Tags

, , , , , , ,

Every morning I get up, I am naked as the day I was born. I know I am a slightly different shape to the day I was actually born.  But never the less I am still faced with the same old problem. How to make this rather over weight, middle aged man look good. Well actually those were my dating days. It was always a real pain breathing in on those dates I used to go on, of course some dates I went on I rather felt disappointed I had made the effort and did not bother to hold my waist in at all on those dates. Trouble with that though was that, buttons on my jeans burst and belts snapped. Recently I have become more comfortable getting up and not being able to see where my bits were, finding a mirror rather more useful than I had before this time in my life.

  
I must admit I have been rather struggling with the fact that I am no longer a 32 ” waist and have finally realised that just because the bee gees are playing on the 80’s music channel it does not mean that 32″ jeans fit comfortably like they did back then.  I have until 2 days ago imagined myself as that well toned strong fit athletic figure of a man. Trouble with that was though that it was a memory and not a reality. I kinda sneaked past 34″ waist without anyone noticing. Now I do apologise if you have at any point imagined me naked at any point here. Please ask God for forgiveness unless you are my mum. But even if you are my mum. Trust me mum I don’t look anything like you may think I do. 

I used to be frightened of the Family belly and as time went on and hit 40 I had to rest a lot and my 34″ waist became a 36″ now I am saying this. But until two days ago I just thought it was my reflection getting fat and not actually me. I don’t know if this rings a bell. Anyway I woke up last Thursday and tried on ALL my jeans and non fitted yup and they all were 36″ so I had to face facts. I looked in the mirror at me and my fella. I felt sorry for myself as I uttered the words. Me and you are a 38″ pal we just are we just gotta go and get some that actually fit my fat size and be happy about it.

Now I went in the shop, embarrassed as I uttered the sentence to the passing shop assistant ” Hi I can see 38″ long leg but no regular ” she sniggered and went off to find some. But this is the truth, I bought 3 pairs of £10 jeans that were next to the £36 jeans. Why because I will I hope one day, want to get back into a 36″ waist ( I don’t want to aim to high ) as she walked away I realised that I would never go to a party again and be thought of as attractive, but maybe be asked if I was a grandparent yet. 

Now I realise I am a 38″ and feel happy that they need hitching up, it makes that 32″ man I imagine seem more real now. This post I wrote because I am now happy with the fat me and hoped you would have some fun reading it.

Have a great day

Being happy with who you are today.

Fonz

Advertisements