This post is for anyone who wants to understand, what tiredness means to someone in recovery, or indeed in treatment. For me this well built strong man, does not accept weakness well. Tired was never something I had surcome to, it was a feeling I would brush off and continue on with my day. Tiredness to me was something and nothing, so what I would carry on regardless. Even doing to 2 in the morning then getting up early enough to hear the birds tweeting. I would think nothing of getting up at 4 am to drive to who knows where for a meeting with who knows who. My life was energetic full on and interesting. That was until I was 40, I am now 47. You see what a normal person feels as tired, you can recover from with a lye in on a Saturday or a Sunday. Or both.
This is not the case for someone who has had high dose chemothearopy. Many people, in fact I would say all people. Comment on how well I look, how amazingly normal I look concideringnthis time last year I had no hair what so ever. (Apart from my eye brows) I looked falown, pail and at deaths door. I was of course and I shut my family and friends away from my life and me and Andie got on with what needed to be done. I want you to know, that it’s ok to be tired, that YOU are NOT weak because you are tired. What you are is recovering, you are finding new boundaries that were not what you were used to before you need to have treatment.
You will need to be in bed for longer in the morning possibly, need a sleep in the afternoon possibly. Then you may need a sleep in the evening to. Before going to bed and sleeping for a further 10-12 hours. It’s ok to do that, your body is healing whilst you sleep, DO NOT. Give yourself a hard time, it’s ok to make some food and feel exhausted, wash a car and feel exhausted. Mow the lawn and feel exhausted, weed a border and not able to do anything else for the rest of the day. You are not abnormal, you are not different to other people. I was a body builder at one point in my life, training every other day and having a BMI of 8 strong, and unshakable.
Some of us have read the side effects of the drugs we have had in our chemo, others just get on with it. I did the latter, my wife scared herself with all the side effects. I am finding out that people are still affected 5 years down the line, some bounce back quickly, some take longer. It’s ok to be where you are at, it’s ok and you should not beat yourself up. I smile as I write, because although I do my best to not give myself a hard time for being so tired. I do. But the purpose of this post is yo encourage you, that you are not alone. We, the people that have had treatment know how long we have been tired for. An operation under general can take a week to recover from, that’s ok to. But the tiredness you feel is so different to what tiredness used to feel like before cancer or what ever nasty you are now, or have been treated for.
Nutrition is very helpful, and the more of a stable diet you have IE 5 a day. The better you will feel, you may think. Well maybe not, because let’s not forget that the body needs nutrition to repair our bodies, and if we are eating well then our bodies will repair itself more. Which in turn makes us more tired, radiotherapy damages the body as does chemo. So don’t think that your tiredness because of Radio, your not entitled to. Because you are. Your body tells you to sleep to heal, allow your body to heal. Those that think you should be back to full health and working again, forgive them. They have no idea what it’s like to feel like you do, and for me I pray that they continue to have that ignorance.
Maybe you are reading this and you have never been touched by chemo or alike, I just hope that this post has helped you to understand what someone who has had treatment still has to deal with.
If you have had treatment, I hope you feel encouraged. ITS OK TO FEEL TIRED.
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