How’s your Christmas been? Have you had a good New Years celebrations? It’s not all been good for us, although we have been reminded what’s truly important for our health. Today I have found myself feeling low, due to my expectations. As I drove back from my shopping trip yesterday I found myself depressed at the situation. As what I hoped for had not met my expectations. You see I am the type of person that wants to give, a person that wants to provide and encourage people to enjoy what they do with us. I was driving slowly, well below the speed limit as it’s not good for me to drive to my mood despite the power of the car I drive.
As I drove I found myself praying, that possibly I might find some answers as the day went on. It’s surprising where answers come from in our lives, that when we need them and ask for them they do indeed come. M
My last blog post was about having higher standards, that something may have been right at a certain point in time, but that there is nothing wrong with having a higher standard in the future. We have lived in places close to the city in the past, noisy neighbours are one of my pet hates. People that do things without a thought for other people, yet I have had to question my standards. That maybe I am being to fussy or possibly petty about certain things. That possibly I should lower my standards, that people’s reactions or attitudes are not mine, and just because someone decides to behave in a certain way. How could I stop that from annoying me so much. Why would I even let someone else’s actions affect my life, this was my prayer that I would find a way to overcome others actions and for it not to affect me, or possibly infect my own standards.
It does not matter where you live on this planet, unless your budget is multi millions of pounds, you will always have a compromise. But how do you stop that from annoying you and affecting your state of mind. I don’t know about the rest of the world only how I feel and how I respond to things. You see, I have a do mentality. Not a do later mentality. I have been called ‘the dream maker’ before now. Because for sure I love, oh so dearly love to make people happy. But not so much feel happy but to make them feel like their dream has been fulfilled.
Yet I found myself upset, a consequence it would seem of me having a certain standard.
I put my shopping down on the side and our friend who always comes on a Friday; asked if I was ok. I could not say yes and explained how I was feeling and how frustrated I felt. That I could not shake how I felt off. I was shocked at her response. “I was in cloud cookoo land she said. No one will live up to your standards, no one one in life should expect someone to. Instead we should just love what someone chooses to be. Unconditional love you might think, otherwise known as ‘Agape’
To accept what I can’t control is a new way of living for me, it’s different and requires change on my part. My blog that your reading has always been there to encourage others, yet I find myself every time I write being encouraged myself. But this post is particularly life changing. Because it means acceptance, acceptance of a situation and another’s actions.
People think I am the black sheep of our family, and possibly even a scape goat. But that’s not my fault, what is my fault is not accepting what I cannot change. I have found myself trying to change opinions, instead of accepting what people do. It’s caused me great turmoil in my life but for sure feel that my new way I will now learn of acceptance, and not trying to change what’s outside of my control will give me peace. Rest and possibly even lower my stress levels. Perhaps even lengthening my life. It makes me wonder how many other parts of my life I will be able to introduce this into. After all my dogs just accept me, they love me for who I am. They don’t want me to change, but I wonder if they would have a better life living a life of acceptance.
“Be the person your dog thinks you are”
Jesus loves us just the way we are, but to much to let us stay that way. Do you love yourself enough to change the way you deal with things in your mind. I know I do, and I am very pleased I have a friend that feels she can be honest with me.
Because from now on, I will accept what I cannot change. I will love where I can, and if people don’t like my honesty it’s quite obviously their problem and not mine. I am from now on accept another’s opinion, and not try to change it. Why is it important for people to see my point of view anyway. Others around us will only be happy when they accept what someone else chooses to do. Even if that is unforgiveness. Acceptance is part of loving, where it says in 1 Corinthians 13 about what love is. “Bearing no record of wrong” as a parent you have far more responsibilities in this area. So now it’s time to move on, leave the judgments behind and accept that we can’t change other people’s choices only our own. Acceptance means a willingness to accept a difficult situation that you are unable to change. What’s the point in trying to change what is not your choice.
It feels liberating!
Have a great weekend
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