Suicide.
In memory of my friend Gary Townley.
Whilst there has been a lot of joy this week, there has been much sadness in my world. I have had a lump in my throat since I found out. I don’t think there has been a moment since Friday that I have not felt sorrow, I always said that suicide is selfish, something only a weak person would do.
I met Gary through a random advert I put up, some electrical sockets I needed fitting and wiring in my garden and lean to. Peter Pan replied to me saying he could help me and when could he come to look. Gary did a lot for us after that day, and to be honest I used to find work for him to do just so I could give him some money to get by. Some people in life you just warm to. Gary had a strut when he walked like I had not seen in anyone before, he genuinely cared about people and whilst I won’t talk about his personal life here, I do want to write something that will be there forever when someone googles his name. I struggle writing this, I really struggle as all of my life here in this village has been about preserving life.
When I looked back through his messages he wrote to me, he was crying out. I did call round to see him, I offered him my hand of friendship and he did come round sometimes when he was not working. He was a softly spoken man, but with an air of genuine about him. Fear was his terrible friend and sorry to say that he needed to escape his demonds. So here ya go Gary this letter is for you.
Dear Gary,
I thankyou , for your friendship. For your kindness, the workmanship in our home. You know I still have lights to fit in my house, that you have yet to fix. I have to say, I loved your hat and how different you were. Your dangly cross ear ring. I liked how you wanted to be a good person, and am greatful you wired the extension in our extension. Everywhere I look in my home your hands have been, lights fitted and you even taught me how. The tools you gave me, the care you showed me. Thank you for always doing your best, sad to say you are now at rest. Just wish I could knock your door again, share a doughnut again. It hurt me so to see you so sad, we even cried together.
We never did have that beer did we. At least you heard my story though, my story of life and not suicide. I feel I should have done more, except knock on ya door. But hey, your demonds are now finished. Your not going to suffer on earth anymore, maybe suicide is actually the hardest thing to do after all. So Gary, goodbye my friend. I will see you again, but not yet. I want to make time to make it matter, my life matter somewhere in some form. God knows you never got dealt the best cards in the world. But you did know happiness at one time.
So Gary I lift my glass, and say thank you lord that I met you.
Rest now mate, and see you soon.
Fonz
fonzandcancer blogging to encourage. 