Everyday life

Tags

Christmas, destiny, encouragement, friends, Laughter, myloma, together

Everyday life

Inspired by Cold play

https://youtu.be/UMkCkPzbLYI

One particular line (you gotta keep dancing when the lights go out)

Have you ever felt like it only ever happens to you?

You ever felt like it’s only you that gets dealt the bad hands and others get an easy ride. I know I have but at Christmas time we start to think about others don’t we. The ones fighting, the ones that are cold. The ones facing treatment, watching their life long partner breath their last breath. The lonely the blessed. The survivors the people that just won’t be beaten and carry on regardless! Some of the most wonderful people I have met in my life have absolutely nothing! Yet they have everything. To look in a persons eyes that has nothing to hide is a wonderful thing.

Somehow this line that’s inspired me. this blog post has taken me right back to when the lights went out for me, but had to keep fighting. I chose to carry on dancing in the dark. But more than that I am 4 yrs and 7 months post Bone marrow Transplant. I live with pain everyday and was fat when I left hospital! I hated the way I looked. I never understood how people could gain so much weight until it happened to me. Slowly but surly I have built n built making small adjustments to my life and because of that line. Because I heard that line. I realised that I have been dancing since the lights went out for a very long time.

But so much more than this, it’s made me realise that everyone has their own journeys. Their own daily struggles. Don’t ever look at someone and think they are not dancing in the rain. We all have different roads, different times yes. But you can never underestimate what a person has been through to get to where they are today. When I see old people I often wonder what went on in their life. How long they were married and it always fills me with delight to see older folk holding hands!

You know what cancer has taught me that everyone is on a journey.

It’s about doing something what ever that may be. Everyone hurts and everyone cries. Everyone falls. Everyone has hopes and dreams. But while some are doing their best some are unable. Your not alone!

We all go through things in our lives and everyone has battles. Maybe unseen, you may never even know someone faces anything.

It’s Christmas time where we celebrate that Jesus was born on earth and lived as an example for us to learn and follow.

It’s a time to remember someone, to make someone feel good. Behind every successful person is a bumpy road behind them. Yours is no harder than anyone else’s. Because as always it’s not what we face it’s how we deal with it. Please God forgive me, I have not been the best role model.

But then we come to the point that no darkness exists where there is light. Cold play may have just shone a light in my life by creating this song.

But like my friend Rob would say. Where there are ripples there are reactions.

So I want to challenge you to send this message to someone in your phone book. Send it to two people and ask them to do the same. Shall we spread some love this Christmas and make some people know that they are not alone! That they have a friend. That they are important. That they matter. That they are not the only ones!

Will you help me do that?

This is the message.

You are getting this message, because your important and appreciated. Because your treasured by God himself. Never give up! You have friends. What kind of world do you want it to be?Please forward to 2 people.

Can you imagine if someone chose to carry on dancing when the light go out because of you.

Let’s bless some people. If it’s a silly idea then fair play but it’s something we can all do today. To bless someone with positivity.

What are you going to do? What kind of world do you want it to be?

“Ya gotta keep dancing when the lights go out”

But carry on keep moving, keep being good. Choose to be a blessing.

Fonz

Don’t forget your message 👍🏼

Pss Merry Christmas

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

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Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share

with others, if it meant something to you, it will to some

one else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post!

Will you?

Copyright ©2019

Good is everywhere.

Tags

believe, care, faith, health, help, hope, Laughter, rich, wealth

GOOD IS EVERYWHERE

So it’s true, that there is good in everything if we look for it. My wife reads to me most nights now as my friend has given me a book to read called “illusions” Although I write believe it or not I am not a great reader, I don’t even read my Blog posts back a lot of the time. I also find that in my dreams sometimes I am spoken to, not by my wife but by someone far bigger than me. Sometimes my dreams are complicated, and others so very very clear. But this came from the book she reads to me.

So picture this, a river not the fastest river you ever saw, but all the same one that never runs dry. A river teaming with life, imagine then that there are some creatures in the river holding on for dear life, they do it everyday. Everyday they have to hold on so they are not swept away by the current. They don’t know why they hold on, but they chat to each other one day and discuss why they are holding on so tightly. One says to the other, we  will be hurt if we let go and will be battered and bruised by the rocks. The other one says “yes but I am bored holding on, I want to let go and trust where the rivers current will take me” 

The ones holding on, do not trust that they will not get hurt. For if they let go they will indeed get hit by the stones and rocks. They have no faith in what they don’t see, they only trust in what they can see. Yet the one who wants to let Ho and trust the stream believes by faith that where the stream is going and must know something he/she does not. Or surly the river would not keep flowing. 

The time came that they let go, and sure enough the stream sent it smashing into the rocks below, hurt battered and bruised by the Flow of the water. It was not the water that hurt, it was what was in the river. The stream continued to flow and carried him up to the surface where there was sunlight and a new way of living. He had never seen the sunlight before, but because he had let go and had faith in what he could not see. He/She was able to see how beautiful they were, the colour of how he was made and learned that he had wings and was able to fly. He was given a gift because he used faith in what was unseen to become the beautiful person he became.

Life has been like this for us all I suspect at certain times, but not knowing what will be is the same for us all. Having faith in what will be is the same for us all to, only we can let go of what is so we can know what could be. Only we can allow what our true destiny is, to be discovered by having a few hits but still moving forwards. I just wonder if you will hold on tight to what you know, or if you will allow yourself to trust what is going to be by letting go.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

Copyright © 2016

A death sentence.

Tags

blog, books, c, cancer, chemotheropy, health, hope, Laughter, love, me, post, radiotheropy

Is that that what cancer is? A death sentence we didn’t choose? A journey we didn’t choose. A part of our life we never even thought would be part of our lives. Before you read this blog I want you to know, that people that face cancer in what ever form be it as a patient, partner,  family, carer, or friend. I want you to know these people are amongst the most courageous in the world. All cancers are different and how ever we decide to deal with it rest assured the journey is one through Hell. 

Today I found myself in the presence of someone amazing, someone who has fought the fight like I have and are. He is an inspiration and a seriously generous person with his time. Today I left hospital one year ago, the same hospital the man I speak of left 2 years ago after his bone marrow transplant. Yet we find ourselves together errecting a conservatory. Part of that day involved standing on a trellis on tip toes for a while with my arms in the air holding the cross beam in place. It was 10 mins before my next pain killers. What you don’t know is walking is tough, never mind standings or a period of time. The pain as I stood began yo surpass the pain that was normal and bearable, and I found myself feeling so very sore and horrific pain in my legs.

There I was with my friend who I knew was one of the few people on the earth that understood my pain, one of the few people that understood what I felt inside. Understood the actual pain I felt. Here tonight remembering what’s happened today and what we have achieved. I don’t feel sorry I cried, I feel amazed I have a brother who knows and understands what I face and what I have been through and what appreciation I have for life. Holding that bar up feeling the pain I felt made me cry, it made me feel useless whilst being useful. We did something today that was hard to do. Maybe some would see as impossible. For me and my friend we believe in the impossible made possible.

Sometimes the only thing standing in the way is ourselves, and maybe we just need to fight through the pain and get to the otherside. The side where there are people that have life because they fought, people that have overcome grief in loving the very people that do have life and are living today. 

Maybe you feel today is impossible, well let me tell you that it’s amazing what you can achieve if you keep on keeping on. Did you know impossible means the opposite to what you think. See  you are possible, it’s just the I’m in the way of possible isn’t it. Try and find something you enjoy in this life, it’s there if you look for it. I know one thing . 

I have gained many friends through cancer. Keep on keeping on your one of lives courageous people and you CAN.

Fonz

Marriage.

Tags

arguments, compleate, enjoyment, helpful, Laughter, marriage, siri, together

What does marriage mean to you. A commitment to another, a life of compromise because there is another person always to think of. Is it a mill stone around your neck, something you are scared of. Maybe you think that marriage means something else to you. Well here is my take on being married put how only I can. I would like to make it simple, for you yourself to even remove all of what you perceive marriage to be at this point and imagine life as a block.
So there is life right in front of you, with or without a person with you, married to you. Life still is there, it’s in its form that you imagine in your mind. I see is as a block, that weighs a certain weight. We all have them it’s just when we are single that block has to be carried oround by ourselves. No one next to us to lighten the load, no one to help to make the load lighter, and easier to handle. 

  
Marriage for me means a lot of things, the main one being that two people are moving in the same direction helping the other person in the life that they live. They don’t place demands and expectations on what they think should be marriage. They make the journey easier, the person that walks along side you has hold of the same block that you have and push or pull in the same direction. The person that wants the marriage to go in a direction that is opposite to the intended direction of the marriage. That person adds weight, creates problems and makes life harder for the other person to live. People that do that in a marriage, are selfish. They styfal the possibilities of what can be achieved together. See that’s just it isn’t it, if it’s a friendship, which of course is what a marriage is first off. Then that friendship should make your life better, more fun, more bearable, fill the air with laughter, shared dreams and of course love for each other. 

  
See I have always said that, the perfect marriage is two people that always put each other first, think about the other before themselves. Many things have come true since me and Andie have been married, many ambitions that we both have worked towards have come to fruition. Like my wife’s career for one, where we live, beating cancer twice together. Many things have been undertaken, not only undertaken but successfully achieved TOGETHER. Many people do not achieve, because they have a partner that is so demanding. So the partner has to work harder to meet the demands, of their partner as opposed to working together to achieve each and every goal together. A marriage makes dreams come true, a marriage brings freedom of life. Makes life more pleasurable, bearable maybe but most definetley easier. If a person is holding you back, it’s due to either an illness or something that the other person wants to benefit from. For me the block ‘life’ will always be there. The wife I have by my side makes that block lighter and easier for me to bear, I know that my involvement in Andies life makes her life easier to. Many ambitions my wife has had we have achieved together, not counting the cost but enjoying the smile of happiness on each other’s faces. Is not seeing a look of joy so much better than despair, of course it does not happen over night. It takes time and effort and conversations discovering what the other persons desires in life are. 

  
One thing is for certain, that is I am much happier married than I ever was single. I thank God for my wife, and OUR life that we have together. It’s not one persons life anymore, it’s two lives joining together as one. Continuing together in the same direction. 

Have a great week 

Mark and Andie

Follow me, I will follow back. 😊
http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

Kill me if you dare.

Tags

belief, cancer, Cancer stories, exsperience, hope, Laughter, love, loved, survived, survivor

That’s my attitude to cancer, myself as a person am way to stubborn to allow a disease to take away my freedom. To control my life, to dictate to me for long periods. My brother once said to me, “we allow visits from cancer, but never to stay.” My first blog was just these words. “I am Mark, a cancer fighter. I WILL WIN” I was determined unwaivered from my end goal to beat cancer. I know doctors dish out statements  like how long you have to live, the amount of chemo that’s required. All sorts of pharmaceutical prescriptions, and although some work we are as humans finding out ways to combat cancer using natural solutions. I say over and over again, we are what we eat and we should all be very cautious about what we put inside our bodies.

  
Of course you can’t really educate yourself with a passion until you have been touched by cancer, we learn to look after ourselves by how hard we have had to fight. Please understand I am not a doctor I just speak of what I have learnt on my journey. I am in no way telling you how to be, just what’s working for myself. I have many friends with completely different ideas, I find it interesting hearing people’s opinions and outcomes of thier own trials. As a friend of mine said the other day, it’s about putting quality food into our bodies grown to the highest standard, produced naturally not enhanced by chemicals. I think he is right, but that’s my own opinion. Oh how I love opinions, they can’t be wrong can they, because no ones opinion can be challenged just disagreed with. But exsperience can’t even be disagreed with, because it is just that. Thier exsperience. It can’t be challenged, it is after all something that’s happened to the person. As a consequence of that exsperience an opinion is formed.

  
I found a new love in writing, a new journey that will take me where ever I want it to take me. It’s certainly a trip, and one I absolutely love. Maybe one day I may have an opportunity to make something from it. Of course if you have read them all you will know that my mind has been changed, because of the journey I have found myself in. New ways of thinking, new thought patterns, new friends, losing who thought were my very best friends, but finding out who are true and honest, dependable and upright. Even losing friendships has strengthened me and helped me to realise what and who is and are important to us both. 

  
I don’t get it right all the time, I am human but one thing is for sure, life is so satisfying these days. I have a friend who I have never met, well a few. The person I think of is a lady, her name is Sue. Everyday I write she encourages me, it’s admirable and energising for me. She helps me to blog everyday just by reading and commenting on what is written here. I do struggle sometimes just to get stuff down especially over the past 2 weeks whilst I have been unwell. But I am sure of this one fact. That we are all here to benefit each other, and it’s up to us to choose to do that in whatever capacity that may be. Stand strong, never give up, not ever, dare to keep moving forwards never ever losing site of your goal. YOU WILL WIN.

Have a great week.

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. It took me an hour to write, but will take you a second to share.

Frozen.

Tags

belief, cancer, Cancerstories, friendship, frozen, Laughter, life, live, love

When your fighting any illness I guess you find your self in a dark place, sometimes it’s a place where you don’t feel there is a way out. For me, that’s what the room was like, the place where I had my transplant. It was a place where I felt there was no end. I had to believe it without seeing, to believe we would make it be having faith.

  
I am a person that feels trapped in confined spaces, it’s a clostrafobic feeling where I feel the need to escape if I can’t see a light at the end of the tunnel. Or so I thought, let’s take the lazy river exsperience. Life jacket on, floating down the river at a pace that you choose through tunnels and round bends but not always being able to see where the tunnel ends. I remember asking my wife if she could see the end, we were in the dark tunnel but I could not see the end. All I had to go on is what my wife could see which was more than I. She told me she could see the way out, it was so very natural for me to just trust her. After all why would she lie to me, it was an easy thing for me to do. To trust the person I had chosen to spend my life with, to believe she was right. Which of course she was.

  
It’s also like that with friends we choose, we learn to trust them to believe in them. To know that they are there for us as well as them. It’s the same with doctors, medication. Anyone that has your life in their hands, it’s just us that stands in the way of a loving relationship with a person. 

I have learnt to  be frozen, I have learnt that people who choose to love us deserve trust. That life is about giving our best to those that choose to give us their best. That we have a responsibility to “let it go” so that it does not affect someone else. That trusting someone is priceless, it’s up to them to let you down or lift you up. But in the letting go you give others the freedom to love you without boundaries. I have met some awesome people of late, who have shown me what good people are. But I also remember that awesome people give their very best to each other. Second best is not good enough, so “let it go” just let it go.

  
Be frozen

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.

Your perfect.

Tags

content, family, happiness, hope, Laughter, love, together

Many times when I have been walking down the street as a single man, wondering if I should stop and turn around and tap the girl with the amazing face and long flowing hair, and most amazing fragrance on the shoulder. My oh my, how glad I am that I didn’t, how glad I am that I am with the girl I am with today. 17th July 2004 was an amazing day. A day that changed our lives, a day where we both knew life would not be the same again. What an amazing gift love is, how very precious. We only ever get one chance “today” it’s amazing how 2 people can have faced so much, yet be unwaivered. When I hold my wife, I feel a completeness, a wholeness that’s sweet and pure. When I hear the words from her lips “I love you” a feeling I have that is repeated every time she says it. It’s a feeling of belonging, security, and home. Like I am home, happy and content all at the same time.

  
There is nothing more amazing than that word “family” it’s a place where only family will feel it. Only people that belong will experience that, only people that have a family will feel that love. Finding the person that sets on fire the spark within you, is amazing, it’s an incredible journey walking with that person by your side. Yes it’s true I am not perfect, but I am perfect for my Andie. She is perfect for me, because we just don’t look at the imperfections, but if accidentally I do look, I find myself loving those as well. Perfection does not always have to be what’s perfect in another’s eyes. It’s about what’s perfect for you.

  
Don’t settle for second best, don’t allow yourself to find your non perfect, be patient and make sure you have the right person. Make sure that person is your perfect, know they are your perfect. That they make your hair stand up, make you want to skip, make you want to dance like no ones watching. Since beating cancer these things have won my heart more than silver or gold. More than a fast car, a nice house, family is what matters. Family is at the heart of ALL that matters. The family you have matters, even if that’s him and her. 
What’s your perfect?
Mark
http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.