There are some things that will never be, like you will never be the person you were yesterday. The you that you are today really is the only you that there is, so many people look at what they were and want to be that person again. Hey I did the same myself, thought that I would get Mark back become the old me. Funny though isn’t it, I am 47 now and I will never be 47 again, I will never be the me that was me today tomorrow, all I can be is the best I can be today. The way I do that is by loving, caring, and giving what I can to as many people as I can everyday. Now when I was 37 I was certainly more physically able, I need to stop thinking that whilst I could that I still can. Because I am a different me now. One that had cancer.
It’s all very well me saying CAN all the time, maybe there is a new can though. A CAN that’s still useful but not the same as what I used to be at 37, when cancer was just something someone else gets, not me. A word that I had no knowledge of, chemotherapy was something I had no picture to put in my thought box of. I had no clues back then, I was indestructible and going to live forever. Die, me… Never.. Maybe you have been there?
Now life is different, because rather than expecting a day and taking it for granted. I am grateful for a day, and appreciate the small things in life! Like birds singing, fresh air. NOT having to goto hospital till August this year. That’s part of the 47 yr old Me. I have stopped expecting to be the fit 37 yr old me, because that was then and this is now. I am now on a day to day plan. Enjoying the day set out before me to the best I can, doing the best I can, for as many people I can. I am not unhappy to be that, I am really pleased to have some life to live that I might give to someone today.
Your attitude to life and people is what counts, not what you were or what you hoped you would be, that’s not possible because of illness. That just leads to an unhappy life, striving for something that’s impossible. Happiness is knowing you are the best you can be, with the available you that you are today. By having a grateful heart, and attitude to life. Breeds happiness and ultimately, contentment. Rather than self endured stress, trying to be the old you.
Accept a new and better you is you tomorrow, that the past is just that. Take an X, why are they an X. Because they made your then now not the best now there can be. Enjoy your new now today.
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Posted by fonzandcancer | Filed under Cancer, Cancer stories, Chemothearopy, Christmas, depression, Holiday, Hope, Love, Paris, Relationships, Super Bowl 50, Uncategorized, Winner