Are you afraid to die?

Tags

britishgas, cancer, chronic, efl, energy, hacksaw, pain, survived

Are you afraid to die?

Well asking myself that question, I was but not now. You see my first post in this blog was “I am Mark a cancer fighter, and I WILL win” many have forgotten that was said. One thing I know is that we ALL WILL die. Now for me personally, having been hit with that 500lb yellow fin Tuna right in the face. Yea I have heard it, and then fought it and won. Now whilst that was the toughest time of our lives together. I can tell you now, that people that remind me of the bad parts of me. Well, they just don’t get my time now, those people that don’t like me for me. God loves me just the way I am, but to much to let me stay that way.

You can be if you say you are. It’s been said by me. “You want to know the substance of man, look at his friends”  I am a fortunate man, that I have friends that are the family I choose. People that care about me and us, people that love us. People that focus on what they can do with us, rather than find fault in us. For is it not true that “All have fallen short of the Glory of God.” Without exception. 

This is one of my favourite tunes, and while we don’t know where our world or steps will take us. One thing is certain. That is that from having our first breath means that we will breath our last. As I sat with my wife tonight watching the film ‘miracle’ we were holding hands and I looked around and thanked God for the miracle of life. For sustaining my life and for what he has given me, not what we are left without. Yesterday I spoke how we turned an IVF decision into a positive, and whilst we may never have children because of someone’s power. We will always have today, each other and all we have achieved together. 

It is for sure better to do something than to do nothing. Yes of course it’s also true that if someone says ‘no pain no gain’ then they do not know chronic pain. We have and have not. There are reactions and reactions. All the ones you choose are yours, and are so powerful the choices and actions and no actions we choose in our lives will have a consequence or an impact in this world we live in. That’s why your reading this, because if you did not you would not know what’s written here. You did read this, which will cause your next reaction. Your more amazing than you will ever know, and you will have an impact on the world if you allow it.

That’s up to you isn’t it.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Ps, I have committed to doing this for 365 days every morning, what I ask of you is that you share these blogs I make on email, facebook twitter, you can affect people by pressing a button. Please do that. I asked ppl to share yesterday 18/05/2015 at 8pm they did and 100 people saw my blogs in 2 hours. It only takes a click or two.

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Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. I

Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something tou you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

Copyright ©2017

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My TVR and me.

Tags

brain, classic, health, nerve, neuropathic, nootropics, pain, tvr, wealth

MY TVR AND ME.

When I bought my TVR, was when someone said I may have cancer and that my life would be compromised because of if. I laugh because I felt fine, no pain what so ever. Just this growing lump in my neck that had gone misdiagnosed for so long. When I first drove my new car and went over the first bump. I realised it was going to need some work, rear shocks were desperately needed and many other jobs were required also. Little did I realise that me and Trev. I call him that because Trevor was the guy that invented TVR. Every car is different, not one curve is the same. There are even some funny stories about how the Chimaea shape, mine became the shape it was. It’s reported that whilst in clay, being shaped by the designer who had his dog with him one day took a chunk out of the bumper next to the indicator. That’s why all Chimareas have two curves next to the indicators. Which are themselves from a Sherman tank. 

I didn’t realise just how similar our journeys were going to be, mine and Trevor’s. Whilst in hospital having my transplant, my friend took the interior out for me and another friend took the interior and sprayed it. Bringing it back to new. This happened whilst I was undergoing my transplant. 

I looked like this.

And Trevor looked like this.

At the same time we were both getting a new beginning, becoming renewed. The only difference between me and the people working on my car. Was that I had a chance of not making it, I know I did and am also getting stronger even though pain is so hard to deal with. I am here to write these blogs. I was encouraged today by another TVR owner that my posts to my blog were inspiring. It gave me a sense of achievement that because of cancer I owned a TVR and because of that connection she got to read my blog. It’s kinda time to thank cancer again isn’t it.  Cancer maybe cruel and things may perish and need repair. But we are far more fragile than any piece of machinery. Whilst we are living longer and medicine is helping to sustain life. Machines are able to be fixed forever should the owner wish for that to happen. 

Everything I put on my car is the best, Bilstien shocks. Updated engine, powder coated struts. It’s all been done right, of course at a cost. But no cost is greater than to put your life on the line is it. Unless you have a passion for something, even if that’s your faith. You will not understand what I am saying. Your are delicate, controlled by a few degrees in temperature higher or lower than should be, your life will cease. It’s the same with my car, except my car is nuts and bolts to most. To me my car is so much more.

You see, a brain is only able to do so much at the same time. Whilst a person is being distracted, a person does not feel the pain. Oh it’s there alright, but your brain is distracted from it. Yesterday I managed to make it to pain clinic, someone had brought in his Samsung VR. You have seen the advert that the Dad records the concert so his daughter can see what he saw.  People that used the VR whilst using it were distracted from their pain. It was still there but the brain was not sending the signal, because to many other things were going on that the brain was otherwise engage. That’s what my TVR does for me, it distracts me from the real world. The world and its treatments have damaged me forever. But driving my car helps me to be distracted from what I am feeling inside. If I try to remember how much pain I was in when driving and I can never remember any at all. Of course I am not saying everyone needs to go out and buy a TVR, or VR system to enable a pain free period. But what I am saying is that, a distraction can help . Only you know what you love, only you know what’s great for you. But what ever you do, make sure you do something that distracts you from the real world. Here are some pics of what my car looks like now and how I look today.

And me.



I guess it’s up to us to do again, or do nothing. For sure when we do nothing it will be more painful, because our brains are not stimulated. So there you go my blog inspired by a TVR called Kate, one called Trevor. Not forgetting Julie.

Let me know if you got something out of this blog.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them hereby to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something tou you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

Copyright ©2017

Pain, and Christmas.

Tags

cancer, christians, Christmas, Eve, faith, help, holidays, hope, love, pain

Pain, and Christmas

I guess this should be a merry Christmas post, or happy something or other if your religion is that of those that consider Christianity and Christmas non exsistant or offensive. Good news it’s not, it’s about pain. It’s about the people that never asked for pain, they never did a stunt and broke a leg, or tried to commit suicide. Although some have, but that’s another blog. This is about people that are not able to escape from their demon PAIN!

Pain really  screws up your day, makes things that seem simple to others impossible once it takes hold. You do your best to be as normal as possible. Yet no matter what you do outwardly it never disappears. Only those that know pain know what I mean. You wake up with it and go to bed with it. It never dissapears. It’s not like a pin prick, or a broken limb, it chips away at you never ever resting. Until you have had enough and it does not matter that it’s the time of year, or the love you are supposed to feel. It’s just about doing the best you can. You smile so others feel good. I mean, no one is ever interested in what’s going on with you really are they “Snap out of it” “smile ” they say. 

Well I just want to say, sometimes words that I never normally want to say. F…K Y.U have a little understanding by putting yourself where they are. But you can’t can you? because you don’t understand. Please don’t glance over what a pain suffer feels, what we feel is as important as a child. Only we don’t get to take our pain away for the evening, to have a meal without it. We just have it, and nothing we do will enable us to escape. We are trapped by a consuming fire, chemo can cause permanent damage. I have that, it grinds you down and you feel useless, and extremely worthless. Yea some people say ” great life you don’t have to work ” I laugh. Because I do work in lots of ways. Just do no matter what is my advice. But above all else, be honest. If the person speaks about themselves in response. Well you know, and I know they are trying to understand. It’s not their fault really. Give those that don’t understand a prayer this Christmas. Of course pray for al, those in pain this Christmas, they really do matter. 

Bless you all

Fonz

Merry Christmas

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something tou you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

Copyright © 2016

A Fallen Tree.

Tags

athiest, belief, cancer, chemotheropy, faith, health, hope, operation, pain, paralypian, surgery

In life we have many things to deal with, many we don’t know what they entail, or what the outcome will be. My day has been consumed today, consumed with hurt for another an a family. Consumed with what has been, what will be and what could be. 2 of my cancer friends face surgery this week, and I have prayed virtually all day for them and their families. So I want to try to encourage anyone facing journeys like theirs in the future. I may need you to think about pressing the share button on this one.

I will attempt to tell my story today through pictures.

The two pictures above signify what is ahead. That we can see what is there, yet it’s still uncertain, no one knows who or what’s behind any of those trees. Yet you and I would walk there if we could, we would believe by faith that we would be ok when you hot to the end of the path, turning the corner and believing you will be ok when you get to the next corner as well. If your an atheist, or a believer. You have to have faith, it’s impossible to walk without faith. You have faith in a chair when you sit on it. Belief your legs will hold you when you walk.  We all have faith everyday without even thinking about it. It’s only when something happens to us do we start to appreciate what life truly is. As I watched my dog “Faith” enjoying her walk I asked God to show me something, to show me possibly something that would help me write this blog. This is what he showed me.

 

A fallen tree.

When I talk to God, the voice I hear with in me that some people call conscience. I began to understand that the fallen tree still had life, although it had hit the ground it still had life. It had taken one hell of a fall, some of its branches were broken and was quite obviously different to when it had been stood upright, yet it was still alive. It got me thinking that even a tree with no soul could adopt a new way of living. Just like us who have had a life changing experience.

I began taking pictures of my surroundings, the sign

All those paths were ahead of me yet I would only choose one. There was the tunnel, that could not be seen through from some angles.

Yet wether I could see through it or not, did not change what was or was not in that tunnel. The tunnel was always going to be the same if I could see through it or not. I have had to learn to stop punishing myself for the life I have lived, rather to change the life I will live. Whist cancer has struck me down like the tree, I still live a life. I can still breath like the tree can. The life that I have fought for was always going to be this bad, the pain I feel was always going to be this way. Only to get to enjoy what I have now I had to put faith in what was in front of me, the surgeons, the nurses, the chemo, the treatments, the phycological effects cancer has had on my life were all going to be there. 

  

The bridges I had to cross to keep my life many have walked, many have also believed the walk was worth it. I guess for me it’s better to have faith in what is than fear of the unknown. We can’t change what was, we can’t change the path required to get there, but we can change how we see our life. Change how we see the fallen tree, maybe some will just see a tree that’s fallen over. I see a tree with a new way of living. What ever your way of living is, isn’t wrong. What is wrong though is not making the best of what you have. Seeing the bad as opposed to success. You have an opertunity of how to use your path that you choose, you will always have to walk the path you choose. Will always meet the people that you should meet. The thing that makes you special is what you choose to do. How you use the experiences you have.

What Faith chose she loved, even though her dad was actually quite embarrassed as she (again) jumped in right under the “no dogs swimming” sign. If you have an oppertunity to continue with life I rather hope you choose to do what’s required. Today my friend Pam ( who I dedicate this post to ) had to walk a very tough path. But she did, she has walked onto the bridge and walked forwards. Of course a new life will be hers, but I tip my hat to you Pam as do we all.

If you have never suffered, make sure you do all life has to offer you. Sing even if people can hear, dance if people can see. You have a life and however your living that life is a blessing to you, make your life a blessing to others. I dare you

Fonz

Ps someone put this sign up to. It rather made me laugh.

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories.

Copyright © 2016

Pain is a driving force.

Tags

blogging, faith, gain, giving, happiness, hope, love, pain, success

I heard this said by Ron Dennis in an interview with Martin Brundel. The once dominant F1 racing team, now paired with Honda, they have struggled and the two famous racing drivers, Fernando Alonso and Jenson Botton are struggling with them! Although totally committed. Using the pain of losing as a tool to carry on, could this be something we could use In a cancer fight? That was what my thoughts led to, did I actually use my pain as a driving force to beat cancer. Well for sure I did and it’s a way many more could use to beat it to, that the pain is a way of encouragement and not discouragement. 
It is what I have done the whole way though cancer, used pain as a way of overcoming the pain; caused by the cancer treatment. But how would I communicate that with you, how would I explain that.

  
 Well it’s like this, for me I have wanted my journey to be documented, so that none of what I have faced in cancer has been wasted. So because I was in effect explaining how I felt, what I was experiencing in the hope it would help someone somewhere. It meant I had the pain for a reason. That pain had become useful a vehicle even, to benefit others through the very pain I was experiencing. Effectively because of what I have been feeling it has a positive effect on you the reader.

Because it is now seen, that the treatment that of course I had an option to have or not have. Has cured me of the cancer that caused me to have this treatment, whilst the nerve damage is painful and even a permanent lead weight weighing me down. It’s almost worth it, because I am still here to share it with you. So what was the choice, die or live with pain. That’s it really, to just know that the journey we are given is for a reason. I don’t know what your situation is in your life, or what you have faced and will face. What I do know is though, is that I have chosen to use my seemingly negative journey to bring hope to others that fight. It was never certain that I would make it, it was never guaranteed that my treatment would work. But I am certain that my attitude to it was part of winning the battle, and it’s my job to tell you that by saying the word can and believing you will not fail certainly gives you the best chance  of success. 

  

Don’t think I have not had days that I wanted to give up, to throw in the towel so to speak. I DID.  You don’t have to either, you can. Speak life to yourself. It’s a choice how to use what you are experiencing. Let me know what you think? What ever you think, what you go through today can help the people of tomorrow. If you let it.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

It’s taken Dedication.

Tags

cancer, giving, healthy, love, pain, passion, time, together

It’s a tough old challenge to make happen some times, I set it for myself. To blog everyday for 365 days straight, I am still on target although I am having a bit of a break this weekend. I hope you don’t mind, but my wife has the weekend off so I am going to spend it with her. We are going to hold hands, walk, talk, eat, and generally enjoy spending time together.

I think it’s vital to make sure that my marriage remains healthy. It’s all very well taking on a challenge that huge. But Andie is my world and not to be neglected.  She got her last management feedback last nigh before entering into the executive world. I could not be more proud. That lady has helped me though cancer in a year and maintained an impeccable record working full time. Now there is one amazing girl. I am incredibly proud of her, and whilst she won’t like me putting it out there, it won’t change that I am proud of her.

  
It’s time for us now and I am gonna enjoy it, it’s rare she has time off call, faithy is coming to. I will take some pictures today and no doubt blog about where we have been and what we have done later. Until then, have a great day everyone. Don’t forget the people that love is in our daily lives, they are after all the people we have chosen to love forever. Whilst I love blogging, and all you bloggers that have decided I am value enough for you to follow. We all have lives and people that we need to give to in the physical. 

Have a great day

Fonz

  http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.