50 shades of grey? Only one shade of love…

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business, Good, google, hope, life, love, loving, of grey, passion

When I was dating, I found 50 shades of grey. I found more than that, I found so many shades. But why do people think that sex is a shade and maybe even the main shade. Let me suggest to you that, what you think sex is. Is actually only a part of a shade of a possible shade of life. You see love only has one shade, it has one meaning. The world would have us believe that there is so many more ways to love using our sexual being. Yet it’s only skin deep. Here is a thought that’s as deep maybe deeper than you have thought.

If there are 50 shades of grey and it’s made up of black and white, is grey a colour. Because black and white are not colours so where did grey come from? Let’s assume me and you are doing our best to find out what love is. That maybe a walk on the beach, a kiss, or a cuddle is what we deem as love. 

  
For me, when I got married I did not take one aspect of life and love that as my life. I did not perceive life as being glued by one in particular thing that I liked. My love for my wife and hers for me is about 2 letters US. It’s about us, it’s about freedom for us both, allowing or rather wanting each other to have and be the best we can be on all levels. It’s not about being a great lover, a great cook, a great person. It’s about one thing. Balance. Balance in OUR lives that we live TOGETHER. Marriage is about together. And loving being together and working at being together knowing that we are both pulling together in the same direction. Stop being hung up on one singular aspect of a relationship. 
There is only one shade of love. Guess what, that one aspect,  is called love. That right there is how you use something that is supposed to make life distructive, constructive. You can be what ever you want to be if only you understand that life together has only one shade and that’s called loving each other. Just love who you are with today, give what you have, don’t hide what you could have given. That is not selfless. A relationship is about being together and working together. When you do that, things happen. The things that do happen matter to.

Just saying.

Fonz

Giving to others, helps us to grow.

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business, encouragement, faith, growing, hope, love, loving

This world seems to be full of sentences like, how much? Everything seems to have a price. I guess even life has a price, it’s just what I have had to give cost nothing, yet was everything of me that was required to regain my life. Every tiny bit of my strength was required to live. So what was the point in me surviving and living a life if I am not able to use it to help others to gain their strength also. My life from now on has to be dedicated to others, encouraging others that they may not only grow, but find it within themselves the ability that was always there, to be able to overcome what they face. Maybe even what you face.

I used to go into the hospital and have my treatment and leave when I fought cancer the first time. I was deceived in that by giving to other people was going to take away the very strength I needed to fight my fight. Yet when I went in for my transplant I started to reach out to other suffers to encourage them, maybe even inspire them to continue the fight they faced. I never wanted anything in return, but what I found is that, everyday somebody encouraged me as a result of me reaching out and putting myself out there so to speak. As a friend said to me today “you don’t know what’s inside something, unless you look” 

  
So yesterday, although I had had a clear scan and blood tests. I was concerned that I would not get a negative blood result as my blood had not been tested for 15 weeks. I can’t tell you how pleased I was, because I will not have to have a test again now till August next year, effectively. I now have my life back… It’s amazing to be able to say. Whilst I was waiting for them to take my blood yesterday, I asked the staff nurse if I could take drinks to people that were being treated. They let me, so I ended up in the privalaged position to be able to have conversations with other people that were having various treatments for all sorts of problems. Many people were sat in the very seats where I used to sit having the horrendous drugs put into my body.

I felt emotional doing it, because at that time I did not know if I would be back in those seats myself until my blood results came later that day. Doing those things I believe helped me to grow and energised me, it lifted my spirits that I was able to do. Because I had been sat in those seats and had my treatments I was able to grow.
Your gift to help another will come back to you in some way I am sure of it. Give what you can if you are able. Nothing you do for others is wasted, somewhere  you will find your blessing because you gave with a free spirit. I find it amazing that I can think about giving everyday and not have to worry about the bump in the road that was cancer. I can now move 

  

forwards by faith believing it will not return. Also giving words of life and encouragement to those I meet along the way. I had hoped for 200 followers by the end of 2016 I got my 500 award today. So there must be something good happening out there. 

When you give, it’s not of yourself. Giving gives you strength in your own life, to carry on.

Have a great weekend

– Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

DO OR DO NOT, THERE IS NO TRY.

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cancer, Cancerstories, forever, life, live, living, love, loving, memories, starwars, yoda

Do or do not, there is no try.

One of the things you can’t do, yes I know I said the word I don’t use. But how can someone try, how can a person say for instance “I will TRY to beat cancer” how can any person try to do anything. What does try mean. For me it’s DO or DO NOT. Don’t play at life, it’s a life to enjoy not endure, although I do realise that we all have to endure things in life if we are to achieve anything. Success is in achievement, not trying. I don’t even think the word should exsist.

  
Take this example, when I had the conversation with Benny it went like this. ” Do you think I should have the bone marrow transplant Benny” ? You have to realise we have the same mentality, the same ethos the same will and drive to succeed. If we put our minds to anything we do, we don’t try. We believe in our capabilities, and if we don’t know the answer we ask or find out what the answer is and make it happen.

  
His response was to say this “Mark I want you around for a long time we have allot more fun to have yet” how true, but maybe he will never know how much strength he gave me by saying that. how amazing that we can do what ever it is we want to do, we just have to be unwaivered in our quest. Be diligent and determined to make something happen. It boils down to people deciding to be assertive or wishy washy. Those that know me know, I don’t do wishy washy. It’s not how things get done, it’s not how I can make anything happen.

  
I did what I did (beating cancer twice) because I focused on the end result and believed I could DO. I focused on doing not trying, I also did it for the people that wanted me to beat it, my wife of course was at the top of that list as was family. I believe everyone is capable of being the winner. I believe it’s in Us all, but we must never say try only do or do not. There is no grey area in my head anyway.
What do you think?
Have a great day
Mark 
http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.

Respect for life.

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change, food, fruit, gift, hope, life, living, love, loving, nature, Plants, remedy

As you get older, you realise how valuable life is. Yet as young people we don’t realise the value what so ever. Well I didn’t anyway. People always said to me, “eat your veg” I never did much proberbly a contribution to my cancer. 10 years ago I made no consideration to my welfare, I was not afraid of much and just did. I gave it all or nothing there was no in between. I guess I am still a little like it now, although I would prefer it if I would be more considered. 

  
Having fought for a life you learn what you need to do to preserve it, and quite obviously I do need to more careful now than ever before. When I was in Turkey feeling ill, I felt like a seal stranded on a piece of ice surrounded by killer whales. I got really scared, insecure, and sad. Because I knew I would have to go home and leave my friends. It’s a consequence of a vicious fight, that I won. The hardest fight anyone will face is to beat illness and maintain your health. It’s worth it though. As someone on Our Cancer Stories group said today, read read read. We are uneducated with regards to preventing our bodies from malfunction. 

  
If we educate ourselves surely we will higher our chances of beating disease. Trouble is you more seseptable to stuff when you have had chemo! your immune system is compromised and your much more likely to catch something else. It seems to me that plants heal you, yea I know I am sounding all hippi but I think there is some mileage in it. The fact that I came back from Turkey with a cold and it has nearly gone says allot to me. 3 days of eating greens and fruit and the lemon tonic prescribed by nurse Andie. I am starting to feel lots better and feel confident that we will be able to do and go where we need to in the next couple of weeks. 

  
For me a party is awesome, I love it. But not one that compromises a already compromised immune system.thats how I think now, it’s a change. But really there is only one word that’s changed for me, that is respect for myself. Respect for my family, and friends that I won’t put myself in a compromising situation that will make me ill again. Life is to important, it’s not a game it’s a privalage to be here. I am educating myself, helping myself to understand what things do my body good. Surely what ever is growing in the ground has the answers to restoration to our bodies. That plants have enzymes in them that would float around our blood fighting off illness. Combined with everything in moderation, we give ourselves longevity. Let me tell you, longevity is what I am looking for now. Ways to sustain me longer and help others do the same.

  
You are precious, but only you can treat you right. It’s up to you what you put in your body, I have replaced doughnuts with an interesting salad. Made from rocket leaves, sweet chilli peppers, chopped cheese, tomatoes, crayfish tails, and a bit of balsamic vinegar. Gotta be better for me as a snack, I am losing weight in the last 3 days I am not trying but cutting out bread has helped as well. It’s our choice how we treat ourselves and it’s never to late to change our habits to give us a better chance is there. 

  
Have a great week.

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.

love

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belief, bible, concern, consideration, dogs, emothion, faith, fiendships, friendship, giving, insight, living, love, loved, lover, loving, quality, religeon, warm

I am writing a book, it’s been on the go for sometime. Unfortunately I keep making excuses not to pick it up again and really get stuck in. Not something I want to be doing in here anyway really. I am here to heal and beat Cancer. Today I am going to talk with about love made perfect. What perfect love is and how some of us aim for that goal and some just give up on it.

What does love mean to me? Love is unconditional, it just gives. It does not count how much something  costs, rather gives you overwealming joy to give love to someone everyday.

We have a dog she’s called faith

She is 1 of the rare pink nosed beasts. My brother also has a dog named coco Chanel, I call her hippo as she is allowed to gobble anything in her walk, after eight mints, cat food, treats often. Then we have this fine beast you see before you, well trained. Obedient and ball focused, she loves other dogs and does not try to dominate other dogs rather just love them. I think coco loves faith but not in quite the way that faith loves coco.

The love I am trying to exsplain though is nothing Like what coco thinks is love towards her cousin faith. These are 2 girls and coco has not realised that putting herself on faith is the right way, although it’s her way. Both girls need to be loved and are loved. Both are unconditional. Just I am not so sure both parties feel appreciative of the method. We all in life have different ways to show how we care. Show how we love.

“Love cures people,both the ones who give it, and the ones who receive it” Dr Karl Menninger

It’s clearly exsplained to us what love is in 1 Corinthians 13 of the bible (basic instruction before leaving earth) my friend Jimmy, sends me everyday some words of encouragement. He does not want anything in return. He gives freely his words as a gift from him to me. Which everyday has a knock on effect, and encourages me to write here blogs everyday.

As a Cancer suffer for some 7 years I have learned that we ( the sufferer ) can use this Cancer to benefit and encourage others. We are after all people on the same rd. the hardest people to love though are the ones that don’t see eye to eye with us. Love them anyway, try not to judge them. Just love them anyway. Don’t speak of it, bring them a coffee in the office every morning. Surprise them by being nice. I am always saying to my wife “it’s nice to be nice” be nice to that guy and love them without condition. The bible speaks of a statement that I follow.

  
 “You reap what you sow” I sow allot but reap sometimes. Cancer does not have to be a curse we can use it to bless others. In the heamatology ward at southport they have a drinks machine. When I go in for bloods ect I always go and speak to every person on the MDU and ask them if they need a coffee or tea. We Engadge in chatter if they like to. But no matter what happens I just love to see the smiles as my own heart gets warmed as well by doing such a menial thing. Finally perfect love CASTS out all fear. This is called agape. Google it and see for yourself.

I hope you have had a smile whilst reading this today, if you enjoyed it. Why not mail it to your friends to have a read. No one has passed my blogs on by mail as far as I am aware but I would appreciate it. Let’s make a domino effect of loving people today.

You in?

Mark