Helping the helper.

Tags

helping, love, others, Peace, strength

Helping the Helper

Hi, my name is Rob and I’m a friend of Mark’s from cyberspace. We never met in person. Anyway, you all know Mark has made a promise to himself that if he is able he would write each day with hope of encouraging someone in doubt or pain. To inspire them to take that one more step in the one-step at a time journey. So here’s the irony. Mark is the one who needs some help now. So that’s what I’m doing, helping in that only way I can. I offered to “guest blog” so that his vision can continue and he can rest and do some healing without having to think so much about writing or not writing. This one’s for you Fonz!

There are things we have to experience in life that we don’t like. Things we rather not have anything to do with. And this happens on all levels; from mundane everyday things to large life changing experiences. The everyday stuff kind of goes unnoticed. We complain about it, move on and then forget about it. But the big ones….those we never forget. And there are 2 reasons we don’t forget them as far as I can see. The first is obvious. It was so horrendous and painful that it’s like a brand on our memory, a scar that may fade but never disappear. The other reason is very hard, neigh, impossible to see when you are buried under the weight of your trial by fire. You are blinded from seeing almost anything then the suffering you endure. But endure you must and so it goes on and on. Maybe days or week or years. The second reason we don’t forget is the gift we are granted at the end or diminishing of our suffering. You see, humans that endure such hardship are rewarded with some form of bliss or gratitude. I believe that the purer one’s heart the greater the gift. (I can’t tell you what a pure heart is, that’s for you to find out.)

So please dear reader, take moment right now and imagine yourself, your loved one, yes, and Mark, having relief. A gentle sigh from their lips, a release of tension from their shoulders and a smile on their face. This is what I call prayer or visualization or sending good vibes or wishing them all the best. 

Peace,

Rob

Passion.

Tags

dream, helping, hope, love, others, passion, people

You ever stopped to think about what you are passionate about, I am not going to start reeling off the things you could be passionate about. But what I do know, is that if your passionate about life, then you have faced losing your own life, or someone close to you. If it’s a thing something without a heart then, you have only ever known life. I envy you in some ways because you will feel invincible. I most certainly have a passion for cars, I love the sound and the smell of a roaring V8. My brother has just bought a car boasting a V12 engine, a very different sound to the V8’s  I have grown to love. That roar to me is life because I can understand what goes into making a beautiful car. But I also know what has gone into enabling me to be able to hear that sound today, which I guess completely contradicts my first statement. Pointless post?

Not entirely, because although I am still passionate about the smell and sound of engines and all things that are loud and competitive in that realm. I have become passionate about people and what they face, I have a certain empathy with people that are facing illness and battles through no fault of their own. I mean lets have it right, an accident, and illness, things caused by something we don’t control can change a life. That is where my passion has its main focus these days, supporting others that are not fortunate in the cards they have been dealt. 

  
We can all choose to care or walk on by. The people that walk on by are most certainly the majority, which of course is a shame. It’s down to us to infect people isn’t it? No it’s our job to affect people to want to give something to someone, to want to help someone to grow. To feel wanted, needed and important, I did not choose cancer. Cancer chose me, there are no ways to keep cancer away. If cancer wants you it WILL have you. The accident you were in that changed your life forever, that was always going to happen. You can’t blame yourself, it’s happened in your life. 

I am passionate about turning what has tried to ruin my life, into something that drives me in life. I use the very effects of cancer on my body to ignite a positives within me to help others and therefore don’t find many days where I am as dispondent as I could be. You may have noticed I have not written for a couple of days, I am still on track to write my 365 posts in 365 days because there has been days I have written more than one. I have been and still am ill with flu, but feel like I am on the mend now. 

  
What ever the thing is that’s happened in your life, to crush your life. Use that to ignite the passion within you to do something that you never would have done had you not been affected by the situation you are in. Holding your head in your hands, or lifting your head up. So that you are able to give others a lift up, is far more worthy.Ignite you passion for life that you know is there, it could be bacuse of your situation that someone finds encouragement in the story you tell.

Have a great week

Fonz

 Follow me, I will follow back. 😊
http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

The picture.

Tags

gift, giving, helping, kindness

Wow, isn’t it amazing how generous people are, what happens because you happen to. I was minding my own business the other day and I came across a picture a photographer had taken. It amazed me, not because of the subject or where it was taken but because of what you could not see. That made all the difference to me. Because my life is all about what not having a life could be like. I have dedicated myself to loving others each hour, and each day I have the pleasure to live. So I compliment and encourage folk along the way where I can. I could just see that this person was dedicated to each picture as I am to each person (if that makes sense)

May I introduce you to Tony Harrat,     https://thefujifreak.wordpress.com/    my friend who has been so amazingly kind in sending me this picture that he took in the Snodonia national park.

  
Little did I know that our paths in life, have been touched in similar ways. Not only that but we live in the same part of the world. Maybe we will meet one day, who knows. What I found amazing about this phot was that you can’t really see the trees branches unless you look at the reflection. Look where it has managed to grow aswell. 

This post is about human kindness, and the fact that Tony decided to give me permission to use this photograph, both personally and possibly to raise money at an event for cancer research. Moments like this are rare in life arnt they, Tony does not have a web site so I have encouraged him to set one up. Thank you Tony for your kindness, and bringing me some happiness.

Remember human kindness is such an amazing gift, I wonder if you will give something of yourself to a total stranger today and pay it forward. I hope so, it brings depth to your life, and a happiness only the giver will understand.

Have a great day

– Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

A walk with Faith. Or a walk by faith?

Tags

alive, beiving, broken, faith, health, helping, walking, wealthy

My whole journey has been a walk by faith really, a walk by faith being; my walk believing without seeing that God would provide the tools I needed to get through the Cancer journey. As I was sat there today, I realised that if I did not get a move on I would just have to do our normal walk that me and Faith do. ( faith is our dog ) I wanted to take her somewhere different today. Somewhere neither of us had been. So I had to neglect my blog today, I have been working hard reaching out to as many people as possible while I have been recovering. The pain in my legs is horrendous sometimes, so pain killers downed and off we went to parblold hill and walk by a stream. Here are some pictures I took whilst we walked.

  
As I walked through the woods, I slowly realised that I was on a journey that although completely different to my cancer journey I was actually realising the journey was quite similar. Are you ready for the similarities? So as I walked I saw deep water, and some that was running quite fast. I remembered how it felt trying to keep my head above water, treading water whilst doing my best get to the next stage.

 
Faith was with me

  
  And I could see in the distance a bridge across the water that was so hard to wade through, the water being the chemo and the bridge being my stem cells being transplanted which gave me hope that cancer would not come back. On the journey we saw trees that were broken and snapped beyond repair. That’s how it felt at times, just “Broken” just that.

  

This one really hit Home and even called the picture “Broken”  the thing that I got from this was, that once we are broken, we are never the same again. The thing that broke us did that, we become new that’s true. But what does new mean,mwell for some it may mean living life without a limb if your a soldier, living life without someone you loved. 

  
Even though that was a painful part of my journey I walked on, the pain was like shards of glass cutting my feet as I walked. Yet I smiled, I smiled because I knew that even though there was a broken point, perhaps many I was still able to see a new view. Why because I carried on.

  
It really was like my cancer journey was being played out on this walk. Like I was being shown what was and what is. That yes there have been struggles, pain even loss. But there is a new way ahead now and by faith I must believe that the path is already laid out for me. I am in a position where for I wanted to I could just down my I pad leave all this and go and sell a product for a friend and maybe even make a few quid. But that’s not what I went through cancer for, I went through it to, help others in their lives, maybe not help but encourage people to make a differance in the life that they have.

  
That’s why walking by faith the route will be revealed to me. I have come to a choice to either follow my heart or do what I have always done. Make a few quid, but that does not make a differance, what makes a differance is following by faith the path laid out before us. It may even have some rewards along the way. Who knows.

Enjoy your walk

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

“Blog on” he said. Calling all IT geeks? HELP!

Tags

blog, bloggers, course, courses, help, helping, technical

So after putting the feelers out to a few bloggers that I respect, Opinunated man, and Autum it seems what I write can’t be taught. It seems that bloggers that blog from exsperience and the heart can’t be taught how to blog. That got me thinking, “do I really want to change how I blog”? Well I don’t know, all I know is I want to encourage people facing illness in one way or another, and to do that I will change anything. 

  
Is my blog innefective? The answer to that is No. I know that because of the people that read them the messages they leave. I am encouraged daily  by people so I guess not. 

So here is the question, “How do I reach more people”? That’s it. Is there a recommended course out there, what free ways are there out there to give my blog more exposure.  Please help me guys, I am new and not a techy just a guy who has had cancer twice and reached cure. Wanting to reach more people everywhere. My blog is read in 74 countries average of 1600 people,a week although there has been double that nearly. Just reaching out for help.

My heart is open like a ripe peach, treat me well and I hope you share this with the people that can help.?

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

The blogging world.

Tags

eachother, encourage, everyone, give, help, helping, people, someone, time

It’s funny isn’t it, how something so small as writing can possibly change a life. All my thoughts I once had were mine, now I feel like they are yours aswell. When I started writing is was to send a message to so many that they could win and defeat cancer to. Now I feel like a man in the ocean , just the journey and me. Sometimes people comment and help me along. 

Michael33 

Jabrush

Lifebeyondmommy
Dawn Marie

Puppy doc

And pandyb

Teacup talk

Amanda Llyle

Dray0308

Fiona

Anonymous 

Someone

Blyning15

Oana roses

Thebikinibookworm

Fiona

Skinnyandsingle
And so many more

These people, are they people did Autum really read my blog.

Well here’s my decision, that no matter what people do. I WILL and I am going to encourage more people. These people I have mentioned are just a few that I interact with. But all I can hope is that somewhere out there everyday somewhere, there is a differance being made in people’s lives. One thing is for sure, I would not know these people without cancer. So that’s gotta be a good thing to come out of cancer? Right?

It’s about helping each other, sharing blogs that mean something to me. I only share them if I think my audience will benifit. I am trying to encourage people where they are at and hope people get something good from Me everyday.

Enjoy your day everyone

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Attitude changes everything.

Tags

cancer, faith, gift, happiness, helping, hope, How, humility, knowledge, love, reality, relief, support, survive

Its your attitude they say. Well as a twenty something I did not understand what that meant, I even found the statement inconsiderate in some cases. I mean you can’t tell a cancer patient to change their attitude, can you? Well actually it’s very important, especially someone fighting cancer. Let me explain from my own exsperience. What your attitude is to something, does that not depict how someone responds to you?  I think if someone has a bad attitude to something, people around you tend to respond negatively. Have a happy heart and people will look on the bright side. What do you think?

  
No one likes to be around people that constantly moan, or talk about their problems all the time, people that seem to have the weight of the world of their shoulders. Don’t they choose to have that, don’t they choose to have that amount of luggage with them? I was that person the first time round, I was the person that did not understand cancer. But that’s just it, maybe I had it twice so I knew what I did wrong the first time.  My first cancer exsperience was very different to the second, I learnt how it affects you in rehabilitation also. My attitude was to not be around people that people were going to bring me down. That communicating with people about cancer, was going to make my journey harder. I think that was quite selfish of me, although some would say that it was self preservation. 

  
You see where U.S. Humans get it wrong, is we look to preserve ourselves by giving nothing, only  looking after number one. By making sure that we don’t give of ourselves thus preserving ourselves for the future. Where as I have learnt a new way, a way that is a little risky but it’s worked for me. But I found it out by accident, because I had set up my support group Cancer stories before I realised I had cancer again. So I had already decided I was going to give of myself to others and support them in the fights they had before them. Thinking myself that I would rebuild myself at home, because the person I love gives me strength as I do her. How wrong was I, the support group does something very different. (We all support each other) in supporting another, it relights the fire inside of us to continue. Well it’s what’s happening to me now. 

  
You see it’s human nature to put out our hand to help someone, it’s also a benefit by doing that one thing  is that by putting our hand out it energises us. You see that what we as humans don’t get, you don’t use your resources of strength by helping another. You actually strengthen yourself because that is how we are made, it’s natural and human nature to help someone else. By doing that you actually strengthen yourself, you do NOT give of yourself. You become a better more rounded person, I learnt lots as a salesman but never the giving lesson. Why? It’s what sales people do, find people that need what we have. Wow how things are actually starring us right in the face, but it’s our stubbornness and lack of humility that stops us from learning the simple lessons that are necessary for success.

  
By giving to someone else you are actually helping yourself, helping yourself to work through your own luggage, to educate yourself as to what you can be. Who you actually are, I am sure some of you are reading these blogs and watching me grow. I know I am myself, I can feel that I am more considerate of others. Of course people will misunderstand me but that’s not my issue is it, to just keep doing what I am is making a differance somewhere. We all have it in us, we just choose to protect one. The one we are, not to help others by holding out our hands. Maybe becoming less of us and more a helping hand. What ever is thought your attitude to cancer is what matters. Ultimately what we give is who we are, putting out your hand is everything.
It’s not only + and – that make one battery, it’s you and me that make humanity. ( last sentence by Rob Fischbeck  ) 

 

Mark
http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. It took me an hour to write, but will take you a second to share.

Help yourself.

Tags

cancer, Cancerstories, future, giving, help, helping, hope, kimd, love, reflection, yourself

What’s the point in knowing the answers and doing nothing about it. It’s a shame you know, how some folk always have someone else to blame. It’s never the fault of the person, it’s always the system at fault or such and such a bodies fault. Well how about, it’s our life and the buck stops with us. If we don’t help ourselves how will we be the best we can be. The NHS is filled with people that don’t help themselves, people that are not thinking about anything else apart from what they want. The booze, fags, kebabs, fatty foods. I am horrified to say I was one of those people, one of the people that went out on a Thursday, a Friday,Saturday, and Sunday night. Yup that was unfortunately my life, maybe I craved it because I was sheltered from it as a child growing up. Maybe I thought it was cool, but what ever way you cut it I did not help myself.

  
 Helping yourself starts with liking, then loving who you are. Looking in the mirror and respecting yourself enough to want to become a better person. To love yourself enough that you can help someone else. I know what it’s like to be on both sides of the fence, But I do now know that to love yourself is like the most precious gift you can give to yourself. There is no way of doing stuff to benefit your future If your in self destruct mode. The other thing is people don’t see you as a friend, they see you as a burden. The only way to improve life is by starting with you, but believing in you and treating yourself well. Stop giving yourself a hard time, start giving yourself you time. Time where you can find the real you, the you that’s beneficial to others.

  
I actually went out looking for me, I travelled from one side of Oz to the other giving myself time to think, cogitate and reflect on who I really wanted to be. Finding the true inner me with no distractions, just me and the road so to speak. I found who I didn’t want to be and who I wanted to be. I found I had qualities that I never knew were there. When I was in a good place, a place where I not only believed in myself, but loved myself to. That would be the time to meet the girl that is now my wife, it’s great to be a part of a team where we can always find something positive to say and do. But all we now do is to be a better us, not a richer or wealthier us. A better us, when you decide to be better it’s like a miriacle happens. You see the world in a different light, because you don’t think selfishly. You start to think of situations in others shoes. You start putting yourself in their situation so you can understand better where they are at.

  
All of the above and much more helps us to keep our mental health good, hey I am not saying we have it right, but I am saying that we have it better . It’s about waking up and being a better person today than yesterday, it’s about not looking at the circumstances. But concentrating on the part of you, that you want to improve. The circumstances will always be there, the excuses will always be there. Your choice is what will you choose to get in your way, or what will you choose to overcome. It’s all about mind set and the choices you make. Be kind to yourself.

  
Have a great week.

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.