Holding back the tears

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attitude, become, desire, destiny, encouragement, energy, faith, new, Peace, strength, survived, tears

I have just been talking to our friend who comes every week and makes living easier. She a beautiful soul and someone I can cry in front of; and many times I have. She reminded me this morning of why we have tears, the purpose behind them. I always say that a tear is pain we have within us being released in a natural way. When people grieve there are tears, when we have pain there are tears. Yet so many are used to holding them back. Do we think that holding back tears is a good thing. Why is it a good thing? So others can’t see weakness maybe. So you continue to look strong in others eyes. Well that’s a pride thing, to even worry about what someone else things can be pride. It is also something that means we are considering others which is a good thing so we should not confuse the two.

I remember when I was having I C E chemo to prepare me for my transplant how painful it was. Yet tears back then were just releasing the pain given to me by that nasty chemo. I had to break it down into sections. Sections that meant I had small goals that I achieved even through the tears there could be victory. Small goals are important. Tears seem never ending when dealing with grief sometimes. I liken it to a tunnel, a dark black tunnel that seems to have consumed you. But as I am sat here writing this blog on Friday 9th November 12.09pm. I have realised something. That even a hole has to have an end, be it the other side or the bottom of it. A tunnel has an end, in fact often there is light at the end. It leads me to think about the real purpose of a tear. While we know tears cleanse our bodies, releasing chemicals that are not required. Do they not also cleanse our soul.

You know that the bible even teaches us as Jesus talked to his disciples, preparing them for his death. Saying

“Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds”

This verse has been translated over and over again. Some miss it’s purpose. But in honesty it’s Jesus way of teaching us that what we want to be, who we are proud of. Has to die, or we will not be the blessing to others that we hope to be.

Tears are symbolic of pain being released from our bodies and are an integral part for us to reach the end of our journey. Tears are NOT a sign of weakness they are your bodies way of dealing with things. It’s a natural way for us to gain strength in the future. Actually I would go so far as to say the purpose of this blog is to help you realise that tears have a purpose. They are there for our benefit. Letting tears go, helps us to heal. They really do, each one is a part of your pain smashing to the ground and never to return. Allowing yourself time to grieve over what ever it is that’s changed in your life is very important.

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Did you know that cancer carers and suffers suffer grief. Do you know why? It’s because part of you is no longer going to be you in the future. So some hold back the tears, it’s their way of holding onto who we are not what we will become. I can’t believe that I am having to look at new ways of being mobile as the pain in my hips does not ever disappear. It takes a colossal amount of pain killers just to get we up and out the house. Yet even in that there are positives to find. But let’s not digress.

While the old you maybe gone, while someone you love maybe gone. While the life you knew maybe different, our bodies empathise and wants you to come to that important place of acceptance .

What you were will never be who you become anyway, so tears are a good thing, they pave the way for the new you that you will become.

The one thing cancer treatment does do for us, is give us a goal. It gives us a series of days that make us cry, yet when the tears subside. We will see sunshine on a different day, we will leave the journey behind and although the affects of treatment are not pleasant. The fact we have life still remains. Allow yourself to cry, allow your body to deal with what you are going through. It’s important for you to be able to empathise with others, having gone through the tunnel others that face it will want to know about your experiences.

Tears actually lead to strength. The question is after reading this blog post will you “hold back the tears” or will you allow yourself to be the new you that you are becoming?

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
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Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share
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What we think in our mind is what we will be.

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become, believe, Cancer stories, health, hope, love, wealth

In our minds eye we have a picture of what will be, what we can achieve. Where we think our abilities will take us, what we think we are capable in our lives. Who we can and can’t be in this world, we have an idea that restricts us instead of encouraging us. 
So by having the thoughts you have as to what you can achieve do you understand that that is the very thing that restricts you from becoming more. I have this approach in life ‘if he can, I can’ I used to be passionate about maybe being wealthy, you know the posh house, nice car holiday home ect.

  
Life is not like that anymore, I have changed. My life has changed, I now realise the one thing that makes us happy, and it’s not money or things. It’s contentment, it’s peace, it’s the planet, the creation God has made all around me that matters. The smile on my wife’s face when the dog does something funny. The warmth in my heart that comes from knowing that no matter what happens God loves us.
I so have not been happy having to have this horrendous fight, but the fight has given me many things. It’s shown me the value of life, not things. It’s given me friendships. It’s given me a new perspective on life, people and what truly matters in this life we live. Only we have learnt to dislike people, only we have learnt that different races are different things. Our parents and the news taught us that, I personally think we all bleed the same colour and it matters not what their religious beliefs are.

  
What ever you see in your mind will be, at the start of my fight with cancer I believed I would win, and I did win. I won because I believed it and so many other people believed it around the world, which is why they prayed. 
YOU can be what ever you want to be in this world, it’s you that will or won’t realise your dream. But don’t ever forget what’s really important, family, creation and the very people that care about you every day. We came into this world with nothing and will leave with nothing. That’s a fact. I leave you with this last thought.
It does not matter what you do after someone is gone, what truly matters is what you do in their life. What you say is worthless without a physical out working of what you say. 
Fonz
Follow me, I will follow back. 😊
http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

Tears.

Tags

become, chemicals, clean, help, renew, tears

In life, what I have found to be the most certain is this. That no one is exempt from sadness, no body is given a life that is perfect. Every life that exists has tears, it is a fact of life. Why though? Well it’s kind of like the same message that this blog sends every day. That you think it’s bad to cry? I say it’s needed and a part of learning.  Ok so you agree right, but that’s not the only value in tears.

Tears signify a new start, possible forgiveness because one of the people has agreed that they are wrong. I always think that the person that admits they are wrong, or that they are willing to learn from a mistake or situation are the ones that will grow the most.

 michellewelt.blogspot.com
Tears clean the brain to, helping the body to release the chemicals that are not needed in the body, although in this case it means the brain. Yes you heard right, the body rids the body of chemical build up in the brain. Thus helping the brain to work more efficiently. Amazing right. That’s because you are amazing, and tears are not a weakness, in fact quite the opposite. Without them you are not able to be the person you are. You are not only more than you have become, you are part of change. Change cannot happen without you, your super important. It may even be said that you are critical to any situation.

Tears are a way of making us new again. They also show that a situation means something to us. See the positives in situations, because all situations matter.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

Doing your best.

Tags

become, belief, better, blood, cancer, focus, learning, manage, overcoming, path, reality, recover, right, survive, vital

Everyday for me is about becoming a better person, more rounded. (I don’t mean fat) a person that has something to give as opposed to needing to take. God knows I don’t get it right all the time, in fact some may see me as a failure. What ever is thought by others I can’t change so why worry, what does it matter anyway. Peoples opinions won’t change because it bothers me, the only person it hurts is me. All I do every day is my best, although I get it wrong on times I DO my best to get it right next time. I do my best I never try, we all know there is no try only do or do not.

  
Me and Andie often discuss, how we can be better people, one of my major downfalls is humility. But is that true. Maybe I am confident and that’s interpreted differently to what I am intending on projecting. I am not naturally confident, some may laugh at that who know me really well. It’s true though sometimes I just don’t consider the consequences. I just go in whole heartedly, giving what ever I am doing my whole heart. There are no grey areas with me, no Inbetween. Just decisions I make or don’t make, some of my better choices I write down in a blog and i do my best to carry them out in my everyday life. Learning everyday to be a better me.

  
I don’t know what you think, but I guess doing your best to be better is a better choice than holding onto the baggage that weighs us down making us sluggish and breeding things like depression, anger, and giving us feelings like hopelessness. If we feel like we are doing our best, what more can we do? If our best is not good enough for someone else who’s problem is that? My opinion is its not my issue but theirs, and one thing that’s a fact is. There is no way I am carrying around someone else’s problems by making them my own.

   

I am happy with who I am, but not so happy that I don’t daily want to become a better me. I wonder what you choose?

Mark