Inspirational people.

Tags

attitude, cancer, facebook, happiness, health, hope, love, Martin house, raise awareness, survivor, tvrcc, twitter

Good morning – here we are again it’s Tuesday. Preparing for the biggest event I have organised. But how was it born, how was our “By eck it’s Yorkshire “ trip inspired. So many of you know I have a daily fight with pain and pushing back the tears is sometimes the only victory I have in a day. I don’t feel sorry for myself I just want to do good in the world. When I met my now friend Richard Sails he was determined to get me to help out in the TVRCC Lancashire region. Being a dyslexic I was concerned about it but I did see it as an opportunity to bless people. After all I don’t feel pain whilst driving my TVR.

So one of the first runs I organised was one to the Lake District to Kirkstone pass and onto Pooley Bridge. On the trip we stopped at Sizergh Castle. I wanted to talk to everyone and as I made my way down the 10 cars I saw my friend Ian. We had been cyber friends for some years and passed each other on events like out TVRCC “Thrills in the hills” event in 2017. The only year prior to this I was a member.

As I spoke to Ian he got out of his car and took a wheel chair out of his boot. As I looked around I could not see a passenger. He proceeded to put on his gloves and sit in the chair and whizz himself to the cafe. I was overwhelmed and could not hold back a tear. He inspired me to do something to help someone or some body of people where ever we run.

It was still a thought process. But him being from Yorkshire along with another inspiring Man and friend of mine. He would not like me to say his name. But Nick is one of those people also that moves forwards what ever life throws. Inspirational and strong!

We did the Rhyl run and in brief wore crazy shirts to support a member lost to cancer. Indeed inspirational themselves. Pam Jeffrey did a lot for others too and even in days before she passed was determined to walk a hill.

On this trip organised by Ian Millington and his son James I saw Ian and Nick again. All the way from the east coast. I had to do something I had to do something closer to them. Which brings me to my friend Derrick who had talked to me earlier in the year about how his son passed away which got my train of thought going as to how to help people like that in the future.

So driving home from Rhyl tired and unable to do any kind of speeds up to the limit of the road, it was slow and I stopped 4 times as the pain I felt would not dissipate. I dearly would have loved to have said something there and made stronger friendships but I knew I was out of steam so headed home. My thoughts were only of how to do something over on the east coast. So they were in their own back garden so to speak so we would make the effort and come over to them.

Little did I know what it would turn into. My friend Rick found Martin house. I made contact with them and we were able to do an event supporting them. I have set my goal high and intend to raise £10000 but maybe it’s a bridge to far but better than doing nothing right. So we are doing a raffle and auctioning some prizes off.

We will be putting smiles on people’s faces and will be doing it all in aid of Martin House in Boston spa. What a privilege to be able to do this. To have the vehicles and “TVRCC “ to accomplish this. So many kind people have helped and I owe a lot to them. Many thanks to you all the Lake District break donated by Mr Rackham, wheels donated by Stuart, racing instruction at Knock hill. Born from seeming negativity.

The Jewellery by “Jo Pratsides Jewellery”

Life’s so precious Sam Pearce-Warrilow has donated a photograph session

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Phots-Shoot-Pro-Photography-In-Aid-Of-Martin-House-Childrens-Charity-/384361150089?mkcid=16&mkevt=1&_trksid=p2349624.m46890.l49286&mkrid=710-127635-2958-0

The wheels donated

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/TVR-Tuscan-20-Wheels-Used-Low-Profile-Tyres-/384356811820?mkcid=16&mkevt=1&_trksid=p2349624.m46890.l49286&mkrid=710-127635-2958-0

A driving tuition day

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Track-Day-Tuition-In-Your-Own-Car-Proffessional-Race-Car-Tutor-/384358623173?mkcid=16&mkevt=1&_trksid=p2349624.m46890.l49286&mkrid=710-127635-2958-0

Autoglym have donated and many many other people including Richard Irons.

People complain about dust, about things that don’t matter. What truly matters is loving people and while you can’t forget your pains it’s good to talk about anything that bothers you and if the person chooses to walk away that’s up to them. Doing your best is what counts. Doing and not complaining. Giving and not counting the cost.

Going forwards I aim to only look forwards and bless people where I can I mean why stop. So many more people will be blessed by this club next few years and I consider it a privilege to be involved.

If your unable to come to the event on the 4th September please do share this post. Please bless people with this post and help us to raise as much money as possible.

God bless you all and I hope this finds you well

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram @dogrupher

@fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share

with others, if it meant something to you, it will to some

one else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own taken whilst creating memories every day. Some pictures taken by enthusiasts on the day.

You could change a life by sharing this post!

Will you?

Copyright ©2021

Divorced people are amongst the most lonely in the world.

Tags

cancer, encouragement, faith, Families, family, friends, happiness, health, Hodgkins, hope, life, love, survivor

A divorce is like a death, it is for sure the same and certainly no one will understand unless they know the hurt that’s felt, when someone they love dies. I would like to think that all people marry because they love each other and believe that to be case in most marriages. It certainly was for me, yes that’s right I was married before as was my now wife.

When someone gets divorced, they carry hurt, Pain, and a feeling of failure. In my own experience it’s hard to see people siding with one or the other. No one truly knows what’s gone on except the people involved. Yet all that the people experiencing the separation yarn is what they got married for. They yearn love, and they look for a way to get rid of the pain. That’s why you see so many people drinking to excess, taking drugs and perhaps even ending their own life because they don’t feel it’s worth living anymore. I know how all that feels, the desire to not feel the hurt anymore.

You hear friend say that they are looking forwards to their own life changing events, a baby, marriage, a christening, you want to feel happy for them so so bad. But you just feel like the loneliest person in the room, everyone does not understand you. They just see what they thing we should be doing. To love someone is the most beautiful thing, yet in divorce it so quickly turns to hate. Everyone seems to see solutions where all you want is for the Pain to go away. The talking stops and the thought that you ever loved that person just seems so inconceivable.

I mean what is it we all want in life?

I would say that there is only one thing on this earth that has ultimate importance. It’s a concoction that we all crave to meet this end goal. That life gives us that one thing. It comes through, faith and love. Consideration for others, friendship. It comes through giving, through laughter and being around people that care about you and don’t want something from you. It comes through hugs, from having a good family. Yet someone going through divorce will not feel it, they have so much more to overcome before becoming happy. That’s it isn’t it, that we all aim to be happy in life and to find that balance has a high value. If not the most important thing in life is to be happy.

Everyone of us can be that small part of that concoction for some happiness. My challenge to you today, is that you can be a part for someone’s happiness. That someone who is enduring a divorce or a loss needs our love not our sympathy. They need our arm around them to tell them that they are important, they are loved and have value.

I think the key is not to judge what has happened, or who’s at fault rather love the person. Remembering that rejection which is what divorce is, can result in devastating consequences. Not to long ago a distant friend of mine (our electrician) committed suicide because the divorce was so messy. Going round to see him with some ring donuts and phone calls to lift him. We’re not enough, or maybe there just we’re not enough people that helped to lift him up. I cared about him and did my best to help him to come through. But ultimately he was not happy, that was missing in his life.

Our girls puppies

Happiness was not a part of his life, rejection took over and Gary could cope no more. That’s what we need to nurture in life. The situations and people that bring us happiness, and the feelings that go with that. Happiness is a priceless gift and one to be cherished.

The point of this blog is to remind you of what’s important, happiness. Bathe in it and enjoy it like the new morning sun. Happiness is peace, and peace is acceptance. Those 3 things are without doubt a recipe for a disease and stress free life. I have experienced the latter and for sure seek happiness over anything that’s going to rob me of it. If it’s not going to bring some joy in the end I tend to steer away from it. Life’s to short that’s for sure.

Have a great week.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram

@fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share with others, if it meant something to you, it will to someone

else. All images are from a Google search. Or my olwn, taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright ©2018

Moving on. Dogs do.

Tags

attitude, awareness, cancer, desire, destiny, encouragement, facebook, faith, gift, happiness, health, moveon, twitter

Hey guys, sorry I have not written in a while. I have been having my own experience in real life as apposed to in the social spotlight. I have been leading about dogs and am thinking the more I think about it my place is to work with dogs and to learn more about our relationships with them. One thing I have learnt from dogs perhaps through a friends dog aswell as my own experience. That is that dogs don’t let their past affect their future with the right guidance. I would like personally to learn more about helping people to have better relationships with their dogs so that both can enjoy a better life.

I don’t think a dog forgets that they were badly treated. I think they remember and move on from it even though it’s part of their life.

I know people expect me to move on from my cancer journey, and some may think it’s bizarre that it’s still affecting me to this day. Well like a dog, I can’t forget it, and find it hard to move on as the pain does not help me to forget all the treatment, procedures, and chemicals that I have had put into my body. Chronic pain is a part of my life and while I hoped it would disappear. It hasn’t. So guess what. I have to move on. I need to allow the past to help me rather than hinder me. To allow my past to shape me but not control me.

In the future I would dearly love to be able to stand in front of people and encourage them that they can overcome the situations that they have found themselves in, Be it disease, abuse, or a victim of another situation. Most people I guess use God, but one thing I detest are people that just pray and then don’t follow it up with action. It’s like someone sending an email and not following it up with a phone call. “I have sent an email, I am just waiting for a reply” is Not taking control of your destiny.

If you apply for a job, why just send a C.V. Why would you not follow it up with a phone call to the recipient. I tell you now, you will be a stand out candidate for the position as you will have spoken to your employer. It’s about taking some kind of control over your own destiny. Following your words with action.

TAKE CONTROL

In my opinion the biggest problem with dogs behaviour is humans ability to react and know what to do, and what not to do. My dogs are not allowed to jump up at people when they enter our house, and incidentally they are not allowed in our house without wiping their feet. They don’t get fed unless they sit. Oh they also bow and pray before they eat to. They are not allowed on the sofa unless there is a cover on it and they are invited. I choose that our dogs will be pub dogs, dogs we can take to visit others.

Is it wrong that we expect our dogs to have standards, that we don’t want children to be knocked down due to their bad behaviour. No of course not, their has to be boundaries, or children will get hurt. People will get hurt, and for sure we don’t want that.

My point is that, I am finding it hard to move on from my cancer. But now the time, although I will for sure not stop allowing my experience to shape my future. But I need to stop letting it dominate my life, and start allowing it to shape my future. My future is without cancer, and there are for sure people that have helped me without even knowing it. Babies die, children and young people have their lives taken. For sure those facts make me totally grateful to be in my 50th year. A mile stone that needs to be celebrated rather than anticipating another relapse. You can achieve what ever you choose to do, myself personally I have found it difficult to live with Pain rather than moving on from having Pain. Rather to get to the point of acceptance like in my last blog. I know we are all a work in progress and I for sure want to progress, rather than not moving on. So thank you all of you that are friends on here, people that have helped me along the way.

drayo308

Walt

Michael33

Liz

Many many more.

But now the time for me to move on and maybe my blog will take a different turn, but fonzandcancer will always be a blog and maybe even a book one day. Time to move on but learn from my past.

Bless you all, and thank you for reading. It means the world.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram

@fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.

Everything you read aure better based on my own experipence and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Pleople share with others, if it meant something too you it will to someone

else. All images are from a Google search. Or my olwn, taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright ©2018

Why ya gotta owe something, to get something.

Tags

awareness, encouragement, faith, friends, given, happiness, hope, meaning, owe, partner, stories, together, weakness

It’s how people see things that are not saved, they think that if someone gives to them that they must owe them something. Wow that sentence hit home for me, because I like to give yet I receive aswell. It’s a hard lesson for someone that’s a giver to receive graciously. For sure I have made many mistakes in my life, some catastofic. (Spelling I would like to say is catastrofic but I can’t spell it.)

No ones perfect! But yet a really valuable lesson is to learn that to be given to is as beautiful as the person receiving something from you. Yet we hope the person would receive the gift and accept you want nothing in return. I have learnt in life that people want to give to me and I take away that pleasure for them sometimes. I love the feeling I get when I give to someone and even a small thing can mean so much to someone.

There begins the line from another Rocky movie

Que Rocky Balboa accent!

“Friends don’t owe, friends do because they wanna do”

Those nurses saved my life, didn’t they? Or was it the whole thing, the transplant, my faith, my friends? Or was it not the giving of all the people that were in the whole process. I digress.

The point is that giving in its self is a gift, that humility in being given to and allowing that person the beauty of the feeling we all get when we give. I believe that it’s as important as giving itself. It’s for sure something I am learning and stepping forwards to get better at it. You know I still don’t think many people get why I blog and get nothing for it. I see people going to work and earning while I blog to encourage others yet for no reward. Every time I pick up this I pad I want to use it to help people. So am I actually one of the people that feel like I owe, because the treatment saved my life? Well the answer is possibly a bit, but that’s only because I want people who are going to face what i did, gain from my experience possibly. That’s why I give.

We are all blessed in our own way, maybe although I don’t reread what I have written out loud very well (so I am told) but I am able to a small degree at least. Help people to find the strength to carry on, to find a way when they feel there is no way. To articulate what’s happened in my life to encourage other people. You can’t do much when your isolated so I did what I could do with what I had in my hands.

My friends I must conclude by saying, if someone wants to give to you. Allow them to feel good about it, allow them yo enjoy their giving. But also if you want to give don’t be afraid of rejection, be happy you are able or in the position to give. Don’t take people for granted, recognise the good things about them. But most of all. You ain’t gotta owe someone, to give something to someone.

Your future, not your pain.

Tags

awareness, cancer, Christian, destiny, Families, friends, GOD, Goodness, happiness, health, longevity, muscle, Peace, relentless, together, unity, weakness, Writing

Your future, not your pain.

WOOH! 

The reality of  the past 7 years and the realisation that what I was interested in doing. (Encouraging someone everyday) has been achieved. Nuts really how this has happened considering the pain that envelopes me on a daily basis. Success is doing what you say your going to do. Asking if I want a coffee in a morning if you know me is pointless. Making a coffee for me if you so wished, I don’t take milk and less than one teaspoon of sugar. The point of this post is to talk with you about doing, not considering it. Talking to me seems useless, but standing up and doing something means so much to me these days.  

You see when your faced with losing your own life, no really you do start to see. It’s only then that you become. Let me explain. Good people, give. They don’t say, hey can I, do you mind if I, please let me. Good people do, they don’t speak of what’s happened. They just do, possibly because they have learnt the same lessons as me. This next picture I took of one of my friends and it speaks so much of what’s going on in this world. That to enjoy what you can’t control, is so much more of a peaceful way to live. Yet, I so often allowed things outside of my control to affect me. I know as another friend reminded me yesterday that we are of course ALWAYS a work in progress. If we are only willing to allow ourselves to not be controlled by our surroundings. Rather to accept what others choose, and enjoy what they choose even if it’s not what we would have done. 

This picture although not me, says all I want to say to you really. That to let what’s around you be, and be comfortable with others choices. That no matter what is or has happened around you standing and doing what you feel is right is actually right for you. No other way is right. To stop talking and start doing is when you discover life in its true fullness.

I know I have spoken of sentences the bible says at times in my blog. But this is what I mean.

Jesus Predicts His Death

John 12 vs…23But Jesus replied, “The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. 24Truly, truly, I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a seed; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. 25Whoever loves his life will lose it, but whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.…

In other words, if you continue to hate the world you live in and live a life of turmoil it will always be that. But let go of those things and allow the world to be around you and not try to change them. I most certainly will continue to become a better person. To stop allowing things others do to not bother me as appossed to annoy me. That the journey of others is theirs nit mine. Whilst on holiday, a Dacia Duster driver was reversing. Seemingly directly into the car I was driving. 

 

My accepting the world photo.

Why can’t you just laugh knowing your a better driver than that, Sentance. Changed my perspective and as ever. If your not with a friend that loves you enough to not let you stay the way you are. Then the chances are your with people that are around you because they want something from you. People that love you will always challenge you. But then of course they will always accept you to. But love you to much to let you stay that way. 

That’s what the verse means, until you stop worrying about your souroundings. You will never enjoy what your surroundings are.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram

 @fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Pleapse share with others, if it meant something tou you it owill to someone

 else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.
You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright ©2017

A smile can change a life.

Tags

cancer, Compassion, dad, faith, gift, happiness, health, help, hope, Lord'sPrayer, love, not, passion, Peace, StevenHawkins, survivor, today, together, Writing, yang, yin

I always thought I would sink so I never swam.

Throughout our lives we are faced with opportunities. Some I chose not to choose and some I am so grateful I did choose. Like friendships, to go this way or that. Have you ever stopped to think; what would I have happened if I had chosen a different path. Where life would have taken us should we have chosen to befriend someone or not.

I remember once walking down a street and our eyes met we smiled at each other and carried on walking. Perhaps had I stopped I would not have the people in my life I do today. But is not about what we didn’t do is it. It’s about what we did do that chances our path. Or is it the not doing that takes us on a new path to the things we choose to do.

For me I am happy I never stopped that day, although it’s still something in my mind. Because without me choosing not to I did not sink. Or maybe that smile was just something we shared that made both of our lives better.

I adore smiling at people I think need some kindness. 3 days ago I smiled at a married lady with little hair. “You on chemotherapy” I said. She lit up and gave me a hug. It was like we understood and empathised with each other. It’s amazing how we can affect someone’s life just by understanding someone.

Only you can have that affect on someone. Only you can bring light into someone’s life. Never say you are not able to do anything, because even a smile can have a positive affect on others lives. You have the smile and ability to do that. Try it make someone’s day, choose to smile today. Let me know how that went in the comments.

Let’s affect the world with kindness.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram

@fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.

Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Pleapse share with others, if it meant something tou you it owill to someone

else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright ©2017

To love another, is truly a gift.

Tags

faith, faithful, gift, GOD, happiness, honour, hope, love, nelief, others

To love another, is truly a gift.

So tonight, I watched a Facebook live that I was supposed to watch. I listened as the person spoke how they together had done, achievements together and fulfilled dreams together. I heard how two people worked together to achieve a goal, a common goal. A goal they both agreed on, overcoming what ever they faced by working together..

As I thought tonight about what’s important in life, my need to contribute in our family as we draw to the end of making our house a home. To contribute in other ways, more financially maybe. But most certainly whilst these thoughts went though my mind, I realised the one thing that I was greatful for. Thankful to God for apart from life itself, was that I had been given the gift of love from another. We are approaching our 14th year together, I love my wife more today than ever I did, although on times you would not think it. 

Who ever you are, what ever the choices you have made. If you have loved and lost, you had a gift. Your friends, the people that have or indeed still do care about you are a gift. God has given you gifts, yet you don’t see them anymore because of what you are going through. Well I want to encourage you, no matter what you face, and I know what it’s like to look in my wife’s eyes and hold her hand and cry a tear as I fight cancer, and she fights with me. The love of another is a gift, you can choose to cherish that. Or you can choose to let the circumstances get in the way of that. Oh God forgive me for forgetting that sometimes, forgive me for forgetting the moments we stood together no matter what.

That it’s not about what we have, but that we do it together. It’s not whose name is on the pay cheque or who did what, but that we did it together. So tonight I find myself in a grateful position, grateful once again that there is a we. That the gift I asked God for is right there in the people that love me. That when you move forwards that you only need to look down or to the side to see who’s holding your hand or standing with you. 

Don’t let your circumstances be an excuse not to, let your circumstances give you a reason to do. We all have circumstances, we all have gifts also.choose to walk with those that are with you. Don’t be dragged down by the weight of your circumstance.

You matter

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them hereby to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something tou you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

Copyright ©2017

From bad to Worse!!!!

Tags

chemo, children, faith, family, gift, happiness, hope, IVF, religion, treatment

From bad to Worse!!!!

Going on holiday is supposed to be a way of relaxing and when you come home your supposed to be refreshed. We were for sure just that when w were on the plane holding hands feeling that feeling of feeling refreshed and looking forward to our IVF treatment. We felt excited, we even met people on our holiday that had had the treatment and it worked first time. I mean knowing we have fought so hard for our life together. The room, the treatment, the sickness and suffering. Surely this is our time, surely it’s time to get some good news in our lives and have an opportunity to have our own child. My swimmers are dead, so we are not able to have children naturally so our only chance is to have them through IVF. We were told they were dead on the day before our holiday and our holiday in Greece was time to come to terms with that. I was angry, and upset that cancer had taken that from us. That the consequence of the fight was that we could not have children, that somehow we have been ripped off. 

It was about a week into the holiday that we met a couple that had had their successful IVF. Our anger turned to hope as we heard the story that was theirs. That he had fought for his life after breaking his back, but years later had their gift through IVF of a beautiful baby girl. We began to feel hopeful, we even began to feel excited at the prospect. Our holiday began to be a joyful time as we imagined our new born and what it would be like to be parents. We talked about how we would parent, the methods we would use. We even watched how other parents were with their children, we looked at each other knowing that we would work together to help parent our child and realised that maybe we would make good parents. We spoke how we would ask questions of why they were doing what they were doing as apposed to shouting. (Maybe a far fetched dream right) we spoke how we would parent and how we would love them, places we would go, what we would teach them. 

It really was the beginning of a new life for us, especially as Archibald the guy at the hospital had told us we would qualify for the treatment. We are not people with money, we are people with big hearts and share love with people and help others to overcome what they are going through. It’s what I do with passion, helping others with cancer, dedicating my life to holding out my hand to other people like you. Encouraging people that they to can win their fight, whether it be cancer or something else. I have heard the words, “you will lose your life without treatment” I know how valuable life is, I know how precious it would be to parent. I know how my dog makes me feel, I mean you see people that are parents and apparently some children don’t know what a loving home is. We do, because we live in a loving home and truly hoped to be parents and thought that this was our time.

We arrived home up beat unpacked opened a bottle of red wine and began opening the post, you know the bills ect. Then I heard my wife reading a letter out loud from the hospital. She said the word “unfortunately” followed by “you have not been accepted” it did not hit me really till now. That we are not being accepted for IVF. Right now I feel as though yet again Cancer has taken something else from us. After spending our holiday feeling hopeful that we would become parents. So here we are with yet another disappointment. Another set back, something else to overcome. Yea of course I am upset, we both are but you know me, I won’t just sit back and allow this to ruin me. I will continue to look into the options until they have been exhausted. But I tell you now reading that letter has floored me, for now. 

We will get over this, we will become positive again.

Today is a gift and treasuring what we have, is most certainly important. Life is precious, appreciate what your life gives to you. Also the people you have in it. We are each other’s gift.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something tou you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

Copyright © 2016

What you choose makes a differance.

Tags

airport, business, cancer, chemotheropy, everybody, gift, happiness, hope, love, men, morories, turkey, women

It’s so very important to set achievable goals when you face cancer. When your facing chemo or a terminal cancer it’s important to have short term goals that are obtainable. I mean some goals I had were getting to the next second. Smiling because even though I have illness it’s up to me to make some sunshine. 

It’s down to us to make something good when facing something bad. To look for something positive in life even though we think there is nothing to be positive around us. On thing I used to have as a target and still do, is to remember something that made me smile, a time we enjoyed together. I remember how many times I watched our wedding DVD, the happy day that we shared together, the love we shared with our friends. 

Don’t get me wrong some days I would just cry, I would not be able to help crying, I just did. I cryed and cryed and cryed some days. I learnt that days like that were good as my brain was being washed with all the toxins chemo had left me with. I learnt that even those days were good days. Why because I was able to have a better few minutes afterwards. Cancer taught me that life can be taken from us as we know it in an instant. One moment we are doing what we love then the next moment so it seems, a doctor says those dreadful words. “You have cancer” then the old normal has been left behind. 

Only right then can we understand what the importance of laughter friendship and love is. How important it is to recall all the good we had in our lives and how important it is to make happy moments in our lives today. Because as you and I both know, there is no tomorrow. There is only today for us to make a differance, but we also are able to recall the good times we had before cancer came and it’s for sure been a vital part of my life with cancer. There is always something we can do, don’t give up, remember the beauty you have had and have in your life. Me personally I believe in Jesus, I believe in the power of God also. I also believe that we are given strength by his people. That it’s up to us to see the good in someone, and also do good for someone. What ever you may believe in the spiritual world, that’s your choice. But does it matter what another believes. Should we not love our fellow man anyway, find something positive and do anyway.

Don’t get me wrong there is evil in this world that we will never understand, but the only way to make this world a better place is to do something yourself. Choose to do something, remember something good. Give something good to someone, even if that which you give is a memory, or a reminder of a memory. There is always a way to bring sunshine to someone’s life. 
I hope you choose to.
Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com
Our support group on our FB
Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 
It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories.
Copyright © 2016

The 47 yr old naked me.

Tags

fat, happiness, happy, hope, illness, love, selfbelief, selfless

Every morning I get up, I am naked as the day I was born. I know I am a slightly different shape to the day I was actually born.  But never the less I am still faced with the same old problem. How to make this rather over weight, middle aged man look good. Well actually those were my dating days. It was always a real pain breathing in on those dates I used to go on, of course some dates I went on I rather felt disappointed I had made the effort and did not bother to hold my waist in at all on those dates. Trouble with that though was that, buttons on my jeans burst and belts snapped. Recently I have become more comfortable getting up and not being able to see where my bits were, finding a mirror rather more useful than I had before this time in my life.

  
I must admit I have been rather struggling with the fact that I am no longer a 32 ” waist and have finally realised that just because the bee gees are playing on the 80’s music channel it does not mean that 32″ jeans fit comfortably like they did back then.  I have until 2 days ago imagined myself as that well toned strong fit athletic figure of a man. Trouble with that was though that it was a memory and not a reality. I kinda sneaked past 34″ waist without anyone noticing. Now I do apologise if you have at any point imagined me naked at any point here. Please ask God for forgiveness unless you are my mum. But even if you are my mum. Trust me mum I don’t look anything like you may think I do. 

I used to be frightened of the Family belly and as time went on and hit 40 I had to rest a lot and my 34″ waist became a 36″ now I am saying this. But until two days ago I just thought it was my reflection getting fat and not actually me. I don’t know if this rings a bell. Anyway I woke up last Thursday and tried on ALL my jeans and non fitted yup and they all were 36″ so I had to face facts. I looked in the mirror at me and my fella. I felt sorry for myself as I uttered the words. Me and you are a 38″ pal we just are we just gotta go and get some that actually fit my fat size and be happy about it.

Now I went in the shop, embarrassed as I uttered the sentence to the passing shop assistant ” Hi I can see 38″ long leg but no regular ” she sniggered and went off to find some. But this is the truth, I bought 3 pairs of £10 jeans that were next to the £36 jeans. Why because I will I hope one day, want to get back into a 36″ waist ( I don’t want to aim to high ) as she walked away I realised that I would never go to a party again and be thought of as attractive, but maybe be asked if I was a grandparent yet. 

Now I realise I am a 38″ and feel happy that they need hitching up, it makes that 32″ man I imagine seem more real now. This post I wrote because I am now happy with the fat me and hoped you would have some fun reading it.

Have a great day

Being happy with who you are today.

Fonz

Can’t the world make each other happy.

Tags

belief, business, chemotheropy, faith, friendships, happiness, hope, love, mind, together

So much happens in this world I don’t understand, I don’t know about you. I do know one thing though, that is all I want in writing is to love and be loved. My first ever post I was a scared little boy in the blogging world. I knew not what to expect from that world. But the world I was most scared of was the cancer one. Saying the word cancer has a scary familierlarity that scares me now. I don’t want to be familiar with cancer, I don’t even want it to have a place in my life. But that said, I have fear in my heart for other people that may set off on the very journey I did. This journey has become about others not myself. Not my progress but the building of belief in others that they can. 

  
It reminds me of a story written by someone else, but here is my interpretation. Two people ( they can be male or female) ) they are in hospital. One is not able to sit up and see out of the Window, the other is able. Everyday the one that is able is asked by the one that is not. “What do you see outside” each day the story is of sunshine, success and children playing together happily. Day after day the stories were the same. Sunshine, happiness and peace. Until one day when the one that was not able to sit up to see out the window sat up. To find he could only see a wall, there was no playground, no sunshine and no laughing children. Yet everyday in the mind of the healing person they saw happiness, saw smiles and felt happiness through the stories the other person shared with them.

The stories were giving hope, love and happiness to a body that needed to heal. We all have the chance each day to say something nice. I remember on Monday yesterday even laughing with my family, even heartily did we laugh even though the pain I felt was immense. Right there at that moment, or moments. With my wife, mum, dad, nephew, and sister in law. Who I would love to be my actual sister laughed heartily and loved completely. Is that not what the person that could see out of the window did. In doing so gave hope and helped another’s recovery. 

We are a circle connected, if you help another in that circle you belong. You help. You have giving hope to another. Is that not an amazing thing to do, should not we all do this for someone everyday.?

This last 5 days have been tough, but there have been times of laughter and I have remembered good times. My advice. Hold onto the good times, and make as many times good as you can. Those moments only come once then they are gone forever.

Fonz

P s thank you for all you do and are going to do for another.

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

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Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

Problems are opportunities for solutions to happen

Tags

attitude, belief, happiness, hope, love, outlook, perseverance, positivity

I might be a bit strange in my approach to problems, as I get pleasure out of solving them. I don’t see some problems as an issue I see them as a challenge even fun sometimes. Let’s look at today for instance, all of our village have problems with no electricity. Everything is down due to overload of the Stone Age electrical components. So of course in my mind I am thinking about saving our suckling pig that’s in the freezer and the meat that’s in there. Making sure my wife’s laptop has power so she can continue to work from home. Then last but not least making sure we have entertainment Tv and lighting in the living room. 

It’s now 7pm and everyone on the street is in candal light, but we have a generator outside with two exstention leads one into the conservatory and one into the living room where we have a log fire for heat. The one in the conservatory has a kettle attached to it aswell as the freezer and drinks fridge powered. The living room has our mobile wifi attached to it so we can stay in touch with the outside world. In fact it’s the one I had when I was in hospital so I could get my blog out to you.

  
It gives me a lot of pleasure to have solutions tonight providing something that a massive electricity supplier could not. Again I think it’s our attitude to issues that matters, if we have a positive outlook and good people around us. We seem to be able to make things happen that otherwise would not be possible. All it took was a phone call to a friend to ask if I could borrow his generator and connect my exstention leads into a double plug I put on the end of the plug socket. The only person that restricts what is possible in life I believe is you.

I went into the supermarket for some rolls for tea and ended up talking to a lady that needed hot water for her tropical fish. I found out her adress and was able to take them some water heated in a kettle to maybe save the lives of the fish they had.  You CAN do anything if you want to, the only person standing in the way of that is you.

I am sat here writing this with a smile and although it’s tomorrows blog it will go out early for your pleasure. I hope you have a great week. Also that this post has a positive effect in your own life. 

Fonz

  Follow me, I will follow back. 😊
http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

Pain is a driving force.

Tags

blogging, faith, gain, giving, happiness, hope, love, pain, success

I heard this said by Ron Dennis in an interview with Martin Brundel. The once dominant F1 racing team, now paired with Honda, they have struggled and the two famous racing drivers, Fernando Alonso and Jenson Botton are struggling with them! Although totally committed. Using the pain of losing as a tool to carry on, could this be something we could use In a cancer fight? That was what my thoughts led to, did I actually use my pain as a driving force to beat cancer. Well for sure I did and it’s a way many more could use to beat it to, that the pain is a way of encouragement and not discouragement. 
It is what I have done the whole way though cancer, used pain as a way of overcoming the pain; caused by the cancer treatment. But how would I communicate that with you, how would I explain that.

  
 Well it’s like this, for me I have wanted my journey to be documented, so that none of what I have faced in cancer has been wasted. So because I was in effect explaining how I felt, what I was experiencing in the hope it would help someone somewhere. It meant I had the pain for a reason. That pain had become useful a vehicle even, to benefit others through the very pain I was experiencing. Effectively because of what I have been feeling it has a positive effect on you the reader.

Because it is now seen, that the treatment that of course I had an option to have or not have. Has cured me of the cancer that caused me to have this treatment, whilst the nerve damage is painful and even a permanent lead weight weighing me down. It’s almost worth it, because I am still here to share it with you. So what was the choice, die or live with pain. That’s it really, to just know that the journey we are given is for a reason. I don’t know what your situation is in your life, or what you have faced and will face. What I do know is though, is that I have chosen to use my seemingly negative journey to bring hope to others that fight. It was never certain that I would make it, it was never guaranteed that my treatment would work. But I am certain that my attitude to it was part of winning the battle, and it’s my job to tell you that by saying the word can and believing you will not fail certainly gives you the best chance  of success. 

  

Don’t think I have not had days that I wanted to give up, to throw in the towel so to speak. I DID.  You don’t have to either, you can. Speak life to yourself. It’s a choice how to use what you are experiencing. Let me know what you think? What ever you think, what you go through today can help the people of tomorrow. If you let it.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

Diagnosis.

Tags

cancer, chemotheropy, diagnosis, faith, happiness, healing, illness, life, optimist, pessimist, terminal

I read a snippet from a blogger yesterday  Danny , his diagnosis was the start of a new journey. It got me thinking about my journey. My new WordPress friend does not have cancer, his diagnosis was something else. He has an amazing attitude, an attitude that life is a journey and so what if he had other plans on the old journey before his diagnosis. It’s the start of a brand new journey. I hear people say to me a lot it’s ok for you though your not terminal. My response is always the same “we are all terminal, it’s just you have a clearer idea of when that will be” 

  
See there are  only two ways to look at your future. You can either be an optimist or a pessimist. An optimist can see good in all situations, but a pessimist expects things to go wrong and expects there to be issues that will hinder their progress. Maybe a pessimist is more of a realist, what do you think. 

Back to the point, anyone that’s had a doctor sit in front of them knows how it feels to have a diagnosis given. I was not One of the lucky ones. Mine was “you have Cancer” very chilling words and they do take some time to get your head round. All sorts of other things went with that, the asking of questions, “what will happen if I don’t have treatment”? “what’s  Chemothearopy“? lots of things I asked like that. 

It’s only looking back that you realise that it was the start of a journey, one with lots of trials but at the same time, one I am glad I went on. Without cancer I would not be writing this blog, I would not have the friends I have. Cancer has given me so much. You see you can gain so much because of your diagnosis, you just have to keep your head up and keep Doing. Life is only a slog if we make it one, yesterday I put a note up.mit was a cactus picture. With the caption “just because your given a cactus it does not mean you have to sit on it” our attitude to desease is the key to a better journey with it. Hang our heads, and walk around like the world owes us a living ,then generally people will not want to help. Put your hand out to help someone up, and help will come to you. That’s the way the world works, a secret of a happy life. I love to discover secrets of life, little gems are always hidden. Only those that look for diamonds find them.

Have a great day.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

I am sick of it!!!

Tags

achievement, cancer, carryon, fight, happiness, poems, poet

All I seem to hear in days gone by,
Is how the evil has taken to many,
I don’t know how many times I will cry,
How many stars do we have to bury.

So much talent that has been taken already,
Cancer is the cause, it’s just so evil
People taken that are not even ready,
Because of the Evil that some call the devil.

It’s the knowing that we all leave with nothing,
No amount of wealth will sustain us against cancer,
Even if our life has meant something,
The end is the same in our answer.

So what can we learn from all of this sadness,
Maybe today is our last, who has the answer,
Please God help me to understand all this madness,
Please help me to live a life without cancer.
Written by

Mark Blackwell
http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Thanks for encouraging me to carry on 
Micheal33 thevisionofpoets  

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com
Our support group on our FB
https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536
It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Meet and Greet Weekend @ DBDO: 1/14/16

Tags

beauty, blog, blogging, community, fashion, fitness, goals, happiness, health, hope, money, success

It’s the Meet and Greet weekend at Dream Big!!  I hope everyone’s January is off to a great start! Ok so here are the rules: Leave a link to your page or post in the comments of this post. Reblog this post.  It helps you, it helps me, it helps everyone!  So don’t be […]
http://dreambigdreamoften.co/2016/01/15/meet-and-greet-weekend-dbdo-new-years-day-2016/
Great idea this, 

This was my blog today to.

Caregivers.  | fonzandcancer blogging daily to encourage.

https://fonzandcancer.wordpress.com/2016/01/15/caregivers/

Love yourself.

Tags

achieve, affair, age, animal, attitude, avec, awareness, baby, banned, be live, because, believer, Bellamy, best, birthday, black, blood, bone, BONE MARROW TRANSPLANT, brain, can, cancer, chemo, chemotheropy, Christian, Christmas, Christmaseve, Cole, Compassion, courage, cricket, cruise, CS, dad, David, dead, death, define, Depressed, depression, desire, destiny, diagnosis, did, died, Do, does, Edmonds, empathy, encouragement, endurance, energy, England, Eve, expect, Experience, facebook, faith, falling, Families, family, floating, foundations, friends, gallery, gift, gifts, given, goals, GOD, Good, Goodness, great, greatness, guilt, Hannah, hansolo, happiness, happy, hard, healing, health, help, Hodgkins, hope, hospital, Jewish, jobs, Johnny, know, last day, Learn, Leicester, life, lire, Listen, live, lived, Liverpool, London, longevity, Lord'sPrayer, love, loved, Low, machine, marks, marrow, MDU, meal, meaning, memories, memory, Monkey, morph, Morris, motivation, mum, muscle, Muslim, Natalie Cole, Natking, neurology, neutrapeenic, new year, Noel, not, of, oncology, one, one day, onedirection, Paddington, Paris, partner, passion, Peace, people, persevere, precious, Presence, R2D2, raise, real, reality, recover, regret, Rejected, Rejection, relentless, Remember, resolution, rises, Samaritan, SENSATION, Sharing, shortbread, silverback, somebody, southport, Spirituality, square, stage, star, stats, Stemcell, Steve, StevenHawkins, StMichael, stories, strength, struggle, survived, survivor, swopshop, taught, teach, tennis, Thames, thankyou, there, time, today, together, Tohetehr, Tony hart, transplant, Transplanted, travel, tree, true, tvr, twitter, unite, unity, wars, WE, weakness, wealth, wealthy, what, white, who you are, will, win, Wordpress, working, Writing, yang, year, yes, yin, you, yourself

Throughout my life there have been many stages, but one lesson I would say is perhaps the hardest, or maybe took the longest. Was to learn to love myself, you see most people blame situations people, ( I was dealt a bad hand)  my friend says it like. The people in the pub that have a woulda coulda story – if only it was not for such and such. Well it’s all a load of rubbish. Absolute BS. Our future is in our hands but unfortunately, if we don’t live ourselves we will find life is so much harder than it would otherwise be should we be happy with who we are. We have to become that person that when the person who is looking back, your content with. I am not saying the full article because no human is ever the ful article in my opinion. We learn until the day we die if always want to improve ourselves. 

  
I personally want to better today than I was yesterday, I think they call it growing. Always learning and always becoming a better you. Let me put it this way, a house needs solid foundations to last. Without solid foundations there will be cracks in the plaster in time, bricks will move and the house will become unstable. Loving yourself is the foundation for everything we build on top of it, a relationship, the ability to live with your whole heart, holding down a good job, respect from others. No one will respect you if you don’t respect yourself.  

  
I found the right person to marry because I had found myself in travelling Australia, yup that’s what it took for me. It was not till I was 36 and a broken marriage behind me that I became truly happy with the reflection in my mirror. Very late in life I would say, but at least I got there in the end. Cancer has honed me, made me a better more rounded person enabling me to see life through the eyes of a disability. The disability being the disabling treatments that my cancer demanded. In your life you will have your own challenges, but what ever happens in your life love the person who you are before you build a life.

Have a great weekend

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB
https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. 

Chemo Brain.

Tags

achieve, affair, age, animal, attitude, avec, awareness, baby, banned, be live, because, believer, Bellamy, best, birthday, black, blood, bone, BONE MARROW TRANSPLANT, brain, can, cancer, chemo, chemotheropy, Christian, Christmas, Christmaseve, Cole, Compassion, courage, cricket, cruise, CS, dad, David, dead, death, define, Depressed, depression, desire, destiny, diagnosis, did, died, Do, does, Edmonds, empathy, encouragement, energy, England, Eve, expect, Experience, facebook, faith, falling, Families, family, floating, foundations, friends, gallery, gift, gifts, given, goals, GOD, Good, Goodness, great, greatness, guilt, Hannah, hansolo, happiness, happy, hard, healing, health, help, Hodgkins, hope, hospital, Jewish, jobs, Johnny, know, last day, Learn, Leicester, life, lire, Listen, live, lived, Liverpool, London, longevity, Lord'sPrayer, love, loved, Low, machine, marks, marrow, MDU, meal, meaning, memories, memory, Monkey, morph, Morris, motivation, mum, muscle, Muslim, Natalie Cole, Natking, neurology, neutrapeenic, new year, Noel, not, of, oncology, one, one day, onedirection, Paddington, Paris, partner, passion, Peace, people, persevere, precious, Presence, R2D2, raise, real, reality, recover, regret, Rejected, Rejection, relentless, Remember, resolution, rises, Samaritan, SENSATION, Sharing, shortbread, silverback, somebody, southport, Spirituality, square, stage, star, stats, Stemcell, Steve, StevenHawkins, StMichael, stories, strength, struggle, survived, survivor, swopshop, taught, teach, tennis, Thames, thankyou, there, time, today, together, Tohetehr, Tony hart, transplant, Transplanted, travel, tree, true, tvr, twitter, unite, unity, wars, WE, weakness, wealth, wealthy, what, white, who you are, will, win, Wordpress, working, Writing, yang, year, yes, yin, you, yourself

I read an article today on a site called Had cancer, talking about different ways that we feel sometimes years after having had chemotheropy. Some doctors say it does not exsist, (apparently) I have never had this exsperience with doctors myself but then I am quite a large person both physically and in personality. After reading the article I realised that maybe I could write about the very thing that frustrates me so much. So let me explain how it is for me as a cancer patient that like the person who wrote the article. I had cancer!

So for me when I was having chemo, even my first chemo (mine was very strong) it had to be I was at 4 a and in a bad way. Close to losing my life and riddled with cancer. Remember in previous blogs I have talked about chemo feeling like snakes in your head, it did. Sometimes your head even hurts as you remember stuff, but then your brain is a muscle. It has lots of connections in the brain that need to work in a certain way. Now I am not a doctor, but it makes sense to me that maybe the brain has been affected in a small way by the drugs pumped into my body. I do forget things where I didn’t before. So I have to write things down to remember them. Where as before I really never did I just remembered.

Trust me no cancer patient uses it as an excuse, after all who wants to forget? I look like a Pratt sometimes because I repeat myself, repeat myself. Seriously though it’s embarrassing.

  Picture by Fine acupuncture.com
People that have not had cancer will never understand how it affects a human being. How can they, we must excuse their ignorance in not trying to even understand. I have been insulted, even misjudged by people close to me. I have to realise it’s not something they will understand unless they try to. Walking around pointing the finger at someone suffering does not help anyone.

Chemo brain can last for years so if it’s you, know it’s a possible normal for you. It’s frustrating because people may get annoyed at you, no one will understand unless they have researched what you maybe feeling. It does not mean we have lost our intelligence. It means we have been affected by chemothearopy, our memories may not be up to scratch but it does not mean we are inadequate. Far from it, chemo brain is real. But the fact is that chemo brain is much more frustrating for the person with it than it is for the person communicating with that person. Have a great day and know that your not alone, there are I suspect many that will read this and realise that it’s normal and even feel a bit better about it. Because others feel what they do.

Have a good weekend

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB
https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. 

Do u listen to understand or listen to reply.

Tags

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Do you know the differance? Ok well here is my take on it. If your a friend to someone you will listen to understand what they are going through or facing. If you listen to reply, you are more interested in what your opinion is than helping the person to deal with the problem they are telling you about. God, if you believe there is a God ( I do). When he made us made us with 2 ears and one mouth, interesting don’t you think?  Does that not mean we should listen more than we speak, sounds  daft as I write this as I love speaking, but I also love to solution stuff. The only way we can solution is by listening, I love coming up with answers to situations. But hate jigsaws.

For a long time in my life I thought that people wanted to hear my opinion, when in fact the person that really wanted to hear my opinion was Me. I was a selfish person in some ways, even though my motive may have been good the result of my motive was to reply with my opinion. 

  
I have realised that by listening your learning, and when your speaking you are not learning anything at all. It’s a skill to listen and one I am working on everyday, as I endeavour to complete my challenge of blogging everyday for a whole year. 365 days. I am busy learning to as I get feedback from people, people that care, some are surprised that I am nearly 3/4 of the way through and still am doing what I said I would do. I know it’s helping people be use people are telling me and I am listening. Using the skill I am honing to listen to other people to understand as opposed to reply. 

  
Listening to understand not only gives us more knowledge but also it helps us to understand people and their situations. Which I turn gives us experience. The one thing about exsperience is you can’t buy it, you can buy someone to tell us from their exsperience, but if we want to have exsperience we have no choice but to listen and learn from someone else.  Because that’s what listening to understand does. It gives us the exsperience that we can call on in another situation in the future. We may be able to recall what we have learnt and help us in our very own situation. This may mean nothing to you, you may think you know what I am saying and don’t need to hear it. If that’s the case then you will not learn anything.

Have a great Friday,

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB
https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. 

Steve job (his final words)

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This is what one of the richest men ever to become wealthy thought of life. Some of the things I have been saying in my blogs… This writing may not be exact, some think incorrect. I just think the words are perfect and for all mankind!

Steve Jobs’ Last Words –
I reached the pinnacle of success in the business world.

In others’ eyes, my life is an epitome of success.
However, aside from work, I have little joy. In the end, wealth is only a fact of life that I am accustomed to.
At this moment, lying on the sick bed and recalling my whole life, I realize that all the recognition and wealth that I took so much pride in, have paled and become meaningless in the face of impending death.
In the darkness, I look at the green lights from the life supporting machines and hear the humming mechanical sounds, I can feel the breath of god of death drawing closer…
Now I know, when we have accumulated sufficient wealth to last our lifetime, we should pursue other matters that are unrelated to wealth…

Should be something that is more important:
Perhaps relationships, perhaps art, perhaps a dream from younger days …

Non-stop pursuing of wealth will only turn a person into a twisted being, just like me.
God gave us the senses to let us feel the love in everyone’s heart, not the illusions brought about by wealth.
The wealth I have won in my life I cannot bring with me.

What I can bring is only the memories precipitated by love.

That’s the true riches which will follow you, accompany you, giving you strength and light to go on.
Love can travel a thousand miles. Life has no limit. Go where you want to go. Reach the height you want to reach. It is all in your heart and in your hands.

What is the most expensive bed in the world? – “Sick bed” …
You can employ someone to drive the car for you, make money for you but you cannot have someone to bear the sickness for you.

Material things lost can be found. But there is one thing that can never be found when it is lost – “Life”.
When a person goes into the operating room, he will realize that there is one book that he has yet to finish reading – “Book of Healthy Life”.
Whichever stage in life we are at right now, with time, we will face the day when the curtain comes down.
Treasure Love for your family, love for your spouse, love for your friends…
Treat yourself well. Cherish others.
  
Look after each other

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

If it’s meant to be, it WILL be.

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This is a must read, a true story that has touched my heart!
As I walked home one freezing day, I stumbled on a wallet someone had lost in the street. I picked it up and looked inside to find some identification so I could call the owner. But the wallet contained only three dollars and a crumpled letter that looked as if it had been in there for years.
The envelope was worn and the only thing that was legible on it was the return address. I started to open the letter, hoping to find some clue. Then I saw the dateline–1924. The letter had been written almost 60 years ago.
It was written in a beautiful feminine handwriting on powder blue stationery with a little flower in the left-hand corner. It was a “Dear John” letter that told the recipient, whose name appeared to be Michael, that the writer could not see him anymore because her mother forbade it. Even so, she wrote that she would always love him.
It was signed, Hannah.
It was a beautiful letter, but there was no way except for the name Michael, that the owner could be identified. Maybe if I called information, the operator could find a phone listing for the address on the envelope.
“Operator,” I began, “this is an unusual request. I’m trying to find the owner of a wallet that I found. Is there anyway you can tell me if there is a phone number for an address that was on an envelope in the wallet?”
She suggested I speak with her supervisor, who hesitated for a moment then said, “Well, there is a phone listing at that address, but I can’t give you the number.” She said, as a courtesy, she would call that number, explain my story and would ask them if they wanted her to connect me.
I waited a few minutes and then she was back on the line. “I have a party who will speak with you.”
I asked the woman on the other end of the line if she knew anyone by the name of Hannah. She gasped, “Oh! We bought this house from a family who had a daughter named Hannah. But that was 30 years ago!”
“Would you know where that family could be located now?” I asked.
“I remember that Hannah had to place her mother in a nursing home some years ago,” the woman said. “Maybe if you got in touch with them they might be able to track down the daughter.”
She gave me the name of the nursing home and I called the number. They told me the old lady had passed away some years ago but they did have a phone number for where they thought the daughter might be living.
I thanked them and phoned. The woman who answered explained that Hannah herself was now living in a nursing home.
This whole thing was stupid, I thought to myself. Why was I making such a big deal over finding the owner of a wallet that had only three dollars and a letter that was almost 60 years old?
Nevertheless, I called the nursing home in which Hannah was supposed to be living and the man who answered the phone told me, “Yes, Hannah is staying with us.”
Even though it was already 10 p.m., I asked if I could come by to see her. “Well,” he said hesitatingly, “if you want to take a chance, she might be in the day room watching television.”
I thanked him and drove over to the nursing home. The night nurse and a guard greeted me at the door. We went up to the third floor of the large building. In the day room, the nurse introduced me to Hannah.
She was a sweet, silver-haired oldtimer with a warm smile and a twinkle in her eye. I told her about finding the wallet and showed her the letter. The second she saw the powder blue envelope with that little flower on the left, she took a deep breath and said, “Young man, this letter was the last contact I ever had with Michael.”
She looked away for a moment deep in thought and then said softly, “I loved him very much. But I was only 16 at the time and my mother felt I was too young. Oh, he was so handsome. He looked like Sean Connery, the actor.”
“Yes,” she continued. “Michael Goldstein was a wonderful person. If you should find him, tell him I think of him often. And,” she hesitated for a moment, almost biting her lip, “tell him I still love him. You know,” she said smiling as tears began to well up in her eyes, “I never did marry. I guess no one ever matched up to Michael…”
I thanked Hannah and said goodbye. I took the elevator to the first floor and as I stood by the door, the guard there asked, “Was the old lady able to help you?”
I told him she had given me a lead. “At least I have a last name. But I think I’ll let it go for a while. I spent almost the whole day trying to find the owner of this wallet.”
I had taken out the wallet, which was a simple brown leather case with red lacing on the side. When the guard saw it, he said, “Hey, wait a minute! That’s Mr. Goldstein’s wallet. I’d know it anywhere with that bright red lacing. He’s always losing that wallet. I must have found it in the halls at least three times.”
“Who’s Mr. Goldstein?” I asked as my hand began to shake.
“He’s one of the oldtimers on the 8th floor. That’s Mike Goldstein’s wallet for sure. He must have lost it on one of his walks.” I thanked the guard and quickly ran back to the nurse’s office. I told her what the guard had said. We went back to the elevator and got on. I prayed that Mr. Goldstein would be up.
On the eighth floor, the floor nurse said, “I think he’s still in the day room. He likes to read at night. He’s a darling old man.”
We went to the only room that had any lights on and there was a man reading a book. The nurse went over to him and asked if he had lost his wallet. Mr. Goldstein looked up with surprise, put his hand in his back pocket and said, “Oh, it is missing!”
“This kind gentleman found a wallet and we wondered if it could be yours?”
I handed Mr. Goldstein the wallet and the second he saw it, he smiled with relief and said, “Yes, that’s it! It must have dropped out of my pocket this afternoon. I want to give you a reward.”
“No, thank you,” I said. “But I have to tell you something. I read the letter in the hope of finding out who owned the wallet.”
The smile on his face suddenly disappeared. “You read that letter?”
“Not only did I read it, I think I know where Hannah is.”
He suddenly grew pale. “Hannah? You know where she is? How is she? Is she still as pretty as she was? Please, please tell me,” he begged.
“She’s fine…just as pretty as when you knew her.” I said softly.
The old man smiled with anticipation and asked, “Could you tell me where she is? I want to call her tomorrow.” He grabbed my hand and said, “You know something, Mister? I was so in love with that girl that when that letter came, my life literally ended. I never married. I guess I’ve always loved her.”
“Mr. Goldstein,” I said, “Come with me.”
We took the elevator down to the third floor. The hallways were darkened and only one or two little night-lights lit our way to the day room where Hannah was sitting alone watching the television. The nurse walked over to her.
“Hannah,” she said softly, pointing to Michael, who was waiting with me in the doorway. “Do you know this man?”
She adjusted her glasses, looked for a moment, but didn’t say a word. Michael said softly, almost in a whisper, “Hannah, it’s Michael. Do you remember me?”
She gasped, “Michael! I don’t believe it! Michael! It’s you! My Michael!” He walked slowly towards her and they embraced. The nurse and I left with tears streaming down our faces.
“See,” I said. “See how the Good Lord works! If it’s meant to be, it will be.”
About three weeks later I got a call at my office from the nursing home. “Can you break away on Sunday to attend a wedding? Michael and Hannah are going to tie the knot!”
It was a beautiful wedding with all the people at the nursing home dressed up to join in the celebration. Hannah wore a light beige dress and looked beautiful. Michael wore a dark blue suit and stood tall. They made me their best man.
The hospital gave them their own room and if you ever wanted to see a 76-year-old bride and a 79-year-old groom acting like two teenagers, you had to see this couple.
A perfect ending for a love affair that had lasted nearly 60 years.

  

Your past does not define you.

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Who you were you cannot change, but what you become is in your hands. You can be what ever you want to be, do what ever you want to do. You can achieve what ever you want to achieve. It’s believing what you say is true. You see for you to achieve what you want to achieve it means  you first have to believe it’s possible then step out in faith putting one foot in front of the other, and move forward. You see the further you move forwards the dimmer the light of your “what was”  will be. Of course I am meaning for my cancer journey, it’s not something I want or need to remember. The more days I live without cancer, the more I believe it’s possible to have a future with out it.

  
Whilst this blog will be short, it’s just to remind you and me. That because we have had cancer and are in remmission, this does not define us as a person. Even if you are having treatment it does not define you, what defines you is what you do right now. What you choose to become, your not defined by what someone thinks of you, what their opinion is, is not for you to know. What matters is what you want out of this life, if that’s to sit with your head in your hands blaming God knows what as to the reason you have cancer. That’s your choice, and that is what defines you. But I want you to know  that you have the choice everyday to leave that past behind you. The definition of you is in your hands.

You are so much more than you are today. 

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB
https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536
It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. 

13 Destructive Mindsets That Will Stifle Your Growth in 2016

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Re blogged from http://www.fonzandcancer.com 

I want you to be determined and resolute in your mind that 2016 is going to be your Year of Growth.  I want you to visualize in your mind the goals you want to achieve.  I want you to feel the success.   I want you to feel the emotion of being scared.  I want […]

http://dreambigdreamoften.co/2016/01/06/13-destructive-mindsets-that-will-keep-you-from-growing/

The day I died. (What I saw)

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  Today I went to see Roy and Vickie, we talked seamlessly for over 2 hours. It was a really pleasant time, Roy shared with me his cancer story. It was a good time, I was asked the same question as Dave and Anne asked me though. “Do I ever get down” so now I will tell you how I cope with that, how I did cope with that, and hopefully what makes me feel like that. 

It’s hard to know where to start really, because people seem to think I am some kind of infalable  being that just gets on an does it. (Not true) it’s hard for me to talk about being weak, as it’s not in my nature to show that side of me. However the bible talks about when I am weak then he is strong. Don’t get me wrong I am not going to come across all religious on you, but this is how it happened to me. I remember quite distinctly the day that I realised beating cancer was not possible, cancer stories did not exsist then. I know if it had I would most certainly have coped better, I remember watching a movie I think it was called the awakening. Robert de Nero played a part of someone who deteriated badly, I remember how I wept the know the audible crying, feeling like you are out of control. I dropped to my knees that night, I cryed out loud. Please help me if your there, I can’t do this alone. I was not finding it hard fighting cancer, I could no longer do it anymore. It was just a wave of negativity that flooded my being, it would not be the last either. That was just the beginning of digging to the deepest you thought possible,my then having to dig deeper again.
Us humans are stubborn when it comes to losing our lives, or I was anyway. I had found the recipe for the rest of my life, a good wife, a great house. My little sports car, my faith but the one thing that was holding all that together was my health. Even so, no matter how sick I felt I always got up, I remember one day when I did not get up till 5 pm. There being a cold chill in my room, it felt like I was being taken. Dieing, that I was slipping away. I felt like I was being pulled out of a sleeping bag as they tried to take my life. I refused and fought like hell that day, getting up for tea time. I dare not sleep that day and night drinking plenty of fluid, feeling like snakes were in my head. The drugs I was on were pioneering drugs, as I was on a trial for a new drug that I agreed to have put in my body. Eventually over Christmas 2011 I finished my chemo and had the Christmas they said I would not have without the treatment. Apparently I had gotten into remission. No fan fare no party, they were just words that I did not believe. I felt all along it was still there!
I was explaining today how my cancer hid, and although I was supposed to be in remission. I knew the cancer cells were hiding in my bones. I could feel them almost laughing at me. Non of the scans picked it up, as they were rougue cells and scanners only picked up clusters. Everyday I would get up and wonder if today was the day it would show itself. Although I did put faith into practice by buying a Labrador and calling her Faith as that’s what I needed to get into remmission.

  
I remember when it came back again (hard recalling this) coiling up into a ball and  crying my heart out. The consultant had told me I would have to have my bone marrow removed, and have a stem cell transplant. This was to be done in isolation in a tiny room. Excuse my language, but how in the hell could I possibly do that, were they mad! I could see no way. For me it was a step to far, an impossible ask. I ached hopelessly inside, I asked time and time again if there was another option. Non what so ever this was my only hope, no more life for me with out it. It made me shake, I would be physically sick at the thought. 

In everyone of those moments, I made myself read positivity. Quotes from the bible, positive people on Twitter, Google and many other places just positives. Friends, family, everyone was only to speak positively to me. No moaning. When I finally got into the room. That big silverback became a weak hopeless human, put into the hands of medicine. 

The day I became nutrapenic, I felt really strange I left my body and even though I was talking to Andie, I felt like I was actually leaving the planet. I held on tight to Andies hand, I believed it was to early. That what was the point in me being the one who did not make it  surely there was a reason for me having this. As I hovered above myself I remember hearing the words “not yet” I don’t know who said them but it certainly was a comfort to me. The day before that I had been sat by the window shaking violently, imagining myself timing sheets together to escape. The door was always open, I could have left at any time, it was not escape from Alcatraz. That’s what being neutapenic made me feel.

So my friends, all of these things I felt, some I still feel. I know what the guilt feels like, to have made it where others don’t. That’s the only “why me” sentence I have said. Remember this, when you think there is no more to give. There always is, with determination AND FAITH you. “yes you” can do ANYTHING. Don’t give up, because you have friends.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB
https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. 

Thank you Cancer.

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achieve, affair, age, animal, attitude, avec, awareness, baby, banned, because, believer, Bellamy, best, birthday, black, blood, bone, BONE MARROW TRANSPLANT, can, cancer, chemotheropy, Christian, Christmas, Christmaseve, Cole, Compassion, courage, cricket, cruise, CS, dad, David, dead, death, Depressed, depression, desire, destiny, diagnosis, did, Do, does, Edmonds, encouragement, energy, England, Eve, expect, Experience, facebook, faith, falling, Families, family, floating, foundations, friends, gallery, gift, gifts, given, goals, GOD, Good, Goodness, great, greatness, guilt, Hannah, hansolo, happiness, happy, hard, healing, health, help, Hodgkins, hope, hospital, Jewish, jobs, Johnny, know, last day, Leicester, life, lire, live, lived, Liverpool, London, longevity, Lord'sPrayer, love, loved, Low, machine, marks, marrow, MDU, meal, meaning, memories, memory, Monkey, morph, Morris, motivation, mum, muscle, Muslim, Natalie Cole, Natking, neurology, neutrapeenic, new year, Noel, not, of, oncology, one, one day, onedirection, Paddington, Paris, partner, passion, Peace, people, persevere, precious, Presence, R2D2, raise, real, reality, recover, regret, Rejected, Rejection, relentless, Remember, resolution, rises, Samaritan, SENSATION, Sharing, shortbread, silverback, somebody, southport, Spirituality, square, stage, star, stats, Stemcell, Steve, StevenHawkins, StMichael, stories, strength, struggle, survived, survivor, swopshop, taught, teach, tennis, Thames, thankyou, there, time, today, together, Tohetehr, Tony hart, transplant, Transplanted, travel, tree, true, tvr, twitter, unite, unity, wars, WE, weakness, wealth, wealthy, what, white, who you are, will, win, Wordpress, working, Writing, yang, year, yes, yin, you, yourself

Strange title you think? Really? Well if you think it’s strange you have not seen someone in remission, fight and win or you think cancer has taken loved ones to soon.  You see for me whilst I have fought like hell and won, along the way I have found inspirational people, people that I would not have met had it not been for cancer. Cancer stories has given everyone there the gift of friendship with someone. 

People around the world have been put in touch with each other and are talking to each other about the journey they had, and encouraging another who maybe facing the same journey. A couple of online papers have talked about what we have done, people message me with kindness. Giving encouragement to me to carry on blogging. If I am honest, I am exhausted today, finding it hard to stay awake even. Someone said the other day, cancer is the gift that keeps on giving. I am not sure if that was meant in a negative or positive way. But most certainly our attitude to what we face can help us, or hinder our progress. The daft thing is, by holding our head in our hands does in fact hinder us.

  
It’s only by standing up and choosing to face cancer and all that goes with it, that we find some good in the journey of Hell called cancer. For instance my friends Dave and Anne we would not know had we not been affected by cancer, we would not know those lovely people that are most certainly an asset to our lives most certainly not a hinderance. Anne serves a mean chocolate eclair and not just any eclair either. Only mns in their house.  We have come into contact with many people with great hearts, even gaining a sister along the way. Cancer whilst attempting to take my life has given us gifts, not without looking for the gifts did we find them though. 

The fact of the matter is though that cancer comes with some positivity once we are able to see through the pain that it gave to us, be it death, physical pain, disability, cancer helps us to value what ever we have left, it gives us a new way to look at life. Only being touched by cancer can we see this way of looking at the world. Because without cancer I would not have the sensitivity towards people I have now, and the tanasity to turn away from negativity. Each minute becomes more precious than before and there is no room in it to be wasted around anyone that has an inability to look at the positives that life has to offer.

Enjoy today, it’s a great day.

Fonz 

Things I want to happen in 2016.

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Some may have put, things they don’t want to happen this year, but I prefer to have a positive spin on things. There are lots of things I want to happen but I guess the no 1 I need to put last. The opposite to what you would expect in the hope that you read the whole blog 😆.

So in no particular order apart from my no1 which will be last.

• I Want to be a 34 ” waist I keep kidding myself I am a 36″ but all my jeans are stretching, as I have to breath in to put them on.
• To get out in Trevor more this year.
• To write better than ever before.
• To get 200 followers on my WordPress account.
• To help more people in 2016 than I did in 2015.
• To do the jobs I said I would do in 2015 in 2016.
• To pick up my nephew Zac from school just once in Trevor.
• To fulfil an ambition (I will blog about that when it happens)
• To not voice my disappointments, but accept its not my problem to deal with.
• To put my wife before anyone else ALL year. ( I believe I do that every year) nothing wrong with a bit of consistency.
• To complete my 365 day blog challenge. I have completed 249 so far.
• To get 1000 a day average view ( maybe unattainable ) I am not that good yet.
• To encourage more people in their own blogging experience.

Lastly to remain cancer free! 

  
I do not want cancer in my life at all from now on, but it does take effort to eat well and not binge on anything, like sweet things, pop, chocolate, ect. Eating well takes effort and Percy verance . Staying away from processed foods makes a huge difference to. Some processed foods for example –  farmed salmon have canceragenic   Properties. It’s a huge subject and one I want to learn more about this year.

Have you written down some goals for this year? Thanks to all of you that read and share with out you my blogs would be just read by friends and family. Thank you.

Have a great week, see this Monday as a new start and a new opportunity. NOT the Monday feeling of the holiday is over.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB
https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. 

Tony Heart, gone.

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How many times did I watch Tony heart, he was one of life’s inspirers. He encouraged children to do works of art, I will never forget what you gave us and me Tony. Wow such a loss.. I will not forget you. This happened in 2009 but I love to remember people. I figure by blogging it’s there forever.

  
A BBC link with the details

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7836112.stm

I love to make small tributes to people’s lives that have affected our now. Now morph did not affect it, but he did and has made me laugh many times I wonder what you remember?

Just some reminders of a great British programme.

RIP Tony Hart

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com 

Rejection.

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Did you know this is a kind of bullying, even a form of abuse. Many people reject someone because of the way they look, maybe because they have some kind of desease. During my cancer journey I have been rejected by so many people that do not understand cancer. We have all felt it in our lives, we know what it’s like to not be liked by the kid on the street, or the work colleague that excludes you. I guess people reject anything or anyone that is not the same as them. 

  
I used to get very scared as a young boy, because when I was bullied I would get into trouble at home as well. Because more often than not I would get my coat stolen or bleed on a new shirt. I without doubt suffered rejection allot in my life, especially by the bullies on the bus. I have chosen to show love to all people and smile at and with people, I have chosen a path where I don’t judge everyone I meet, I choose to love everyone I meet. People want to bury their heads in the sand and pretend it’s not happened or happening. Well sorry for those that want a quiet life and for the truth to be unspoken, or just not speak of it. I have many things I wish to speak about, from now on I will, I won’t keep my thoughts under lock and key anymore. The world will know the truth and that truth shall set me free.

  
I have learned how to love, because I have been shown what true love is, it’s consistency, acceptance, and putting the other person first ALWAYS.

It’s 1 Corinthians 13  
1 Corinthians 13New International Version (NIV) While I hope to be some of 1 Corinthians every day, I do know I am not perfect. But do my best every day.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. 

It’s my wife that has taught me what consistency is, what home is. For the first time in my life as an adult I know what home feels like. The time before that I was 4,5,6 yrs old when we lived in Brighton now it’s in southport. I have lived here for nearly 6 years and even though I have fought off the beast called cancer whilst living here. It still feels like home. That feeling when you put the log fire on and settle down with our dog by my side and my wife with me, along with the cat stretched out in front of the fire. My home is not just a place to live, it’s a place where I feel welcome, loved and wanted by all the people that live here. That’s after all my safe place, a place where we don’t hurt each other, a place where we feel warm secure and needed. No feeling of rejection will anyone feel in our home, because our home is a place of safety. 

Rejection in cancer exsists in everyone’s journey I am finding out, it’s sad that people cut other’s off or alienate them because they are not well . It’s not just people with cancer either, it’s people that are misunderstood. People facing a situation that quite frankly the person who does not understand it does not even bother to find out about it. 

If that’s you and you need support there is a group of people that have had similar experiences called cancer stories  

https://www.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536/

You will be welcomed there, people who have had similar exsperiences and can empathise with you. So know your not alone, it’s common place in cancer but there is love and support out there from people that understand what you are feeling and experience. People there have been where you are and will do what we can for you.

Have a good day

Fonz

 

Stats and wordpress! Because of you….

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Wow this week has been amazing! It’s now Saturday my worst day in stats on wordpress is always a Saturday. But yesterday, New Year’s Day. Broke more records than Elton John. I had more likes yesterday than any other day, more followers follow my blog than any other day and my blog had been read by more people than ever before. As you can imagine I was really chuffed, I was chuffed for a couple of reasons. My main reason though was that more people were obviously interested in my writings therefore more people were being encouraged by the hell I had been through. Meaning my consistency in blogging was and is worth it. 

  
 
As you can see from the picture 467 ain’t bad for a new blogger right? Or am I wrong, am I still not doing so good? The feeling is good that I have I mean in the same week there was a day with 967 views I mean that’s nearly a thousand. More than all the pupils that went to my high school! 

  
There are my stats for the week last night. So what’s the point of today’s blog. Well it’s to thank all of you for reading and making New Year’s Day a special day for me in 2016 it’s a great start. So thank you! I was getting dispondent that is until yesterday when I also met another blogger called hugsandblessings she encouraged me and it was then that I realised, you need me like I need you. That you need me to help others read your blog, and I need you for the same reason. I know it’s obvious but it was like a eureka moment. God bless you all. 

Lastly to all of you that are dispondent like I was, seeing my weekly stats dwindle week on week. If you help others by telling others about someone else they will help you out naturally. Have a healthy new year everyone, I am hopefully going to enjoy a cancer free year. Now that’s worth fighting for.

Have a great weekend

Fonz

Natalie Cole Dead.

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It so sad that this has to happen to each and everyone of us, Natalie Cole dieing. Whilst sad, exstemly sad. She has without doubt left behind a legacy encouraged by her dad, Nat King Cole. 

So now it’s time for us to miss you like crazy Natalie. Thanks so much for the legacy you have left, you will never be forgotten.

This lady was part of my childhood, and of so many more around the world. No amount of money can stop the enevitable, it just makes me so much more than ever before want to make a differance in the short life that I have.

Natalie you are truly unforgettable.

  
65 is no age at all, way to young. 

Make the most of your life

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

What’s holding you back.

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Who has the right to stop you from being who you are, no one. I myself pride myself on being the person that says yes to my wife, the person that encourages her to achieve her goals. That’s why she drives the car she does, that’s why she has the opportunities she does. I have no right to stop her being who she is, no one has the right to stop you either. I read a blog today, in the blog she spoke about. If you want a burger have it, I agree. We only get one chance at this life so be who you are, don’t dress yourself up with all the pretentious shite people seem to want to do these days. I refuse to be in a place where there are people, that expect of me in a certain way. 

What of that? Does that make me selfish, or does that make me an individual. So many people follow each other’s example, mimicking them almost. Why is it then that a Billionaire wants to have something no one in the world has. Well I think it’s because they can afford to. I want to be the person I am from now on, why? Because I have fought for these days and there is nowhere, no place for people to attempt, to Mold me into something I am not. In this life and in this year. Are you going to follow the masses, or are you going to be the person you want to be. 
You see by “fitting in” some people call it, you are effectively pleasing those around you and not yourself. My wife is an individual, I don’t own her I am not her boss. But what I am is someone who encourages her to be the person she feels comfortable with. 

  
The only change you need to make in 2016 is to be TRUE to yourself. Those that want me to fit in are in for a shock because it’s not what I will be doing with my life from now on.  I will be being myself and I will be unconcerned what others opinions are. At the same time being interested to hear what someone’s thoughts on a subject are. Cancer has gone, I am here.

So happy new year, and let’s see the true you.

Enjoy being yourself

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB
https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. 

Remember this.

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One day, you know a day that we are living as if it’s our last. One  day at least we will be right. 

Oh how I want to be so wrong every day.

Happy new year

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

2015 review.

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2015 review, wow where do I start. Well I guess that would be 1st January 2015 but that’s not where the year began for me I began on the lads holiday 2014. When I felt a lump in my neck and knew I had to mention it to my consultant on my appointment 2 days after landing back in the uk. That led to an operation then ICE chemotherapy each cycle done over a 3 day period, in Feb, March and April then Beam chemo in isolation for 6 days and nights in May. completing 30 full days of chemotherapy in 5 years. 
   

 Just to explain a little what it took for the transplant, for those who know nothing of what’s required. Stem cell harvest wes allot of fun having a canular in one arm and a 1.5 mm needle in the other whilst they took my blood out harvested it in a machine, then put it back in my body. The whole process lasts about 5 hours repeated on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday until I had 4 million cells were collected. 

  
I remember on one particular day, a gentleman sat opposite, he has a hicc an line in so the needle was not required. You can’t move at all for the 5 hours, and watching his son eat a Burger King did make me salavate some what and get food envy. 

The transplant itself lasted 3 weeks laid in a bed in a room 15 ft X 12 ft. With only a tv and an I pad for company. The nurses who I can’t name made the Experience more bearable, I can’t name the staff at the Royal Liverpool but they are an amazing team as are the team in the MDU at southport. Without a doubt our local GP Dr Hindle played a huge part in saving my life.
 It was also the start of the first complete year for the group made possible by its 210 members. A group that not only has helped people along the way. It has helped people to help themselves to save their own lives. Needing the very people I had set out to help whilst on a new cancer journey again. You see I was in remission when I set up cancer stories, and although I felt I was not in remission, I hoped it would not return. It did.
Whilst the group has encouraged many, it has also seen much sadness spare a moment as we think of those that have left us.
Noel Smalley

Rita Hodgeon

Becca Parkes

James D peace
There are others that have passed but I am not permitted to speak of them in public.
Sadly missed but not forgotten

  
It was a year where I strove to get on my lads holiday in Turkey, seeing it as my goal to achieve. I lasted 2 days and came home to find that 24 hours later the hotel was swamped by water. Not a place for someone 100 days out of bone marrow transplant. My friends made the best of what they had, 8 days later going to Mexico with my wife, where we would meet friends for life and enjoy some of the best weather they had seen at that time of year. 

  
Mexico was to end up being our true celebration, not only to have an end to all that treatment, but to finally be declared cancer free once more. The word cured was even used. We celebrated our anniversary 5 years married to my amazing wife, who has been by my side all the way through all my cancer Experience, I can’t bring 2015 to an end with out mentioning someone else. Rachel Brown for allowing Andie to have her time by my side in hospital whilst having my bone marrow transplant. 

  
Finally knowing I have another day each morning is an amazing feeling and as a consequence I never want to waste a moment of it unhappy.  We also celebrated Andie turning 40, and hope to make a special announcement soon regarding Andies Carrea.

  
Outside of my personal experiences and support from family and friends. I want to say thank you to all those at cancer stories there are to many to list, but you all know who you are that reach out to other people sharing your journeys with others encouraging and enthusing people to get themselves into remission. Thank God for hospitals and people that dedicate their lives so we may have life, that we may continue to breath and encourage other people where they are at.
Wasn’t it amazing that 15 people that had never met were able to enjoy a meal together, almost being kicked out after 4 hrs 45 mins of constant chat without a break. A complete privilege. Bless you each and every one. 

  
I have hope in my heart and faith that many of you will improve in 2016, I hope with a hopeful heart that you will know words like remission and cure in between the scans and sunshine, rainy and cloudy days.
Thank you to all of you that have supported us, well it’s time to look forwards now. To buy gym memberships that we will use twice, give up fatty foods for a 2 day diet before we get over our guilt trips and live normally again. Start walking to the shops, until we remember having a car was easier.
Have a great 2016 and all the best
Fonz

One direction.

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One of the reasons I was able to overcome cancer, was that me and my wife and the friends and family on the journey with us were all pulling together. How I like to explain it is like this.

When ever me and Andie have a problem that needs solving, we talk about it together and work out a strategy together. I see the problem as a block of concrete so big that it cannot be moved by just one person. Both of us need to be pulling the block for it to move. But not only do we have to move it together, we have to both be pulling in the same direction. It’s no good if the idea is split in 2 and 2 people are pulling different ways. Nothing ever gets achieved that way, me and Andie have achieved so much this past year. Tomorrows blog will be thinking about all the things we have achieved together because we are both pulling in one direction.

  
Andie had an opportunity to be promoted from the role she is in over 12 months ago, it would have been wrong at that time in our lives facing beating cancer again. You see cancer tried to fight me, to bring me down to put me under, defeat me and affect our life in a negative way. Two people like us will never allow a situation to ultimately affect us in a negative way because we choose to work together to make the best of what we DO have. We don’t focus on what we cannot change like people’s actions towards us. The responses of people to us are just something we cannot change, what people chose or choose to do on any day in particular we cannot do anything about. It’s ultimately our response to it that matters, people can say and do hurtful things. It could be deemed bullying or even rejection, we choose together to work together to make the best of everything. Even removing yourself from a negative situation that can’t be changed can help with getting to the destination. 

  
Our new destination for the next phase in our lives we can’t tell you at the moment, but I can tell you that we will be touching more people’s lives than ever before in 2016. There will always be people there to try and take the shine off of what your aiming to do, I get shocked as to where the people come from that try to bring you down with their own limitations which some regard as negativity. You see this is the truth of life. The only person that stops your dream, or restricts it is the very mind that dreams the dream. The problem with big dreams, is the fact that with it brings more possibility for failure. I prefer to dream big and then break that down into successful days, weeks, months, and years. 

You are in control of the direction you choose, our direction is by supporting each other in making our dreams come true. I hope your enjoying your next to last day in 2015.

I hope you had a successful 2015. I also hope you enjoy planning your 2016.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB
https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536
It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. 

How to do GREAT work. (Steve jobs)

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  http://youtu.be/UF8uR6Z6KLc

Please watch this video.

The only way to do great work is to love what you do. I have a personal addiction, that is to people that are at the top of their game, people that have become the best that’s possible in that field. People that have used a lifetime, becoming the best at what they do. The only have one thing in common, all these people love what they do. They have not seen it as a chore to work, they have seen it as a way of life. Enjoying what they do everyday that some people call work, I am at a cross roads myself. I know what I love to do, I know that I am good at it and hope to pursue it to be the best I can be at it.

I adore encouraging people, I love to give people hope. It’s a passion of mine, I have and do not seek to make a living from it. I just want to make a difference in people’s lives, to help them to see the best in themselves.
I am fascinated by people like Steve jobs, Bill gates, Peter Jones, Duncan Balyntyne, Lewis  Hamilton, Guy Martin, to name a few people that inspire me. People that love what they do, people that are passionate about what they do. It was then that I realised something else that they had in common. All of them wanted or want other people to be successful, all of them encourage other people to become the best they can be. Whilst being at the top of their game, they have other people working with them that are also at the top of their game to.  I have allot of friends who are at the top of what they do, I am married to one of them. Two people who have been the most influential people on the planet I think are Steve jobs and Bill Gates. These people have made a fortune by helping people to have tec in their hands that can make them money. Something I am using right now. My IPad. Mine is the latest with the biggest memory. That’s thanks to the late Steve Job, also influenced by Bill gates. They both shared similar ethics. Building their company’s on Software, by giving us (the public) the capability of making software by providing us with the tools to make software. In turn helping people to make money at home by making things such as Apps.

I myself have chosen to write a blog a day for a year in the hope of reaching people experiencing cancer treatment, or the effects of cancer. To encourage them that they can win their battle also. I have not found it a chore writing my blogs, because it’s something that I love doing, now whilst I know I am not at the top of my game like Steve jobs was. I do know I am making a difference largely because of his vision to help people to help themselves with the tool for the job. ( no pun intended)

  
We all have an opportunity, it’s called Life. Are you wasting yours or using yours. That’s the key isn’t it, to use what you have (life) and use it to help others whilst not forgetting that family is THE most important in your life. At the beginning of my blogging journey, I did not really care about my spelling. But now I am starting to care a bit more, to do my best to be the best I can be. I don’t call mistakes failure, I call then lessons and a chance to learn.

I really hope this blog has encouraged you today, if nothing else to not settle until you find what you love to do, in turn doing great work because you love it. If I could only shake the hand of the man that has inspired me to inspire you. If indeed you are inspired.

Have a great day.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB
https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. 

My mum saved my life.

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Seems a strange thing to say doesn’t it, thank you cancer, but cancer has given me so much. It came into my life twice and tried to end my life twice. It picked the wrong man, my attitude was always that I would win. Never once did I imagine I would lose. I am fortunate though, if it was not for my mum I would for sure be dead.  Had she never told me I should get my lump checked out. See I just thought it was a swollen gland, never even once did I think a lump could possibly kill me! Well it didn’t it came and never realised just how hard it would be to get the better of me. I managed to get the better of it, not without the help of my family and friends.

  
My blog today Monday 28th December had the best day ever, even surpassing the blog  ” The Night I fell in love with Rita’s mum ” now it’s the blog about Steve Job that has now had the most hits, having more hits than the whole of last week in one day. Cancer has given me so many gifts, it has given me a new found wonder in the planet, I get pleasure from small things, our cat laid in front of the fire melts my heart. Children playing fills me with joy, I built a bike up for my friends son today. Seeing his beaming face was priceless. Everything on the planet is more valuable, family time is precious any time with my wife I adore and will not have it ruined. 

Birds singing a chorus, fish, laughter. My friend said the other day “Small things can make me tear up” it’s the same for me also. Cancer has given me friends I would not have had, it’s given me the group Cancer stories. It’s given me a desire to have love in the home that I live in. More than ever I did. My dog enjoying a run, so many things I appreciate more because I HAD cancer. For that I have to thank my mum, because without her I would be dead. Thank you Mum.

Try and find your positive in your situation, because if you look they WILL be there.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB
https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. 

Star Wars

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We all have families, some are real loving ones. Some are distant in miles, some are wealthy. I am wealthy in family, because I have a loving wife who loves me dearly and knows me well. I was bought a Star Wars top this year by a family member, one that did not know me or it would never have been considered. It got me thinking though, how can someone that should know me so well get it so wrong. Maybe the time they had with me they never listened to what I liked, maybe they just bought it for me because I should like it. Or maybe it was a pound…..
Well my wife absolutely loves Star Wars, so it was not wasted, I am sure my wife will love wearing it with the picture of the millemem falcon on the front. It’s a man size so she will proberbly wear it as a nighty.. You know I have even watched the latest movie of Star Wars, we went to Liverpool to watch it at the gallery. You see it’s something my wife adores and I would do anything for my wife, and would take her anywhere. When we were sat in the cinema she said these words to me. “The last time I was with someone watching starwars at the cinema, I was with my dad” no previous partner had gone with her to see it because they did not like starwars. Her dad is no longer with us, he died at 59.. Such a short life, cancer took him, he had it in his stomach, maybe it had been there for 20 years. I don’t know if her dad loved starwars, but what I do know is that he went with her. 

  
Taking an interest in what someone loves is priceless, irreplaceable, because taking an interest in something another is interested in is an exsperience. Some people have blinkers on and only tune into their own interests because that’s all that matters to them. Some people don’t like football (like me) but again my wife loves it so I watch it and have banter with her because she loves it. She knows what I am passionate about, and she takes an interest in that also. For us our life is made richer because we learn about each other, I know about her dad and her grandparents, what they liked and disliked where they lived and what part they played in the war. Why because I want to keep the memories of those we lost alive.
I know that my dads love for football came from cricket, from a cricketer who used to also play for Arsenal. “Dennis Compton” his grandson plays for England to this day. How do I know that? Because my wife asked my dad. We then bought him a book on the man he respected, because we knew it would not be a waste of money. I don’t really like cricket either but I bet if you asked my dad he would think I did.. I have even been to meet Ian Botham, because I love people that have managed to be the best they can possibly be. I grew up with cricket and tennis in our house neither of which I love. Although Andy Murray is a pleasure to watch. I do however watch both, because if I try hard enough happy memories of being a boy come back doing the things my mum and dad loved. Playing cricket on the field with my day, and watching tennis with my mum whilst the sausages burnt, on a 14″ black and white tele.
I can’t stand Star Wars, but I love my wife. I know my wife does not wear nail varnish so I don’t buy it her it, my wife is exstemly beautiful and does not need to cake make up on, so I don’t buy it her. Next time I meet with the family we will play a little game. I hope you having a great Christmas break, and don’t forget to get to know the people you love.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB
https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. 

Your not alone…

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This Christmas for me is a huge milestone, but I think friends even family (some) have forgotten the previous battles. What it took to win this war. Maybe it’s easier for them to forget, for me what was is always in my now. The effects of what was is in my now. I am real emotional this Christmas, I keep having moments. Now I am not saying this for sympathy, just so that others will know that it’s normal that what I feel is documented. I hope that some day a person will get comfort from reading this blog, even just knowing that your not alone.

People do forget when it’s not happened to them, it’s better for them if you just don’t mention it or even communicate about it. The fact is though that the horror of what I have been through is all still so very real in my present. It’s like a reoccurring nightmare and all I want is to forget for a while. When I am around people I forget, people are like the tonic I need to get through. I want you to know, what I remember is in the form of flash backs. It’s not that I recall anything on purpose, really it’s not a journey that anyone would want to recall on purpose. 

  
All I want and need in my life is health and happiness, there are some people on the planet that naturally love us. There is not effort in that love, because it’s natrual. It’s is a love born out of accepting the other person and not wanting them to change. It has been said, if you are with people that are comfortable with the real you, you are with people that love you. I have friends like that, one is my brother and sister in law. I have some friends like that to, people that are in your lives that accept you are the ones you should treasure. They are rare, people that ask about you, not tell you about them. 

You are not alone in how you feel, when you have had a trauma in your life like cancer. We can’t exspect everyone to understand, only those in the cancer club truly understand what you have faced. Only people in the cancer club will truly be honest with you, because they know how it feels to have someone by your side that you can tell how you truly feel. We also know how it feels when someone does not let you know how they feel because they think your situation is worse. We don’t stop caring because we are ill, we still want there to be normality. But there is very little normality in cancer, the cancer club is a club of honest, real, genuine people. Once u accept that not everyone will understand what you are going through, you find having cancer is easier.

Have a great day,

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB
https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536
It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. 

Time

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The one thing that we give that’s impossible to get back, once it’s given its gone forever. I just don’t think people understand how precious time is. It’s something we all have, we have been given a certain amount of time some call it life. An amount of breaths allocated to us that all linked together equals life. You do it without even thinking, yet it’s the most important thing that we do.without even a second though. When you finally realise that the time you have, the days you have and the people you do it with are only here for a certain amount of time.

  
See I have started to adopt this thought pattern, if someone is in my life and makes it worse. I remove them, I make sure I don’t communicate with them because their choices make me unhappy. That’s a big step for me, because in previous years I would have tried to change them, or even change for them. I have learned through cancer that I am actually a really good human, a kind genuine human that does his best to help others and to make the moments I am involved in their life fun and even hope I may put a smile on someone’s face. I believe that the life I have is being used, in part. To enrich another’s world, can we ask anymore from a person? Is not doing our best, a gift to another human. Is not putting the needs of another before our own sacrificial.

It’s Christmas Day today and I hope you have a fabulous day with the people you love, your time is precious as are you. Be kind to each other love each other to the best of your ability. We only get one chance at this thing called life, me and Andrea are the only ones not seeing my parents tomorrow. A result of being childless. They will get a great breakfast on Boxing Day morning though… I already have some quality sausages to cook for them. Make sure you give the best you can of you today. It’s a nice soothing feeling to think that we don’t have to deal with having cancer in our lives this year, and hope our guests have a fabulous day with us. Talking about that, maybe I should get on with making some of tomorrow… 

Have a great day and a very happy Christmas to you

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB
https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. 

Your road to recovery.

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  Well, for me it’s not been the same as everybody else’s.  But what’s everybody’s else’s like, is their recovery different to mine. Yes I think so, although there are similarities. The trick is though I think, to not let other people think they are not doing as well as them, but to encourage them where they are at. No ones journey in recovery is the same as the next persons, everyone recovers at a different rate. I personally dislike it when I hear things like. “Well you will be ok” what evidence do they have to be able to say that. Will I? Wow thanks Doc… 

You see what ever you feel, what ever stage you are at in YOUR recovery, I want you to know that’s ok. You don’t have to be or get to a certain place at any specific time. It’s different for everyone, you see just because someone says it was like that for them does not mean your body will recover the same, or at the same rate. You may recover quickly, where someone else gets pains in places you never did or do. You are you, and I want you to know that you should not give yourself a hard time for your body not responding how someone else’s does.

Perspective-so a car can have a very small engine which means it’s really fuel efficient but can’t go fast, another can have a really big engine and can go really fast but is no good at fuel economy. You are who you are, accept yourself for who you are not what someone expects of you. Concentrate on healing how you heal, it may not be cancer. It maybe something completely different, but you are you. Whilst what I say is true, remember this also. That you can’t make a dream come true if you don’t dream a little.

  
So this Christmas Eve for me is special. Not for any other reason than I am alive, I am here to write to you that you can read what is written here. Because this time last year I was being operated on at 10.30 am and was supported by my wife to get me to this Christmas Eve. It’s here today, I am not on an operating table today though. I am thankful to be where I am today, I am also grateful you are able to read this. We have more to be thankful for than we realise.

Enjoy today

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB
https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. 

Because of cancer.

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Some people, people that have not had a long battle with cancer  may not understand this blog. You see in the 5 1/2 yr battle I have learnt many good things. I have learnt many good things that I would not have learnt had I just gone to hospital and had it removed. I learned there is goodness to come out of a bad situation, that is if you want it to be found. I learned that many people want to reach out and help someone else. I learned that some people will not want to reach out because they are to busy doing what they want to do. Not what they should be doing maybe.

You see people I have never met before, have become my friend because of cancer. People in Australia, USA, in many parts of the world and in many places in the uk. I have even had the pleasure of meeting some people that have been touched by cancer. People have confided in me, told me stories of the most personal nature. Real strong bonds have been formed, bonds as strong as some I have had all my life. You see cancer helps us, it makes us think more, helps us to be non assuming, kind considerate and loving towards those that have to face this terrible desease. Now I am not saying that everyone should have cancer to understand. Indeed it does not have to be cancer, just to know what it’s like to suffer grately. 

  
Great physical pain. Gives Great understanding, not of suffering but what it means to have a life. It helps us to understand what this little life means. Because only when you are faced with losing your life can you understand what having a life truly means. All through my life before cancer I heard about someone who lost his life that we may have life. I for one am grateful that I had cancer so I could understand what Jesus did for me and you that little bit more.  Cancer has taught me to have faith and believe in people. Because while they may not be the people you expect to be there for you. To love you even. Cancer has been an inspiration to me, to my wife and so many others so far. Always look for the good, even if it’s a bad situation. You won’t know it’s there unless you look.

have a great post Christmas Eve day.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB
https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. 

2015 what a year!

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  Hi all so here is my year, what 2015 had in store for me. I suppose I had better put a link up first to the song I continue to play to this day. Knowing my friends and family are there for me and were there when I needed them most.

I had planned to reach out to people with cancer at the end of 2014 and planned to be effective in people’s lives using the medium of social networks like face book and Twitter. I planned to encourage people that cancer could be beaten as I was heading into my 3 rd year cancer free. I was tentertive in doing this because I never felt cancer had left me, but I had to start believing!! It was nearly 3 years that my doctor had told me I had been in remission for. Start being grateful I said to myself and start to bless others who are not so fortunate to get a remission diagnosis. That’s why cancer stories was set up to reach people, to communicate and hopefully encourage the people out there that needed other people and hopefully build a community of caring folk that would be there for each other. 

I so wanted 2015 to be a productive year, a year where people were blessed. For me though I had to wait to get the news of my biopsy. Christmas Eve I was having a lump I found taken out only a couple of weeks after finding it. In the first week of 2015 I found out I had cancer again, same place same desease. Hodgkins Lymphoma.

Although a shock, a real shock…. I was not surprised. I was to go on ICE chemotherapy almost straight away to prepare me for my transplant. Bone marrow transplant in hospital isolated. ( I know some of you know ). I decided early on that I was going to take it day by day and not look to far into the future. Of course I needed to know what needed to be done, but I decided to deal with things on a day to day basis… Wake up, do what needed to be done, then go to sleep and repeat. Of course it did not pan out like that, me being me I decided to carry on with the journey I had decided to go on before I realised I was to have cancer again. Cancer stories, although there are not many members (just over 200) we are all there to support each other. It soon became apparent that the group I had set up to help other people was going to be of huge benefit to me.

Many people helped me, encouraged me, cryed with me. Supported me, laughed with me, or at me. The chemo was horrendous, the procedures were unbearable. But no matter what there was always cancer stories, a place where people understood what cancer was about. An army of people that helped us both to believe when we felt we had no more in us, yo believe we CAN when it seemed impossible. We had a weeks holiday in Northumberland just before I had to go into isolation, it was a much needed rest from the seemingly constant trips to the hospital appointments, chemo, scans, and of course the 8 extractions of my teeth just to be accepted for the transplant. 

  
During my time in the room I made allot of friends, although my wife was with me ( I don’t know how she did it ) but she did. She was there everyday for me, sat by my side. Constant support and encouragement, my soul mate and best friend. Many of you at Cancer stories were there for me everyday. My dad messaged me everyday without fail, such was his commitment to me.

3rd June 2015 I left hospital and drove myself home, yep that right I drove home. Then started the blood tests every week to make sure my blood was recovering  and I was responding properly to being neutrapeenic. All seemed well and I have now gotten to the point where I am back on 3 monthly visits, not seeing anyone at hospital now till next year is a very different year to last year. But one thing 2015 has taught me, and that is never to assume anything. Tomorrow is not promised to anyone, it’s what you do today that matters.  Cancer stories turned into a group of people that to this day relentlessly by choice. Show love and support to those fighting. 

What was your 2015 like?

Have a good next year, thanks for your support Cancer stories

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB
https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. 

I give myself a hard time.

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I give myself a lot of hassle you know, put myself under pressure to achieve, to do when I feel I have no energy. Still I wake up late most days, still have sleepless nights nightmares and get frustrated at how little energy I have. Should I really though, should I not be happy to be here. When I remember what we faced this time last year, non of the attempts to find out if it was indeed cancer again had failed. Christmas Eve was about having the lump in my neck removed to find out what was ahead. For some an operation is just another step forwards, for me it’s  a huge stumbling block that I could not have overcome without my wife. If I am here today it’s because of my Andie, the role I played was to do what I needed to do.

  
Just over 6 months ago it was when I walked out of that hospital, having had my bone marrow transplant. Weird thinking that this will be the first Christmas in this house cancer free. Maybe just now writing this , and reading what I am writing is making me feel like it’s real. Maybe only now am I starting to believe, that it’s true that a cancer free Christmas is possible. That we are going to have the cancer free Christmas we dream of. A bone marrow transplant is a 3 week minimum operation, going into some dark places. Yet I still give myself grief, that I am not as strong as I feel I should be. Maybe my bar is set to high, set so high I won’t get there. Or maybe I have a need within me to encourage as many people on this planet as possible. That they can, where they think they can’t that they CAN. 

  
There are many people in my circle I admire, people I look up to, people that have stood by me and stood by Andie no matter what. I will continue to expect of myself and continue to do. Because the thought of not doing just feels so Empty, it’s not what we are made of. To demand more of yourself is not a bad thing, if you are able to look around you and appreciate the world you live in. To appreciate the life you have been given, enjoying the sounds and sites the world has to offer. Knowing it’s because you did that you enjoy today.

Enjoy your week running up to the day, we remember the birth of Jesus.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB
https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. 

Life’s normal until something changes.

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Cancer changes lives by there becoming a new normal. Some may even say that normal does no exsist after you have been touched by cancer. I don’t know about that, but what is a very real fact is that many people that have suffered cancer do not ever find what’s normal again. I do have an idea for a solution though. I do feel it’s appropriate to know where you are going, to have an end game goal. It does however seem to me that people are putting to much pressure on themselves to be the normal that they were. That it’s unacceptable to have a new normal, does normal exsist on a daily basis.i think people confuse normal with comfort or continuity, that life has no change in it. Is it not the change that we face that causes people to feel depressed. Is it not mearly how we interpret the change that we face and how we choose to deal with it. I know depression is not a choice, but positivity is. Speaking good, happy and nice things are a choice.

  
People don’t like change and that is a fact, we like things to be predictable. Unfortunately cancer is far from predictable, I think in allot (not all) it’s our attitude to what may be ahead that may mean that we are able to beat it or not. Depression is after all a state of mind, and only those that have depression may disagree because they are happy to predict that they will be depressed tomorrow. People that say they are depressed will be that way, that is unless the person suggests it may be the case and are not happy to be in this state. 
What I say to people is, you are what you want yo be. If you say it, it’s so. I have heard it argued that depression is a condition, I agree. But it’s a condition you choose to NOT have, someone today put it like this. I am in that black hole they call depression, the place where everything seems bad. 

Please don’t misunderstand me I know only to well what it feels like to feel helpless,mot not want treatment anymore. To not have the strength to carry on. I know how it feels to have no answers, to put into google the word “positivity” because I was in a place where I had non. So never think that I don’t know what it’s like to be at my lowest eb because I do. I really do.

When I wake everyday, I do my best to say positive things, to avoid at all costs the black hole. We say what we are, and we believe what we say. Why wouldn’t we after all we are the person we know best in the world, so if we say we are depressed we are right. Yes that’s right you are, because you said it. Oh rest assured you will be depressed if you have said it, say it again and you will be even more. You say you can’t do something your right. The only person stopping you doing anything is you, the only person giving you the ability to say yes is you. 

  
You are the solution to your happiness, yes of course if your happy to be in that condition you will disagree with this whole blog.mpositivity is an action, a decision. These are my opinions based on my own journey, I am not a doctor, but I am drawing on choices I make everyday. Start speaking life to yourself, start telling yourself your happy to be alive. I wonder how long it will be before you realise that day you do that, that you have had a better day.
Have a great day
Fonz
http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Our support group on our FB

https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536
It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.