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anxiety, BTS, cancer, carer, carers, depression, encouragement, health, honest, love, mental health, mind, wellbeing
It’s ok to be not ok
This Turkey holiday has taught me a valuable lesson. One that will change the course of my life for ever. A seemingly throw away statement from a friend to me. Leaning on our balcony having a friendly chat to my dear friend Johnny. It’s the biggest lie we tell and the most often. Why is it that our response to “Are you alright” is “Yea ok thanks”when we are so not. It’s funny because not very long ago I gave an honest answer to my day when he asked if I was ok. We talked about how I was feeling, my dad and Mom (I spell it like that) to.
True friends want to know how you truly feel when they ask that question. Do we not do them an injustice by just saying that your fine when your not? Should we not give them more respect. Should we not say “Actually I am not” to be honest with ourselves aswell as others.
You all know I suffer greatly with nerve pain and find it hard just to communicate sometimes. Pain can be really debilitating and can seriously affect all aspects of life. It’s ok to not be ok, is a new way of thinking for me. Many hours out of a day I am not ok. But yet now I find I am able to deal with it purely by my new way of thinking, compliments to my dear friend that is always so honest with me.
He continued by saying that he accepts me warts and all and does not want to change me. only for me to realise that its ok to Not be ok. Its a revalation to me and will help me mentally in the future. I think there are only a few pwople i can say that i am not ok to and thats ok. Yet oh so many people just think your winging and want you to be positive all the time.
Well i am sorry, its not possible and just to be able to say “actually i am having a bad day” is release in itself, to feel valued enough that your honest with a person is priceless. its nice to ask someone how they are but, the response is of great value also. why cant we just be honest, and say it how it really is. i guess being able to do that means you have a true friend, someone that truly cares. How much balue does that hold for you, or do you actually cover up how you feel and are not even hoest with yourself.
I love to be honest with our Cancer stories group, because we empathise with each other on different levels. That brings me onto tomorrows post which is on the word Empathy. Not everyone can empathise and that to is a special gift. So what will you choose to be next time your asked if your ok? Will you be honest or just cover up as normal. I think being able to be honest with yourself, and with others is a very special way to be.
Do you?
Fonz
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