Tags
belief, commitment, Depressed, faith, hope, love, oppertunities
Today I have to blog, because I said I would. I should be uploading all the photos from the capital one cup, maybe even blogging about the joy of the winning team, but if I am honest. The pain in my hands and legs consumes me today, I have no strength to be what I want to be today, no ability it seems to be the me that shrugs off so much and turns around so many situations. Today I have to rest, our dog faith can sense I am not myself, maybe it’s normal for the losing teams members to feel a lull when losing a match that we feel should have been ours.
But I know that it’s not because of the match, it feels like a punishment. A consequence even of having cancer means that the damage the cure has caused. Means that after doing comes pain, tomorrow I will write about accepting who we are. I feel really hacked off that I find myself with such low abilities, such high pain and such feelings that I feel should not be mine.
I started writing this some 8 weeks ago, yet I find myself feeling the same again today. Every time I do in a day I am punished the next day. So my reward today even though I may feel so bad, it’s to look at what yesterday’s efforts achieved. To rejoice that I am still able to coordinate the right people at the right time to at least make things happen for our future.
I know I wrote about this, have written about this, and will write about this again. Why because it’s all part of healing, all part of the cancer journey that I am on. Although cured dealing with the aftermath. But then you get rewards like this when you push on.
Maybe not entirely because of my hands, but most certainly because of the relationships I maintain. Even though I may not want to write some of the things I do, I even so concider it a privalage to be able to write ( even what I don’t want to write ) life in itself is a privalage and one I intend to enjoy one I want to see things happen, even if it will give me the pain I may feel the next day. Happiness seems to be my enemy, and whilst my happiness (our happiness) maybe tarnished by pain and my joy maybe quashed somewhat. Still I look for what is positive, still I look to make something hood out of something bad. When we started this project, we had to demolish a perfectly good and pufuntary building.
I started relating it to my whole journey again, that the conservatory that was had to be removed for a new one to take its place. That I could accept the small size and do nothing, or I could get rid of what was to replace it with something new. A but like my transplant. That the desease had taken hold of my body and for me to live a longer life, the blood that gave me life needed to be replaced in part so I could continue to live. The process hurt, I looked a mess for a time. Here are some pictures and videos of it all happening.
Sometimes we have to die to ourselves to become made anew, it reminded me of a verse in the bible. John 12 v23
http://biblehub.com/niv/john/12.htm
Change takes effort removing what was to enable us to become so much more than we thought was possible. Of course we can choose to do nothing as I could but what would be achieved by doing that? Nothing can be achieved if even when we don’t feel like it we don’t carry on. By moving forward even an inch takes effort, choices we all make everyday. Cancer or illness I believe brings out the best in someone if they choose to find it. Choosing to keep moving forward makes you awesome, it makes you special. It means you know how to accept what you have to do to make things happen. Is that what you will choose, to lose what you are to be rebuilt to become a better you. Trust me you can.
Hope you like the video.
Fonz
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Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)
It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.
Copyright © 2016
fonzandcancer blogging to encourage. 
I’ve been going through some physical issues
Can’t drive the car
It’s been driving me crazy
So my wife is at the mall
Locks the keys in the car
And of course I can’t run and save her
But what I can do is called the company
That we pay for emergency
Tell them what happen
Well they saved her
To me this was being resourceful
Thank you for visiting
As always Sheldon
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Your a good person Sheldon. Keep fighting 😔
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Thank you my friend
Same to you
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The best part of the post is reading your determination to keep inching forward. I’m happy for you in this as well as being inspired.
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Thanks so much buddy…
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Inasmuch as age is a cancer, I share your experience, but beyond that I cannot imagine what you are going through, and no words of mine could be adequate. But here’s to the good days, and I wish you many of them.
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Thank you for your encouragement.
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Did not know I did anything but thank you anyway x
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I have found that in order to move past pain and struggles, the first step is to acknowledge them. Trying to deny and be strong hasn’t really been helpful for me. So I love how you have expressed your vulnerability. I think in doing that, you will ultimately feel better and help so many other people going through this.
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That’s so kind Judy, I find it helpful to be honest and many have said they feel better knowing it’s not just them. It’s kind of a comfort to know your not alone isn’t it. X
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This is a great post. I did like the video and I Hope you feel a bit better soon x
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All the best in this. I pray you get done with the conservatory pretty soon.
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Your posts are always interesting, informative, uplifting and you have a talent for blending it your surroundings and day to day events with your own situation, thus the reader gets a ‘world view’. The parallel with ‘renovation’ and construction was very well crafted.
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Thank you so much for your encouragement. T means so much. I am grateful.
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