My friend Dave.

Tags

Cancer stories, chemotheropy, hope, liver, love, marriage, miriacle

It was nearly a year ago now when I was contacted by Daves wife, at the end of her rope as her husband was suffering on his journey with Cancer. He was not eating, just sleeping and seemingly given up. We had quite a long chat and I told her as it was, to be firm but kind with Dave. It was fairly soon after that Dave began to improve, he began talking to me through Facebook. We laughed and shared moments together that were actually quite private. Another friend of mine organised a meal for some of the people in Cancer stories to meet up, it was fantastic. Dave was the first person I saw, we hugged each other and that was the start of our friendship. A friendship where we both knew what it was like to suffer, we both knew also what it was like to be loved completely like another. I remember being at their home and while we were alone, Dave spoke so fondly of his wife, how much he lived her and how good she was to him. That she had  given him hope and felt that he was stronger with his wife.

It touched me how he felt, His wife Anne told me how they met and how they fell in love. I felt so privalaged to even know these people, I was even given a chocolate eclair which was wonderful. That’s not why I liked them though, they were both so considerate towards me and always asked after my wife. I think it was 3 times we all met for a meal, and even though Dave was having chemo he still came, trusting that everybody at the meal was free from illness. He even pretended on one occasion  that  he was not coming and made my eyes leak when he walked through the door with a beaming smile on his face. Dave read about my fight in the Lancashire Evening Post, thats how he learned about our support group on Cancer stories.

As the weeks went by he became an integral part of Cancer stories. He encouraged people fighting, loved those that were hurting and was conciderate to those that were suffering. Me included. Dave had Liver cancer and whilst I will give out his surname in this blog, I can tell you Dave had the operations required. So that they as a couple might have more time together moving forwards. They have enjoyed days out after his operations, procedures and of course the dreaded chemo. Dave even finished his chemo and was over the moon and life was seemingly awesome, getting stronger eating more and visibly healthier. Smiling from ear to ear when ever we met. 

They came to see us as a couple 3 times I believe and I really enjoyed their company. It was always a pleasure to spend time with them. They were fairly newly married and bounced around like teenagers in love, it’s amazing to see two people enjoying each other like them. I was just so pleased that they had found each other. 

It was barley 2 weeks ago when Dave took a turn for the worse and the cancer began to grow again, he was brave about it and always sent me up beat messages. There is no one on this planet to be more conciderate, more sensitive, and tender as my friend Dave. Anne came to see me last week, Thursday. We had a coffee together and we shared a hug, and she picked up a card one of our cancer stories had sent to her. Anne stayed by Daves side as a pillar of strength though all he had to go through. Yesterday wendsday 6th July 2016 my dear friend lost his fight and breathed his last breath. Yesterday was a hard day for so many as everyone had to come to terms with the fact that he had passed away. My thoughts love and best wishes are with his family Anne’s family and his friends.

Dave was very keen on Golf, he was a Christian, a father, a husband, and a dear friend to many. I personally will miss Dave greatly, but I also have joy in my heart that he was able to have a life that gave so much love to so many. You were and are loved Greatly Dave. Now you are in no pain with the Angels in Heaven, I really enjoyed knowing you and being a part of  life and thank you for being a great friend to me. We may not have known each other long but you touched my heart.

My love and prayers go out to all who Dave loved and all who loved Dave. 

R.I.P. My dear friend 

Fonz

  
http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories.

Copyright © 2016

What we think in our mind is what we will be.

Tags

become, believe, Cancer stories, health, hope, love, wealth

In our minds eye we have a picture of what will be, what we can achieve. Where we think our abilities will take us, what we think we are capable in our lives. Who we can and can’t be in this world, we have an idea that restricts us instead of encouraging us. 
So by having the thoughts you have as to what you can achieve do you understand that that is the very thing that restricts you from becoming more. I have this approach in life ‘if he can, I can’ I used to be passionate about maybe being wealthy, you know the posh house, nice car holiday home ect.

  
Life is not like that anymore, I have changed. My life has changed, I now realise the one thing that makes us happy, and it’s not money or things. It’s contentment, it’s peace, it’s the planet, the creation God has made all around me that matters. The smile on my wife’s face when the dog does something funny. The warmth in my heart that comes from knowing that no matter what happens God loves us.
I so have not been happy having to have this horrendous fight, but the fight has given me many things. It’s shown me the value of life, not things. It’s given me friendships. It’s given me a new perspective on life, people and what truly matters in this life we live. Only we have learnt to dislike people, only we have learnt that different races are different things. Our parents and the news taught us that, I personally think we all bleed the same colour and it matters not what their religious beliefs are.

  
What ever you see in your mind will be, at the start of my fight with cancer I believed I would win, and I did win. I won because I believed it and so many other people believed it around the world, which is why they prayed. 
YOU can be what ever you want to be in this world, it’s you that will or won’t realise your dream. But don’t ever forget what’s really important, family, creation and the very people that care about you every day. We came into this world with nothing and will leave with nothing. That’s a fact. I leave you with this last thought.
It does not matter what you do after someone is gone, what truly matters is what you do in their life. What you say is worthless without a physical out working of what you say. 
Fonz
Follow me, I will follow back. 😊
http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

A reason to do or not to.

Tags

cancer, Cancer stories, carry on, Do, faith, hope, life, perseverance, reason

I do struggle some days, people think maybe that I am just better that there is no fight in recovery. Well let me tell you, or (inform you) that it really does take a long time to recover from any form of treatment. It does not have to be chemotherapy it can be anything. I have had a spate of negativity sent to me, it’s surprising who gets used to dish that out. But sometimes I just feel like throwing the towel in, I get saddened that people’s opinions matter so much to them that they cannot accept another’s as theirs has to be right. On talking to my wife about it, it reaffirmed to me that anyone can write a blog to give folk a different perspective or viewpoint. That it’s nothing to do with me if someone responds negatively, after all there can be no positive with that anyway.

  
I so wanted to find a reason to not do this blog everyday, but I did not find one. Why? Because I always look to the positives of what writing these blogs do for so many, so I could only find my reason to do. There is no reason not to, because doing something that causes a response is better than doing nothing and having no response at all. I come across all sorts of people everyday, just because I write. I do not consider myself to be good at it, my grammar and spelling are not great. But I do speak from my heart, it’s on my sleeve and even though I may be judged for what I write, my spelling, my grammar. I WILL do what I set out to do. To write everyday for 365 days, I hope you find them helpful somehow. Don’t think I am moaning in this blog just telling you how I feel. 

  
So is it not better to find a reason to do, I guess if who ever finds what I write not for them they are the ones that can make the choice not to. It’s about that sentence we have talked about often, to keep moving forwards. To keep moving forwards inch by inch as long as it’s forwards, people’s opinions will always differ, it’s human nature. I am thankful I am able to communicate that I had a certain level of education, although I didn’t do well at English. As you can proberbly tell. Anyway my English is not what my blogs are about. They are about encouraging folk to carry on, to encourage people suffering that they can. That even if you feel you can’t that you have it within them to DO. 

  
So I leave it with you to choose to find your reason to do. Or a reason not to do. That’s your choice, the source you choose to gain that strength is also up to you. But I choose to get mine at the foot of the cross knowing I am nothing without the breath that I breath. We all have our choices to make, and I think the trick is to accept and love ALL people the best we can.

Happy Tuesday,

Mark

The smell of Sunday.

Tags

beef, cancer, Cancer stories, food, happiness, hope, love, perfect

One thing I had growing up was absolutely perfect roast beef. I have tried many times to emulate my mums beef. But never could I do it, until today. See mum had been taught by the best  (grandma) all the recipes I every read recommended 20 mins per pound plus 20 mins. But it never came out succulent like my mums did. It was always chewy, and hard to digest that is until today. I finally mastered it, it seems it’s about what you do with it before hand. The temp it’s cooked on and the amount of time, all combined to make the perfect roast. 

  
It’s all about time, no good thing should be rushed. I remember walking in from church every Sunday to the smell of Sunday, the smell would stay with me forever as the smell of Sunday, as we never seemed to have it on any other day. Roast chicken was also a smell of Sunday, but sometimes we had that midweek so it never really was competition to knock Beef off of the top Sunday smell spot. Even when I smell it now I am still transported back to those times. It’s funny isn’t it how smells do that. What was it Jules said on top gear when describing his Morris minor police car. ” wind the window down 2 inches and smell through the window. Law and order 1968 right there ” you are transported back to that time in your mind. Not 1968 in this case I was just born in that year.

A friend of mine was talking about juicing the other day, he asked me for a suggestion. I said mango and strawberries. He said he could taste that in his mind, can you do that? 

  
Back to the beef, on Halloween we had a roast for lunch so we had plenty in our bellies when we went to our party. I asked the chief how to do it, he responded by saying that the key to a great roast is to seal it on all sides in a pan. Then to cook it for 3 1/2 – 4 hours on a lower heat. Like 150 degrees. I must confess though I did leave the 3 lb joint marinating in maple syrup over night. The knife just glided effortlessly through the meat when I cut it, I hope you can taste in your mind because it tasted absolutely fabulous. So what’s the point in this blog to talk to you about my beef joint? No you know me better than that by now. The point is this.

  
That good things can’t be rushed, that it’s all about foundations. Normally I would have cooked that joint for 1 hr 20 mins on a higher heat and still be chewing it now. Because as most of you know I don’t have any mowlars as most were removed for me to have a bone marrow transplant. It’s about taking your time to get things right not rushing anything. The longer it takes the better it is in most cases. My wife never speeds on the roads. She says “it’s better to be late in this life, than early in the next” 

Have a great week, and take your time.

Mark  

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. It took me an hour to write, but will take you a second to share.

A letter from the House of Commons.

Tags

cancer, Cancer stories, cure, encouragement, fact, faith, forwards, hope, house of commons, life, love, moving, step

Well how are you today? I ask because I am interested, I am not one of these people that asks then wishes I had not when you start to tell me, how indeed you are. I mean it, and respond to everyone that responds to me. You may or may not be aware, of me. It seems many people are starting to read what I write, and what is written by others. Writing here has never been about me wanting anything, it’s always for me been about encouraging people, especially those fighting cancer and anything else hard to face. Having exsperienced it first hand, I have from the bottom of my heart wanted to encourage someone everyday for 365 days. To help just 1 person a day to carry on, to believe they would be able to get to the other end.

  
Oh I know only to well how hard it is, but just to know someone else has won the fight is encouragement in its self right? So I have started this blog you are reading, doing what I set out to do, to continually write to encourage people daily. At times I have grown weary, I have felt like it’s pointless at times. That people don’t read it anyway, I had to fight off all these negative thoughts. Like we all have them, in our own walks of life, I know that. I am just sharing with you my journey.  Then as time went on a faithful few started to share what I write, then people commented. With every comment, and every share it was like energy to me, like coal on a fire is to a steam train. People have kept me fired up, even sending me messages that you don’t see.

You see we all have a place, we all have a position in society. We have choices everyday to bless others or take for ourselves. The most successful people give opportunities to others, or encourage others to move forwards. They are people that help others get to places they hope to get, these people in life make us feel good. They give us the fuel we need to carry on. 

Yesterday one of those people was a conservative MP called Semma Kennedy, she sent me this letter.

  
 
You can’t imagine how I felt, it was totally out of the blue. It stunned me that someone had taken the time to find my address and Mail this to me.  It has given me hope as I hope it gives you hope also, that there are good people out there. People that really do care, and actively show it. After all this blog would not even exsist without it. In the end if we keep moving forwards, there has to be rewards. My rewards are never financial, mine are far more precious than that. My rewards are seeing happiness on others faces, getting all clear reports and knowing someone chose to keep going because they, were encouraged by my storey and writings. They are my rewards, yesterday was one of those days. 

Thank you for reading, and thank you Seema for making my day.

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. It took me an hour to write, but will take you a second to share.

Giving a little, can mean so much.

Tags

cancer, Cancer stories, given, giving, happiness, health, hope, love, reap what you sow, Rita

Yesterday. I wrote about a lady I met called Alice. It was amazing seeing all the comments from around her home town and indeed from around the world. Just how many people were liking reading about her. But why has writing about her been read by so many, it is without question the best day for views my blog has ever had. Why because of a lady who wanted me and my wife to meet her family. I won’t mention Nichola by name but (oops) it’s funny how a chain of kindness had lead to so much happiness.

How just writing a few words, can have such a profound effect on so many people. I can’t tell you how many messages I responded to but it was allot, I just love the circle of life how when we bless someone it blesses us in return. You may not see what your kindness does, but it is a fact that people love hearing about people’s lives. That’s why this is your life did so well I guess, people love to hear good things and great stories.

   

Giving in this selfish world I guess, is unusual. Everybody rushing around trying to make a decent living, undercutting people, making sure that their lives are the best they can be. But I think today has revealed one of life’s secrets, something I have believed for a long time. Me and my wife live by one sentence “you reap what you sow” we can kinda see my blog as sowing seeds daily.m All I have in my head every time I blog is “encourage someone” nothing else. I am finding it amazing how because I am doing this everyday.mi never don’t post. I am committed to doing it for 365 days we are on day 203.

  
Watching a video made by Clare Blackburn and all of the comments people have taken time to write was so special, but this is just the start for me. I have beaten cancer twice and feel fortunate to be alive, my intention is to bless people everyday of the life that remains. It’s like a mission that I am on, to affect people’s lives, to make a difference. To help people to see light where there is darkness, to enjoy seeing faces light up when they are blessed. I just hope it’s infectious and others start to do the same like in the movie paying it forward. Spread a little love

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. It took me an hour to write, but will take you a second to share.

Falling is learning.

Tags

cancer, Cancer stories, past, present

I was first introduced to this concept a long time ago, by a very wise man. Who maybe to many is not seen this way, for me he gave up his time for me when I needed to hear the things he helped me to see about myself. This person helped me to see that falling down in what ever form is actually a good thing. That trials and tribulations is a good thing, that whilst some may see it as a hinderance it’s actually our attitude to it, and our physical response to it that shows the substance of who we actually are. I am talking about those that get up when they get knocked down. Then again get up next time they are knocked down. Not complaining or wanting anyone to see, just getting up and carrying on. 5.50am today which will be yesterday by the time you read this, I was reminded of this concept. I have a friend called Rhys, I remember having my hair cut by him when he was an apprentice. 

  
My words to him were “don’t give up my friend, you have it in you to be a winner” the fact is we all do, it’s just some of us choose to be under the circumstances as apposed to using the circumstances to our advantage. You see, those that do, are those that win. Those that keep moving forwards, they are the people that use the circumstances to drive them. Why? Because we learn from those circumstances. Let me explain.

Again I was taught this early in life, so very simple yet so meaningful. When a person falls down, some are kicked whilst on the floor, bullied even. Why is that, do they deserve it. Of course not, but isn’t it down to how we respond to it that matters, rather than what has happened. People will always let you down, no one has your interests at heart only thier own, they will use you to get what they want. For me it’s  again about response. You see, when you fall for what ever reason. Then get back up, I don’t know if you have noticed but you never get up in the same place. You have moved forwards a step, because you got up. If however you sit for a while then get up, you will have forgotten where you were when you fell. It is only about how YOU respond, no one else will be at fault. 

  
How many times have you heard someone say, it’s not my fault. I have been guilty if it myself, saying sentences like “it’s because” “well if” no no no, it’s down to you, learn by getting up. Believe in yourself as opposed to blaming your surroundings or situations you find yourself in. Another friend calls her cancer ” a bump in the road ” I admire people like that. Get up and move forwards, you and only you can change your destiny, it starts with you getting up, dusting yourself off and stepping forwards. Feel challenged? Great, then you will learn today something you would not have, had you not chosen to get up and step forwards.

  
I myself have turned cancer on its head, making something seemingly horrific (which it is) into something that blesses others every day that I write. Well I believe it will help someone everyday, you don’t have to have suffered cancer to get something out of what is written here. Please share it on social media, I can’t control what you do but ask that if it’s resinated something with you, click the share button. I can assure you, that could affect someone’s life in a good way changing the direction they are heading. 

  
Feel free to let me know what the result was. I love results can’t stand excuses.

Have a great week,

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. It took me an hour to write, but will take you a second to share.

Time for some honesty.

Tags

Cancer stories, energy, fatigue, fulfilment, hope, living, love, reality, recovery, work

Dont think by the title of this that I am not honest with myself, because I most certainly am. The truth is though I have been feeling quite lonely, like I am a spare part. You see when your in treatment your busy, your visiting hospitals all the time. Your doctors become your friend, being woken up in the night because your pic line is wrapped around your neck becomes the norm. I don’t have any of that now, just this journey called recovery. It’s like life has come to a screeching halt, and after life was so packed full of visits, I need to do something more and I am starting to put pressure on myself to do that. That’s not good, I can’t feel stress like I used to, I can’t live my life in the rat race anymore. Why did I get cancer in the first place, well I think it was brought on by neighbours that drank till silly hours of the morning, when we both needed to be up for work the next day. Knocking on the walls, throwing bottles over the fence and sleeping in till ridiculous o’clock.

  
I like to sort problems out there and then, but there was non of that with these people they seemed to be on self destruct. My blood boiled every night, I had my fists clenched most evenings because of it. Their TV was mounted on the wall that was an adjoining wall, which always was at high volume. It was a horrific 4 years. The house we live in now has no such problems, we don’t have a connecting wall with a Nieghbour and feel fortunate to have good neighbours around us. Sometimes you have to make your own luck in life though don’t we,  we have to make a move that will make life easier and better. 

  
We have been very fortunate in my cancer journey, people from all over the world have supported us, as far away as Australia. When I think about going back to work ( it’s been a long time ) I can’t help thinking that helping people is where I need to be, comforting families and being compassionate towards others that are fighting. Really I need to be dedicating my life to doing that not building an empire. Putting pressure on myself to earn a decent income again, there are opportunities out there that I think I will have a go at, but have no exspectations of income.   

Even whilst on my own journey, I have reached out to others offering a helping hand. I actually found it helped me to reach out, I felt needed and appreciated. Now it just feels like I am being lazy, getting my strength back is so important. People are always commenting how healthy I look, how amazed they are at how well I look. That’s just the outside though, trust me it does not feel like that from inside. I still feel tired allot, and feel that walking is an effort, you won’t ever see that when you look at me. You will just see a determined man, doing his best to give the best of me to my wife. Cancer fatigue is like wading through thick mud as you step forwards, it’s not like a normal tired where a little sleep will sort you out. It’s hard to exsplain unless you have felt it yourself.

  
I just felt today that I needed to tell you how it is, that it’s not all as rosey as it may appear from the outside. That also if your feeling something similar to me, that you are not alone, that it’s normal. I most certainly need a new challenge but for now until I find that new challenge that fits in with my situation in recovery then I will continue to write here, I WILL continue to DO. I guess I give myself a hard time, but if I don’t who can. I am almost convincing myself writing this singular blog. To stop blogging and get back on with my book. I have not picked it up for a while because someone discourages me from writing it, saying no one will want to read about me. But you know what, it’s time to listen to myself. It’s time to complete what I set out to do, there are people out there that have encouraged me no matter what, and I should blank out the rest and just focus on the positives. Listen to the advice despensed in that blog called fonzandcancer. 

  
Forgive me for my ramblings. No prizes for guessing what I am doing today.

I hope you have a great day, and thanks for reading.

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. It took me an hour to write, but will take you a second to share.

Kill me if you dare.

Tags

belief, cancer, Cancer stories, exsperience, hope, Laughter, love, loved, survived, survivor

That’s my attitude to cancer, myself as a person am way to stubborn to allow a disease to take away my freedom. To control my life, to dictate to me for long periods. My brother once said to me, “we allow visits from cancer, but never to stay.” My first blog was just these words. “I am Mark, a cancer fighter. I WILL WIN” I was determined unwaivered from my end goal to beat cancer. I know doctors dish out statements  like how long you have to live, the amount of chemo that’s required. All sorts of pharmaceutical prescriptions, and although some work we are as humans finding out ways to combat cancer using natural solutions. I say over and over again, we are what we eat and we should all be very cautious about what we put inside our bodies.

  
Of course you can’t really educate yourself with a passion until you have been touched by cancer, we learn to look after ourselves by how hard we have had to fight. Please understand I am not a doctor I just speak of what I have learnt on my journey. I am in no way telling you how to be, just what’s working for myself. I have many friends with completely different ideas, I find it interesting hearing people’s opinions and outcomes of thier own trials. As a friend of mine said the other day, it’s about putting quality food into our bodies grown to the highest standard, produced naturally not enhanced by chemicals. I think he is right, but that’s my own opinion. Oh how I love opinions, they can’t be wrong can they, because no ones opinion can be challenged just disagreed with. But exsperience can’t even be disagreed with, because it is just that. Thier exsperience. It can’t be challenged, it is after all something that’s happened to the person. As a consequence of that exsperience an opinion is formed.

  
I found a new love in writing, a new journey that will take me where ever I want it to take me. It’s certainly a trip, and one I absolutely love. Maybe one day I may have an opportunity to make something from it. Of course if you have read them all you will know that my mind has been changed, because of the journey I have found myself in. New ways of thinking, new thought patterns, new friends, losing who thought were my very best friends, but finding out who are true and honest, dependable and upright. Even losing friendships has strengthened me and helped me to realise what and who is and are important to us both. 

  
I don’t get it right all the time, I am human but one thing is for sure, life is so satisfying these days. I have a friend who I have never met, well a few. The person I think of is a lady, her name is Sue. Everyday I write she encourages me, it’s admirable and energising for me. She helps me to blog everyday just by reading and commenting on what is written here. I do struggle sometimes just to get stuff down especially over the past 2 weeks whilst I have been unwell. But I am sure of this one fact. That we are all here to benefit each other, and it’s up to us to choose to do that in whatever capacity that may be. Stand strong, never give up, not ever, dare to keep moving forwards never ever losing site of your goal. YOU WILL WIN.

Have a great week.

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. It took me an hour to write, but will take you a second to share.

NED.

Tags

beat, cacer, Cancer stories, cancers, desease, fight, live, NED, reality, survivor, win

I am a member of a group on Facebook, like the one I run. Only it’s a survivors group for people that have had cancer in the neck and or head. It’s a great group, people offer support for each other and share their own experiences. As you all know I thrive off making seemingly negative situations into positive ones. Life is a learning curve and on our journeys there are words and phrases I am learning even abbreviations. Like this blog is. 

  

I read about a persons worry, that they were to have their test tomorrow to make sure cancer was still at bay. She continued to write please pray for NED. I could not work out why she was calling herself NED, her name did not abrieviate to that. Had to use my friend Google to find out, it took a couple of scrolls to find out, that NED was actually very positive. It’s something every cancer sufferer, caregiver, and family member wants to hear for the person close to them. Something we all fight for, then hope to keep.

  

It’s amazing though that some people will never ever have to worry about what NED means. If it means nothing to you, then I am very pleased for you. Because you obviously have lived life with (No Evidence of Desease) how fortunate a position to be in, to not have to fight to rid yourself something life threatening. Your in a privalaged position right. Well that got me thinking how I think, I won’t listen to negativity, do my best not to involve myself in negativity, and do my best to offer constructive statements.  What if though that by knowing what it’s like to become NED! We enjoy living life more, because I know for sure that I want to enjoy each day that I live all the more.

  

Isn’t life about speaking life to each other, let’s use an example. Something someone said to me today.  You choose which of these questions is best.

“Are you recovering from your holiday”

“I hope you enjoyed your holiday”

One expects a positive response the other a negative one. The one a person chooses to say is how they exspect life to treat them. I personally like to go on holiday to relax not to become ill, although on this occasion being stuck on the apron for 4 1/2 hours being served warm water in economy, has most certainly made us both unwell. 

I am most certainly on the mend from my infection, which is a relief. But learning what NED means is what I want for everyone, what I hope for for everyone. I guess it does start with our attitude to life, how we responded to situations in life up to this point. I for one feel fortunate that I go for the positive bless people approach and I learnt this way because I had to become NED. It’s because I had to fight for NED that I realise what the outcome of positivity can bring. That makes me thankful to have had cancer, and thankful that I am now myself NED. Please remember those that are fighting to be NED themselves in your prayers.  Whilst if you are NED being grateful for each day we have with no evidence of Desease.  Life is for living, for loving those in it, giving positivity where ever possible. 

  

Thank God for NED.

Have a great day

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. It took me an hour to write, but will take you a second to share.

We choose what we become.

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It’s true isn’t it? Life is just a bunch of choices, some say that some choices are bad. I say some choices we learn from. It very much depends on our reaction to the choice that we make. As I have said before, it’s not about focusing on a seemingly negative decision or situation. It’s how we respond that really matters. We met a lovely man today, he was with his two daughters and another male friend. Of course my first reaction was that they had given their wives a break by having the girls with them for breakfast. My how wrong I was, as we talked I realised that not only were they together, but they had adopted those two dear children. They had done a beautiful thing, they had given 2 children a happy home. It was very clear to see how loved they were, paving the way maybe for others to do the same.

  
We ourselves have it in our hearts to do the same, to adopt a child that needs a home. It was almost like I was being spoken to through this situation, being shown what life would be like to have adopted children in our lives. It was an amazing thing to see,  to see that those children had a loving home, were cared for and loved greatly.  we are here to encourage, love and inspire, whilst leading by example. I just accepted them. 

 
 When we left breakfast, one of the children who I had been talking to in Donald Duck. Asked her dad this question. “Daddy can I write my name, for Marco Polo”? They were French speaking. Of course she did photo attached, her sister gave me a sticker which is on my I pad and they blew us a kiss as we left. What a privalage to be given those minutes with that family. How heart warming that I now have that memory. Yet all of that would never have happened if I took a different approach. 

  
What matters is that happiness exsists in their lives, they will make their own choices right or wrong when they are older. Acceptance is amazing, and should be cherished. A loving home is priceless, which brings me to my next blog. But for today I will leave you with a song, that me and an old friend used to play, that I hoped one day my life would be like. Just listen to the words. Because I now have in my life the words to the song.

Have a great day.

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.

My Andie

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I guess there is more than 1 person that’s compatible with another person. But for me there is only one that has filled that void. Only one person that I can call my soul mate, her name is Andie. She has remained by my side through thick and thin, she is a person that will stay by my side even when it’s raining and the world seems to be against us. She says this statement often.

   
“It’s not the people who sit with you in the limo, drinking champagne we call friends. It’s the ones that help push, when it breaks down. They are your real friends.” There is no doubt that she does that, and I hope she feels that it’s reciprocated.

  
There is no one on this planet like my Andrea, she has proved her love for me over and over again. To have her by my side makes me not only feel stronger, but makes me believe in the us that is our marriage. We are tough, we are sensitive, we are caring, but most of all we are secure with each other in the knowledge that there is an us.

  
My wife is the person that supports my choices even if some may not agree, she is like the strength in my weakness. She is my guide when I see no light, my warmth when I feel cold. She is  positive when I see no way out, Andie is my grace when I lack faith. She helps me to see a way where there appears to be a road block. She is my reason, when I feel deflated. Andie is faithful and strong, giving even when she feels she has nothing left to give. There is only one Andie, that person is my wife, and my life. I give myself to her and her alone forsaking all others.

  
Andie has been my dependable rock, someone who I am able to rely on. She makes me proud to married to her, and I feel privileged to call her my best friend. Even when cancer appeared to be taking my life, she believed in me and gave me the strength to reach up, have faith and carry on the fight. Andie has believed in me right from the start,  and has never waivered in believing  that I would survive. Everyone needs an Andie in their life. Life is to short to argue, fuss and fight. There is a great strength in WE, and because of the we in us “WE” are stronger. 

  
I hope with my whole heart that you have a similar experience in your life. There is no room to waste time with second bests, you deserve it to yourself to be and have the best you can. Settling for second best is a sad place to be (I know) but enjoying the best takes effort on both sides, maintenance, sensitivity, gentleness, consideration and above all else putting each other first. In the act of putting each other first we find all that 2 humans can give to each other, blessed by one more powerful than us. Known to me as Agape.

  
Giving is a beautiful way to live, putting your partner first is everything. Enjoy each other.

Have a great week

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.

Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.

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It’s only when we think we can’t carry on that we find the real substance of a person. We have all been there, head in your hands feeling that overwhelming feeling of uselessness. That there, is where life begins. Where the real fighters start to live a life. It’s where you find out what a person is truly made of, as I write I am reminded of a time where I decided (seemingly) that I was going to have no more chemo. It was mid way through my first treatment called ABVD. For those that don’t know, my first treatment lasted 6 months. 12 chemo son in all every 2 weeks. It’s such a shame I never documented anything, no diary no thoughts. Just my memory that fails me, that I have to work with. I remember being at the end of what I could bear. 6 was enough and I did not think I could take any more.

  
I had chemo on a Thursday back then, my decision could be a life threatening one as cancer was in my bones, allot of organs as my deceased blood poisoned my whole body. I remember being so stubborn, saying to Andie I can’t, saying I won’t. What was I doing, why did I want to self destruct by not having treatment. I did not know what I know now with regards to diet, and nutrition. It was suicide to not have the treatment I was being offered. You see I was on a trial, which meant they were learning from my treatment. So others could be treated better in the future. The chemo was also an acumalative treatment which means that chemo builds up in my body until cancer can’t live there any more.
Unbeknown to Andie I had spoken to my specialist nurse who had bought me time. The next day 4pm to decide if I would carry on. The whole of Thursday and Friday I did not speak to anyone, dismissing conversations. Feeling genuinely unhappy to be alive, unhappy I had cancer. Exstremly angry that I had even had cancer, every time a canular went in I would cry. It was a horrendous time. A time I like to forget but for a couple of people what I write may make sense so it’s for those people I write this. 

  
That dark day in September 2011 I had given up on life, given up on us. Given up on chemo, I had quite literally agreed with myself that I would die. Life ends here, I will not carry on. I know Andie pleaded with me to not give up, looking around with tears in our eyes. You want to give up on us she said, we were looking for each other all of our lives. It was a very sad dark time, one I have only just now revisited now for you. So that you understand that your not alone, that it’s normal to want to stop the pain. That chemo is most proberbly the worst thing you will ever deal with in a world where pain exsists.

  
I am still here though ain’t I, still trying to encourage people that there IS life after cancer. That it’s down to us to make the right choices. The next day was D day in our house, a day I had to dig in. I remember being knelt down with my arms aloft crying out aloud, asking the God of my understanding to touch me in some way. To help me to find the strength inside of me to carry on, that was a tough old day. A day I had to decide and I alone that I would carry on the battle.

  
That’s when I started to become strong, I started to stand and move forwards. Arranging for my next chemo to start the next week and focusing on finishing treatment for US. That us was important enough to endure this path. The purpose of this blog is to say these words to you. YOU CAN, just stand and move forwards,mbecause you feel at the end of your comfort zone, this is where you will show others what you are made of. The substance you have within, going that one more round when you don’t think you can. Well YOU CAN. TRUST ME.

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.

Hurt makes us stronger.

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Today, is Friday just a normal day you may think. Well to some yes, for us we will be at hospital again having my bloods taken in LIVERPOOL. The place where many would think was a dark place for us, a place where we experienced hurt and pain. But you know me I always flip it around on its head. Hurt can possess us, it can destroy our day, or we can use it for our benifit, it’s our choice really. We decide how we cope with it, not the pain. I mean to say, our attudue to it can change the whole way it effects and impacts our bodies. 

 
Remember this picture, I was having a real bad day that day. But I turned it around by doing something quite literally for you. You see for me giving and the benefits that come with giving far out weigh the the benefits of taking. Givers are happier, givers that don’t count the cost are like warriors on the front line.  There will be someone at work that maybe makes your blood boil. Be nice to them, Jesus teaches us that a gentle answer turns away wrath. I make no apology for the comparasum I am about to make if your not an F1 fan.

Lewis Hamilton, and the Monaco GP. Lewis was instructed by the team to pit (relate it to your own job) when the safety car came out. Lewis’s attitude was what stopped any attempted negativity. Lewis was far out in the lead and to have enough time yo be able to pit and come out in front is nearly impossible. But the team thought Lewis could do it. He came out behind the Ferrari driver and effectively finished 3rd when 1st was in the bag.

The maturatity of Lewis Hamilton was and is stagering, he was so dissapionted you could see it on his face, but he shunned all the negativity away keeping focused. All winners do that in any situation. Keeping focused on the goal that they have set for themselves. His positive goal was to rise, to not let what was going on in others heads affect him. Rather it made him more determined than ever gaining the respect of thousands. 

  
It’s only the same in our lives, we give respect to others and talk quietly how can someone be angry. It’s us that destroys the negativity around any given situation. 

So what will you do? Let your battle win or overcome it today?

Fonz

Follow me, I will follow back. 😊
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Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

Looking back

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Well i have woken up in my own bed, yesterday was a surreal day. A day that came and went like the wind whips past you and then it’s gone. It feels as though I didn’t spend 20 days in that room and go through that hell. It’s like my brain wants me to forget. Like I can’t remember what happened in that room at all, of course I know I was there but, I just feel like my body is trying to protect me from it somehow. 

What I am remembering are the things people that love me did for me in there, my mum and dad in particular. Thier strength of mind and encouragement daily must have been difficult for them everyday. I saw the love of a good friend in his eyes whilst we chatted over a brew on the veranda that Karl made for us whilst living this nightmare.  

 

You see, this has not just affected me its affected many in different ways. The sky ping conversations with people till late in the night. The pure love that was and is shared with this brute of a man that went in there. When I entered that room for the first time, I was afraid. Very afraid of how much of me this journey would take from me. How much would be left of me. Would I be a mere shell of a man, have his spirit taken from me. I was determined to have no words that insinuated, provoked, or were negative. It was successfully done, everybody was amazing. I will not allow anything into my life that’s going to affect myself and my wife in any other way than positively. 

  
This is our side garden, it’s amazing how much we take things for granted, the smells the colours, birds that singthier chorus  for us in the morning. My mum has always been very creative, using her abilities to write stories, poems, make pictures in new ways. With wool and other materials she expresses herself,  I will take more of an interest from now on, not taking my freedom for granted. Cancer may have taken some things from me, like my ability to walk for any length of time and other things. But I have fought for my 

   

I have fought like a warrior to take it back. I have had to slay Demonds in my way, I have had to die to myself. In the bible it speaks of dying to self. Trust me I never understood really what that meant by 

John 12 vs 24-25 very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. 25Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life. 

This has been me over the past 7 years, I have died to myself and have been made anew not only in my Body, but my soul has a whole new out look. Now don’t read this and think the silverback has gone all religious on us. It’s not in my nature to be that way. But it does make you appreciate, who I am created to be. An encourager, a loving husband, a good friend a kind son, a loving brother. Things maybe you already are, but do you ever stop in your busy day to listen and watch the world and be grateful for what we have. Because I will everyday from now on. I thank God for giving me another chance at life, I am so grateful to the team at the royal LIVERPOOL hospital, and the team at southport oncology for all thier parts in preserving my life.

Reach out to someone you have a gripe with today, give them a smile and a coffee and appreciate them. Love the people you find hardest to. It will bring you freedom trust me. 

Love with your whole heart, or not at all. I had many positive conversations with the cleaning lady, that came in my room most days. We became friends, I will never forget her. I looked forward to seeing her everyday, I loved her attitude and ability to stop and rethink what she had thought for years.

  
Bless someone today. I dare you.

Mark

Release day

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When I think back to how I got here I feel rather amazed I have made it. You see on receiving my relapse  diagnosis in October last year, my consultant made a suggestion that I may have to go for a bone marrow transplant. We had no clue how this would happen, would they saw my bones in half and scrape my old bone marrow out. You laugh but I have no idea at this point what or how this was! 

So here it is, the journey of stem cell transplant. I remember arriving at the hospital and going in to see the doc.  I  almost hid in his room, I was moving around a lot and quite obviously agitated, nervous and tearful as he explained all the scary side effects.  Possible heart failure, kidney, lung, liver failures were very real complications. A lady even died in here having a transplant two doors away from me on the unit. Very upsetting for us and all involved; “father please comfort that family in Jesus name”.

The chemo “BEAMS” is relentless; you have to have a Hickman line fitted. I was petrified! 

 

This was mine fitted on the first day. But running up to having a transplant I had many things to do, I needed a pet ct scan, Ct scan,  X-rays, 8 molars to be taken out at the dentist (I have a phobia of the dentist). It went ok but I was so dissapionted, the needle biopsy which took over an hour and was unsuccessful. The op to remove the lump from my neck happened on Christmas Eve. Then there was the dreaded stem cell harvest. 

  

It’s an interesting process, needle in 1 arm entering a machine that separates the stem cells by spinning them in a machine, collecting the stem cells and then putting the remaining blood back into your body. Each collection lasts 4 hours, living still for that time. Peter’s son across from me had gone to get a burger as he had a femoral line in. And was able to be harvested that way. I was so jealous as I couldn’t move my arms at all. I will not bore you with figures but it took 10 consecutive days of injections to boost whit blood cell count before I could go in, boosting stem cell production in the hips, breast plate and long bones which made me ache quite a bit. 

  That’s the machine that does the work.

So going back to my stay in this room, you have BEAMS chemo for 6 days and nights. Constantly attached to the pump on a stand every toilet, shower visit you have cables hanging out of you and beeping whilst you sleep. The feelings you get are like waves washing over you. It’s pretty grim but doable, then the miracle happens; your stem cells are given back to you. It’s amazing science and it truly is a miracle that is life changing.

The whole ward smells, not of me but sweet corn for days after a transplant but the patient cannot smell it at all. The only complication I had was  a slight bug in the line that caused a small and insignificant infection inside my line. It became puss filled around the site etc. But nothing major. I did however feel I was going at some points twice to be exact. But here I am 4.30 am writing this. 

I am apprehensive about leaving my angel button, the button you press and a nurse comes to you and brings you what you need. I did clash with a couple of them and kept some away from me. But on the whole, it was made nice by them all. The doctors really knew their stuff. 

Each day I was in this room, I created things to do. CS being a major distraction 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536/

This group or (let’s have it right) amazing people made up of family, friends and people that have suffered or cared for a sufferer, has been my life line. Set up 2 weeks before diagnosis.

I have realised though that there is no one here to offer emotional support, that has done the time in the room. It’s real difficult when you can’t reach out to someone that has been there. I have however been fortunate that I was able to draw on the experiences of people from all around the world in CS. It’s an amazing place where you can be yourself and there is always someone around the world to chat with that’s up and willing to chat. I thank God for each and every one.

 
Here is a screen shot of some of the site. Don’t be afraid to join we will accept you for who you are. The impact on your body your not ready for at all and you change who you are for a week in here. Whilst you are neutrapenic  ( o.oo ) on all blood counts except a few.

Ok so it’s all done, and now after my pentamidine I will be going home, wow!!! It’s gonna be a reality soon. Me  and Andie who has been by my bed from 11-8 every day washed my clothes and cared for me will be going home. I really want a pic outside under the hospital sign. Like rocky on the steps of Philadelphia. It will be my own significant of the END of a 7 year long battle. 

I have done all I can to face this head on, never once did I say “why me” just “I can”  I learned yesterday a friend of mine died of cancer whilst in here. How very cruel this disease is. The treatment I had was the most inhumain thing I have done in my  life so let’s hope it keeps it at bay, so I can bless many people in the future.  

 
Without my line in.

Please follow my blogs and comment I don’t know whether my way of sharing is beneficial to you or just boring. I just don’t know but I would appreciate feedback. Please join our group as well. There are people as far as California, and Australia with us. 

Well speak tomorrow and I will let you all now how release day has gone. Going back to sleep then it’s onwards and upwards to my new life.. Rejoice with me. 

Have a great day!

Mark 

I am not defined by Cancer

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I have tried to stay away whilst in isolation from my  Cancer journey in here and what hell I have been through, I still am going to do that. My life is not about Cancer it’s about me, us. Who we are together that defines us. The friends we choose that become our family. You can generally tell if someone loves you just by how they respond to you, support you. How they are around you. I see it like this if you don’t have to hide the real you, you speak how you speak to them. Then you are talking to a friend, if you have to adjust who you are then your not with a friend.

   
This is what true friendship looks like. 

  
Although this is family, I believe all friendships are the family we choose. All the way through this journey of isolation I have looked at this picture more than once a day. We will do the same again 1 day, if you can’t be yourself you have the wrong mates in my opinion.

So now it’s release time, I will have my hicc line removed today, and be given discharge advice and leave the safety of isolation. I think this picture explains what’s about to happen.

  
These boats are safer in the harbour but just out of sight is the  big ocean, it’s a mixture of emotions leaving here. You have been safe here but I am about to leave hospital and go home where I will be safe also. I don’t have to go to that sea but there will come a time when I will. I am not fearful, I have done all I can to beat this flushing my bones with chemo, and giving myself a chance at life. 

Ticking off some things I want to do with this new life I have been given. I will dedicate my life to encouraging others. Helping others that want help. Whilst also doing the things I have dreamt of. I will aim to fulfull goals and ambitions.

Be taken around a track in an F1 car for instance, doing some track days. Maybe building my dream kit car an ac cobra. Or buying one already made.   

I will do more with my mum and dad, my family and friends. I will give more of my time to my wife and start living a more balanced life. But most of all I am going to be me. I will not waste my time with wallowers, people that moan about where someone parks their car.  

 
I am gonna live and love to the best of my ability. I hope you do to. 

This song was dedicated to me by a dear friend before I came in. I have it on repeat today

Mark 

We can dream

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So, it’s a glorious sunny day here looking out over the river Mersey from my executive box. A place I want to forget about. Hopefully this will be the week when I go back to my family (a tear rolls) don’t get your hopes up Mark what will be will be. It’s that  I am working towards, the dream of feeling my wife’s skin next to mine having beaten death. Being in the same room as my dog Faith. Hugging my family, my dear friends who have been there for me. Oh and our new friends replacing old ones that seem to have nothing to say.

I have been having nightmares in here, so what I do is replace them in the morning with dreams like this. 

 

And this

  
You may have other dreams, seeing your grandchild. Going on holidays, riding a yacht in the med. going to a F1 Grand Prix. 

If we bring F1 into the mix it’s not just the watching I would like to do I dream of doing a circuit with one of the British drivers Lewis or Jenson (we have a cat named after Jenson) I dream of meeting people in the know. Chatting to Nigel about that terrible yr that he should have won, the fierce rivalry between piquet and mansel.

 
I dream of a garage like this, a man cave full of eye candy. I believe this. It’s very simple.

“If you don’t have a dream, how can we make one come true.” There is only 1 stumbling block in the way of it. YOU. ME. It’s not about how far out of reach it is that’s you, telling yourself that. YOU can be what ever you want to be. You CAN achieve your goals. 

Don’t be the person that says “that’s a good idea” then does nothing but put on coronation street or some other time stealing programme on tv.

Be that person that stands up moving the chair backwards in the motion of standing. Then doing, it’s so easy to come up with excuses. Statements like “i am set in my ways now” bull n you know it. “It’s to much hassle” if it was easy everybody would be doing it. 

“I am happy with my life” if that’s the case you should never say things like “if only” “I wish” “could really do with” I am overjoyed for you if you are happy with your life. 

I truly am happy with who I am, happy I have done all I can to sustain my life. Happy with my wife, life and looking to find people that will inspire me to affect others lives. Helping them not only to achieve what they strive for but also, to believe they have the fight within them to beat Cancer also.

  
This is a friend of mines a vintage racing driver. ‘Peter candy’ Google him he is amazing also a courageous man that has had his own fights as well. I love that man, because of his passionate nature.

  
Don’t hold back on your dreams, you have been given the gift of life. Use it, don’t waste it. Get out there and have some amazing times. Concentrate on siezing your day. 

What your still on the sofa? I have had and am still doing, having the fight of my life. I WILL win. There is no way I can lose. Because negatives are booted out if they even try to enter my head.

Be content of course, but make your dream a reality what ever it is. My immidiate goal is to beat this desease. 

If I can you can, now go on make it happen. Just make it happen. Mark

It’s all about faith.

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This blog is about our dog, female called Faith. This is her.

  
The story leading up to buying Faith was quite a sad journey as I was so very close to death. I had to conquer stage 4a Hodgkin’s lymphoma.  I had been given weeks to live, months at best I may have seen Christmas and it was May 2011 when I was diagnosed. We were newly married crazy in love and passionate. We had just moved to our beautiful home in the country life was perfect.right up until that day I sat in front of the consultant, along with a student nurse and a few others in the room. I was in the chair holding a Nike cap with “just do it” written on it. The next moments changed us and our lives forever. The words “you have Cancer” are all I heard that day.

 
Faith was not even born then, but as I progressed through the horrendous process I had to have Faith, to believe I would win. To believe I would survive. Have Faith in myself and those around me for support. Faith in God that I would be made whole again. Life can be a tough old journey, people that were life long friends stopped talking to me, the same has happened again this time whilst fighting it. Sentences like “Iam here for you” are useless. “You know where we are” “chin up” just a few that are said by people that have quite obviously never had this amount of trauma. It’s not their fault, but not communicating with a Cancer suffer is just unforgivable and irritreavable. 

  
You find yourself in a lonely barren place, a place where each day is stepping into darkness. You quite literally have to have faith. Not like you do when you sit on a chair, believing it will hold you, when you sit on it. It’s like stepping into darkness without a torch. You need people around you, but you can’t cry out because your in the darkness. You forget who you have spoken to, forget what you need to do. You quite literally loose your mind. Your focus, and quite literally your life for a time.

You dig in so hard and achieve more than you ever thought you could.

So on getting into remission, I told My wife i wanted a dog. My brother already had a choc lab and I was very keen to have a lab. We agreed and we went to see our now friends, there was a few of them 8 in all. Here are some pix

   
  

   

Faith was the only puppy that seemed to have a mind of her own and an independence from the rest. An adventurer. She was a girl and this was the first time she saw her dad.

  
Why am I telling you all this, well it’s to encourage you really. If your thinking you should be supporting a Cancer sufferer then you really should. It’s not what you say, it’s what you do for a suffer that matters. We can’t waste our time with people that can’t be bothered we have to much to contend with. Our bodies riddled, our minds full of horrible things, and thoughts. The word is “love” them through it. They will not make right choices whilst having chemo it’s down to you to make the difference. 

We are fortunate to not only have actual Faith but true Faith as well. What I share with you is part of a journey that has made me who I am today. Have faith and step out into the darkness there is always an angel with if you have faith.

Fonz

@fonzmark

Instagram @dogrupher

@fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share

with others, if it meant something to you, it will to some

one else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post!

Will you?

Copyright ©2015

Super heroes

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what do you want to be? What drives you, what Spurs you on. Well do you mind if I attempt to tell you what drives me. my world has changed dramatically in the last 10 years. My ideas were always about chasing money, wealth to achieve happiness. I am a really keen F1 fan and I remember a quote from Ron Dennis which rings true in my mind “money is only a problem if you don’t have any” it’s so true. I was always striving for the next big thing, the next quick money making scheme , I was driven by greed. I was driven by what I had, not what I could give. 

As I have gotten older I realise the words of the Robbie Williams song “youth is wasted on the young”from the song eternity. It really is, because by the time you realise what’s real important in life, it’s to late and we are not young anymore. http://youtu.be/P0aZNEXdFCE

  
My life has been turned inside out and upside down, learningn to use this strong body and mind in many different ways over the years. Although never more so in this room, solitude in isolation has helped find what’s of real importance. I am sure I will never be annoyed by birds doings on my car again. I will enjoy the love of my family whole heartedly. I will never exspect again, only cherish and cultivate that which has become so very dear to me. “Life” 

 

Picture above will be me when I leave here, although it will take 3 months to get strong enough to be like this doggy.

I want to Dance like no one is watching again.

  
Never looking back just moving forwards to the goal that is the most very important.Have you figured it out yet? what the most important thing on earth we can process is? It’s a bit of a trick question really. Because it can’t be bought, you can’t gaze at it like my beutiful TVR.

  
It’s not something you can touch or hold, it’s so precious it’s priceless. What I speak of comes from within, it comes from contentment, it comes from being at peace however you find that. It comes from spiritual contentment and being able to just LET God.

I am classed by some kids of people we love, as a superhero, so one who is indestructible. I am not indistructble I am just as delicate as the next man. 1 thing I am though and that’s Happy. That’s the key to all these eliments put together. Happiness. See if we have that we are wealthy, rich and abounding with beauty with in us. Loving yourself is an amazing thing. I mean who’s gonna turn round and tell me or you that your not happy only you know that, only you know how you are inside.

  
Have a great day and I hope you to will become happy inside with your choices as opposed to striving for more which just makes us slaves. I want to help people with Cancer forever. I want to encourage people everyday to be better people. Giving fulfils us inside, giving warms our hearts like we have never know.

You gonna do that today? Give to someone and make you happy?

I hope so.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

Failure is not an option

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Somewhere somebody is laughing, somewhere somebody is falling In love, going to bed, dancing, making something, caring for someone. Somewhere there is love going on, being given unconditionally to someone. Your special, because you have the ability to do something positive. You have even if your body does not function as it should (like mine right now) to give something special to someone. 

As I think about Deanna the other side of the pond I hurt knowing she will have chemo today, but I also feel joy because somebody is looking after her. She will have smiles that will be given to her as she faces the horrible chemicals, and the effects it has on her memory and state of mind. I know she is strong, but that does not stop anyone feeling weak.

  
It’s amazing how much we can encourage someone with a smile and a positive input.  In the words of  Vicky gundlach 

“When it hurts to look back, and your scared to look ahead, look beside you – your best friend will be there. It’s so true in my experience. My wife has been here for me throughout all of this, she has laughed cried, been frightened but never stopped loving me through this. Throughout our 11 years together we have seen struggles, in all walks of our life but the pleasures far out weigh any sadness we may have faced.

Remember the silverback spirit I spoke of a little while ago. Well I have to do that again now, to get this finished so I can be out there making someone happy, comforting a person that needs me. 

  
I am going to win this battle, when I entered here this small box. I was told there is a chance it may not work and I may not live through it. The options were 18 months of life of facing this horrible transplant. I will are all we are going to do. Failure is not an option.

Go out there and Do, just do. Love is an amazing gift. It’s also free.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2015

Silverback attitude.

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The silver back
In my opinion, a silverback has an amazing attitude. It’s a nick name I have had for some time. You see a silverback does not sit and contemplate. A silver back is a go getter, an animal that lets nothing stop him from achieving his goal. They are the Dodge Charger or TVR or a Ferrari of the animal world. They sound amazing as well as being a mountain of power and muscle.

  
But is that it, is that all that’s in the armoury of a silver back. I don’t think so, they have an ability to be able to touch gently, and love the little ones in the group of gorillas. 
The silver back is not to be annoyed though, the roar and power must be terrifying to the rest of the group. The smaller gorillas running up trees using their agility to escape the mass of the powerful Gorilla. They beat on their chests as a show of strength. 
I relay all the attributes of the silver back to everyday life, it’s up to us what we choose. We can be the one that has agility and escapes using our speed and stealth or we can be the Tanasious silverback, relentless and never giving up.
It’s like that having Cancer, we have choices. Whilst stuck in this room for 16 days now I have had the choice to leave, run away and give up should I choose to do so. Run up a tree and hide rather than face head on what’s needed to be done, to beat this small spineless disease. They call Cancer.
I have chosen to adopt the silverback attitude though, because not only do they have the drive and belief that they WILL win. They make sure they do. Never ever doubting what they are capable of.
I have been given a strength from God that I never ever doubt, I will not give up and I WILL win. Don’t let what ever it is stand in your way, make it happen. Stop talking and start doing.

  
Adopt the silverback mind set and achieve your goals, don’t be that person that’s says ” well I could have” be the person that says “I will do”
You still reading? Have a great silver back day.
Mark

Seize the day

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Sieze the day

Back in 2003 I sold my house in Preston put all my property in storage and got my dad to drop me off at airport.

sat at the airport with a rucksack and a load of money it was going to be an adventure, seizing everyday. A time to find out who I was, as I sit here in isolation disconnected from the world 1 of the only ways to keep sane is to remove yourself from the situation in your mind. So right now I have just landed in Perth. I was to meet a guy with an Aston villa top on, never having met him I had no idea what to expect. He was a short stocky guy with a bald head. We smiled at each other and that familia sound of that horrible Midlands accent came out. But it was kinda diluted by a Aussie twang and sounded quite cool.

  
Many things where to happen before me but after he feel asleep at work and printed 38 pages off of the letter p that was the end I had to leave. I had bought a car, picture below. Blow up mattress in the back and off I went on the adventure of my life.

  
To places with 2 Swedish girls with me, the most boring girls I had ever met in my life. I was not to leave them until I got to Albany where I just got up real early got money off them for the fuel they owed me and drove off to Esperance. 

I wanted to seize the day, to make something happen daily, I was full of energy fight and passion. I am sure I will expand on the hippies that played guitars at night in the desert, the people in thier 60s with every conceivable contraption. The girl on a Harley, my friend with his 4×4. We all had the carpe diem attitude. People are amazing, and so are you. Seize your day.

Esperance is where I will leave writing this blog today. But the point of this blog is to say. You have amazing u inside you, you just have to be willing to allow yourself to find it. Love you, don’t take any negatives from anyone. Be the best you can be, love the best of your ability but most of all find the real you. The you that’s amazing, refuse anything the world says and protect your heart and what you believe in.
You are unique and no one is on YOUR journey.
  

  

mark

Power of forgiveness

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The power of forgiveness
In life there are many hurdles, some are quite nice and are not an endurance others are a real struggle. Most however require honesty, mostly with yourself. You see if your happy with who you are, you more often than not make the right choices. The only thing we can’t do is make other people’s for them.

  
We have to learn to accept people for who they are, which I find real hard as my standards in people are so great. I won’t settle for second best, I won’t stand for wishy washy people, that have self richeous opinions. But what I do try to be is honest with all people, which gets me into trouble sometimes. 
Who is right, I am open to opinions. One thing I am very aware of is that forgiveness sets others free and no matter what I think or what my opinion is, it’s my obligation to help others be at peace. 

  
Oh I know it’s hard to hold out an olive branch, because some folk crush the olives and run off with the olive oil. Whilst in this small box I have had hundreds literally of people communicating with me sending me love and best wishes, funny though how some you think will be there think that I am so strong I don’t need them.
The love of good people is amazing. Riches are not found in gold they are found in your heart. By giving to others you don’t empty yourself of you. You find you just get stronger and stronger. 

  
That was the major mistake I made last time I had Cancer. I shut myself in a room did my chemo and went home every time what a waste that was.. I feel so angry with myself that I did that, the offshoot or benefit. I guess is that I have whole heartedly thrown myself at CS 
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536
It’s grown so big I struggle to keep up to date and has become a full time job quite literally. Passing the ball from person to person as the time difference changes so there is always someone there to help or encourage. It’s an amazing gift to share with folk hope, love and compassion. God our maker helps us be who we are, all we have to do is reach out and just LET. It’s been my hardest lesson to learn of my life. But now at 46 isolated in hospital with Cancer I get it. To late? No way it’s never to late.
I pray this prayer, “God use me to bless others” I hope you do to. 
Mark

please ask

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Please GOD never allow anyone here to feel this weak. Put my TVR in front of me I would not even be able to get in it… Wow…. Truly truly I know what a man feels like on his death bed. I don’t know or how how but I just hold on. It’s a ride I have no control over what so ever. But please ask the Angels to come and protect me. Please ask… 😢
  

Positive (in isolation)

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Becoming more positive (Cancer battle continues)
At the start of day, we were full of positive energy, that was the start of yesterday, tunes pumping upbeat, positive energy. Even when my body did start to dip I was still looking and finding positives. It’s such a shame FaceTime was so bad a connection last night. But at least I had a conversation with the man I needed to who understands. Not only the human body in depth but has faced times like this before. I so wish I had a bike Stepper of like. But I do press ups and walk around nearly all day.
We both, (me and my wife) find ways of coping, I don’t think my Andie would ever see me this way, nor did I if the truth be known. Funny isn’t it how a strong man, never gets asked how he is. Only my true friends have ever done that.

  
I drift off on holidays in my mind, face demons head on, and keep inching forwards. Yesterday afternoon I found I was not in any control of my emotions what so ever. The tequniques I had been using did not work. I got hugly depressed (not suicidal) but actually wanted to say a word no one is allowed to say in my room. It has can in it with a t at the end of the word. Your not allowed to say that here, no matter what your focus has to be about that moment in time. Never looking to far forwards. The tunnel annalegy is incorrect in here. (Iam finding anyway) I use my dads theory more now of dealing with each moment and getting through that. Only focusing on tomorrow when it arrives. 

 
 In where u don’t find positives, u have to find them somewhere. U have to actively search. My Twitter feed @fonzmark is just full of positive quote after positive. 
Please know I will rise again and I will do this (focus bk Skyman) it’s not a journey anyone can do. It takes guts to have the strength of mind when u don’t have a functioning mind in the first place. (Because treatment is destroying who you are) 
1 thing I have learned, there is no such thing as a normal day in here. You can’t exsect certain things to happen u just have mins to deal with that are IMPOSSIBLE that somehow you make possible.
I hope this helps u all. But seriously going to work, screaming kids, these are all minute details we just do. In here its a creation of a day everyday. All this info whilst not had these times of despair before will help others that have to walk this walk in the future. 
But we are here, I don’t get any help from some people at all, shameful self obsessed people that think they are … Well no idea, they just watch. I wanna say more but I must try my best to get some hours under my belt that will be ticked off whilst I sleep. Day +5 now means day after tomorrow I will start to come back +6 is today’s focus. I am thank ful for you all. Mark
JUST BLESS SOMEONE NO MATTER WHAT. 

Sunday happy memories (isolated still)

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Sunday happy memories (isolated still)
As I recall the mind games I played with myself last night, I remember how much passion I felt. I remember how much love I felt for others that are in my life. My wife, my dad, my mum. My brother, my sister, my nephews, sisters in law, brother in law. Isn’t it spectacular how much we have to give within us if we just LET. 
Eg; Right now in my mind. I am dancing with my wife. She is smiling at me our dog is jumping with us we are in the living room by the fire. We have joy in our eyes tears of love for each other. Knowing that we have done the journey together. Listening to “faith” by Calvin Harris off the motion album. Because perfect love casts out ALL fear. 

  
I seemed to have spent most of my life fighting against something that should be treasured. Family. Family is together not apart, family means that you care for each other no matter what. U just Let them be who they are. Accepting them with warts n all, do I do that. I am not so sure but what I do know is that I will never try to fight the love placed in my heart by someone greater than I. The person who created me, the greater power should you believe it (him) to be there. I look at photos that were created for us yesterday from all around the world. I wonder at the amazing beauty that’s all around us everywhere. 
You can’t smell the smells in here, flowers. You can’t hear the bees or the birds tweeting. The air is sterile, it’s a dead world made alive by the beauty of the nurses that care for me everyday. It’s extreme far worse than prison. Because it’s just a room, by remaining and getting stuck in you find out who you really are. The person you were made to be. 

  
Last night I also wrote this.
Just made myself laugh, as its 3 am and I have just told myself I am going through the worse bit now. Worst… When I think back to where the last 7 years have taken me (in a positive manor) the operation on Christmas Eve, having 8 teeth out just to get a transplant, and the many many chemos, hospital visits. Heartbreaking waits for results, going into remission. Finding a lump again. The nightmares, horrible memories that flood back and bring you literally to your knees. What’s a bit of tummy pain and toilet visits in the night really. I mean come on your near the end now. Dig in suck it up and get this done. Remember all the people that have been with me on this journey and are right now. My dear friend who has this journey to go in some small amount of time. You CAN do this. Come on you CAN. There are approx 30 ppl in the uk that have a bone marrow transplant every year for Hodgkins Lymphoma out of 66million people. As my wife was told “how unlucky am I” this is not unlucky this is just a journey to make us stronger NOT weaker. I believe that dad, truly believe it. I will look back at this note 1 day and I hope you do and gain strength from the character that we all have within us. You CAN and you will.

Have a great day 

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

Isolation continues

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Isolation continues.
It’s now day + 3 since my cleaned CANCER FREE cells went back into my body. I am full of strength (as normal) but feel weak. It’s not a can’t be bothered weak like when you have had to much to drink the night before. It’s a weakness that I feel because of the amount of punishment my body has had to endure and I guess as my blood continues to drop to 0.00 it will progressively feel worse. Kidneys are sore and so is my mouth that’s full of ulcers, and it’s painful to eat but tea is very soothing.
That has no effect on my attitude what so ever though, the strong positive words people have said and given to me help me to as my uncle said some time ago. To look at the light at the end of the tunnel and not look back, he was and is right and I have done this everyday whilst in here. 4 more days and I will start my road to recovery, how amazing is that! A tear rolls as I write because the the love of Gods people and the spirit of God (I believe) has protected me in this potentially difficult and dangerous situation. I am not religious although I believe GOD is with me, and I believe Jesus died on the cross to save us from our sins. 
4 more days is nothing compared to the 7 yr fight we (family) have had whilst we have faced this together as 1 unit. 
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536 
is now my extended family and the support from this group means so much to so many people.
We stand together and believe in the power of unity, for where there is unity GOD commands a blessing. I believe that with all my heart and am not going through all this to not encourage and help others to lift their spirits in similar situations. 
Be the best you can be today, yes turn to see where you have been but keep focused on the light. Because as my dear friend keeps telling me, when I stand out in that fresh air a new journey will begin.

  
Have a great day.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

Isolation And Cancer

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In isolation kicking cancers butt is a pretty daunting thing to attack, your mind gets used in ways you have never had to use it before. I find myself at times closing my eyes and drifting off to places I have loved with my wife, friends and family. Going to holiday locations in my mind, places where I felt happy and not sad. The day I picked our Labrador up Faith. Remembering how much of a blessing she is and has been to us. You see for me, I have not had Cancer once, I have had it twice. Endured 3 periods of intensive chemotheropy consisting of 30 days of actual chemo. 

Now I don’t say this to make you feel in anyway sorry for me, quite the opposite. I want to encourage you that what you experience is not always going to drag you to the bottom of despair. The sweet is never the sweet without the sour. Our minds are very powerful and we have no clue just how powerful until we are in a situation that demands that power. The love of good people, the hand stretched out to help you UP not to pull you over. This is how we all need to be to make the world a better place. 

  
Be encouraged today and find someone to encourage, even a smile brightens up someone’s day. A lovely comment is a gift that can be remembered forever. Stretch your mind, fill it with love and dismiss all that the world would have you think as negative. We are born to love not to hate, I only hope this has made the start of your day nice. For me doing something nice from this 15ft x12 ft room fills me with joy. Sending you hope and love today.

  

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

Transplant day

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Today is my new second birthday, why. Because for 7 years I have fought tooth and nail to get here. 8 teeth pulled out 28 days of gruelling chemo. Sickness, aweful tiredness weakness, fatigue, and feelings of hate towards the c word constantly. This has encouraged me to start the group Cancer stories before I got Cancer for the second time. Now in isolation about to have the cells cleaned of Cancer put back into my body to make me Cancer free.

Now I ain’t saying the next weeks will be easy it won’t  I will get ill possibly v I’ll in the next weeks but it’s the just the cruel way Cancer is. I am very upbeat today and am overjoyed at all the messages I am getting on https://www.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536 join in the fun become part of it if Cancer has touched your life in some way. 

Iive your life!!

 

Win what ever fight you have to win and never ever give up. It’s yours to win. 

Today is the most exciting day of my life…

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I cry writing this after a long arduous fight my last chemo goes in tomorrow I know it will be very painfull and maybe the worst day of my life. But that said it will be, so realeasing. I have embraced ALL the doctors have told me to do. I will get very ill afterwards and the day after I will have my bone marrow transplant. Rejoice with me and tell the world. I have met some very inspirational people Ian Botham a cricket hero of mine, others too. But I wonder if you will help me tell the world. It’s all I can write for now. 

I long to be rid of this and start to help others, people will join me I am sure. I want to dedicate my life to helping others although I am in allot of danger in the coming days. Please share. This has been tougher than any journey of my life. Others will walk this path and I want to encourage them to live and not give up.

You can win

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I will never forget the rocky film 4 when Adrian says to Rocky as he is about to fight the Russian. I cried when she said the words “YOU CANT WIN”  that’s what the world would have me believe sat in this room in isolation. This is now day 4 and day 5 is approaching. The strength I am getting from the Cancer stories is amazing, and amazing how much strength others are getting from it to. You to could be part of it as this cruel bone marrow transplant takes place.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/159599874395653

I remember as a small boy, I really wanted a bike but I was only 4. My prayer to God was “I believe I will get a bike thank you God for my bike” I got that bike with solid tyres a few days later. Another prayer I prayed was “Lord I know why you made the blackberries they taste great, but I don’t understand why you made the prickles. Life is like that isn’t it. It’s full of prickles, but also beauty and it’s down to us to look past the Prickles and see the good in every aspect of life.

I Will beat this, why. Because I want to win, and I have an army behind me called Cancer stories  on Facebook link above. These people are all winners, people that believe in human kindness and stay away from negativity. We are warriors, encourages, and all these things bring freedom and success. Make that step in any situation it’s so much easier to make the next. We just gotta have faith and step forward.

Go on be a winner there is nothing like it on earth

Please like my posts so a wider audience sees them Thankyou

 

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram

@fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share

 with others, if it meant something to you, it will to some

one

 else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright ©2015

Destiny finding yourself.

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All I say are my opinions based on my experiences. I mean to say who knows who we are, do others really know. I don’t think many of us actually want to talk about you, it’s themselves they are interested in. It’s something I try everyday to avoid talking about myself. Although in isolation you find many of the nurses really do care and it is about saving my life so I invariably do become the topic of conversation. Although I always like to ask how others are feeling. Ask about their lives children ect. When we do this we become close to people they begin to like us. A person who I always considered a friend told me yesterday that she thought I was quite sharp tonged and hurt people with my words. She apologised to me yesterday which I will do for her today also.

Forgiveness and trust are the 2 most important things in a person. It’s very humbling when we feel that we are being treated well and given to even without us giving back.

So how do we find ourselves, so many of us spend our lives doing things to please others, instead of having a goal and striving to obtain it. Before I met my lovely wife I was a crazy guy, bed hopping and never wanting to commit to anyone leaving a destructive trail of broken hearts behind me.

I had a home a Audi Quattro turbo lots of nice things but a broken marriage and a broken heart. I did not love people fully, I allowed myself to be destructive sometimes far to aggressive.

It was only when I travelled Australia I found the meaning of life, that it was not about me. I cry typing because if only I had realised what the key to my destiny was.

I believe what ever route you take in life your destiny is written in stone and you cannot escape what you will be. To live a life of love is better than a life spent running from yourself. When we accept who we are only then will we notice the flowers, and the beauty in people.

Be interested in others positive journeys, don’t take ownership of the negative journeys people are on but embrace them and listen. It’s an amazing thing human kindness, I can’t leave this room for a month. But you are out there loving and listening to others. Give from your heart today, don’t take from your head. You will have a great day as you start to find your destiny. Tomorrow I will tell you of my journey across Australia and New Zealand as I found out more about who I was to become. Bless someone today.

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

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Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share

 with others, if it meant something to you, it will to some

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 else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own taken whilst creating memories every day.

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The impossible made possible

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bone, can, cancer, Cancer stories, drwam, encouragement, energy, facebook, friends, given, help, hope, hospital, impossible, life, love, raise awareness, struggle, survived, together, transplant, twitter, will

I am quickly learning whilst having spent 2 days in isolation that the journey is just not possible. The thought of being alone, the reality of being alone is so mountainous. It’s not a place where any human can be, and mentally your mind gets used in ways you have never used it before. See memories are a wonderful thing, love is a beautiful thing. Friendship, laughter, encouragement. These are all gifts, they are purposeful and meaningful. These are the things that we hold on to, the fact many have trodden this journey of bone marrow transplant before me gives you hope. The feelings of helplessness disappear to a degree.

The reality is though, that giving to others makes us stronger NOT weaker as the world would have us believe. Loving other people because you can is an amazing and most beautiful thing. It becomes unconditional, and a need to love others.

You see we ALL without exception have a heart beat, we all have the ability to be able to encourage others. Nobody can’t, we all can. The word can is liberating. I CAN is an amazing word when faced with impossible. It’s a way that frees your mind from your impossible journey and makes it possible.

We can all muster up reasons to not even try but as Michael Jordan says.

 

 

 

Surround yourself with people that say Can allot. Be around people that say I WILL. Rather than its to hard or I am to weak. It’s complete and utter rubbish. YOU, right now, yes you. Can be anything you want to be. Stop looking around at others success. You have your own destiny in your hands right now, the key is giving not taking. Although it’s great to take others to a positive place.

Yesterday I asked my wife to take lots of pictures of me holding up cards of people that love me, people that care and I told them I am doing this for them. 

 

 

You can do anything and be what ever you want to be right now. You can do it. You WILL achieve it just make the first step.

Walking through the doors to this room was impossible, the first day was impossible. But it’s done now and somehow it’s been made possible. Just DO IT! Sending you love today as I fight again to get rid of my Cancer. 

Fonz

Mr jangles

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bone, cancer, Cancer stories, encouragement, energy, facebook, friends, given, help, hope, hospital, life, love, raise awareness, struggle, survived, together, transplant, twitter

woke up this morning knew we had to go to to hospital to have my 7 days attached to a drip which is where I am right now. laid in bed having a chemo that will hurt my body, to hopefully make it better.

The only way I can think of relaying it right now is the green mile. My wife loves me soooo v much, she passionately, and whole heartedly loves her husband and it is really beautiful to feel. And very nice to watch her careing nature. She treats me like nothing else matters in the world except for me. Delaquar Mr jangles cell mate looked after Mr Jangles to the best of his ability, until that fateful day when evil ended Mr jangles life. That’s what this isolation is like. It’s like someone has ended my life as I know it. Like I am not real, life’s on hold and I am dead… Just like when the prison officer stood on the mouse and killed it. I never asked for Cancer, It just came along one day and crushed my life slowly. 

However John koffee asked for the mouse to be given to him, the massive giant man in the story was so gentle and used so much of himself to help the mouse to muster the strength to live again. This is like chemo, the chemo whilst very intrusive and painful. Is just a very cruel way of helping someone with Cancer to survive. Sometimes in life we come across a situation like Cancer. It’s not how we feel it’s how we respond that counts.

The begining of the end of a 7 yr fight with Cancer

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bone, cancer, Cancer stories, encouragement, energy, facebook, friends, given, help, hope, hospital, life, love, raise awareness, struggle, survived, together, transplant, twitter

Today I hope is the beginning of the end of Cancer.  I goto the room I will be extremely ill in today. Although I will come home tonight I will be going in to have my hicc line put in on Thursday morning. then it’s time to dig in real deep and get this done. I will be updating the journey daily so please fav this blog and you will get updated when I do.

I am really passionate that people know what this journey is like. A bump on my neck caused all this, naughty bump. But now it’s time to get rid forever. Lots of things have to be faced when fighting Cancer. Some no one but us (the people with it) will know about. But I will be as discriptive and as though as physically possible. I love life and I love people. But I absolutely hate Cancer with a passion. 

God bless you all, let’s get this done!