Holding onto life, what it’s like.

Tags

attitude, Christian, dealing with cancer, faith, help, hope, life, love, memories, mental health, struggle, survived, transplant, weakness

Sometimes ya gotta put it out there to encourage folk. So here ya go for an encouraging post.

Just gonna be honest!

I don’t know how I am still alive, I have battled with my mental health for some years. I had thought of suicide many many times. Thoughts of failure, and that even breath is wasted on me. Not many people have been there for me in this state, but there have been a few. Thank you to you. You don’t know how close to the edge I have been living. Thank God for my wife dogs parents and a few really good friends.

The pain caused by chemo was the worst! 7 years I lived with it before I was able to muster up enough faith to believe I would be healed. Try as I might I am unable to remember what that pain felt like. Yet, it was the worst pain I had even known in the whole of my life! Pains debilitating and takes your focus away from what truly matters. I have been fat and felt so so low at times I spent hours in tears! Seriously you have no idea what life has been like.

Even therapy didn’t help me, most certainly when a school friend who knew me well committed suicide I felt life could not be lived in my body anymore either and even gave me the strength to feel it was my way out also. I had talked that same man down off a bridge 20 yrs earlier and I kinda felt comfort that he had lived those years because I was there for him in the middle of the night. R.I.P. Si!

Other people have passed recently including my uncle of (yes you guessed it) cancer! How can a man hold onto his faith when faced with so much. I did!

Running my cancer group has been so so hard encouraging people facing losing their life, and actually loosing people you helped in their cancer fight. That has been very difficult also. Then there have been the people that have made life harder by talking about me not working behind my back! Knowing where that came from made me loose faith, people stopped coming to see me, I guess because it’s so hard to always be positive for someone. Yet the positivity folk did show helped me carry on. I have held onto my dog faith so so many times while she licked the tears from my face!

You have to hold on to what ever it is that helps you through! For me it’s been my faith my wife, my parents, close friends and my dogs! It does not matter what helps you but hold onto it as tight as you can. That brings me to this blog and how much it’s helped me to write things down. That writing has almost been my own defiance to not give in just yet. Recently my focus has been on getting things done around the house, like the massive amount of wood I had ready for cutting up. I have just been in to much pain to bear it. That too was depressing.

Looking back now I have been in a horrendous period of depression. I trained myself in the mirror to not show how I felt. To smile even when things were against me. The hardest part in all of this has been holding my head up and maintaining my decency, my hope, and my faith. Yet I believe in it all God has had his hand on my life! You see if you just have faith, it’s not enough. That’s like having a ship on the sea out of the harbour. How can you have faith if that faith you have is not anchored to hope. If you make hope your anchor to faith you will carry on.

This morning I got up at 4.50am because I so wanted to be out in the world and see the sun rise. I was disappointed this morning but Saturdays sunrise was awesome so I had seen it but ya can’t be greedy in life can you. My girls enjoyed the beach.

So my message to you today, yes you. Is to say. Hold on, keep on keeping on. Grip hard to what you know makes sense. Never let go of your hope even through your tears hold on to your hope, that is the anchor to your faith! That lion king moment comes to mind. “You are more than what you have become” you are only being told you can’t because you can. I was nearly a 42″ waist it’s taken an amazing amount of determination to get into my 36″ Levi’s. But I want you to know, if I can, you can.

God bless you all

Life’s worth living!

Mark

PS You won’t achieve anything if you don’t set foot on the journey. I could not tie my laces I was that fat. I can now.

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Instagram
@fonzymark
Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share
with others, if it meant something to you, it will to some
one else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post!
Will you?
Copyright ©2019

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I am healed!

Tags

attitude, destiny, encouragement, forgiveness, healed, jesus, life, survived

First let me start by saying that, you have been awesome. You have followed my journey, supported me and loved me through the very hardest times in my life. I am so grateful to you.

YOU ARE WHAT YOU SAY YOU ARE!

Having a bit of a shake up in my life, in a time of blessing not cursing! We (family) were promised many years ago when I was 24 that

“the lord will restore the years the locusts have eaten. “

FAITH!

Believe me it’s been harder than hard to hold onto my faith whilst my body has been reconstructed, by chemo and the most horrible treatments known to man. My best friends on this planet have never left me like the shallower folk that said they were there for us but never showed us any action. Yet surely it is only God that makes good on his promises. Only God will never let us down. I can now tell you I have felt like Job. Like I have been tested over and over again always looking for positivity all of the time. Which I can tell you is draining in itself when your not leading your life walking next to him that knows more than we do.

It’s time to turn our backs on that which holds us back, including being fat, Negativity, and anything born of hate or discord.

My dogs are called Faith and Lily Hope. These names are not an accidents, hey they are God instances. I have been held back by listening to things of the body. My pain has stopped me from looking into the distance. Pain is debilitating, distracting and destroys days making you feel desperate. Yet through all the negativity I have held onto my faith for dear life. Yes sometimes that’s meant my dog Faith instead of anything born of the spirit!

No one can turn around and tell me there is no God, that Jesus is just a man that (just) walked the earth! Jesus was born of God, lived as God and died. He then rose again that we as sinners would be born again and never experience what He’ll has to offer. Because we have been saved by his blood, he rose again that we may know a fullness of life. I can’t tell you how free I feel since my nerve pain left. It really was a “pick up your mat and walk” moment.

So celebrate with me, but I also have a question to ask.

“Do you think I should start another blog? Or continue with this one”?

Have a blessed day

Mark

The acceptance bridge.

Tags

achieve, desire, destiny, encouragement, future, games, hope, invictus, life, love, pressure, survived, transplant

Wow, the meeting I had today; maybe I will tell you about ‘the man in the mirror ‘ one day. But hey not to fast I need you to know about some other things first. Not least being a blog I must write called ‘Perspective’. Maybe a tool that’s used to get to the acceptance bridge. Imagine if you will, a bridge in front of you, the bridge leads to somewhere else. Yet your struggling to cross it, medication, pain, hurt and stubbornness are in the way along with, hospital visits, more medicine, distraction, feelings of failure, and thoughts of giving up. Wanting to be who we were bing the biggest and deepest crevasse between you and the bridge are there for a reason.

You see, people see the bridge as, a bridge to far. The last effort and what would remain of yourself when you get to the other side. Well that was me anyway, and I can’t see that I am much different to anyone else. The acceptance bridge has worry, uncertainty, despair and fear on the bridge all of which we need to face and move away from. Yet some of what’s on the bridge will be on the other side also. Crossing the bridge is a very pivotal point in our lives. People always want what we were and not what we will become. Yet what we become has many gifts. Perseverance, experience, hope, love, and faithfulness. There are many more gifts across the other side to. We will have been honed, moulder and made into a quite possibly better you. Your experiences will have taught you how to be strong. That tears are ok, that it’s ITS OK TO NOT BE OK that many things we were are ok to be in the past.

What we hope for, what we dream of. The things we experience in our lives help us to be able to Empathise with others where if we had not been where we were. Then how could we possibly be able to.

The acceptance bridge is special and no bridge is the same they are all unique. No one one can walk over your bridge. ONLY YOU! No one can take your place it’s your bridge made up of your life, your choices and things you have beaten conquered and helped people through. You are amazing that’s for sure, but I want you to believe with me that crossing the bridge means you will be empowered to do things in the future. Your experience is what will help you across.

The bridge means this, Accepting who you were and looking forwards to who you are and will become. Because once you accept, what was. That enduring that in your life has meant you are a new you and a better you because of what you were. What’s the point in regret anyway. Let’s look forwards to what lies ahead on the other side of the bridge. Embrace it and move forwards knowing you past is not a part of your future but it has helped you become who you are today.

Accept who you were and allow yourself to look back, but only to see how far you have come. You may not be as strong physically. But your stronger in other ways because of the choices others made and you so you have become the diamond you are. Walk across the acceptance bridge and embrace who you have become.

stop trying to be who you were, and accept who you are. God accepts you, so why won’t you. Life is Gods gift to you, what you do with it is your gift to God.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Instagram
@fonzymark
Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share
with others, if it meant something to you, it will to some
one else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post!
Will you?
Copyright ©2018

Be kind to yourself.

Tags

destiny, encouragement, energy, faith, friends, hope, life, Oscar Wilde, relentless, struggle, survived, trending, twitter

Do you ever do that? Worry about what someone thinks of you, then that changes the course of your day. Your month or even your year. Words are cheap, yet they can have a lasting effect on someone’s life. What you say to yourself can be unhealthy, even damaging to yourself. Maybe you value another’s opinion to highly, you stop doing what you want to do because your worried about what someone thinks of you.

“To love oneself ” whote Oscar Wilde “is the beginning of a life long romance!”

Well I am going to stop chastising myself, stop changing my direction because someone’s opinion is different to mine. My opinion matters. But more than that, being restricted by someone else’s standards. Because you don’t want them to see you. Putting on a face all the time, and not allowing myself the moments of ‘not being ok’ that sometimes your not happy and the constant pain does indeed sleigh the giant from time to time. That it’s ok to feel something, to feel something means an incredible thing. It means you have something that can’t be bought, you can’t see it, you can’t borrow it, or be given it. Yet something more powerful than you would believe.

PASSiON!

If you feel it you have a drive others don’t, yet passion comes from integrity and doing what you believe to be 100% honest and true. No non. You either have passion or you don’t. You can’t do anything to get it. It’s a gift.

So in short I owe it to myself and everyone who will read this. To be myself, and to be ok with not being ok. That people actually like the normal mark. The mark that has integrity. (Thanks Rob Fischbeck)

What ever it is you do, don’t cut your nose off to spite your face. Embrace what you may learn and move forwards being kind and gentle towards yourself. People will like the real you, I know I have tried it many times.

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram

@fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share

with others, if it meant something to you, it will to some

one

else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright ©2018

Depression.

Tags

cancer, Compassion, depression, encouragement, hope, life, live, love, together

Today’s not a day I want to repeat, the feelings of giving up and jumping off the planet are all consuming. No one can see in our heads and if there was a door I would say. Please don’t open it. My mental health it has to be said is not right, the list is long as to why. But I guess it’s normal for people, and I won’t be the first to feel like life’s not worth it. Thank God for my dogs that follow me absolutely everywhere. Accepted without judgement. There are things going on in my life and finding a lump in my body has just messed with my Melon. I am struggling really badly right now. The sun is shining, yet all I can see is darkness and negativity.

Normally my blog posts are to encourage others, but today I am weak. Feeling low in worth and feel like jumping. I am holding on but only just, is there anyone out there with experience. That they have been where I am maybe.

I guess it’s all normal, but I don’t like it and I don’t like life either. I feel like I am on a raft in the middle of the sea and all I can see is a storm. Pain is a constant and while I have made in roads to be a good influence on others right now I could happily just leave the planet with no regrets.

I feel worthless right now, almost like I am in the way of others. I have become depressed with the constant stabbing pain. I can’t escape it’s there always. When I go to sleep, in my dreams and when I wake. It’s like I have been buried in pain and it grinds away your happiness.

Why would someone who has fought so hard to live end up with a want to die? Only driving in my TVR does the pain disappear. You can’t do that all the time.

Maybe I have written how I feel just for me,

but it’s here for the world to see.

How long will it be for me,

To live a life with warmth and know no pain.

It’s my 50th yr and it does not even feel like it’s something to celebrate. How strange after such a long fight. Then the thoughts of what I have found, what is it. Please not again, surly not again.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram

@fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share

with others, if it meant something to you, it will to some

one

else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright ©2018

Divorced people are amongst the most lonely in the world.

Tags

cancer, encouragement, faith, Families, family, friends, happiness, health, Hodgkins, hope, life, love, survivor

A divorce is like a death, it is for sure the same and certainly no one will understand unless they know the hurt that’s felt, when someone they love dies. I would like to think that all people marry because they love each other and believe that to be case in most marriages. It certainly was for me, yes that’s right I was married before as was my now wife.

When someone gets divorced, they carry hurt, Pain, and a feeling of failure. In my own experience it’s hard to see people siding with one or the other. No one truly knows what’s gone on except the people involved. Yet all that the people experiencing the separation yarn is what they got married for. They yearn love, and they look for a way to get rid of the pain. That’s why you see so many people drinking to excess, taking drugs and perhaps even ending their own life because they don’t feel it’s worth living anymore. I know how all that feels, the desire to not feel the hurt anymore.

You hear friend say that they are looking forwards to their own life changing events, a baby, marriage, a christening, you want to feel happy for them so so bad. But you just feel like the loneliest person in the room, everyone does not understand you. They just see what they thing we should be doing. To love someone is the most beautiful thing, yet in divorce it so quickly turns to hate. Everyone seems to see solutions where all you want is for the Pain to go away. The talking stops and the thought that you ever loved that person just seems so inconceivable.

I mean what is it we all want in life?

I would say that there is only one thing on this earth that has ultimate importance. It’s a concoction that we all crave to meet this end goal. That life gives us that one thing. It comes through, faith and love. Consideration for others, friendship. It comes through giving, through laughter and being around people that care about you and don’t want something from you. It comes through hugs, from having a good family. Yet someone going through divorce will not feel it, they have so much more to overcome before becoming happy. That’s it isn’t it, that we all aim to be happy in life and to find that balance has a high value. If not the most important thing in life is to be happy.

Everyone of us can be that small part of that concoction for some happiness. My challenge to you today, is that you can be a part for someone’s happiness. That someone who is enduring a divorce or a loss needs our love not our sympathy. They need our arm around them to tell them that they are important, they are loved and have value.

I think the key is not to judge what has happened, or who’s at fault rather love the person. Remembering that rejection which is what divorce is, can result in devastating consequences. Not to long ago a distant friend of mine (our electrician) committed suicide because the divorce was so messy. Going round to see him with some ring donuts and phone calls to lift him. We’re not enough, or maybe there just we’re not enough people that helped to lift him up. I cared about him and did my best to help him to come through. But ultimately he was not happy, that was missing in his life.

Our girls puppies

Happiness was not a part of his life, rejection took over and Gary could cope no more. That’s what we need to nurture in life. The situations and people that bring us happiness, and the feelings that go with that. Happiness is a priceless gift and one to be cherished.

The point of this blog is to remind you of what’s important, happiness. Bathe in it and enjoy it like the new morning sun. Happiness is peace, and peace is acceptance. Those 3 things are without doubt a recipe for a disease and stress free life. I have experienced the latter and for sure seek happiness over anything that’s going to rob me of it. If it’s not going to bring some joy in the end I tend to steer away from it. Life’s to short that’s for sure.

Have a great week.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram

@fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share with others, if it meant something to you, it will to someone

else. All images are from a Google search. Or my olwn, taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright ©2018

If only we all loved like dogs.

Tags

bone, dogs, encouragement, energy, facebook, friends, given, life, love, twitter

What’s the importance of Love?. It’s a bizarre life. I mean are you important or is what you do THE most important. What you you do, is so much more important than the importance of who you are. Good people will be surrounded by good people. I once said to a friend, “it’s not about how many friends we have, it’s the quality of the people you call friends that matters”

The world is a complicated place if we make it that way. Yet, if we just did our best for everyone we have in our lives. It becomes not so much about us but what we do that matters the most. What matters is what we do with ourselves, blessing someone with what we have makes what we have important to someone.

It brings us to the story of the rich man and the poor old lady. They both gave at the church collection. One gave a seemingly large amount, yet compared to his wealth it was a drop in the ocean. The older lady gave ALL that she had. There was nothing more to give. Yet it seemed like she had been stingy compared to the rich man.

The point of that story today is to help you to realise, that when someone suffers what they give may seem small, but they may have given you everything they had. It’s difficult for some people to give a lot of their time, when it’s so painful to move. But when someone gives all they have, that’s such a special gift.

When it comes to love, what’s the point in loving if it’s not with your whole heart. My dogs never ever seem to let up in the love they show. It’s always everything they want to give me. Not a bit, then run off. They smother us with kisses and love never is it to much trouble, if only we were like that. That we love people anyway. Wouldn’t the world be a fabulous place.

To love someone without condition is a precious gift. What I have I give, because what’s the point in enjoying it to myself when I could be sharing.

Don’t hold back this Christmas period, life has shown me that life’s precious and what you do for someone else could really make a difference in our lives and more importantly theirs.

Have a great Christmas everyone, and enjoy your holiday. More importantly enjoy giving.

Have a great 23rd of December.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram

@fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.

Everything you read are better based on my own experipence and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Pleapse share with others, if it meant something tou you it owill to someone

else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright ©2017

Don’t let anyone steal your dream!

Tags

can, desire, Do, encouragement, facebook, faith, foundations, GOD, health, hope, life, Lord'sPrayer, love, meaning, rises, somebody, survived, survivor, twitter, world

Dear life, thank you for the doubters. Thank you for the people that thought I can’t. Thank you for the people that want to discourage me to remain in a box they see is fit for me. Thank you for the people that think a way is ok for them, because they are the people that make me want to be something. They are the people that make me want to and not try to. People talk to me about what they want to do, and I rarely hear people talk about what they will do.

One thing I love to do in my life is to encourage other people. For many years I have considered what to do with my life, what business to be involved in. Yet, it’s always been staring me in the face. It’s not about a product, or bad circumstances. It’s about my state of mind, about what I am am determined to do. When you are determined to achieve something for sure you will achieve it. It got me thinking about the things I have been determined to get, the things that I have been determined to get but did not achieve. Negative? For sure not. It also hit me thinking about the things I wanted to do and which of those I achieved. Then the things I have been told in my life I can and can’t achieve.

Is life really about circumstances? Does disease really have any right what so ever to take away your dreams. Why have you not got the car you want, why are you not in the house you want to be in. The watch you want is still in the shop and you are making do with one that’s perfunctory. You want to be in a detached house yet you live in a semi. You hate your train journey to work, your job is not what you want. You feel depressed, your in a life that you feel your being treated unfairly or that you have been given a bad hand that life has not treated you right. Who on earth has the right to do that, why do you do that.

I love it personally when people tell me “you can’t” because I am very stubborn which makes me want to prove people wrong. It makes me want to say. “Really, well I don’t feel the same way” I weight trained 3 times a week for 2 1/2 years. NOTHING would stop me. Why was that though? When we bought our second house together, it HAD to be detached. When we bought our dog car it had to be a certain car, yet a few years previous I made do. Although maybe we allowed our circumstances to dictate to us what that car would be.

It’s time for change, but how what will that involve. A job? An online business? Well I have my ideas, I have the solution and so do you. It’s staring you in the face as well. That you and only you have the answer.

Raise your standards, because you will always get what you HAVE to have. Never in the world have people had what they want in their mind. YOU have the opportunity to achieve, there is no possibility here. There is a reality here, that you have right in front of you. Commitment to the end goal will bring an achievement. Doing something over and over and over and over again. What ever that is that your committed to you WILL achieve it. 7 years ago I became passionate about getting well. I did not just want to be well again though, I wanted to be cured. To rise up once again and to help others to believe that they can also have a better day tomorrow. Yet I believe that what matters the most is TODAY, not the next day. Get rid of the people in your life that hold you back. Show me a man that said I could not beat cancer, I will tell you now they are no longer in my life. Get rid of anything that holds you back, it does not matter what that is.

“Who has the right to stop you” nobody! Yet you stop you all the time because your standards are to low.

I want you to know today, that what you have failed at in the past does not make you a failure. What makes you a failure is not getting up again and perusing your passion. Perusing your dreams. Dreams are normally more than what you have, unobtainable. But I want to challenge you today to stand up and say “I am going to fulfil my dreams” see you are the problem, that your thinking, your mind what you choose to be. Will actually be.

Einstein said “imagination is more important than knowledge”

What do you want? To be influenced, or to be a person that influences others? That’s my question to you.

I have been frozen, I have been held back by others opinions. You have the power to be who ever you want to be, you have the power to bring into your life what ever it is that you want in your life. There are a lot of complainers, excuse makers. People that don’t mind settling for what they have, people that let things happen to them.

No ones journey is easy, but you do have the chance each day to ‘Become’ you have the choice to think what you think. Success is a journey that starts with what you choose to think about. You really think you can be the best if you don’t do anything about it. I want you to believe today, that this one sentence is true. “That anything is possible”

If you don’t try then where is your hope, hope is something that becomes faith. I started writing a book some time ago, I for sure have been plagued with stumbling blocks in my life, but no more than someone else has. What’s wrong with me is that I have listened to some negativity in my life. That my thoughts that I have chosen have led to some of my failings. We have all had bad things happen to us, but your thoughts, hope, belief, and getting back up that matters. True failure is not trying at all.

Don’t get in line because other people are, dare to make your own line. The one you dream of.. I guess this blog could be deemed ‘the law of attraction’ get rid of the people who hold you back and start your own line, be a line maker not a person that’s happy to que. my wife will read this after she has watched her Derby day. What’s funny about that is that she found herself queuing on 2 occasions today. Both times she chose to leave that que and come home to enjoy home instead.

You are what you think you are and my challenge to you is, that choose not to talk yourself out of your dreams like I have for 30 years. That you stand and act on your dreams. That you drop the negatives. You have learnt the fear of failure like I have. Well today I am am starting a new line, a line where I am going to stop listening to the negatives even if they come from myself.

You have a lot to offer the world, you also have a lot to give to yourself. Step out of the boxes the world puts you in, because your an amazing person with more to offer than you know. What people say about you, does NOT have to become your reality.

Do what you love, just do that. That’s your new line. You deserve to find your purpose! You don’t deserve to hear the play it safe speech. Because non of us will get out of this alive and that’s a fact, so we might aswell do what we love right? Keep stepping forwards, keep being positive. Keep practicing, keep believing in your dreams because they are there for a reason.

Write 5 reasons why you won’t give up! Make them your reasons to carry on.

Have a great week,

I look forwards to hearing you comments.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram

@fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.

Everything you read are better based on my own experipence and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage yoou. Pleapse share with others, if it meant something tou you it owill to someone

else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright ©2017

I am not!

Tags

family, friends, help, life, love, together, transplant, will have never seen them

Even that is a creation. You can choose the “I will be” creation but that’s your choice. It’s not about you being happy or God being happy with you.

It’s about the you you are, being positive about you. If the feelings not good, let it go! People say things like

“why me” but why not you?

“Life’s so hard” it is for everyone!

“I wish I could” you can, there is a way.

Life is as hard as we expect it to be, I mean I can talk right, suffering more than I should because of cancer? Or maybe cancer made me realise how alive I am. Pain is a reminder of that everyday. A reminder cancer could not win, or a reminder I am alive. Oh of course I get my bad days, but then you can’t go though life with just all good days, or all bad days. You can’t have one without the other.

When we live life this way, nothing can bring us down for long periods. Because there is always something to look forward to. Pain is a reminder we are still winning. Reasons to do rather than excuses not to.

Living a grateful life is for sure a better way to live. We can’t have one without the other. A battery can’t work without a negative, and for sure you can’t have a positive without it. So a life being grateful for the negatives is far more useful.

Another one drives a duster…

are you grateful for the negatives?

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram

@fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.

Everything you read are better based on my own experipence and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Pleapse share with others, if it meant something tou you it owill to someone

else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright ©2017

Be who you are, who cares what others think?

Tags

achieve, attitude, cancer, destiny, encouragement, energy, faith, friends, hope, life, love, twitter

The most important thing is what you think about you, what others think is not actually your problem unless you make it your problem. From this moment onwards, my caring about what people think stops here. Impressive is being happy in your own skin, not wanting others to recognise that your ok or that your a good person. Actually why would you care what anyone thinks of you, as long as your ok with you. You will have made mistakes in life, and thats ok. Don’t give yourself a hard time for the mistakes you have made, move on and surround yourself with people that like themselves. Choose your friends wisely and make sure your around people that want to build you up, not drag you down. People that are content not to be something, will not help you grow. Growth starts with you, and the acceptance that your a good person. 

Be who you are, not what the world thinks you are. Because you know what, people will want you to trip up. I still don’t know what I want to do in business but I do know this. That I want to encourage people in their journeys. I want to lead people to success, even if that’s believing that they can beat cancer like I did. Believing you can starts with you and not what others think of you. What you are not, is a wasted sentence. What you did wrong is a wasted thought. 

Be positive in your daily walk, and make sure everyday you do something that builds yourself up. You won’t find multi millionaires in a night club being sick down a toilet. They will be in a nice restaunt eating good food with a hood wine or even an ice water. 

Be who you want to be not what others expect you to be. Because what others think is not your problem.

Have a great day

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram

 @fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Pleapse share with others, if it meant something tou you it owill to someone

 else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.
You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright ©2017

Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living.

Tags

bee, charity, direct, encouragement, faith, How, insurance, life, love, shakira, solution

Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living. 

Your having a bad day? You can’t take anymore? Your bills are to high? You keep saying you can’t. Every single day of my life I am faced with the effects of treatment. Yet every single day I do the best that I can. Or do I? Or do I just do the best that I am told I can, and should expect to be. In school we are taught, but we are not taught any differently today than 150 years ago. Yet the world around us has changed so much. A computer 150 years ago was a simple abacus, yet you will be reading this on some kind of reading device. People with no money go to rubbish dumps to collect plastic bottles so they can eat. Yet you hold a phone, a kindle, and I pad? You have a roof over your head and possibly even sky or a cable network and a flat screen TV. Your ok, you have food in your belly maybe even you may have some money down the back of your settee. 

It’s such a shame for the fish, that it can’t climb trees. Such a shame for the Bee that can’t make it rain. We focus so much on what can’t be that we forget what can be. That only you are restricting you from any kind of success even if that’s just getting out of bed today. I am so very exhausted right now we have had illness in the house and it’s been hard work looking after myself aswell as my wife as I write this I am up and down to the toilet with a tummy bug. I feel like absolute rubbish. 

But let’s go back to the fish that can’t climb a tree, it can swim, it can reproduce it can do things we can’t. Like spend its whole life under water. We can’t do that. The Bee, that makes honey that transformes us and even fights infection. I must have some honey now I mention it. Bees give us so much that we all take for granted. Even now a symbol of together for the atrocity in Manchester. 

Shakira grew up in a rich family that lost everything and knows what it’s like to have nothing. All her house was cleaned out and at 8 years old she had not even a chair to sit on. Yet she used what she did have. (Her voice) her peers told her that her voice was bad, she was also rejected and produced 3 albulms before she was recognised. She vowed to do something for the poor and now runs a charity that blesses people. All because she used what she did have and did not focus on what the world would have her believe. JK Rowling had nothing when she draughted one of the worlds best selling books of all time. 

You will get kicked down, that’s a fact. We all have a fight that’s also a fact. We all can look at the good in something or the bad. But living is in the getting up, and finding something good to say about someone. This post did not exsist 20 minutes ago, now it does forever. I don’t know if you needed to hear this today. But if you were encouraged today, let me know it’s great to get positive feed back. Focus on what you can do not what you can’t. After all can’t is a made up word anyway.

Fonz

 
http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram

 @fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Pleapse share with others, if it meant something tou you it owill to someone

 else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.
You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright ©2017

I know what it’s like to eat salty bacon with tears.

Tags

awareness, bone, cancer, faith, Families, friends, Hodgkins, hope, life, love, partner, Peace, strength, survivor, transplant, weakness

I know what it’s like to eat salty bacon with tears.

I don’t know how many of you have just watched “Growing up with cancer” but I just did. Children that had the cancer i did, children that had to grow up with cancer and face things no child should. Well it took me back once again to that room where I had my stem cell transplant.  Kids are so resilient aren’t they, accepting of their situation and able to rationalise things and adapt. They seem to be able to deal with things quickly and efficiently. 

There was a young lad in the wards that became depressed and lost his appetite. He was unable to eat due to how he felt, he was angry and upset although he was uncertain of why he was so unhappy. Being depressed he was certain of. I know I was low and forced my family away from me, which is actually why I am writing this very post.  The family that wanted to be close to me I pushed away.  I did not allow them on the ward even though they could have really. I was so hung up on the word. Isolation. 

I wanted to give myself the best chance at beating cancer and living longer by not being around any germs what so ever. Well I want to put that right right now. Today should my wife’s dad be alive he would be 74. But cancer took him aged 59. I never knew him. But it’s made me realise I was wrong to be that way, that I should apologise to my family and say Sorry. Sorry for keeping you at arms length, and ask that you all forgive me.

Whilst in that room the chemo they give you, is so horrendous that you get hundreds of ulcers all the way through your body. They tell you that you are unable to eat, and that you would be better to have a nose tube to be fed through, and that exercise would be impossible. 

What I did in there I did for my family, I did what I thought I could to come through. I did press ups on the visiting chair that my wife used sometimes. I walked from the bed to the ensuite which was about 5 steps and back whilst having chemo moving all of the time and eating my breakfast not once but twice everyday. Sounds greedy right? Wrong. I would say eating bacon with ulcers in your mouth throat, intestines, all the way through to your bowl is not easy. You cry whilst eating making the bacon taste saltier. But every bite hurts like hell as it goes through your body making you not want to eat. Without doubt the easiest thing to do is to not eat, to choose nothing off the menu to sleep all day and not excercise. To give up. 

All I did in there I did for my family, and want to say sorry for not doing the things you wanted me to. It was wrong of me. 

To anyone that’s facing cancer or supporting anyone with cancer. What seems normal in life without cancer is most certainly not normal in a life during cancer. 

But I leave you with this, to do something is better than doing nothing, even if at the time it may seem like the wrong thing to do, it’s still better to do.
Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. I

Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something tou you it will to someone

 else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.
You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright ©2017

To give Life

Tags

cancer, encouragement, family, friends, GOD, hope, life, love, together, transplant, travel

To give life!!
At the moment we are looking after 3 dogs, although the other 2 are faiths pups you still follow them around guiding them to be good. The warmth they give my heart far out weighs the mist chief I find them making. Take this afternoon.

I am making a bigger pond for my fish of which I have 12 remaining. But that’s due to me not putting a net over the pond and a heron pinching one last night. So I am indoors sorting out cloud print or something on our Epsom printer… (Still no idea) the pups were outside. 

I am not silly, I know they make mischief but hoped they would be good. They normally play in the side garden, ripping up paper and snapping things. Anything is fair game. Take the other day I planted some climbers, only to find the plants half eaten on the grass. I said nothing and ent and got some chicken wire ( the plastic kind) and screwed it either side of the posts so no further intrusions of plants avoiding all dog chrime!!

The next day I came into the garden where I was confident I had sorted the issue to find the same plant uprooted and more besides and the netting ripped off. I looked at Lily Hope our puppy who tilted her head to the side in a (waaaaat) kinda way. Looking to cute to chastise. With a smile on my face… “NAUGHTY PUPPY”. I said. She looked at me satisfied with her dog chrime with a look of one upmanship as she waddled off.  No more has happened since. However. 

We return to the pond build and I had successfully moved all remaining 12 fish into a paddling pool ready for putting into their new home. Tomorrow. Whilst confusing myself with printer clouds and google chrome it appeared the two amigos ( sisters ) have been naughty and removed one of my fish and had decided to play with it on the decking. When I arrived they quickly left the area waddling satisfactorily down the path whilst I decided if I should bin the fish or do my best to revive the poor girl. 

Of course I opted to revive the fish, to my astonishment it now lives. My puppy and our friends puppy no doubt will still be partners in dog chrime, and I will continue to love them, and hope they find me some sort of  leader in the future. But I do rather think it best to enjoy that they are with us, and see their little lives as pleasant unpredictable additions to our family. 

Life is that, and no matter what your pain you can look upon the trials you face however you like. But you do have life which is a gracious gift.
Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. I

Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something tou you it will to someone

 else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.
You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright ©2017

#PuppyWatch

Tags

belief, belonging, childbirth, faith, GOD, hope, IVF, life, love, Puppies, purpose, tvr

#PuppyWatch 

So what’s the most amazing thing in life. I have just said it, its life itself. Judging people makes an unhappy life in my opinion, people like some church goers think that having a religion gives them a reason to judge. The hardest thing I think is to come to a point of acceptance for who someone is. To love them anyway even though you may not agree with another’s method. Well that brings me to answer the question as to why we have chosen to have puppies and not children. 

WE DIDNT.

Someone else chose for us, someone with a pen and paper computer and no logic. Someone that said we should have chosen to have children sooner. That we should have considered my wife’s age and mine and not left it so long. You see, when I first got cancer I was told my sperm would stop working, that maybe I should go and store some should I wish and indeed we wish to have children in the future. I was 41 when I donated and hoped one day that we would have children of our own. So I beat cancer and by the time I had regained some kind of strength I found it had come back and would need a transplant of my stem cells to preserve my life. The worst months of my life. All written about here in this blog. 

Sorry
My life has been consumed with hope that one day I would look face to face at my son or daughter. It was not to be and whilst my wife is fit, and has enough eggs we are being refused IVF unless we pay for it. Of course it’s at appeal and even though I have messaged the BBC and many other people no one seems interested that a system that has made me infertile cannot help us. In true Fonz style though. I have started a new journey, the one of new life through the puppies our Miriacle Faith has created. It’s a blessing in a different way. But still life. More people are being touched by the blessing of life because we fought the Evil of cancer. I don’t know about you, but it fills me with a sense of pride. Happiness that others will benifit because someone ticked the NO box. But I do still hope that someone somewhere hears my story who can help us. I will just keep writing and blessing people.

It’s nearly time for our 6pm #PuppyWatch where people will tune in to see their puppies. What a privalage that is, to know such gifts of life because of something that tried to take my life.

You can be anything you choose to be, but surely doing something is better than doing nothing.

Have a great day

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Ps, I have committed to doing this for 365 days every morning, what I ask of you is that you share these blogs I make on email, facebook twitter, you can affect people by pressing a button. Please do that. I asked ppl to share yesterday 18/05/2015 at 8pm they did and 100 people saw my blogs in 2 hours. It only takes a click or two.

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. I

Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something tou you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

Copyright ©2017

Fighting for love, means it’s not love.

Tags

faith, greatness, help, hope, joy, life, love, passion

It’s funny how a memory can trigger so much of your past. How people act or even a film! We don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day, but we do love each day together, now don’t think we have the perfect Hollywood relation. What we do have is something that many people never find in life.
 My mum and dads look at each other is Valentine’s Day every day for them. Then I think of the sand storms , the snow, the rain, the potholes in the road we have faced and then remember my wife. I say in my mind ” thank you father ” you allowed this part of my life. Some people have stopped visiting, but they dont love us less. They just have a life to live to. 

Love you guys

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Ps, I have committed to doing this for 365 days every morning, what I ask of you is that you share these blogs I make on email, facebook twitter, you can affect people by pressing a button. Please do that. I asked ppl to share yesterday 18/05/2015 at 8pm they did and 100 people saw my blogs in 2 hours. It only takes a click or two.

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them hereby to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something tou you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

Copyright ©2017

What’s extraordinary anyway.

Tags

can, cant, extraordinary, football, gift, help, hope, life, love, SENSATION, success, yes

What’s extraordinary anyway.

I was reminded on a phone call tonight, something very poinient. Something that all to many people do in their lives that stops them from being successful. I am married to a winner, my marriage is to someone who likes to say Yes. Extraordinary people tend to do one thing that makes them just that. Do you know what that is? They help people. Now I am not talking about helping them to get up a hill when they don’t want to. (Energy is wasted pulling donkeys uphill) You see how can you hold another’s hand unless they reach out theirs. People that hold out their hands are either helping or being helped, and what you do will always remain your choice. How you see yourself is who you will be, and who you won’t be also. 

The people in this world that help others in my mind, are the ones that are extraordinary. They are the people that make things happen, they are the ones on the phone helping others. When I started this blog, I hoped that one person would be encouraged to carry on. That one person would find the strength within them to get back up and move forwards once again. For sure cancer has helped me to mature, it’s helped me to see the world in a perspective that maybe I never asked for. Someone sat in front of me and told me I had cancer, and I chose how to respond to that. Cancer or indeed any battle in life, makes you who you are today. Even the word can’t makes you into something.

Some of my posts are very dark, even life itself seemingly impossible at times. Thoughts of giving up, throwing in the towel and times on my knees with tears rolling down my face. But yet all those times made me into the man I am today, the man that wants to hold out his hand and help others in their very own battles. My heart is to help those that want to help themselves. My heart is to stand with those that want to stand and maybe feel they can’t. It’s not a word I use often but I know others do say it. Which kinda brings me to the end of this very short post.

Those that are extraordinary, always move forwards. They find solutions, where others see problems. They say yes where others say can’t. Because of course you are right, if you say you can’t you can’t. Those that give reasons to do rather than excuses not to help people. Choose to say can’t, you are exactly right.

What will you choose?

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them hereby to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant soumething tou you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

Copyright © 2016

My story

Tags

cancer, death, demetia, faith, fumeral, grace, help, hope, life, matters, trump

My names Mark, Fonz to my friends. My story isn’t a A heart wrenching one or anything, it’s just my life. A life I never expected to live. I always had plans to be a dad some day, but with the right girl. The girl that made me quiver, the girl that loved me for me. I was not especially good looking normal I guess, mr average although not in all departments. I always thought I would be a high achiever. Live in an above average house, not that the house was big, just that it would be full of love. One song I can’t forget was ‘feel’ by Robbie Williams. 

I always dreamt of feeling the feeling of love in the home that we live in.  My first marriage was born out of hate, a bomb in Ireland my girlfriend bk than was stood 10 feet from the bomb when it blew. We married and love was born out of a tragic bomb that affects people’s lives today and will forever. Married life failed. Back then I wanted to end the hopes and dreams, I felt as though I should die . Leave you all behind as it were. I decided to travel instead to look for my Mrs right. To have some fun whilst doing it, I drank to forget. When I drank I was numb,numbed by the alcohol. I lived and did things I loved. Went to Sydney on New Year’s Eve, Brisbane at Christmas. Travelled New Zealand. Along the way I turned down life long dreams. Swimming with dolphins, seeing a glacier, many things that I wanted to do with a true love. I did go to an F1 grad prix in Melbourne though and came home soon after. Tears rolled as I flew back to GB.

I moved to Manchester. Where I met some amazing people, but one I met in the most unlikely of places on the most unlikely night. A night out with a friend, a different pub and there she was. Blonde hair, the most amazing smile and sourounded by men. I whispered in her ear ( I will be back when your boy friend is gone) I then flicked her hair into her face.  That was the start of our lives together, the girl I had gone around the world looking for was there. You know, the one that makes your heart melt. The one that’s for you. 

We worked hard, moving into a really little semi detached house after 4 years renting a big terrace. Then losing her mum to cancer so suddenly it shook us both. 4 years later we moved to Preston where we now live. Little did we know what was ahead. 1/4/2011 we moved in June 2011 I was told I would die with out treatment diagnosed with cancer. July I started treatment. They told me I would become infertile so I had to store some boys. Swimmers or sperm to the medical among you. I did, and hoped one day I would be able to use them after the fight to beat cancer. 6 months of treatment, chemo every 2 weeks. We had Christmas together 2011, friends disowned us. Family did not understand. Our fight carried on, until I started to get better, work again, the extension I started when diagnosed was finished. I started to do bits in the garden, help a friend, my energy came back a little and we bought our dog faith. 
Faith was my shadow, a wonderful dog. She still comes with me where ever I go,  and loves her dad like no other. For me she would do anything.

Ah but then I have to say, she licked me on my neck, again and again and barked at me often. She was telling me it’s back, my cancer had come again. A Bone marrow transplant, a tiny room. All the time believing my deposit would be used one day. 18 months ago I had that transplant weak though I still am and not able to work full days, we hoped that IVF would be given to us. My wife was 39 but got to 40 when we had our appointment, we were told we would be able to go ahead to now eventually have a child. A gift from God, although stored by me and saved in the nitrogen bank. 

Then that day, the letter came. No it said, your wife’s to old and you should have tried earlier. You are not able to have children. But not giving up we made an appeal, supported by phycologist doctors and reports. Yet still the answer is no. Is it? 

That’s when we decided to let our beloved faith have pups.

So here we are, that’s where our journey has led us.

Meet our puppies that will get a new home. But also our blonde girl Lilly Hope. Our new blessing.

Rejoice with us.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Ps, I have committed to doing this for 365 days every morning, what I ask of you is that you share these i make on email, facebook twitter, you can affect people by pressing a button. Please do that. I asked ppl to share yesterday 18/05/2015 at 8pm they did and 100 people saw my blogs in 2 hours. It only takes a click or two.

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. I

Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something tou you it will to someone

 else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

Copyright ©2017

Faith.

Tags

9/11, death, faith, forwards, Godly, hope, life, love

Sometimes simple things that happen, help us to come to the realisation of some parts of this life that we live. We all know I have had cancer, we all know how hard I had to fight to complete the tasks that were before me. Never once did I not believe that I would die from cancer. I believed that I would survive, I also believed I would survive for a reason although that reason was not yet apparent. In its entirety at least. There are many times that I have used the word that entitles this blog, many times every day since we gave a home to our baby doggie “Faith”. Many times me and my wife have held hands and looked at each other, with a look of belief whilst masked with the fear and sorrow that was and is still called cancer. 

When ever anyone faces any desease, difficulty, challenge, or life changing situations. There we have to realise, that we have enough Faith to see us through to the other side. Because of course without actions Faith is indeed dead.

Faith for me, apart from our amazing addition to our family. Well it’s something we as a family Mark and Andie, also my further family have had to have to come through the otherside. With my Fathers cancer thrown into the mix. The thing we need most in life, is faith that we will overcome the treacherous road that’s before us.  We have to believe that our God, has a plan for us, believing that even what we are going through has a reason. You see that’s why I started writing, why I started the blog you read and share fonzandcancer. Because I believed that I would survive, I believed that I was allowed to have breath in my lungs because I had faith.
When you have Faith, it’s not the feeling or the belief that makes a differance. Anyone can have faith, it’s only powerful when you WALK by Faith. So simple an action as walking by faith, can make more differance than you know. The effect you can have in another’s life starts with a step, and believing that those steps you make are for a reason. I personally feel it maybe possible that I am to turn another corner. Yet I have to step forwards by faith, not knowing what it is that will be my future in God Faith and Love.

 

What ever you do, make sure it’s something. Every journey you go on, even if it is just to the kitchen starts with a step. For you to achieve anything you first have to move forwards. I read a blog the other day and the person spoke about moving forwards, that it did not matter how far forwards as long as it was just that. You do not know the impact you can have on someone’s life unless you take your own walk by faith.

 

Remember as I hold my wife’s hand and she mine, we have to believe by faith in what we are together. It’s the same with our God isn’t it, it’s the same with what you believe in. You may not see what the effects have in its physical form, but if you are led by faith trust me, things will happen. For me personally, this up and coming week is most proberbly going to need more faith than I have ever had. I have arranged a meeting for people to discuss new possibilities in our local area for young people. I mean who knows it may just be a hand full of people, maybe I will look an idiot. But how will anything be achieved if I don’t step forwards and do something. Surely doing something is better than doing absolutely nothing.

So I want to end this post by sugesting this to you. That your life is for a reason, and if you believe that by Faith, and move forwards in faith. Believing that. Because only by believing that and then moving forwards can you make a differance. If you do that, you WILL make a differance. Your life is for a reason and all you have to do is step out in faith.

The question is
“Will you”?

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories.

Copyright © 2016

Sunshine and Bees.

Tags

business, cancer, chemotheropy, desease, garage, hope, life, police, scanner, treatment

Do you ever just stop, look and listen to the natural world. Listen to the bees buzzing, watch the birds communicating as they sing their chorus. Appreciate the smell of the flowers in the garden, gaze in wonder at all that has been created. I often look out of our window at the birds feeding at the bird station. My wife always buys thes coconut shells filled with fat that the birds love. But then today I was wondering why I appreciated the small things so much, why I appreciated the smells and the world of nature. How I had become so grateful for my surroundings. Well I guess the answer to that is simple, and obvious.

I know what it’s like to be unable to smell the flowers, to watch the bees. I know what it’s like not to be able to here the birds. It was only 3 weeks where I experienced life unable to hear the birds  the bees and the wind russling between the leaves. To be unable to smell the sweet fragrance of flowers in my garden. I was not even able to feel the sunshine on my face such was the reality of the small room I was cooped up in. But you know what, I am grateful I have had that experience in that room isolated from the world. With my I pad my wife (during the day) and the days on fan that kept me cool at night times. Because I can hear the birds today, I can smell the flowers today, I can hear the birds chatting in the morning.

Life is without doubt a precious gift, one that we never truly appreciate until we are not able to experience life with all of its senses. Is then life not a gift to you to me, to all the creatures that roam the earth. Are we not all fortunate and blessed that we have air to breath and eyes to see. I have found myself not being bothered about what is going on in someone else’s world, found myself becoming a curtious driver. I have found giving gives me a great deal of pleasure, where as before it was what I wanted that as most important. 

Right now there is a valeter disrupting all this tranquility with his loud jet washer. But hey, it seems to make no differance to the birds. They still sing, they are still playing in the trees, and seem happy to be alive. The point is, the birds and the bees don’t care what we do, they just carry on enjoying what they can. Accepting the world they live in for what it is, take a moment to pause today and admire the world that’s all around us. Take a moment to appreciate what you do have rather than what you don’t have. After all, what we have today is a gift. A gift to be enjoyed appreciated and cherished. But will you? Do you? A year ago today I had no option but to continue life with out the enjoying senses that I have been given. One thing I did do though, because I was able to. That was to encourage my fellow man to keep on keeping on, what ever that path maybe. Blogging 365 times in as many days. 

I hope you find time to enjoy what is all around you today, enjoy what you do have.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

Are you a blessing to the world?

Tags

Belive, chemotheropy, depression, faith, gift, give, goals, hope, life, love, today

It’s a funny old life, sometimes I am in awe of what this life has given me, other times I find my mortal self complaining of what is after all. Insignificant. Again my dear dear friend Rob shows me something on a day where I needed to be reminded. Reminded that it’s up to us what we look for in this world, I have learnt so much in this past year, and one of the most important things I have learnt is that the moment you are in right now, what you see right now. Will only ever be that way today. I have said many times, in life there is only one day. Today. That is the only gift we are given. Today. 

I will share the link my friend shared with me, I was told today that it’s ridiculous that dogs see oras or even that they may exsist. I am sure that the bible speaks of a light, the light that shines though Jesus. Would that not be conceived as an ora? Well I just know that animals love me, I know that it’s about seeing the good in life and seeing you glass half full, not half empty. Today is a sad day for my family as my dads cousin died. RIP Bill. He was my second cousin, Bill was a nice man a man that was concidered and gentle and kind. I am sure in his life he reflected often on times that were of true whole hearted enjoyment. Bill was a man that loved what he was able to see and accepted what that was. Content I would say, my heart and prayers go out to Bill tonight and Val his wife and the family as a whole. It’s so sad to see a life end, yet for me I see it as an opportunity to reflect and appreciate what was.

  
I won’t pretend to know Bill well because I didn’t. That opertunity is now past, but I will always remember with fondness sharing time with Bill and Val on our cruise around the Mediterranean. I pray Bills family are comforted at this sad time, but are also able to laugh and enjoy the memories they shared with Bill.

You see life’s hard, or it can just be a moment in the universe connected to all the other moments that everyone else is enjoying. Because if you can read this, you have a life and have been given the most precious gift of all. Life today, treasure what you have and also (as my friend would say) what you don’t have also. Because for me NOT having cancer and having a today is but one of the greatest gifts of all. You know I was able to drive to my mum and dads today, I hugged my dad till a tear rolled down my cheek. Why because today, my dad lost his cousin and he needed his son. So I hope I was a blessing  to my mum and my dad today. As I hope you used the life you have today to be a blessing somewhere. Here is the link Rob my dear friend shared with me and I share with you today. It’s not to late to be a blessing.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

50 shades of grey? Only one shade of love…

Tags

business, Good, google, hope, life, love, loving, of grey, passion

When I was dating, I found 50 shades of grey. I found more than that, I found so many shades. But why do people think that sex is a shade and maybe even the main shade. Let me suggest to you that, what you think sex is. Is actually only a part of a shade of a possible shade of life. You see love only has one shade, it has one meaning. The world would have us believe that there is so many more ways to love using our sexual being. Yet it’s only skin deep. Here is a thought that’s as deep maybe deeper than you have thought.

If there are 50 shades of grey and it’s made up of black and white, is grey a colour. Because black and white are not colours so where did grey come from? Let’s assume me and you are doing our best to find out what love is. That maybe a walk on the beach, a kiss, or a cuddle is what we deem as love. 

  
For me, when I got married I did not take one aspect of life and love that as my life. I did not perceive life as being glued by one in particular thing that I liked. My love for my wife and hers for me is about 2 letters US. It’s about us, it’s about freedom for us both, allowing or rather wanting each other to have and be the best we can be on all levels. It’s not about being a great lover, a great cook, a great person. It’s about one thing. Balance. Balance in OUR lives that we live TOGETHER. Marriage is about together. And loving being together and working at being together knowing that we are both pulling together in the same direction. Stop being hung up on one singular aspect of a relationship. 
There is only one shade of love. Guess what, that one aspect,  is called love. That right there is how you use something that is supposed to make life distructive, constructive. You can be what ever you want to be if only you understand that life together has only one shade and that’s called loving each other. Just love who you are with today, give what you have, don’t hide what you could have given. That is not selfless. A relationship is about being together and working together. When you do that, things happen. The things that do happen matter to.

Just saying.

Fonz

Don’t take your life for granted.

Tags

decisions, endurance, hope, life, love, Oppertunity, reality

Did you know, that your life exsists for a reason. That your life is not an accident, you are not a chance happening. YOU ARE MEANT TO BE. You and only you can do what you do, for sure someone else can do the same things. But not how you can, not the way you do things. Your life is for a reason, yet so many complain about what there life is not. Instead of being grateful for what life is. You see so many, always want more, it’s never enough. When the next tick is ticked they still strive for more.

  
We have lived in this house for 6 years and have had to fight cancer the whole time we have lived here. Never have we lived here and enjoyed what we have around us. Yes sure there have been small moments where we have sat back and enjoyed what we are surrounded by. Those moments have been very few though, moments that we never had and never will again. We are all so fragile, our lives balance on a knife blade. Anyone of us could have a life changing event at any time. Today tomorrow, in 10 years. Maybe it will never happen, rest assured though, you will not always happen. You have a life that you have now, today. This moment will never ever happen again, life is without doubt something to be enjoyed not endured. The moment you complain about your coffee being to cold, or the meals taken to long to come. That moment won’t happen again, it’s gone. 

  
What’s awesome about that though, is that you have another chance to respond differently. To enjoy the person you are with instead of complaining about bad service or something else completely insignificant. What we have in front of us, with us, or by us. Is there for us not against us, but it’s how we react to it. That’s what really matters in life, our response. The way we see life, as an endurance or an opportunity. But every day is an opportunity presented to us, yet we walk on past all the opertunity. Seeing it all as hinderances. Yet the very thing that presents its so called hinderance could be the very thing that could give you the oppertunity that you don’t even know .

  
In life there are doors, it’s up yo us to walk past or push on the door. But one fact is for sure, and that is those oppertunity it’s will still be behind the door if we open it or not. Our choice is in the opening or walking past. For sure cancer has taught me that life does not present opertunities, it gives us a viechle to find the opertunities life has to offer. But the question is, will you look for opertunities or find reasons not to. Will you be the one that makes a differance, or just another name in the planet we call earth. Will you do, or complain about the hand you say you have been dealt? Or is the question, will you or won’t you?

The choice is yours

Fonz

Follow me, I will follow back. 😊
http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

  

It’s a choice.

Tags

choices, choose, collage, encouragement, faith, forgiveness, gentleness, hope, life, love, Peace

It’s our choice you would think what affects us in our lives is our fault right? Non of us know if they will get cancer. Or become ill. You who ate kebabs all your life or a minister that had or has a roast every week. When we get cancer we become we. People with cancer realise that we actually are the same after all. I met a lady yesterday who had had cervical cancer, she also struggled with leg pain. She described it as like I do, walking through treacle like her legs were like led weights. She found it difficult to bend down and get up. It’s upsetting how the very choice she made (to have treatment) is the reason that she has the pain. The cancer did not give her the pain, the way it was removed caused her the pain proberbly for the rest of her life. But how long that pain free life would have been without treatment is anyone’s guess.

It’s the same for anyone that chooses to prolong life and have treatment, they are almost certainly left with some kind of side effect. I did have my pain down to having had cancer in my bones, being at 4 a one step away from terminal.  The pain is without doubt some days unbearable, especially after doing something for a long period. Long could be 20 mins these days. 

  
I chose to save my life through treatment, therefore I chose the pain I am in every day. I know that, but it does not make it any easier to deal with. It does not make it easier to be positive everyday. But guess what. I choose to be positive every day, I have to make a conscious choice to enjoy another day or to be miserable in it. When I find myself getting really low because of the pain, I think about Steven Hawkin and how much he has to deal with. Yet making it to his 70’s he still goes to university and encourages many people everyday. Steven Hawkin is my bench mark, my get over yourself person. My if he can I can person, my help in times of despair . Everyone needs a way of making yourself do, I way of compelling yourself onwards. So now I have had my pain killers I am going to take Faithy out and throw the ball for her so she gets some excercise and I am going to say hello to everyone I see and smile through the pain.

What we choose to be, is what we will be.

Fonz

Follow me, I will follow back. 😊
http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

Valentine’s Day, or everyday?

Tags

#valentinesweekend, cancer, flowers, hope, life, love, loved, lover, petals, roses

In our house we don’t celebrate Halmark day, the day that was made up by a card company to gain sales on a day that is 8 weeks after Christmas and 6 weeks before Easter. Halmark called this day Valentine’s Day. Now I suppose it’s great for the young ones that don’t know how to tell some one of their fondness for them. But it’s no secret that I love my wife, we have after all been in love for 12 years nearly. Over a hundred people came to our wedding, they all know we love each other to. So there is no secret Valentine here. I may very well buy her some roses when they are half price tomorrow though, that way Valentine’s Day has given me something.

  
I was laughing to myself as I saw married men with children buying flowers for their wives, at the inflated prices. Does it really matter, would it not be better to buy flowers because you want to, rather than on a day that your feel forced to because of a date. I hold my wife every single day and tell her she is appreciated and loved by me. I want her to feel wanted and loved everyday. She knows how I work, I can’t stand feeling I have an obligation to do, forced to do. I do because I want to do.

I feel sorry for the people that are made to feel awkward because they did not follow the expectations of society. I do not feel awkward in any way. Love should be shown everyday not just on Valentine’s Day. I mean would the money not be better spent on something other than flowers on 14th of Feb. Or like me will you buy flowers if they are cheap enough after the shops have made the shops have made their money from the folk that paid the inflated prices.

  £50 today, £25 tomorrow

Surely loving because you want to is better than feeling you have to show it. As I said I think it has its place for youngsters who have a secret admiration for someone and don’t know how to break the ice. But not for us marrieds.

I look forward to the varied responses the world has to my thoughts in this post. Oh and happy Sunday.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

A violent Storm.

Tags

cancer, challenge, illness, life, love, mankind, MS, persevere, rain, storm, sunshine

As my friend Rob reminded me today, not personally. Just by being himself. I was reminded from my inner self,that the  storms that have raged throughout my life, have happened for a reason. No matter what happens to me, or to anyone else for that matter. ‘Life will go on’  storms will rage in your life. It is impossible for us to learn without there being a storm, impossible for good things to happen unless we endure a storm.

  
A storm in reality is the planets way of clearing the air, yet with all storms that come. Brings with the storm life. Water, that helps growth and wind that removes dead leaves. The leaves that impair the trees very life system. It’s the same in our lives, when facing illness, or coping with caring for another with a life threatening disease. It may not be life threatening either, just a long hard slog of treatments and arduous hospital visits yo become well again. 

What my friend reminded me was that after every storm, there is peace and sunshine. The life giving sun that seems to be the corner stone of all life without exception. Even us humans need to sun for vitamin d in our bodies. The world although Finely balanced is the giver of life. During a storm it’s hard going to move forwards, keep warm, dry , hydrated and fed. Yet there will always be sunshine. Never will you not see sunshine in your life, and if the sunshine has gone from the brokenness that the storm left behind. There are always memories of when the sun once shone brightly in our lives, we humans are the very product of sunshine that shone after the storm.

  
You will not know how long a storm will rage, but in some warped way I find happiness that there is a storm because I know full well that there WILL be sunshine, even in death there is sunshine because in death there are no more storms to endure. So my dear friends, smile in your storm safe in the knowledge there will be sunshine. Hold your head in your hands and sigh if you like, but do that you may just miss the sunshine you could have found. Start living your life expecting the sunshine as apposed to seeing life as a storm to endure.

It’s perspective alone will brighten your outlook,

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

There will always be hope.

Tags

always, believe, caroline, hope, life, love, superbowl

  
No matter how bad life is there is always something, you can succeed at. Where there is life, there is HOPE.

Mr Steven Hawkin

– Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

Life is what happened.

Tags

alive, happens, life, meant, purpose, you

Anyone that’s been ill, has had to take stock of life. Take a step back and look at what’s precious to us. Value the people we took for granted, because life happened. Most people can’t be taught to value the planet, life happens and because it happened what ever it was that stopped you in your tracks made you realise how valuable life truly is. Maybe you lost a parent, got ill yourself. What ever it was that made you take stock, be thankful.

  
I remember my wife’s mums funeral, I had not known illness back then. Although my wife had on a few occasions. Still today her mum ( Norma ) passing is the greatest loss I have known except my grand parents passing. I remember thinking. “Why are people still working, it’s a day to remember Norma” to them ‘Life happened’ just another funeral. But whilst thinking like this, it got me thinking how in tune the planet is. How indeed Life happens. It happens all around us. Plants grow, trees blossom and bear fruit. Leaves absorb the carbon dioxide, and replace it with oxygen that is useful to life on Earth.

The earth revolves on an axis that means we have gravity, yet the whole system of Earth the planets. The earth where we live is so balanced, perfect even. Yet we just breath without effort, walk without thinking. ‘Life happens’ 

This is what I believe about you, that you were always going to be. Your parents could have been anyone, but you were meant to be. Your life is of meaning to this planet, you are needed even though you may not feel appreciated. That’s because of that thing that happens called ‘Life’  there are so many amazing facts that we cannot comprehend, like every snow flake is different, that there are more stars in the universe than snow flakes on the earth. My cancer has enabled me to look at what I do have, what I am blessed with. Not what others choose to do that does not involve me, their life is happening to remember. Making someone smile when they want to be cross is a gift, hugging someone when they need you because life is happening to them. There is a gift right there, I make no apology for being so philosophical.Sometimes these   blogs just come to me. Why because someone out there needs to hear what I write, these words are the results of my  Life happening. 

Don’t stop your life happening, instead be pleased you have a life happening and look at the positives within that life.

Have a great weekend

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

The Strength of Us

Tags

faith, god's grace, god's love, heart, holding hands, hope, inner strength, inspiration, life, love, no fear, oneness, poetry, soul, togetherness

This is the strength of us Facing everything together And never giving up Once in a lifetime True love finds a place to shine In the heart In the soul In hands clasped tight Love shines Whatever comes Whatever you face Face it together One heart One soul Allow love to be bold God is […]

https://syl65.wordpress.com/2016/01/20/the-strength-of-us/

Diagnosis.

Tags

cancer, chemotheropy, diagnosis, faith, happiness, healing, illness, life, optimist, pessimist, terminal

I read a snippet from a blogger yesterday  Danny , his diagnosis was the start of a new journey. It got me thinking about my journey. My new WordPress friend does not have cancer, his diagnosis was something else. He has an amazing attitude, an attitude that life is a journey and so what if he had other plans on the old journey before his diagnosis. It’s the start of a brand new journey. I hear people say to me a lot it’s ok for you though your not terminal. My response is always the same “we are all terminal, it’s just you have a clearer idea of when that will be” 

  
See there are  only two ways to look at your future. You can either be an optimist or a pessimist. An optimist can see good in all situations, but a pessimist expects things to go wrong and expects there to be issues that will hinder their progress. Maybe a pessimist is more of a realist, what do you think. 

Back to the point, anyone that’s had a doctor sit in front of them knows how it feels to have a diagnosis given. I was not One of the lucky ones. Mine was “you have Cancer” very chilling words and they do take some time to get your head round. All sorts of other things went with that, the asking of questions, “what will happen if I don’t have treatment”? “what’s  Chemothearopy“? lots of things I asked like that. 

It’s only looking back that you realise that it was the start of a journey, one with lots of trials but at the same time, one I am glad I went on. Without cancer I would not be writing this blog, I would not have the friends I have. Cancer has given me so much. You see you can gain so much because of your diagnosis, you just have to keep your head up and keep Doing. Life is only a slog if we make it one, yesterday I put a note up.mit was a cactus picture. With the caption “just because your given a cactus it does not mean you have to sit on it” our attitude to desease is the key to a better journey with it. Hang our heads, and walk around like the world owes us a living ,then generally people will not want to help. Put your hand out to help someone up, and help will come to you. That’s the way the world works, a secret of a happy life. I love to discover secrets of life, little gems are always hidden. Only those that look for diamonds find them.

Have a great day.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Fire and the sustaining of life.

Tags

chemotheropy, coal, Fire, given, life, photosynthisis, sunset, sustain

Fire is the giver of life, did you know that the fires that happen naturally in the wild are needed …

Continue reading →

I am blessed to be alive.

Tags

alive, blessed, chemotheropy, courage, determination, fight, life

How are you all today? I know some of you will not be great others like me will be over the moon to be able to open my eyes once again. To have a new day to live, I feel blessed just to have the chance at a new life. Today is my mums birthday, and whilst I won’t see her today I shall on Sunday with the whole family as we share a meal together to celebrate our mum being 70 years old. I may do a blog just for her later but for now I want to talk to you about how wonderful life is.

  
You see we are the ones that have doctors with knowledge, hospitals with people in them passionate about saving lives, they work tirelessly to help us win our battles, there are so many people that dedicate their lives to us getting better. How grateful I am to be awake today, to have a full day ahead of me to enjoy or endure. Today I am going to choose to enjoy not endure. Many times whilst I was having treatment I had fun with the nurses, doctors, cleaners whoever. As far as I was concerned they are all a link in a chain that made it possible for me to get my life back.

I am for sure a blessed man, not a cursed man because I had cancer I was chosen possibly to have it, I do for sure see the world through different eyes, I am more sensitive, more loving and more appreciative of what I do have not what I could have. It was the same when I had cancer, I was appreciative of the the people I had to care for me as opposed to being downtroddon that I even had to go through the journey they call cancer.

  Picture from http://www.thelaughterward.com
When you see life like this, it’s suprising how soon the world around you changes. All because of your attitude to the desease.  Is there really a reason I got it to encourage others on their journey. Was I really chosen to have cancer because cancer needs someone like me to have it? Well I Don’t know the answer to that question, but I do know I am blessed to have today.. As they say in the US of A. 

Have a blessed day.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Considering others… Or not?

Tags

achieve, change, forever, life, poem, selfish, share

So you don’t write? Why? 

Because of what others may think,

You say you won’t like it and don’t try,

Your feelings to not share you think.

.

So by not sharing does it give good,

Or are you hiding something good to share,

Someones life changed because of your words,

Changed for ever because that you shared.

.

Your choice will maybe change ,

Maybe forever make a difference.

But your choice is what matters,

Your in charge of all that is yours.

.

The choice you make to not share,

That could change a life forever.

No matter what do or don’t do.

What you feel will not have changed.

.

Mark Blackwell 19/01/2016
http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

No idea what to write!

Tags

berievment, journey, life, parents, wife, writers block

Never have I been so short of words, 

My dream last night made me wake in tears,

An empty feeling makes me lost for words,

I dreamt my dad had left this world.

.

The realisation, perhaps from God,

That that day will come no matter what,

That our parents are here, but not for long.

The feeling of grief grips me still.

.

I know it’s morbid to tell you this, 

But what I feel stays with me still,

The emotions feelings and fears I have,

Are there still today that’s why I can’t write.

.

We’ve one life, and parents to,

If we have them still then we should smile.

Thank you both for giving me life,

Because of you I met my wife.

.

  
Mark Blackwell  18/01/2016

Caregivers.

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cancer, caregiver, faith, GOD, help, journey, knowledge, life, understanding, universe

A care giver is so much more than the word suggests, caregivers are undervalued by society and not given the credit deserved. Care givers are actually the life that the sufferer needs, the hope and strength for a person to carry on. The job is possibly worse than the suffering in some cases. I can say that having been a carer as well. Helping someone to overcome physical trauma, as well as mental. A carer needs to be sensitive, courageous even knowledgable about the journey  ahead, whilst not overloading the person at the same time. Of course every care giver has to have different jobs, some patients want to know everything, and I mean everything. Whilst for me I needed a long term goal, whilst getting through today. That was always what mattered to me. TODAY…. Just that, knowing what I need to face today.

   
A caregivers emotions are a huge roller coaster, I mean after all they have to see what happens to their loved one as well as feel the fear inside as well as having to put trust in the health service that the doctors looking after their loved one, are doing the best that they can for them.! whilst understanding what the possible side effects of the drugs can be. Caregivers need a distraction, a support network that provide an outlet, where the questions like “How is xxxxx doing” are not included in the time with the person supporting them. Allowing the caregiver to bring it up should they wish. The key to getting through a battle of any kind is something that’s paramount in any struggle I think.

What ever the illness or situation the people find themselves in. The main thing to remember on both sides is ‘communication’ being able to tell each other how you feel. If you can do that, your half way there, the other important thing that breaks some relationships. Is the way the sufferer is, how angry they may become because of the drugs they are on, or the different situations they find them selves in. People change on medication. As if it was not hard enough for them  to deal with the situation in itself the persons personality changes as well. 

Carers are deserved of a high acalaide, for me my carer. “My wife” is responsible for my sustained life along of course with my mum who made me go and get it checked in the first place. But it’s the true care giver that deserves the praise it’s a journey of commitment, sadness and happiness. Freedom and light. I find some religious people choose to pray as opposed to doing something practical. I believe you cannot pray unless you are doing something practical. After all the bible states “Faith without works is dead” but that’s another blog altogether. 

  
If you are a believer or not it’s about what we do in life not what we say that matters. So many say the words, pray the prayers but don’t walk the walk. In other words a care giver, put their money where their mouth is and does. My wife’s mum had her mum live with her and the whole family for 18 years. Andie tells me of lots of happy memories of conversations she had with her nana. Caring for someone does not have to be all bad, but they are the ones that need the standing ovation when it comes to us coming through the other side victorious.

So I say thank you to all of you, that help so many.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB
https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Mostly Blogging: Inspire Me Monday Linky Party #64

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beauty, blog, community, entertainment, fashion, life, love, photography, photos, success, twitter, Writing

Welcome to the Inspire Me Monday Linky Party for January 11, 2016! I hope you had an enjoyable holiday season. Happy New Year! Weekly Wrap Up On Tuesday my guest author wrote  Never Make Grammar Mistakes Again–How to Use Grammarly. It was a tutorial on how to use Grammarly so you never make embarrassing grammar […]

http://dreambigdreamoften.co/2016/01/14/inspire-me-monday-linky-party-64/
Please share this blog and spread the word….

Love yourself.

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Throughout my life there have been many stages, but one lesson I would say is perhaps the hardest, or maybe took the longest. Was to learn to love myself, you see most people blame situations people, ( I was dealt a bad hand)  my friend says it like. The people in the pub that have a woulda coulda story – if only it was not for such and such. Well it’s all a load of rubbish. Absolute BS. Our future is in our hands but unfortunately, if we don’t live ourselves we will find life is so much harder than it would otherwise be should we be happy with who we are. We have to become that person that when the person who is looking back, your content with. I am not saying the full article because no human is ever the ful article in my opinion. We learn until the day we die if always want to improve ourselves. 

  
I personally want to better today than I was yesterday, I think they call it growing. Always learning and always becoming a better you. Let me put it this way, a house needs solid foundations to last. Without solid foundations there will be cracks in the plaster in time, bricks will move and the house will become unstable. Loving yourself is the foundation for everything we build on top of it, a relationship, the ability to live with your whole heart, holding down a good job, respect from others. No one will respect you if you don’t respect yourself.  

  
I found the right person to marry because I had found myself in travelling Australia, yup that’s what it took for me. It was not till I was 36 and a broken marriage behind me that I became truly happy with the reflection in my mirror. Very late in life I would say, but at least I got there in the end. Cancer has honed me, made me a better more rounded person enabling me to see life through the eyes of a disability. The disability being the disabling treatments that my cancer demanded. In your life you will have your own challenges, but what ever happens in your life love the person who you are before you build a life.

Have a great weekend

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB
https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. 

Chemo Brain.

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I read an article today on a site called Had cancer, talking about different ways that we feel sometimes years after having had chemotheropy. Some doctors say it does not exsist, (apparently) I have never had this exsperience with doctors myself but then I am quite a large person both physically and in personality. After reading the article I realised that maybe I could write about the very thing that frustrates me so much. So let me explain how it is for me as a cancer patient that like the person who wrote the article. I had cancer!

So for me when I was having chemo, even my first chemo (mine was very strong) it had to be I was at 4 a and in a bad way. Close to losing my life and riddled with cancer. Remember in previous blogs I have talked about chemo feeling like snakes in your head, it did. Sometimes your head even hurts as you remember stuff, but then your brain is a muscle. It has lots of connections in the brain that need to work in a certain way. Now I am not a doctor, but it makes sense to me that maybe the brain has been affected in a small way by the drugs pumped into my body. I do forget things where I didn’t before. So I have to write things down to remember them. Where as before I really never did I just remembered.

Trust me no cancer patient uses it as an excuse, after all who wants to forget? I look like a Pratt sometimes because I repeat myself, repeat myself. Seriously though it’s embarrassing.

  Picture by Fine acupuncture.com
People that have not had cancer will never understand how it affects a human being. How can they, we must excuse their ignorance in not trying to even understand. I have been insulted, even misjudged by people close to me. I have to realise it’s not something they will understand unless they try to. Walking around pointing the finger at someone suffering does not help anyone.

Chemo brain can last for years so if it’s you, know it’s a possible normal for you. It’s frustrating because people may get annoyed at you, no one will understand unless they have researched what you maybe feeling. It does not mean we have lost our intelligence. It means we have been affected by chemothearopy, our memories may not be up to scratch but it does not mean we are inadequate. Far from it, chemo brain is real. But the fact is that chemo brain is much more frustrating for the person with it than it is for the person communicating with that person. Have a great day and know that your not alone, there are I suspect many that will read this and realise that it’s normal and even feel a bit better about it. Because others feel what they do.

Have a good weekend

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB
https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. 

Do u listen to understand or listen to reply.

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Do you know the differance? Ok well here is my take on it. If your a friend to someone you will listen to understand what they are going through or facing. If you listen to reply, you are more interested in what your opinion is than helping the person to deal with the problem they are telling you about. God, if you believe there is a God ( I do). When he made us made us with 2 ears and one mouth, interesting don’t you think?  Does that not mean we should listen more than we speak, sounds  daft as I write this as I love speaking, but I also love to solution stuff. The only way we can solution is by listening, I love coming up with answers to situations. But hate jigsaws.

For a long time in my life I thought that people wanted to hear my opinion, when in fact the person that really wanted to hear my opinion was Me. I was a selfish person in some ways, even though my motive may have been good the result of my motive was to reply with my opinion. 

  
I have realised that by listening your learning, and when your speaking you are not learning anything at all. It’s a skill to listen and one I am working on everyday, as I endeavour to complete my challenge of blogging everyday for a whole year. 365 days. I am busy learning to as I get feedback from people, people that care, some are surprised that I am nearly 3/4 of the way through and still am doing what I said I would do. I know it’s helping people be use people are telling me and I am listening. Using the skill I am honing to listen to other people to understand as opposed to reply. 

  
Listening to understand not only gives us more knowledge but also it helps us to understand people and their situations. Which I turn gives us experience. The one thing about exsperience is you can’t buy it, you can buy someone to tell us from their exsperience, but if we want to have exsperience we have no choice but to listen and learn from someone else.  Because that’s what listening to understand does. It gives us the exsperience that we can call on in another situation in the future. We may be able to recall what we have learnt and help us in our very own situation. This may mean nothing to you, you may think you know what I am saying and don’t need to hear it. If that’s the case then you will not learn anything.

Have a great Friday,

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB
https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. 

Steve job (his final words)

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This is what one of the richest men ever to become wealthy thought of life. Some of the things I have been saying in my blogs… This writing may not be exact, some think incorrect. I just think the words are perfect and for all mankind!

Steve Jobs’ Last Words –
I reached the pinnacle of success in the business world.

In others’ eyes, my life is an epitome of success.
However, aside from work, I have little joy. In the end, wealth is only a fact of life that I am accustomed to.
At this moment, lying on the sick bed and recalling my whole life, I realize that all the recognition and wealth that I took so much pride in, have paled and become meaningless in the face of impending death.
In the darkness, I look at the green lights from the life supporting machines and hear the humming mechanical sounds, I can feel the breath of god of death drawing closer…
Now I know, when we have accumulated sufficient wealth to last our lifetime, we should pursue other matters that are unrelated to wealth…

Should be something that is more important:
Perhaps relationships, perhaps art, perhaps a dream from younger days …

Non-stop pursuing of wealth will only turn a person into a twisted being, just like me.
God gave us the senses to let us feel the love in everyone’s heart, not the illusions brought about by wealth.
The wealth I have won in my life I cannot bring with me.

What I can bring is only the memories precipitated by love.

That’s the true riches which will follow you, accompany you, giving you strength and light to go on.
Love can travel a thousand miles. Life has no limit. Go where you want to go. Reach the height you want to reach. It is all in your heart and in your hands.

What is the most expensive bed in the world? – “Sick bed” …
You can employ someone to drive the car for you, make money for you but you cannot have someone to bear the sickness for you.

Material things lost can be found. But there is one thing that can never be found when it is lost – “Life”.
When a person goes into the operating room, he will realize that there is one book that he has yet to finish reading – “Book of Healthy Life”.
Whichever stage in life we are at right now, with time, we will face the day when the curtain comes down.
Treasure Love for your family, love for your spouse, love for your friends…
Treat yourself well. Cherish others.
  
Look after each other

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

If it’s meant to be, it WILL be.

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This is a must read, a true story that has touched my heart!
As I walked home one freezing day, I stumbled on a wallet someone had lost in the street. I picked it up and looked inside to find some identification so I could call the owner. But the wallet contained only three dollars and a crumpled letter that looked as if it had been in there for years.
The envelope was worn and the only thing that was legible on it was the return address. I started to open the letter, hoping to find some clue. Then I saw the dateline–1924. The letter had been written almost 60 years ago.
It was written in a beautiful feminine handwriting on powder blue stationery with a little flower in the left-hand corner. It was a “Dear John” letter that told the recipient, whose name appeared to be Michael, that the writer could not see him anymore because her mother forbade it. Even so, she wrote that she would always love him.
It was signed, Hannah.
It was a beautiful letter, but there was no way except for the name Michael, that the owner could be identified. Maybe if I called information, the operator could find a phone listing for the address on the envelope.
“Operator,” I began, “this is an unusual request. I’m trying to find the owner of a wallet that I found. Is there anyway you can tell me if there is a phone number for an address that was on an envelope in the wallet?”
She suggested I speak with her supervisor, who hesitated for a moment then said, “Well, there is a phone listing at that address, but I can’t give you the number.” She said, as a courtesy, she would call that number, explain my story and would ask them if they wanted her to connect me.
I waited a few minutes and then she was back on the line. “I have a party who will speak with you.”
I asked the woman on the other end of the line if she knew anyone by the name of Hannah. She gasped, “Oh! We bought this house from a family who had a daughter named Hannah. But that was 30 years ago!”
“Would you know where that family could be located now?” I asked.
“I remember that Hannah had to place her mother in a nursing home some years ago,” the woman said. “Maybe if you got in touch with them they might be able to track down the daughter.”
She gave me the name of the nursing home and I called the number. They told me the old lady had passed away some years ago but they did have a phone number for where they thought the daughter might be living.
I thanked them and phoned. The woman who answered explained that Hannah herself was now living in a nursing home.
This whole thing was stupid, I thought to myself. Why was I making such a big deal over finding the owner of a wallet that had only three dollars and a letter that was almost 60 years old?
Nevertheless, I called the nursing home in which Hannah was supposed to be living and the man who answered the phone told me, “Yes, Hannah is staying with us.”
Even though it was already 10 p.m., I asked if I could come by to see her. “Well,” he said hesitatingly, “if you want to take a chance, she might be in the day room watching television.”
I thanked him and drove over to the nursing home. The night nurse and a guard greeted me at the door. We went up to the third floor of the large building. In the day room, the nurse introduced me to Hannah.
She was a sweet, silver-haired oldtimer with a warm smile and a twinkle in her eye. I told her about finding the wallet and showed her the letter. The second she saw the powder blue envelope with that little flower on the left, she took a deep breath and said, “Young man, this letter was the last contact I ever had with Michael.”
She looked away for a moment deep in thought and then said softly, “I loved him very much. But I was only 16 at the time and my mother felt I was too young. Oh, he was so handsome. He looked like Sean Connery, the actor.”
“Yes,” she continued. “Michael Goldstein was a wonderful person. If you should find him, tell him I think of him often. And,” she hesitated for a moment, almost biting her lip, “tell him I still love him. You know,” she said smiling as tears began to well up in her eyes, “I never did marry. I guess no one ever matched up to Michael…”
I thanked Hannah and said goodbye. I took the elevator to the first floor and as I stood by the door, the guard there asked, “Was the old lady able to help you?”
I told him she had given me a lead. “At least I have a last name. But I think I’ll let it go for a while. I spent almost the whole day trying to find the owner of this wallet.”
I had taken out the wallet, which was a simple brown leather case with red lacing on the side. When the guard saw it, he said, “Hey, wait a minute! That’s Mr. Goldstein’s wallet. I’d know it anywhere with that bright red lacing. He’s always losing that wallet. I must have found it in the halls at least three times.”
“Who’s Mr. Goldstein?” I asked as my hand began to shake.
“He’s one of the oldtimers on the 8th floor. That’s Mike Goldstein’s wallet for sure. He must have lost it on one of his walks.” I thanked the guard and quickly ran back to the nurse’s office. I told her what the guard had said. We went back to the elevator and got on. I prayed that Mr. Goldstein would be up.
On the eighth floor, the floor nurse said, “I think he’s still in the day room. He likes to read at night. He’s a darling old man.”
We went to the only room that had any lights on and there was a man reading a book. The nurse went over to him and asked if he had lost his wallet. Mr. Goldstein looked up with surprise, put his hand in his back pocket and said, “Oh, it is missing!”
“This kind gentleman found a wallet and we wondered if it could be yours?”
I handed Mr. Goldstein the wallet and the second he saw it, he smiled with relief and said, “Yes, that’s it! It must have dropped out of my pocket this afternoon. I want to give you a reward.”
“No, thank you,” I said. “But I have to tell you something. I read the letter in the hope of finding out who owned the wallet.”
The smile on his face suddenly disappeared. “You read that letter?”
“Not only did I read it, I think I know where Hannah is.”
He suddenly grew pale. “Hannah? You know where she is? How is she? Is she still as pretty as she was? Please, please tell me,” he begged.
“She’s fine…just as pretty as when you knew her.” I said softly.
The old man smiled with anticipation and asked, “Could you tell me where she is? I want to call her tomorrow.” He grabbed my hand and said, “You know something, Mister? I was so in love with that girl that when that letter came, my life literally ended. I never married. I guess I’ve always loved her.”
“Mr. Goldstein,” I said, “Come with me.”
We took the elevator down to the third floor. The hallways were darkened and only one or two little night-lights lit our way to the day room where Hannah was sitting alone watching the television. The nurse walked over to her.
“Hannah,” she said softly, pointing to Michael, who was waiting with me in the doorway. “Do you know this man?”
She adjusted her glasses, looked for a moment, but didn’t say a word. Michael said softly, almost in a whisper, “Hannah, it’s Michael. Do you remember me?”
She gasped, “Michael! I don’t believe it! Michael! It’s you! My Michael!” He walked slowly towards her and they embraced. The nurse and I left with tears streaming down our faces.
“See,” I said. “See how the Good Lord works! If it’s meant to be, it will be.”
About three weeks later I got a call at my office from the nursing home. “Can you break away on Sunday to attend a wedding? Michael and Hannah are going to tie the knot!”
It was a beautiful wedding with all the people at the nursing home dressed up to join in the celebration. Hannah wore a light beige dress and looked beautiful. Michael wore a dark blue suit and stood tall. They made me their best man.
The hospital gave them their own room and if you ever wanted to see a 76-year-old bride and a 79-year-old groom acting like two teenagers, you had to see this couple.
A perfect ending for a love affair that had lasted nearly 60 years.

  

Your past does not define you.

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Who you were you cannot change, but what you become is in your hands. You can be what ever you want to be, do what ever you want to do. You can achieve what ever you want to achieve. It’s believing what you say is true. You see for you to achieve what you want to achieve it means  you first have to believe it’s possible then step out in faith putting one foot in front of the other, and move forward. You see the further you move forwards the dimmer the light of your “what was”  will be. Of course I am meaning for my cancer journey, it’s not something I want or need to remember. The more days I live without cancer, the more I believe it’s possible to have a future with out it.

  
Whilst this blog will be short, it’s just to remind you and me. That because we have had cancer and are in remmission, this does not define us as a person. Even if you are having treatment it does not define you, what defines you is what you do right now. What you choose to become, your not defined by what someone thinks of you, what their opinion is, is not for you to know. What matters is what you want out of this life, if that’s to sit with your head in your hands blaming God knows what as to the reason you have cancer. That’s your choice, and that is what defines you. But I want you to know  that you have the choice everyday to leave that past behind you. The definition of you is in your hands.

You are so much more than you are today. 

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB
https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536
It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. 

13 Destructive Mindsets That Will Stifle Your Growth in 2016

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Re blogged from http://www.fonzandcancer.com 

I want you to be determined and resolute in your mind that 2016 is going to be your Year of Growth.  I want you to visualize in your mind the goals you want to achieve.  I want you to feel the success.   I want you to feel the emotion of being scared.  I want […]

http://dreambigdreamoften.co/2016/01/06/13-destructive-mindsets-that-will-keep-you-from-growing/

The day I died. (What I saw)

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  Today I went to see Roy and Vickie, we talked seamlessly for over 2 hours. It was a really pleasant time, Roy shared with me his cancer story. It was a good time, I was asked the same question as Dave and Anne asked me though. “Do I ever get down” so now I will tell you how I cope with that, how I did cope with that, and hopefully what makes me feel like that. 

It’s hard to know where to start really, because people seem to think I am some kind of infalable  being that just gets on an does it. (Not true) it’s hard for me to talk about being weak, as it’s not in my nature to show that side of me. However the bible talks about when I am weak then he is strong. Don’t get me wrong I am not going to come across all religious on you, but this is how it happened to me. I remember quite distinctly the day that I realised beating cancer was not possible, cancer stories did not exsist then. I know if it had I would most certainly have coped better, I remember watching a movie I think it was called the awakening. Robert de Nero played a part of someone who deteriated badly, I remember how I wept the know the audible crying, feeling like you are out of control. I dropped to my knees that night, I cryed out loud. Please help me if your there, I can’t do this alone. I was not finding it hard fighting cancer, I could no longer do it anymore. It was just a wave of negativity that flooded my being, it would not be the last either. That was just the beginning of digging to the deepest you thought possible,my then having to dig deeper again.
Us humans are stubborn when it comes to losing our lives, or I was anyway. I had found the recipe for the rest of my life, a good wife, a great house. My little sports car, my faith but the one thing that was holding all that together was my health. Even so, no matter how sick I felt I always got up, I remember one day when I did not get up till 5 pm. There being a cold chill in my room, it felt like I was being taken. Dieing, that I was slipping away. I felt like I was being pulled out of a sleeping bag as they tried to take my life. I refused and fought like hell that day, getting up for tea time. I dare not sleep that day and night drinking plenty of fluid, feeling like snakes were in my head. The drugs I was on were pioneering drugs, as I was on a trial for a new drug that I agreed to have put in my body. Eventually over Christmas 2011 I finished my chemo and had the Christmas they said I would not have without the treatment. Apparently I had gotten into remission. No fan fare no party, they were just words that I did not believe. I felt all along it was still there!
I was explaining today how my cancer hid, and although I was supposed to be in remission. I knew the cancer cells were hiding in my bones. I could feel them almost laughing at me. Non of the scans picked it up, as they were rougue cells and scanners only picked up clusters. Everyday I would get up and wonder if today was the day it would show itself. Although I did put faith into practice by buying a Labrador and calling her Faith as that’s what I needed to get into remmission.

  
I remember when it came back again (hard recalling this) coiling up into a ball and  crying my heart out. The consultant had told me I would have to have my bone marrow removed, and have a stem cell transplant. This was to be done in isolation in a tiny room. Excuse my language, but how in the hell could I possibly do that, were they mad! I could see no way. For me it was a step to far, an impossible ask. I ached hopelessly inside, I asked time and time again if there was another option. Non what so ever this was my only hope, no more life for me with out it. It made me shake, I would be physically sick at the thought. 

In everyone of those moments, I made myself read positivity. Quotes from the bible, positive people on Twitter, Google and many other places just positives. Friends, family, everyone was only to speak positively to me. No moaning. When I finally got into the room. That big silverback became a weak hopeless human, put into the hands of medicine. 

The day I became nutrapenic, I felt really strange I left my body and even though I was talking to Andie, I felt like I was actually leaving the planet. I held on tight to Andies hand, I believed it was to early. That what was the point in me being the one who did not make it  surely there was a reason for me having this. As I hovered above myself I remember hearing the words “not yet” I don’t know who said them but it certainly was a comfort to me. The day before that I had been sat by the window shaking violently, imagining myself timing sheets together to escape. The door was always open, I could have left at any time, it was not escape from Alcatraz. That’s what being neutapenic made me feel.

So my friends, all of these things I felt, some I still feel. I know what the guilt feels like, to have made it where others don’t. That’s the only “why me” sentence I have said. Remember this, when you think there is no more to give. There always is, with determination AND FAITH you. “yes you” can do ANYTHING. Don’t give up, because you have friends.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB
https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. 

Thank you Cancer.

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Strange title you think? Really? Well if you think it’s strange you have not seen someone in remission, fight and win or you think cancer has taken loved ones to soon.  You see for me whilst I have fought like hell and won, along the way I have found inspirational people, people that I would not have met had it not been for cancer. Cancer stories has given everyone there the gift of friendship with someone. 

People around the world have been put in touch with each other and are talking to each other about the journey they had, and encouraging another who maybe facing the same journey. A couple of online papers have talked about what we have done, people message me with kindness. Giving encouragement to me to carry on blogging. If I am honest, I am exhausted today, finding it hard to stay awake even. Someone said the other day, cancer is the gift that keeps on giving. I am not sure if that was meant in a negative or positive way. But most certainly our attitude to what we face can help us, or hinder our progress. The daft thing is, by holding our head in our hands does in fact hinder us.

  
It’s only by standing up and choosing to face cancer and all that goes with it, that we find some good in the journey of Hell called cancer. For instance my friends Dave and Anne we would not know had we not been affected by cancer, we would not know those lovely people that are most certainly an asset to our lives most certainly not a hinderance. Anne serves a mean chocolate eclair and not just any eclair either. Only mns in their house.  We have come into contact with many people with great hearts, even gaining a sister along the way. Cancer whilst attempting to take my life has given us gifts, not without looking for the gifts did we find them though. 

The fact of the matter is though that cancer comes with some positivity once we are able to see through the pain that it gave to us, be it death, physical pain, disability, cancer helps us to value what ever we have left, it gives us a new way to look at life. Only being touched by cancer can we see this way of looking at the world. Because without cancer I would not have the sensitivity towards people I have now, and the tanasity to turn away from negativity. Each minute becomes more precious than before and there is no room in it to be wasted around anyone that has an inability to look at the positives that life has to offer.

Enjoy today, it’s a great day.

Fonz 

Things I want to happen in 2016.

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Some may have put, things they don’t want to happen this year, but I prefer to have a positive spin on things. There are lots of things I want to happen but I guess the no 1 I need to put last. The opposite to what you would expect in the hope that you read the whole blog 😆.

So in no particular order apart from my no1 which will be last.

• I Want to be a 34 ” waist I keep kidding myself I am a 36″ but all my jeans are stretching, as I have to breath in to put them on.
• To get out in Trevor more this year.
• To write better than ever before.
• To get 200 followers on my WordPress account.
• To help more people in 2016 than I did in 2015.
• To do the jobs I said I would do in 2015 in 2016.
• To pick up my nephew Zac from school just once in Trevor.
• To fulfil an ambition (I will blog about that when it happens)
• To not voice my disappointments, but accept its not my problem to deal with.
• To put my wife before anyone else ALL year. ( I believe I do that every year) nothing wrong with a bit of consistency.
• To complete my 365 day blog challenge. I have completed 249 so far.
• To get 1000 a day average view ( maybe unattainable ) I am not that good yet.
• To encourage more people in their own blogging experience.

Lastly to remain cancer free! 

  
I do not want cancer in my life at all from now on, but it does take effort to eat well and not binge on anything, like sweet things, pop, chocolate, ect. Eating well takes effort and Percy verance . Staying away from processed foods makes a huge difference to. Some processed foods for example –  farmed salmon have canceragenic   Properties. It’s a huge subject and one I want to learn more about this year.

Have you written down some goals for this year? Thanks to all of you that read and share with out you my blogs would be just read by friends and family. Thank you.

Have a great week, see this Monday as a new start and a new opportunity. NOT the Monday feeling of the holiday is over.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB
https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. 

Tony Heart, gone.

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How many times did I watch Tony heart, he was one of life’s inspirers. He encouraged children to do works of art, I will never forget what you gave us and me Tony. Wow such a loss.. I will not forget you. This happened in 2009 but I love to remember people. I figure by blogging it’s there forever.

  
A BBC link with the details

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7836112.stm

I love to make small tributes to people’s lives that have affected our now. Now morph did not affect it, but he did and has made me laugh many times I wonder what you remember?

Just some reminders of a great British programme.

RIP Tony Hart

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com 

Rejection.

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Did you know this is a kind of bullying, even a form of abuse. Many people reject someone because of the way they look, maybe because they have some kind of desease. During my cancer journey I have been rejected by so many people that do not understand cancer. We have all felt it in our lives, we know what it’s like to not be liked by the kid on the street, or the work colleague that excludes you. I guess people reject anything or anyone that is not the same as them. 

  
I used to get very scared as a young boy, because when I was bullied I would get into trouble at home as well. Because more often than not I would get my coat stolen or bleed on a new shirt. I without doubt suffered rejection allot in my life, especially by the bullies on the bus. I have chosen to show love to all people and smile at and with people, I have chosen a path where I don’t judge everyone I meet, I choose to love everyone I meet. People want to bury their heads in the sand and pretend it’s not happened or happening. Well sorry for those that want a quiet life and for the truth to be unspoken, or just not speak of it. I have many things I wish to speak about, from now on I will, I won’t keep my thoughts under lock and key anymore. The world will know the truth and that truth shall set me free.

  
I have learned how to love, because I have been shown what true love is, it’s consistency, acceptance, and putting the other person first ALWAYS.

It’s 1 Corinthians 13  
1 Corinthians 13New International Version (NIV) While I hope to be some of 1 Corinthians every day, I do know I am not perfect. But do my best every day.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. 

It’s my wife that has taught me what consistency is, what home is. For the first time in my life as an adult I know what home feels like. The time before that I was 4,5,6 yrs old when we lived in Brighton now it’s in southport. I have lived here for nearly 6 years and even though I have fought off the beast called cancer whilst living here. It still feels like home. That feeling when you put the log fire on and settle down with our dog by my side and my wife with me, along with the cat stretched out in front of the fire. My home is not just a place to live, it’s a place where I feel welcome, loved and wanted by all the people that live here. That’s after all my safe place, a place where we don’t hurt each other, a place where we feel warm secure and needed. No feeling of rejection will anyone feel in our home, because our home is a place of safety. 

Rejection in cancer exsists in everyone’s journey I am finding out, it’s sad that people cut other’s off or alienate them because they are not well . It’s not just people with cancer either, it’s people that are misunderstood. People facing a situation that quite frankly the person who does not understand it does not even bother to find out about it. 

If that’s you and you need support there is a group of people that have had similar experiences called cancer stories  

https://www.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536/

You will be welcomed there, people who have had similar exsperiences and can empathise with you. So know your not alone, it’s common place in cancer but there is love and support out there from people that understand what you are feeling and experience. People there have been where you are and will do what we can for you.

Have a good day

Fonz

 

Stats and wordpress! Because of you….

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Wow this week has been amazing! It’s now Saturday my worst day in stats on wordpress is always a Saturday. But yesterday, New Year’s Day. Broke more records than Elton John. I had more likes yesterday than any other day, more followers follow my blog than any other day and my blog had been read by more people than ever before. As you can imagine I was really chuffed, I was chuffed for a couple of reasons. My main reason though was that more people were obviously interested in my writings therefore more people were being encouraged by the hell I had been through. Meaning my consistency in blogging was and is worth it. 

  
 
As you can see from the picture 467 ain’t bad for a new blogger right? Or am I wrong, am I still not doing so good? The feeling is good that I have I mean in the same week there was a day with 967 views I mean that’s nearly a thousand. More than all the pupils that went to my high school! 

  
There are my stats for the week last night. So what’s the point of today’s blog. Well it’s to thank all of you for reading and making New Year’s Day a special day for me in 2016 it’s a great start. So thank you! I was getting dispondent that is until yesterday when I also met another blogger called hugsandblessings she encouraged me and it was then that I realised, you need me like I need you. That you need me to help others read your blog, and I need you for the same reason. I know it’s obvious but it was like a eureka moment. God bless you all. 

Lastly to all of you that are dispondent like I was, seeing my weekly stats dwindle week on week. If you help others by telling others about someone else they will help you out naturally. Have a healthy new year everyone, I am hopefully going to enjoy a cancer free year. Now that’s worth fighting for.

Have a great weekend

Fonz

Natalie Cole Dead.

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It so sad that this has to happen to each and everyone of us, Natalie Cole dieing. Whilst sad, exstemly sad. She has without doubt left behind a legacy encouraged by her dad, Nat King Cole. 

So now it’s time for us to miss you like crazy Natalie. Thanks so much for the legacy you have left, you will never be forgotten.

This lady was part of my childhood, and of so many more around the world. No amount of money can stop the enevitable, it just makes me so much more than ever before want to make a differance in the short life that I have.

Natalie you are truly unforgettable.

  
65 is no age at all, way to young. 

Make the most of your life

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

What’s holding you back.

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achieve, affair, age, animal, attitude, avec, awareness, baby, banned, because, believer, Bellamy, best, birthday, black, blood, bone, BONE MARROW TRANSPLANT, can, cancer, chemotheropy, Christian, Christmas, Christmaseve, Compassion, courage, cricket, cruise, CS, dad, David, dead, death, Depressed, depression, desire, destiny, diagnosis, did, Do, does, Edmonds, encouragement, energy, England, Eve, expect, Experience, facebook, faith, falling, Families, family, floating, foundations, friends, gift, gifts, given, GOD, Good, Goodness, great, greatness, guilt, Hannah, hansolo, happiness, happy, hard, healing, health, help, Hodgkins, hope, hospital, Jewish, jobs, Johnny, know, last day, Leicester, life, lire, live, lived, Liverpool, London, longevity, Lord'sPrayer, love, loved, Low, machine, marks, marrow, MDU, meal, meaning, memories, memory, Monkey, Morris, motivation, mum, muscle, Muslim, neurology, neutrapeenic, new year, Noel, not, of, oncology, one, one day, onedirection, Paddington, Paris, partner, passion, Peace, people, persevere, precious, Presence, R2D2, raise, real, reality, recover, regret, relentless, Remember, rises, Samaritan, SENSATION, Sharing, shortbread, silverback, somebody, southport, Spirituality, square, stage, star, Stemcell, Steve, StevenHawkins, StMichael, stories, strength, struggle, survived, survivor, swopshop, taught, teach, tennis, Thames, thankyou, there, time, today, together, Tohetehr, transplant, Transplanted, travel, tree, true, tvr, twitter, unite, unity, wars, WE, weakness, wealth, wealthy, what, white, who you are, will, win, working, Writing, yang, year, yes, yin, you, yourself

Who has the right to stop you from being who you are, no one. I myself pride myself on being the person that says yes to my wife, the person that encourages her to achieve her goals. That’s why she drives the car she does, that’s why she has the opportunities she does. I have no right to stop her being who she is, no one has the right to stop you either. I read a blog today, in the blog she spoke about. If you want a burger have it, I agree. We only get one chance at this life so be who you are, don’t dress yourself up with all the pretentious shite people seem to want to do these days. I refuse to be in a place where there are people, that expect of me in a certain way. 

What of that? Does that make me selfish, or does that make me an individual. So many people follow each other’s example, mimicking them almost. Why is it then that a Billionaire wants to have something no one in the world has. Well I think it’s because they can afford to. I want to be the person I am from now on, why? Because I have fought for these days and there is nowhere, no place for people to attempt, to Mold me into something I am not. In this life and in this year. Are you going to follow the masses, or are you going to be the person you want to be. 
You see by “fitting in” some people call it, you are effectively pleasing those around you and not yourself. My wife is an individual, I don’t own her I am not her boss. But what I am is someone who encourages her to be the person she feels comfortable with. 

  
The only change you need to make in 2016 is to be TRUE to yourself. Those that want me to fit in are in for a shock because it’s not what I will be doing with my life from now on.  I will be being myself and I will be unconcerned what others opinions are. At the same time being interested to hear what someone’s thoughts on a subject are. Cancer has gone, I am here.

So happy new year, and let’s see the true you.

Enjoy being yourself

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
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It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.