We each have what each other needs.

Tags

destiny, encouragement, facebook, friends, games, invictus, love, loved, transplant, treatment

How can watching the Invictus games not inspire us. How can we not be inspired by people’s stories. As you have probably realised I have been watching the Invictus games. It made me realise that we need each other. Not needing anyone are thoughts of my distant past. I don’t know what would have happened to me had it not been for my wife. But also those that are honest with me. It’s 06.33 and I have been up for 2 hours. So I thought I would finish this blog post as it feels like quite an important one to me.

You have heard me repeat my late mother in laws sentence.

“It’s not what we do when someone is gone that matters, it’s what we did in their lives that truly matters.” Norma Winn

What ever it is that you did for someone can have a lasting impact on their lives, yet you thought it was just a passing quip, or something you said thoughtfully. The words from Norma always flick around in my head adding myself “that it’s better to do something than nothing” you have a lot to give as a person. I without doubt have been left with a disability because of my treatment. I could just shrivel up and give up, but I don’t because I know how important it is to keep giving to people. We are only here once and I feel it’s a privilege to even have had a chance to live on this planet. How grateful I am to be able to give something to someone. Even if it’s just something said to encourage them.

People get inspired by what people do. I like to do little things like tell someone how gorgeous they are. The other day I was in a supermarket and I saw a lady struggling to get something off the top shelf. I took it off for her and put it in her hand. (She was about 80.) as I put it in her hand I told her how beautiful she was, whilst holding her hand. A tear rolled down her cheek and I kissed her on that cheek and carried on with my shopping. I saw her again as she was paying for her food. She was talking about me, saying how happy she was that I talked to her.

You see you don’t know where someone is at in their lives. I believe if you think it then you should do it. Think it you should say it. Think it you should be it. Now this is not the same for everyone because I know someone who if he said everything that was in their head. There would be more problems than before. The good things we think are what we need to.

You have what someone else needs. You are someone’s tonic, someone’s life line even. Life’s a privilege, and it’s something we have been given as a gift. That’s Gods gift to us. ‘Life’ but our gift to him is what we do with it. I like to encourage people with mine. What do you do with yours?

Next time you think you should say or do something, do that. You thought it for a reason. You have what someone else needs. But will you give it to them?

Have a great day

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Instagram
@fonzymark
Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share
with others, if it meant something to you, it will to some
one else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post!
Will you?
Copyright ©2018

From bad to Worse!!!!

Tags

chemo, children, faith, family, gift, happiness, hope, IVF, religion, treatment

From bad to Worse!!!!

Going on holiday is supposed to be a way of relaxing and when you come home your supposed to be refreshed. We were for sure just that when w were on the plane holding hands feeling that feeling of feeling refreshed and looking forward to our IVF treatment. We felt excited, we even met people on our holiday that had had the treatment and it worked first time. I mean knowing we have fought so hard for our life together. The room, the treatment, the sickness and suffering. Surely this is our time, surely it’s time to get some good news in our lives and have an opportunity to have our own child. My swimmers are dead, so we are not able to have children naturally so our only chance is to have them through IVF. We were told they were dead on the day before our holiday and our holiday in Greece was time to come to terms with that. I was angry, and upset that cancer had taken that from us. That the consequence of the fight was that we could not have children, that somehow we have been ripped off. 

It was about a week into the holiday that we met a couple that had had their successful IVF. Our anger turned to hope as we heard the story that was theirs. That he had fought for his life after breaking his back, but years later had their gift through IVF of a beautiful baby girl. We began to feel hopeful, we even began to feel excited at the prospect. Our holiday began to be a joyful time as we imagined our new born and what it would be like to be parents. We talked about how we would parent, the methods we would use. We even watched how other parents were with their children, we looked at each other knowing that we would work together to help parent our child and realised that maybe we would make good parents. We spoke how we would ask questions of why they were doing what they were doing as apposed to shouting. (Maybe a far fetched dream right) we spoke how we would parent and how we would love them, places we would go, what we would teach them. 

It really was the beginning of a new life for us, especially as Archibald the guy at the hospital had told us we would qualify for the treatment. We are not people with money, we are people with big hearts and share love with people and help others to overcome what they are going through. It’s what I do with passion, helping others with cancer, dedicating my life to holding out my hand to other people like you. Encouraging people that they to can win their fight, whether it be cancer or something else. I have heard the words, “you will lose your life without treatment” I know how valuable life is, I know how precious it would be to parent. I know how my dog makes me feel, I mean you see people that are parents and apparently some children don’t know what a loving home is. We do, because we live in a loving home and truly hoped to be parents and thought that this was our time.

We arrived home up beat unpacked opened a bottle of red wine and began opening the post, you know the bills ect. Then I heard my wife reading a letter out loud from the hospital. She said the word “unfortunately” followed by “you have not been accepted” it did not hit me really till now. That we are not being accepted for IVF. Right now I feel as though yet again Cancer has taken something else from us. After spending our holiday feeling hopeful that we would become parents. So here we are with yet another disappointment. Another set back, something else to overcome. Yea of course I am upset, we both are but you know me, I won’t just sit back and allow this to ruin me. I will continue to look into the options until they have been exhausted. But I tell you now reading that letter has floored me, for now. 

We will get over this, we will become positive again.

Today is a gift and treasuring what we have, is most certainly important. Life is precious, appreciate what your life gives to you. Also the people you have in it. We are each other’s gift.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something tou you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

Copyright © 2016

Sunshine and Bees.

Tags

business, cancer, chemotheropy, desease, garage, hope, life, police, scanner, treatment

Do you ever just stop, look and listen to the natural world. Listen to the bees buzzing, watch the birds communicating as they sing their chorus. Appreciate the smell of the flowers in the garden, gaze in wonder at all that has been created. I often look out of our window at the birds feeding at the bird station. My wife always buys thes coconut shells filled with fat that the birds love. But then today I was wondering why I appreciated the small things so much, why I appreciated the smells and the world of nature. How I had become so grateful for my surroundings. Well I guess the answer to that is simple, and obvious.

I know what it’s like to be unable to smell the flowers, to watch the bees. I know what it’s like not to be able to here the birds. It was only 3 weeks where I experienced life unable to hear the birds  the bees and the wind russling between the leaves. To be unable to smell the sweet fragrance of flowers in my garden. I was not even able to feel the sunshine on my face such was the reality of the small room I was cooped up in. But you know what, I am grateful I have had that experience in that room isolated from the world. With my I pad my wife (during the day) and the days on fan that kept me cool at night times. Because I can hear the birds today, I can smell the flowers today, I can hear the birds chatting in the morning.

Life is without doubt a precious gift, one that we never truly appreciate until we are not able to experience life with all of its senses. Is then life not a gift to you to me, to all the creatures that roam the earth. Are we not all fortunate and blessed that we have air to breath and eyes to see. I have found myself not being bothered about what is going on in someone else’s world, found myself becoming a curtious driver. I have found giving gives me a great deal of pleasure, where as before it was what I wanted that as most important. 

Right now there is a valeter disrupting all this tranquility with his loud jet washer. But hey, it seems to make no differance to the birds. They still sing, they are still playing in the trees, and seem happy to be alive. The point is, the birds and the bees don’t care what we do, they just carry on enjoying what they can. Accepting the world they live in for what it is, take a moment to pause today and admire the world that’s all around us. Take a moment to appreciate what you do have rather than what you don’t have. After all, what we have today is a gift. A gift to be enjoyed appreciated and cherished. But will you? Do you? A year ago today I had no option but to continue life with out the enjoying senses that I have been given. One thing I did do though, because I was able to. That was to encourage my fellow man to keep on keeping on, what ever that path maybe. Blogging 365 times in as many days. 

I hope you find time to enjoy what is all around you today, enjoy what you do have.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

The lump taking up space.

Tags

business, cancer, chemotheropy, faith, hope, love, lump, suffering, treatment

Yep that’s how it feels, you find a lump that’s cancer the you feel like the lump carrying the lump that’s taking up space. Hardly anyone will read this but this is how us cancer patients feel. We feel like we are worthless, we feel like a failure even because cancer chose us. I mean what did we do to deserve it, are we being punished for something we did? Some of the things that go through our minds are not even writable. Isn’t life hard enough with out this crap they call cancer. The lump they call cancer that lives in our bodies they we render useless because of cancer. How pathetic we feel because cancer chose us, how much despair we feel because cancer came. We look out at the rain dripping down our window pains and wonder if the sun will ever shine again, we cogitate the things we never did that we should have and feel regret. We feel feelings that someone who has never had cancer will hopefully never feel.

I remember exspecting the world to stop just so I could get my head around what was happening for a moment. But wait, was cancer such a bad thing for me looking back. When I look back now at how I dealt with the feelings, that’s what got me through, my attitude to what I as a cancer sufferer mattered the most. It made a huge differance to the desease that was in my body.

I started to look at the world differently and see positives in everything around me. Feeling pleasure to be able to feel the wind on my face, feelings of despair were replaced by thoughts of hope because that’s what I chose to do. I chose to look for the good in everything I saw, I started to see cancer as an oppertunity, not a disability. We only know how hard that is for a person to do, to appreciate our surroundings. To appreciate the medical staff, the people that researched cancer to find a way to make us well again. Quickly skipping over the companies that make billions out of cancer we have to be thankful for our lives. Of course I am not grateful to have had cancer, but what I am is grateful that I have learnt what I have because of cancer. If it was not for cancer maybe I would not be able to see the good all around me as well as what I can now. Maybe because of our attitude to it, that’s what helps cancer become a blessing. That our eyes are opened to what others cannot see. These days I see an appointment to the hospital as an oppertunity to bless someone, even if that is just making them a coffee at the machine, or tea if they prefer. 


My attitude to the lump I found first time was to hide, from everyone and everything. My attitude the second time I got cancer was to affect the world. Maybe I have achieved that to a small degree, but I have achieved that, and that is because of cancer.

Have a great weekend

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

What’s treatment mean.

Tags

attitude, chemothearopy, health, help, hope, love, nutrition, radiation, scans, support, treatment

How do you see treatment? After all it starts with a nice word, a word our parents said that meant something nice. A treat like a chocolate bar or an outing somewhere nice. But as an adult it means a medical way of treating something that needs medication, surgical management. When I was told you need treatment, I had no idea what that meant. I had no clue how that would occur. The word chemotheropy was such a meaningless word to me, but when you ask the question “what if I don’t have treatment” and you get the response “you will die” you kinda know you are going to need to do whats required of you. You then have to acquire the tools required to beat or under Ho your treatment. For me, what I needed most in my life was positivity. I knew that there was no room in my life for anything less than a ‘I can’ approach to the drugs I needed to have administered to me.

  
I also needed to trust that what they were doing to me was going to work, I asked questions like. “Is there another way” “could I not beat it by diet” I have since learnt that doctors have only 1 hour of nutritional training in a 7 year training period to become a GP. I have learnt that it’s our own knowledge that can help us, or maybe aswell as that the trust that what they do works. After all that was the answer I was given when I asked is there another way. “The way we know works” so why try to fight it, I needed to accept that they knew what they were doing and effectively trust them although making sure that what they gave me is what the doctor prescribed.

  
For me treatment meant, scans,  tests, and lots and lots of drugs. They named the drugs chemotheropy, and they were administered over long periods of time, they were in bags hung on a drip stand. They had words like cytotoxic written on the bags, there were more than one bag that would be dripped directly into my blood stream. My main weapon I used when having treatment was something anyone that faces illness needs. Not just cancer, it’s a weapon that can lift you out of any hole we find ourselves in.

  
Positivity, and attitude if we have both of those in our armoury, then our chances of success are massively increased. That’s because we believe we will win, our attitude is positive and our expectations are positive. My attitude to feeling down was positive because I believed if I was down the only was was for me to get up, therefore the only effect of being down was that I would get up and beat the situation I found myself in. It’s like we talked about in a recent blog about our minds. It’s only our own negativity that drags us down by the very thoughts we think in our minds. Our attitude to treatment and anything that is negative, is a massive part of getting through treatment. Well it was for me, and I know it helped me greatly in my fight.  All people have a lot of angry moments, I am not saying I did not get angry I did, lots. But the main help is to be positive, and expect an outcome that is in your favour.  My attitude to treatment is most certainly the main weapon to overcoming what I faced. 

I truly hope that my writing how it was for me, helps you in what ever you face. Remember it’s not feeling negative that’s a bad thing we all do and did. It’s how we deal with it that matters. 

Fonz

Follow me, I will follow back. 😊
http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

There IS life after cancer.

Tags

cancer, Cancerstory, chemo, energy, feeling, finished, freedom, grace, grateful, healing, heamatology, hope, last, love, respect, special, survived, treatment

As someone that has had cancer and beaten it TWICE! I am one of the few people on the planet that knows what it takes to beat it. My NO 1  thought has always been. “How much of me will cancer take from me” how much of me will be left after all the chemo and procedures are finished. Well the last procedure was done on Friday by having my pentamidine. I just have to have a lung function test done on Monday, then my dear friends reading this, then I will be walking free from cancer. I will leave southport hospital free from this dreaded disease, from all the things that’s needed to fight. I have slowly weened myself off of the medication and am out the  otherside. 

  
All the drugs leave you with kidney pain, chest pain, leg pain and nerve pain. But you know what non of that seems to matter. What matters is that the battle is now won. During the whole journey I have concentrated on going away with the lads as my end goal. To jump up and down together celebrating that this huge battle has been won. To see the smiles on the faces of the people that really care outside of my immediate family. To feel the freedom of being cancer free, and to share it with those that have been spurring me on. 

  
This will happen 1 week after my last test, the feeling I have within me is amazing. The prayers that have gone up by the many thousands of people around the world, the miracle granted to me that’s called life. I am so thankful, grateful, and blessed to have this life. I only hope that the people that have read my journey have been able to relate it to thier own situation, struggles, and challenges that you have had to face whilst we have been fighting to beat cancer. My wife is shattered, totally spent emotionally. She has faced everything with me, even holding my hand when I have been on the brink of losing my life. She has helped me find the strength to carry on. As have so many people along the way, people I was not to exspect to help have been there.

  
I went to see 1 of those people the other day, I went and had a Brazilian coffee with him. His children really loved interacting with Faith, and the feeling of freedom and being cared about were prevalent in that visit. i felt as though it had all been worth it, that there was a reason for a fight to have been won.

  
Happy family day, that’s what Sunday is to me. A day when me and Andie try to be together enjoying each other, giving our time to each other. wow how amazing that we can even have a family day. In my journey beating cancer, I have learned what good people are, what selfishness there is in some people. I have learnt that people can surprise you. I have learnt that not everyone is prepared to send you a message to wish you well, even IF people have had bad motives I always have tried to wish them well. I am also finding some diamonds on my journey. I am finding there are a few people that we can lean on, people that are reigniting my positivity for folk. People that want the best for you, accepting your situation but looking at the person not the disease. People that I want in my future, and are welcomed with open arms, because there is no hidden agenda.

  
It’s now time for me to remove all the cotton wool and bubble wrap, to start to live a life whilst I continue to blog and encourage those still fighting what it’s like on the otherside of Cancer. You may be able to pick up my excitement and expectancy of the things we will enjoy. Also the places we will visit whilst enjoying being cancer free. I can’t say those words often enough. 

  
Have a great week

mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.

Picc line Removed.

Tags

aim, belief, bone marrow, breast, cancer, cars, chemo, chemotheropy, cure, desire, determination, doctor, facebook, family, fonz, football, games, given, goal, GOD, grateful, happy, healed, holiday, hospital, lost, love, mobility, motivation, nurse, painful, prayer, real, reality, rescued, sales, skin, strength, taken, tennis, transplant, treatment, ward, world

chemotheropy with a picc line is a great way to have it administered. It’s a small tube placed in your arm into a vien going to a main archery near your heart. Mine was 35 cm long. I had mine fitted in January to have my ICE chemo. It’s a real pain having it as it protrudes from your body and it’s uncomfortable sometimes. That line became my friend, because with it in there are no more injections to take your blood. 

Well today was the day I had to say goodbye to that friend, but it also signified that I would not be having treatment at southport anymore. It was a little emotional saying Thankyou to all my day care nurses at southport oncology. But somehow a relief that we had completed the journey with no hick ups. This will take me to a small space in royal Liverpool hospital for 4 weeks where I will have to have my transplant. I can see light at the end of the tunnel now. That day I dream of is coming nearer.

You can find details of my journey on 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536/
A 7 year fight all because of a lump. Still I stand, time to dig in once again next week and see off this Cancer once and for all.. 

 

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016