The 47 yr old naked me.

Tags

fat, happiness, happy, hope, illness, love, selfbelief, selfless

Every morning I get up, I am naked as the day I was born. I know I am a slightly different shape to the day I was actually born.  But never the less I am still faced with the same old problem. How to make this rather over weight, middle aged man look good. Well actually those were my dating days. It was always a real pain breathing in on those dates I used to go on, of course some dates I went on I rather felt disappointed I had made the effort and did not bother to hold my waist in at all on those dates. Trouble with that though was that, buttons on my jeans burst and belts snapped. Recently I have become more comfortable getting up and not being able to see where my bits were, finding a mirror rather more useful than I had before this time in my life.

  
I must admit I have been rather struggling with the fact that I am no longer a 32 ” waist and have finally realised that just because the bee gees are playing on the 80’s music channel it does not mean that 32″ jeans fit comfortably like they did back then.  I have until 2 days ago imagined myself as that well toned strong fit athletic figure of a man. Trouble with that was though that it was a memory and not a reality. I kinda sneaked past 34″ waist without anyone noticing. Now I do apologise if you have at any point imagined me naked at any point here. Please ask God for forgiveness unless you are my mum. But even if you are my mum. Trust me mum I don’t look anything like you may think I do. 

I used to be frightened of the Family belly and as time went on and hit 40 I had to rest a lot and my 34″ waist became a 36″ now I am saying this. But until two days ago I just thought it was my reflection getting fat and not actually me. I don’t know if this rings a bell. Anyway I woke up last Thursday and tried on ALL my jeans and non fitted yup and they all were 36″ so I had to face facts. I looked in the mirror at me and my fella. I felt sorry for myself as I uttered the words. Me and you are a 38″ pal we just are we just gotta go and get some that actually fit my fat size and be happy about it.

Now I went in the shop, embarrassed as I uttered the sentence to the passing shop assistant ” Hi I can see 38″ long leg but no regular ” she sniggered and went off to find some. But this is the truth, I bought 3 pairs of £10 jeans that were next to the £36 jeans. Why because I will I hope one day, want to get back into a 36″ waist ( I don’t want to aim to high ) as she walked away I realised that I would never go to a party again and be thought of as attractive, but maybe be asked if I was a grandparent yet. 

Now I realise I am a 38″ and feel happy that they need hitching up, it makes that 32″ man I imagine seem more real now. This post I wrote because I am now happy with the fat me and hoped you would have some fun reading it.

Have a great day

Being happy with who you are today.

Fonz

No you can, really you can.

Tags

cancer, chemotheropy, encouragement, faith, hans, illness, inception, kindness, love, time, zimmer

Please listen to the music whilst you read this blog.

Today has been an emotional roller coaster. I blogged again for the first time in 9 days, having been discouraged from writing and maybe even attacked from within myself somehow. I felt over whelmed by pain, felt friendships were not what they should be. I felt emotional pain for all those that suffered, I mean an actual pain. I searched and searched for some kind of comfort. But I did not find it, not even did I find peace. But then yesterday I blogged again, and I felt some kind of peace, knowing that I had done something useful. The pains started to subside, and I started to feel more positive. All because I had a light shone in my face. ” I may not see the answer but it is there. Then tonight I heard this piece of music.

  
The piece by Hans Zimmer immidieatley made me feel like my spirit was alive. That the only reason I was finding it tough was, because I was doing the right things. That if I stopped writing what I am given to write that people’s lives would not have a source of encouragement. People would lose out some how. Not only that, I myself would lose out.
I have pain inside when I hear someone has cancer. When I hear of someone suffering, someone said to me it’s anxiety. I don’t think so, for me it’s passion, given to me by cancer itself. Well I am not going to say I can’t, I am going to stand and say I can. I am going to keep moving forwards no matter what anyone says. I will keep on keeping on. That’s what this piece of music said to me as soon as I heard it. I teared up, it said. Mark you can, and you must carry on. Some my laugh at my thoughts. But this is not about the doubters, this is about life. This is about people who are affected by illness that feel they are not able to carry on. This post is FOR YOU. You have to hear me, you can go on. To do that you must stand, you must say you can. You must start to believe in the impossible. Believe that, maybe just maybe you had cancer for a reason. 

Illness of any kind makes us appreciate what we do have, but some find it an oppression and are dispondent at what they could have had. What you have is something that will open your eyes to all that’s around you. IF YOU let it, you are able to feel love for another soul. The live I have for another has become so deep, I don’t even know how deep it is myself. What I do know though, is if you are doing something worthwhile, positive, or encouraging. You will find stumbling blocks put in your path. Because you are doing something worth while. The question is how will you respond?

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

Encouraging bloggers.

Tags

bloggers, blogging, cancer, chemotheropy, cured, encouraging, faith, hope, illness, love, radio, terminal

This weeks bloggers I love.
http://Wordpress.hugsnblessings.com 
Dawn Marie is a Godly lady and is someone who always has something positive to say. She is not a person you will find drawn into negative conflicts about anyone, she sees everyone as souls. As a consequence she has nothing but kindness to give to all people. I totally respect her and am happy to call her my friend. 
http://heidihjort.com 
recommended 
http://alphawhiskeyfoxtrot.com/
Saying its one of the kindest blogs she had ever seen. So of course I had to add it.
I will always add blogs people recommend because if you like what they do then so will others.
http://dreambigdreamofter.wordpress.com
Danny shares people’s links everyday, he is a caring man himself and while he suffers himself daily, he has always got Time for others. People like this are rare in life and although I have our Danny forwards before he has shown support that I have seen this week to..

These people I want to recommend as this weeks bloggers that encourage others that are not out for themselves. The world needs more people like this, please contact me if you think there is someone that should go in next week. 
Fonz

Follow me, I will follow back. 😊
http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

A violent Storm.

Tags

cancer, challenge, illness, life, love, mankind, MS, persevere, rain, storm, sunshine

As my friend Rob reminded me today, not personally. Just by being himself. I was reminded from my inner self,that the  storms that have raged throughout my life, have happened for a reason. No matter what happens to me, or to anyone else for that matter. ‘Life will go on’  storms will rage in your life. It is impossible for us to learn without there being a storm, impossible for good things to happen unless we endure a storm.

  
A storm in reality is the planets way of clearing the air, yet with all storms that come. Brings with the storm life. Water, that helps growth and wind that removes dead leaves. The leaves that impair the trees very life system. It’s the same in our lives, when facing illness, or coping with caring for another with a life threatening disease. It may not be life threatening either, just a long hard slog of treatments and arduous hospital visits yo become well again. 

What my friend reminded me was that after every storm, there is peace and sunshine. The life giving sun that seems to be the corner stone of all life without exception. Even us humans need to sun for vitamin d in our bodies. The world although Finely balanced is the giver of life. During a storm it’s hard going to move forwards, keep warm, dry , hydrated and fed. Yet there will always be sunshine. Never will you not see sunshine in your life, and if the sunshine has gone from the brokenness that the storm left behind. There are always memories of when the sun once shone brightly in our lives, we humans are the very product of sunshine that shone after the storm.

  
You will not know how long a storm will rage, but in some warped way I find happiness that there is a storm because I know full well that there WILL be sunshine, even in death there is sunshine because in death there are no more storms to endure. So my dear friends, smile in your storm safe in the knowledge there will be sunshine. Hold your head in your hands and sigh if you like, but do that you may just miss the sunshine you could have found. Start living your life expecting the sunshine as apposed to seeing life as a storm to endure.

It’s perspective alone will brighten your outlook,

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

Staying alive.

Tags

battle, beegees, cancer, illness, stayingalive, surviving, war

When I hear those two words together I always think of the bee gees.mgotta find that on you tube in a bit. Many people are reading my blog these days that did not have cancer, they had a battle but not cancer. They are also being encouraged by hearing about my journey. I love that, I love that people affected by illness are being encouraged. Maybe I slipped up there and should have called my blog  fonzandillness.

It seems like so many people around the world are fighting something, if not ALL of mankind. I think we are all going through something in our lives. I am thankful to still have today, today. Off to put a shed up with a mate in a bit, how cool that I am even able to do that. It’s ace….

  www.popsugar.com 
Staying alive is not a battle it’s lots of them all strung together that make up a war. The trick is to get each battle sorted minute by minute. Eventually the day will be done, but don’t let that day be over without looking around at what beauty surrounds us. We live on an amazing planet, and you are just a timy speck on that planet. We are all important in our own way, but what’s amazing is. You could be holding the words someone needs to stay alive today. You could be the tonic they need today, you have so much to give. What use is it in your head, it’s only helping you. How many others could you help by spending a few moments to share your thoughts with us all. The human race is an amazing web of awesomeness, make sure your a good part of that, what ever your fighting, your exsperiences are there to help others live a better life.

Have a great weekend

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Diagnosis.

Tags

cancer, chemotheropy, diagnosis, faith, happiness, healing, illness, life, optimist, pessimist, terminal

I read a snippet from a blogger yesterday  Danny , his diagnosis was the start of a new journey. It got me thinking about my journey. My new WordPress friend does not have cancer, his diagnosis was something else. He has an amazing attitude, an attitude that life is a journey and so what if he had other plans on the old journey before his diagnosis. It’s the start of a brand new journey. I hear people say to me a lot it’s ok for you though your not terminal. My response is always the same “we are all terminal, it’s just you have a clearer idea of when that will be” 

  
See there are  only two ways to look at your future. You can either be an optimist or a pessimist. An optimist can see good in all situations, but a pessimist expects things to go wrong and expects there to be issues that will hinder their progress. Maybe a pessimist is more of a realist, what do you think. 

Back to the point, anyone that’s had a doctor sit in front of them knows how it feels to have a diagnosis given. I was not One of the lucky ones. Mine was “you have Cancer” very chilling words and they do take some time to get your head round. All sorts of other things went with that, the asking of questions, “what will happen if I don’t have treatment”? “what’s  Chemothearopy“? lots of things I asked like that. 

It’s only looking back that you realise that it was the start of a journey, one with lots of trials but at the same time, one I am glad I went on. Without cancer I would not be writing this blog, I would not have the friends I have. Cancer has given me so much. You see you can gain so much because of your diagnosis, you just have to keep your head up and keep Doing. Life is only a slog if we make it one, yesterday I put a note up.mit was a cactus picture. With the caption “just because your given a cactus it does not mean you have to sit on it” our attitude to desease is the key to a better journey with it. Hang our heads, and walk around like the world owes us a living ,then generally people will not want to help. Put your hand out to help someone up, and help will come to you. That’s the way the world works, a secret of a happy life. I love to discover secrets of life, little gems are always hidden. Only those that look for diamonds find them.

Have a great day.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.