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Suicide.

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Suicide.

In memory of my friend Gary Townley

Whilst there has been a lot of joy this week, there has been much sadness in my world. I have had a lump in my throat since I found out. I don’t think there has been a moment since Friday that I have not felt sorrow, I always said that suicide is selfish, something only a weak person would do. 

I met Gary through a random advert I put up, some electrical sockets I needed fitting and wiring in my garden and lean to. Peter Pan replied to me saying he could help me and when could he come to look. Gary did a lot for us after that day, and to be honest I used to find work for him to do just so I could give him some money to get by.  Some people in life you just warm to. Gary had a strut when he walked like I had not seen in anyone before, he genuinely cared about people and whilst I won’t talk about his personal life here, I do want to write something that will be there forever when someone googles his name. I struggle writing this, I really struggle as all of my life here in this village has been about preserving life.

When I looked back through his messages he wrote to me, he was crying out. I did call round to see him, I offered him my hand of friendship and he did come round sometimes when he was not working. He was a softly spoken man, but with an air of genuine about him. Fear was his terrible friend and sorry to say that he needed to escape his demonds. So here ya go Gary this letter is for you.


Dear Gary,

I thankyou , for your friendship. For your kindness, the workmanship in our home. You know I still have lights to fit in my house, that you have yet to fix. I have to say, I loved your hat and how different you were. Your dangly cross ear ring. I liked how you wanted to be a good person, and am greatful you wired the extension in our extension. Everywhere I look in my home your hands have been, lights fitted and you even taught me how. The tools you gave me, the care you showed me. Thank you for always doing your best, sad to say you are now at rest. Just wish I could knock your door again, share a doughnut again. It hurt me so to see you so sad, we even cried together. 

We never did have that beer did we. At least you heard my story though, my story of life and not suicide. I feel I should have done more, except knock on ya door. But hey, your demonds are now finished. Your not going to suffer on earth anymore, maybe suicide is actually the hardest thing to do after all. So Gary, goodbye my friend. I will see you again, but not yet. I want to make time to make it matter, my life matter somewhere in some form. God knows you never got dealt the best cards in the world. But you did know happiness at one time.

So Gary I lift my glass, and say thank you lord that I met you.

Rest now mate, and see you soon.

Fonz

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Friends are the family we choose.

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Friends are the family we choose.

As I sit here on the settee minding my Dam ‘Faith’ I am watching the movie ‘CREED’ it’s brought a lot of memories back to my mind. Rekindled my cancer journey and even why I embarked on treatment in the first place. The first reason of course was my wife. My friend turned LIFE long partner, then my wife. Which she will be till my last breath. Loads of things are spinning around in my head, in not very long faith will give birth to her puppies. Life will be because of the fights I have had to have and won. Strange for me to think, that without cancer there would be no Faith. Without cancer I may not have realised who my fake friends were, but also who my real, true friends were and indeed are the family I have chosen.


It’s bringing back to my mind not just why I beat cancer but how. In the film Rocky gets the cancer I had, which opens the flood gates for me every time. I can’t help remembering the day, the day your told what’s making you so tired and weak. You see when you fight cancer, it’s every scan, every blood test every chemo. It’s Avery person that sends you a text that helps you to go that one more round when you think you can’t. That’s what beating cancer is about, ‘one round at a time’ Faiths about to give birth and whilst she will never understand the words I write, our friendship is without a doubt real. 

What ever you face on your journey, I want you to know that you can. That no matter how many obstacles there are in the way. If you keep getting up and moving forwards that you can.  You have to have the heart to stand and move forwards though. I don’t know about you but the friends I call family have given me the strength to get up when I thought I couldn’t. The visits from people when I didn’t want them, because I wanted to give in to cancer and die. I want to right here right now, thank those people for helping me get to today, for my actual family for the love and support they showed me to. That through his people God gave me the strength to choose life.. in choosing life, there will be new life in the form of faiths puppies. 

So thank you cancer, and thank you for helping me choose life.

Together we are stronger.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Ps, I have committed to doing this to encourage people, what I ask of you is that you  share these blogs I make on email, facebook twitter, you can affect people by pressing a button. It only takes a click or two.

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. I

Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them hereby to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something tou you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

Copyright ©2017

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Fighting for love, means it’s not love.

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It’s funny how a memory can trigger so much of your past. How people act or even a film! We don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day, but we do love each day together, now don’t think we have the perfect Hollywood relation. What we do have is something that many people never find in life.
 My mum and dads look at each other is Valentine’s Day every day for them. Then I think of the sand storms , the snow, the rain, the potholes in the road we have faced and then remember my wife. I say in my mind ” thank you father ” you allowed this part of my life. Some people have stopped visiting, but they dont love us less. They just have a life to live to. 

Love you guys

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Ps, I have committed to doing this for 365 days every morning, what I ask of you is that you share these blogs I make on email, facebook twitter, you can affect people by pressing a button. Please do that. I asked ppl to share yesterday 18/05/2015 at 8pm they did and 100 people saw my blogs in 2 hours. It only takes a click or two.

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them hereby to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something tou you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

Copyright ©2017

Lion heart

This blog rekindled so much, the strength required to beat a desease is imesurable. Reach out to someone that needs some love today, it’s not about them deserving it it’s about them needing you. Only you can do what you do. Choose to be a lion not a victim.

fonzandcancer blogging to encourage.

Good morning, although this blog will only just go out in the am due to my body needing so much sleep last night. The more I do the more I sleep, and I am not talking walking we are just talking menial tasks that seem to tire me out beyond comprehension.

So Lions, personally I would watch a wild life programme on Lions over most things. What I love about a Lion is their strength and power. But what I love most is their ability to be gentle with each other. I love to see people with quite obvious strength, using their sensitivity and intelligence as apposed to the power and strength they have in their arm.

This picture says it all to me, a huge power house of a Lion with his paws around his cub. It’s a picture I can look at, and I get allot out of…

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My TVR and me.

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MY TVR AND ME.

When I bought my TVR, was when someone said I may have cancer and that my life would be compromised because of if. I laugh because I felt fine, no pain what so ever. Just this growing lump in my neck that had gone misdiagnosed for so long. When I first drove my new car and went over the first bump. I realised it was going to need some work, rear shocks were desperately needed and many other jobs were required also. Little did I realise that me and Trev. I call him that because Trevor was the guy that invented TVR. Every car is different, not one curve is the same. There are even some funny stories about how the Chimaea shape, mine became the shape it was. It’s reported that whilst in clay, being shaped by the designer who had his dog with him one day took a chunk out of the bumper next to the indicator. That’s why all Chimareas have two curves next to the indicators. Which are themselves from a Sherman tank. 


I didn’t realise just how similar our journeys were going to be, mine and Trevor’s. Whilst in hospital having my transplant, my friend took the interior out for me and another friend took the interior and sprayed it. Bringing it back to new. This happened whilst I was undergoing my transplant. 

I looked like this.


And Trevor looked like this.


At the same time we were both getting a new beginning, becoming renewed. The only difference between me and the people working on my car. Was that I had a chance of not making it, I know I did and am also getting stronger even though pain is so hard to deal with. I am here to write these blogs. I was encouraged today by another TVR owner that my posts to my blog were inspiring. It gave me a sense of achievement that because of cancer I owned a TVR and because of that connection she got to read my blog. It’s kinda time to thank cancer again isn’t it.  Cancer maybe cruel and things may perish and need repair. But we are far more fragile than any piece of machinery. Whilst we are living longer and medicine is helping to sustain life. Machines are able to be fixed forever should the owner wish for that to happen. 

Everything I put on my car is the best, Bilstien shocks. Updated engine, powder coated struts. It’s all been done right, of course at a cost. But no cost is greater than to put your life on the line is it. Unless you have a passion for something, even if that’s your faith. You will not understand what I am saying. Your are delicate, controlled by a few degrees in temperature higher or lower than should be, your life will cease. It’s the same with my car, except my car is nuts and bolts to most. To me my car is so much more.

You see, a brain is only able to do so much at the same time. Whilst a person is being distracted, a person does not feel the pain. Oh it’s there alright, but your brain is distracted from it. Yesterday I managed to make it to pain clinic, someone had brought in his Samsung VR. You have seen the advert that the Dad records the concert so his daughter can see what he saw.  People that used the VR whilst using it were distracted from their pain. It was still there but the brain was not sending the signal, because to many other things were going on that the brain was otherwise engage. That’s what my TVR does for me, it distracts me from the real world. The world and its treatments have damaged me forever. But driving my car helps me to be distracted from what I am feeling inside. If I try to remember how much pain I was in when driving and I can never remember any at all. Of course I am not saying everyone needs to go out and buy a TVR, or VR system to enable a pain free period. But what I am saying is that, a distraction can help . Only you know what you love, only you know what’s great for you. But what ever you do, make sure you do something that distracts you from the real world. Here are some pics of what my car looks like now and how I look today.

And me.


I guess it’s up to us to do again, or do nothing. For sure when we do nothing it will be more painful, because our brains are not stimulated. So there you go my blog inspired by a TVR called Kate, one called Trevor. Not forgetting Julie.

Let me know if you got something out of this blog.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them hereby to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something tou you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

Copyright ©2017

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To love another, is truly a gift.

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To love another, is truly a gift.

So tonight, I watched a Facebook live that I was supposed to watch. I listened as the person spoke how they together had done, achievements together and fulfilled dreams together. I heard how two people worked together to achieve a goal, a common goal. A goal they both agreed on, overcoming what ever they faced by working together..

As I thought tonight about what’s important in life, my need to contribute in our family as we draw to the end of making our house a home. To contribute in other ways, more financially maybe. But most certainly whilst these thoughts went though my mind, I realised the one thing that I was greatful for. Thankful to God for apart from life itself, was that I had been given the gift of love from another. We are approaching our 14th year together, I love my wife more today than ever I did, although on times you would not think it. 


Who ever you are, what ever the choices you have made. If you have loved and lost, you had a gift. Your friends, the people that have or indeed still do care about you are a gift. God has given you gifts, yet you don’t see them anymore because of what you are going through. Well I want to encourage you, no matter what you face, and I know what it’s like to look in my wife’s eyes and hold her hand and cry a tear as I fight cancer, and she fights with me. The love of another is a gift, you can choose to cherish that. Or you can choose to let the circumstances get in the way of that. Oh God forgive me for forgetting that sometimes, forgive me for forgetting the moments we stood together no matter what.

That it’s not about what we have, but that we do it together. It’s not whose name is on the pay cheque or who did what, but that we did it together. So tonight I find myself in a grateful position, grateful once again that there is a we. That the gift I asked God for is right there in the people that love me. That when you move forwards that you only need to look down or to the side to see who’s holding your hand or standing with you. 

Don’t let your circumstances be an excuse not to, let your circumstances give you a reason to do. We all have circumstances, we all have gifts also.choose to walk with those that are with you. Don’t be dragged down by the weight of your circumstance.

You matter

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them hereby to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something tou you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

Copyright ©2017

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More.

MORE
What’s that mean to you? I guess you thinking money right? Or things right. Well for me, it’s more freedom. You know what I am sick to death of seeing my wife working a 14 hour day. I am sick of pain. So I need more of what will rid my life of those things. I am sick of being tired. In fact I am tired of being tired. Tonight I was laid on the floor after two long days doing in our home and learning about things. My dog being pregnant, her reactions being up all night with her so she knows I am with her to. People say dont they, “ask a busy man to get it done, and it will be done.”  Ask a lazy man for a simple solution and he will find it. 


Guys, I am gonna live my last 40 something year this year. They (the doctors) say I need 2 years to be ready for work again from my bone marrow transplant May 2015. Well I am ready, the pain in my body makes me think I am not ready. Tonight I had a tearful moment as I realised people don’t have the after affects of cancer but still feel life’s crap. That makes me sad and I wanna help you. So this week I am going to buy some products and I will give them away. Those products will help in our lives, hopefully you have never experienced pain from treatment and if you try it out you will get the full benefit of what this company has to offer. 

Tell you what, if you want to know how to thrive ask me? Message me and I will answer what you need to know but what I do know is. There is a solution, and I believe in it. 

Well it’s time for bed and I am just starting to thrive. All I gotta say is, thanks cancer, coz without you I would never thrive.

Have a great day
Fonz.

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them hereby to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something tou you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

Copyright © 2017
Learn how to be a healthier you. Lose some weight and help others to be fitter, and earn as you burn and others earn as they burn to. But first ya gotta learn.

https://fonzandcancer.le-vel.com

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When do you know someone cares about you?

They put you first.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them hereby to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something tou you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

Copyright © 2017
Learn how to be a healthier you. Lose some weight and help others to be fitter, and earn as you burn and others earn as they burn to. But first ya gotta learn.

https://fonzandcancer.le-vel.com

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If it is to be, it’s up to me! 

If it is to be, it’s up to me


Hi Guys, many of you that are faithful readers of all of my posts some 500 in not quite 2 years. Have watched the transformation of my life. My life and all those around me who have been with me on my journey, prayed that I would make it to the other side. So many times on that journey both me and my wife had had to make changes. Life choices to choose life and to really work hard at that just to have a life. Sometimes on that journey I wanted to give in, to throw in the towel to let go and let be. But even that was up to me wasn’t it. It’s up to you to. Throughout my life, and indeed whilst haveing life with cancer and fighting it. I have been met with choices, one of those is to decide that I will not take negative people with me into my future. I want yes people, get up and get done people. People that say do even though they are not feeling able. 


I love people, I love communicating with people, but what I have also found is the key to success. The absolute 100% most definitive way to live life. 

Most recently in fact day’s ago I met someone who was constantly working and working and working with no reward, other people I met due to that chance meeting were also of the same ilk with one common denomination. Being determined to do well for themselves. Nothing wrong with that you think? You know what everything is wrong with that. There is nothing right with that. Nothing right withnthat at all, oh except for that person of course.


I was faced with these 2 options 25 months ago. Live the rest of my life with cancer, or face a 1 in 4 chance of losing my life whilst beating it. Now I can tell you I had faced cancer before, and won. But I did that for me, I still smoked I still drank what I wanted, when I wanted and never even looked at my lifestyle at all. I mean the doctor said there was no indication it was caused by any of these things I did so why stop right? Of course I got cancer again and your reading about it, or have read about it before. Two weeks before I was diagnosed with cancer again I decided I was going to affect the world with positivity. To share with people that they can where they feel they are not able, not knowing I would indeed have to fight again two weeks later. That’s when I opened our cancer stories group to help other people on the planet who face cancer, and may have no where to turn. 

When I was faced with those two options in my life, I set about asking the very most important people in my life what they thought I should choose. My wife, my parents, my closest friends, my brother, sister. All of them thought it was better to fight and that they would be there for me when ever I needed them in my fight. You see that’s it isn’t it, why we do. Don’t we find when we have children (we don’t) that there is a reason to work. That having a dog gives a reason to walk in the rain. Is it not the same in our lives, without any of these insentives? That our lives should be about putting your arm around someone and saying ” you can and I am here for you” is it that that makes our lives worth living. 


The BIBLE (Basic Instruction Before Leaving Earth) Jesus talks about us being brothers and sisters. So helping each other, is that not what we are put on the earth to do. Will there be satisfaction in a job or work we do if it does not involve helping others to achieve. To dedicate your lives to doing just that, helping some one else. Well thats why I started my blog. To help one person everytine I posted. To encourage someone that they can and motivate them to be. You are what ever you say you are, and for sure anyone that says they can’t are actually perfectly right. I can’t argue with that, you say you can’t. Your right. But can’t you see if you take,  the T out of can’t  you CAN.

Adopt the “If it’s to be,it’s up to me” mentality. 


The point of this blog is to help you be a better you, I want to dedicate a part of my life to help you to say that sentence. I am only interested in people that want to put their arms around others and help them forwards though. If you want it for you. It’s best NOT to click the link at the bottom of this blog. But by helping others in turn your life will flourish, even though you did it for other people, you life will be filled with goodness. You doing for you? Or you doing for others. Think of all the successful people that run a business, all of those that I think of that are successful do one thing. They help others.

Have a great day.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them hereby to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant soumething tou you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

Copyright © 2017
Learn how to be a healthier you. Lose some weight and help others to be fitter, and earn as you burn and others earn as they burn to. But first ya gotta learn.

https://fonzandcancer.le-vel.com

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Faiths puppy journey.

Faiths Puppy journey.

What does every body think 5 weeks and 1 day in? Although she’s not really showing to me, she’s definitely put on weight. She will be wormed in 2 weeks. From 7 weeks onwards the magic will start to happen. We already have 5 potential homes without to much effort. We are without doubt looking for caring loving homes for these puppies. We are looking for people to accept their puppies on their journey called life.


One sentence that rings true with me is.
A dog is there for part of your life, but you are their whole life. 

Here are some pictures of her in her life with us.

Faith loves a ride out in the TVR.

She didn’t eat the chocolate. Dogs get sick from chocolate.

Looking majestic on our lawn.

Faith captain of the boat.

Faith in my brothers amazing garden


Our dog is fortunate enough to be able to exercise in the garden as well as going for walks. Me and faith have a wonderful connection, she only needs to move in a certain way for me to know she needs some love, a walk, a feed, water, what ever her needs are we just know. But in the same way she knows what I need to, during my cancer journey. She comforts me in times I find hard, she even hugs me. She knows when I need her it’s a true relationship. For me I would rather bring up the pups myself, than to gain financial reward for a precious puppy that our faith has brought into the world. But to know the puppies are going to a safe home is amazing, and also hope that each person who is involved in the pups lives will post their journeys on here so we can see their progress. 
Do you know if I did not have cancer, maybe faith would not be in our lives. Which in turn means that the puppies that are homed would not have had the futures they have. Wonderful this journey we call life isn’t it. Please share – even if you don’t want a puppy maybe you will play your own part in showing the possibility of their lives being enhanced by a wonderful companion like we have in our Faith. 
Just think just by a share you could help change someone’s lives. Have a great day. 
Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them hereby to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant soumething tou you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

Copyright © 2016