My TVR and me.

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brain, classic, health, nerve, neuropathic, nootropics, pain, tvr, wealth

MY TVR AND ME.

When I bought my TVR, was when someone said I may have cancer and that my life would be compromised because of if. I laugh because I felt fine, no pain what so ever. Just this growing lump in my neck that had gone misdiagnosed for so long. When I first drove my new car and went over the first bump. I realised it was going to need some work, rear shocks were desperately needed and many other jobs were required also. Little did I realise that me and Trev. I call him that because Trevor was the guy that invented TVR. Every car is different, not one curve is the same. There are even some funny stories about how the Chimaea shape, mine became the shape it was. It’s reported that whilst in clay, being shaped by the designer who had his dog with him one day took a chunk out of the bumper next to the indicator. That’s why all Chimareas have two curves next to the indicators. Which are themselves from a Sherman tank. 

I didn’t realise just how similar our journeys were going to be, mine and Trevor’s. Whilst in hospital having my transplant, my friend took the interior out for me and another friend took the interior and sprayed it. Bringing it back to new. This happened whilst I was undergoing my transplant. 

I looked like this.

And Trevor looked like this.

At the same time we were both getting a new beginning, becoming renewed. The only difference between me and the people working on my car. Was that I had a chance of not making it, I know I did and am also getting stronger even though pain is so hard to deal with. I am here to write these blogs. I was encouraged today by another TVR owner that my posts to my blog were inspiring. It gave me a sense of achievement that because of cancer I owned a TVR and because of that connection she got to read my blog. It’s kinda time to thank cancer again isn’t it.  Cancer maybe cruel and things may perish and need repair. But we are far more fragile than any piece of machinery. Whilst we are living longer and medicine is helping to sustain life. Machines are able to be fixed forever should the owner wish for that to happen. 

Everything I put on my car is the best, Bilstien shocks. Updated engine, powder coated struts. It’s all been done right, of course at a cost. But no cost is greater than to put your life on the line is it. Unless you have a passion for something, even if that’s your faith. You will not understand what I am saying. Your are delicate, controlled by a few degrees in temperature higher or lower than should be, your life will cease. It’s the same with my car, except my car is nuts and bolts to most. To me my car is so much more.

You see, a brain is only able to do so much at the same time. Whilst a person is being distracted, a person does not feel the pain. Oh it’s there alright, but your brain is distracted from it. Yesterday I managed to make it to pain clinic, someone had brought in his Samsung VR. You have seen the advert that the Dad records the concert so his daughter can see what he saw.  People that used the VR whilst using it were distracted from their pain. It was still there but the brain was not sending the signal, because to many other things were going on that the brain was otherwise engage. That’s what my TVR does for me, it distracts me from the real world. The world and its treatments have damaged me forever. But driving my car helps me to be distracted from what I am feeling inside. If I try to remember how much pain I was in when driving and I can never remember any at all. Of course I am not saying everyone needs to go out and buy a TVR, or VR system to enable a pain free period. But what I am saying is that, a distraction can help . Only you know what you love, only you know what’s great for you. But what ever you do, make sure you do something that distracts you from the real world. Here are some pics of what my car looks like now and how I look today.

And me.



I guess it’s up to us to do again, or do nothing. For sure when we do nothing it will be more painful, because our brains are not stimulated. So there you go my blog inspired by a TVR called Kate, one called Trevor. Not forgetting Julie.

Let me know if you got something out of this blog.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them hereby to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something tou you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

Copyright ©2017

Love yourself.

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Throughout my life there have been many stages, but one lesson I would say is perhaps the hardest, or maybe took the longest. Was to learn to love myself, you see most people blame situations people, ( I was dealt a bad hand)  my friend says it like. The people in the pub that have a woulda coulda story – if only it was not for such and such. Well it’s all a load of rubbish. Absolute BS. Our future is in our hands but unfortunately, if we don’t live ourselves we will find life is so much harder than it would otherwise be should we be happy with who we are. We have to become that person that when the person who is looking back, your content with. I am not saying the full article because no human is ever the ful article in my opinion. We learn until the day we die if always want to improve ourselves. 

  
I personally want to better today than I was yesterday, I think they call it growing. Always learning and always becoming a better you. Let me put it this way, a house needs solid foundations to last. Without solid foundations there will be cracks in the plaster in time, bricks will move and the house will become unstable. Loving yourself is the foundation for everything we build on top of it, a relationship, the ability to live with your whole heart, holding down a good job, respect from others. No one will respect you if you don’t respect yourself.  

  
I found the right person to marry because I had found myself in travelling Australia, yup that’s what it took for me. It was not till I was 36 and a broken marriage behind me that I became truly happy with the reflection in my mirror. Very late in life I would say, but at least I got there in the end. Cancer has honed me, made me a better more rounded person enabling me to see life through the eyes of a disability. The disability being the disabling treatments that my cancer demanded. In your life you will have your own challenges, but what ever happens in your life love the person who you are before you build a life.

Have a great weekend

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB
https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. 

Chemo Brain.

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achieve, affair, age, animal, attitude, avec, awareness, baby, banned, be live, because, believer, Bellamy, best, birthday, black, blood, bone, BONE MARROW TRANSPLANT, brain, can, cancer, chemo, chemotheropy, Christian, Christmas, Christmaseve, Cole, Compassion, courage, cricket, cruise, CS, dad, David, dead, death, define, Depressed, depression, desire, destiny, diagnosis, did, died, Do, does, Edmonds, empathy, encouragement, energy, England, Eve, expect, Experience, facebook, faith, falling, Families, family, floating, foundations, friends, gallery, gift, gifts, given, goals, GOD, Good, Goodness, great, greatness, guilt, Hannah, hansolo, happiness, happy, hard, healing, health, help, Hodgkins, hope, hospital, Jewish, jobs, Johnny, know, last day, Learn, Leicester, life, lire, Listen, live, lived, Liverpool, London, longevity, Lord'sPrayer, love, loved, Low, machine, marks, marrow, MDU, meal, meaning, memories, memory, Monkey, morph, Morris, motivation, mum, muscle, Muslim, Natalie Cole, Natking, neurology, neutrapeenic, new year, Noel, not, of, oncology, one, one day, onedirection, Paddington, Paris, partner, passion, Peace, people, persevere, precious, Presence, R2D2, raise, real, reality, recover, regret, Rejected, Rejection, relentless, Remember, resolution, rises, Samaritan, SENSATION, Sharing, shortbread, silverback, somebody, southport, Spirituality, square, stage, star, stats, Stemcell, Steve, StevenHawkins, StMichael, stories, strength, struggle, survived, survivor, swopshop, taught, teach, tennis, Thames, thankyou, there, time, today, together, Tohetehr, Tony hart, transplant, Transplanted, travel, tree, true, tvr, twitter, unite, unity, wars, WE, weakness, wealth, wealthy, what, white, who you are, will, win, Wordpress, working, Writing, yang, year, yes, yin, you, yourself

I read an article today on a site called Had cancer, talking about different ways that we feel sometimes years after having had chemotheropy. Some doctors say it does not exsist, (apparently) I have never had this exsperience with doctors myself but then I am quite a large person both physically and in personality. After reading the article I realised that maybe I could write about the very thing that frustrates me so much. So let me explain how it is for me as a cancer patient that like the person who wrote the article. I had cancer!

So for me when I was having chemo, even my first chemo (mine was very strong) it had to be I was at 4 a and in a bad way. Close to losing my life and riddled with cancer. Remember in previous blogs I have talked about chemo feeling like snakes in your head, it did. Sometimes your head even hurts as you remember stuff, but then your brain is a muscle. It has lots of connections in the brain that need to work in a certain way. Now I am not a doctor, but it makes sense to me that maybe the brain has been affected in a small way by the drugs pumped into my body. I do forget things where I didn’t before. So I have to write things down to remember them. Where as before I really never did I just remembered.

Trust me no cancer patient uses it as an excuse, after all who wants to forget? I look like a Pratt sometimes because I repeat myself, repeat myself. Seriously though it’s embarrassing.

  Picture by Fine acupuncture.com
People that have not had cancer will never understand how it affects a human being. How can they, we must excuse their ignorance in not trying to even understand. I have been insulted, even misjudged by people close to me. I have to realise it’s not something they will understand unless they try to. Walking around pointing the finger at someone suffering does not help anyone.

Chemo brain can last for years so if it’s you, know it’s a possible normal for you. It’s frustrating because people may get annoyed at you, no one will understand unless they have researched what you maybe feeling. It does not mean we have lost our intelligence. It means we have been affected by chemothearopy, our memories may not be up to scratch but it does not mean we are inadequate. Far from it, chemo brain is real. But the fact is that chemo brain is much more frustrating for the person with it than it is for the person communicating with that person. Have a great day and know that your not alone, there are I suspect many that will read this and realise that it’s normal and even feel a bit better about it. Because others feel what they do.

Have a good weekend

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB
https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.