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Fighting for love, means it’s not love.

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It’s funny how a memory can trigger so much of your past. How people act or even a film! We don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day, but we do love each day together, now don’t think we have the perfect Hollywood relation. What we do have is something that many people never find in life.
 My mum and dads look at each other is Valentine’s Day every day for them. Then I think of the sand storms , the snow, the rain, the potholes in the road we have faced and then remember my wife. I say in my mind ” thank you father ” you allowed this part of my life. Some people have stopped visiting, but they dont love us less. They just have a life to live to. 

Love you guys

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Ps, I have committed to doing this for 365 days every morning, what I ask of you is that you share these blogs I make on email, facebook twitter, you can affect people by pressing a button. Please do that. I asked ppl to share yesterday 18/05/2015 at 8pm they did and 100 people saw my blogs in 2 hours. It only takes a click or two.

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them hereby to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something tou you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

Copyright ©2017

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Lion heart

This blog rekindled so much, the strength required to beat a desease is imesurable. Reach out to someone that needs some love today, it’s not about them deserving it it’s about them needing you. Only you can do what you do. Choose to be a lion not a victim.

fonzandcancer blogging to encourage.

Good morning, although this blog will only just go out in the am due to my body needing so much sleep last night. The more I do the more I sleep, and I am not talking walking we are just talking menial tasks that seem to tire me out beyond comprehension.

So Lions, personally I would watch a wild life programme on Lions over most things. What I love about a Lion is their strength and power. But what I love most is their ability to be gentle with each other. I love to see people with quite obvious strength, using their sensitivity and intelligence as apposed to the power and strength they have in their arm.

This picture says it all to me, a huge power house of a Lion with his paws around his cub. It’s a picture I can look at, and I get allot out of…

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My TVR and me.

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MY TVR AND ME.

When I bought my TVR, was when someone said I may have cancer and that my life would be compromised because of if. I laugh because I felt fine, no pain what so ever. Just this growing lump in my neck that had gone misdiagnosed for so long. When I first drove my new car and went over the first bump. I realised it was going to need some work, rear shocks were desperately needed and many other jobs were required also. Little did I realise that me and Trev. I call him that because Trevor was the guy that invented TVR. Every car is different, not one curve is the same. There are even some funny stories about how the Chimaea shape, mine became the shape it was. It’s reported that whilst in clay, being shaped by the designer who had his dog with him one day took a chunk out of the bumper next to the indicator. That’s why all Chimareas have two curves next to the indicators. Which are themselves from a Sherman tank. 


I didn’t realise just how similar our journeys were going to be, mine and Trevor’s. Whilst in hospital having my transplant, my friend took the interior out for me and another friend took the interior and sprayed it. Bringing it back to new. This happened whilst I was undergoing my transplant. 

I looked like this.


And Trevor looked like this.


At the same time we were both getting a new beginning, becoming renewed. The only difference between me and the people working on my car. Was that I had a chance of not making it, I know I did and am also getting stronger even though pain is so hard to deal with. I am here to write these blogs. I was encouraged today by another TVR owner that my posts to my blog were inspiring. It gave me a sense of achievement that because of cancer I owned a TVR and because of that connection she got to read my blog. It’s kinda time to thank cancer again isn’t it.  Cancer maybe cruel and things may perish and need repair. But we are far more fragile than any piece of machinery. Whilst we are living longer and medicine is helping to sustain life. Machines are able to be fixed forever should the owner wish for that to happen. 

Everything I put on my car is the best, Bilstien shocks. Updated engine, powder coated struts. It’s all been done right, of course at a cost. But no cost is greater than to put your life on the line is it. Unless you have a passion for something, even if that’s your faith. You will not understand what I am saying. Your are delicate, controlled by a few degrees in temperature higher or lower than should be, your life will cease. It’s the same with my car, except my car is nuts and bolts to most. To me my car is so much more.

You see, a brain is only able to do so much at the same time. Whilst a person is being distracted, a person does not feel the pain. Oh it’s there alright, but your brain is distracted from it. Yesterday I managed to make it to pain clinic, someone had brought in his Samsung VR. You have seen the advert that the Dad records the concert so his daughter can see what he saw.  People that used the VR whilst using it were distracted from their pain. It was still there but the brain was not sending the signal, because to many other things were going on that the brain was otherwise engage. That’s what my TVR does for me, it distracts me from the real world. The world and its treatments have damaged me forever. But driving my car helps me to be distracted from what I am feeling inside. If I try to remember how much pain I was in when driving and I can never remember any at all. Of course I am not saying everyone needs to go out and buy a TVR, or VR system to enable a pain free period. But what I am saying is that, a distraction can help . Only you know what you love, only you know what’s great for you. But what ever you do, make sure you do something that distracts you from the real world. Here are some pics of what my car looks like now and how I look today.

And me.


I guess it’s up to us to do again, or do nothing. For sure when we do nothing it will be more painful, because our brains are not stimulated. So there you go my blog inspired by a TVR called Kate, one called Trevor. Not forgetting Julie.

Let me know if you got something out of this blog.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them hereby to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something tou you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

Copyright ©2017

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To love another, is truly a gift.

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To love another, is truly a gift.

So tonight, I watched a Facebook live that I was supposed to watch. I listened as the person spoke how they together had done, achievements together and fulfilled dreams together. I heard how two people worked together to achieve a goal, a common goal. A goal they both agreed on, overcoming what ever they faced by working together..

As I thought tonight about what’s important in life, my need to contribute in our family as we draw to the end of making our house a home. To contribute in other ways, more financially maybe. But most certainly whilst these thoughts went though my mind, I realised the one thing that I was greatful for. Thankful to God for apart from life itself, was that I had been given the gift of love from another. We are approaching our 14th year together, I love my wife more today than ever I did, although on times you would not think it. 


Who ever you are, what ever the choices you have made. If you have loved and lost, you had a gift. Your friends, the people that have or indeed still do care about you are a gift. God has given you gifts, yet you don’t see them anymore because of what you are going through. Well I want to encourage you, no matter what you face, and I know what it’s like to look in my wife’s eyes and hold her hand and cry a tear as I fight cancer, and she fights with me. The love of another is a gift, you can choose to cherish that. Or you can choose to let the circumstances get in the way of that. Oh God forgive me for forgetting that sometimes, forgive me for forgetting the moments we stood together no matter what.

That it’s not about what we have, but that we do it together. It’s not whose name is on the pay cheque or who did what, but that we did it together. So tonight I find myself in a grateful position, grateful once again that there is a we. That the gift I asked God for is right there in the people that love me. That when you move forwards that you only need to look down or to the side to see who’s holding your hand or standing with you. 

Don’t let your circumstances be an excuse not to, let your circumstances give you a reason to do. We all have circumstances, we all have gifts also.choose to walk with those that are with you. Don’t be dragged down by the weight of your circumstance.

You matter

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them hereby to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something tou you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

Copyright ©2017

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More.

MORE
What’s that mean to you? I guess you thinking money right? Or things right. Well for me, it’s more freedom. You know what I am sick to death of seeing my wife working a 14 hour day. I am sick of pain. So I need more of what will rid my life of those things. I am sick of being tired. In fact I am tired of being tired. Tonight I was laid on the floor after two long days doing in our home and learning about things. My dog being pregnant, her reactions being up all night with her so she knows I am with her to. People say dont they, “ask a busy man to get it done, and it will be done.”  Ask a lazy man for a simple solution and he will find it. 


Guys, I am gonna live my last 40 something year this year. They (the doctors) say I need 2 years to be ready for work again from my bone marrow transplant May 2015. Well I am ready, the pain in my body makes me think I am not ready. Tonight I had a tearful moment as I realised people don’t have the after affects of cancer but still feel life’s crap. That makes me sad and I wanna help you. So this week I am going to buy some products and I will give them away. Those products will help in our lives, hopefully you have never experienced pain from treatment and if you try it out you will get the full benefit of what this company has to offer. 

Tell you what, if you want to know how to thrive ask me? Message me and I will answer what you need to know but what I do know is. There is a solution, and I believe in it. 

Well it’s time for bed and I am just starting to thrive. All I gotta say is, thanks cancer, coz without you I would never thrive.

Have a great day
Fonz.

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them hereby to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something tou you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

Copyright © 2017
Learn how to be a healthier you. Lose some weight and help others to be fitter, and earn as you burn and others earn as they burn to. But first ya gotta learn.

https://fonzandcancer.le-vel.com

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When do you know someone cares about you?

They put you first.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them hereby to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something tou you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

Copyright © 2017
Learn how to be a healthier you. Lose some weight and help others to be fitter, and earn as you burn and others earn as they burn to. But first ya gotta learn.

https://fonzandcancer.le-vel.com

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If it is to be, it’s up to me! 

If it is to be, it’s up to me


Hi Guys, many of you that are faithful readers of all of my posts some 500 in not quite 2 years. Have watched the transformation of my life. My life and all those around me who have been with me on my journey, prayed that I would make it to the other side. So many times on that journey both me and my wife had had to make changes. Life choices to choose life and to really work hard at that just to have a life. Sometimes on that journey I wanted to give in, to throw in the towel to let go and let be. But even that was up to me wasn’t it. It’s up to you to. Throughout my life, and indeed whilst haveing life with cancer and fighting it. I have been met with choices, one of those is to decide that I will not take negative people with me into my future. I want yes people, get up and get done people. People that say do even though they are not feeling able. 


I love people, I love communicating with people, but what I have also found is the key to success. The absolute 100% most definitive way to live life. 

Most recently in fact day’s ago I met someone who was constantly working and working and working with no reward, other people I met due to that chance meeting were also of the same ilk with one common denomination. Being determined to do well for themselves. Nothing wrong with that you think? You know what everything is wrong with that. There is nothing right with that. Nothing right withnthat at all, oh except for that person of course.


I was faced with these 2 options 25 months ago. Live the rest of my life with cancer, or face a 1 in 4 chance of losing my life whilst beating it. Now I can tell you I had faced cancer before, and won. But I did that for me, I still smoked I still drank what I wanted, when I wanted and never even looked at my lifestyle at all. I mean the doctor said there was no indication it was caused by any of these things I did so why stop right? Of course I got cancer again and your reading about it, or have read about it before. Two weeks before I was diagnosed with cancer again I decided I was going to affect the world with positivity. To share with people that they can where they feel they are not able, not knowing I would indeed have to fight again two weeks later. That’s when I opened our cancer stories group to help other people on the planet who face cancer, and may have no where to turn. 

When I was faced with those two options in my life, I set about asking the very most important people in my life what they thought I should choose. My wife, my parents, my closest friends, my brother, sister. All of them thought it was better to fight and that they would be there for me when ever I needed them in my fight. You see that’s it isn’t it, why we do. Don’t we find when we have children (we don’t) that there is a reason to work. That having a dog gives a reason to walk in the rain. Is it not the same in our lives, without any of these insentives? That our lives should be about putting your arm around someone and saying ” you can and I am here for you” is it that that makes our lives worth living. 


The BIBLE (Basic Instruction Before Leaving Earth) Jesus talks about us being brothers and sisters. So helping each other, is that not what we are put on the earth to do. Will there be satisfaction in a job or work we do if it does not involve helping others to achieve. To dedicate your lives to doing just that, helping some one else. Well thats why I started my blog. To help one person everytine I posted. To encourage someone that they can and motivate them to be. You are what ever you say you are, and for sure anyone that says they can’t are actually perfectly right. I can’t argue with that, you say you can’t. Your right. But can’t you see if you take,  the T out of can’t  you CAN.

Adopt the “If it’s to be,it’s up to me” mentality. 


The point of this blog is to help you be a better you, I want to dedicate a part of my life to help you to say that sentence. I am only interested in people that want to put their arms around others and help them forwards though. If you want it for you. It’s best NOT to click the link at the bottom of this blog. But by helping others in turn your life will flourish, even though you did it for other people, you life will be filled with goodness. You doing for you? Or you doing for others. Think of all the successful people that run a business, all of those that I think of that are successful do one thing. They help others.

Have a great day.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them hereby to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant soumething tou you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

Copyright © 2017
Learn how to be a healthier you. Lose some weight and help others to be fitter, and earn as you burn and others earn as they burn to. But first ya gotta learn.

https://fonzandcancer.le-vel.com

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Faiths puppy journey.

Faiths Puppy journey.

What does every body think 5 weeks and 1 day in? Although she’s not really showing to me, she’s definitely put on weight. She will be wormed in 2 weeks. From 7 weeks onwards the magic will start to happen. We already have 5 potential homes without to much effort. We are without doubt looking for caring loving homes for these puppies. We are looking for people to accept their puppies on their journey called life.


One sentence that rings true with me is.
A dog is there for part of your life, but you are their whole life. 

Here are some pictures of her in her life with us.

Faith loves a ride out in the TVR.

She didn’t eat the chocolate. Dogs get sick from chocolate.

Looking majestic on our lawn.

Faith captain of the boat.

Faith in my brothers amazing garden


Our dog is fortunate enough to be able to exercise in the garden as well as going for walks. Me and faith have a wonderful connection, she only needs to move in a certain way for me to know she needs some love, a walk, a feed, water, what ever her needs are we just know. But in the same way she knows what I need to, during my cancer journey. She comforts me in times I find hard, she even hugs me. She knows when I need her it’s a true relationship. For me I would rather bring up the pups myself, than to gain financial reward for a precious puppy that our faith has brought into the world. But to know the puppies are going to a safe home is amazing, and also hope that each person who is involved in the pups lives will post their journeys on here so we can see their progress. 
Do you know if I did not have cancer, maybe faith would not be in our lives. Which in turn means that the puppies that are homed would not have had the futures they have. Wonderful this journey we call life isn’t it. Please share – even if you don’t want a puppy maybe you will play your own part in showing the possibility of their lives being enhanced by a wonderful companion like we have in our Faith. 
Just think just by a share you could help change someone’s lives. Have a great day. 
Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them hereby to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant soumething tou you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

Copyright © 2016

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What’s extraordinary anyway.

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What’s extraordinary anyway.

I was reminded on a phone call tonight, something very poinient. Something that all to many people do in their lives that stops them from being successful. I am married to a winner, my marriage is to someone who likes to say Yes. Extraordinary people tend to do one thing that makes them just that. Do you know what that is? They help people. Now I am not talking about helping them to get up a hill when they don’t want to. (Energy is wasted pulling donkeys uphill) You see how can you hold another’s hand unless they reach out theirs. People that hold out their hands are either helping or being helped, and what you do will always remain your choice. How you see yourself is who you will be, and who you won’t be also. 


The people in this world that help others in my mind, are the ones that are extraordinary. They are the people that make things happen, they are the ones on the phone helping others. When I started this blog, I hoped that one person would be encouraged to carry on. That one person would find the strength within them to get back up and move forwards once again. For sure cancer has helped me to mature, it’s helped me to see the world in a perspective that maybe I never asked for. Someone sat in front of me and told me I had cancer, and I chose how to respond to that. Cancer or indeed any battle in life, makes you who you are today. Even the word can’t makes you into something.

Some of my posts are very dark, even life itself seemingly impossible at times. Thoughts of giving up, throwing in the towel and times on my knees with tears rolling down my face. But yet all those times made me into the man I am today, the man that wants to hold out his hand and help others in their very own battles. My heart is to help those that want to help themselves. My heart is to stand with those that want to stand and maybe feel they can’t. It’s not a word I use often but I know others do say it. Which kinda brings me to the end of this very short post.


Those that are extraordinary, always move forwards. They find solutions, where others see problems. They say yes where others say can’t. Because of course you are right, if you say you can’t you can’t. Those that give reasons to do rather than excuses not to help people. Choose to say can’t, you are exactly right.

What will you choose?

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them hereby to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant soumething tou you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

Copyright © 2016

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Trapped.

Trapped.

I know some people may think “oh no not again” but I am sorry. My rule is that one person gets something from what I write. I have had a lot of codine today to get through it, to even do something. Someone said to me today ” most people would have not left the house today, so your way ahead of them”  kind they took the time to say that to me. Even so, I just feel as though my very own body is my prison, a place I take with me where ever I go. Location does not help, pain killers dull it for a period but are for sure no cure. It’s upsetting in life that people don’t, and can’t understand how debilitating pain is. Not even my wife understands, and if you meet someone that does. The pain is still there, it’s starting to wear me down to the point where I would rather be without any pain what so ever. To just leave the world so to speak, the cliff I jump off at the Gower pernicular (Swansea) has my 90’s stereo next to me playing.

Sometimes I just want to take off, say goodbye to what earth has to offer. I do know however that I made some differance with the life I have right now. That I helped some people along the way, but I am not feeling like there is a point to a life of pain. The song says everything I feel in real life. I remember sitting on that cliff some years ago, it was sunny and there were ships in the distance. I think about that day a lot, I thank God even sometimes that I never jumped. That I resisted being so fucking selfish. Oh yes this is honest, because I am high as a kite on codine. Taken just to be able to do something, trapped in a body of pain. Knowing there is nothing anyone can do, so every time I stand up from my seated position and look down (I have vertigo) see the splashing sea. For a moment I have peace as I feel myself in flight towards the rocks below. But then turn and walk the other way. 

It’s funny the view when you have walked 40 metres or so. You just see sea and ships in the distance, and you could almost fly if you wanted to. Whilst my honesty in my blogs others may feel, some people actually frequented nut houses for revealing such thoughts they had. Making a differance in life, it’s gotta be worth it right. Otherwise what’s the point, all I know is I am not able to escape. I know that room was bad, not being able to leave for a few weeks. Having the very drugs that give me my pain I feel today. Well I am sick of it, sick of having to have the pain killers. I want out and I want to stop the feeling of sinking, the feeling of drowning in myself. I am stumbling around in my mind, finding something to rest on all the time, they tell me it’s gonna get worse. That I will be in a wheelchair, that I won’t be able to. 

  https://youtu.be/HwT-NV0hFP0

Well listen to the words of this song if you feel like I do. Your still breathing, and even though I and even you maybe close to the edge. We have the gift of lives, I have learned a lot in the last year or two. But one thing I know is that you and I are connected. We are connected in this web called life, you can choose to be or not to be. Ultimutley whilst we still have a breath to take we can still make a differance. It’s us that chooses to live, and whilst I know it’s on the edge and will be till the last breath I take, I will carry on. I must. Tonight should be my last but I will choose to carry on. Pain or no pain, sometimes I cut myself, and don’t feel a thing. I wonder what fire would be like to walk through, to feel that pain, maybe the pain inside my body would disappear. 

I don’t know if you understand any of what I am saying here, maybe you think I am nuts. (Your right) but one thing I have to do is get up again tomorrow and choose to breath again. Today was a bad day, people did not get me and never had a chance to before the delete button was pressed. That’s another blog. For now I leave you  with this, use your senses to live, use them to appreciate what’s around you, who. To those that I have loved, I remember you. To those I do love, I am doing this for you. Putting my feet forwards because you matter, life’s crazy and can make you that way to. You will never ever be the same again,  these blogs I have written are here for ever. Do something that’s here forever, switch off that television set and find something more interesting to do.

 

Most of my life I have been misunderstood, I have only just really started to not care. What were they doing trying to understand me anyway. 

Keep breathing

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them hereby to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant soumething tou you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

Copyright © 2016

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The walk, that wasn’t a walk walk. 

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The walk, that wasn’t a walk walk. 

In life sometimes we just have to accept who we are, and who we are not. When you have had the battles that cancer fighters have even a small achievement is better than no achievment what so ever. So today my challenge having arrived at 11.29 at a walk that set off at 11-20 was to play catch up. Me and faith were keen, faith (my lab) was excited. She does this whining when she is excited, she jumps up and down, with her tongue out. Even though I sent her on ahead, to follow the trail ( I made her smell the car of one of the walkers) she led the way for me but never let me out of her sight, it was to amount to nothing however. So why am I blogging about this, well it’s because when you are faced with cancer you place goals in your mind. You hope that one day just one day that there may be some level of the normality that once was. I personally hoped to make new friends and to befriend people with new perspectives. You see, when someone (anyone) gets cancer. People show true colours they tend to not understand what you face and that has a result of loneliness. People show you how much you mean to them by the actions they make towards you. The commitment some people show towards you in your time of need is humbling. But there are not many that stay by your side, most don’t understand and leave you to deal with it alone. 

I remember being in that room imagining the very walk I endeavoured to do today, you know uphill with running streams and fallen trees and wildlife although I never envisaged cows. But there were.

I was hopeful I could take some great shots today and make some memories, to get better at using my IPhone whilst enjoying other people’s company.  Now those that know me know I have a lot of pain killers and today I took 90mg of codine to enable me to be able to walk. I had food and water and was prepared for a walk. I was told it was an easy walk and I would have no problem. However the night before my friend (he’s the type of friend that carlsberg would make) if they made friends. He told me it would be to much, the lakes is for seasoned walkers he said. Of course I am a beginner in every sense. As I moved forwards as fast as I could I slipped and fell and hit my head, fortunately I was wearing my trappers hat. I realised right there and then, the condition of my body is such that things like this are beyond me. I sat on a stone and knew that I had higher expectations of myself than were actually possible. It filled me with sadness and I don’t mind saying I even shed a tear as I sat there. Faiths head on my lap, even her eyes said “Dad its to soon” 

It was with regret that I turned around and began to face what I had not allowed myself to do before. Accept I was not able, and whilst I had been wildly eager and went against all the advice of all the people that know and love me. I then had to accept that I needed to do lesser walks. Steep slopes are not within my capabilities, with a lump in my treat I headed home. No phones were in service and hope was gone.

As I walked back I took a couple of pictures to remember where I had been. 

 

Some of you know I love pictures and that they speak to me, this photo speaks of life. That this little river I was stood in was going somewhere else to where the walkers were going. It was somewhere different to where the walkers were going where it flowed to and maybe my path although different. Would still have a meaning somewhere, I didn’t give up I got there, me and faith shared time together and whilst I feel like I have failed in some way, we did get onto the hill. 

So what’s the punch line, well it’s this.


” what ever you think in your mind, where ever that is. Remember that just because it does not end up how you imagined, that does not mean you failed at something. It’s just different. ” our paths even though we choose them, don’t always end up the way we had planned. But what’s important is that we have a goal, and in doing something you will achieve something. I mean this blog for a start, will be written forever and will encourage someone somewhere. That’s because today did not go to what I had planned. So already there is something positive. You just read it.

Have a great day
Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

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Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them hereby to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something tou you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

Copyright © 2016

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Royal Liverpool, bone marrow transplant. (How I coped)

In the space of a 12 hours I have been asked to write about how I felt, what it was like to have a bone marrow transplant. What procedures were like Twice, I guess not from a horror story perspecti…

Source: Royal Liverpool, bone marrow transplant. (How I coped)

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My story

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My names Mark, Fonz to my friends. My story isn’t a A heart wrenching one or anything, it’s just my life. A life I never expected to live. I always had plans to be a dad some day, but with the right girl. The girl that made me quiver, the girl that loved me for me. I was not especially good looking normal I guess, mr average although not in all departments. I always thought I would be a high achiever. Live in an above average house, not that the house was big, just that it would be full of love. One song I can’t forget was ‘feel’ by Robbie Williams. 

I always dreamt of feeling the feeling of love in the home that we live in.  My first marriage was born out of hate, a bomb in Ireland my girlfriend bk than was stood 10 feet from the bomb when it blew. We married and love was born out of a tragic bomb that affects people’s lives today and will forever. Married life failed. Back then I wanted to end the hopes and dreams, I felt as though I should die . Leave you all behind as it were. I decided to travel instead to look for my Mrs right. To have some fun whilst doing it, I drank to forget. When I drank I was numb,numbed by the alcohol. I lived and did things I loved. Went to Sydney on New Year’s Eve, Brisbane at Christmas. Travelled New Zealand. Along the way I turned down life long dreams. Swimming with dolphins, seeing a glacier, many things that I wanted to do with a true love. I did go to an F1 grad prix in Melbourne though and came home soon after. Tears rolled as I flew back to GB.

I moved to Manchester. Where I met some amazing people, but one I met in the most unlikely of places on the most unlikely night. A night out with a friend, a different pub and there she was. Blonde hair, the most amazing smile and sourounded by men. I whispered in her ear ( I will be back when your boy friend is gone) I then flicked her hair into her face.  That was the start of our lives together, the girl I had gone around the world looking for was there. You know, the one that makes your heart melt. The one that’s for you. 

We worked hard, moving into a really little semi detached house after 4 years renting a big terrace. Then losing her mum to cancer so suddenly it shook us both. 4 years later we moved to Preston where we now live. Little did we know what was ahead. 1/4/2011 we moved in June 2011 I was told I would die with out treatment diagnosed with cancer. July I started treatment. They told me I would become infertile so I had to store some boys. Swimmers or sperm to the medical among you. I did, and hoped one day I would be able to use them after the fight to beat cancer. 6 months of treatment, chemo every 2 weeks. We had Christmas together 2011, friends disowned us. Family did not understand. Our fight carried on, until I started to get better, work again, the extension I started when diagnosed was finished. I started to do bits in the garden, help a friend, my energy came back a little and we bought our dog faith. 
Faith was my shadow, a wonderful dog. She still comes with me where ever I go,  and loves her dad like no other. For me she would do anything.


Ah but then I have to say, she licked me on my neck, again and again and barked at me often. She was telling me it’s back, my cancer had come again. A Bone marrow transplant, a tiny room. All the time believing my deposit would be used one day. 18 months ago I had that transplant weak though I still am and not able to work full days, we hoped that IVF would be given to us. My wife was 39 but got to 40 when we had our appointment, we were told we would be able to go ahead to now eventually have a child. A gift from God, although stored by me and saved in the nitrogen bank. 

Then that day, the letter came. No it said, your wife’s to old and you should have tried earlier. You are not able to have children. But not giving up we made an appeal, supported by phycologist doctors and reports. Yet still the answer is no. Is it? 

That’s when we decided to let our beloved faith have pups.

So here we are, that’s where our journey has led us.

Meet our puppies that will get a new home. But also our blonde girl Lilly Hope. Our new blessing.

Rejoice with us.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Ps, I have committed to doing this for 365 days every morning, what I ask of you is that you share these i make on email, facebook twitter, you can affect people by pressing a button. Please do that. I asked ppl to share yesterday 18/05/2015 at 8pm they did and 100 people saw my blogs in 2 hours. It only takes a click or two.

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. I

Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something tou you it will to someone

 else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

Copyright ©2017

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Pain, and Christmas.

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Pain, and Christmas

I guess this should be a merry Christmas post, or happy something or other if your religion is that of those that consider Christianity and Christmas non exsistant or offensive. Good news it’s not, it’s about pain. It’s about the people that never asked for pain, they never did a stunt and broke a leg, or tried to commit suicide. Although some have, but that’s another blog. This is about people that are not able to escape from their demon PAIN!

Pain really  screws up your day, makes things that seem simple to others impossible once it takes hold. You do your best to be as normal as possible. Yet no matter what you do outwardly it never disappears. Only those that know pain know what I mean. You wake up with it and go to bed with it. It never dissapears. It’s not like a pin prick, or a broken limb, it chips away at you never ever resting. Until you have had enough and it does not matter that it’s the time of year, or the love you are supposed to feel. It’s just about doing the best you can. You smile so others feel good. I mean, no one is ever interested in what’s going on with you really are they “Snap out of it” “smile ” they say. 


Well I just want to say, sometimes words that I never normally want to say. F…K Y.U have a little understanding by putting yourself where they are. But you can’t can you? because you don’t understand. Please don’t glance over what a pain suffer feels, what we feel is as important as a child. Only we don’t get to take our pain away for the evening, to have a meal without it. We just have it, and nothing we do will enable us to escape. We are trapped by a consuming fire, chemo can cause permanent damage. I have that, it grinds you down and you feel useless, and extremely worthless. Yea some people say ” great life you don’t have to work ” I laugh. Because I do work in lots of ways. Just do no matter what is my advice. But above all else, be honest. If the person speaks about themselves in response. Well you know, and I know they are trying to understand. It’s not their fault really. Give those that don’t understand a prayer this Christmas. Of course pray for al, those in pain this Christmas, they really do matter. 

Bless you all

Fonz

Merry Christmas

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

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Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something tou you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

Copyright © 2016

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Today is today, because of our past. ‘Don’t despise it’

Today is today, because of our past. ‘Don’t despise it’

Neither today or your past, neither should be despised. Learned from maybe, proud of, possibly. Satisfying, hopefully. Some things in life we have to watch or hear many times before the penny drops. It gives me great pleasure to see fulfilment in people’s lives. It brings me satisfaction, like the home we live in brings me satisfaction.  It’s a great feeling to know that you have overcome to get to the place you are today. People have said to me. Don’t look at the past, it’s there for a reason. I listened to them sometimes, and concentrated on the future. But a wiser older me, makes me appreciate what has led me to today, because without every single part of what was today would not be the today that it is. 

How easy it is to think what ifs. Of what benefit are they to the day we live today. Today is so much more important than anything else, enjoying today and being satisfied in our today. Be happy that you have had the path you have had, there is no reward in thinking you wasted your life. You did what you thought was right, others made choices in their life also and they became what they have and they also have to satisfied or regret, that they are or are not.

What I love about this life we live is that we have a new chance at life every single day, and whilst I accept I have had some pretty horrendous days in my life, those seriously bad days have made me who I am today.  Things are great, and if they don’t make you satisfied then they are of no benefit. Things may enhance the life we live, but ultimately it’s your attitude to what has been that will make a differance to your what will be. Today, is all that there is. There will be no tomorrow on this earth, only the today we live. Whatever you believe, what ever the name you call our God. Learn from your past, remember your past as lessons you learn from. 

The picture comes to my mind again


The bird sat in its nest above a raging waterfall. Yet it’s happy, content and not phased at all by the raging waterfall below. Seemingly unconcerned by the danger below, just content with where she is at that moment accepting of the place she has. It’s not so much the journey and what it consisted of, that led you to where you are today. Rather that you yourself are happy within yourself. People will always decide to do what ever they will do, if we are content and happy with the decisions we have made. The waterfalls around us will have little effect on our own happiness.
Have a great day
Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something tou you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

Copyright © 2016

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This is what I mean by perspective.

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PERSPECTIVE….!



Have a great day.
Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something tou you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

Copyright © 2016

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The Gig. (The Stone Roses)

The Gig. (The Stone Roses)

Now let me just say right from the start, I have never understood the whole Gig world. You have to drive there, park and then go and stand or sit somewhere to watch somone sing songs you already have on a CD, usb, phone, or alike. Why bother spending £82.50 on a ticket. Especially when the band on before is called Public Enema or something like that. For a full 3/4 of an hour we were subjected to absolute garbage. Now I am not one of those people that complains about swearing but there is a line. I was sat there looking at my friends shaking my head, thinking maybe it was all going to be the same. Now whilst I have become somewhat more laid back since living with Cancer, I do still have a like or dislike button. And I can say most enphatically that I do NOT like the man known as. Flavour Flav. 

My wife said to me, “you can’t get an atmosphere like this on a CD” I said “well thank goodness for that. But I was to find out what she did mean. When The Stone Roses came on, the atmosphere did indeed change to one that you could not buy on a CD. The place started to Buzz, and whilst I have been to the Manchester city ground on 5 occasions now. It was never as good an atmosphere while they were on than going to a football match. Going to watch Liverpool at Anfield and again at Wembley are the only times that came close. 


I looked across at my school friend who I had lit buncen burner taps with at high school, and did many other micheivious things with. It’s kinda strange looking across at your friend who was so good at football, the boy who took my place in the rugby team because I broke my leg. Which I never got back by the way. Not that I am sore about that or anything. Now I don’t know much about football but I do know that on some occasions when we are listening to my music collection, stone the roses come on there is a spring in the step of some whilst playing our game of pool. I was later to learn that Manchester United come out to the tune ‘this is the one’ by stone the roses. Or is it The stone roses. I get a bit mixed up sometimes as I am a Liverpool fan or be it a plastic couch supporter. 

I actually started to really enjoy the Gig, I even found myself tapping my thigh and bouncing a little bit. I was rather pleased that we were in seating opposite the band as I don’t believe you get warm beer thrown at you in the seating areas. The standing areas don’t go to the loo because they can’t find who they were with when they get back so it goes is a cup and in the air onto the unfortunates that it lands on. When the last song came on (I guessed it was) as there was 5 mins of no playing before ‘this is the one’ was played. My school friend became very enthused as did I and most around us. It’s a bit political because my wife likes Manchester City so for her to like the Manchester United anthem was a bit, well you know.. 

We all had a great time and I would proberbly go to another one, that s 3 I have been to now. Noel Galligers ‘High flying pigeons” and Oasis at Heaton Park. The heaton park gig I left soaked in other people’s warm beer so have to say it was a whole world apart watching ‘the stone roses’  now when that final song comes on and it’s Manchester United walking out to it, I think of the gig we went to. It’s a memory we made that keeps playing over and over when I think of it. So I think that by now at least I have gotten my monies worth because it’s a memory that I treasure. Even Public Enemy was part of the experience. Which kinda makes me smile that I listened to such garbage for 45 mins. 

My wife is a true Salford girl although she does support Manchester City who as the name suggests are from Manchester. Unlike United that were born in Salford.  My wife’s a bit complicated. So there we are, a great day and evening spent with the man who took my rugby slot in the school team, but also played football for the school team. Just call me John smith. 

So just for the record, or C.D. The atmosphere at a gig is far better than just having it on a device. ITS BETTER.

HAVE A GREAT DAY

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something tou you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

Copyright © 2016

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From bad to Worse!!!!

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From bad to Worse!!!!

Going on holiday is supposed to be a way of relaxing and when you come home your supposed to be refreshed. We were for sure just that when w were on the plane holding hands feeling that feeling of feeling refreshed and looking forward to our IVF treatment. We felt excited, we even met people on our holiday that had had the treatment and it worked first time. I mean knowing we have fought so hard for our life together. The room, the treatment, the sickness and suffering. Surely this is our time, surely it’s time to get some good news in our lives and have an opportunity to have our own child. My swimmers are dead, so we are not able to have children naturally so our only chance is to have them through IVF. We were told they were dead on the day before our holiday and our holiday in Greece was time to come to terms with that. I was angry, and upset that cancer had taken that from us. That the consequence of the fight was that we could not have children, that somehow we have been ripped off. 


It was about a week into the holiday that we met a couple that had had their successful IVF. Our anger turned to hope as we heard the story that was theirs. That he had fought for his life after breaking his back, but years later had their gift through IVF of a beautiful baby girl. We began to feel hopeful, we even began to feel excited at the prospect. Our holiday began to be a joyful time as we imagined our new born and what it would be like to be parents. We talked about how we would parent, the methods we would use. We even watched how other parents were with their children, we looked at each other knowing that we would work together to help parent our child and realised that maybe we would make good parents. We spoke how we would ask questions of why they were doing what they were doing as apposed to shouting. (Maybe a far fetched dream right) we spoke how we would parent and how we would love them, places we would go, what we would teach them. 

It really was the beginning of a new life for us, especially as Archibald the guy at the hospital had told us we would qualify for the treatment. We are not people with money, we are people with big hearts and share love with people and help others to overcome what they are going through. It’s what I do with passion, helping others with cancer, dedicating my life to holding out my hand to other people like you. Encouraging people that they to can win their fight, whether it be cancer or something else. I have heard the words, “you will lose your life without treatment” I know how valuable life is, I know how precious it would be to parent. I know how my dog makes me feel, I mean you see people that are parents and apparently some children don’t know what a loving home is. We do, because we live in a loving home and truly hoped to be parents and thought that this was our time.

We arrived home up beat unpacked opened a bottle of red wine and began opening the post, you know the bills ect. Then I heard my wife reading a letter out loud from the hospital. She said the word “unfortunately” followed by “you have not been accepted” it did not hit me really till now. That we are not being accepted for IVF. Right now I feel as though yet again Cancer has taken something else from us. After spending our holiday feeling hopeful that we would become parents. So here we are with yet another disappointment. Another set back, something else to overcome. Yea of course I am upset, we both are but you know me, I won’t just sit back and allow this to ruin me. I will continue to look into the options until they have been exhausted. But I tell you now reading that letter has floored me, for now. 

We will get over this, we will become positive again.

Today is a gift and treasuring what we have, is most certainly important. Life is precious, appreciate what your life gives to you. Also the people you have in it. We are each other’s gift.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something tou you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

Copyright © 2016

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Good is everywhere. 

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GOOD IS EVERYWHERE

So it’s true, that there is good in everything if we look for it. My wife reads to me most nights now as my friend has given me a book to read called “illusions” Although I write believe it or not I am not a great reader, I don’t even read my Blog posts back a lot of the time. I also find that in my dreams sometimes I am spoken to, not by my wife but by someone far bigger than me. Sometimes my dreams are complicated, and others so very very clear. But this came from the book she reads to me.

So picture this, a river not the fastest river you ever saw, but all the same one that never runs dry. A river teaming with life, imagine then that there are some creatures in the river holding on for dear life, they do it everyday. Everyday they have to hold on so they are not swept away by the current. They don’t know why they hold on, but they chat to each other one day and discuss why they are holding on so tightly. One says to the other, we  will be hurt if we let go and will be battered and bruised by the rocks. The other one says “yes but I am bored holding on, I want to let go and trust where the rivers current will take me” 


The ones holding on, do not trust that they will not get hurt. For if they let go they will indeed get hit by the stones and rocks. They have no faith in what they don’t see, they only trust in what they can see. Yet the one who wants to let Ho and trust the stream believes by faith that where the stream is going and must know something he/she does not. Or surly the river would not keep flowing. 

The time came that they let go, and sure enough the stream sent it smashing into the rocks below, hurt battered and bruised by the Flow of the water. It was not the water that hurt, it was what was in the river. The stream continued to flow and carried him up to the surface where there was sunlight and a new way of living. He had never seen the sunlight before, but because he had let go and had faith in what he could not see. He/She was able to see how beautiful they were, the colour of how he was made and learned that he had wings and was able to fly. He was given a gift because he used faith in what was unseen to become the beautiful person he became.


Life has been like this for us all I suspect at certain times, but not knowing what will be is the same for us all. Having faith in what will be is the same for us all to, only we can let go of what is so we can know what could be. Only we can allow what our true destiny is, to be discovered by having a few hits but still moving forwards. I just wonder if you will hold on tight to what you know, or if you will allow yourself to trust what is going to be by letting go.


Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

Copyright © 2016

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It just is.

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Living on this planet, I find every day is a school day. I am always learning about life and my opinions, are not just changing but becoming more accepting of the world. You see I was brought up to believe so many things are wrong and so many things are right. This is not how I live today, because what ever it is I believe people may not agree with. What right do I have as a person to disagree with the way someone lives a life. Who says it’s wrong really? The snow falls at certain times of year, is that wrong? The sun shines and the planet thrives on the gift of life the sun brings, the water feeds plants and the world Carrys on. The world just is, this planet is amazing and as my dear friend says. The world works in harmony, if we like it or not it just is. 

The question people ask is “is there a God”? Well what ever your opinion on the subject, you are what you are. Your life is for a reason and all that you do has some effect on the planet we belong to. What we do makes ripples and we will never know just how much effect what we do, does or does not for other people. It’s a very peaceful place to find yourself in, to realise that the world just is. Your perceptions to things change, they become more meaningful. Yet they also become effective by just letting people be who they are. People I have been around all of my life have judged others and had opinions on how those people should be. Well here are my thoughts.



The more we as people worry about what others do, the more unhappy our lives will be. I wrote a blog called the garbage truck. I talked about how people that are concerned with what others do or do not do keep loading the rubbish of others into the truck that is ourselves. Loading ourselves up with other people’s issues that are no concern of ours at all. I had a friend once that used to come to my house and constantly tell me how otherpeoples actions offended him. Yet he could have just accepted who they were and had a peaceful way of life.

Nearly losing my life has taught me that I have a lot to offer this planet, but if others don’t think that’s not the case why should I worry about that. It is after all an opinion of another. It’s ok isn’t it, or is your opinion of mine differ from that which I think. That’s ok, the trees grow, the birds sing, people get ill, people get better, people don’t. It’s all ‘just is’ we can get annoyed, upset anything we like but that’s our ‘just is’ I have had much time to contemplate losing the ability to be able to give my wife children naturally. It’s been a very upsetting process for me to come to this point in my understanding of life. That it just is and no amount of upset can change my world in this. 

For me it’s amazing to be able to live, maybe IVF will work and we will have a miracle but together me and Andie will just relax in our ‘just is’ it’s far better to accept the lot we have been given and to focus on what we can do, not what we can’t. To accept the world as it is, rather than to wish it was different. As I have written this blog, I have found things that were bothering me disappearing. Because it’s about our perception of what is and is not that makes all the difference. The world is your playground, it’s not a place with continued problems it’s only our perception of what is that makes your world a better place to be. So from now on I will be learning to accept what is, not wish to change what I think is not. As my friend says.

Peace.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

Copyright © 2016

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Happiness is for everyone else, not us.

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Happiness is for everyone else. Not us.
That’s how I was made to feel on hearing the words. It’s true I could had a family young. My choice was to live a life a life that I enjoyed on many occasions of course that life was never completely perfect not until we met each other. We were just pawns living this thing called life. Sure I knew I was blessed with knowing God and all the joy that brings with it. But there is something about having the opportunity of having children. Our own to love and cherish. A chance to bring a child into this world with non of the money worries. In a fairly comfortable way.

We are fortunate in a way that I have stored some swimmers that could potentially give us that opportunity through IVF (Test tube fertilisation) but I don’t know how I feel about that. But it’s our chance to have a miracle. So who knows maybe that’s where our miracle will happen, I don’t know but it’s a bit like the biscuit tin as a child. It’s something I hope for more than ever now.
My friend said this to me this morning
“Take time to relax and come to terms with it, having kids is not everything. You have each other, and some people go through their whole life never experiencing that kind of love, treasure what you have.”
So that’s gonna now be my focus been as no other advice I have to go on, I guess it’s the best advice. You do feel less of a man that’s for sure like your whole meaning of what we are put on this earth to do has been stripped from us because I beat cancer. Well I suppose there has to be a consequence to any action you take in life. It’s just the only option I had was to have chemo to steal a few more years. I am mad to not want to leave a legacy behind. That maybe I live on through my son or daughter. 
I guess this is just another part of cancer, you create your home, make it a home and then hope for the pitter patter of feet in the surroundings you have created. Imagine a Christmas morning with our dog faith, Jenson our cat, Mark Andie and our new miracle with us, crackling of the wood on the fire. The warmth not only from the fire but from our hearts as we experience the journey that is family.


Right now I feel robbed again, but in usual Fonz style, I am gonna believe for the miracle that the little girl got in the film miriacl on 34th Street. If you have not watched the film them please watch it, so you to can realise what our miracle would be.
It’s not the fault of the nurse that gave me the news that my sample had no sperm in it at all. It’s cancers fault of that there is no debate. Cancer has taken this from me and made me infertile. Some may find it funny, but I assure you who read this there is nothing funny about cancer and it’s effects. I will as Johnny says treasure what we do have and move on from this. They did tell me it would be so, otherwise why would they have asked me to store some swimmers. Life that’s what I am gonna focus on, and the brilliance of another day, yes I am sad, yes I am even shedding a tear as I write this blog. 
But I must enjoy what we do have not want what we don’t have, I must have faith that Gods Will Will be done. 

Here’s hoping for our miracle on our street.
Have a great day.
Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories.

Copyright © 2016

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What cancer looks like. 

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A period in life I would rather forget right? 
Wrong, it makes me appreciate what I have now.​​This is a PICC line and how I was given Chemo for something called ICE. This makes you projectile vomit as soon as it enters your body. 

View could be worse hey.

That’s my Wife Andie xxxx

That’s my line being flushed, no matter what this has to happen every week!

HICCMAN line, given to people having the most effective drugs and most danderous. The end of the line enters a wide vien near the heart to lower the risk of amputation. If the drugs (some) touch your skin it can eat your flesh. That’s why I looked like this when I had Chemo.


Just to have my life 8 teeth were removed from my mouth. So next time you see someone with teeth missing, maybe wonder why they ate missing.


You want to know what incredible is. 

That would be beating cancer, or anything else that has questioned your mortality! 


But I did it, to give you hope!


I know what it feels like when you look like this.

But now know what it feels like when you do this!


You got this.

Fonz

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A Fallen Tree.

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In life we have many things to deal with, many we don’t know what they entail, or what the outcome will be. My day has been consumed today, consumed with hurt for another an a family. Consumed with what has been, what will be and what could be. 2 of my cancer friends face surgery this week, and I have prayed virtually all day for them and their families. So I want to try to encourage anyone facing journeys like theirs in the future. I may need you to think about pressing the share button on this one.

I will attempt to tell my story today through pictures.


The two pictures above signify what is ahead. That we can see what is there, yet it’s still uncertain, no one knows who or what’s behind any of those trees. Yet you and I would walk there if we could, we would believe by faith that we would be ok when you hot to the end of the path, turning the corner and believing you will be ok when you get to the next corner as well. If your an atheist, or a believer. You have to have faith, it’s impossible to walk without faith. You have faith in a chair when you sit on it. Belief your legs will hold you when you walk.  We all have faith everyday without even thinking about it. It’s only when something happens to us do we start to appreciate what life truly is. As I watched my dog “Faith” enjoying her walk I asked God to show me something, to show me possibly something that would help me write this blog. This is what he showed me.

 

A fallen tree.

When I talk to God, the voice I hear with in me that some people call conscience. I began to understand that the fallen tree still had life, although it had hit the ground it still had life. It had taken one hell of a fall, some of its branches were broken and was quite obviously different to when it had been stood upright, yet it was still alive. It got me thinking that even a tree with no soul could adopt a new way of living. Just like us who have had a life changing experience.

I began taking pictures of my surroundings, the sign


All those paths were ahead of me yet I would only choose one. There was the tunnel, that could not be seen through from some angles.


Yet wether I could see through it or not, did not change what was or was not in that tunnel. The tunnel was always going to be the same if I could see through it or not. I have had to learn to stop punishing myself for the life I have lived, rather to change the life I will live. Whist cancer has struck me down like the tree, I still live a life. I can still breath like the tree can. The life that I have fought for was always going to be this bad, the pain I feel was always going to be this way. Only to get to enjoy what I have now I had to put faith in what was in front of me, the surgeons, the nurses, the chemo, the treatments, the phycological effects cancer has had on my life were all going to be there. 

  

The bridges I had to cross to keep my life many have walked, many have also believed the walk was worth it. I guess for me it’s better to have faith in what is than fear of the unknown. We can’t change what was, we can’t change the path required to get there, but we can change how we see our life. Change how we see the fallen tree, maybe some will just see a tree that’s fallen over. I see a tree with a new way of living. What ever your way of living is, isn’t wrong. What is wrong though is not making the best of what you have. Seeing the bad as opposed to success. You have an opertunity of how to use your path that you choose, you will always have to walk the path you choose. Will always meet the people that you should meet. The thing that makes you special is what you choose to do. How you use the experiences you have.


What Faith chose she loved, even though her dad was actually quite embarrassed as she (again) jumped in right under the “no dogs swimming” sign. If you have an oppertunity to continue with life I rather hope you choose to do what’s required. Today my friend Pam ( who I dedicate this post to ) had to walk a very tough path. But she did, she has walked onto the bridge and walked forwards. Of course a new life will be hers, but I tip my hat to you Pam as do we all.


If you have never suffered, make sure you do all life has to offer you. Sing even if people can hear, dance if people can see. You have a life and however your living that life is a blessing to you, make your life a blessing to others. I dare you

Fonz

Ps someone put this sign up to. It rather made me laugh.

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

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Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories.

Copyright © 2016

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Faith.

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Sometimes simple things that happen, help us to come to the realisation of some parts of this life that we live. We all know I have had cancer, we all know how hard I had to fight to complete the tasks that were before me. Never once did I not believe that I would die from cancer. I believed that I would survive, I also believed I would survive for a reason although that reason was not yet apparent. In its entirety at least. There are many times that I have used the word that entitles this blog, many times every day since we gave a home to our baby doggie “Faith”. Many times me and my wife have held hands and looked at each other, with a look of belief whilst masked with the fear and sorrow that was and is still called cancer. 


When ever anyone faces any desease, difficulty, challenge, or life changing situations. There we have to realise, that we have enough Faith to see us through to the other side. Because of course without actions Faith is indeed dead.

Faith for me, apart from our amazing addition to our family. Well it’s something we as a family Mark and Andie, also my further family have had to have to come through the otherside. With my Fathers cancer thrown into the mix. The thing we need most in life, is faith that we will overcome the treacherous road that’s before us.  We have to believe that our God, has a plan for us, believing that even what we are going through has a reason. You see that’s why I started writing, why I started the blog you read and share fonzandcancer. Because I believed that I would survive, I believed that I was allowed to have breath in my lungs because I had faith.
When you have Faith, it’s not the feeling or the belief that makes a differance. Anyone can have faith, it’s only powerful when you WALK by Faith. So simple an action as walking by faith, can make more differance than you know. The effect you can have in another’s life starts with a step, and believing that those steps you make are for a reason. I personally feel it maybe possible that I am to turn another corner. Yet I have to step forwards by faith, not knowing what it is that will be my future in God Faith and Love.

 

What ever you do, make sure it’s something. Every journey you go on, even if it is just to the kitchen starts with a step. For you to achieve anything you first have to move forwards. I read a blog the other day and the person spoke about moving forwards, that it did not matter how far forwards as long as it was just that. You do not know the impact you can have on someone’s life unless you take your own walk by faith.

 

Remember as I hold my wife’s hand and she mine, we have to believe by faith in what we are together. It’s the same with our God isn’t it, it’s the same with what you believe in. You may not see what the effects have in its physical form, but if you are led by faith trust me, things will happen. For me personally, this up and coming week is most proberbly going to need more faith than I have ever had. I have arranged a meeting for people to discuss new possibilities in our local area for young people. I mean who knows it may just be a hand full of people, maybe I will look an idiot. But how will anything be achieved if I don’t step forwards and do something. Surely doing something is better than doing absolutely nothing.


So I want to end this post by sugesting this to you. That your life is for a reason, and if you believe that by Faith, and move forwards in faith. Believing that. Because only by believing that and then moving forwards can you make a differance. If you do that, you WILL make a differance. Your life is for a reason and all you have to do is step out in faith.

The question is
“Will you”?

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories.

Copyright © 2016

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My last blog.

How many times have you felt like giving up, not going to work. Throwing the towel in, saying no to doing something when you could do something. You see no matter what you think you are or you are not! You are not thinking what others think of you. What they think May suprise you. You see this being my last blog, maybe people will be sad, maybe happy they won’t see my blog come up on their time line anymore. But is that really the man I am, a quitter. I quit smoking, but that I am sure you will agree, I am able to quit without bad feeling.


Whilst my mum calls my blogs repetitive, maybe she is right. But what I do know is this, it may be a while telling you.what I know is one thing only, that’s it’s better to do than think about doing then not. Right now at this moment in my life, I am more challenged than before. I am maybe even more stressed than before. Yet my mind always says this to me when I feel under pressure. “Nothing is as bad as that room” it’s so true, that no amount of tribulation can match what I faced in that small room in Liverpool. Yet maybe even something positive came from that. Maybe I did so I could do. Maybe doing has made me the determined man I am today.


I want to tell you, and help you to realise this,. That whatever you face and have faced, is what makes you who you are today. Nothing you have faced is meaningless, it’s for a reason. Your Devorce,  your pain, your desease, losing your job, it’s all for a reason. Hold your hands up and give up if you like, but I hope you hold your hands up and become the vessel you are made to be. That you become productive, helpful, and useful. Because all those things you are, you have just got to believe that’s true. The only way is not Essex, it’s the way you are meant to grow and go.  You are the only one that can do what you do, don’t hesitate, make your life count. 

Your special, that’s a fact.

Fonz
Ps, I am not a quitter, I will be writing again.

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

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Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories.

Copyright © 2016

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I wanted everyone to STOP.

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It was that day when I had to go for my results, it did not matter who was in that room. My wife was there, the consultant, student nurse. 7-9 people in the room altogether. Yet I felt so alone, so afraid and so weak. Non of it was in my plan for my life. It was not in my mind when I said I do to the person I wanted to spend my whole life with. What kind of crap is this, that I had to sit in that chair on that day and hear those words. I want to try and help you to understand what happens when you hear those words.


You see up until that day I was invincible, indistructable, a mountain of indistructable muscle. But I wasn’t was I, I like everyone else was falable. Those words pulled the rug from under me, made me lose my footing and fall to the ground in a heap in my mind. ” You have cancer ” he said. The world went blurred, black and white if you like. Life became like a vivid dream. That everyone should stop moving whilst I came to terms with those crushing words that I just heard. It was like a cloud of negativeness had just engulfed me. It did not matter how much I knew people loved me, as that tear rolled down my cheek, I just felt alone like no one knew or could actually understand what I felt. 


I believed everyone should just STOP, let me tell you how I feel. Just allow me a little time to come to terms with this horrific day, to do that you have to all STOP though. But no one stopped, no one allowed me time to understand what Chemo was. Nothing stopped only my world stopped, only our life was discontinued. Weeks maybe months they said without treatment. WHAT? Oh no not me, not a chance. I had more life to live and more to give than just an exsistance. My life was for a reason and I was going to fight and make sure I lived that life so others could be blessed. The cancer may be real, the effect may be real. Even the world not stopping was real, but so was my stubborn determination to make my life count. 


Cancer is a lonely road to find yourself on, but trust me it’s the stubbornness to survive that has given me the breath I breath today. Nearly 6 years ago I heard those words, then heard them again last year. But I was also able to hear the words that I heard 1 year ago. “You are in remission” I was at 4a once upon a time, the closest to terminal you can get to with out actually losing hope in the life you had. I am not saying that things are normal again. Because they are not, but what they are is honest, real, reflective, and Gracious. I am grateful for the breath that I breath, and want to love those around me. Care for people where once I did not even concider them. Please God forgive me for that. Who ever you are, whatever your going through, when someone hears the words “You have cancer” right then at that moment is when your life changes forever. Dare I even say, cancer will give you gifts along the way. It will be lonely, it will be something that’s an interference but ultimately you can help others  too.

Just stand up and do, don’t live a life with regret. You have a life, Live it.

Fonz

 
http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories.

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I used to hear the birds sing, now I listen.

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That’s what cancer did for me, it helped me to realise what was important in life. To many people in the world (myself included) are concerned with how much things are compared to the value of something in your life. I used to get woken up by birds singing, I even found it an irritation on times. They do get up early don’t they. Take right now, I can hear the birds chattering away, I love it. When I was in that hospital in isolation all I could do was see them, I longed to hear their chatter chatter. So now I listen to them at every possibility.you should try it, it’s a sound we all seem to block out. Yet when we listen yo it there is such beauty not only in being able to hear the birds, but also in the appreciation of life.


For me when I listen to the birds, problems seem to disappear. My heart becomes grateful for what I do have not what I could have. I become thankful for a life I have rather than hoping for more than I have. Why does it take for someone to face a hardship to realise the value of life. There have been many moments in my life that have been light bulb moments. One of those being the sentence in the movie “the lion king” Simbas girl friend says to him. “You are more than you have become” how very true that we all can be a better us. That we can choose to have a better thought process, choose to be positive rather than see problems. After all are problems not an oppertunity for a solution. It just depends how we choose to think in our own minds.


You can choose to listen to the birds if you like and appreciate your surrounding. Or you can let your circumstances you find yourself in, dictate to you. Or you can appreciate what you have had in life and be thankful.

For me today I choose to be thankful that 15 months ago I looked like this.


Because when I looked like this it has enabled me to have the freedom to value what I have today, LIFE. That bone marrow transplant has helped me to get to this position where I can listen to the birds. The question is.

Will you?

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories.

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My account.

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Well I guess some people would frown at me for this post, well it’s still going up. Your reading it. It was 5 years  ago when I was told that I needed chemo to survive. But to do that I may become infertile and may need to make a deposit at the women’s hospital in Liverpool. I had no idea what this was to entail, I had all sorts of thoughts what happens at the women’s hospital. Do they milk men like they milk Bulls and pigs. Was there a lady with a plastic glove that helps you, I know your laughing right. But have you got a sperm account, if not I guess you don’t know what’s involved either. 


I decided I needed to go in my manly car, you know turn up with my Tom Cuise Aviator glasses on in my loud rather distinctive TVR.  I had images of me arriving an strutting into the hospital full of energy and of course other stuff. Except the pictures that we have in our minds don’t quite work out like that do they. I mean I was going in a TVR which are unreliable to say the least. How did I expect to arrive all immaculate, well groomed and smooth. When I was going in a car that involved doing something to it on every trip. This trip was the same as the rest. It stopped running half way there and had to lie in the ground and hit the fuel pump with something hard. I ended up with oil on my face and smudged oil on my hands, and looked nothing like the fluffy Tom Cuise look I had in my mind on arrival.

When I arrived I was given a few consent forms to sign, one said. IF YOU DIE, YOU CONSENT TO …….. USING YOUR SPERM TO CONCIEVE. Oh, no one said it would be this way, that I would realise I had cancer like this. In fact non of the day had gone to plan so far, what ever that plan was. Anyway, apparently this invincible guy was about to become infertile and will not be able to have children. 10 years they would keep my boys for. But how would it happen, another guy sat near me also not aware of the given procedures. 

After ( some time ) a lady said you can go into room 1 now. She came I mean went in there with me, this was the scene. The room had a dentist chair in it with a large roll of blue paper at the top of the head rest. The nurse pulled some of the paper over the dentist chair then switched on a large TV and told me there were a verity of channels to watch. I was told that I could make my deposit in the plastic container and then place into the wooden lift and press the buzzer and it would be frozen in nitrogen for 10 years. ” what channels I thought ” I remember my mum telling me not to look at dirty pictures growing up, so the underwear section of Kay’s catalougue was all I had to go on back then.  I had learnt a little more since then, I was after all, married. But switching on a TV and erm well you know. In a hospital???! What? It just felt so so wrong, I told myself this was for my wife and maybe for my future son or daughter. I had not been blessed with children, but I was well aware of how they were made. Well we all know what happened there in that dentist chair, and the channel I watched will have to remain with me. I made my deposit pressed the buzzer, and up it went to were ever it gets stored. But that was not the embarrassing part. That was opening the door and looking to my right to see about 6 nurses, looking at my belt area. Oh boy, I don’t think I ever knew embarrament before then. 


Six ladies all looking at me at the same time, why did they do that.. Well I know why, but even so. I said my good byes and went home. The second time I did that I asked my wife never to ask me to go again. She had 2 deposits and I hoped if she needed them because chemo did not work then she would enjoy bringing our child up. I prayed that I would make it though,.

So here we are , I don’t know if we will need to withdraw anything from my account as we try for a baby, that we hope for our little miracle because they did say that chemo may damage my swimmers. But what ever the outcome, we shall not be upset, and feel truly blessed if one day I hold my own son or daughter. So please pray that we have our miracle, that we don’t have to make a withdrawal. I hope you giggled in this post, it was created to lighten your day, but also to educate you that there is no lady to help you with gloves on, it’s all your own work.

Have a great day

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories.

Copyright © 2016

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My friend Dave.

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It was nearly a year ago now when I was contacted by Daves wife, at the end of her rope as her husband was suffering on his journey with Cancer. He was not eating, just sleeping and seemingly given up. We had quite a long chat and I told her as it was, to be firm but kind with Dave. It was fairly soon after that Dave began to improve, he began talking to me through Facebook. We laughed and shared moments together that were actually quite private. Another friend of mine organised a meal for some of the people in Cancer stories to meet up, it was fantastic. Dave was the first person I saw, we hugged each other and that was the start of our friendship. A friendship where we both knew what it was like to suffer, we both knew also what it was like to be loved completely like another. I remember being at their home and while we were alone, Dave spoke so fondly of his wife, how much he lived her and how good she was to him. That she had  given him hope and felt that he was stronger with his wife.

It touched me how he felt, His wife Anne told me how they met and how they fell in love. I felt so privalaged to even know these people, I was even given a chocolate eclair which was wonderful. That’s not why I liked them though, they were both so considerate towards me and always asked after my wife. I think it was 3 times we all met for a meal, and even though Dave was having chemo he still came, trusting that everybody at the meal was free from illness. He even pretended on one occasion  that  he was not coming and made my eyes leak when he walked through the door with a beaming smile on his face. Dave read about my fight in the Lancashire Evening Post, thats how he learned about our support group on Cancer stories.

As the weeks went by he became an integral part of Cancer stories. He encouraged people fighting, loved those that were hurting and was conciderate to those that were suffering. Me included. Dave had Liver cancer and whilst I will give out his surname in this blog, I can tell you Dave had the operations required. So that they as a couple might have more time together moving forwards. They have enjoyed days out after his operations, procedures and of course the dreaded chemo. Dave even finished his chemo and was over the moon and life was seemingly awesome, getting stronger eating more and visibly healthier. Smiling from ear to ear when ever we met. 


They came to see us as a couple 3 times I believe and I really enjoyed their company. It was always a pleasure to spend time with them. They were fairly newly married and bounced around like teenagers in love, it’s amazing to see two people enjoying each other like them. I was just so pleased that they had found each other. 

It was barley 2 weeks ago when Dave took a turn for the worse and the cancer began to grow again, he was brave about it and always sent me up beat messages. There is no one on this planet to be more conciderate, more sensitive, and tender as my friend Dave. Anne came to see me last week, Thursday. We had a coffee together and we shared a hug, and she picked up a card one of our cancer stories had sent to her. Anne stayed by Daves side as a pillar of strength though all he had to go through. Yesterday wendsday 6th July 2016 my dear friend lost his fight and breathed his last breath. Yesterday was a hard day for so many as everyone had to come to terms with the fact that he had passed away. My thoughts love and best wishes are with his family Anne’s family and his friends.

Dave was very keen on Golf, he was a Christian, a father, a husband, and a dear friend to many. I personally will miss Dave greatly, but I also have joy in my heart that he was able to have a life that gave so much love to so many. You were and are loved Greatly Dave. Now you are in no pain with the Angels in Heaven, I really enjoyed knowing you and being a part of  life and thank you for being a great friend to me. We may not have known each other long but you touched my heart.

My love and prayers go out to all who Dave loved and all who loved Dave. 

R.I.P. My dear friend 

Fonz

  
http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

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Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories.

Copyright © 2016

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Faith and me, our (Marley and me)

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I will never forget the day I met faith and she met me. When I first saw faith our Labrador, she was not interested in what the other puppies were doing. She did what she wanted to,  investigated what she wanted to. I was not able to put a pink collar on her when I chose her as when I went back another female puppy had a pink one on so I chose a man city blue collar. My wife’s a Manchester city fan. Our life as dog owners started when she was 8 weeks old, we were not able to take her out properly for another 4 weeks. I was amazed at how quickly me and our puppy Faith bonded, she followed me everywhere. Her space was a cage that I gave to a friend when he got his dog. She loved her crate and although we locked it at night. She was able to freely Go in and out as she pleased. Faith did not have many accidents as we took her out into the garden every 2 hours. Saying the words Pee pee when she did it. She soon associated the words with being good doing it outside. When she made a mistake inside we just took her out not saying anything. 


I guess looking back it was my first go at parenting in a way, I know that sounds silly if you don’t own a dog. However I don’t have a son or a daughter so I am not able to compare. Faith has come everywhere with me and us, we taught her how to come towards us by using a ball. Every time she ran towards me or my wife we said our call word “come” she got it very quickly. Faith has been to Cornwall on holiday, Northumberland, to many friends homes and to many pubs. She has been awesome, she nearly died when she ate a bone so we have banned all bone eating now. I jarred her upside down front and rear until she sicked up the bone. That was a close one and I am just so pleased I thought to do that for her. This is what came out.


Sometimes she comes in our little TVR, she perches on the back shelf and rests her head on my shoulder. 


We learnt in our journey with faith that, we did not need to spend much on toys for her to be entertained.


Well it’s been brilliant and I have enjoyed every moment with her. I have never actually wanted to be a parent, that is until today. Not properly, I have thought about it but never saw it as a possibility especially as having chemo has possibly rendered me infertile. So there I was today having a walk with our dog and we stopped for a coffee, there opposite was a couple with a dog and a baby. As we got chatting I found out the dad was my age, I did not ask how old his wife was but I assumed about my wife’s age. Of course I cannot say what that is. But as we left and indeed ever since I have been thinking about being a dad, thinking the JC words “How hard can it be” would I make as good a dad as I do a doggie parent. Could I actually make something we thought impossible happen. 


Yea I know it’s all private stuff this but I am on a journey telling you guys how things are, I have shared my most inter ate moments in my cancer journey with you, so I guess I am going to do that for the rest of my life really arnt I. You have read about me, how cancer nearly beat me, now you will read about our new journey. How WE create a special gift, a legacy as my wife puts it. I am ready, our home is almost ready. Our Faithy would love a baby I know it, and my wife is ready. So here we start our journey to create our son or daughter. All because we went to Rufford hall today and met a most fantastic couple of parents. I said I would beat cancer, I did. I am now going to procreate and ask that be it Gods will that our miracle happens. Maybe you will pray for us to. Our life is for a purpose right, my Faithy has been a great grounding in the last 4 years, giving me the slightest inkling of what being a parent may entail.

So this is our Marley and me. That we call, Faithy and me. I hope you enjoy reading about our journey that I will share with you.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories.

Copyright © 2016

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The me today.

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Is your today, like my today. 13 months after transplant and I am still feel pain from my treatment yet no one asks how I am. Just the empty question. “How are you”? Gets asked yet they don’t really want to know really you start to tell them and they glaze over. I have learnt this in my journey. To be selective in who you choose to be a friend. I used to be the first to the bar and the last to buy a drink. Now I value my time with people, love, help, comfort, enjoy, but above all respectand consider   who I am with. I don’t expect anything from them, but it’s nice to be loved in what ever way they see fit. 

We are not well in this house at the moment, but one thing is for sure. My wife will always want to be close to me and so will my wife. Cancer has ripped so many people off and I am determined that after fighting for 7 years that cancer will not dominate any more of my life except in a good way.


I want yo encourage people facing chemo, operations, what ever it is in cancer that there is and has been more than that. There is a boy I love called Mitch, I have watched his brave journey and prayed for him. In my mind it’s not about judging what someone was. But hopping who they could be. Mitch won. He had cancer in his head, had brain surgery yet he lives and encourages those in life that need it instead of saying. “What about me” what about you really. Should you not be doing?

For me life is about what we do do, what we don’t do is something that will never be a part of your history just what you could have been.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories.

Copyright © 2016

H.O.P.E.

A lot of people will get a lot out of this. Please read the whole blog.

fonzandcancer blogging to encourage.

Morning everyone, even though it’s just seemingly another day. For me this is no ordinary day. It’s a day where we (me and Andie) can look at each other and see the relief in our faces. We can see the strength that our relationship has in each other’s eyes. We feel relief and release knowing that together we have done all we can to beat cancer. How amazing my wife feels, it’s a beautiful thing to see that in someone’s face. The emotion that runs through our veins having beaten cancer together twice, must be over whelming.


During this second journey I was completely the opposite to how I handled it last time. Sadly I did not want to speak to anyone, communicate about cancer in anyway. I locked myself away and only a few people knew what we were facing. It’s true to say, although I had to work…

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What you choose makes a differance.

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It’s so very important to set achievable goals when you face cancer. When your facing chemo or a terminal cancer it’s important to have short term goals that are obtainable. I mean some goals I had were getting to the next second. Smiling because even though I have illness it’s up to me to make some sunshine. 

It’s down to us to make something good when facing something bad. To look for something positive in life even though we think there is nothing to be positive around us. On thing I used to have as a target and still do, is to remember something that made me smile, a time we enjoyed together. I remember how many times I watched our wedding DVD, the happy day that we shared together, the love we shared with our friends. 


Don’t get me wrong some days I would just cry, I would not be able to help crying, I just did. I cryed and cryed and cryed some days. I learnt that days like that were good as my brain was being washed with all the toxins chemo had left me with. I learnt that even those days were good days. Why because I was able to have a better few minutes afterwards. Cancer taught me that life can be taken from us as we know it in an instant. One moment we are doing what we love then the next moment so it seems, a doctor says those dreadful words. “You have cancer” then the old normal has been left behind. 


Only right then can we understand what the importance of laughter friendship and love is. How important it is to recall all the good we had in our lives and how important it is to make happy moments in our lives today. Because as you and I both know, there is no tomorrow. There is only today for us to make a differance, but we also are able to recall the good times we had before cancer came and it’s for sure been a vital part of my life with cancer. There is always something we can do, don’t give up, remember the beauty you have had and have in your life. Me personally I believe in Jesus, I believe in the power of God also. I also believe that we are given strength by his people. That it’s up to us to see the good in someone, and also do good for someone. What ever you may believe in the spiritual world, that’s your choice. But does it matter what another believes. Should we not love our fellow man anyway, find something positive and do anyway.

Don’t get me wrong there is evil in this world that we will never understand, but the only way to make this world a better place is to do something yourself. Choose to do something, remember something good. Give something good to someone, even if that which you give is a memory, or a reminder of a memory. There is always a way to bring sunshine to someone’s life. 
I hope you choose to.
Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com
Our support group on our FB
Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 
It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories.
Copyright © 2016

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It’s about determination.

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This weekend I have had the honour of meeting many people, yet I should not really be here myself. I when I got cancer the second time realised I could let it beat me, or I could fight. So like I had the pleasure of sharing this weekend, the first post I wrote was. ” I am Mark, a cancer fighter. I will win!” Arrogant, or determined. Well arrogance is not based on what is not seen, so I would say determination. In life, it’s what we choose to do that matters, what we choose to not do has no effect on our lives, except negative. What really? Well yes because doing nothing is erm just that isn’t it, doing NOTHING.


I love people that do with thier lives, people that say yes to doing rather than making an excuse not to do. Are you with me? Ok so people that want to do and don’t just say they will but do do. I saw pictures today that would be hard for some to comprehend. Like a hook as big as a house. Yea like I said some will not be able to imagine. There is a point to this trust me. 

So for me giving up in that room was the easiest, it was really really easy to just let go of my life that my parents had given me. They had joined together and made me, I was made in love through their passion and love for each other. Now whilst I may never totally understand my parents, I do want to thank them for my life. But do I just have them to thank, do I not also have someone else to thank much greater and knowledgable than me. Do I not have my maker to thank, the person that put my parents together. Well that’s thanks to Bible collage, yea I know wild right. 

It does not matter how your life started, it matters how you value what you are, who you are and what you stand for. what your life means. Well for me mine is a statement of what can be achieved. We live in a generation where we hear of much going on all around us on social media. Love hate and much inbetween. Yet it’s our choice still what we choose to do or not to do. I have chosen in the past to hate, and I was proberbly hated aswell. But I have this to tell you today, loving someone and being loved by someone is a gift you give and a gift you take given to you by someone else. People choose to love you and I find the most amazing times I have had since choosing to beat cancer have been choosing to be myself. To be who I am, for years before cancer I had times where I tried to please others by being something. But not me. I did try to be a person I did not know. Tried maybe to impress where there was no need, forgetting that the real me was actually me.


That the real me was the best me there is and was. That I am not a failure, I am not living a life for nothing. So I leave you with this statement. 

“The real you is the best you, just be you”! 

Trust me if someone does not want to be in your future it’s their loss.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories.

Copyright © 2016

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The EU and my thoughts on the subject. 

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Many of you know me by now, and know that I like to turn things around into positives. We have just had a referendum and  England has chosen to be out of the EU. We have as a nation decided to Leave, it looks quite close when you look at the percentage. But that equates to 1,269,501 more people decided to leave compared to remain. I don’t know about you, but that’s a lot of people in my mind. Do you know that’s more people that the whole of Wales and northern Ireland put together that chose to vote. The total of the two combined being 1,212,784 in Wales and Northern Ireland that came out to vote. A LOT of people.

Now to me what we are faced with here is an oppertunity, it’s not an accident. It’s a choice we have made and for me it’s something we can not change. What we can change though is how we respond to it, what we do as a nation and what we do from now on has to be surely an oppertunity for unity. I found this on what is today 24th June, interesting how the article says day 24 yet written nearly 8 years ago, making reference to the verse I refer to in Psalm 133. Day 24


So for me this is what we now are going to become, we are going to have a new Destiny. A new start, a new beginning. Let’s see what our future holds not as a curse but a clear chance for us all to bless one another going forwards. To hold out our hands to those that struggle, there is absolutely nothing to be gained by fighting what we have chosen to do going forwards. What ever Wales, Northern Ireland, and Scotland do is up to them. If they don’t want to be a part of the United Kingdom, will we still be in unity and be a blessed nation. There will always be consequences to any decision that’s made, we WILL deal with those as they come. Please stand though, please stand together and face what ever it is that we face. Together. Let’s walk forwards in unity as we leave the EU and become the Stong people that we are. 

You have a choice, help or complain. I say, lets role up our sleeves and work together to hold on to the Britain that we all want but let’s do it Together. In unity with one voice without pointing fingers and remarking on what we would have been without leaving the EU. We are where we are, the only thing we can do is to now choose who we want to run our country and that what we need to concentrate on. The change what you want as a sovereign country is now down to you. You can either complain that the vote did not go your way. Or you can choose the government that you want moving forwards, because surely moving forwards is better than looking back.


But let’s move forwards TOGETHER.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories.

Copyright © 2016

Destiny

Ironic that I see this today, 1 year since I wrote this blog. Please read the original. This is a really good post, even if I do say so myself. 😊

fonzandcancer blogging to encourage.

When I think about how I got to where I am, I am not quite sure how this party animal ended up here, As the picture suggests I am not unhappy about where we have ended up. All my blogs are about really is to help people (you) think outside of the box. (So to speak) not looking at what’s straight in front of you but looking a little further than you might have looked before. Less and less people read them so today I am going to learn how and where to put them. Because I am only using facebook and Twitter at the moment. I am gonna find some new avenues to exsplore today. Please feel free to share what has worked for others with me.


When I travelled across Australia, the only plans I had were to go from west (Perth) Australia to Brisbane on the north…

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How I gave up smoking.

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I don’t know about the rest of the world, but for me when I got hodgkins Lymphoma. I was told that there was no evidence to people getting my cancer through life style. Ie drinking or smoking, or eating. So for me I was not being told to give up cigerettes and it’s not going to give me a better chance of not getting it again by not smoking. So I didn’t, I smoked throughout my whole cancer exsperience. Even when I was in treatment I still smoked at home. .

Your mountain, to climb.

Inspiration from my brothers picture.

fonzandcancer blogging to encourage.

Good morning, I have woken up on the settee, So knowing I over did it yesterday I hope when I climb the wooden hill I will sleep again. But for now, I want to encourage you, to press on up that mountain. To focus on your next few steps as apposed to the massiveness of the mountain that’s yours to climb. Believe in yourself, know that you are the most amazing person that you have ever been, and tomorrow you will be more amazing than you were today. You will have learnt more, be able to inspire more. You are the most amazing person alive. You have to believe that though. Only You can have the faith you need. Only you can reach out your hand when you know you can’t make it alone.


The help you need is everywhere, God is omnipresent, he uses people to help us on…

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Accept who you are not what you were.

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U can be who you want to be, that’s what I tell my wife. Some words I may have said before but I know that what I write now will help someone today or sometime in the future. I have not been here for a while, I apologise. I have been helping my good friend to errect my conservatory. I have spoken before in my last post about impossible, that the only part of impossible that stops it big possible is the I’m in the word. Is not the only person that matters holding your past against you. Is, erm you? Is it not you that’s giving you a hard time maybe feeling guilty for your past, something you did or did not do? One thing I do know is that what someone else’s opinion is is both nothing to do with you, and nothing to do with them. Let go what someone else thinks about you, what you are is in your hands and your past does NOT define your future.


Your future starts in the next hour, the next afternoon. But always today, your future does not start tomorrow. You are the one that chooses who you are. You also chose what you were, but that’s not a part of your future , only if you want it to be. Your past is in your hands, it’s up to you yo hold on to it or let it go. It’s up to you to let your past mood you and benifit your future. No one is to blame for your future, only you. Don’t start yo tell me yes but such and such and this and that, you choose what happens next. You really do, don’t be a head hanger. Hold your head up high and keep moving forwards, keep believing in yourself and keep doing. 



Believe me I could show you pictures of me that say I want to give up, I could tell you stories of how cancer has made me want to check out, how I have thought badly of myself because of who I was and what I did. Trouble with that is that people will believe what ever it is you believe of yourself and there are plenty of people willing to be negative about you out there so why actually be one yourself. Be good to you, say good things about you. Above all do good to others every day of your life, that’s really important. Use your life, don’t regret your life.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

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A death sentence.

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Is that that what cancer is? A death sentence we didn’t choose? A journey we didn’t choose. A part of our life we never even thought would be part of our lives. Before you read this blog I want you to know, that people that face cancer in what ever form be it as a patient, partner,  family, carer, or friend. I want you to know these people are amongst the most courageous in the world. All cancers are different and how ever we decide to deal with it rest assured the journey is one through Hell. 

Today I found myself in the presence of someone amazing, someone who has fought the fight like I have and are. He is an inspiration and a seriously generous person with his time. Today I left hospital one year ago, the same hospital the man I speak of left 2 years ago after his bone marrow transplant. Yet we find ourselves together errecting a conservatory. Part of that day involved standing on a trellis on tip toes for a while with my arms in the air holding the cross beam in place. It was 10 mins before my next pain killers. What you don’t know is walking is tough, never mind standings or a period of time. The pain as I stood began yo surpass the pain that was normal and bearable, and I found myself feeling so very sore and horrific pain in my legs.


There I was with my friend who I knew was one of the few people on the earth that understood my pain, one of the few people that understood what I felt inside. Understood the actual pain I felt. Here tonight remembering what’s happened today and what we have achieved. I don’t feel sorry I cried, I feel amazed I have a brother who knows and understands what I face and what I have been through and what appreciation I have for life. Holding that bar up feeling the pain I felt made me cry, it made me feel useless whilst being useful. We did something today that was hard to do. Maybe some would see as impossible. For me and my friend we believe in the impossible made possible.

Sometimes the only thing standing in the way is ourselves, and maybe we just need to fight through the pain and get to the otherside. The side where there are people that have life because they fought, people that have overcome grief in loving the very people that do have life and are living today. 

Maybe you feel today is impossible, well let me tell you that it’s amazing what you can achieve if you keep on keeping on. Did you know impossible means the opposite to what you think. See  you are possible, it’s just the I’m in the way of possible isn’t it. Try and find something you enjoy in this life, it’s there if you look for it. I know one thing . 

I have gained many friends through cancer. Keep on keeping on your one of lives courageous people and you CAN.

Fonz

Survivors guilt!!

Some may need this today.

fonzandcancer blogging to encourage.

Right up till today I thought survivors guilt did not exsist in my life, I would go so far as to say I did not even feel it existed at all, today is a hard day. For sure a wave of oppression is and has been on me today, I am using all my trix in positive thinking. It’s all in vein though, I just feel like it’s an impossible task to pull myself out of the deep sinking sand. I have seen a couple of people on my Facebook of late grieving their lost ones, it has made me feel guilt. Guilt that I wish there was someway to take their greif from them. Asking questions like “why did I survive” “nothing special about me” I am struggling to exsplain how I feel but I will give it my best shot.
You see I am learning how human I…

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The most important thing in life.

On watching the c word tonight on bbc1 I thought this appropriate.

fonzandcancer blogging to encourage.

The most important thing in life.
You ever stopped to think what’s the most important thing on earth. Whats more important than anything else. I have had a dream for about a year now perhaps a little longer. Since I went to a lovely village in Pembrokeshire. A dream to live in a house there, and run a holiday cottage separate to the house.


It’s something we all need, no one of us is excluded from animals to humans. We rely on it for our very existence, so much is dependant on it. As you all know by now I am recovering from cancer, in something that some call, Recovery, or remission. I have been here before, but the dream did not exist back then because I had never been to Pembrokeshire and seen the amazing place. You see, it really does not matter what your post code is as…

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Sunshine and Bees.

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Do you ever just stop, look and listen to the natural world. Listen to the bees buzzing, watch the birds communicating as they sing their chorus. Appreciate the smell of the flowers in the garden, gaze in wonder at all that has been created. I often look out of our window at the birds feeding at the bird station. My wife always buys thes coconut shells filled with fat that the birds love. But then today I was wondering why I appreciated the small things so much, why I appreciated the smells and the world of nature. How I had become so grateful for my surroundings. Well I guess the answer to that is simple, and obvious.


I know what it’s like to be unable to smell the flowers, to watch the bees. I know what it’s like not to be able to here the birds. It was only 3 weeks where I experienced life unable to hear the birds  the bees and the wind russling between the leaves. To be unable to smell the sweet fragrance of flowers in my garden. I was not even able to feel the sunshine on my face such was the reality of the small room I was cooped up in. But you know what, I am grateful I have had that experience in that room isolated from the world. With my I pad my wife (during the day) and the days on fan that kept me cool at night times. Because I can hear the birds today, I can smell the flowers today, I can hear the birds chatting in the morning.


Life is without doubt a precious gift, one that we never truly appreciate until we are not able to experience life with all of its senses. Is then life not a gift to you to me, to all the creatures that roam the earth. Are we not all fortunate and blessed that we have air to breath and eyes to see. I have found myself not being bothered about what is going on in someone else’s world, found myself becoming a curtious driver. I have found giving gives me a great deal of pleasure, where as before it was what I wanted that as most important. 


Right now there is a valeter disrupting all this tranquility with his loud jet washer. But hey, it seems to make no differance to the birds. They still sing, they are still playing in the trees, and seem happy to be alive. The point is, the birds and the bees don’t care what we do, they just carry on enjoying what they can. Accepting the world they live in for what it is, take a moment to pause today and admire the world that’s all around us. Take a moment to appreciate what you do have rather than what you don’t have. After all, what we have today is a gift. A gift to be enjoyed appreciated and cherished. But will you? Do you? A year ago today I had no option but to continue life with out the enjoying senses that I have been given. One thing I did do though, because I was able to. That was to encourage my fellow man to keep on keeping on, what ever that path maybe. Blogging 365 times in as many days. 

I hope you find time to enjoy what is all around you today, enjoy what you do have.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

Super heroes 

This is one of the most energising blogs I have ever written. I do hope you read the original post. It’s well worth the 3 minuites of your life.

fonzandcancer blogging to encourage.


what do you want to be? What drives you, what Spurs you on. Well do you mind if I attempt to tell you what drives me. my world has changed dramatically in the last 10 years. My ideas were always about chasing money, wealth to achieve happiness. I am a really keen F1 fan and I remember a quote from Ron Dennis which rings true in my mind “money is only a problem if you don’t have any” it’s so true. I was always striving for the next big thing, the next quick money making scheme , I was driven by greed. I was driven by what I had, not what I could give.

As I have gotten older I realise the words of the Robbie Williams song “youth is wasted on the young”from the song eternity. It really is, because by the time you realise what’s real important in…

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Silverback attitude.

I write this in Isolation 1 year ago today.

fonzandcancer blogging to encourage.

The silver back
In my opinion, a silverback has an amazing attitude. It’s a nick name I have had for some time. You see a silverback does not sit and contemplate. A silver back is a go getter, an animal that lets nothing stop him from achieving his goal. They are the Dodge Charger or TVR or a Ferrari of the animal world. They sound amazing as well as being a mountain of power and muscle.


But is that it, is that all that’s in the armoury of a silver back. I don’t think so, they have an ability to be able to touch gently, and love the little ones in the group of gorillas.
The silver back is not to be annoyed though, the roar and power must be terrifying to the rest of the group. The smaller gorillas running up trees using their agility to escape the mass…

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I am not defined by Cancer

You need a lift today this is for you.

fonzandcancer blogging to encourage.

I have tried to stay away whilst in isolation from my Cancer journey in here and what hell I have been through, I still am going to do that. My life is not about Cancer it’s about me, us. Who we are together that defines us. The friends we choose that become our family. You can generally tell if someone loves you just by how they respond to you, support you. How they are around you. I see it like this if you don’t have to hide the real you, you speak how you speak to them. Then you are talking to a friend, if you have to adjust who you are then your not with a friend.


This is what true friendship looks like.


Although this is family, I believe all friendships are the family we choose. All the way through this journey of isolation I have looked at…

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Honesty about beating Cancer. Twice.

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So here I am it’s 12pm I am still in bed, yup that’s right the pain is still with me and I am not able to walk today. If I was that man that was under the circumstances maybe I would feel sorry for myself and maybe even shed a tear, but that’s not me. I actually smile that I have pain, yea it’s true. The smile is because I can actually feel the pain, the pain makes me know I am alive. That although standing hurts, that I have beaten cancer. “Twice”. The pain reminds me every hour of the day how hard the fight was, it reminds me of many other things to. It reminds me of  my family, my friendships, this blog and the support people have given me around the world. The pain makes me grateful to be alive, happy to have life in whatever fashion   that is.


You see for me, life has never been a breeze. Everything I have ever done I have had to do the hard way. But I am sure that I speak for most people on the planet, life’s not easy is it? If it is easy for you then please tell me how you do that? 

What I have realised personally at the age of 47, is that we all have similar battles in different guises. But I don’t think there are many people walking the earth that have an easy time. It’s just most don’t shout about it, or share how they are feeling.mmaybe telling those closest to them and that’s it. Well it was a little different for me as the first time I had it I was given a short time to live without treatment. But even then that was not enough to tell you about it. It was not until I had been around cancer for 3 years and got it again that I was compelled to start writing a blog. I wanted to share my journey when I realised I was going to have to have my transplant. All I knew is that I would win and wanted to share that journey with you.


Yesterday I went back through my blog and looked at some of what I have written over the past year. The posts I was reading began to touch me, it made me feel I was reading someone else’s journey not mine. I know this sounds strange but I started to like the person who had written them. Yea I started to like myself. It’s amazing how I have turned the pain around to me saying ” you have pain, because you have life” yes of course we are not super human and have to listen to our bodies. After all we get pain for a reason right. Mine is because chemo has damaged the ends of my nerves, but surely the pain free option would have not been the best for those around me that loved me.  I have pain because I chose to fight and to beat cancer the way that I did. Yea there was a 1 in 4 chance I would not make it, the pain reminds me I made it everyday.

Pain is a reminder of how strong we are and were is it not?

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

Power of forgiveness

I wrote this 1 year ago. Funny how your own words sometimes get said right back at yourself….

fonzandcancer blogging to encourage.

The power of forgiveness
In life there are many hurdles, some are quite nice and are not an endurance others are a real struggle. Most however require honesty, mostly with yourself. You see if your happy with who you are, you more often than not make the right choices. The only thing we can’t do is make other people’s for them.


We have to learn to accept people for who they are, which I find real hard as my standards in people are so great. I won’t settle for second best, I won’t stand for wishy washy people, that have self richeous opinions. But what I do try to be is honest with all people, which gets me into trouble sometimes.
Who is right, I am open to opinions. One thing I am very aware of is that forgiveness sets others free and no matter what I think or what…

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I just want to thank you.

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Oh yes for sure, I am fully aware that I am not perfect. That the man that is Fonz is imperfect and has flaws. Never the less you have read my blogs, maybe even you have found them helpful. Maybe you have shared them. What ever you have done, you have helped me and spurred me on to carry on with my 365 blogs in 365 days. 

Here are the actual number of posts so far via a screen shot


A massive task that maybe even I thought was not possible. Yet here we are 375 days on. Over 700 of you now follow me, many of you have commented and shown me commitment in reading what my murmurings have been. I want to thank each and everyone of you for your part in encouraging me to carry on. 

Here is the post and the names I put up back then.

Thought I would put up some thank yous  

Firstly to my wife Andie Blackwell for being my rock and constant source of strength.


Debbie Beardsworth for the DVDs you sent.

Janette McCreery Reynolds for the listening books all the way from the usa

Becca Parkes for the gifts you sent to my wife. ( sadly passed )

Tea Veenstra and Saskia Woudstra for the card from Holland

 Karl Boardman s children Rhys and Kyle for my good wishes card and also to Karl for looking after my house and car whilst I have been here.

Lisa Wood Daryll and Ian for your good wishes via mail.

Anne-Marie Balfour Eric and children Elsie and Rhona for your lovely presents.


Faith my dog for letting grandma do your faith diaries. 

Ken Blackwell for looking after Faith with my mum.

Jeremy Blackwell for lending me those uplifting books.

Kim Blackwell for supporting my wife often, and talking to her when driving home from hospital to keep her awake.

Zac Blackwell my nephew for lending me my PS3 games.

Joshua Winn for fundraising and your relentlace support. 

Mandy Shanks for your continued support in prayer.

Alison Wilson Johnny Wilson and Molly and boys for your constant support and love at this time for us both.

Beverley Winn for your messages of support.

Carmella Hollington Vale for your continued support.

 Cath Parker and John Chapman for your support and love for us both in this.

Chris Dale,and Lisa Dale ben jack and Alfie for your fun and laughter at times of need. And the picture you put on CS and the special video you made.
Dan Vernon and Helen vernon Rueben and Ethan.

Daniel Alexander Clyburn for being there constantly.

Dave Hollington for your encouragement.

My friend Deanna Harwood Perich who skype do and encouraged us many times during the rough rough moments.

Eileen Salmon for your funny messages daily that have kept my spirits up. ( sadly passed ) 

Ian Ian John Fisher for reminding me of good times we had along with Marie Anna Emily and Ava.

Jan benbow for supporting my wife.

Kirsty Redford for being there for me always and comforting me.

Lakshmi Sharma

Lilian Candy and Pete.

Mags Whitehouse for being there in the small hours to encourage me.

Mel braban for instigigating fund raising event in North Wales

Michelle and Calum for messaging ur sister.

Natalie Burney and MITCH and family for being there even though facing very tough times.

Paul Benson and Jane for your constant love and concideration.

Pauline Phil Lloyd for your encouragement and updates as to your own story here.

Ron Blackwell and Rosalie Blackwell for your constant support.

Sue Winstanley

Alexandra Villemaire in Canada for your reassurance and love.

Thank you to Amanda parfitt

Angela Jack for encouraging me and Andie

Anne Marie slater

Bernadette major

Beth obrien

Bullet tooth tony

Carleene waddicar

Carole Ann Richards you have been a tower of strength

Chantelle Bolton and girls for cheering me up.

Cherlyn Mcsharry and mike and family

Chris Calvert for all your distractions

Chris Oneil and Rachel Robinson

Colin Colin Browne Debbie Browne ur always there.

Colltte mchugh

Dani Makovecz

Daz Manley your a great encouragement

Debbie Debbie Sumner your amazing and I thank you

Dee Taylor

Denise fortune

Diane boocock

Doris livesey

Dorothy Bailey

Eileen Almond my dear friend

Ellen Leigh for your love and sharing your story

Elliott Summerfield

Emily waddicar

Gail Hardman for all your messages and support from you and your boys

Gareth Cartwright rhiannon and family I know this has been tough for you.

Gillian wells you have been here from the start.

Hitesh Ghedia you know.

Ian greenwood for keeping an eye on things

James Clinton Smith for daily encouragement, relentlessly 

James D Peace-Mankiewicz we will have lunch 1 day friend. ( sadly passed )

Janine Taylor and Paul Taylor and family for all your support

Jason Julie Kenningley Mark Kenningley Luke Kenningley and family’s 

Jean ‘Mili’ Thraves you have been a great addition to the group.

Jean Anderson your journey and Billy’s has inspired me.

Jean alty

Jenny hopwood

Jo Jo Paxton

Joel

John Almond you have been a great source of strength

Judith broad bentm

Judith Taylor inspitational person.

Julia Prince x

Julia Wadsworth here for me even though she is having a hard time.

Julie Watson

Julie wood welcome

Karen Charteris

Kathleen Hyams a star

Kayla green

Kieth McIntosh 

Kelly Baxter

Kelly rushton

Klara burton

Les smalley

Linda smalley

Liz peters my dear friend and family

Lorraine Haslett u know.

Louise Hyams

Lyndy

Malaya Arnold

Mandy shanks

Margret Margaret Park xx

Prestwich pharmacy

Marie ash worth

Marius Hantig Adriana my special friends xx

Matanda

Matthew Cross

Michelle hodgeon

Rita hodgeon sadly passed but told her story to us.

Mj Sherman

Nichola kenny a special person
Nicola fortune

Patsy wileman

Pauline birkbeck

Peter bones Wilson a life long friend

Sammie Roberts 

Sanjay Ghedia

Shandee Cabral

Sharron mccrery

Sharron Perry

Shaun Ferguson

Shelley Elizabeth

Simon Naylor Kay and family, becoming true friends.

Sue Daniels

Susan robinson

Tajreen mowla

Tim button

Tin foil tie wrap

Towhida Rahman

Tracey Ann Essex, thanks for your continued support on the benidorm seriously group.

Trisha Houghton

Veronica Bailey

Wendy and rob Cartwright, for your love and friendship over the past 23 years

Wendy case Edwards another fighter in Australia.

Youandi Woudstra an amazing person, and outlook.

These are people that supported us while we were in hospital.

There are many more people in our lives now that we’re not bk then. But I wanted to revisit that post, the people that were there back then. The differance you make in people’s lives. I want to encourage you to say the encouraging words you need to say. Because with out you someone may not get the words they need that day. What you say and do can and will make so much of a differance. All you have to do is agree to do it yourself.
Don’t not encourage the person you are compelled to do today, today will be the past tomorrow. But it will also be a new today and a new start and chance to help someone. 

But Will you?

Thanks to all of you that have been there for us, the new friends we have made since this article was written. Thank you.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016