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BBC, cancer, desire, encouragement, hope, mo, motivation, personality, survived, together
I can honestly say if I knew life would be like this that I would not have had a transplant at all. I have been patient and although the doctors said I will be better after a 2 year period. I am not. Everyday I do my very best to be upbeat and helpful and encouraging to people. Yet I am sat here feeling sad with a lump in my throat. It feels unfair to go through so much and to give with your whole heart yet still feel like this. I know for sure other people will feel the same way but are afraid to be honest. Well I am if one thing, not afraid, everyday I stand when my body says no, everyday I smile when my body says cry. But some days like today, I have to allow myself the honesty to myself. Everyday I do my best yo lift others, but it’s not possible when I can’t (yup I said it) even lift myself. My spirit is torn and my mind wonders how long I can carry on feeling like this. I keep myself busy so as the pain depletes, you can’t feel pain whilst focused on something else.
Well pain, today you win. You have dragged me to the depths I did not feel possible. I have very strong pain killers, OxyContin and gabapentin. Sometimes I need two of each just to complete a day. What people’s opinions of me don’t seem to matter anymore. My dignity has been taken and another’s opinion has near no effect on me these days. What did I have the transplant for? To render me unable, to make me depressed. Well I fight both of those each day, aside of that encouraging others that they can as well. Because if I can you can right.
Yet although my honesty is unrivalled here, I still have a small smoulder that needs fanning to make the fire. So now even though all is seemingly against me! I will look for positives where I am unable to see. Not even the birds sing today, but like Job. I will rejoice anyway, I will say thank you for what has been given to me. Life where I should have non, warmth that I should not feel. Acceptance of what has been taken away and gratefulness for what I still have. This is a true battle today, one I must be grateful to have. Because without a battle, how can you win. Giving up means defeat, slumping because of the torment of pain. But NO I will not, I will win the battle and understand one day why it had to be won. Today I have the victory, because Jesus paid the price.
So with a thankful heart, and a grateful soul. I say thank you lord for the prickles, because without the prickles there would be no blackberries.
I hope you win your battle today to.
Smile at someone, you could help them find some sunshine.
Fonz
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Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)
It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.
Everything you read are better based on my own experipence and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Pleapse share with others, if it meant something tou you it owill to someone
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fonzandcancer blogging to encourage. 
I’m so sorry for all you have to endure. Thank you for being so transparent. It makes many of us feel less alone. Though I don’t have it as bad as you do, I do have a chronic lung disease, and I know how discouraging some days can be. Like you, I try to seek for the beauty in each day. These words especially comfort me – “I say thank you lord for the prickles, because without the prickles there would be no blackberries.” So true! I am learning that it’s through the deepest valleys that Jesus leads us more into His love for us and equips us to pass that love on to others. Have a Hope-Filled Christmas and beyond, full of God’s sufficient grace!
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You just made me well up, that’s due to my one hope. That my posts encourage one person per day. I have just asked the lord to ease your suffering and to bless you abundantly. Let me know the blessings you receive. Because you will. Live in Jesus. 😍
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Your blogs are inspiring! I hope it gets easier for you 🙂
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That’s very kind thank you.
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Your courage and fortitude shows through these trials. I can only guess at your pain and the way this impacts upon you. That you are able to put honest words upon a blog is a testament to your resilience.
God Bless you and yours, this season and always.
Roger
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You say what you feel , frankly and this is eases you and is precious for the readers to know the truth.
I wish sincerely for you an improvement of your state of health
In friendship
Michel
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Thanks Michel, no one can argue with actual feelings. Suffering can be overcome, the mind is a powerful place. However. It is real. Thank you
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I hope it gets better for you. We have taken in a friend of ours who is homeless due to a recent, ongoing, bitter divorce. She teaches me to be grateful for what I have; sometimes we all need gentle reminders.
Thank you for sharing your struggles with us.
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It’s all I know, to write. To tell people they are not alone in how they feel. So many men, suffer in silence and it leads to destruction. A long time ago I believed my hands purpose were to destroy things. I was full of anger I was bitter and for sure I believed lies. I believed I would never be anything. Then a miracle happened, I made something. I made it from discarded matchsticks. I read 1 Corinthians 13 a verse at a time every time I glued a row on. I learned that love was gentle and kind, long suffering and patient. I had non of the things I read about in my life, but learned that love came by listening, being patient and kind and being a good person. That I would only gain enemies by my destructive behaviour. You use the word gentle. I wish the pain would be gentle to me, but the pain is a result of survival. When we survive, it hurts. Your friend is surviving and in massive distress and pain. You see it as gentle, I bet she wishes that how she feels would be gentle to her. Indeed a good family and good friends are wonderful. Something you worked at, because you learned what love is. Louise, please send my love to your friend and tell her she can message me anytime. Bless you my friend and thank you. 😊👍🏼
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God bless you and ease your pain. My smile for you 😀
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Thanks Walt my kind friend. 😊👍🏼
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You’re very welcome 😃
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Reblogged this on rimaalalamy.
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No one ever would prepare you well for your retirement. Diabetes and blood pressure was on the top of my concern. These two run in the family. Never ever I was prepared to receive “you have cancer”. From that moment, I moved to the twilight zone and allowed my family to take control of me. I just found myself two weeks later under the effect of chemo. Had I known or had I been in my full senses I would opted for full removal: mastectomy. After eight sessions, I had lumpectomy and struggling with the outcome. I am still receiving the Herceptin-treatment continues till April, and still battling with the side effects. the fear I carry each day for the possibility of its recurrence can’t be swept away.
All I want to say that during my journey and when my body could not support me I was retiring to your words that kept me sane, and gave me hope for a better days to come. You were the torch in this path.
In the end: “Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength.” — Corrie Ten Boom
I wish you well, Dear Friend.
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It’s good to hear from you again, and to be reminded that you gained strength from words written here.
It is after all the reason I wrote, to encourage someone (oh the irony)
Thank you for the reminder, it means so much.
It’s ok NOT to be brave sometimes, and ok to need something from the planet other than family.
Please write to me any time in my email. I will answer, or text me.
Thank you and I am hear for you when ever you need me, cancer is a thief. But kindness is the most special of gifts in life.
In kindness always my friend.
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I think sometimes we put a pressure extra on sick people to push them to be heroes or winners, like this was a neverending battle or a fight, a competition against the illness. And they have enough to bear the terrible effects of the medication. Fonzi, you deserve that people let you rest and take a break to heal yourself. Your energy is for your healing and we want you to get a good health. Forza amico!
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Truly Gracias, from the bottom of my heart. 😊
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Your photos tell the story. You are an artist as well as a writer. You do very definitely inspire people and give them courage.
May the holidays bring you peace, joy, and strength. Your posts tell me that although the battle is slow, you are better than you were. Paula
Paula paulapederson.com *Facebook.com/MysteriousBuilder *
On Mon, Dec 18, 2017 at 7:39 AM, fonzandcancer blogging to encourage. wrote:
> fonzandcancer posted: “I can honestly say if I knew life would be like > this that I would not have had a transplant at all. I have been patient and > although the doctors said I will be better after a 2 year period. I am not. > Everyday I do my very best to be upbeat and helpful and” >
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Thanks for sharing Paula😊👍
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