There is no old you.

Tags

attitude, becoming, business, Cancerstories, failure, faith, hope, love, you, yourself

There are some things that will never be, like you will never be the person you were yesterday. The you that you are today really is the only you that there is, so many people look at what they were and want to be that person again. Hey I did the same myself, thought that I would get Mark back become the old me. Funny though isn’t it, I am 47 now and I will never be 47 again, I will never be the me that was me today tomorrow, all I can be is the best I can be today. The way I do that is by loving, caring, and giving what I can to as many people as I can everyday. Now when I was 37 I was certainly more physically able, I need to stop thinking that whilst I could that I still can. Because I am a different me now. One that had cancer.

   
It’s all very well me saying CAN all the time, maybe there is a new can though. A CAN that’s still useful but not the same as what I used to be at 37, when cancer was just something someone else gets, not me. A word that I had no knowledge of, chemotherapy was something I had no  picture to put in my thought box of. I had no clues back then, I was indestructible and going to live forever. Die, me… Never.. Maybe you have been there?

Now life is different, because rather than expecting a day and taking it for granted. I am grateful for a day, and appreciate the small things in life! Like birds singing, fresh air. NOT having to goto hospital till August this year. That’s part of the 47 yr old Me. I have stopped expecting to be the fit 37 yr old me, because that was then and this is now. I am now on a day to day plan. Enjoying the day set out before me to the best I can, doing the best I can, for as many people I can. I am not unhappy to be that, I am really pleased to have some life to live that I might give to someone today.

  

Your attitude to life and people is what counts, not what you were or what you hoped you would be, that’s not possible because of illness. That just leads to an unhappy life, striving for something that’s impossible. Happiness is knowing you are the best you can be, with the available you that you are today. By having a grateful heart, and attitude to life. Breeds happiness and ultimately, contentment. Rather than self endured stress, trying to be the old you.

Accept a new and better you is you tomorrow, that the past is just that. Take an X, why are they an X. Because they made your then now not the best now there can be. Enjoy your new now today.

– Fonz

 Follow me, I will follow back. 😊
http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

Bloggers I love, I will share your link.

Tags

Cancerstories, caring, chemotheropy, courageous, generous, grace, helpful, hope, love, winners

Should you think your blog or someone else’s are a blog with a giving nature, tell me in the comments. If you think someone has a giving heart, someone that is selfless, out to help and better others lives. I WANT TO KNOW. I will publish my bloggers I love blog every Monday, so more people come to the site of choice. This blog is for others not me, to give something back to those selfless souls out there.

  
Please share those people, I really love making the world a better place and love people in it that make the world a better place. What’s better than loving your fellow man and wanting the best for your fellow man. We are after all, each and every one brothers and sisters. 

Let’s start a wave of love across the Internet.

– Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

Frozen.

Tags

belief, cancer, Cancerstories, friendship, frozen, Laughter, life, live, love

When your fighting any illness I guess you find your self in a dark place, sometimes it’s a place where you don’t feel there is a way out. For me, that’s what the room was like, the place where I had my transplant. It was a place where I felt there was no end. I had to believe it without seeing, to believe we would make it be having faith.

  
I am a person that feels trapped in confined spaces, it’s a clostrafobic feeling where I feel the need to escape if I can’t see a light at the end of the tunnel. Or so I thought, let’s take the lazy river exsperience. Life jacket on, floating down the river at a pace that you choose through tunnels and round bends but not always being able to see where the tunnel ends. I remember asking my wife if she could see the end, we were in the dark tunnel but I could not see the end. All I had to go on is what my wife could see which was more than I. She told me she could see the way out, it was so very natural for me to just trust her. After all why would she lie to me, it was an easy thing for me to do. To trust the person I had chosen to spend my life with, to believe she was right. Which of course she was.

  
It’s also like that with friends we choose, we learn to trust them to believe in them. To know that they are there for us as well as them. It’s the same with doctors, medication. Anyone that has your life in their hands, it’s just us that stands in the way of a loving relationship with a person. 

I have learnt to  be frozen, I have learnt that people who choose to love us deserve trust. That life is about giving our best to those that choose to give us their best. That we have a responsibility to “let it go” so that it does not affect someone else. That trusting someone is priceless, it’s up to them to let you down or lift you up. But in the letting go you give others the freedom to love you without boundaries. I have met some awesome people of late, who have shown me what good people are. But I also remember that awesome people give their very best to each other. Second best is not good enough, so “let it go” just let it go.

  
Be frozen

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.

DO OR DO NOT, THERE IS NO TRY.

Tags

cancer, Cancerstories, forever, life, live, living, love, loving, memories, starwars, yoda

Do or do not, there is no try.

One of the things you can’t do, yes I know I said the word I don’t use. But how can someone try, how can a person say for instance “I will TRY to beat cancer” how can any person try to do anything. What does try mean. For me it’s DO or DO NOT. Don’t play at life, it’s a life to enjoy not endure, although I do realise that we all have to endure things in life if we are to achieve anything. Success is in achievement, not trying. I don’t even think the word should exsist.

  
Take this example, when I had the conversation with Benny it went like this. ” Do you think I should have the bone marrow transplant Benny” ? You have to realise we have the same mentality, the same ethos the same will and drive to succeed. If we put our minds to anything we do, we don’t try. We believe in our capabilities, and if we don’t know the answer we ask or find out what the answer is and make it happen.

  
His response was to say this “Mark I want you around for a long time we have allot more fun to have yet” how true, but maybe he will never know how much strength he gave me by saying that. how amazing that we can do what ever it is we want to do, we just have to be unwaivered in our quest. Be diligent and determined to make something happen. It boils down to people deciding to be assertive or wishy washy. Those that know me know, I don’t do wishy washy. It’s not how things get done, it’s not how I can make anything happen.

  
I did what I did (beating cancer twice) because I focused on the end result and believed I could DO. I focused on doing not trying, I also did it for the people that wanted me to beat it, my wife of course was at the top of that list as was family. I believe everyone is capable of being the winner. I believe it’s in Us all, but we must never say try only do or do not. There is no grey area in my head anyway.
What do you think?
Have a great day
Mark 
http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.

Upper class.

Tags

cancer, Cancerstories, holiday, hope, Richard, upper class, Virgin

Upper class. 
So what’s this all about, seems when you travel on Virgin you can choose which class you want to travel in. Economy, premium economy, or upper class. I was watching all the people going to the upper class desk, I wondered why they were going to be in upper class. They seemed no different to me or my wife, so what was it? Did they pay to go there, my wife said it costs an arm and a leg to get on upper class. No way I was doing that, but I can’t stand it not having the best. Which upper class obviously is, the very best.

  
As we discussed it seemed it was actually the UPPER deck of the plane. Normal some might say. But not me, although I knew there were planes with an upper deck it was amazing to see people going up the stairs to their seat or (BED) wow a bed in the sky how cool is that really. A 10 hour flight on a bed, just sounds expensive to me, I guess a real treat to. I guess that would have been ace to have gotten a bed esp as we were not only celebrating beating cancer twice, but also our 5th wedding anniversary that we would be celebrating also. But I was not about to get a mortgage out to do that. Economy is not that bad. You have your legs out in front of you crossed. Shoes off, a TV with lots of films to watch. Games should you wish and the staff are very friendly.

  
It’s funny though how all the stewardesses made us both feel like we were in upper class, it was like every passenger was to them special. I for one felt special and I know others around me did to. So I didn’t need to pay the princely sum to go in Upper class. We were made to feel that by the girls and steward that served us. One of the girls even shared with me her experience of cancer, which made me feel an overwhelming feeling of compassion towards her, you just don’t know who your audience is do you. But guys if you read this, thank you for making our Virgin experience so special. 

  
This plane is like a hotel in the sky, no doubt. Flying scares me, it scares me more because you have no control. I enliken it to isolation, where I had no control at all, I also had to imagine I was in a different place to get through it at times. Even able to smell the salt of the sea as the waves came crashing down. We are amazing people, (if we want to be) 

  
I remember the smell of bacon, sea, and sausages on the beach at 5 am with my mum and dad. That’s not upper class but it’s a great memory, I am not to sure why the passengers pay so much to be seen as upper class however. One thing is for sure no matter how high the plane goes they are always a little higher. So maybe not so much upper class as higher up. But one thing is for sure upper class must be a pleasant way to travel. Apparently you don’t need to que at the carousel either.
It did not matter how much they paid, we were made to feel great. For that I have to say. Thanks Virgin, and Richard Branson for making it happen.
All the best
Mark n Andie 
http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.

Help yourself.

Tags

cancer, Cancerstories, future, giving, help, helping, hope, kimd, love, reflection, yourself

What’s the point in knowing the answers and doing nothing about it. It’s a shame you know, how some folk always have someone else to blame. It’s never the fault of the person, it’s always the system at fault or such and such a bodies fault. Well how about, it’s our life and the buck stops with us. If we don’t help ourselves how will we be the best we can be. The NHS is filled with people that don’t help themselves, people that are not thinking about anything else apart from what they want. The booze, fags, kebabs, fatty foods. I am horrified to say I was one of those people, one of the people that went out on a Thursday, a Friday,Saturday, and Sunday night. Yup that was unfortunately my life, maybe I craved it because I was sheltered from it as a child growing up. Maybe I thought it was cool, but what ever way you cut it I did not help myself.

  
 Helping yourself starts with liking, then loving who you are. Looking in the mirror and respecting yourself enough to want to become a better person. To love yourself enough that you can help someone else. I know what it’s like to be on both sides of the fence, But I do now know that to love yourself is like the most precious gift you can give to yourself. There is no way of doing stuff to benefit your future If your in self destruct mode. The other thing is people don’t see you as a friend, they see you as a burden. The only way to improve life is by starting with you, but believing in you and treating yourself well. Stop giving yourself a hard time, start giving yourself you time. Time where you can find the real you, the you that’s beneficial to others.

  
I actually went out looking for me, I travelled from one side of Oz to the other giving myself time to think, cogitate and reflect on who I really wanted to be. Finding the true inner me with no distractions, just me and the road so to speak. I found who I didn’t want to be and who I wanted to be. I found I had qualities that I never knew were there. When I was in a good place, a place where I not only believed in myself, but loved myself to. That would be the time to meet the girl that is now my wife, it’s great to be a part of a team where we can always find something positive to say and do. But all we now do is to be a better us, not a richer or wealthier us. A better us, when you decide to be better it’s like a miriacle happens. You see the world in a different light, because you don’t think selfishly. You start to think of situations in others shoes. You start putting yourself in their situation so you can understand better where they are at.

  
All of the above and much more helps us to keep our mental health good, hey I am not saying we have it right, but I am saying that we have it better . It’s about waking up and being a better person today than yesterday, it’s about not looking at the circumstances. But concentrating on the part of you, that you want to improve. The circumstances will always be there, the excuses will always be there. Your choice is what will you choose to get in your way, or what will you choose to overcome. It’s all about mind set and the choices you make. Be kind to yourself.

  
Have a great week.

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.

Because there is an us.

Tags

cancer, Cancerstories, family, honesty, love, Markblackwell, support

We are just remembering the journey, my wife sharing with me how she felt at certain times. You have to be a special kind of person to care for the one you love in cancer treatment. Or any treatment for that matter. The person caring is on their own journey, they are also being drained of positivity. It’s upsetting writing this, the screen is blurred but you need to know what I will write. This is so others can have some understanding, of what it’s like, what its like to see the life drain from your husbands body. There were 2 people that asked me to go into that room, my wife and my best (male) friend.  I made the promise that I would do it, knowing those people would be there for me at my time of need.

  
The only reason I went in that room was because there is an us, because we are the reason we do. We have a purpose to survive, for each other. It’s really nice to have a person that you know loves you with their whole heart. It’s a source of strength, motivation even. As a carer or a sufferer it’s hard as you scroll through your phone on a Saturday night isolated from the world to know who you could call. You think about their situation before you make the call, you wonder who you will disturb and what impact that would have on their week and or evening. For me I had people I knew I not only could call but would be annoyed if I didn’t call. The people were (disguising their identities) The chemist, the retailer, and the money man. These people despite the things they were facing daily made time for us. They showed unconditional love for us, they gave me strength to carry on, because they believed in us.

  
It’s amazing that these people made me smile in this situation, they even made me laugh. This is what someone needs when faced with cancer and the effects of treatment. It upsets me to think some people didn’t call because they did not know what to say. It’s normality a person craves amongst all the nastiness. I was so fortunate to have those people in my life, I am thankful those people are still in my life. Don’t get me wrong, there were other people I could call but you ain’t gonna call a shovel monkey working nights. Or your parents when they have church the next day, or your brother when he is enjoying family time.

Just knowing you are loved completely gives you the extra strength you need to carry on. It’s funny how men don’t like to admit they love someone completely. I however love to say it, I want to shout it from the rooftops that I have survived and I am still able to hold my wife’s hand.

  
Just remember the phone call you make to that person, could make a huge difference in their life. You could be the one that makes the difference between  self belief and deflation. You could be the tonic someone needs to carry on, your words could be used to give someone the will to carry on.  What you do in someone’s life, surely is better than not doing. Whilst some people chose to do that in our journey, many could not muster up the right words. That’s why I am so grateful for our group  cancer stories (a support group) we are open there and you can read when you like and have a considered response when you like. It’s a place where we can all share our experiences.

  
Remember no one else can do what  you can, you are someone’s hope, their life line and only you can make that happen. Hope you have a great day being you.

Mark