Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living. 

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Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living. 

Your having a bad day? You can’t take anymore? Your bills are to high? You keep saying you can’t. Every single day of my life I am faced with the effects of treatment. Yet every single day I do the best that I can. Or do I? Or do I just do the best that I am told I can, and should expect to be. In school we are taught, but we are not taught any differently today than 150 years ago. Yet the world around us has changed so much. A computer 150 years ago was a simple abacus, yet you will be reading this on some kind of reading device. People with no money go to rubbish dumps to collect plastic bottles so they can eat. Yet you hold a phone, a kindle, and I pad? You have a roof over your head and possibly even sky or a cable network and a flat screen TV. Your ok, you have food in your belly maybe even you may have some money down the back of your settee. 

It’s such a shame for the fish, that it can’t climb trees. Such a shame for the Bee that can’t make it rain. We focus so much on what can’t be that we forget what can be. That only you are restricting you from any kind of success even if that’s just getting out of bed today. I am so very exhausted right now we have had illness in the house and it’s been hard work looking after myself aswell as my wife as I write this I am up and down to the toilet with a tummy bug. I feel like absolute rubbish. 

But let’s go back to the fish that can’t climb a tree, it can swim, it can reproduce it can do things we can’t. Like spend its whole life under water. We can’t do that. The Bee, that makes honey that transformes us and even fights infection. I must have some honey now I mention it. Bees give us so much that we all take for granted. Even now a symbol of together for the atrocity in Manchester. 


Shakira grew up in a rich family that lost everything and knows what it’s like to have nothing. All her house was cleaned out and at 8 years old she had not even a chair to sit on. Yet she used what she did have. (Her voice) her peers told her that her voice was bad, she was also rejected and produced 3 albulms before she was recognised. She vowed to do something for the poor and now runs a charity that blesses people. All because she used what she did have and did not focus on what the world would have her believe. JK Rowling had nothing when she draughted one of the worlds best selling books of all time. 

You will get kicked down, that’s a fact. We all have a fight that’s also a fact. We all can look at the good in something or the bad. But living is in the getting up, and finding something good to say about someone. This post did not exsist 20 minutes ago, now it does forever. I don’t know if you needed to hear this today. But if you were encouraged today, let me know it’s great to get positive feed back. Focus on what you can do not what you can’t. After all can’t is a made up word anyway.

Fonz

 
http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

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Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

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Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Pleapse share with others, if it meant something tou you it owill to someone

 else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.
You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

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Sometimes you love a person, for all the reasons their not like you.

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Sometimes you love a person, for all the reasons their not like you.

I might say some pretty random stuff in this post. I make no apology. It’s time to have a little fun, maybe be a little crazy and most of all smile. So here we go, here is a little story inspired by a sentence on ‘Brigette jones baby’ .

I wonder if it was just me that spent a long time looking for someone I loved the look of, that loved what I loved, that wanted what I wanted.  Spending thousands dating, then at the end of a night that you spent all week buying clothes for, that lasted 5 hours. You find yourself on your way home in a taxi hoping you would be sick in the toilet and not all over the cab windows. Then hoping shortly afterwards that you would not get the cleaning bill for the taxi but then ya did. Only to find you had no money and you had to go inside your own home to look for money stinking of sick. Along with kebab sauce dribbled on your shirt. I can assure you this look is also accompanied by a bad hair day to. No not you? Oh well that would be just me then.


That the one you were to love, was interested in what you were, not what you had. Yet one of the first questions was always “Do you like motorbikes”  not all girls do you know, in fact I would say MOST don’t. I found out quite early on in life that just because a lady (girl) said they liked Martini. That alcohol should be savoured. That not all men would like Martini, including me, especially as I drank a full bottle in approx 40 mins. It was actually the second bottle of alcohol I drank that fast. The first being one of ‘thee olde English ciider’  just before a party at 13 I think (sorry mum) both occasions resulted in huge amounts of sick. Thinking back I wonder why I ever drank again. Just to clarify I don’t think that any more I am just not blind drunk every weekend… quite possibly making myself look bad but there is some humour among the the honesty, I think.. I mean. Oh never mind.

I am one of the fortunate people on earth, that I found out what is meant by the word love. That just because you like to eat fish it does not mean that’s right for the fish. In fact it’s not fair on the fish at all, it’s selfish love. If you loved fish, would you not look after them and feed them? Love for yourself, that’s why so many get divorced, because they love the fish and don’t look at the person eating the food we don’t like. 

Ok let me be clearer, we all love ourselves. A short video I watched recently reminded me of that.  You giving  love to someone does not mean you love them. It’s the other way round. You love those who you give to. You see when you give to someone you count the cost. If you give because you love to give, you never count the cost. It’s just given, because you will always love those you give to. Because you love you right.

Only understanding these principles can we understand who cares about us and who does not. The love of my life, who just so happens to be my wife likes all the films I don’t. The tv shows it all. Yet we give ourselves to each other making ourselves vulnerable often. Yet in doing that we don’t feel vulnerable because we both know, there is some of us invested in the other. True love enjoys vunrability. People that look for a fake skin deep love will never have anything invested so it will always be weak and fail at some point. Possibly leading to divorce.


Oh how I wish I could upload what I have learnt and take the chip out and put it in a younger persons head. But it’s not like that is it. I can tell someone that, it’s really bad to walk backwards on a pavement and turn around. Because at some point you will turn round and be faced with a lamppost. We have to learn it all for ourselves. Even the books we read will still mean we will eventually find out for real in the life we have.

When you give to someone and don’t want anything back, that’s true love. You can love working because you get paid. But giving to someone because you want to is the most precious of gifts. So true love is because you love  giving to that person, not what that person can give to you. 

Love is not easy, but then if it was we would all know how wonderful it truly is to love

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something tou you it will to someone

 else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.
You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright ©2017

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Your a failure

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Your a failure

But is not failure a good thing? There are many ways in which failure can be a good thing, a potatoe when boiled fails to stay hard. An egg when boiled becomes hard turning it into a hard boiled egg and coffee beans become coffee that we drink instead of a bean. Failure is only a bad thing if we don’t learn from it, find the good in the situation that we are in. My ethos in life is. “It’s better to do something, than to do nothing.” Many things in our lives  feel like they are there to hinder us and not help us. Yet for sure if we looked a little closer we could see something different.

People tell me they are depressed, people say that life’s tough and that it’s impossible to move on. That no matter how hard they try it’s not possible or that life has made them weak. Sometimes becoming weak is exactly when we can thrive and become what we are supposed to be. The potatoe is useless to us if we are hungry, if it’s not boiled. The potatoe has to go through a process to become useful. 


I want you to know something today, I want YOU to know that what ever you have faced does not make you less useful. I want you to know that actually what you have faced has not made you a failure but it’s brought you to where you are today. Failure is not failure unless you don’t learn from it. You will only talk about someone’s failures when they are a success, because how will anyone become anything unless we have known failure. 

You still have the same value as before life supposedly made you depressed or you got cancer. Believe me if you screw up a £20note and throw it in the bin, it still retains the same value as it did before. What people say about you, what people do to you does not change the value of who you are. Last week I was told a man could not use the internet because he had only a phone. That it was to expensive for him to have a good phone. Yet I asked Facebook and someone donated a phone and a tablet to the 88 year old man. You will only achieve what ever it is that you restrict yourself to achieving. But this blog post is written to tell you, that it does not matter what people have done to tread on you or run you down. Your value is the same as it was before. What ever your situation.


I got cancer and had to look after myself, give up smoking and make some adjustments in my life to remain cancer free. I lived with cancer and did not push it away, I learned that cancer was a part of my life therefore it never took a hold of me and took me down. A friend said to me once, you act like you are successful. “I am” I said “I beat cancer” the world wants you to be in specific boxes to be or not to be. But I want you to know, you have value and you always did and always will. You will never ever know what the dots will be to join up in the future. You will only know what they were when you look back. Only then can you see why certain situations were what they were. Because without them you would not be who you are today.

I am divorced, but I am also married to the most wonderful lady in the world, who I would never of married if I had net gotten divorced. If life happens our way how we perceive it to happen, we will never achieve what’s possible. Because we only think of what we believe to be possible in the box we had made for us by life. 

My best friend on this planet has a thriving business, it thrives because he said yes to carrying on a lot. His vision was to make a little bit of extra money. Now a great deal of people benefit from his business, but that also involved a lot of other people to say yes also. To believe that they had value also. You are so much more than a job title, or the words written on your CV your actually part of someone’s future. A part they are not able to achieve without you in it. 

Look at what you are, not what you where and remember that the value someone else thinks you have is nothing to the value you actually have. The bad you maybe experiencing will lead to something good in the end. Believe me.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something tou you it will to someone

 else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.
You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright ©2017

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Thank you cancer

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Thank you cancer.
Why not? I mean cancer has for sure helped me to see a world in a different way. I hope I can explain it well enough for you, that maybe you can see the world differently to just by reading this blog.  
In my world only my loving wife and my mom and dad truly know what life’s like for me. I am fortunate to be a prayed for man, which humbles me greatly that people take the time to pray. As I wrote that I phoned one of my dads friends who is in a nursing home who prays for me to thank him. People are so nice aren’t they. So on with this post.
If you suffer with pain or know someone that does or side effects from treatment this is for them, I just hope you can share it with them if you think it will help.
You see when you have pain, a useless one like nerve damage. It’s not something that can be changed, it most certainly will not go away by complaining about it or worrying about it. However there are things we can do, things that make life less painful even though the pain still exsists. I get told many times how wonderfully I have done, and can only thank God for the strength I have been given to carry on and the friends he has put my way. There are many things and words that can help us in life you know, just by putting a positive word into Google, or on my blog you will find something that will take your mind away from the pain you feel. So let’s take a word any word, an ordinary one and let’s see if we can help ourselves with one word.
BEE

So firstly from my own mind, what does the word Bee mean to me, well until just recently it could be an insect that stings and then dies needlessly. Pointlessly you may think. That could be the end, could it not? Or we could look at what a bee has it’s sting for that it protects its colony from predictors, that it makes Honey that’s used in so many different ways. In fact we find that some bees have heeling properties in their Honesy such as Manuka from New Zealand. We can take a photo of it and look at how amazing it is how it collects pollen, and by doing so pollinates other plants and even helps them to produce fruit. In fact without the bee, there would be no fruit at all on some trees. We can see the beauty that there is in what the bee does and how it looks all the time whilst doing this one thing, the pain we have feels less. Because we have looked at something in a different way. We have given ourselves a new perspective at that moment therefore helping our mental health and feeling less of the bad things for a short while.
Of course the Bee symbolises so much more now, being a symbol of anti terrorism for Manchester and a sign that we stand together against it.
Our two Labradors are amazing, they change how I feel and for sure help me with my own pain levels to. When I concentrate on them rather than the pain, it’s like I have gone through a period where I forgot I was in pain. Speaking of positive things, and doing positive actions make a differance in life, not only for the person that suffers but for the person that supports a person that suffers.
How you perceive something changes your whole life.
Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com
Our support group on our FB
Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 
It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. I
Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something tou you it will to someone
 else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?
Copyright ©2017

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I know what it’s like to eat salty bacon with tears.

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I know what it’s like to eat salty bacon with tears.

I don’t know how many of you have just watched “Growing up with cancer” but I just did. Children that had the cancer i did, children that had to grow up with cancer and face things no child should. Well it took me back once again to that room where I had my stem cell transplant.  Kids are so resilient aren’t they, accepting of their situation and able to rationalise things and adapt. They seem to be able to deal with things quickly and efficiently. 

There was a young lad in the wards that became depressed and lost his appetite. He was unable to eat due to how he felt, he was angry and upset although he was uncertain of why he was so unhappy. Being depressed he was certain of. I know I was low and forced my family away from me, which is actually why I am writing this very post.  The family that wanted to be close to me I pushed away.  I did not allow them on the ward even though they could have really. I was so hung up on the word. Isolation. 

I wanted to give myself the best chance at beating cancer and living longer by not being around any germs what so ever. Well I want to put that right right now. Today should my wife’s dad be alive he would be 74. But cancer took him aged 59. I never knew him. But it’s made me realise I was wrong to be that way, that I should apologise to my family and say Sorry. Sorry for keeping you at arms length, and ask that you all forgive me.

Whilst in that room the chemo they give you, is so horrendous that you get hundreds of ulcers all the way through your body. They tell you that you are unable to eat, and that you would be better to have a nose tube to be fed through, and that exercise would be impossible. 

What I did in there I did for my family, I did what I thought I could to come through. I did press ups on the visiting chair that my wife used sometimes. I walked from the bed to the ensuite which was about 5 steps and back whilst having chemo moving all of the time and eating my breakfast not once but twice everyday. Sounds greedy right? Wrong. I would say eating bacon with ulcers in your mouth throat, intestines, all the way through to your bowl is not easy. You cry whilst eating making the bacon taste saltier. But every bite hurts like hell as it goes through your body making you not want to eat. Without doubt the easiest thing to do is to not eat, to choose nothing off the menu to sleep all day and not excercise. To give up. 

All I did in there I did for my family, and want to say sorry for not doing the things you wanted me to. It was wrong of me. 

To anyone that’s facing cancer or supporting anyone with cancer. What seems normal in life without cancer is most certainly not normal in a life during cancer. 

But I leave you with this, to do something is better than doing nothing, even if at the time it may seem like the wrong thing to do, it’s still better to do.
Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. I

Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something tou you it will to someone

 else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.
You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright ©2017

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Family

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Family

Family does not have to be a place, it’s not something you get. Family is something you give, for many years I have missed the point till right now. No one owes me anything, no family member owes me. People that truly love don’t do it because they are a part of a family. They do it because they want to give NOT receive.. I personally know what it’s like to love someone, loving someone means you never remember what they owe you because they owe you nothing. If you think a friend owes you, then they are no friend. If you scroll through your phone and a person has not called you, that’s when you have to question if the traffic is one way.

I have this saying, that. If someone really wants to see you they will. It’s not your fault someone does not include you it’s their choice. One thing I have learnt of late is this one thing.

I have just bred a litter of pups, and at 16 weeks old our pup has just spent a week with her sister. They both have different personalities and the only time they truly love each other’s company is when they accept each other, warts n all.

 

Having dogs has also helped me to realise what true love is, and it most certainly is not what the dog can get from the other. It’s only when a dog accepts how another dog is and does not count the cost tat the love really starts..

we could learn a lot from dogs, but if nothing else what we should learn is. If someone has their hand out, the person they love is themselves. If the have their hand out yo help you up, their friendship is not just an action it’s a feeling. People love to receive or they give because they wanna give. What you have in your hand is nothing to what is given from your heart. Jesus paid the ultimate price to show us what love meant. Unserstand that, and you will have life.

 

enjoy your life with your hand out to help someone up, rather that a hand out to receive is when you will feel the true freedom of life.

Fonz

 

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To give Life

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To give life!!
At the moment we are looking after 3 dogs, although the other 2 are faiths pups you still follow them around guiding them to be good. The warmth they give my heart far out weighs the mist chief I find them making. Take this afternoon.

I am making a bigger pond for my fish of which I have 12 remaining. But that’s due to me not putting a net over the pond and a heron pinching one last night. So I am indoors sorting out cloud print or something on our Epsom printer… (Still no idea) the pups were outside. 


I am not silly, I know they make mischief but hoped they would be good. They normally play in the side garden, ripping up paper and snapping things. Anything is fair game. Take the other day I planted some climbers, only to find the plants half eaten on the grass. I said nothing and ent and got some chicken wire ( the plastic kind) and screwed it either side of the posts so no further intrusions of plants avoiding all dog chrime!!


The next day I came into the garden where I was confident I had sorted the issue to find the same plant uprooted and more besides and the netting ripped off. I looked at Lily Hope our puppy who tilted her head to the side in a (waaaaat) kinda way. Looking to cute to chastise. With a smile on my face… “NAUGHTY PUPPY”. I said. She looked at me satisfied with her dog chrime with a look of one upmanship as she waddled off.  No more has happened since. However. 

We return to the pond build and I had successfully moved all remaining 12 fish into a paddling pool ready for putting into their new home. Tomorrow. Whilst confusing myself with printer clouds and google chrome it appeared the two amigos ( sisters ) have been naughty and removed one of my fish and had decided to play with it on the decking. When I arrived they quickly left the area waddling satisfactorily down the path whilst I decided if I should bin the fish or do my best to revive the poor girl. 


Of course I opted to revive the fish, to my astonishment it now lives. My puppy and our friends puppy no doubt will still be partners in dog chrime, and I will continue to love them, and hope they find me some sort of  leader in the future. But I do rather think it best to enjoy that they are with us, and see their little lives as pleasant unpredictable additions to our family. 

Life is that, and no matter what your pain you can look upon the trials you face however you like. But you do have life which is a gracious gift.
Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. I

Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something tou you it will to someone

 else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.
You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright ©2017

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Love NOT hate!

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Love NOT hate

Plucky Brits, a few people with an idealism are not going to change us. Your messing with the wrong people if you think we are going to roll over and let you sley us with your cowardly actions. We will always stand with each other when it comes down to it. When we need each other we are there for each other. 

Tonight I am watching truly brave people, not just the people that are standing with Manchester but the people that have gone to that concert. Showing unity, solidarity, love, compassion, and a kindred spirit. People joining together to say “WE” to say “Together” to say “we are one” people that were at the concert, people who have been affected by hate. personally I feel a sense of pride and passion for my fellow Brit. You live in a special place, your connected to special people. You see our flag is not a few colours thrown together it’s ‘GREAT BRITAIN’ you take from us. We will be there for each other and I personally think that’s amazing. 


You see in my mind is far more powerful to love your fellow man than to hate him or her. To give is better than to take. I have written in my posts in the last 2 years often about paying it forwards and loving each other. Even as I faced the worst days of my life I always felt to love our fellow man was better than the opposite.

Ariana. Grande has stood tonight after a horrific tragedy created through hate and 50,000 people responded by going to a concert organised at the last moment as a sígn that we are not alone.


Saffie Rose Roussos is with us no longer sadly taken but for sure her name will be said many times in years to come. That young girl lived in our village, but we stand together with love for each other. NOT hate. Hate is born of the devil and we are born of one far stronger. The Bible means ‘Basic Instruction Before Leaving Earth’  it teaches us that GOD is Love. Then surely to love another is done because you have life. 

So I say and give you this, do something in love is the very best gift of all. Love always wins over all.

Fonz

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The love of coco the family dog.

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The love of coco the family dog.

We all dread the day when our dogs will leave us and I guess we all hope it’s a painless parting. So I want today to write about coco my brothers chocolate Labrador.

Never did I meet coco and not feel love, we had a friendship as did everyone she knew. Coco was amenable and would adapt to any situation. It seemed her duty on the planet was to warm hearts and take away pain through love and hugs.

When you saw her you would get out of your car as quickly as possible. Knowing her exuberance would end with a number 11 down your car door. 

Me personally I was always a bit rough as we played together, but I like to think she enjoyed it. 

You could never leave food around where coco was, or anything edible for that matter. She was quite partial to after eights, I was to find out after leaving them on the floor from the night before. My fault entirely – cakes – even birthday cakes, I believe a chunk of an 80th birthday cake was missing, when it came to the cutting!

Coco was known to eat cakes and 12 paper cup cake cases were found one day in amongst her doings.  

Some dogs especially labs are food orisntated. We all loved coco in this house, and could never imagine cancer would take coco.  

Our dog Faith adored coco and if we said her name in the house she would look for her eager to find her. She always got excited 2 or more miles away knowing they would play together. I am fairly sure coco thought she was male at times. 


Coco was playful and was always up for a laugh.


Coco was a faithful companion to her family and without doubt filled their house with joy and made a house a home.


I personally will miss arriving at my brothers to be greeted by Coco. Possible not the defacating around our pool table however. All the same, coco will be missed by many. So glad you got to meet Lily Coco. We will miss you and will always have a place in our hearts. Thank you for all the love you brought to us all. Love always Mark, Andie, Faith, Lily and Jenson.

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We will miss you Coco.

R.I.P.
XxxxX

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What we think in our mind is what we will be.

How we use our mind is without doubt how we fail or how we achieve.

fonzandcancer blogging to encourage.

In our minds eye we have a picture of what will be, what we can achieve. Where we think our abilities will take us, what we think we are capable in our lives. Who we can and can’t be in this world, we have an idea that restricts us instead of encouraging us.
So by having the thoughts you have as to what you can achieve do you understand that that is the very thing that restricts you from becoming more. I have this approach in life ‘if he can, I can’ I used to be passionate about maybe being wealthy, you know the posh house, nice car holiday home ect.


Life is not like that anymore, I have changed. My life has changed, I now realise the one thing that makes us happy, and it’s not money or things. It’s contentment, it’s peace, it’s the planet, the creation God…

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