I know what it’s like to eat salty bacon with tears.

Tags

awareness, bone, cancer, faith, Families, friends, Hodgkins, hope, life, love, partner, Peace, strength, survivor, transplant, weakness

I know what it’s like to eat salty bacon with tears.

I don’t know how many of you have just watched “Growing up with cancer” but I just did. Children that had the cancer i did, children that had to grow up with cancer and face things no child should. Well it took me back once again to that room where I had my stem cell transplant.  Kids are so resilient aren’t they, accepting of their situation and able to rationalise things and adapt. They seem to be able to deal with things quickly and efficiently. 

There was a young lad in the wards that became depressed and lost his appetite. He was unable to eat due to how he felt, he was angry and upset although he was uncertain of why he was so unhappy. Being depressed he was certain of. I know I was low and forced my family away from me, which is actually why I am writing this very post.  The family that wanted to be close to me I pushed away.  I did not allow them on the ward even though they could have really. I was so hung up on the word. Isolation. 

I wanted to give myself the best chance at beating cancer and living longer by not being around any germs what so ever. Well I want to put that right right now. Today should my wife’s dad be alive he would be 74. But cancer took him aged 59. I never knew him. But it’s made me realise I was wrong to be that way, that I should apologise to my family and say Sorry. Sorry for keeping you at arms length, and ask that you all forgive me.

Whilst in that room the chemo they give you, is so horrendous that you get hundreds of ulcers all the way through your body. They tell you that you are unable to eat, and that you would be better to have a nose tube to be fed through, and that exercise would be impossible. 

What I did in there I did for my family, I did what I thought I could to come through. I did press ups on the visiting chair that my wife used sometimes. I walked from the bed to the ensuite which was about 5 steps and back whilst having chemo moving all of the time and eating my breakfast not once but twice everyday. Sounds greedy right? Wrong. I would say eating bacon with ulcers in your mouth throat, intestines, all the way through to your bowl is not easy. You cry whilst eating making the bacon taste saltier. But every bite hurts like hell as it goes through your body making you not want to eat. Without doubt the easiest thing to do is to not eat, to choose nothing off the menu to sleep all day and not excercise. To give up. 

All I did in there I did for my family, and want to say sorry for not doing the things you wanted me to. It was wrong of me. 

To anyone that’s facing cancer or supporting anyone with cancer. What seems normal in life without cancer is most certainly not normal in a life during cancer. 

But I leave you with this, to do something is better than doing nothing, even if at the time it may seem like the wrong thing to do, it’s still better to do.
Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. I

Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something tou you it will to someone

 else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.
You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright ©2017

To give Life

Tags

cancer, encouragement, family, friends, GOD, hope, life, love, together, transplant, travel

To give life!!
At the moment we are looking after 3 dogs, although the other 2 are faiths pups you still follow them around guiding them to be good. The warmth they give my heart far out weighs the mist chief I find them making. Take this afternoon.

I am making a bigger pond for my fish of which I have 12 remaining. But that’s due to me not putting a net over the pond and a heron pinching one last night. So I am indoors sorting out cloud print or something on our Epsom printer… (Still no idea) the pups were outside. 

I am not silly, I know they make mischief but hoped they would be good. They normally play in the side garden, ripping up paper and snapping things. Anything is fair game. Take the other day I planted some climbers, only to find the plants half eaten on the grass. I said nothing and ent and got some chicken wire ( the plastic kind) and screwed it either side of the posts so no further intrusions of plants avoiding all dog chrime!!

The next day I came into the garden where I was confident I had sorted the issue to find the same plant uprooted and more besides and the netting ripped off. I looked at Lily Hope our puppy who tilted her head to the side in a (waaaaat) kinda way. Looking to cute to chastise. With a smile on my face… “NAUGHTY PUPPY”. I said. She looked at me satisfied with her dog chrime with a look of one upmanship as she waddled off.  No more has happened since. However. 

We return to the pond build and I had successfully moved all remaining 12 fish into a paddling pool ready for putting into their new home. Tomorrow. Whilst confusing myself with printer clouds and google chrome it appeared the two amigos ( sisters ) have been naughty and removed one of my fish and had decided to play with it on the decking. When I arrived they quickly left the area waddling satisfactorily down the path whilst I decided if I should bin the fish or do my best to revive the poor girl. 

Of course I opted to revive the fish, to my astonishment it now lives. My puppy and our friends puppy no doubt will still be partners in dog chrime, and I will continue to love them, and hope they find me some sort of  leader in the future. But I do rather think it best to enjoy that they are with us, and see their little lives as pleasant unpredictable additions to our family. 

Life is that, and no matter what your pain you can look upon the trials you face however you like. But you do have life which is a gracious gift.
Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. I

Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something tou you it will to someone

 else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.
You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright ©2017

#PuppyWatch

Tags

belief, belonging, childbirth, faith, GOD, hope, IVF, life, love, Puppies, purpose, tvr

#PuppyWatch 

So what’s the most amazing thing in life. I have just said it, its life itself. Judging people makes an unhappy life in my opinion, people like some church goers think that having a religion gives them a reason to judge. The hardest thing I think is to come to a point of acceptance for who someone is. To love them anyway even though you may not agree with another’s method. Well that brings me to answer the question as to why we have chosen to have puppies and not children. 

WE DIDNT.

Someone else chose for us, someone with a pen and paper computer and no logic. Someone that said we should have chosen to have children sooner. That we should have considered my wife’s age and mine and not left it so long. You see, when I first got cancer I was told my sperm would stop working, that maybe I should go and store some should I wish and indeed we wish to have children in the future. I was 41 when I donated and hoped one day that we would have children of our own. So I beat cancer and by the time I had regained some kind of strength I found it had come back and would need a transplant of my stem cells to preserve my life. The worst months of my life. All written about here in this blog. 

Sorry
My life has been consumed with hope that one day I would look face to face at my son or daughter. It was not to be and whilst my wife is fit, and has enough eggs we are being refused IVF unless we pay for it. Of course it’s at appeal and even though I have messaged the BBC and many other people no one seems interested that a system that has made me infertile cannot help us. In true Fonz style though. I have started a new journey, the one of new life through the puppies our Miriacle Faith has created. It’s a blessing in a different way. But still life. More people are being touched by the blessing of life because we fought the Evil of cancer. I don’t know about you, but it fills me with a sense of pride. Happiness that others will benifit because someone ticked the NO box. But I do still hope that someone somewhere hears my story who can help us. I will just keep writing and blessing people.

It’s nearly time for our 6pm #PuppyWatch where people will tune in to see their puppies. What a privalage that is, to know such gifts of life because of something that tried to take my life.

You can be anything you choose to be, but surely doing something is better than doing nothing.

Have a great day

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Ps, I have committed to doing this for 365 days every morning, what I ask of you is that you share these blogs I make on email, facebook twitter, you can affect people by pressing a button. Please do that. I asked ppl to share yesterday 18/05/2015 at 8pm they did and 100 people saw my blogs in 2 hours. It only takes a click or two.

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. I

Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something tou you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

Copyright ©2017

Fighting for love, means it’s not love.

Tags

faith, greatness, help, hope, joy, life, love, passion

It’s funny how a memory can trigger so much of your past. How people act or even a film! We don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day, but we do love each day together, now don’t think we have the perfect Hollywood relation. What we do have is something that many people never find in life.
 My mum and dads look at each other is Valentine’s Day every day for them. Then I think of the sand storms , the snow, the rain, the potholes in the road we have faced and then remember my wife. I say in my mind ” thank you father ” you allowed this part of my life. Some people have stopped visiting, but they dont love us less. They just have a life to live to. 

Love you guys

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Ps, I have committed to doing this for 365 days every morning, what I ask of you is that you share these blogs I make on email, facebook twitter, you can affect people by pressing a button. Please do that. I asked ppl to share yesterday 18/05/2015 at 8pm they did and 100 people saw my blogs in 2 hours. It only takes a click or two.

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them hereby to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something tou you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

Copyright ©2017

What’s extraordinary anyway.

Tags

can, cant, extraordinary, football, gift, help, hope, life, love, SENSATION, success, yes

What’s extraordinary anyway.

I was reminded on a phone call tonight, something very poinient. Something that all to many people do in their lives that stops them from being successful. I am married to a winner, my marriage is to someone who likes to say Yes. Extraordinary people tend to do one thing that makes them just that. Do you know what that is? They help people. Now I am not talking about helping them to get up a hill when they don’t want to. (Energy is wasted pulling donkeys uphill) You see how can you hold another’s hand unless they reach out theirs. People that hold out their hands are either helping or being helped, and what you do will always remain your choice. How you see yourself is who you will be, and who you won’t be also. 

The people in this world that help others in my mind, are the ones that are extraordinary. They are the people that make things happen, they are the ones on the phone helping others. When I started this blog, I hoped that one person would be encouraged to carry on. That one person would find the strength within them to get back up and move forwards once again. For sure cancer has helped me to mature, it’s helped me to see the world in a perspective that maybe I never asked for. Someone sat in front of me and told me I had cancer, and I chose how to respond to that. Cancer or indeed any battle in life, makes you who you are today. Even the word can’t makes you into something.

Some of my posts are very dark, even life itself seemingly impossible at times. Thoughts of giving up, throwing in the towel and times on my knees with tears rolling down my face. But yet all those times made me into the man I am today, the man that wants to hold out his hand and help others in their very own battles. My heart is to help those that want to help themselves. My heart is to stand with those that want to stand and maybe feel they can’t. It’s not a word I use often but I know others do say it. Which kinda brings me to the end of this very short post.

Those that are extraordinary, always move forwards. They find solutions, where others see problems. They say yes where others say can’t. Because of course you are right, if you say you can’t you can’t. Those that give reasons to do rather than excuses not to help people. Choose to say can’t, you are exactly right.

What will you choose?

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them hereby to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant soumething tou you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

Copyright © 2016

My story

Tags

cancer, death, demetia, faith, fumeral, grace, help, hope, life, matters, trump

My names Mark, Fonz to my friends. My story isn’t a A heart wrenching one or anything, it’s just my life. A life I never expected to live. I always had plans to be a dad some day, but with the right girl. The girl that made me quiver, the girl that loved me for me. I was not especially good looking normal I guess, mr average although not in all departments. I always thought I would be a high achiever. Live in an above average house, not that the house was big, just that it would be full of love. One song I can’t forget was ‘feel’ by Robbie Williams. 

I always dreamt of feeling the feeling of love in the home that we live in.  My first marriage was born out of hate, a bomb in Ireland my girlfriend bk than was stood 10 feet from the bomb when it blew. We married and love was born out of a tragic bomb that affects people’s lives today and will forever. Married life failed. Back then I wanted to end the hopes and dreams, I felt as though I should die . Leave you all behind as it were. I decided to travel instead to look for my Mrs right. To have some fun whilst doing it, I drank to forget. When I drank I was numb,numbed by the alcohol. I lived and did things I loved. Went to Sydney on New Year’s Eve, Brisbane at Christmas. Travelled New Zealand. Along the way I turned down life long dreams. Swimming with dolphins, seeing a glacier, many things that I wanted to do with a true love. I did go to an F1 grad prix in Melbourne though and came home soon after. Tears rolled as I flew back to GB.

I moved to Manchester. Where I met some amazing people, but one I met in the most unlikely of places on the most unlikely night. A night out with a friend, a different pub and there she was. Blonde hair, the most amazing smile and sourounded by men. I whispered in her ear ( I will be back when your boy friend is gone) I then flicked her hair into her face.  That was the start of our lives together, the girl I had gone around the world looking for was there. You know, the one that makes your heart melt. The one that’s for you. 

We worked hard, moving into a really little semi detached house after 4 years renting a big terrace. Then losing her mum to cancer so suddenly it shook us both. 4 years later we moved to Preston where we now live. Little did we know what was ahead. 1/4/2011 we moved in June 2011 I was told I would die with out treatment diagnosed with cancer. July I started treatment. They told me I would become infertile so I had to store some boys. Swimmers or sperm to the medical among you. I did, and hoped one day I would be able to use them after the fight to beat cancer. 6 months of treatment, chemo every 2 weeks. We had Christmas together 2011, friends disowned us. Family did not understand. Our fight carried on, until I started to get better, work again, the extension I started when diagnosed was finished. I started to do bits in the garden, help a friend, my energy came back a little and we bought our dog faith. 
Faith was my shadow, a wonderful dog. She still comes with me where ever I go,  and loves her dad like no other. For me she would do anything.

Ah but then I have to say, she licked me on my neck, again and again and barked at me often. She was telling me it’s back, my cancer had come again. A Bone marrow transplant, a tiny room. All the time believing my deposit would be used one day. 18 months ago I had that transplant weak though I still am and not able to work full days, we hoped that IVF would be given to us. My wife was 39 but got to 40 when we had our appointment, we were told we would be able to go ahead to now eventually have a child. A gift from God, although stored by me and saved in the nitrogen bank. 

Then that day, the letter came. No it said, your wife’s to old and you should have tried earlier. You are not able to have children. But not giving up we made an appeal, supported by phycologist doctors and reports. Yet still the answer is no. Is it? 

That’s when we decided to let our beloved faith have pups.

So here we are, that’s where our journey has led us.

Meet our puppies that will get a new home. But also our blonde girl Lilly Hope. Our new blessing.

Rejoice with us.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Ps, I have committed to doing this for 365 days every morning, what I ask of you is that you share these i make on email, facebook twitter, you can affect people by pressing a button. Please do that. I asked ppl to share yesterday 18/05/2015 at 8pm they did and 100 people saw my blogs in 2 hours. It only takes a click or two.

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. I

Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something tou you it will to someone

 else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

Copyright ©2017

Faith.

Tags

9/11, death, faith, forwards, Godly, hope, life, love

Sometimes simple things that happen, help us to come to the realisation of some parts of this life that we live. We all know I have had cancer, we all know how hard I had to fight to complete the tasks that were before me. Never once did I not believe that I would die from cancer. I believed that I would survive, I also believed I would survive for a reason although that reason was not yet apparent. In its entirety at least. There are many times that I have used the word that entitles this blog, many times every day since we gave a home to our baby doggie “Faith”. Many times me and my wife have held hands and looked at each other, with a look of belief whilst masked with the fear and sorrow that was and is still called cancer. 

When ever anyone faces any desease, difficulty, challenge, or life changing situations. There we have to realise, that we have enough Faith to see us through to the other side. Because of course without actions Faith is indeed dead.

Faith for me, apart from our amazing addition to our family. Well it’s something we as a family Mark and Andie, also my further family have had to have to come through the otherside. With my Fathers cancer thrown into the mix. The thing we need most in life, is faith that we will overcome the treacherous road that’s before us.  We have to believe that our God, has a plan for us, believing that even what we are going through has a reason. You see that’s why I started writing, why I started the blog you read and share fonzandcancer. Because I believed that I would survive, I believed that I was allowed to have breath in my lungs because I had faith.
When you have Faith, it’s not the feeling or the belief that makes a differance. Anyone can have faith, it’s only powerful when you WALK by Faith. So simple an action as walking by faith, can make more differance than you know. The effect you can have in another’s life starts with a step, and believing that those steps you make are for a reason. I personally feel it maybe possible that I am to turn another corner. Yet I have to step forwards by faith, not knowing what it is that will be my future in God Faith and Love.

 

What ever you do, make sure it’s something. Every journey you go on, even if it is just to the kitchen starts with a step. For you to achieve anything you first have to move forwards. I read a blog the other day and the person spoke about moving forwards, that it did not matter how far forwards as long as it was just that. You do not know the impact you can have on someone’s life unless you take your own walk by faith.

 

Remember as I hold my wife’s hand and she mine, we have to believe by faith in what we are together. It’s the same with our God isn’t it, it’s the same with what you believe in. You may not see what the effects have in its physical form, but if you are led by faith trust me, things will happen. For me personally, this up and coming week is most proberbly going to need more faith than I have ever had. I have arranged a meeting for people to discuss new possibilities in our local area for young people. I mean who knows it may just be a hand full of people, maybe I will look an idiot. But how will anything be achieved if I don’t step forwards and do something. Surely doing something is better than doing absolutely nothing.

So I want to end this post by sugesting this to you. That your life is for a reason, and if you believe that by Faith, and move forwards in faith. Believing that. Because only by believing that and then moving forwards can you make a differance. If you do that, you WILL make a differance. Your life is for a reason and all you have to do is step out in faith.

The question is
“Will you”?

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories.

Copyright © 2016

Sunshine and Bees.

Tags

business, cancer, chemotheropy, desease, garage, hope, life, police, scanner, treatment

Do you ever just stop, look and listen to the natural world. Listen to the bees buzzing, watch the birds communicating as they sing their chorus. Appreciate the smell of the flowers in the garden, gaze in wonder at all that has been created. I often look out of our window at the birds feeding at the bird station. My wife always buys thes coconut shells filled with fat that the birds love. But then today I was wondering why I appreciated the small things so much, why I appreciated the smells and the world of nature. How I had become so grateful for my surroundings. Well I guess the answer to that is simple, and obvious.

I know what it’s like to be unable to smell the flowers, to watch the bees. I know what it’s like not to be able to here the birds. It was only 3 weeks where I experienced life unable to hear the birds  the bees and the wind russling between the leaves. To be unable to smell the sweet fragrance of flowers in my garden. I was not even able to feel the sunshine on my face such was the reality of the small room I was cooped up in. But you know what, I am grateful I have had that experience in that room isolated from the world. With my I pad my wife (during the day) and the days on fan that kept me cool at night times. Because I can hear the birds today, I can smell the flowers today, I can hear the birds chatting in the morning.

Life is without doubt a precious gift, one that we never truly appreciate until we are not able to experience life with all of its senses. Is then life not a gift to you to me, to all the creatures that roam the earth. Are we not all fortunate and blessed that we have air to breath and eyes to see. I have found myself not being bothered about what is going on in someone else’s world, found myself becoming a curtious driver. I have found giving gives me a great deal of pleasure, where as before it was what I wanted that as most important. 

Right now there is a valeter disrupting all this tranquility with his loud jet washer. But hey, it seems to make no differance to the birds. They still sing, they are still playing in the trees, and seem happy to be alive. The point is, the birds and the bees don’t care what we do, they just carry on enjoying what they can. Accepting the world they live in for what it is, take a moment to pause today and admire the world that’s all around us. Take a moment to appreciate what you do have rather than what you don’t have. After all, what we have today is a gift. A gift to be enjoyed appreciated and cherished. But will you? Do you? A year ago today I had no option but to continue life with out the enjoying senses that I have been given. One thing I did do though, because I was able to. That was to encourage my fellow man to keep on keeping on, what ever that path maybe. Blogging 365 times in as many days. 

I hope you find time to enjoy what is all around you today, enjoy what you do have.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

Are you a blessing to the world?

Tags

Belive, chemotheropy, depression, faith, gift, give, goals, hope, life, love, today

It’s a funny old life, sometimes I am in awe of what this life has given me, other times I find my mortal self complaining of what is after all. Insignificant. Again my dear dear friend Rob shows me something on a day where I needed to be reminded. Reminded that it’s up to us what we look for in this world, I have learnt so much in this past year, and one of the most important things I have learnt is that the moment you are in right now, what you see right now. Will only ever be that way today. I have said many times, in life there is only one day. Today. That is the only gift we are given. Today. 

I will share the link my friend shared with me, I was told today that it’s ridiculous that dogs see oras or even that they may exsist. I am sure that the bible speaks of a light, the light that shines though Jesus. Would that not be conceived as an ora? Well I just know that animals love me, I know that it’s about seeing the good in life and seeing you glass half full, not half empty. Today is a sad day for my family as my dads cousin died. RIP Bill. He was my second cousin, Bill was a nice man a man that was concidered and gentle and kind. I am sure in his life he reflected often on times that were of true whole hearted enjoyment. Bill was a man that loved what he was able to see and accepted what that was. Content I would say, my heart and prayers go out to Bill tonight and Val his wife and the family as a whole. It’s so sad to see a life end, yet for me I see it as an opportunity to reflect and appreciate what was.

  
I won’t pretend to know Bill well because I didn’t. That opertunity is now past, but I will always remember with fondness sharing time with Bill and Val on our cruise around the Mediterranean. I pray Bills family are comforted at this sad time, but are also able to laugh and enjoy the memories they shared with Bill.

You see life’s hard, or it can just be a moment in the universe connected to all the other moments that everyone else is enjoying. Because if you can read this, you have a life and have been given the most precious gift of all. Life today, treasure what you have and also (as my friend would say) what you don’t have also. Because for me NOT having cancer and having a today is but one of the greatest gifts of all. You know I was able to drive to my mum and dads today, I hugged my dad till a tear rolled down my cheek. Why because today, my dad lost his cousin and he needed his son. So I hope I was a blessing  to my mum and my dad today. As I hope you used the life you have today to be a blessing somewhere. Here is the link Rob my dear friend shared with me and I share with you today. It’s not to late to be a blessing.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

50 shades of grey? Only one shade of love…

Tags

business, Good, google, hope, life, love, loving, of grey, passion

When I was dating, I found 50 shades of grey. I found more than that, I found so many shades. But why do people think that sex is a shade and maybe even the main shade. Let me suggest to you that, what you think sex is. Is actually only a part of a shade of a possible shade of life. You see love only has one shade, it has one meaning. The world would have us believe that there is so many more ways to love using our sexual being. Yet it’s only skin deep. Here is a thought that’s as deep maybe deeper than you have thought.

If there are 50 shades of grey and it’s made up of black and white, is grey a colour. Because black and white are not colours so where did grey come from? Let’s assume me and you are doing our best to find out what love is. That maybe a walk on the beach, a kiss, or a cuddle is what we deem as love. 

  
For me, when I got married I did not take one aspect of life and love that as my life. I did not perceive life as being glued by one in particular thing that I liked. My love for my wife and hers for me is about 2 letters US. It’s about us, it’s about freedom for us both, allowing or rather wanting each other to have and be the best we can be on all levels. It’s not about being a great lover, a great cook, a great person. It’s about one thing. Balance. Balance in OUR lives that we live TOGETHER. Marriage is about together. And loving being together and working at being together knowing that we are both pulling together in the same direction. Stop being hung up on one singular aspect of a relationship. 
There is only one shade of love. Guess what, that one aspect,  is called love. That right there is how you use something that is supposed to make life distructive, constructive. You can be what ever you want to be if only you understand that life together has only one shade and that’s called loving each other. Just love who you are with today, give what you have, don’t hide what you could have given. That is not selfless. A relationship is about being together and working together. When you do that, things happen. The things that do happen matter to.

Just saying.

Fonz