A death sentence.

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blog, books, c, cancer, chemotheropy, health, hope, Laughter, love, me, post, radiotheropy

Is that that what cancer is? A death sentence we didn’t choose? A journey we didn’t choose. A part of our life we never even thought would be part of our lives. Before you read this blog I want you to know, that people that face cancer in what ever form be it as a patient, partner,  family, carer, or friend. I want you to know these people are amongst the most courageous in the world. All cancers are different and how ever we decide to deal with it rest assured the journey is one through Hell. 

Today I found myself in the presence of someone amazing, someone who has fought the fight like I have and are. He is an inspiration and a seriously generous person with his time. Today I left hospital one year ago, the same hospital the man I speak of left 2 years ago after his bone marrow transplant. Yet we find ourselves together errecting a conservatory. Part of that day involved standing on a trellis on tip toes for a while with my arms in the air holding the cross beam in place. It was 10 mins before my next pain killers. What you don’t know is walking is tough, never mind standings or a period of time. The pain as I stood began yo surpass the pain that was normal and bearable, and I found myself feeling so very sore and horrific pain in my legs.

There I was with my friend who I knew was one of the few people on the earth that understood my pain, one of the few people that understood what I felt inside. Understood the actual pain I felt. Here tonight remembering what’s happened today and what we have achieved. I don’t feel sorry I cried, I feel amazed I have a brother who knows and understands what I face and what I have been through and what appreciation I have for life. Holding that bar up feeling the pain I felt made me cry, it made me feel useless whilst being useful. We did something today that was hard to do. Maybe some would see as impossible. For me and my friend we believe in the impossible made possible.

Sometimes the only thing standing in the way is ourselves, and maybe we just need to fight through the pain and get to the otherside. The side where there are people that have life because they fought, people that have overcome grief in loving the very people that do have life and are living today. 

Maybe you feel today is impossible, well let me tell you that it’s amazing what you can achieve if you keep on keeping on. Did you know impossible means the opposite to what you think. See  you are possible, it’s just the I’m in the way of possible isn’t it. Try and find something you enjoy in this life, it’s there if you look for it. I know one thing . 

I have gained many friends through cancer. Keep on keeping on your one of lives courageous people and you CAN.

Fonz

Forgiven.

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cancer, deserve, forgiven, forgiveness, lovehope, me, time, you, yourself

Well I don’t know about you, but I feel great when someone forgives me. We all make mistakes, say the wrong thing, take things to heart or misjudge a situation. Have you ever thought about yourself, have you ever thought that it may be yourself you need to forgive. Well the mistakes you have made may just have affected your own life, other people you have forgiven they have forgiven you so why have you not forgiven you?

  

You may not have even considered it important, but let me tell you. You are THE most important person in your life. Your mental health is so very important. Putting yourself in situations that are unhealthy for you. eg around negative people. You don’t do that do you. If you do it’s time to start looking after you, forgiving yourself for not looking after you and making some changes in your life. Making a differance that means you are looking out for you, making sure you are well so you can do good in the world.

I started a group over a year ago, a group that helps people to support each other, people that have and are being affected by cancer. A friend said to me “Dont forget to give yourself time” someone else said it to me today. It’s true, that we all need to make time for ourselves, acknowledge we are not perfect and forgive ourselves for neglecting ourselves, and not being the strong person we should be because we have worn ourselves out. That’s why we all help each other out, there are people that will look after CS in my absence and help lighten the load. 

  
The bottom line is. Giving is admirable, as long as you give time to yourself. Time for yourself and time to forgive yourself. Because how ever important others are to you, with out you they can’t be helped by you.

– Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

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Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

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Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

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