of those people that don’t really care, the people that do for show. I am sad that people don’t ask and mean it, I am sick of meaningless chit chat. I would rather no greeting than a fake question they want a “yea great,how about you”?answer. I am tired of appearing strong for them. Those people that never send a text or phone. But ask you when they see you, because it’s convenient. Do they really care? Are they bothered really? If so why do they never visit, why do they say words but have no actions. 

  
I have people in my life that love me, they know they love me and I feel it. Others know they should do, but they don’t because you are not as important as the things or people they regard as important. But I ask you this question. Are not some of those people that you regard as important, people that provide or give something to you. Or do you want nothing from them but they do anyway. Do you maintain relationships because you benifit from them, or do you show those that you love that you do for no reward. If you want nothing but still do, that’s true love. That’s unconditional love. 

Please watch this short video, it says all this post is meant to be.

Unconditional love for another, is one of the most precious actions a person can be. Do you do because you want to do, or because it benefits you to do. What ever your thoughts on this subject only you will truly know, what the relationships you cultivate mean to you. A true friend will love you anyway, there are many people that I have discovered don’t really care. True colours come shining through, in illness. It makes me so sad, people do for themselves and not the person that really needs them. Maybe because it’s convenient to them, and it’s of great benifit to them you maintain your friendship. There are people I love now, that I did not some 10 years ago. Why? Because they have been there no matter what, a shoulder no matter what. A friend no matter what. They have given to me not wanting reward, or anything in return. People like that are precious, people like that are for sure people that give strength in our fight. Treasure those that treasure you. Remembering that, what you give is not how much it cost, but whether it came from each your head or your heart. When someone gives from their heart, they are the Angels of the earth. People that don’t care if you are weak or strong. They are just there, and don’t mind if you are not strong. They just love you anyway. 

Thank you for being you, and allowing me to be a real person. Not expecting anything from me, it means a lot. Because I want to be who I truly am. Not strong all the time.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

Tiredness people don’t understand.

Tags

chemotheropy, cheo, fatigue, healthy, hope, love, passion, radiothearopy, tirdness

This post is for anyone who wants to understand, what tiredness means to someone in recovery, or indeed in treatment. For me this well built strong man, does not accept weakness well. Tired was never something I had surcome to, it was a feeling I would brush off and continue on with my day. Tiredness to me was something and nothing, so what I would carry on regardless. Even doing to 2 in the morning then getting up early enough to hear the birds tweeting. I would think nothing of getting up at 4 am to drive to who knows where for a meeting with who knows who. My life was energetic full on and interesting. That was until I was 40, I am now 47. You see what a normal person feels as tired, you can recover from with a lye in on a Saturday or a Sunday. Or both.

  
This is not the case for someone who has had high dose chemothearopy. Many people, in fact I would say all people. Comment on how well I look, how amazingly normal I look concideringnthis time last year I had no hair what so ever. (Apart from my eye brows)  I looked falown, pail and at deaths door. I was of course and I shut my family and friends away from my life and me and Andie got on with what needed to be done. I want you to know, that it’s ok to be tired, that YOU are NOT  weak because you are tired. What you are is recovering, you are finding new boundaries that were not what you were used to before you need to have treatment.

You will need to be in bed for longer in the morning possibly, need a sleep in the afternoon possibly. Then you may need a sleep in the evening to. Before going to bed and sleeping for a further 10-12 hours. It’s ok to do that, your body is healing whilst you sleep, DO NOT. Give yourself a hard time, it’s ok to make some food and feel exhausted, wash a car and feel exhausted. Mow the lawn and feel exhausted, weed a border and not able to do anything else for the rest of the day. You are not abnormal, you are not different to other people. I was a body builder at one point in my life, training every other day and having a BMI of 8 strong, and unshakable.

  
Some of us have read the side effects of the drugs we have had in our chemo, others just get on with it. I did the latter, my wife scared herself with all the side effects. I am finding out that people are still affected 5 years down the line, some bounce back quickly, some take longer. It’s ok to be where you are at, it’s ok and you should not beat yourself up. I smile as I write, because although I do my best to not give myself a hard time for being so tired. I do. But the purpose of this post is yo encourage you, that you are not alone. We, the people that have had treatment know how long we have been tired for. An operation under general can take a week to recover from, that’s ok to. But the tiredness you feel is so different to what tiredness used to feel like before cancer or what ever nasty you are now, or have been treated for.

  
Nutrition is very helpful, and the more of a stable diet you have IE 5 a day. The better you will feel, you may think. Well maybe not, because let’s not forget that the body needs nutrition to repair our bodies, and if we are eating well then our bodies will repair itself more. Which in turn makes us more tired, radiotherapy damages the body as does chemo. So don’t think that your tiredness because of Radio, your not entitled to. Because you are. Your body tells you to sleep to heal, allow your body to heal. Those that think you should be back to full health and working again, forgive them. They have no idea what it’s like to feel like you do, and for me I pray that they continue to have that ignorance. 

Maybe you are reading this and you have never been touched by chemo or alike, I just hope that this post has helped you to understand what someone who has had treatment still has to deal with.

If you have had treatment, I hope you feel encouraged. ITS OK TO FEEL TIRED.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

Invincible.

Tags

Aria, chemothearopy, Ducati, hope, invincible, love, motor bike, ninja

In life, only when something happens are you then able to stop and look around. As a young man I rode motorbikes everywhere. I rode bikes at the soonest possible age and even before I was legal to ride I rode on the fields on dirt bikes I bought with my paper round money. I loved two wheels, I had a racer when I was really young. It was white with drop handle bars.

  
This was the bike I had, I also had an xl100 Honda for the fields.

  
Life was very different at that young age. I progressed onto bigger bikes 

KH 250

  
Gpz 1100

  
Fzr 600

  
Then eventually my CBR 600

  
Then the latest bike I owned some 7 years ago was my ZX900R

  
I was fearless, no contemplations of ill health. That I may possibly get sick, I was invincible and never ever contemplated consequenses. I used to hear of other friends coming off their bikes, hurting the,selves badly. But it was never in my mind, I never even considered that I could make a mistake and come off. Things did happen like I bought rubbish tyres called swallows for my Honda super dream and fell off turning it around in a car park.

  
I feared nothing or no one, I actually believed I would live forever. I was Peter Pan I was someone that had not really know serious injury except a broken leg in rugby and an accident on a RD80LC. I ran into the back of a ford Capri. But it turned out that the owner of the ford was seeing someone he should not have been doing. So he put his bumper in the back of his car and left. I heard nothing more. 

RD 80 LC

This was just like mine, my brother bought it off me though.

  
I remember the day I finished riding bikes. Slowing down as I went through the gears on my Ninja, with my Andie on the back. It had new tyres sprockets, chain and brake pads and discs. Yet I was really bothered about something happening to the person I treasured on the back. My future wife. As we rode home together after another day out, I knew that it was my last ever time on a bike. My life changed knowing that I loved and cared for my love Andie greatly, it’s not something you can buy. But I realised that’s our days of exhilaration were over in that respect. 

But I still believed I was Peter Pan, I still believed I was strong and would never be affected by anything. I ate what I wanted, drank what I wanted, I went out all the time and even travelled Austrailia and newzealand one year. 

That is until 6 months after we got married and our lives were sent into disarray by cancer. I became confused that I just may be fallable. That I was indeed as normal as the next man. Although I have always lived a life without a care for my well fair, lived a full packed adventurous life. Fear of losing my life was never part of me, I had no fear of man or machinery.

What having cancer has taught me, is that life is fragile, that we did not know what will happen around the corner, what will affect us in the next hour of our lives. It’s made me value a smile given to me by a stranger, it’s made me realise that people are precious, that’s life is precious. That not even I am able to escape desease. Cancer has actually given me something very precious, it’s made me realise how important life actually is. Yes I have fought the fight of my life to sustain my life, it feels amazing to be able to receive that smile from my wife and friends. You have a life, love the life you have and those that are in it. Hug them while you still can, don’t complain about what they are not, love what they are.

Fonz

Follow me, I will follow back. 😊
http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

I can’t.

Tags

belief, hope, love, mind, pearl, perseverance, roosevelt

Tell me I Can’t and I will show you I CAN. Have you watched the film ‘Peal harbour’ a film of how the Japanise massacred the Americans that were resting in their ships  many times I  felt as though I was not able to do things in my cancer treatment.  Cancer treatment took away my abilities to carry on, even made me think negatively. How low I felt I can not even communicate to you. But I will say that how I felt was that life itself was impossible, that I should not even be alive. Thinking thoughts like ‘what’s the point in my treatment’ ‘surly it’s wasted treating me’ give it to someone who needs it. All these thoughts went though my head. Never once thinking, why do I have cancer, but why do I deserve to be treated. 

  
So what of pearl harbour, well it was a poinient moment in the film where president Roosevelt, who contracted polio at 39 years old. His desease put him in a wheel chair, it took his ability to be able to stand and be mobile like other people that walked the planet. In a meeting where they planned how they would retaliate on the Japanese. He slowly stood, making the statement ‘do not tell me cant’ every time the wave came over me making me feel so low. When that happened to me, I remembered that moving part of the movie.saying to myself ‘if he can I can’ I removed can’t from my vocabulary. President  Roosevelt although American and passed on. His legacy inspired me, it enthused me to believe that I could achieve where maybe at times it seemed impossible.

If you say you can’t, you will not be able to achieve. You have told yourself where your limits are, and you said you can’t. So it will be so. For me negativity needed to be removed, believing that I could. Using the examples set by great men of history. You are able to do whatever you say you are able to do, cancer, or illness is hard enough without making it harder again in your own mind. Real ease yourself to be able, tell yourself you can and trust me the load WILL be lightened. “I CAN” is one of the most powerful things you can say to yourself. 

Replace can’t with can. Try it and see how different your life will be in a few short days. Trust me you really can start saying can. 

Fonz

Follow me, I will follow back. 😊
http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

Don’t take your life for granted.

Tags

decisions, endurance, hope, life, love, Oppertunity, reality

Did you know, that your life exsists for a reason. That your life is not an accident, you are not a chance happening. YOU ARE MEANT TO BE. You and only you can do what you do, for sure someone else can do the same things. But not how you can, not the way you do things. Your life is for a reason, yet so many complain about what there life is not. Instead of being grateful for what life is. You see so many, always want more, it’s never enough. When the next tick is ticked they still strive for more.

  
We have lived in this house for 6 years and have had to fight cancer the whole time we have lived here. Never have we lived here and enjoyed what we have around us. Yes sure there have been small moments where we have sat back and enjoyed what we are surrounded by. Those moments have been very few though, moments that we never had and never will again. We are all so fragile, our lives balance on a knife blade. Anyone of us could have a life changing event at any time. Today tomorrow, in 10 years. Maybe it will never happen, rest assured though, you will not always happen. You have a life that you have now, today. This moment will never ever happen again, life is without doubt something to be enjoyed not endured. The moment you complain about your coffee being to cold, or the meals taken to long to come. That moment won’t happen again, it’s gone. 

  
What’s awesome about that though, is that you have another chance to respond differently. To enjoy the person you are with instead of complaining about bad service or something else completely insignificant. What we have in front of us, with us, or by us. Is there for us not against us, but it’s how we react to it. That’s what really matters in life, our response. The way we see life, as an endurance or an opportunity. But every day is an opportunity presented to us, yet we walk on past all the opertunity. Seeing it all as hinderances. Yet the very thing that presents its so called hinderance could be the very thing that could give you the oppertunity that you don’t even know .

  
In life there are doors, it’s up yo us to walk past or push on the door. But one fact is for sure, and that is those oppertunity it’s will still be behind the door if we open it or not. Our choice is in the opening or walking past. For sure cancer has taught me that life does not present opertunities, it gives us a viechle to find the opertunities life has to offer. But the question is, will you look for opertunities or find reasons not to. Will you be the one that makes a differance, or just another name in the planet we call earth. Will you do, or complain about the hand you say you have been dealt? Or is the question, will you or won’t you?

The choice is yours

Fonz

Follow me, I will follow back. 😊
http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

  

Marriage.

Tags

arguments, compleate, enjoyment, helpful, Laughter, marriage, siri, together

What does marriage mean to you. A commitment to another, a life of compromise because there is another person always to think of. Is it a mill stone around your neck, something you are scared of. Maybe you think that marriage means something else to you. Well here is my take on being married put how only I can. I would like to make it simple, for you yourself to even remove all of what you perceive marriage to be at this point and imagine life as a block.
So there is life right in front of you, with or without a person with you, married to you. Life still is there, it’s in its form that you imagine in your mind. I see is as a block, that weighs a certain weight. We all have them it’s just when we are single that block has to be carried oround by ourselves. No one next to us to lighten the load, no one to help to make the load lighter, and easier to handle. 

  
Marriage for me means a lot of things, the main one being that two people are moving in the same direction helping the other person in the life that they live. They don’t place demands and expectations on what they think should be marriage. They make the journey easier, the person that walks along side you has hold of the same block that you have and push or pull in the same direction. The person that wants the marriage to go in a direction that is opposite to the intended direction of the marriage. That person adds weight, creates problems and makes life harder for the other person to live. People that do that in a marriage, are selfish. They styfal the possibilities of what can be achieved together. See that’s just it isn’t it, if it’s a friendship, which of course is what a marriage is first off. Then that friendship should make your life better, more fun, more bearable, fill the air with laughter, shared dreams and of course love for each other. 

  
See I have always said that, the perfect marriage is two people that always put each other first, think about the other before themselves. Many things have come true since me and Andie have been married, many ambitions that we both have worked towards have come to fruition. Like my wife’s career for one, where we live, beating cancer twice together. Many things have been undertaken, not only undertaken but successfully achieved TOGETHER. Many people do not achieve, because they have a partner that is so demanding. So the partner has to work harder to meet the demands, of their partner as opposed to working together to achieve each and every goal together. A marriage makes dreams come true, a marriage brings freedom of life. Makes life more pleasurable, bearable maybe but most definetley easier. If a person is holding you back, it’s due to either an illness or something that the other person wants to benefit from. For me the block ‘life’ will always be there. The wife I have by my side makes that block lighter and easier for me to bear, I know that my involvement in Andies life makes her life easier to. Many ambitions my wife has had we have achieved together, not counting the cost but enjoying the smile of happiness on each other’s faces. Is not seeing a look of joy so much better than despair, of course it does not happen over night. It takes time and effort and conversations discovering what the other persons desires in life are. 

  
One thing is for certain, that is I am much happier married than I ever was single. I thank God for my wife, and OUR life that we have together. It’s not one persons life anymore, it’s two lives joining together as one. Continuing together in the same direction. 

Have a great week 

Mark and Andie

Follow me, I will follow back. 😊
http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

Passion.

Tags

dream, helping, hope, love, others, passion, people

You ever stopped to think about what you are passionate about, I am not going to start reeling off the things you could be passionate about. But what I do know, is that if your passionate about life, then you have faced losing your own life, or someone close to you. If it’s a thing something without a heart then, you have only ever known life. I envy you in some ways because you will feel invincible. I most certainly have a passion for cars, I love the sound and the smell of a roaring V8. My brother has just bought a car boasting a V12 engine, a very different sound to the V8’s  I have grown to love. That roar to me is life because I can understand what goes into making a beautiful car. But I also know what has gone into enabling me to be able to hear that sound today, which I guess completely contradicts my first statement. Pointless post?

Not entirely, because although I am still passionate about the smell and sound of engines and all things that are loud and competitive in that realm. I have become passionate about people and what they face, I have a certain empathy with people that are facing illness and battles through no fault of their own. I mean lets have it right, an accident, and illness, things caused by something we don’t control can change a life. That is where my passion has its main focus these days, supporting others that are not fortunate in the cards they have been dealt. 

  
We can all choose to care or walk on by. The people that walk on by are most certainly the majority, which of course is a shame. It’s down to us to infect people isn’t it? No it’s our job to affect people to want to give something to someone, to want to help someone to grow. To feel wanted, needed and important, I did not choose cancer. Cancer chose me, there are no ways to keep cancer away. If cancer wants you it WILL have you. The accident you were in that changed your life forever, that was always going to happen. You can’t blame yourself, it’s happened in your life. 

I am passionate about turning what has tried to ruin my life, into something that drives me in life. I use the very effects of cancer on my body to ignite a positives within me to help others and therefore don’t find many days where I am as dispondent as I could be. You may have noticed I have not written for a couple of days, I am still on track to write my 365 posts in 365 days because there has been days I have written more than one. I have been and still am ill with flu, but feel like I am on the mend now. 

  
What ever the thing is that’s happened in your life, to crush your life. Use that to ignite the passion within you to do something that you never would have done had you not been affected by the situation you are in. Holding your head in your hands, or lifting your head up. So that you are able to give others a lift up, is far more worthy.Ignite you passion for life that you know is there, it could be bacuse of your situation that someone finds encouragement in the story you tell.

Have a great week

Fonz

 Follow me, I will follow back. 😊
http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

Release day

Share this if you would, it will raise awareness of what bonemarrow transplant is. I hope you read the full article. It was a celebrated day.

fonzandcancer blogging to encourage.

When I think back to how I got here I feel rather amazed I have made it. You see on receiving my relapse diagnosis in October last year, my consultant made a suggestion that I may have to go for a bone marrow transplant. We had no clue how this would happen, would they saw my bones in half and scrape my old bone marrow out. You laugh but I have no idea at this point what or how this was!

So here it is, the journey of stem cell transplant. I remember arriving at the hospital and going in to see the doc. I almost hid in his room, I was moving around a lot and quite obviously agitated, nervous and tearful as he explained all the scary side effects. Possible heart failure, kidney, lung, liver failures were very real complications. A lady even died in here having a…

View original post 919 more words

What’s treatment mean.

Tags

attitude, chemothearopy, health, help, hope, love, nutrition, radiation, scans, support, treatment

How do you see treatment? After all it starts with a nice word, a word our parents said that meant something nice. A treat like a chocolate bar or an outing somewhere nice. But as an adult it means a medical way of treating something that needs medication, surgical management. When I was told you need treatment, I had no idea what that meant. I had no clue how that would occur. The word chemotheropy was such a meaningless word to me, but when you ask the question “what if I don’t have treatment” and you get the response “you will die” you kinda know you are going to need to do whats required of you. You then have to acquire the tools required to beat or under Ho your treatment. For me, what I needed most in my life was positivity. I knew that there was no room in my life for anything less than a ‘I can’ approach to the drugs I needed to have administered to me.

  
I also needed to trust that what they were doing to me was going to work, I asked questions like. “Is there another way” “could I not beat it by diet” I have since learnt that doctors have only 1 hour of nutritional training in a 7 year training period to become a GP. I have learnt that it’s our own knowledge that can help us, or maybe aswell as that the trust that what they do works. After all that was the answer I was given when I asked is there another way. “The way we know works” so why try to fight it, I needed to accept that they knew what they were doing and effectively trust them although making sure that what they gave me is what the doctor prescribed.

  
For me treatment meant, scans,  tests, and lots and lots of drugs. They named the drugs chemotheropy, and they were administered over long periods of time, they were in bags hung on a drip stand. They had words like cytotoxic written on the bags, there were more than one bag that would be dripped directly into my blood stream. My main weapon I used when having treatment was something anyone that faces illness needs. Not just cancer, it’s a weapon that can lift you out of any hole we find ourselves in.

  
Positivity, and attitude if we have both of those in our armoury, then our chances of success are massively increased. That’s because we believe we will win, our attitude is positive and our expectations are positive. My attitude to feeling down was positive because I believed if I was down the only was was for me to get up, therefore the only effect of being down was that I would get up and beat the situation I found myself in. It’s like we talked about in a recent blog about our minds. It’s only our own negativity that drags us down by the very thoughts we think in our minds. Our attitude to treatment and anything that is negative, is a massive part of getting through treatment. Well it was for me, and I know it helped me greatly in my fight.  All people have a lot of angry moments, I am not saying I did not get angry I did, lots. But the main help is to be positive, and expect an outcome that is in your favour.  My attitude to treatment is most certainly the main weapon to overcoming what I faced. 

I truly hope that my writing how it was for me, helps you in what ever you face. Remember it’s not feeling negative that’s a bad thing we all do and did. It’s how we deal with it that matters. 

Fonz

Follow me, I will follow back. 😊
http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

Match day.

Tags

champions, cup, football, hope, kompany, Liverpool, love, manchester, wembley, winners, yergen

So there we were all excited about the final today “capital one cup” and we thought we would look at the terms and conditions of ‘club Wembley seating’

  
To us it sounded rather strict, and whilst we did actually have our respective team shirts on the day we had jumpers on so no one could see. We were both very very happy that the tickets were gifted to us and for sure we saw it as a blessing. 

   
    
    
 

This was the beginning of a fabulous oust day for us both, a day that would remain a memory for the rest of our lives. Our view from our seats looked like this.

  
I managed to persuade the door attendants to let me in 1 min before the rest of the people were 88,000 of them. To take this shot of the empty stadium. This was made happen by the kindness of someone I did not even know, induced by the kindness of a friend that I have known since my school days.

Club Wembley did not seem as strict as I had first thought, people were at least wearing scarfs and hats representing their club. 

   
    
 

We were in the city end which made me very happy as it was the end my wife needed to be in really. But we could just have easily been the Liverpool end…

   
    
    
    
   

There was extra time and even after extra time the scores were level. But then the toss was taken and all the penalties were taken at the city end. The end we were sat at. Andies face was amazing when they won, the Liverpool fans left in the most. A few stayed to see city lift the trophy as we did. Who would have thought a year ago that this would have been possible.

   
    
 
Manchester city were champions for the fourth time. Equal long Manchester unites record of 4 wins. It was Liverpools 12 th Capitol one cup final although named differently over the years. We would remain 8 time winners. But to be honest I was pleased to, that city had won. Although I never told Andie that. It was a long day. We left the hotel at 11 pm and got home at 2.20 am would I do it again. I don’t know but what I do know is we had an amazing day and a memory that will be played many times in Andies mind. 

I hope you enjoyed the pictures and post. I will blog again tomorrow and hopefully have recovered sufficiently that I will not have to have so many pain killers tomorrow.

Fonz

Follow me, I will follow back. 😊
http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016