It’s amazing this life that we have, made more colourful by the friendships we make. I want to encourage you all today. I want you to know some of my thoughts. Some of my findings in this wonderful tapestry we call life.
Today I woke and the low mood I felt before I went to sleep was still prevalent. I didn’t want to walk as I normally do. My mood was one of a deep unhappiness, (reasons don’t need to be aired here) when we feel that way there is only one person that can help you up right? Yourself. No one can help you to stand with a straight back and hold your head up high.
How wrong I am! We all need a little help from our friends and I made myself go for a walk with my girlfriend and made myself eat my own words. To go and empty my head of all that was negative. To throw it in the river in my mind. “River Douglas” in my case. We had a great talk and walk we smiled chatted and gave each other a smile.
Something that’s priceless is to encourage someone else.
Before I went I looked through my phone for people I had not messaged in a while “friends not family” they are the family we choose. Let me tell you there are people in your phone that want to spend time with you and all you need to do is press the green button. Make a call and ask how they are. Not only will they appreciate it but trust me it will lift you yourself.
This pandemic has made us all be exclusive and separate from each other. We all feel the same you know. Your not alone in how it’s made you feel. We all have been through the same. So I want to challenge you today. To go to your message list and scroll to the ones you have not contacted in a year. To relight the fire, ask after them and make them realise that your still here and give them that special gift of a smile. A feeling like no other to make someone else smile.
Great friend
Life’s not about things, life’s about loving others, giving not taking. Blessing not cursing. It’s about helping others and not taking from others. Life’s precious and what we say or do for people makes a big difference.
By eck
Be that friend, pick up the phone and make someone’s day and please do let me know how that went for you. Remember it’s you that can be a blessing. It’s your choice and I hope you do and and are the special person I know you are.
If it was today 5 years ago i would be in hospital having my Stem cells given back to me. basically if you don’t know how that works; you have your stem cells harvested by an injection to encourage reproduction in your large flat bones, (hips and Sternum) your connected to a machine. 1mm needle in each arm, then the blood goes into a machine and is flicked. the heavy cells (stem cells) are heavier and end up in a bag. Which are then cleaned and stored in Nitrogen. You don’t have to be in remission to do this. Although a very severe chemo given to you over 3 days called ICE is administered. This is called a cycle so if you have 2 cycles its 3 days in hospital normally., per cycle. I was the second person to have it as an out patient. That in itself is severe to deal with. I vomited immediately. Having to up meds to stop sickness.
You then have 7 days chemo in hospital attached to chemo nearly 24×7. that’s called BEAM. Once that’s gone in your body, your cells are given back to you called day +1. otherwise known as you re-birthday. that’s today 21/05/2020.
i have to stress at this point that all this treatment meant you had no immunity what so ever for about a week. your spaced out, angry, and feel helpless. that’s the worst for me thinking there was nothing i could do. that it was out of my control and in the hands of people i did not know, but trusted them with my life.
While I was attached to my chemo I did press ups, and walked when my wife was not there to the bathroom and back completing 3km plus every single day and a minimum of 50 press-ups a day.
So what was it like?
Personally i think it was harder for my loved ones my wife, mum dad Brother sister family and friends. it was a means to an end I set myself a goal. To get out in 3 weeks and get to 5 years. That’s today.
I wrote everyday for a whole year while i was in there I wrote once a day no matter what but sometimes more, to encourage those that may have this process in the future. I realised early on that writing would be one of the things that i could do whilst locked in that small room. Recently i have not been on my blog that much but to my surprise there has never been a day goes past, where it does not get read.
how it felt !
I don’t mind telling you, that room was hard to deal with. it was like being locked in a room but you could leave if you wanted to. but if you did you probability is vastly reduced. You leave “You will die” You have to finish. There is no option and there were times when i actually felt like i would survive if i jumped out the window. we were on the 7th floor but trust me i actually believed i could and even planned to do it. its all normal in the world of transplant though. i believe my dad when he was in hospital thought he was a Lion. drugs do funny things to people. the whole process was overwhelming. but doable .
There are so many people to thank, not least the #NHS the staff are to many to name but the oncology at Southport were the ones that saved my life. The BMT unit at the Royal Liverpool. What an amazing bunch they were. Helping people that would otherwise be dead have a new start in life.
My friends and family that called me each day and cheered me up when i was down. or wound me up. i am sure Sky chuckled right then. (He knows)
Having a BMT affects everyone involved in your life that’s for sure! you make friends that will last a lifetime. You learn so much about your health your body and how to stay healthier. drinking far more water now than ever i did. staying hydrated being the no1 thing that keeps our bodies shifting the unwanted waste from us.
one thing we loved in hospital was my mums Faith diaries part of the post above links you to it. Or here The path to recovery.
one thing i was amazed at were the acts of kindness people did. video calls from Egypt whilst losing his granparents but yet still encouraging me. the parcels my mum n dad brought up to their son. my friend the jeweller came and dropped individually wrapped fruit for my wife to bring in. my friends children sent me videos and wrote messages and made canvasses for me. nephew Josh sent in a box with a monkey, my sister sent in a box. well came to the hospital to send it. Ethan was the only nephew that saw me in there. Hi 5 Eath.
Thankyou everyone of you that were there for me/us. The kindness of my own wife’s work colleagues too. Its been amazing knowing who your true friends are.
in my mind i have seen this mile stone as the last stumbling block, the last one in believing i would be rid of cancer. i have learnt a lot during these last 9 years from my first diagnosis. i have been slow, lacking get up and go and not felt like i liked the new me.
well today is the day that i change my thinking. That my thinking should change from
“i am what i am because of cancer”
or
“That was then this is now” mentality.
i have been plagued with all sorts of things. But its all in the past now. today is my new day plus 1 with 1825 learning days maybe 1 or 2 less due to leap years. i am sure someone will correct me. Thanks in advance.
i want you to know that finishing any challenge starts with a step. but the key ingredient is to be determined to get to the end. never ever give up. i watched all the Rocky movies whist in that room and my fav other film. our wedding DVD. what a great day that was.
when i was first diagnosed we moved to a house nearer to the sea, we have had cancer in our lives ever since we have lived here. but as soon as i knew there was gonna be a fight i sought plans for an extension started by someone i called a friend. Good things happen with a positive mental attitude and a support network of people that genuinely care about you. I wrote a list and got my wife to photograph all of the cards. here is the post. sorry if your names not there. “But that was then and this is now”
Its not easy facing anything in life, people give up when the going gets tough. The only way to carry on is to realise how precious you are and your life. You have to want it really want it. Sometimes you have to realise what you could lose and change your life for a bit. Respect life and those that are in it. When bad things happen only the. Who your really are is revealed.
Thanks for reading and I hope you feel energised. Because only you stand in the way of you.
One particular line (you gotta keep dancing when the lights go out)
Have you ever felt like it only ever happens to you?
You ever felt like it’s only you that gets dealt the bad hands and others get an easy ride. I know I have but at Christmas time we start to think about others don’t we. The ones fighting, the ones that are cold. The ones facing treatment, watching their life long partner breath their last breath. The lonely the blessed. The survivors the people that just won’t be beaten and carry on regardless! Some of the most wonderful people I have met in my life have absolutely nothing! Yet they have everything. To look in a persons eyes that has nothing to hide is a wonderful thing.
Somehow this line that’s inspired me. this blog post has taken me right back to when the lights went out for me, but had to keep fighting. I chose to carry on dancing in the dark. But more than that I am 4 yrs and 7 months post Bone marrow Transplant. I live with pain everyday and was fat when I left hospital! I hated the way I looked. I never understood how people could gain so much weight until it happened to me. Slowly but surly I have built n built making small adjustments to my life and because of that line. Because I heard that line. I realised that I have been dancing since the lights went out for a very long time.
But so much more than this, it’s made me realise that everyone has their own journeys. Their own daily struggles. Don’t ever look at someone and think they are not dancing in the rain. We all have different roads, different times yes. But you can never underestimate what a person has been through to get to where they are today. When I see old people I often wonder what went on in their life. How long they were married and it always fills me with delight to see older folk holding hands!
You know what cancer has taught me that everyone is on a journey.
It’s about doing something what ever that may be. Everyone hurts and everyone cries. Everyone falls. Everyone has hopes and dreams. But while some are doing their best some are unable. Your not alone!
We all go through things in our lives and everyone has battles. Maybe unseen, you may never even know someone faces anything.
It’s Christmas time where we celebrate that Jesus was born on earth and lived as an example for us to learn and follow.
It’s a time to remember someone, to make someone feel good. Behind every successful person is a bumpy road behind them. Yours is no harder than anyone else’s. Because as always it’s not what we face it’s how we deal with it. Please God forgive me, I have not been the best role model.
But then we come to the point that no darkness exists where there is light. Cold play may have just shone a light in my life by creating this song.
But like my friend Rob would say. Where there are ripples there are reactions.
So I want to challenge you to send this message to someone in your phone book. Send it to two people and ask them to do the same. Shall we spread some love this Christmas and make some people know that they are not alone! That they have a friend. That they are important. That they matter. That they are not the only ones!
Will you help me do that?
This is the message.
You are getting this message, because your important and appreciated. Because your treasured by God himself. Never give up! You have friends. What kind of world do you want it to be?Please forward to 2 people.
Can you imagine if someone chose to carry on dancing when the light go out because of you.
Let’s bless some people. If it’s a silly idea then fair play but it’s something we can all do today. To bless someone with positivity.
What are you going to do? What kind of world do you want it to be?
“Ya gotta keep dancing when the lights go out”
But carry on keep moving, keep being good. Choose to be a blessing.
Today’s not a day I want to repeat, the feelings of giving up and jumping off the planet are all consuming. No one can see in our heads and if there was a door I would say. Please don’t open it. My mental health it has to be said is not right, the list is long as to why. But I guess it’s normal for people, and I won’t be the first to feel like life’s not worth it. Thank God for my dogs that follow me absolutely everywhere. Accepted without judgement. There are things going on in my life and finding a lump in my body has just messed with my Melon. I am struggling really badly right now. The sun is shining, yet all I can see is darkness and negativity.
Normally my blog posts are to encourage others, but today I am weak. Feeling low in worth and feel like jumping. I am holding on but only just, is there anyone out there with experience. That they have been where I am maybe.
I guess it’s all normal, but I don’t like it and I don’t like life either. I feel like I am on a raft in the middle of the sea and all I can see is a storm. Pain is a constant and while I have made in roads to be a good influence on others right now I could happily just leave the planet with no regrets.
I feel worthless right now, almost like I am in the way of others. I have become depressed with the constant stabbing pain. I can’t escape it’s there always. When I go to sleep, in my dreams and when I wake. It’s like I have been buried in pain and it grinds away your happiness.
Why would someone who has fought so hard to live end up with a want to die? Only driving in my TVR does the pain disappear. You can’t do that all the time.
Maybe I have written how I feel just for me,
but it’s here for the world to see.
How long will it be for me,
To live a life with warmth and know no pain.
It’s my 50th yr and it does not even feel like it’s something to celebrate. How strange after such a long fight. Then the thoughts of what I have found, what is it. Please not again, surly not again.
Here is my opinion of this made up bullshit day. At this time of year people feel guilted into buying presents for their loved ones. Which is a complete farse. It was created by a card company that wanted to boost profitability after the Christmas period. The original story is about valentine, the story ends with two people becoming involved romantically. Someone somewhere decided to make it another day to make the willing followers give cash and buy their lovers a card, treat, or a present.
It’s aimed at young people, and I personally feel, that if you can’t wait till the day after to cash in on the cheap chocolates then there is something wrong. Your partner should be encouraging you not to spend money on the said Day. Rather know and feel secure that you are indeed loved. That a made up day does not change anything. Of course I sent cards when I was young, when I was single and perhaps it’s a great way to get the attention of someone you like.
When I was single, I would always without fail go out on the 14th Feb. After all you were almost guaranteed that anyone out would be single. As the people who were in a relationship would be sat at a table somewhere gazing at each other. It is for sure a great night to go out if you want to higher the odds of a yes. Unless of course you are a serial Tinder swiper, then you will be in your pjs on the sofa giving your thumb a workout. Wondering who deserves a DM.
If you love someone, you will buy flowers spontaneously, say you love each other for no reason. Kiss, and hug for no reason. But wait, it is for a reason. It’s because you love each other and and not because a card company says you should. What a load of codswallop that is, don’t you think?
Use your head and buy flowers when they are cheap, and take advantage of the cheap chocs after the fake day, they call Valentine’s Day. As I say, if your trying to attract someone it’s a great opportunity not to be missed. But that is it.
Don’t be drawn in and feel your relationship depends on it. If it does the chances are you are in a needy relationship. NOT a loving one.
I can honestly say if I knew life would be like this that I would not have had a transplant at all. I have been patient and although the doctors said I will be better after a 2 year period. I am not. Everyday I do my very best to be upbeat and helpful and encouraging to people. Yet I am sat here feeling sad with a lump in my throat. It feels unfair to go through so much and to give with your whole heart yet still feel like this. I know for sure other people will feel the same way but are afraid to be honest. Well I am if one thing, not afraid, everyday I stand when my body says no, everyday I smile when my body says cry. But some days like today, I have to allow myself the honesty to myself. Everyday I do my best yo lift others, but it’s not possible when I can’t (yup I said it) even lift myself. My spirit is torn and my mind wonders how long I can carry on feeling like this. I keep myself busy so as the pain depletes, you can’t feel pain whilst focused on something else.
Well pain, today you win. You have dragged me to the depths I did not feel possible. I have very strong pain killers, OxyContin and gabapentin. Sometimes I need two of each just to complete a day. What people’s opinions of me don’t seem to matter anymore. My dignity has been taken and another’s opinion has near no effect on me these days. What did I have the transplant for? To render me unable, to make me depressed. Well I fight both of those each day, aside of that encouraging others that they can as well. Because if I can you can right.
Yet although my honesty is unrivalled here, I still have a small smoulder that needs fanning to make the fire. So now even though all is seemingly against me! I will look for positives where I am unable to see. Not even the birds sing today, but like Job. I will rejoice anyway, I will say thank you for what has been given to me. Life where I should have non, warmth that I should not feel. Acceptance of what has been taken away and gratefulness for what I still have. This is a true battle today, one I must be grateful to have. Because without a battle, how can you win. Giving up means defeat, slumping because of the torment of pain. But NO I will not, I will win the battle and understand one day why it had to be won. Today I have the victory, because Jesus paid the price.
So with a thankful heart, and a grateful soul. I say thank you lord for the prickles, because without the prickles there would be no blackberries.
I hope you win your battle today to.
Smile at someone, you could help them find some sunshine.
Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)
It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.
Everything you read are better based on my own experipence and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Pleapse share with others, if it meant something tou you it owill to someone
else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.
You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?
It’s how people see things that are not saved, they think that if someone gives to them that they must owe them something. Wow that sentence hit home for me, because I like to give yet I receive aswell. It’s a hard lesson for someone that’s a giver to receive graciously. For sure I have made many mistakes in my life, some catastofic. (Spelling I would like to say is catastrofic but I can’t spell it.)
No ones perfect! But yet a really valuable lesson is to learn that to be given to is as beautiful as the person receiving something from you. Yet we hope the person would receive the gift and accept you want nothing in return. I have learnt in life that people want to give to me and I take away that pleasure for them sometimes. I love the feeling I get when I give to someone and even a small thing can mean so much to someone.
There begins the line from another Rocky movie
Que Rocky Balboa accent!
“Friends don’t owe, friends do because they wanna do”
Those nurses saved my life, didn’t they? Or was it the whole thing, the transplant, my faith, my friends? Or was it not the giving of all the people that were in the whole process. I digress.
The point is that giving in its self is a gift, that humility in being given to and allowing that person the beauty of the feeling we all get when we give. I believe that it’s as important as giving itself. It’s for sure something I am learning and stepping forwards to get better at it. You know I still don’t think many people get why I blog and get nothing for it. I see people going to work and earning while I blog to encourage others yet for no reward. Every time I pick up this I pad I want to use it to help people. So am I actually one of the people that feel like I owe, because the treatment saved my life? Well the answer is possibly a bit, but that’s only because I want people who are going to face what i did, gain from my experience possibly. That’s why I give.
We are all blessed in our own way, maybe although I don’t reread what I have written out loud very well (so I am told) but I am able to a small degree at least. Help people to find the strength to carry on, to find a way when they feel there is no way. To articulate what’s happened in my life to encourage other people. You can’t do much when your isolated so I did what I could do with what I had in my hands.
My friends I must conclude by saying, if someone wants to give to you. Allow them to feel good about it, allow them yo enjoy their giving. But also if you want to give don’t be afraid of rejection, be happy you are able or in the position to give. Don’t take people for granted, recognise the good things about them. But most of all. You ain’t gotta owe someone, to give something to someone.
Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.
Even that is a creation. You can choose the “I will be” creation but that’s your choice. It’s not about you being happy or God being happy with you.
It’s about the you you are, being positive about you. If the feelings not good, let it go! People say things like
“why me” but why not you?
“Life’s so hard” it is for everyone!
“I wish I could” you can, there is a way.
Life is as hard as we expect it to be, I mean I can talk right, suffering more than I should because of cancer? Or maybe cancer made me realise how alive I am. Pain is a reminder of that everyday. A reminder cancer could not win, or a reminder I am alive. Oh of course I get my bad days, but then you can’t go though life with just all good days, or all bad days. You can’t have one without the other.
When we live life this way, nothing can bring us down for long periods. Because there is always something to look forward to. Pain is a reminder we are still winning. Reasons to do rather than excuses not to.
Living a grateful life is for sure a better way to live. We can’t have one without the other. A battery can’t work without a negative, and for sure you can’t have a positive without it. So a life being grateful for the negatives is far more useful.
Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)
It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.
Everything you read are better based on my own experipence and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Pleapse share with others, if it meant something tou you it owill to someone
else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.
You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?
All to easy to do that isn’t it. Press delete and it’s no longer there, the app or the frustrating game you waste so much time playing. But what’s frustrating me so much with this want it now society? Well it’s not the fact that people drive around in cars that they don’t own, or the fact that people want a burger and fries with immediate affect when they want it. Not so much that now isn’t soon enough. My concern is for the mental state of mankind. That it’s becoming so easy to get a 55inch TV without paying for it. That you can get a settee and pay nothing for 2 years or what ever. What bothers me is people don’t TALK anymore. That people have a difference of opinion and that’s the end of that. That friendships and relationships seem to be about what people can get rather than what they can give.
My parents married for 50 years!
That “what can I get” is more heard of than what can I give. You see that’s why relationships and friendships break down. Not because they are not loved by you, or that you are not loved. Infact you are either inconsiderate, or selfish. The world ends up with so much disharmony because people think they can just throw stuff away. Even people are thrown away, which is why device is on the rise. The older generation had it right, once you were married it was for life. Still is in my book. But not all of us have the very noble and healthy opinions. Because it’s all to easy to separate. Than to carry on working things out.
People that have been married for long periods of time, have to work at it. They have to say sorry and not go to bed on an argument. Me and Andie my wife always start the day with a kiss and end it with a kiss. We always have a kiss to look forwards to. We trust that we have each other no matter what. Loving someone takes effort it’s not something that’s easy. I don’t understand these girls and boys that have children together and then split up.
Listen I know life’s tough, but choose to give and not take away and life would be better for everyone. Putting your arm around someone is not difficult. But saying sorry means so much. Let’s make choices that give, as opposed to taking. To have the attitude, what can I give, is so much more attractive that what can I have.
Possibly people’s mental health would be improved, and in turn lives children ect ect we all need security. Will you choose to give that? Or do you want what you can get? Choose what’s best for others not just you.
Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)
It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.
Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Pleapse share with others, if it meant something tou you it owill to someone
else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.
You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?
The reality of the past 7 years and the realisation that what I was interested in doing. (Encouraging someone everyday) has been achieved. Nuts really how this has happened considering the pain that envelopes me on a daily basis. Success is doing what you say your going to do. Asking if I want a coffee in a morning if you know me is pointless. Making a coffee for me if you so wished, I don’t take milk and less than one teaspoon of sugar. The point of this post is to talk with you about doing, not considering it. Talking to me seems useless, but standing up and doing something means so much to me these days.
You see when your faced with losing your own life, no really you do start to see. It’s only then that you become. Let me explain. Good people, give. They don’t say, hey can I, do you mind if I, please let me. Good people do, they don’t speak of what’s happened. They just do, possibly because they have learnt the same lessons as me. This next picture I took of one of my friends and it speaks so much of what’s going on in this world. That to enjoy what you can’t control, is so much more of a peaceful way to live. Yet, I so often allowed things outside of my control to affect me. I know as another friend reminded me yesterday that we are of course ALWAYS a work in progress. If we are only willing to allow ourselves to not be controlled by our surroundings. Rather to accept what others choose, and enjoy what they choose even if it’s not what we would have done.
This picture although not me, says all I want to say to you really. That to let what’s around you be, and be comfortable with others choices. That no matter what is or has happened around you standing and doing what you feel is right is actually right for you. No other way is right. To stop talking and start doing is when you discover life in its true fullness.
I know I have spoken of sentences the bible says at times in my blog. But this is what I mean.
Jesus Predicts His Death
John 12 vs…23But Jesus replied, “The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. 24Truly, truly, I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a seed; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. 25Whoever loves his life will lose it, but whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.…
In other words, if you continue to hate the world you live in and live a life of turmoil it will always be that. But let go of those things and allow the world to be around you and not try to change them. I most certainly will continue to become a better person. To stop allowing things others do to not bother me as appossed to annoy me. That the journey of others is theirs nit mine. Whilst on holiday, a Dacia Duster driver was reversing. Seemingly directly into the car I was driving.
My accepting the world photo.
Why can’t you just laugh knowing your a better driver than that, Sentance. Changed my perspective and as ever. If your not with a friend that loves you enough to not let you stay the way you are. Then the chances are your with people that are around you because they want something from you. People that love you will always challenge you. But then of course they will always accept you to. But love you to much to let you stay that way.
That’s what the verse means, until you stop worrying about your souroundings. You will never enjoy what your surroundings are.
Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)
It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.
Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Pleapse share with others, if it meant something tou you it owill to someone
else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.
You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?
Throughout our lives we are faced with opportunities. Some I chose not to choose and some I am so grateful I did choose. Like friendships, to go this way or that. Have you ever stopped to think; what would I have happened if I had chosen a different path. Where life would have taken us should we have chosen to befriend someone or not.
I remember once walking down a street and our eyes met we smiled at each other and carried on walking. Perhaps had I stopped I would not have the people in my life I do today. But is not about what we didn’t do is it. It’s about what we did do that chances our path. Or is it the not doing that takes us on a new path to the things we choose to do.
For me I am happy I never stopped that day, although it’s still something in my mind. Because without me choosing not to I did not sink. Or maybe that smile was just something we shared that made both of our lives better.
I adore smiling at people I think need some kindness. 3 days ago I smiled at a married lady with little hair. “You on chemotherapy” I said. She lit up and gave me a hug. It was like we understood and empathised with each other. It’s amazing how we can affect someone’s life just by understanding someone.
Only you can have that affect on someone. Only you can bring light into someone’s life. Never say you are not able to do anything, because even a smile can have a positive affect on others lives. You have the smile and ability to do that. Try it make someone’s day, choose to smile today. Let me know how that went in the comments.
Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)
It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.
Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Pleapse share with others, if it meant something tou you it owill to someone
else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.
You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?
To give life!!
At the moment we are looking after 3 dogs, although the other 2 are faiths pups you still follow them around guiding them to be good. The warmth they give my heart far out weighs the mist chief I find them making. Take this afternoon.
I am making a bigger pond for my fish of which I have 12 remaining. But that’s due to me not putting a net over the pond and a heron pinching one last night. So I am indoors sorting out cloud print or something on our Epsom printer… (Still no idea) the pups were outside.
I am not silly, I know they make mischief but hoped they would be good. They normally play in the side garden, ripping up paper and snapping things. Anything is fair game. Take the other day I planted some climbers, only to find the plants half eaten on the grass. I said nothing and ent and got some chicken wire ( the plastic kind) and screwed it either side of the posts so no further intrusions of plants avoiding all dog chrime!!
The next day I came into the garden where I was confident I had sorted the issue to find the same plant uprooted and more besides and the netting ripped off. I looked at Lily Hope our puppy who tilted her head to the side in a (waaaaat) kinda way. Looking to cute to chastise. With a smile on my face… “NAUGHTY PUPPY”. I said. She looked at me satisfied with her dog chrime with a look of one upmanship as she waddled off. No more has happened since. However.
We return to the pond build and I had successfully moved all remaining 12 fish into a paddling pool ready for putting into their new home. Tomorrow. Whilst confusing myself with printer clouds and google chrome it appeared the two amigos ( sisters ) have been naughty and removed one of my fish and had decided to play with it on the decking. When I arrived they quickly left the area waddling satisfactorily down the path whilst I decided if I should bin the fish or do my best to revive the poor girl.
Of course I opted to revive the fish, to my astonishment it now lives. My puppy and our friends puppy no doubt will still be partners in dog chrime, and I will continue to love them, and hope they find me some sort of leader in the future. But I do rather think it best to enjoy that they are with us, and see their little lives as pleasant unpredictable additions to our family.
Life is that, and no matter what your pain you can look upon the trials you face however you like. But you do have life which is a gracious gift.
Fonz
Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)
It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. I
Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something tou you it will to someone
else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.
You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?
It’s been a while, whist finishing all my projects someone I met who called round a couple of times. Said “finish one thing before you start another.” As I looked around I realised how much there actually was unfinished at our house. But is that the right way to look at stuff. I mean there is so so much we have done in our home to. Let’s start a list.
Let’s call it inside out.
Tiled the whole of downstairs,
Decorated throughout,
Ripped out double doors and made it a through diner,
Built an extension with vaulted roof.
Log fire fitted
Oak floor,
Conservatory built,
Indian stone placed around 360 degrees of the house.
Garage floor fitted,
Drains fitted
Stream fitted with fish and pump and furniture,
Rear garden created with shrubs and plants,
Side garden obtained and planted,
Seating area created,
Orchard started,
Front area planted,
Rear chill out shed next to the stream created,
Log store built in side garden to serve log burner,
Also dream car maintained to a great level.
Oh and all whilst beating cancer, twice. Don’t know if I mentioned that.
There is a way to fail, but you have to believe that to. Only people that believe they will win, will. You see while we can believe we will fail, we can also believe we will win. People can see what’s not done, or see what’s been done. Yes there are some small piles of bricks, yes I have stuff that’s not moved yet. But there is also a porch that’s not built yet, and a stream that needs finishing (Well building) in the back garden. The roof and rear door needs fitting to the garage and a wall building. But I think it’s best to look at what we have achieved while we could have just let the walls cave in.
My point is, your words can have a devastating effect on people’s lives. But it can be devastatingly positive, or negative. The word devastating can also be positive but then you knew that right? Have you ever seen someone who’s devastatingly beautiful. I don’t mind telly you I have. That lady stole my heart so many years ago and she is the reason I live today, she is the reason all of what I have spoken about has been created. Her devastating beauty stole me from me. But hey I needed stealing and if I were to start over it would be with you Andie.
Thank you for all you have done, and all you will do. I ask also that you would forgive my failing as I am not perfect. But one thing is for sure you are perfect for me. Every brick I move I move for you.
Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)
It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. I
Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something tou you it will to someone
else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.
You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?
As I sit here on the settee minding my Dam ‘Faith’ I am watching the movie ‘CREED’ it’s brought a lot of memories back to my mind. Rekindled my cancer journey and even why I embarked on treatment in the first place. The first reason of course was my wife. My friend turned LIFE long partner, then my wife. Which she will be till my last breath. Loads of things are spinning around in my head, in not very long faith will give birth to her puppies. Life will be because of the fights I have had to have and won. Strange for me to think, that without cancer there would be no Faith. Without cancer I may not have realised who my fake friends were, but also who my real, true friends were and indeed are the family I have chosen.
It’s bringing back to my mind not just why I beat cancer but how. In the film Rocky gets the cancer I had, which opens the flood gates for me every time. I can’t help remembering the day, the day your told what’s making you so tired and weak. You see when you fight cancer, it’s every scan, every blood test every chemo. It’s Avery person that sends you a text that helps you to go that one more round when you think you can’t. That’s what beating cancer is about, ‘one round at a time’ Faiths about to give birth and whilst she will never understand the words I write, our friendship is without a doubt real.
What ever you face on your journey, I want you to know that you can. That no matter how many obstacles there are in the way. If you keep getting up and moving forwards that you can. You have to have the heart to stand and move forwards though. I don’t know about you but the friends I call family have given me the strength to get up when I thought I couldn’t. The visits from people when I didn’t want them, because I wanted to give in to cancer and die. I want to right here right now, thank those people for helping me get to today, for my actual family for the love and support they showed me to. That through his people God gave me the strength to choose life.. in choosing life, there will be new life in the form of faiths puppies.
So thank you cancer, and thank you for helping me choose life.
Ps, I have committed to doing this to encourage people, what I ask of you is that you share these blogs I make on email, facebook twitter, you can affect people by pressing a button. It only takes a click or two.
Our support group on our FB
Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)
It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. I
Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them hereby to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something tou you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.
Well I guess some people would frown at me for this post, well it’s still going up. Your reading it. It was 5 years ago when I was told that I needed chemo to survive. But to do that I may become infertile and may need to make a deposit at the women’s hospital in Liverpool. I had no idea what this was to entail, I had all sorts of thoughts what happens at the women’s hospital. Do they milk men like they milk Bulls and pigs. Was there a lady with a plastic glove that helps you, I know your laughing right. But have you got a sperm account, if not I guess you don’t know what’s involved either.
I decided I needed to go in my manly car, you know turn up with my Tom Cuise Aviator glasses on in my loud rather distinctive TVR. I had images of me arriving an strutting into the hospital full of energy and of course other stuff. Except the pictures that we have in our minds don’t quite work out like that do they. I mean I was going in a TVR which are unreliable to say the least. How did I expect to arrive all immaculate, well groomed and smooth. When I was going in a car that involved doing something to it on every trip. This trip was the same as the rest. It stopped running half way there and had to lie in the ground and hit the fuel pump with something hard. I ended up with oil on my face and smudged oil on my hands, and looked nothing like the fluffy Tom Cuise look I had in my mind on arrival.
When I arrived I was given a few consent forms to sign, one said. IF YOU DIE, YOU CONSENT TO …….. USING YOUR SPERM TO CONCIEVE. Oh, no one said it would be this way, that I would realise I had cancer like this. In fact non of the day had gone to plan so far, what ever that plan was. Anyway, apparently this invincible guy was about to become infertile and will not be able to have children. 10 years they would keep my boys for. But how would it happen, another guy sat near me also not aware of the given procedures.
After ( some time ) a lady said you can go into room 1 now. She came I mean went in there with me, this was the scene. The room had a dentist chair in it with a large roll of blue paper at the top of the head rest. The nurse pulled some of the paper over the dentist chair then switched on a large TV and told me there were a verity of channels to watch. I was told that I could make my deposit in the plastic container and then place into the wooden lift and press the buzzer and it would be frozen in nitrogen for 10 years. ” what channels I thought ” I remember my mum telling me not to look at dirty pictures growing up, so the underwear section of Kay’s catalougue was all I had to go on back then. I had learnt a little more since then, I was after all, married. But switching on a TV and erm well you know. In a hospital???! What? It just felt so so wrong, I told myself this was for my wife and maybe for my future son or daughter. I had not been blessed with children, but I was well aware of how they were made. Well we all know what happened there in that dentist chair, and the channel I watched will have to remain with me. I made my deposit pressed the buzzer, and up it went to were ever it gets stored. But that was not the embarrassing part. That was opening the door and looking to my right to see about 6 nurses, looking at my belt area. Oh boy, I don’t think I ever knew embarrament before then.
Six ladies all looking at me at the same time, why did they do that.. Well I know why, but even so. I said my good byes and went home. The second time I did that I asked my wife never to ask me to go again. She had 2 deposits and I hoped if she needed them because chemo did not work then she would enjoy bringing our child up. I prayed that I would make it though,.
So here we are , I don’t know if we will need to withdraw anything from my account as we try for a baby, that we hope for our little miracle because they did say that chemo may damage my swimmers. But what ever the outcome, we shall not be upset, and feel truly blessed if one day I hold my own son or daughter. So please pray that we have our miracle, that we don’t have to make a withdrawal. I hope you giggled in this post, it was created to lighten your day, but also to educate you that there is no lady to help you with gloves on, it’s all your own work.
Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)
It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories.
Many of you know me by now, and know that I like to turn things around into positives. We have just had a referendum and England has chosen to be out of the EU. We have as a nation decided to Leave, it looks quite close when you look at the percentage. But that equates to 1,269,501 more people decided to leave compared to remain. I don’t know about you, but that’s a lot of people in my mind. Do you know that’s more people that the whole of Wales and northern Ireland put together that chose to vote. The total of the two combined being 1,212,784 in Wales and Northern Ireland that came out to vote. A LOT of people.
Now to me what we are faced with here is an oppertunity, it’s not an accident. It’s a choice we have made and for me it’s something we can not change. What we can change though is how we respond to it, what we do as a nation and what we do from now on has to be surely an oppertunity for unity. I found this on what is today 24th June, interesting how the article says day 24 yet written nearly 8 years ago, making reference to the verse I refer to in Psalm 133. Day 24
So for me this is what we now are going to become, we are going to have a new Destiny. A new start, a new beginning. Let’s see what our future holds not as a curse but a clear chance for us all to bless one another going forwards. To hold out our hands to those that struggle, there is absolutely nothing to be gained by fighting what we have chosen to do going forwards. What ever Wales, Northern Ireland, and Scotland do is up to them. If they don’t want to be a part of the United Kingdom, will we still be in unity and be a blessed nation. There will always be consequences to any decision that’s made, we WILL deal with those as they come. Please stand though, please stand together and face what ever it is that we face. Together. Let’s walk forwards in unity as we leave the EU and become the Stong people that we are.
You have a choice, help or complain. I say, lets role up our sleeves and work together to hold on to the Britain that we all want but let’s do it Together. In unity with one voice without pointing fingers and remarking on what we would have been without leaving the EU. We are where we are, the only thing we can do is to now choose who we want to run our country and that what we need to concentrate on. The change what you want as a sovereign country is now down to you. You can either complain that the vote did not go your way. Or you can choose the government that you want moving forwards, because surely moving forwards is better than looking back.
Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)
It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories.
So here I am it’s 12pm I am still in bed, yup that’s right the pain is still with me and I am not able to walk today. If I was that man that was under the circumstances maybe I would feel sorry for myself and maybe even shed a tear, but that’s not me. I actually smile that I have pain, yea it’s true. The smile is because I can actually feel the pain, the pain makes me know I am alive. That although standing hurts, that I have beaten cancer. “Twice”. The pain reminds me every hour of the day how hard the fight was, it reminds me of many other things to. It reminds me of my family, my friendships, this blog and the support people have given me around the world. The pain makes me grateful to be alive, happy to have life in whatever fashion that is.
You see for me, life has never been a breeze. Everything I have ever done I have had to do the hard way. But I am sure that I speak for most people on the planet, life’s not easy is it? If it is easy for you then please tell me how you do that?
What I have realised personally at the age of 47, is that we all have similar battles in different guises. But I don’t think there are many people walking the earth that have an easy time. It’s just most don’t shout about it, or share how they are feeling.mmaybe telling those closest to them and that’s it. Well it was a little different for me as the first time I had it I was given a short time to live without treatment. But even then that was not enough to tell you about it. It was not until I had been around cancer for 3 years and got it again that I was compelled to start writing a blog. I wanted to share my journey when I realised I was going to have to have my transplant. All I knew is that I would win and wanted to share that journey with you.
Yesterday I went back through my blog and looked at some of what I have written over the past year. The posts I was reading began to touch me, it made me feel I was reading someone else’s journey not mine. I know this sounds strange but I started to like the person who had written them. Yea I started to like myself. It’s amazing how I have turned the pain around to me saying ” you have pain, because you have life” yes of course we are not super human and have to listen to our bodies. After all we get pain for a reason right. Mine is because chemo has damaged the ends of my nerves, but surely the pain free option would have not been the best for those around me that loved me. I have pain because I chose to fight and to beat cancer the way that I did. Yea there was a 1 in 4 chance I would not make it, the pain reminds me I made it everyday.
Pain is a reminder of how strong we are and were is it not?
Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)
It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.
So much happens in this world I don’t understand, I don’t know about you. I do know one thing though, that is all I want in writing is to love and be loved. My first ever post I was a scared little boy in the blogging world. I knew not what to expect from that world. But the world I was most scared of was the cancer one. Saying the word cancer has a scary familierlarity that scares me now. I don’t want to be familiar with cancer, I don’t even want it to have a place in my life. But that said, I have fear in my heart for other people that may set off on the very journey I did. This journey has become about others not myself. Not my progress but the building of belief in others that they can.
It reminds me of a story written by someone else, but here is my interpretation. Two people ( they can be male or female) ) they are in hospital. One is not able to sit up and see out of the Window, the other is able. Everyday the one that is able is asked by the one that is not. “What do you see outside” each day the story is of sunshine, success and children playing together happily. Day after day the stories were the same. Sunshine, happiness and peace. Until one day when the one that was not able to sit up to see out the window sat up. To find he could only see a wall, there was no playground, no sunshine and no laughing children. Yet everyday in the mind of the healing person they saw happiness, saw smiles and felt happiness through the stories the other person shared with them.
The stories were giving hope, love and happiness to a body that needed to heal. We all have the chance each day to say something nice. I remember on Monday yesterday even laughing with my family, even heartily did we laugh even though the pain I felt was immense. Right there at that moment, or moments. With my wife, mum, dad, nephew, and sister in law. Who I would love to be my actual sister laughed heartily and loved completely. Is that not what the person that could see out of the window did. In doing so gave hope and helped another’s recovery.
We are a circle connected, if you help another in that circle you belong. You help. You have giving hope to another. Is that not an amazing thing to do, should not we all do this for someone everyday.?
This last 5 days have been tough, but there have been times of laughter and I have remembered good times. My advice. Hold onto the good times, and make as many times good as you can. Those moments only come once then they are gone forever.
Fonz
P s thank you for all you do and are going to do for another.
Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)
It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.
What does marriage mean to you. A commitment to another, a life of compromise because there is another person always to think of. Is it a mill stone around your neck, something you are scared of. Maybe you think that marriage means something else to you. Well here is my take on being married put how only I can. I would like to make it simple, for you yourself to even remove all of what you perceive marriage to be at this point and imagine life as a block.
So there is life right in front of you, with or without a person with you, married to you. Life still is there, it’s in its form that you imagine in your mind. I see is as a block, that weighs a certain weight. We all have them it’s just when we are single that block has to be carried oround by ourselves. No one next to us to lighten the load, no one to help to make the load lighter, and easier to handle.
Marriage for me means a lot of things, the main one being that two people are moving in the same direction helping the other person in the life that they live. They don’t place demands and expectations on what they think should be marriage. They make the journey easier, the person that walks along side you has hold of the same block that you have and push or pull in the same direction. The person that wants the marriage to go in a direction that is opposite to the intended direction of the marriage. That person adds weight, creates problems and makes life harder for the other person to live. People that do that in a marriage, are selfish. They styfal the possibilities of what can be achieved together. See that’s just it isn’t it, if it’s a friendship, which of course is what a marriage is first off. Then that friendship should make your life better, more fun, more bearable, fill the air with laughter, shared dreams and of course love for each other.
See I have always said that, the perfect marriage is two people that always put each other first, think about the other before themselves. Many things have come true since me and Andie have been married, many ambitions that we both have worked towards have come to fruition. Like my wife’s career for one, where we live, beating cancer twice together. Many things have been undertaken, not only undertaken but successfully achieved TOGETHER. Many people do not achieve, because they have a partner that is so demanding. So the partner has to work harder to meet the demands, of their partner as opposed to working together to achieve each and every goal together. A marriage makes dreams come true, a marriage brings freedom of life. Makes life more pleasurable, bearable maybe but most definetley easier. If a person is holding you back, it’s due to either an illness or something that the other person wants to benefit from. For me the block ‘life’ will always be there. The wife I have by my side makes that block lighter and easier for me to bear, I know that my involvement in Andies life makes her life easier to. Many ambitions my wife has had we have achieved together, not counting the cost but enjoying the smile of happiness on each other’s faces. Is not seeing a look of joy so much better than despair, of course it does not happen over night. It takes time and effort and conversations discovering what the other persons desires in life are.
One thing is for certain, that is I am much happier married than I ever was single. I thank God for my wife, and OUR life that we have together. It’s not one persons life anymore, it’s two lives joining together as one. Continuing together in the same direction.
Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)
It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.
Strange isn’t it, why people get so upset at not being with a partner anymore. I mean let’s look at why they are and X. We are not talking about x’s that became that because they breathed their last breath. We are talking about why it ended, why there is no we anymore. I guess at some point in this post I will start thinking about my own X’s but I want to look at the reason people are not with someone, not people I was with personally. It’s the same with friends though don’t they become X friends. After all is not a relationship first, it is a friendship first and foremost.
Think about the people in your life, think about what they mean to you, the sort of things you do when you are with them. I bet most of those images involve laughter. I would even go so far as to say, if you have a picture in your mind that’s sadness or solum. It’s either because of illness or selfishness, so many people in friendships want a friendship that benefits them. There is actually nothing wrong with that as long as they give as much to you as you do to them. Two way so to speak.
I have X friends since I got cancer, people that found it to on sided to help me through cancer because they were getting nothing in return. As my wife says often, true friends are the ones that push the limo when it breaks down. We can all enjoy the moments in life where it’s all going swimmingly, but true friendship is shown in hardships. A true reflection of a true friendship is that you accept the person for who they are no matter what. That who ever they are you don’t want to change, and You don’t ever say sentences like. “If you were” “if you just did” a true friend accepts you for who you are.
Being in a relationship is not just about looks, shape, aspects you like and dislike, Chemistry, it’s about acceptance of where someone is at, I have not thought about an X once whilst writing this. Because me and my wife have everything we need in each other, even though there may be the odd thing that winds me up and I am sure that there are many more from me to her. But we accept each other no matter what. An X would be someone that did not accept you and I bet they wanted to change you, or you wanted to change them. Life is so much happier when you can accept your friend for who they are, and not want to change them.
Just remember this, if they are an X it’s because they did not make your life easier. They wanted you to be a you that was not you. Now that would not be you now would it. So be happy they are an X because you learned what not to have in your future friendship or relationship. It was good that that became an X and in your future will be someone who accepts you without wanting you to be someone different.
Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)
It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.
It’s a tough old challenge to make happen some times, I set it for myself. To blog everyday for 365 days straight, I am still on target although I am having a bit of a break this weekend. I hope you don’t mind, but my wife has the weekend off so I am going to spend it with her. We are going to hold hands, walk, talk, eat, and generally enjoy spending time together.
I think it’s vital to make sure that my marriage remains healthy. It’s all very well taking on a challenge that huge. But Andie is my world and not to be neglected. She got her last management feedback last nigh before entering into the executive world. I could not be more proud. That lady has helped me though cancer in a year and maintained an impeccable record working full time. Now there is one amazing girl. I am incredibly proud of her, and whilst she won’t like me putting it out there, it won’t change that I am proud of her.
It’s time for us now and I am gonna enjoy it, it’s rare she has time off call, faithy is coming to. I will take some pictures today and no doubt blog about where we have been and what we have done later. Until then, have a great day everyone. Don’t forget the people that love is in our daily lives, they are after all the people we have chosen to love forever. Whilst I love blogging, and all you bloggers that have decided I am value enough for you to follow. We all have lives and people that we need to give to in the physical.
Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)
It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.
Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.
Hear me out, I am after all new to this. I have an idea it has no rules, but this is how it works.
Pick someone that’s liked a post on your blog, preferably someone you have not followed and they don’t follow you.
Then find a blog you like and like it, and comment if you like.
Repeat 3-5 times.
Lastly share this idea
That’s it but do it every day that’s possible.
Your blog will grow with people that have similar interests, and maybe some that are not. One thing is for sure though, your life will be enriched because you are encouraging someone.
It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.
Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.
Throughout my life there have been many stages, but one lesson I would say is perhaps the hardest, or maybe took the longest. Was to learn to love myself, you see most people blame situations people, ( I was dealt a bad hand) my friend says it like. The people in the pub that have a woulda coulda story – if only it was not for such and such. Well it’s all a load of rubbish. Absolute BS. Our future is in our hands but unfortunately, if we don’t live ourselves we will find life is so much harder than it would otherwise be should we be happy with who we are. We have to become that person that when the person who is looking back, your content with. I am not saying the full article because no human is ever the ful article in my opinion. We learn until the day we die if always want to improve ourselves.
I personally want to better today than I was yesterday, I think they call it growing. Always learning and always becoming a better you. Let me put it this way, a house needs solid foundations to last. Without solid foundations there will be cracks in the plaster in time, bricks will move and the house will become unstable. Loving yourself is the foundation for everything we build on top of it, a relationship, the ability to live with your whole heart, holding down a good job, respect from others. No one will respect you if you don’t respect yourself.
I found the right person to marry because I had found myself in travelling Australia, yup that’s what it took for me. It was not till I was 36 and a broken marriage behind me that I became truly happy with the reflection in my mirror. Very late in life I would say, but at least I got there in the end. Cancer has honed me, made me a better more rounded person enabling me to see life through the eyes of a disability. The disability being the disabling treatments that my cancer demanded. In your life you will have your own challenges, but what ever happens in your life love the person who you are before you build a life.
It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.
Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.
I read an article today on a site called Had cancer, talking about different ways that we feel sometimes years after having had chemotheropy. Some doctors say it does not exsist, (apparently) I have never had this exsperience with doctors myself but then I am quite a large person both physically and in personality. After reading the article I realised that maybe I could write about the very thing that frustrates me so much. So let me explain how it is for me as a cancer patient that like the person who wrote the article. I had cancer!
So for me when I was having chemo, even my first chemo (mine was very strong) it had to be I was at 4 a and in a bad way. Close to losing my life and riddled with cancer. Remember in previous blogs I have talked about chemo feeling like snakes in your head, it did. Sometimes your head even hurts as you remember stuff, but then your brain is a muscle. It has lots of connections in the brain that need to work in a certain way. Now I am not a doctor, but it makes sense to me that maybe the brain has been affected in a small way by the drugs pumped into my body. I do forget things where I didn’t before. So I have to write things down to remember them. Where as before I really never did I just remembered.
Trust me no cancer patient uses it as an excuse, after all who wants to forget? I look like a Pratt sometimes because I repeat myself, repeat myself. Seriously though it’s embarrassing.
Picture by Fine acupuncture.com
People that have not had cancer will never understand how it affects a human being. How can they, we must excuse their ignorance in not trying to even understand. I have been insulted, even misjudged by people close to me. I have to realise it’s not something they will understand unless they try to. Walking around pointing the finger at someone suffering does not help anyone.
Chemo brain can last for years so if it’s you, know it’s a possible normal for you. It’s frustrating because people may get annoyed at you, no one will understand unless they have researched what you maybe feeling. It does not mean we have lost our intelligence. It means we have been affected by chemothearopy, our memories may not be up to scratch but it does not mean we are inadequate. Far from it, chemo brain is real. But the fact is that chemo brain is much more frustrating for the person with it than it is for the person communicating with that person. Have a great day and know that your not alone, there are I suspect many that will read this and realise that it’s normal and even feel a bit better about it. Because others feel what they do.
It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.
Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.
Do you know the differance? Ok well here is my take on it. If your a friend to someone you will listen to understand what they are going through or facing. If you listen to reply, you are more interested in what your opinion is than helping the person to deal with the problem they are telling you about. God, if you believe there is a God ( I do). When he made us made us with 2 ears and one mouth, interesting don’t you think? Does that not mean we should listen more than we speak, sounds daft as I write this as I love speaking, but I also love to solution stuff. The only way we can solution is by listening, I love coming up with answers to situations. But hate jigsaws.
For a long time in my life I thought that people wanted to hear my opinion, when in fact the person that really wanted to hear my opinion was Me. I was a selfish person in some ways, even though my motive may have been good the result of my motive was to reply with my opinion.
I have realised that by listening your learning, and when your speaking you are not learning anything at all. It’s a skill to listen and one I am working on everyday, as I endeavour to complete my challenge of blogging everyday for a whole year. 365 days. I am busy learning to as I get feedback from people, people that care, some are surprised that I am nearly 3/4 of the way through and still am doing what I said I would do. I know it’s helping people be use people are telling me and I am listening. Using the skill I am honing to listen to other people to understand as opposed to reply.
Listening to understand not only gives us more knowledge but also it helps us to understand people and their situations. Which I turn gives us experience. The one thing about exsperience is you can’t buy it, you can buy someone to tell us from their exsperience, but if we want to have exsperience we have no choice but to listen and learn from someone else. Because that’s what listening to understand does. It gives us the exsperience that we can call on in another situation in the future. We may be able to recall what we have learnt and help us in our very own situation. This may mean nothing to you, you may think you know what I am saying and don’t need to hear it. If that’s the case then you will not learn anything.
It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.
Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.
This is what one of the richest men ever to become wealthy thought of life. Some of the things I have been saying in my blogs… This writing may not be exact, some think incorrect. I just think the words are perfect and for all mankind!
Steve Jobs’ Last Words –
I reached the pinnacle of success in the business world.
In others’ eyes, my life is an epitome of success.
However, aside from work, I have little joy. In the end, wealth is only a fact of life that I am accustomed to.
At this moment, lying on the sick bed and recalling my whole life, I realize that all the recognition and wealth that I took so much pride in, have paled and become meaningless in the face of impending death.
In the darkness, I look at the green lights from the life supporting machines and hear the humming mechanical sounds, I can feel the breath of god of death drawing closer…
Now I know, when we have accumulated sufficient wealth to last our lifetime, we should pursue other matters that are unrelated to wealth…
Should be something that is more important:
Perhaps relationships, perhaps art, perhaps a dream from younger days …
Non-stop pursuing of wealth will only turn a person into a twisted being, just like me.
God gave us the senses to let us feel the love in everyone’s heart, not the illusions brought about by wealth.
The wealth I have won in my life I cannot bring with me.
What I can bring is only the memories precipitated by love.
That’s the true riches which will follow you, accompany you, giving you strength and light to go on.
Love can travel a thousand miles. Life has no limit. Go where you want to go. Reach the height you want to reach. It is all in your heart and in your hands.
What is the most expensive bed in the world? – “Sick bed” …
You can employ someone to drive the car for you, make money for you but you cannot have someone to bear the sickness for you.
Material things lost can be found. But there is one thing that can never be found when it is lost – “Life”.
When a person goes into the operating room, he will realize that there is one book that he has yet to finish reading – “Book of Healthy Life”.
Whichever stage in life we are at right now, with time, we will face the day when the curtain comes down.
Treasure Love for your family, love for your spouse, love for your friends…
Treat yourself well. Cherish others.
Look after each other
This is a must read, a true story that has touched my heart!
As I walked home one freezing day, I stumbled on a wallet someone had lost in the street. I picked it up and looked inside to find some identification so I could call the owner. But the wallet contained only three dollars and a crumpled letter that looked as if it had been in there for years.
The envelope was worn and the only thing that was legible on it was the return address. I started to open the letter, hoping to find some clue. Then I saw the dateline–1924. The letter had been written almost 60 years ago.
It was written in a beautiful feminine handwriting on powder blue stationery with a little flower in the left-hand corner. It was a “Dear John” letter that told the recipient, whose name appeared to be Michael, that the writer could not see him anymore because her mother forbade it. Even so, she wrote that she would always love him.
It was signed, Hannah.
It was a beautiful letter, but there was no way except for the name Michael, that the owner could be identified. Maybe if I called information, the operator could find a phone listing for the address on the envelope.
“Operator,” I began, “this is an unusual request. I’m trying to find the owner of a wallet that I found. Is there anyway you can tell me if there is a phone number for an address that was on an envelope in the wallet?”
She suggested I speak with her supervisor, who hesitated for a moment then said, “Well, there is a phone listing at that address, but I can’t give you the number.” She said, as a courtesy, she would call that number, explain my story and would ask them if they wanted her to connect me.
I waited a few minutes and then she was back on the line. “I have a party who will speak with you.”
I asked the woman on the other end of the line if she knew anyone by the name of Hannah. She gasped, “Oh! We bought this house from a family who had a daughter named Hannah. But that was 30 years ago!”
“Would you know where that family could be located now?” I asked.
“I remember that Hannah had to place her mother in a nursing home some years ago,” the woman said. “Maybe if you got in touch with them they might be able to track down the daughter.”
She gave me the name of the nursing home and I called the number. They told me the old lady had passed away some years ago but they did have a phone number for where they thought the daughter might be living.
I thanked them and phoned. The woman who answered explained that Hannah herself was now living in a nursing home.
This whole thing was stupid, I thought to myself. Why was I making such a big deal over finding the owner of a wallet that had only three dollars and a letter that was almost 60 years old?
Nevertheless, I called the nursing home in which Hannah was supposed to be living and the man who answered the phone told me, “Yes, Hannah is staying with us.”
Even though it was already 10 p.m., I asked if I could come by to see her. “Well,” he said hesitatingly, “if you want to take a chance, she might be in the day room watching television.”
I thanked him and drove over to the nursing home. The night nurse and a guard greeted me at the door. We went up to the third floor of the large building. In the day room, the nurse introduced me to Hannah.
She was a sweet, silver-haired oldtimer with a warm smile and a twinkle in her eye. I told her about finding the wallet and showed her the letter. The second she saw the powder blue envelope with that little flower on the left, she took a deep breath and said, “Young man, this letter was the last contact I ever had with Michael.”
She looked away for a moment deep in thought and then said softly, “I loved him very much. But I was only 16 at the time and my mother felt I was too young. Oh, he was so handsome. He looked like Sean Connery, the actor.”
“Yes,” she continued. “Michael Goldstein was a wonderful person. If you should find him, tell him I think of him often. And,” she hesitated for a moment, almost biting her lip, “tell him I still love him. You know,” she said smiling as tears began to well up in her eyes, “I never did marry. I guess no one ever matched up to Michael…”
I thanked Hannah and said goodbye. I took the elevator to the first floor and as I stood by the door, the guard there asked, “Was the old lady able to help you?”
I told him she had given me a lead. “At least I have a last name. But I think I’ll let it go for a while. I spent almost the whole day trying to find the owner of this wallet.”
I had taken out the wallet, which was a simple brown leather case with red lacing on the side. When the guard saw it, he said, “Hey, wait a minute! That’s Mr. Goldstein’s wallet. I’d know it anywhere with that bright red lacing. He’s always losing that wallet. I must have found it in the halls at least three times.”
“Who’s Mr. Goldstein?” I asked as my hand began to shake.
“He’s one of the oldtimers on the 8th floor. That’s Mike Goldstein’s wallet for sure. He must have lost it on one of his walks.” I thanked the guard and quickly ran back to the nurse’s office. I told her what the guard had said. We went back to the elevator and got on. I prayed that Mr. Goldstein would be up.
On the eighth floor, the floor nurse said, “I think he’s still in the day room. He likes to read at night. He’s a darling old man.”
We went to the only room that had any lights on and there was a man reading a book. The nurse went over to him and asked if he had lost his wallet. Mr. Goldstein looked up with surprise, put his hand in his back pocket and said, “Oh, it is missing!”
“This kind gentleman found a wallet and we wondered if it could be yours?”
I handed Mr. Goldstein the wallet and the second he saw it, he smiled with relief and said, “Yes, that’s it! It must have dropped out of my pocket this afternoon. I want to give you a reward.”
“No, thank you,” I said. “But I have to tell you something. I read the letter in the hope of finding out who owned the wallet.”
The smile on his face suddenly disappeared. “You read that letter?”
“Not only did I read it, I think I know where Hannah is.”
He suddenly grew pale. “Hannah? You know where she is? How is she? Is she still as pretty as she was? Please, please tell me,” he begged.
“She’s fine…just as pretty as when you knew her.” I said softly.
The old man smiled with anticipation and asked, “Could you tell me where she is? I want to call her tomorrow.” He grabbed my hand and said, “You know something, Mister? I was so in love with that girl that when that letter came, my life literally ended. I never married. I guess I’ve always loved her.”
“Mr. Goldstein,” I said, “Come with me.”
We took the elevator down to the third floor. The hallways were darkened and only one or two little night-lights lit our way to the day room where Hannah was sitting alone watching the television. The nurse walked over to her.
“Hannah,” she said softly, pointing to Michael, who was waiting with me in the doorway. “Do you know this man?”
She adjusted her glasses, looked for a moment, but didn’t say a word. Michael said softly, almost in a whisper, “Hannah, it’s Michael. Do you remember me?”
She gasped, “Michael! I don’t believe it! Michael! It’s you! My Michael!” He walked slowly towards her and they embraced. The nurse and I left with tears streaming down our faces.
“See,” I said. “See how the Good Lord works! If it’s meant to be, it will be.”
About three weeks later I got a call at my office from the nursing home. “Can you break away on Sunday to attend a wedding? Michael and Hannah are going to tie the knot!”
It was a beautiful wedding with all the people at the nursing home dressed up to join in the celebration. Hannah wore a light beige dress and looked beautiful. Michael wore a dark blue suit and stood tall. They made me their best man.
The hospital gave them their own room and if you ever wanted to see a 76-year-old bride and a 79-year-old groom acting like two teenagers, you had to see this couple.
A perfect ending for a love affair that had lasted nearly 60 years.
Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.
Who you were you cannot change, but what you become is in your hands. You can be what ever you want to be, do what ever you want to do. You can achieve what ever you want to achieve. It’s believing what you say is true. You see for you to achieve what you want to achieve it means you first have to believe it’s possible then step out in faith putting one foot in front of the other, and move forward. You see the further you move forwards the dimmer the light of your “what was” will be. Of course I am meaning for my cancer journey, it’s not something I want or need to remember. The more days I live without cancer, the more I believe it’s possible to have a future with out it.
Whilst this blog will be short, it’s just to remind you and me. That because we have had cancer and are in remmission, this does not define us as a person. Even if you are having treatment it does not define you, what defines you is what you do right now. What you choose to become, your not defined by what someone thinks of you, what their opinion is, is not for you to know. What matters is what you want out of this life, if that’s to sit with your head in your hands blaming God knows what as to the reason you have cancer. That’s your choice, and that is what defines you. But I want you to know that you have the choice everyday to leave that past behind you. The definition of you is in your hands.
You are so much more than you are today.
Fonz
http://www.fonzandcancer.com
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@fonzmark
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It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.
Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.
Today I went to see Roy and Vickie, we talked seamlessly for over 2 hours. It was a really pleasant time, Roy shared with me his cancer story. It was a good time, I was asked the same question as Dave and Anne asked me though. “Do I ever get down” so now I will tell you how I cope with that, how I did cope with that, and hopefully what makes me feel like that.
It’s hard to know where to start really, because people seem to think I am some kind of infalable being that just gets on an does it. (Not true) it’s hard for me to talk about being weak, as it’s not in my nature to show that side of me. However the bible talks about when I am weak then he is strong. Don’t get me wrong I am not going to come across all religious on you, but this is how it happened to me. I remember quite distinctly the day that I realised beating cancer was not possible, cancer stories did not exsist then. I know if it had I would most certainly have coped better, I remember watching a movie I think it was called the awakening. Robert de Nero played a part of someone who deteriated badly, I remember how I wept the know the audible crying, feeling like you are out of control. I dropped to my knees that night, I cryed out loud. Please help me if your there, I can’t do this alone. I was not finding it hard fighting cancer, I could no longer do it anymore. It was just a wave of negativity that flooded my being, it would not be the last either. That was just the beginning of digging to the deepest you thought possible,my then having to dig deeper again.
Us humans are stubborn when it comes to losing our lives, or I was anyway. I had found the recipe for the rest of my life, a good wife, a great house. My little sports car, my faith but the one thing that was holding all that together was my health. Even so, no matter how sick I felt I always got up, I remember one day when I did not get up till 5 pm. There being a cold chill in my room, it felt like I was being taken. Dieing, that I was slipping away. I felt like I was being pulled out of a sleeping bag as they tried to take my life. I refused and fought like hell that day, getting up for tea time. I dare not sleep that day and night drinking plenty of fluid, feeling like snakes were in my head. The drugs I was on were pioneering drugs, as I was on a trial for a new drug that I agreed to have put in my body. Eventually over Christmas 2011 I finished my chemo and had the Christmas they said I would not have without the treatment. Apparently I had gotten into remission. No fan fare no party, they were just words that I did not believe. I felt all along it was still there!
I was explaining today how my cancer hid, and although I was supposed to be in remission. I knew the cancer cells were hiding in my bones. I could feel them almost laughing at me. Non of the scans picked it up, as they were rougue cells and scanners only picked up clusters. Everyday I would get up and wonder if today was the day it would show itself. Although I did put faith into practice by buying a Labrador and calling her Faith as that’s what I needed to get into remmission.
I remember when it came back again (hard recalling this) coiling up into a ball and crying my heart out. The consultant had told me I would have to have my bone marrow removed, and have a stem cell transplant. This was to be done in isolation in a tiny room. Excuse my language, but how in the hell could I possibly do that, were they mad! I could see no way. For me it was a step to far, an impossible ask. I ached hopelessly inside, I asked time and time again if there was another option. Non what so ever this was my only hope, no more life for me with out it. It made me shake, I would be physically sick at the thought.
In everyone of those moments, I made myself read positivity. Quotes from the bible, positive people on Twitter, Google and many other places just positives. Friends, family, everyone was only to speak positively to me. No moaning. When I finally got into the room. That big silverback became a weak hopeless human, put into the hands of medicine.
The day I became nutrapenic, I felt really strange I left my body and even though I was talking to Andie, I felt like I was actually leaving the planet. I held on tight to Andies hand, I believed it was to early. That what was the point in me being the one who did not make it surely there was a reason for me having this. As I hovered above myself I remember hearing the words “not yet” I don’t know who said them but it certainly was a comfort to me. The day before that I had been sat by the window shaking violently, imagining myself timing sheets together to escape. The door was always open, I could have left at any time, it was not escape from Alcatraz. That’s what being neutapenic made me feel.
So my friends, all of these things I felt, some I still feel. I know what the guilt feels like, to have made it where others don’t. That’s the only “why me” sentence I have said. Remember this, when you think there is no more to give. There always is, with determination AND FAITH you. “yes you” can do ANYTHING. Don’t give up, because you have friends.
It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.
Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.
Strange title you think? Really? Well if you think it’s strange you have not seen someone in remission, fight and win or you think cancer has taken loved ones to soon. You see for me whilst I have fought like hell and won, along the way I have found inspirational people, people that I would not have met had it not been for cancer. Cancer stories has given everyone there the gift of friendship with someone.
People around the world have been put in touch with each other and are talking to each other about the journey they had, and encouraging another who maybe facing the same journey. A couple of online papers have talked about what we have done, people message me with kindness. Giving encouragement to me to carry on blogging. If I am honest, I am exhausted today, finding it hard to stay awake even. Someone said the other day, cancer is the gift that keeps on giving. I am not sure if that was meant in a negative or positive way. But most certainly our attitude to what we face can help us, or hinder our progress. The daft thing is, by holding our head in our hands does in fact hinder us.
It’s only by standing up and choosing to face cancer and all that goes with it, that we find some good in the journey of Hell called cancer. For instance my friends Dave and Anne we would not know had we not been affected by cancer, we would not know those lovely people that are most certainly an asset to our lives most certainly not a hinderance. Anne serves a mean chocolate eclair and not just any eclair either. Only mns in their house. We have come into contact with many people with great hearts, even gaining a sister along the way. Cancer whilst attempting to take my life has given us gifts, not without looking for the gifts did we find them though.
The fact of the matter is though that cancer comes with some positivity once we are able to see through the pain that it gave to us, be it death, physical pain, disability, cancer helps us to value what ever we have left, it gives us a new way to look at life. Only being touched by cancer can we see this way of looking at the world. Because without cancer I would not have the sensitivity towards people I have now, and the tanasity to turn away from negativity. Each minute becomes more precious than before and there is no room in it to be wasted around anyone that has an inability to look at the positives that life has to offer.
Enjoy today, it’s a great day.
Fonz
Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.
Some may have put, things they don’t want to happen this year, but I prefer to have a positive spin on things. There are lots of things I want to happen but I guess the no 1 I need to put last. The opposite to what you would expect in the hope that you read the whole blog 😆.
So in no particular order apart from my no1 which will be last.
I Want to be a 34 ” waist I keep kidding myself I am a 36″ but all my jeans are stretching, as I have to breath in to put them on.
To get out in Trevor more this year.
To write better than ever before.
To get 200 followers on my WordPress account.
To help more people in 2016 than I did in 2015.
To do the jobs I said I would do in 2015 in 2016.
To pick up my nephew Zac from school just once in Trevor.
To fulfil an ambition (I will blog about that when it happens)
To not voice my disappointments, but accept its not my problem to deal with.
To put my wife before anyone else ALL year. ( I believe I do that every year) nothing wrong with a bit of consistency.
To complete my 365 day blog challenge. I have completed 249 so far.
To get 1000 a day average view ( maybe unattainable ) I am not that good yet.
To encourage more people in their own blogging experience.
Lastly to remain cancer free!
I do not want cancer in my life at all from now on, but it does take effort to eat well and not binge on anything, like sweet things, pop, chocolate, ect. Eating well takes effort and Percy verance . Staying away from processed foods makes a huge difference to. Some processed foods for example – farmed salmon have canceragenic Properties. It’s a huge subject and one I want to learn more about this year.
Have you written down some goals for this year? Thanks to all of you that read and share with out you my blogs would be just read by friends and family. Thank you.
Have a great week, see this Monday as a new start and a new opportunity. NOT the Monday feeling of the holiday is over.
It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.
Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.
How many times did I watch Tony heart, he was one of life’s inspirers. He encouraged children to do works of art, I will never forget what you gave us and me Tony. Wow such a loss.. I will not forget you. This happened in 2009 but I love to remember people. I figure by blogging it’s there forever.
I love to make small tributes to people’s lives that have affected our now. Now morph did not affect it, but he did and has made me laugh many times I wonder what you remember?
Did you know this is a kind of bullying, even a form of abuse. Many people reject someone because of the way they look, maybe because they have some kind of desease. During my cancer journey I have been rejected by so many people that do not understand cancer. We have all felt it in our lives, we know what it’s like to not be liked by the kid on the street, or the work colleague that excludes you. I guess people reject anything or anyone that is not the same as them.
I used to get very scared as a young boy, because when I was bullied I would get into trouble at home as well. Because more often than not I would get my coat stolen or bleed on a new shirt. I without doubt suffered rejection allot in my life, especially by the bullies on the bus. I have chosen to show love to all people and smile at and with people, I have chosen a path where I don’t judge everyone I meet, I choose to love everyone I meet. People want to bury their heads in the sand and pretend it’s not happened or happening. Well sorry for those that want a quiet life and for the truth to be unspoken, or just not speak of it. I have many things I wish to speak about, from now on I will, I won’t keep my thoughts under lock and key anymore. The world will know the truth and that truth shall set me free.
I have learned how to love, because I have been shown what true love is, it’s consistency, acceptance, and putting the other person first ALWAYS.
It’s 1 Corinthians 13
1 Corinthians 13New International Version (NIV) While I hope to be some of 1 Corinthians every day, I do know I am not perfect. But do my best every day.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails.
It’s my wife that has taught me what consistency is, what home is. For the first time in my life as an adult I know what home feels like. The time before that I was 4,5,6 yrs old when we lived in Brighton now it’s in southport. I have lived here for nearly 6 years and even though I have fought off the beast called cancer whilst living here. It still feels like home. That feeling when you put the log fire on and settle down with our dog by my side and my wife with me, along with the cat stretched out in front of the fire. My home is not just a place to live, it’s a place where I feel welcome, loved and wanted by all the people that live here. That’s after all my safe place, a place where we don’t hurt each other, a place where we feel warm secure and needed. No feeling of rejection will anyone feel in our home, because our home is a place of safety.
Rejection in cancer exsists in everyone’s journey I am finding out, it’s sad that people cut other’s off or alienate them because they are not well . It’s not just people with cancer either, it’s people that are misunderstood. People facing a situation that quite frankly the person who does not understand it does not even bother to find out about it.
If that’s you and you need support there is a group of people that have had similar experiences called cancer stories
You will be welcomed there, people who have had similar exsperiences and can empathise with you. So know your not alone, it’s common place in cancer but there is love and support out there from people that understand what you are feeling and experience. People there have been where you are and will do what we can for you.
Have a good day
Fonz
Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.
Wow this week has been amazing! It’s now Saturday my worst day in stats on wordpress is always a Saturday. But yesterday, New Year’s Day. Broke more records than Elton John. I had more likes yesterday than any other day, more followers follow my blog than any other day and my blog had been read by more people than ever before. As you can imagine I was really chuffed, I was chuffed for a couple of reasons. My main reason though was that more people were obviously interested in my writings therefore more people were being encouraged by the hell I had been through. Meaning my consistency in blogging was and is worth it.
As you can see from the picture 467 ain’t bad for a new blogger right? Or am I wrong, am I still not doing so good? The feeling is good that I have I mean in the same week there was a day with 967 views I mean that’s nearly a thousand. More than all the pupils that went to my high school!
There are my stats for the week last night. So what’s the point of today’s blog. Well it’s to thank all of you for reading and making New Year’s Day a special day for me in 2016 it’s a great start. So thank you! I was getting dispondent that is until yesterday when I also met another blogger called hugsandblessings she encouraged me and it was then that I realised, you need me like I need you. That you need me to help others read your blog, and I need you for the same reason. I know it’s obvious but it was like a eureka moment. God bless you all.
Lastly to all of you that are dispondent like I was, seeing my weekly stats dwindle week on week. If you help others by telling others about someone else they will help you out naturally. Have a healthy new year everyone, I am hopefully going to enjoy a cancer free year. Now that’s worth fighting for.
Have a great weekend
Fonz
Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.
It so sad that this has to happen to each and everyone of us, Natalie Cole dieing. Whilst sad, exstemly sad. She has without doubt left behind a legacy encouraged by her dad, Nat King Cole.
So now it’s time for us to miss you like crazy Natalie. Thanks so much for the legacy you have left, you will never be forgotten.
This lady was part of my childhood, and of so many more around the world. No amount of money can stop the enevitable, it just makes me so much more than ever before want to make a differance in the short life that I have.
Who has the right to stop you from being who you are, no one. I myself pride myself on being the person that says yes to my wife, the person that encourages her to achieve her goals. That’s why she drives the car she does, that’s why she has the opportunities she does. I have no right to stop her being who she is, no one has the right to stop you either. I read a blog today, in the blog she spoke about. If you want a burger have it, I agree. We only get one chance at this life so be who you are, don’t dress yourself up with all the pretentious shite people seem to want to do these days. I refuse to be in a place where there are people, that expect of me in a certain way.
What of that? Does that make me selfish, or does that make me an individual. So many people follow each other’s example, mimicking them almost. Why is it then that a Billionaire wants to have something no one in the world has. Well I think it’s because they can afford to. I want to be the person I am from now on, why? Because I have fought for these days and there is nowhere, no place for people to attempt, to Mold me into something I am not. In this life and in this year. Are you going to follow the masses, or are you going to be the person you want to be.
You see by “fitting in” some people call it, you are effectively pleasing those around you and not yourself. My wife is an individual, I don’t own her I am not her boss. But what I am is someone who encourages her to be the person she feels comfortable with.
The only change you need to make in 2016 is to be TRUE to yourself. Those that want me to fit in are in for a shock because it’s not what I will be doing with my life from now on. I will be being myself and I will be unconcerned what others opinions are. At the same time being interested to hear what someone’s thoughts on a subject are. Cancer has gone, I am here.
It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.
Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.
2015 review, wow where do I start. Well I guess that would be 1st January 2015 but that’s not where the year began for me I began on the lads holiday 2014. When I felt a lump in my neck and knew I had to mention it to my consultant on my appointment 2 days after landing back in the uk. That led to an operation then ICE chemotherapy each cycle done over a 3 day period, in Feb, March and April then Beam chemo in isolation for 6 days and nights in May. completing 30 full days of chemotherapy in 5 years.
Just to explain a little what it took for the transplant, for those who know nothing of what’s required. Stem cell harvest wes allot of fun having a canular in one arm and a 1.5 mm needle in the other whilst they took my blood out harvested it in a machine, then put it back in my body. The whole process lasts about 5 hours repeated on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday until I had 4 million cells were collected.
I remember on one particular day, a gentleman sat opposite, he has a hicc an line in so the needle was not required. You can’t move at all for the 5 hours, and watching his son eat a Burger King did make me salavate some what and get food envy.
The transplant itself lasted 3 weeks laid in a bed in a room 15 ft X 12 ft. With only a tv and an I pad for company. The nurses who I can’t name made the Experience more bearable, I can’t name the staff at the Royal Liverpool but they are an amazing team as are the team in the MDU at southport. Without a doubt our local GP Dr Hindle played a huge part in saving my life.
It was also the start of the first complete year for the group made possible by its 210 members. A group that not only has helped people along the way. It has helped people to help themselves to save their own lives. Needing the very people I had set out to help whilst on a new cancer journey again. You see I was in remission when I set up cancer stories, and although I felt I was not in remission, I hoped it would not return. It did.
Whilst the group has encouraged many, it has also seen much sadness spare a moment as we think of those that have left us.
Noel Smalley
Rita Hodgeon
Becca Parkes
James D peace
There are others that have passed but I am not permitted to speak of them in public.
Sadly missed but not forgotten
It was a year where I strove to get on my lads holiday in Turkey, seeing it as my goal to achieve. I lasted 2 days and came home to find that 24 hours later the hotel was swamped by water. Not a place for someone 100 days out of bone marrow transplant. My friends made the best of what they had, 8 days later going to Mexico with my wife, where we would meet friends for life and enjoy some of the best weather they had seen at that time of year.
Mexico was to end up being our true celebration, not only to have an end to all that treatment, but to finally be declared cancer free once more. The word cured was even used. We celebrated our anniversary 5 years married to my amazing wife, who has been by my side all the way through all my cancer Experience, I can’t bring 2015 to an end with out mentioning someone else. Rachel Brown for allowing Andie to have her time by my side in hospital whilst having my bone marrow transplant.
Finally knowing I have another day each morning is an amazing feeling and as a consequence I never want to waste a moment of it unhappy. We also celebrated Andie turning 40, and hope to make a special announcement soon regarding Andies Carrea.
Outside of my personal experiences and support from family and friends. I want to say thank you to all those at cancer stories there are to many to list, but you all know who you are that reach out to other people sharing your journeys with others encouraging and enthusing people to get themselves into remission. Thank God for hospitals and people that dedicate their lives so we may have life, that we may continue to breath and encourage other people where they are at.
Wasn’t it amazing that 15 people that had never met were able to enjoy a meal together, almost being kicked out after 4 hrs 45 mins of constant chat without a break. A complete privilege. Bless you each and every one.
I have hope in my heart and faith that many of you will improve in 2016, I hope with a hopeful heart that you will know words like remission and cure in between the scans and sunshine, rainy and cloudy days.
Thank you to all of you that have supported us, well it’s time to look forwards now. To buy gym memberships that we will use twice, give up fatty foods for a 2 day diet before we get over our guilt trips and live normally again. Start walking to the shops, until we remember having a car was easier.
Have a great 2016 and all the best
Fonz
Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.
One of the reasons I was able to overcome cancer, was that me and my wife and the friends and family on the journey with us were all pulling together. How I like to explain it is like this.
When ever me and Andie have a problem that needs solving, we talk about it together and work out a strategy together. I see the problem as a block of concrete so big that it cannot be moved by just one person. Both of us need to be pulling the block for it to move. But not only do we have to move it together, we have to both be pulling in the same direction. It’s no good if the idea is split in 2 and 2 people are pulling different ways. Nothing ever gets achieved that way, me and Andie have achieved so much this past year. Tomorrows blog will be thinking about all the things we have achieved together because we are both pulling in one direction.
Andie had an opportunity to be promoted from the role she is in over 12 months ago, it would have been wrong at that time in our lives facing beating cancer again. You see cancer tried to fight me, to bring me down to put me under, defeat me and affect our life in a negative way. Two people like us will never allow a situation to ultimately affect us in a negative way because we choose to work together to make the best of what we DO have. We don’t focus on what we cannot change like people’s actions towards us. The responses of people to us are just something we cannot change, what people chose or choose to do on any day in particular we cannot do anything about. It’s ultimately our response to it that matters, people can say and do hurtful things. It could be deemed bullying or even rejection, we choose together to work together to make the best of everything. Even removing yourself from a negative situation that can’t be changed can help with getting to the destination.
Our new destination for the next phase in our lives we can’t tell you at the moment, but I can tell you that we will be touching more people’s lives than ever before in 2016. There will always be people there to try and take the shine off of what your aiming to do, I get shocked as to where the people come from that try to bring you down with their own limitations which some regard as negativity. You see this is the truth of life. The only person that stops your dream, or restricts it is the very mind that dreams the dream. The problem with big dreams, is the fact that with it brings more possibility for failure. I prefer to dream big and then break that down into successful days, weeks, months, and years.
You are in control of the direction you choose, our direction is by supporting each other in making our dreams come true. I hope your enjoying your next to last day in 2015.
I hope you had a successful 2015. I also hope you enjoy planning your 2016.
Fonz
http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536
It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.
Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.
The only way to do great work is to love what you do. I have a personal addiction, that is to people that are at the top of their game, people that have become the best that’s possible in that field. People that have used a lifetime, becoming the best at what they do. The only have one thing in common, all these people love what they do. They have not seen it as a chore to work, they have seen it as a way of life. Enjoying what they do everyday that some people call work, I am at a cross roads myself. I know what I love to do, I know that I am good at it and hope to pursue it to be the best I can be at it.
I adore encouraging people, I love to give people hope. It’s a passion of mine, I have and do not seek to make a living from it. I just want to make a difference in people’s lives, to help them to see the best in themselves.
I am fascinated by people like Steve jobs, Bill gates, Peter Jones, Duncan Balyntyne, Lewis Hamilton, Guy Martin, to name a few people that inspire me. People that love what they do, people that are passionate about what they do. It was then that I realised something else that they had in common. All of them wanted or want other people to be successful, all of them encourage other people to become the best they can be. Whilst being at the top of their game, they have other people working with them that are also at the top of their game to. I have allot of friends who are at the top of what they do, I am married to one of them. Two people who have been the most influential people on the planet I think are Steve jobs and Bill Gates. These people have made a fortune by helping people to have tec in their hands that can make them money. Something I am using right now. My IPad. Mine is the latest with the biggest memory. That’s thanks to the late Steve Job, also influenced by Bill gates. They both shared similar ethics. Building their company’s on Software, by giving us (the public) the capability of making software by providing us with the tools to make software. In turn helping people to make money at home by making things such as Apps.
I myself have chosen to write a blog a day for a year in the hope of reaching people experiencing cancer treatment, or the effects of cancer. To encourage them that they can win their battle also. I have not found it a chore writing my blogs, because it’s something that I love doing, now whilst I know I am not at the top of my game like Steve jobs was. I do know I am making a difference largely because of his vision to help people to help themselves with the tool for the job. ( no pun intended)
We all have an opportunity, it’s called Life. Are you wasting yours or using yours. That’s the key isn’t it, to use what you have (life) and use it to help others whilst not forgetting that family is THE most important in your life. At the beginning of my blogging journey, I did not really care about my spelling. But now I am starting to care a bit more, to do my best to be the best I can be. I don’t call mistakes failure, I call then lessons and a chance to learn.
I really hope this blog has encouraged you today, if nothing else to not settle until you find what you love to do, in turn doing great work because you love it. If I could only shake the hand of the man that has inspired me to inspire you. If indeed you are inspired.
It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.
Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.
Seems a strange thing to say doesn’t it, thank you cancer, but cancer has given me so much. It came into my life twice and tried to end my life twice. It picked the wrong man, my attitude was always that I would win. Never once did I imagine I would lose. I am fortunate though, if it was not for my mum I would for sure be dead. Had she never told me I should get my lump checked out. See I just thought it was a swollen gland, never even once did I think a lump could possibly kill me! Well it didn’t it came and never realised just how hard it would be to get the better of me. I managed to get the better of it, not without the help of my family and friends.
My blog today Monday 28th December had the best day ever, even surpassing the blog ” The Night I fell in love with Rita’s mum ” now it’s the blog about Steve Job that has now had the most hits, having more hits than the whole of last week in one day. Cancer has given me so many gifts, it has given me a new found wonder in the planet, I get pleasure from small things, our cat laid in front of the fire melts my heart. Children playing fills me with joy, I built a bike up for my friends son today. Seeing his beaming face was priceless. Everything on the planet is more valuable, family time is precious any time with my wife I adore and will not have it ruined.
Birds singing a chorus, fish, laughter. My friend said the other day “Small things can make me tear up” it’s the same for me also. Cancer has given me friends I would not have had, it’s given me the group Cancer stories. It’s given me a desire to have love in the home that I live in. More than ever I did. My dog enjoying a run, so many things I appreciate more because I HAD cancer. For that I have to thank my mum, because without her I would be dead. Thank you Mum.
Try and find your positive in your situation, because if you look they WILL be there.
It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.
Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.
We all have families, some are real loving ones. Some are distant in miles, some are wealthy. I am wealthy in family, because I have a loving wife who loves me dearly and knows me well. I was bought a Star Wars top this year by a family member, one that did not know me or it would never have been considered. It got me thinking though, how can someone that should know me so well get it so wrong. Maybe the time they had with me they never listened to what I liked, maybe they just bought it for me because I should like it. Or maybe it was a pound…..
Well my wife absolutely loves Star Wars, so it was not wasted, I am sure my wife will love wearing it with the picture of the millemem falcon on the front. It’s a man size so she will proberbly wear it as a nighty.. You know I have even watched the latest movie of Star Wars, we went to Liverpool to watch it at the gallery. You see it’s something my wife adores and I would do anything for my wife, and would take her anywhere. When we were sat in the cinema she said these words to me. “The last time I was with someone watching starwars at the cinema, I was with my dad” no previous partner had gone with her to see it because they did not like starwars. Her dad is no longer with us, he died at 59.. Such a short life, cancer took him, he had it in his stomach, maybe it had been there for 20 years. I don’t know if her dad loved starwars, but what I do know is that he went with her.
Taking an interest in what someone loves is priceless, irreplaceable, because taking an interest in something another is interested in is an exsperience. Some people have blinkers on and only tune into their own interests because that’s all that matters to them. Some people don’t like football (like me) but again my wife loves it so I watch it and have banter with her because she loves it. She knows what I am passionate about, and she takes an interest in that also. For us our life is made richer because we learn about each other, I know about her dad and her grandparents, what they liked and disliked where they lived and what part they played in the war. Why because I want to keep the memories of those we lost alive.
I know that my dads love for football came from cricket, from a cricketer who used to also play for Arsenal. “Dennis Compton” his grandson plays for England to this day. How do I know that? Because my wife asked my dad. We then bought him a book on the man he respected, because we knew it would not be a waste of money. I don’t really like cricket either but I bet if you asked my dad he would think I did.. I have even been to meet Ian Botham, because I love people that have managed to be the best they can possibly be. I grew up with cricket and tennis in our house neither of which I love. Although Andy Murray is a pleasure to watch. I do however watch both, because if I try hard enough happy memories of being a boy come back doing the things my mum and dad loved. Playing cricket on the field with my day, and watching tennis with my mum whilst the sausages burnt, on a 14″ black and white tele.
I can’t stand Star Wars, but I love my wife. I know my wife does not wear nail varnish so I don’t buy it her it, my wife is exstemly beautiful and does not need to cake make up on, so I don’t buy it her. Next time I meet with the family we will play a little game. I hope you having a great Christmas break, and don’t forget to get to know the people you love.
It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.
Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.
This Christmas for me is a huge milestone, but I think friends even family (some) have forgotten the previous battles. What it took to win this war. Maybe it’s easier for them to forget, for me what was is always in my now. The effects of what was is in my now. I am real emotional this Christmas, I keep having moments. Now I am not saying this for sympathy, just so that others will know that it’s normal that what I feel is documented. I hope that some day a person will get comfort from reading this blog, even just knowing that your not alone.
People do forget when it’s not happened to them, it’s better for them if you just don’t mention it or even communicate about it. The fact is though that the horror of what I have been through is all still so very real in my present. It’s like a reoccurring nightmare and all I want is to forget for a while. When I am around people I forget, people are like the tonic I need to get through. I want you to know, what I remember is in the form of flash backs. It’s not that I recall anything on purpose, really it’s not a journey that anyone would want to recall on purpose.
All I want and need in my life is health and happiness, there are some people on the planet that naturally love us. There is not effort in that love, because it’s natrual. It’s is a love born out of accepting the other person and not wanting them to change. It has been said, if you are with people that are comfortable with the real you, you are with people that love you. I have friends like that, one is my brother and sister in law. I have some friends like that to, people that are in your lives that accept you are the ones you should treasure. They are rare, people that ask about you, not tell you about them.
You are not alone in how you feel, when you have had a trauma in your life like cancer. We can’t exspect everyone to understand, only those in the cancer club truly understand what you have faced. Only people in the cancer club will truly be honest with you, because they know how it feels to have someone by your side that you can tell how you truly feel. We also know how it feels when someone does not let you know how they feel because they think your situation is worse. We don’t stop caring because we are ill, we still want there to be normality. But there is very little normality in cancer, the cancer club is a club of honest, real, genuine people. Once u accept that not everyone will understand what you are going through, you find having cancer is easier.
Have a great day,
Fonz
http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536
It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.
Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.
The one thing that we give that’s impossible to get back, once it’s given its gone forever. I just don’t think people understand how precious time is. It’s something we all have, we have been given a certain amount of time some call it life. An amount of breaths allocated to us that all linked together equals life. You do it without even thinking, yet it’s the most important thing that we do.without even a second though. When you finally realise that the time you have, the days you have and the people you do it with are only here for a certain amount of time.
See I have started to adopt this thought pattern, if someone is in my life and makes it worse. I remove them, I make sure I don’t communicate with them because their choices make me unhappy. That’s a big step for me, because in previous years I would have tried to change them, or even change for them. I have learned through cancer that I am actually a really good human, a kind genuine human that does his best to help others and to make the moments I am involved in their life fun and even hope I may put a smile on someone’s face. I believe that the life I have is being used, in part. To enrich another’s world, can we ask anymore from a person? Is not doing our best, a gift to another human. Is not putting the needs of another before our own sacrificial.
It’s Christmas Day today and I hope you have a fabulous day with the people you love, your time is precious as are you. Be kind to each other love each other to the best of your ability. We only get one chance at this thing called life, me and Andrea are the only ones not seeing my parents tomorrow. A result of being childless. They will get a great breakfast on Boxing Day morning though… I already have some quality sausages to cook for them. Make sure you give the best you can of you today. It’s a nice soothing feeling to think that we don’t have to deal with having cancer in our lives this year, and hope our guests have a fabulous day with us. Talking about that, maybe I should get on with making some of tomorrow…
Have a great day and a very happy Christmas to you
It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.
Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.
Well, for me it’s not been the same as everybody else’s. But what’s everybody’s else’s like, is their recovery different to mine. Yes I think so, although there are similarities. The trick is though I think, to not let other people think they are not doing as well as them, but to encourage them where they are at. No ones journey in recovery is the same as the next persons, everyone recovers at a different rate. I personally dislike it when I hear things like. “Well you will be ok” what evidence do they have to be able to say that. Will I? Wow thanks Doc…
You see what ever you feel, what ever stage you are at in YOUR recovery, I want you to know that’s ok. You don’t have to be or get to a certain place at any specific time. It’s different for everyone, you see just because someone says it was like that for them does not mean your body will recover the same, or at the same rate. You may recover quickly, where someone else gets pains in places you never did or do. You are you, and I want you to know that you should not give yourself a hard time for your body not responding how someone else’s does.
Perspective-so a car can have a very small engine which means it’s really fuel efficient but can’t go fast, another can have a really big engine and can go really fast but is no good at fuel economy. You are who you are, accept yourself for who you are not what someone expects of you. Concentrate on healing how you heal, it may not be cancer. It maybe something completely different, but you are you. Whilst what I say is true, remember this also. That you can’t make a dream come true if you don’t dream a little.
So this Christmas Eve for me is special. Not for any other reason than I am alive, I am here to write to you that you can read what is written here. Because this time last year I was being operated on at 10.30 am and was supported by my wife to get me to this Christmas Eve. It’s here today, I am not on an operating table today though. I am thankful to be where I am today, I am also grateful you are able to read this. We have more to be thankful for than we realise.
It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.
