Good day to you, it’s July 4th today; Independence day in the US. If that’s you. Happy Independence Day! July 4th in the UK will be the day remembered that pubs were allowed to open in the UK during the Covid-19 pandemic.
One thing that’s taken some getting used to for me, writing posts like Its ok to not be ok, is talking about mental health. I am fortunate to have friends that accept me for who I am and don’t want to change me. It makes me feel safe to talk about my feelings. I am learning everyday that we are all not talking about things and recently I have decided to talk and indeed have talked to people I feel I can trust. I am surprised to find that one of my friends said such a poignant sentence to me. He does that, and it’s a real privilege to have him in my close circle of friends. He says things that are meaningful and honest. I can’t stand folk that speak with small amounts of knowledge. It’s far better to speak from experience than to think you know the answer. No one can take away your experiences! They are yours and yours alone.
“I prefer to listen to someone’s problems, than attend their funeral!”
Wow it was a light bulb moment. I spend my days encouraging people and loving them through their struggles. I spend time talking and being open and honest and being real. Even though I do this I understand that it’s really important to take time to yourself as well. So you can be the best you that you can be. Being effective is about looking after yourself as well as others.
YOU CAN is a powerful thing to say to anyone. It’s amazing the power you have as a human to help someone; or put them down with anything you say to them. I have people contact me from all types of backgrounds. Politicians, pundits; F1 Ted Kravitz has sent some encouraging words, as has Mark Blundell. You never know who you will affect in your life if you choose to say nothing. There are some wonderful people out there in the world. Yet yesterday was one of the worst of my life to date.
You see sometimes the way we feel is not us, it can be chemically induced, and affects your mind and some days all we can do is hold on. Just that holding on can be draining and tiresome. Yet holding on can be courageous and so much more is required to hold on than to let go. To achieve anything you have to hold on, you have to believe the storm will pass. You have to keep your head up and press on. My brother is good at this.
There is another thing the wisest man I know said to me yesterday. That storms are useful! In the bible story, where Jesus was asleep in the boat, to find the disciples waking him in a panic believing the storm would sink the boat. But Jesus put his hands out and stilled the water.
The wise man said to me after I said “These are huge waves I am riding dad” His response was
“Waves carry you forwards!”
So so true! I am not writing this to tell on all the people that help me in my life. I am attempting to encourage you, that talking is so much better than saying nothing. Us men are so proud yet you would be surprised at how many people; who have seemingly normal lives have things going on with them, that they are finding tough. Yet YOU! Yes you! Can have a positive influence on peoples lives. If you talk. If you say nothing, then how can you learn? How can you help someone. It’s only possible if we communicate with other people.
Some people hide what they feel and keep it inside and never have an effect on anyone’s life. Is that how you want to live? To only ever get from the world and never even use a wave you have ridden to affect someone in a positive way. In most of my writings I talk about how negatives need to exist so that there can be a positive. All of your experiences can be used for good if you let them. Hey no seriously I mean it ALL of them. Heck if I had not had such a bad day yesterday this post would not even exist.
“You can’t taste how sweet the sweet is, without tasting the sour!”
One sentence I said as a boy or should I say ‘prayed’ was “God I know why you made the blackberries but I don’t understand why you made the prickles. You are here to find out what this world is all about. During my cancer journey I have had to take many many drugs. Codeine, Tramadol, Gabapentin, Amitriptyline, and the one I am currently doing my best to come off of. HEROIN!! Disguised as Oxycodone!!! It messes you up when you withdraw as I am right now. Yet even as I withdraw, I am finding purity in life. In friendships, marriage, being a son. It’s all there for us all if we look.
Even being a child of God is hard sometimes. Being loving is hard sometimes. Being lonely is hard sometimes. Being positive is hard sometimes. Just hanging on is hard sometimes. But what ever you do in this life make sure that you are honest and talk to your friends. Make new ones and don’t be afraid to be yourself; people will respect you and most importantly you will be accepted for you.
Listen I have lived a fake life, been someone I am not and tried to present a me that was fake. People know! They pick up on it and they won’t be real with you either and what you get from the world will just be fake THINGS! Don’t get me wrong it’s ok to have things, as long as they don’t change who you are. My car makes me smile when I need a smile putting on my face. The people that talk to you about what they own rather than sharing what they have learnt, have not learnt what true freedom from within is all about. I want people to look back on my life and see me as an inspiration. That people that are going through something tough will read some of my writings, and feel that they can move forwards when they felt they were unable. To help people look for the positives where it seems there is none. That there is a purpose in what you’re facing right now. That only you can do what you are doing and only you can be who you are!
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