Confidence.

Tags

belief, cancer, cure, cured, dolphins, finished, hope, hospital, love, patience, remission, swim

How many of us don’t do something, simply because we are unsure of the outcome. How will we know what the outcome will be if we don’t give it a shot.  It’s something people think I have in spades “confidence” Which is quite true, confidence is half the battle, if your confident then all the worrying small stuff is not considered in your forward thinking. Only those that are worriers will take into consideration all the bits that cause issues. Let me explain.

  
When I was about to have a transplant I went to see the doctor, who would tell me of the risks that my treatment would Entail, included in the list were heart failure, lung failure, kidney damage, irreversible nerve damage, pancreatic failure and many others. As I walked out of that room I put all the words and warnings he had said to the back of my mind. I had signed a consent form agreeing that I would have the treatment and if any of the side effects happened I would not sue. That’s what the point was, that I would blame no one if something went wrong. 

  
What do you do, wallow in self pity. Ask why me? Get depressed and overwhelmed with what you are to face. Or, get on with it. I chose, oh and it was a physical choice. To carry on regardless, helping myself to focus on what I could do, as opposed to what I could not change. The potential possibilities would always be there no matter what. So what’s the point in worrying, yea just gotta stand up and move forwards, doing the things that are in your control, giving yourself the best chance at surviving that’s possible. Like giving up smoking, thinking positively, never allowing people’s words to bring you down. Keeping away from germs that little ones maybe carrying. But no matter what keeping focused on a long term goal, moving closer towards it. 

  
The goal I set for myself was a holiday, a friends brother in law speaks about always having a holiday to look forward to, he always books the next one as soon as he gets back off holiday which makes each day that bit nicer. We were not able to book our holiday as we had no idea what side effects I may have after treatment. But what I did have was confidence that I would make it. Saying the words that you know I say, I WILL and I CAN. you can be what ever you want to be, you just need to have that confidence to remove all barriers that are in your way. To believe whole heartedly that I would win and stand on that beach with my friends, then in turn swim with dolphins with my wife which has been a life long ambition. Even turning down an opportunity to do this in Kiakora New Zealand simply because I was doing it solo. Doing that with my wife will be amazing.

  It’s now our time, a time for us to shake off the cobwebs and live our life. 10/09/2015 means I am 47 and oh how proud I feel to have made that happen. To have triumphed over that horrible thing we call cancer. There is a song that’s very dear to me, it’s a song that we have wanted to fulfil the words to. To feel real love in the home that we live it, now after our triumph we do. How amazing is that.

Have a great week,

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.

There IS life after cancer.

Tags

cancer, Cancerstory, chemo, energy, feeling, finished, freedom, grace, grateful, healing, heamatology, hope, last, love, respect, special, survived, treatment

As someone that has had cancer and beaten it TWICE! I am one of the few people on the planet that knows what it takes to beat it. My NO 1  thought has always been. “How much of me will cancer take from me” how much of me will be left after all the chemo and procedures are finished. Well the last procedure was done on Friday by having my pentamidine. I just have to have a lung function test done on Monday, then my dear friends reading this, then I will be walking free from cancer. I will leave southport hospital free from this dreaded disease, from all the things that’s needed to fight. I have slowly weened myself off of the medication and am out the  otherside. 

  
All the drugs leave you with kidney pain, chest pain, leg pain and nerve pain. But you know what non of that seems to matter. What matters is that the battle is now won. During the whole journey I have concentrated on going away with the lads as my end goal. To jump up and down together celebrating that this huge battle has been won. To see the smiles on the faces of the people that really care outside of my immediate family. To feel the freedom of being cancer free, and to share it with those that have been spurring me on. 

  
This will happen 1 week after my last test, the feeling I have within me is amazing. The prayers that have gone up by the many thousands of people around the world, the miracle granted to me that’s called life. I am so thankful, grateful, and blessed to have this life. I only hope that the people that have read my journey have been able to relate it to thier own situation, struggles, and challenges that you have had to face whilst we have been fighting to beat cancer. My wife is shattered, totally spent emotionally. She has faced everything with me, even holding my hand when I have been on the brink of losing my life. She has helped me find the strength to carry on. As have so many people along the way, people I was not to exspect to help have been there.

  
I went to see 1 of those people the other day, I went and had a Brazilian coffee with him. His children really loved interacting with Faith, and the feeling of freedom and being cared about were prevalent in that visit. i felt as though it had all been worth it, that there was a reason for a fight to have been won.

  
Happy family day, that’s what Sunday is to me. A day when me and Andie try to be together enjoying each other, giving our time to each other. wow how amazing that we can even have a family day. In my journey beating cancer, I have learned what good people are, what selfishness there is in some people. I have learnt that people can surprise you. I have learnt that not everyone is prepared to send you a message to wish you well, even IF people have had bad motives I always have tried to wish them well. I am also finding some diamonds on my journey. I am finding there are a few people that we can lean on, people that are reigniting my positivity for folk. People that want the best for you, accepting your situation but looking at the person not the disease. People that I want in my future, and are welcomed with open arms, because there is no hidden agenda.

  
It’s now time for me to remove all the cotton wool and bubble wrap, to start to live a life whilst I continue to blog and encourage those still fighting what it’s like on the otherside of Cancer. You may be able to pick up my excitement and expectancy of the things we will enjoy. Also the places we will visit whilst enjoying being cancer free. I can’t say those words often enough. 

  
Have a great week

mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.