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BBC, cancer, desire, encouragement, hope, mo, motivation, personality, survived, together
I can honestly say if I knew life would be like this that I would not have had a transplant at all. I have been patient and although the doctors said I will be better after a 2 year period. I am not. Everyday I do my very best to be upbeat and helpful and encouraging to people. Yet I am sat here feeling sad with a lump in my throat. It feels unfair to go through so much and to give with your whole heart yet still feel like this. I know for sure other people will feel the same way but are afraid to be honest. Well I am if one thing, not afraid, everyday I stand when my body says no, everyday I smile when my body says cry. But some days like today, I have to allow myself the honesty to myself. Everyday I do my best yo lift others, but it’s not possible when I can’t (yup I said it) even lift myself. My spirit is torn and my mind wonders how long I can carry on feeling like this. I keep myself busy so as the pain depletes, you can’t feel pain whilst focused on something else.
Well pain, today you win. You have dragged me to the depths I did not feel possible. I have very strong pain killers, OxyContin and gabapentin. Sometimes I need two of each just to complete a day. What people’s opinions of me don’t seem to matter anymore. My dignity has been taken and another’s opinion has near no effect on me these days. What did I have the transplant for? To render me unable, to make me depressed. Well I fight both of those each day, aside of that encouraging others that they can as well. Because if I can you can right.
Yet although my honesty is unrivalled here, I still have a small smoulder that needs fanning to make the fire. So now even though all is seemingly against me! I will look for positives where I am unable to see. Not even the birds sing today, but like Job. I will rejoice anyway, I will say thank you for what has been given to me. Life where I should have non, warmth that I should not feel. Acceptance of what has been taken away and gratefulness for what I still have. This is a true battle today, one I must be grateful to have. Because without a battle, how can you win. Giving up means defeat, slumping because of the torment of pain. But NO I will not, I will win the battle and understand one day why it had to be won. Today I have the victory, because Jesus paid the price.
So with a thankful heart, and a grateful soul. I say thank you lord for the prickles, because without the prickles there would be no blackberries.
I hope you win your battle today to.
Smile at someone, you could help them find some sunshine.
Fonz
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fonzandcancer blogging to encourage. 
Reblogging this to my sister site, Success Inspirers World ☺
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My grandson, Michael, beat cancer. It was tough. He had brain cancer and through chemo and brain cell replacement survived at three years old. He is now sixteen. One win. But then his mother died of cancer last year. She lived to see his bat mizvah. And then she passed. Cancer is a bitch. No other word describes it. Wish you the best.
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I am so pleased your daughter in law was able to see her son reach 15! Yes for sure Cancer is a real bitch. Devides families. Really is a satanic beast. The devils work! Even ministers and families even those with ministers in them like mine. Can be at the mercy of the satanic weave of division and disruption cancer causes.
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Kudos for sharing this post of heartfelt thoughts. There isn’t much I can say to ease any of your pain but do want to thank you for swinging by the “Ranch.” We ❤︎ visitors. I hope the future is kinder and gentler to you.
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That’s kind thank you.
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As a physician and a blogger, I find it difficult to find the appropriate words to share with you. I would encourage you, however, to pursue your battle by focusing on tasks, procedures, and emotions harmful to unhealthy cells in the body. We doctors have a tendency to want to “kill” cancer. We poison it, radiate it or surgically remove it from the body. We bypass approaches that utilize the body’s innate strengths to overcome imbalances. This, in my opinion, is a big mistake. Cancer cells are very different than healthy cells. They metabolize energy differently and thrive in an anaerobic environment where healthy cells seek oxygen to thrive. Creating an “unfriendly” environment within the body to cancer cells while STRENGTHENING and SUPPORTING healthy cell function is an important component in reversing the imbalance that cancer causes.
I would encourage you to find professionals with EXPERIENCE to seek therapies that focus on appropriate levels of detoxification while supporting immune function that is commonly devastated during conventional cancer treatments. This approach reduces the “collateral” damage we typically see using conventional therapies. There are many different protocols that include BOTH the physical and emotional components that often impede the progress you seek in overcoming this battle you face.
You may want to listen to the doctors and patients interviewed in Ty Bollinger’s series (The Truth About Cancer.) This series provides doctors with clinical experience treating cancer using some conventional and some complimentary forms to address the body’s needs rather than focusing on “killing” the disease regardless of collateral damage.
There is no one right method to approach this disease. Educating oneself to the various approaches helps the individual determine the best approach for his or her individual case.
I wish you all the best on your journey to achieving the LIFE you desire!
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Good morning, great to hear from you, your comment is well received and appreciated. I am in Ty Bollingers email, and have looked into his theories and findings. I have found it interesting and encouraging whist discouraging aswell. In that I have had treatment, including a BMT and am left with this awful pain.
However I am greatful for life, for being able to live each day where cancer would have taken me without it. Life’s a gift isn’t it Doctor.
I hope you have an awesome Christmas and break. God bless you and your family.
In kindness Mark
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Agreed. Treatments (whether natural or traditional) are not necessarily “pleasant” and without negative impact.
I do believe life is a gift and provides opportunities many are blinded to. Disease sometimes alters the paths we can follow, but paths still exist nonetheless. It is up to the individual to decide and seek opportunities even if they don’t necessarily mirror optimal desires. We can choose to define life by our disease and its prognosis, or search for more to find a level of peace, contentment and purpose. There is no right or wrong answer to this, but the latter is more likely to add quality to one’s life.
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Very beautiful content and nice photos as well. Thank you so much for liking one of my post though. 🙂
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It was because I felt it worthy and shall be visiting again. 😊👍🏼
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Indeed, keep the great work up, it is really worthy to read, as i will set up an eye into your posts.🙂
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How do you do that please?
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Thank you so much for you concern about that, i am actually a muslim, in our holy book ” Quran” encourages us to move forward, in spite of all obstacles, nothing gunna stay permanently, life sometimes sweet and other times is bitter, we have to accept everything, as long as it makes stronger when shifting to next level, in addition! We have to take obstacles as positive conditions, as it will be good tool to avoid it next time, and consolidate our happiness, our believe that our passenger Mohammad peace be upon him had passed in tough times, although he had been patient for the sake of his nation to live in peace later on. Finally, nothing gunna stay permanently, it is sort of like an exam given to us in life to improve our life, and conclude nothing is easy to be achieved, hard and falling in troubles will make us move on to better and it could be counted like bliss, if we need to shift negative thoughts to positive one. I have a lot of things to share it with you, but i guess i have to stop here to prevent this comment from getting too long. And end it by thanking you for this question. 🙂
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Hi Hussein, our beliefs are very similar. Although I am a Christian. I watched a program last night on Ethiopia. How the Christians and Muslims believe the water to cleanse them of impurities. Anything you want to share please do. I love to know what makes people tick, I believe if you can’t feel it within then it’s not real. God bless you. 🙂
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Hi Fonzandancer, bless you too!!
I believe that too, that water cleanse impurities, as i believe too that the bible is one of the divine books, as you have we have common features for both religions, but i don’t know why there are still people violate the what was written in the bible for example drinking beers-alcoholics’ drinks. It is not allowed to be drunk in the bible. I promise you that gunna share you with a lot of amazing stuff, but i will be arranging it as a post to post it in my blog very soon. I think, this topic is very important for engaging it with others to let them know about it. Thank you so much for you caring, sir! Wish you the best. 🙂
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Sorry for grammar mistakes that i made it here in the latest comment, i think later to be careful while writing my comments. But hope you got what i meant anyway😊
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Grammar is not as important as the heart from which it came. I have gained in confidence and I believe my grammar is better than when I started. Content is THE most important though. Re the no alcoholic drinks. When Jesus changed the water into wine. One of Jesus disciples asked why the best wine was left to the last. This proves they drank wine. But Jesus said. Do not get DRUNK on wine, instead be filled with the spirit. It’s not drinking that’s the problem. Just how much. Peace.
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