Remember this.

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One day, you know a day that we are living as if it’s our last. One  day at least we will be right. 

Oh how I want to be so wrong every day.

Happy new year

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

2015 review.

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2015 review, wow where do I start. Well I guess that would be 1st January 2015 but that’s not where the year began for me I began on the lads holiday 2014. When I felt a lump in my neck and knew I had to mention it to my consultant on my appointment 2 days after landing back in the uk. That led to an operation then ICE chemotherapy each cycle done over a 3 day period, in Feb, March and April then Beam chemo in isolation for 6 days and nights in May. completing 30 full days of chemotherapy in 5 years. 
   

 Just to explain a little what it took for the transplant, for those who know nothing of what’s required. Stem cell harvest wes allot of fun having a canular in one arm and a 1.5 mm needle in the other whilst they took my blood out harvested it in a machine, then put it back in my body. The whole process lasts about 5 hours repeated on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday until I had 4 million cells were collected. 

  
I remember on one particular day, a gentleman sat opposite, he has a hicc an line in so the needle was not required. You can’t move at all for the 5 hours, and watching his son eat a Burger King did make me salavate some what and get food envy. 

The transplant itself lasted 3 weeks laid in a bed in a room 15 ft X 12 ft. With only a tv and an I pad for company. The nurses who I can’t name made the Experience more bearable, I can’t name the staff at the Royal Liverpool but they are an amazing team as are the team in the MDU at southport. Without a doubt our local GP Dr Hindle played a huge part in saving my life.
 It was also the start of the first complete year for the group made possible by its 210 members. A group that not only has helped people along the way. It has helped people to help themselves to save their own lives. Needing the very people I had set out to help whilst on a new cancer journey again. You see I was in remission when I set up cancer stories, and although I felt I was not in remission, I hoped it would not return. It did.
Whilst the group has encouraged many, it has also seen much sadness spare a moment as we think of those that have left us.
Noel Smalley

Rita Hodgeon

Becca Parkes

James D peace
There are others that have passed but I am not permitted to speak of them in public.
Sadly missed but not forgotten

  
It was a year where I strove to get on my lads holiday in Turkey, seeing it as my goal to achieve. I lasted 2 days and came home to find that 24 hours later the hotel was swamped by water. Not a place for someone 100 days out of bone marrow transplant. My friends made the best of what they had, 8 days later going to Mexico with my wife, where we would meet friends for life and enjoy some of the best weather they had seen at that time of year. 

  
Mexico was to end up being our true celebration, not only to have an end to all that treatment, but to finally be declared cancer free once more. The word cured was even used. We celebrated our anniversary 5 years married to my amazing wife, who has been by my side all the way through all my cancer Experience, I can’t bring 2015 to an end with out mentioning someone else. Rachel Brown for allowing Andie to have her time by my side in hospital whilst having my bone marrow transplant. 

  
Finally knowing I have another day each morning is an amazing feeling and as a consequence I never want to waste a moment of it unhappy.  We also celebrated Andie turning 40, and hope to make a special announcement soon regarding Andies Carrea.

  
Outside of my personal experiences and support from family and friends. I want to say thank you to all those at cancer stories there are to many to list, but you all know who you are that reach out to other people sharing your journeys with others encouraging and enthusing people to get themselves into remission. Thank God for hospitals and people that dedicate their lives so we may have life, that we may continue to breath and encourage other people where they are at.
Wasn’t it amazing that 15 people that had never met were able to enjoy a meal together, almost being kicked out after 4 hrs 45 mins of constant chat without a break. A complete privilege. Bless you each and every one. 

  
I have hope in my heart and faith that many of you will improve in 2016, I hope with a hopeful heart that you will know words like remission and cure in between the scans and sunshine, rainy and cloudy days.
Thank you to all of you that have supported us, well it’s time to look forwards now. To buy gym memberships that we will use twice, give up fatty foods for a 2 day diet before we get over our guilt trips and live normally again. Start walking to the shops, until we remember having a car was easier.
Have a great 2016 and all the best
Fonz

One direction.

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One of the reasons I was able to overcome cancer, was that me and my wife and the friends and family on the journey with us were all pulling together. How I like to explain it is like this.

When ever me and Andie have a problem that needs solving, we talk about it together and work out a strategy together. I see the problem as a block of concrete so big that it cannot be moved by just one person. Both of us need to be pulling the block for it to move. But not only do we have to move it together, we have to both be pulling in the same direction. It’s no good if the idea is split in 2 and 2 people are pulling different ways. Nothing ever gets achieved that way, me and Andie have achieved so much this past year. Tomorrows blog will be thinking about all the things we have achieved together because we are both pulling in one direction.

  
Andie had an opportunity to be promoted from the role she is in over 12 months ago, it would have been wrong at that time in our lives facing beating cancer again. You see cancer tried to fight me, to bring me down to put me under, defeat me and affect our life in a negative way. Two people like us will never allow a situation to ultimately affect us in a negative way because we choose to work together to make the best of what we DO have. We don’t focus on what we cannot change like people’s actions towards us. The responses of people to us are just something we cannot change, what people chose or choose to do on any day in particular we cannot do anything about. It’s ultimately our response to it that matters, people can say and do hurtful things. It could be deemed bullying or even rejection, we choose together to work together to make the best of everything. Even removing yourself from a negative situation that can’t be changed can help with getting to the destination. 

  
Our new destination for the next phase in our lives we can’t tell you at the moment, but I can tell you that we will be touching more people’s lives than ever before in 2016. There will always be people there to try and take the shine off of what your aiming to do, I get shocked as to where the people come from that try to bring you down with their own limitations which some regard as negativity. You see this is the truth of life. The only person that stops your dream, or restricts it is the very mind that dreams the dream. The problem with big dreams, is the fact that with it brings more possibility for failure. I prefer to dream big and then break that down into successful days, weeks, months, and years. 

You are in control of the direction you choose, our direction is by supporting each other in making our dreams come true. I hope your enjoying your next to last day in 2015.

I hope you had a successful 2015. I also hope you enjoy planning your 2016.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB
https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536
It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. 

How to do GREAT work. (Steve jobs)

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  http://youtu.be/UF8uR6Z6KLc

Please watch this video.

The only way to do great work is to love what you do. I have a personal addiction, that is to people that are at the top of their game, people that have become the best that’s possible in that field. People that have used a lifetime, becoming the best at what they do. The only have one thing in common, all these people love what they do. They have not seen it as a chore to work, they have seen it as a way of life. Enjoying what they do everyday that some people call work, I am at a cross roads myself. I know what I love to do, I know that I am good at it and hope to pursue it to be the best I can be at it.

I adore encouraging people, I love to give people hope. It’s a passion of mine, I have and do not seek to make a living from it. I just want to make a difference in people’s lives, to help them to see the best in themselves.
I am fascinated by people like Steve jobs, Bill gates, Peter Jones, Duncan Balyntyne, Lewis  Hamilton, Guy Martin, to name a few people that inspire me. People that love what they do, people that are passionate about what they do. It was then that I realised something else that they had in common. All of them wanted or want other people to be successful, all of them encourage other people to become the best they can be. Whilst being at the top of their game, they have other people working with them that are also at the top of their game to.  I have allot of friends who are at the top of what they do, I am married to one of them. Two people who have been the most influential people on the planet I think are Steve jobs and Bill Gates. These people have made a fortune by helping people to have tec in their hands that can make them money. Something I am using right now. My IPad. Mine is the latest with the biggest memory. That’s thanks to the late Steve Job, also influenced by Bill gates. They both shared similar ethics. Building their company’s on Software, by giving us (the public) the capability of making software by providing us with the tools to make software. In turn helping people to make money at home by making things such as Apps.

I myself have chosen to write a blog a day for a year in the hope of reaching people experiencing cancer treatment, or the effects of cancer. To encourage them that they can win their battle also. I have not found it a chore writing my blogs, because it’s something that I love doing, now whilst I know I am not at the top of my game like Steve jobs was. I do know I am making a difference largely because of his vision to help people to help themselves with the tool for the job. ( no pun intended)

  
We all have an opportunity, it’s called Life. Are you wasting yours or using yours. That’s the key isn’t it, to use what you have (life) and use it to help others whilst not forgetting that family is THE most important in your life. At the beginning of my blogging journey, I did not really care about my spelling. But now I am starting to care a bit more, to do my best to be the best I can be. I don’t call mistakes failure, I call then lessons and a chance to learn.

I really hope this blog has encouraged you today, if nothing else to not settle until you find what you love to do, in turn doing great work because you love it. If I could only shake the hand of the man that has inspired me to inspire you. If indeed you are inspired.

Have a great day.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB
https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. 

My mum saved my life.

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Seems a strange thing to say doesn’t it, thank you cancer, but cancer has given me so much. It came into my life twice and tried to end my life twice. It picked the wrong man, my attitude was always that I would win. Never once did I imagine I would lose. I am fortunate though, if it was not for my mum I would for sure be dead.  Had she never told me I should get my lump checked out. See I just thought it was a swollen gland, never even once did I think a lump could possibly kill me! Well it didn’t it came and never realised just how hard it would be to get the better of me. I managed to get the better of it, not without the help of my family and friends.

  
My blog today Monday 28th December had the best day ever, even surpassing the blog  ” The Night I fell in love with Rita’s mum ” now it’s the blog about Steve Job that has now had the most hits, having more hits than the whole of last week in one day. Cancer has given me so many gifts, it has given me a new found wonder in the planet, I get pleasure from small things, our cat laid in front of the fire melts my heart. Children playing fills me with joy, I built a bike up for my friends son today. Seeing his beaming face was priceless. Everything on the planet is more valuable, family time is precious any time with my wife I adore and will not have it ruined. 

Birds singing a chorus, fish, laughter. My friend said the other day “Small things can make me tear up” it’s the same for me also. Cancer has given me friends I would not have had, it’s given me the group Cancer stories. It’s given me a desire to have love in the home that I live in. More than ever I did. My dog enjoying a run, so many things I appreciate more because I HAD cancer. For that I have to thank my mum, because without her I would be dead. Thank you Mum.

Try and find your positive in your situation, because if you look they WILL be there.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB
https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. 

Star Wars

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We all have families, some are real loving ones. Some are distant in miles, some are wealthy. I am wealthy in family, because I have a loving wife who loves me dearly and knows me well. I was bought a Star Wars top this year by a family member, one that did not know me or it would never have been considered. It got me thinking though, how can someone that should know me so well get it so wrong. Maybe the time they had with me they never listened to what I liked, maybe they just bought it for me because I should like it. Or maybe it was a pound…..
Well my wife absolutely loves Star Wars, so it was not wasted, I am sure my wife will love wearing it with the picture of the millemem falcon on the front. It’s a man size so she will proberbly wear it as a nighty.. You know I have even watched the latest movie of Star Wars, we went to Liverpool to watch it at the gallery. You see it’s something my wife adores and I would do anything for my wife, and would take her anywhere. When we were sat in the cinema she said these words to me. “The last time I was with someone watching starwars at the cinema, I was with my dad” no previous partner had gone with her to see it because they did not like starwars. Her dad is no longer with us, he died at 59.. Such a short life, cancer took him, he had it in his stomach, maybe it had been there for 20 years. I don’t know if her dad loved starwars, but what I do know is that he went with her. 

  
Taking an interest in what someone loves is priceless, irreplaceable, because taking an interest in something another is interested in is an exsperience. Some people have blinkers on and only tune into their own interests because that’s all that matters to them. Some people don’t like football (like me) but again my wife loves it so I watch it and have banter with her because she loves it. She knows what I am passionate about, and she takes an interest in that also. For us our life is made richer because we learn about each other, I know about her dad and her grandparents, what they liked and disliked where they lived and what part they played in the war. Why because I want to keep the memories of those we lost alive.
I know that my dads love for football came from cricket, from a cricketer who used to also play for Arsenal. “Dennis Compton” his grandson plays for England to this day. How do I know that? Because my wife asked my dad. We then bought him a book on the man he respected, because we knew it would not be a waste of money. I don’t really like cricket either but I bet if you asked my dad he would think I did.. I have even been to meet Ian Botham, because I love people that have managed to be the best they can possibly be. I grew up with cricket and tennis in our house neither of which I love. Although Andy Murray is a pleasure to watch. I do however watch both, because if I try hard enough happy memories of being a boy come back doing the things my mum and dad loved. Playing cricket on the field with my day, and watching tennis with my mum whilst the sausages burnt, on a 14″ black and white tele.
I can’t stand Star Wars, but I love my wife. I know my wife does not wear nail varnish so I don’t buy it her it, my wife is exstemly beautiful and does not need to cake make up on, so I don’t buy it her. Next time I meet with the family we will play a little game. I hope you having a great Christmas break, and don’t forget to get to know the people you love.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB
https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. 

Your not alone…

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This Christmas for me is a huge milestone, but I think friends even family (some) have forgotten the previous battles. What it took to win this war. Maybe it’s easier for them to forget, for me what was is always in my now. The effects of what was is in my now. I am real emotional this Christmas, I keep having moments. Now I am not saying this for sympathy, just so that others will know that it’s normal that what I feel is documented. I hope that some day a person will get comfort from reading this blog, even just knowing that your not alone.

People do forget when it’s not happened to them, it’s better for them if you just don’t mention it or even communicate about it. The fact is though that the horror of what I have been through is all still so very real in my present. It’s like a reoccurring nightmare and all I want is to forget for a while. When I am around people I forget, people are like the tonic I need to get through. I want you to know, what I remember is in the form of flash backs. It’s not that I recall anything on purpose, really it’s not a journey that anyone would want to recall on purpose. 

  
All I want and need in my life is health and happiness, there are some people on the planet that naturally love us. There is not effort in that love, because it’s natrual. It’s is a love born out of accepting the other person and not wanting them to change. It has been said, if you are with people that are comfortable with the real you, you are with people that love you. I have friends like that, one is my brother and sister in law. I have some friends like that to, people that are in your lives that accept you are the ones you should treasure. They are rare, people that ask about you, not tell you about them. 

You are not alone in how you feel, when you have had a trauma in your life like cancer. We can’t exspect everyone to understand, only those in the cancer club truly understand what you have faced. Only people in the cancer club will truly be honest with you, because they know how it feels to have someone by your side that you can tell how you truly feel. We also know how it feels when someone does not let you know how they feel because they think your situation is worse. We don’t stop caring because we are ill, we still want there to be normality. But there is very little normality in cancer, the cancer club is a club of honest, real, genuine people. Once u accept that not everyone will understand what you are going through, you find having cancer is easier.

Have a great day,

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB
https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536
It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. 

Time

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The one thing that we give that’s impossible to get back, once it’s given its gone forever. I just don’t think people understand how precious time is. It’s something we all have, we have been given a certain amount of time some call it life. An amount of breaths allocated to us that all linked together equals life. You do it without even thinking, yet it’s the most important thing that we do.without even a second though. When you finally realise that the time you have, the days you have and the people you do it with are only here for a certain amount of time.

  
See I have started to adopt this thought pattern, if someone is in my life and makes it worse. I remove them, I make sure I don’t communicate with them because their choices make me unhappy. That’s a big step for me, because in previous years I would have tried to change them, or even change for them. I have learned through cancer that I am actually a really good human, a kind genuine human that does his best to help others and to make the moments I am involved in their life fun and even hope I may put a smile on someone’s face. I believe that the life I have is being used, in part. To enrich another’s world, can we ask anymore from a person? Is not doing our best, a gift to another human. Is not putting the needs of another before our own sacrificial.

It’s Christmas Day today and I hope you have a fabulous day with the people you love, your time is precious as are you. Be kind to each other love each other to the best of your ability. We only get one chance at this thing called life, me and Andrea are the only ones not seeing my parents tomorrow. A result of being childless. They will get a great breakfast on Boxing Day morning though… I already have some quality sausages to cook for them. Make sure you give the best you can of you today. It’s a nice soothing feeling to think that we don’t have to deal with having cancer in our lives this year, and hope our guests have a fabulous day with us. Talking about that, maybe I should get on with making some of tomorrow… 

Have a great day and a very happy Christmas to you

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB
https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. 

Your road to recovery.

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  Well, for me it’s not been the same as everybody else’s.  But what’s everybody’s else’s like, is their recovery different to mine. Yes I think so, although there are similarities. The trick is though I think, to not let other people think they are not doing as well as them, but to encourage them where they are at. No ones journey in recovery is the same as the next persons, everyone recovers at a different rate. I personally dislike it when I hear things like. “Well you will be ok” what evidence do they have to be able to say that. Will I? Wow thanks Doc… 

You see what ever you feel, what ever stage you are at in YOUR recovery, I want you to know that’s ok. You don’t have to be or get to a certain place at any specific time. It’s different for everyone, you see just because someone says it was like that for them does not mean your body will recover the same, or at the same rate. You may recover quickly, where someone else gets pains in places you never did or do. You are you, and I want you to know that you should not give yourself a hard time for your body not responding how someone else’s does.

Perspective-so a car can have a very small engine which means it’s really fuel efficient but can’t go fast, another can have a really big engine and can go really fast but is no good at fuel economy. You are who you are, accept yourself for who you are not what someone expects of you. Concentrate on healing how you heal, it may not be cancer. It maybe something completely different, but you are you. Whilst what I say is true, remember this also. That you can’t make a dream come true if you don’t dream a little.

  
So this Christmas Eve for me is special. Not for any other reason than I am alive, I am here to write to you that you can read what is written here. Because this time last year I was being operated on at 10.30 am and was supported by my wife to get me to this Christmas Eve. It’s here today, I am not on an operating table today though. I am thankful to be where I am today, I am also grateful you are able to read this. We have more to be thankful for than we realise.

Enjoy today

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB
https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. 

Because of cancer.

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Some people, people that have not had a long battle with cancer  may not understand this blog. You see in the 5 1/2 yr battle I have learnt many good things. I have learnt many good things that I would not have learnt had I just gone to hospital and had it removed. I learned there is goodness to come out of a bad situation, that is if you want it to be found. I learned that many people want to reach out and help someone else. I learned that some people will not want to reach out because they are to busy doing what they want to do. Not what they should be doing maybe.

You see people I have never met before, have become my friend because of cancer. People in Australia, USA, in many parts of the world and in many places in the uk. I have even had the pleasure of meeting some people that have been touched by cancer. People have confided in me, told me stories of the most personal nature. Real strong bonds have been formed, bonds as strong as some I have had all my life. You see cancer helps us, it makes us think more, helps us to be non assuming, kind considerate and loving towards those that have to face this terrible desease. Now I am not saying that everyone should have cancer to understand. Indeed it does not have to be cancer, just to know what it’s like to suffer grately. 

  
Great physical pain. Gives Great understanding, not of suffering but what it means to have a life. It helps us to understand what this little life means. Because only when you are faced with losing your life can you understand what having a life truly means. All through my life before cancer I heard about someone who lost his life that we may have life. I for one am grateful that I had cancer so I could understand what Jesus did for me and you that little bit more.  Cancer has taught me to have faith and believe in people. Because while they may not be the people you expect to be there for you. To love you even. Cancer has been an inspiration to me, to my wife and so many others so far. Always look for the good, even if it’s a bad situation. You won’t know it’s there unless you look.

have a great post Christmas Eve day.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB
https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. 

2015 what a year!

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  Hi all so here is my year, what 2015 had in store for me. I suppose I had better put a link up first to the song I continue to play to this day. Knowing my friends and family are there for me and were there when I needed them most.

I had planned to reach out to people with cancer at the end of 2014 and planned to be effective in people’s lives using the medium of social networks like face book and Twitter. I planned to encourage people that cancer could be beaten as I was heading into my 3 rd year cancer free. I was tentertive in doing this because I never felt cancer had left me, but I had to start believing!! It was nearly 3 years that my doctor had told me I had been in remission for. Start being grateful I said to myself and start to bless others who are not so fortunate to get a remission diagnosis. That’s why cancer stories was set up to reach people, to communicate and hopefully encourage the people out there that needed other people and hopefully build a community of caring folk that would be there for each other. 

I so wanted 2015 to be a productive year, a year where people were blessed. For me though I had to wait to get the news of my biopsy. Christmas Eve I was having a lump I found taken out only a couple of weeks after finding it. In the first week of 2015 I found out I had cancer again, same place same desease. Hodgkins Lymphoma.

Although a shock, a real shock…. I was not surprised. I was to go on ICE chemotherapy almost straight away to prepare me for my transplant. Bone marrow transplant in hospital isolated. ( I know some of you know ). I decided early on that I was going to take it day by day and not look to far into the future. Of course I needed to know what needed to be done, but I decided to deal with things on a day to day basis… Wake up, do what needed to be done, then go to sleep and repeat. Of course it did not pan out like that, me being me I decided to carry on with the journey I had decided to go on before I realised I was to have cancer again. Cancer stories, although there are not many members (just over 200) we are all there to support each other. It soon became apparent that the group I had set up to help other people was going to be of huge benefit to me.

Many people helped me, encouraged me, cryed with me. Supported me, laughed with me, or at me. The chemo was horrendous, the procedures were unbearable. But no matter what there was always cancer stories, a place where people understood what cancer was about. An army of people that helped us both to believe when we felt we had no more in us, yo believe we CAN when it seemed impossible. We had a weeks holiday in Northumberland just before I had to go into isolation, it was a much needed rest from the seemingly constant trips to the hospital appointments, chemo, scans, and of course the 8 extractions of my teeth just to be accepted for the transplant. 

  
During my time in the room I made allot of friends, although my wife was with me ( I don’t know how she did it ) but she did. She was there everyday for me, sat by my side. Constant support and encouragement, my soul mate and best friend. Many of you at Cancer stories were there for me everyday. My dad messaged me everyday without fail, such was his commitment to me.

3rd June 2015 I left hospital and drove myself home, yep that right I drove home. Then started the blood tests every week to make sure my blood was recovering  and I was responding properly to being neutrapeenic. All seemed well and I have now gotten to the point where I am back on 3 monthly visits, not seeing anyone at hospital now till next year is a very different year to last year. But one thing 2015 has taught me, and that is never to assume anything. Tomorrow is not promised to anyone, it’s what you do today that matters.  Cancer stories turned into a group of people that to this day relentlessly by choice. Show love and support to those fighting. 

What was your 2015 like?

Have a good next year, thanks for your support Cancer stories

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB
https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. 

I give myself a hard time.

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I give myself a lot of hassle you know, put myself under pressure to achieve, to do when I feel I have no energy. Still I wake up late most days, still have sleepless nights nightmares and get frustrated at how little energy I have. Should I really though, should I not be happy to be here. When I remember what we faced this time last year, non of the attempts to find out if it was indeed cancer again had failed. Christmas Eve was about having the lump in my neck removed to find out what was ahead. For some an operation is just another step forwards, for me it’s  a huge stumbling block that I could not have overcome without my wife. If I am here today it’s because of my Andie, the role I played was to do what I needed to do.

  
Just over 6 months ago it was when I walked out of that hospital, having had my bone marrow transplant. Weird thinking that this will be the first Christmas in this house cancer free. Maybe just now writing this , and reading what I am writing is making me feel like it’s real. Maybe only now am I starting to believe, that it’s true that a cancer free Christmas is possible. That we are going to have the cancer free Christmas we dream of. A bone marrow transplant is a 3 week minimum operation, going into some dark places. Yet I still give myself grief, that I am not as strong as I feel I should be. Maybe my bar is set to high, set so high I won’t get there. Or maybe I have a need within me to encourage as many people on this planet as possible. That they can, where they think they can’t that they CAN. 

  
There are many people in my circle I admire, people I look up to, people that have stood by me and stood by Andie no matter what. I will continue to expect of myself and continue to do. Because the thought of not doing just feels so Empty, it’s not what we are made of. To demand more of yourself is not a bad thing, if you are able to look around you and appreciate the world you live in. To appreciate the life you have been given, enjoying the sounds and sites the world has to offer. Knowing it’s because you did that you enjoy today.

Enjoy your week running up to the day, we remember the birth of Jesus.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB
https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. 

Life’s normal until something changes.

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Cancer changes lives by there becoming a new normal. Some may even say that normal does no exsist after you have been touched by cancer. I don’t know about that, but what is a very real fact is that many people that have suffered cancer do not ever find what’s normal again. I do have an idea for a solution though. I do feel it’s appropriate to know where you are going, to have an end game goal. It does however seem to me that people are putting to much pressure on themselves to be the normal that they were. That it’s unacceptable to have a new normal, does normal exsist on a daily basis.i think people confuse normal with comfort or continuity, that life has no change in it. Is it not the change that we face that causes people to feel depressed. Is it not mearly how we interpret the change that we face and how we choose to deal with it. I know depression is not a choice, but positivity is. Speaking good, happy and nice things are a choice.

  
People don’t like change and that is a fact, we like things to be predictable. Unfortunately cancer is far from predictable, I think in allot (not all) it’s our attitude to what may be ahead that may mean that we are able to beat it or not. Depression is after all a state of mind, and only those that have depression may disagree because they are happy to predict that they will be depressed tomorrow. People that say they are depressed will be that way, that is unless the person suggests it may be the case and are not happy to be in this state. 
What I say to people is, you are what you want yo be. If you say it, it’s so. I have heard it argued that depression is a condition, I agree. But it’s a condition you choose to NOT have, someone today put it like this. I am in that black hole they call depression, the place where everything seems bad. 

Please don’t misunderstand me I know only to well what it feels like to feel helpless,mot not want treatment anymore. To not have the strength to carry on. I know how it feels to have no answers, to put into google the word “positivity” because I was in a place where I had non. So never think that I don’t know what it’s like to be at my lowest eb because I do. I really do.

When I wake everyday, I do my best to say positive things, to avoid at all costs the black hole. We say what we are, and we believe what we say. Why wouldn’t we after all we are the person we know best in the world, so if we say we are depressed we are right. Yes that’s right you are, because you said it. Oh rest assured you will be depressed if you have said it, say it again and you will be even more. You say you can’t do something your right. The only person stopping you doing anything is you, the only person giving you the ability to say yes is you. 

  
You are the solution to your happiness, yes of course if your happy to be in that condition you will disagree with this whole blog.mpositivity is an action, a decision. These are my opinions based on my own journey, I am not a doctor, but I am drawing on choices I make everyday. Start speaking life to yourself, start telling yourself your happy to be alive. I wonder how long it will be before you realise that day you do that, that you have had a better day.
Have a great day
Fonz
http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Our support group on our FB

https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536
It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. 

1 in 4 they said.

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I was reading a blog today by Vera juice. She has had cancer to, I know her name but I won’t say here. As I read her words on death and how she felt whilst in hospital, watching an old lady live her last days. Reading how she felt and what she wanted to be able to do. I was taken straight back to that room, the room where I had my isolation. There were 4 isolated rooms on that ward and non of us saw each other. Only sent messages to each other via the nurses. It was pretty much stated that 1 out of the 4 in those rooms died every month. I cannot tell you the courage required just to walk through those doors knowing it could be me. Knowing you quite literally put your life on the line to get your life back.

It got me thinking reading Vera’s blog, what that lady would be remembered for. She had no visitors, surly there were people in the world that loved her. But what would she be rembered for? I don’t imagine she had a huge amount of cash next to the bed. Was she a good grandma, did she even have children of her own. What would she be remembered for? Which in turn got me thinking about what I would be remembered for, not being a good dad (I hope) because I have no children. Maybe being a good friend to others will be what I am remembered for, or helping people who are experiencing cancer is what I will be remembered for, a good brother? A good husband, I believe so. A good son, I could have been better, and believe I am better today. 
If anything is better today than it was, it’s because of cancer. It’s because having the courage to be put in a 1 in 4 situation of passing away I now have the positives in my life. In fact you are indeed reading something that maybe I will be remembered for. If your a great grandparent you will be remembered by your grandchildren, there is your legacy. In fact today one of my friends recalls through historic records that a grandfather back in the 1700’s was knighted. How wonderful that 300 yrs later we still remember this person because of the good he did. 

  
So what’s the point of this blog, what’s the 1 in 4 about. It reminded me of a lady that was in the end room, sadly she did not make it. Her last days were in that room, and it could have so easily have been me. That’s why I write, to encourage you to choose to make a differance. Someone close to me said “your blogs make you appear successful” they do I said, maybe that’s because I beat cancer. He smiled in agreement. What ever people remember about you when your no longer here, make sure is a good one, make sure they can smile at the life you lived.  But whatever you do, smile laugh remembering it’s not what u do when they are gone. It’s what you do in your life, not what you have that you will be remembered for.

Wow and I had no inspiration for this blog, thanks Vera. X

Have a great weekend

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB
https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. 

A hand to hold.

I’ve been sleeping lots since I got back from hospital. If there’s one thing guaranteed about a stay in hospital it will be that sleep will be hard to come by. I’m doing well. Obviously not back to fighting fit but drove the car today and have had a short stroll with the dog. Painkillers […]

https://helloverajuice.wordpress.com/2015/12/17/a-hand-to-hold/

What’s the worst part of cancer?

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The not knowing, is without doubt the hardest. Being in a situation where you are not able to know what your future holds is hard in itself. It’s a place where you can’t do anything about your future, all you can do is wait for your diagnosis. You don’t know how hard you need to hit, you are not able to prepare yourself for the road ahead.myour in limbo until your told what you have. I remember the day I was diagnosed like it was 5 minutes ago. But my brain struggles to recall the days leading up to it, the tests after tests after tests. You find yourself at the lowest point in your life, tears roll down your face for no apparent reason. It’s like you know that the you that is now, is gone forever. It’s almost as though you are starting to grieve who you were, but yet you can’t grieve because you don’t know what you are grieving yet.All you do know is that you may have cancer, the more tests that are done the more the likley hood is that you do have cancer. But how do you fight it, is it terminal? How long do I have to live? What stage am I at? How will my family cope? All of these thoughts and many many more flood through your mind ALL the time. I remember looking up at the sky one night, thinking how selfish the people on the plane were that I could see, did they not know what I may be facing. It’s a strange place to be not knowing. It is without doubt the hardest point in my life until then. The words that would come out of the consultants mouth were to change my life forever. 

  
They kept predicting the stage that my possible cancer was at. 2 a was possible at first but within the space of 2 months the probability had gone up to 4a. I mean I can’t tell you how that makes you feel, the emotional roller coaster leading up to the diagnosis day. So many things were said that day, but the only word I really heard was “cancer” then that I would die quickly without treatment. It’s the time were you need your friends more than you ever did, just to take your mind off things and bring you back to some kind of old reality again. When you grieve the death of a family member, it’s not nice how you feel inside. Yet that’s exactly what I felt whilst waiting for diagnosis, grieving the me that had gone, knowing the you that you know would never be again. That there would be a new you that you did not know! 
I am now 5 1/2 years on from diagnosis, I still morn the old me. At the same time I am starting to love the new me, while at the same time learning to live my life in new boundaries. I guess I was fortunate that my cancer was treatable, but I would have loved to have just gone under the knife once to remove it it’s never that simple though is it. All this time having treatment yet I have a feeling of elation, of defiance that I have beaten this evil desease. No matter how horrendous chemo makes you feel, how scary the procedures are.mi still say the worst is the not knowing. 
Here’s lifting a glass to Life!
Enjoy what you have, life is THE most precious gift you have.
Fonz
http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Our support group on our FB

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Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. 

The worst thing to say to a cancer patient.

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Could today be it? Are you really bothered? You get in your flash car, go to work fulfil the demands put on you by your work place. Earn enough, for what? To be stuck in traffic come home eat then fall asleep without family time. If that’s you, you have had no wake up call. No shock to make you think differently. That’s great, I so hope you never do. But if your still reading this then you do actually care. One thing is for sure that we will die one day, but what will we be remembered by? Our house, what we owned, our car. Or what we did for others, you see for me I want to be remembered for what I did rather than what I had. I hope to be remembered for being involved in other people’s lives, not the person that said I would and never did. I was watching 24 hours in A&E last night, it got me thinking that people only stop and think when they have a trauma in their lives. They only  truly reflect when our paths are forced to change.
I really related to that, because the same happened to me. When I got cancer I could clearly see where my last days would be, it was a wake up call a realisation that I am not as invincible as I thought I was. That there is actually an end. Andies mum ( I loved her so much) used to say this. It’s not what you do when someone’s gone it’s what you do in their lives. It’s true isn’t it, we have the chance now and we think that money and a living is enough. What’s the point in all that if there are no moments of reflection. No moments of peace, of sharing thoughts with others and love. Weekend should not be recovery time to go to be fit for another weeks work. Weekend should be time for family and friends to do in their lives now, before its to late. 

  
Like this blog, it’s written forever. People can read this in generations to come, maybe people will want to read my thoughts more when I am gone, I guess that’s just human nature. What this blog is about is to do my best to help you to see, that it’s not to late. It never is whilst we have breath, while we are able. The worst thing to say to a cancer patient is. I am here if you need anything, just ask. Because when your that ill you can’t ask, you don’t even feel like typing.even breathing is an affront never mind walking, talking and phoning someone. What ever you do will be appreciated   Trust me. But don’t say those words. “You know where I am” because although the person does know that, they won’t ask.

  
 Just do, and make their day by turning up with some food, even if they don’t feel like it. I remember when I was at my lowest Eb my friend Johnny came up to the house and dived on me, giving me a huge hug. I didn’t want him there, even hated that he came. But as soon as I had that hug and saw his wife. My mind changed, we had a great night that night and will never forget it. Johnny did for me where others said those words, don’t get me wrong many people did. That is just one example.

Have a great week

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB
https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. 

Giving is healing

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What is the ethos of Cancer stories, why does it exsist. Is it helpful to share our exsperiences with others, or does it scare people to know what’s ahead. Well I believe that sharing is healing, that we as humans can keep what we have learnt or exsperienced locked away or we can tell people how it was for us. I am finding many people are, and have to date been and have been blessed by people sharing. Some have even gotten belief in themselves that they can do it, that they can get up and beat this terrible deasease that has taken so many people’s lives. To believe because we did, that they can do the same, to Kick cancers Butt.
There are many stories that come out of Cancer stories, I am very aware that soon I will have to sum up the last year. something I don’t want to do. Sharing our stories has gotten people out of bed, it’s helped with self belief, still helped with confidence. Helped people to be lifted up simply by sharing sometimes how hard something is. You see, when someone knows it’s gonna be tough and has seen someone come through, believe it or not it gives hope that they can. Hope that by determination and the power of our will makes us believe we CAN. More over that your not alone, that there are people that understand what you have to face, we are an army there always any time of the day or night here for you. 
Our lives have been touched by cancer some how, which makes us motivational. It makes us experienced, it makes us empathic instead of sympathetic. Anyone can have sympathy but not many people on earth can empathise with another. It’s because you have had cancer that you now have the gift of exsperience that can touch others. Only when someone has been through the exsperience can you empathise with another. Maybe that’s why I had it, maybe that’s why cancer touched me to wake me up, to help me realise that effort brings healing and by sharing our stories, we can bring healing to others because of our experiences. 

  
We are all linked throughout the world as humans. But empathy is one of the most powerful tools at our disposal. It’s very powerful what we have felt and exsperienced, where I hope no one ever has to suffer cancer and the horrific treatment that goes with it. Those that have, have a special gift that they don’t even realise they have. Simply because you have been touched by cancer, what you have been through can help another. The only person in the way of that is you.
We can all hold our head in our hands and ask why me, but by holding our head up and sharing our story people’s lives are affected and even healed, because of you.
But will you?
Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB
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Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. 

What would I say to a 15 yr old me?

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Driving back from a dog walk today, thats what my wife asked me. What would you say to a 15yr old you if you had the chance to talk to him. What an interesting question. I was quick to respond though, although not something I had ever thought about before. 

  
It seemed obvious to me, but then when you look back isn’t it easier to know the answers to a life you have lived rather than when you were actually living it. I mean the 15 yr old me was selling dog chews on the back of a go-kart, working 3 Saturday jobs in the summer I worked 4 paper rounds. I started to be interested in girls though, that was proberbly my downfall. That’s where I wasted all my money, trying to make girls happy, should I not have just been friends with them instead of chasing. Well it’s funny because I did not mention any of that in my answer to my wife. My answer was simple, because with a couple of simple rules in place the rest would have followed.

“concentrate on being the best you can be at one thing, and don’t exspect to get rich quick. Just do your best everyday, and learn from your mistakes don’t regret them”
That was what I said, I stand by it because is not the love of money the route of all Evil. Is not knowledge power, if you know more than your neighbour on a subject how can they dispute your decisions. By being the best you possible you become a person people gravitate towards because along with that comes confidence, self assurance. With all that comes the need for others to purchase your knowledge.

Well that’s my answer, what would your answer be, don’t think it in your head. Comment and tell us all so we can learn from what you have learnt also. We are all on different journeys aren’t we, I watched a video today of a lady aged 101 enjoying the snow even making a snow ball and throwing it. Simple things in life can mean so much, it’s down to us to make sure people in our lives get to enjoy some of those simple things isn t it. I am so glad I have faith in my life, it gives us a complete new dimension to everything.

Have a great week.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB
https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. 

The good Muslim.

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One day, a Christian of America

made up in his mind to test Jesus, saying, “Teacher, remind me on how I am to inherit eternal life.” Jesus said to him, “What is written in the New Testament? How do you read it?” And he answered, “I must have faith in him whom God has risen from the dead. It is a living faith which leads me to love God and my neighbor.” And Jesus said to him, “You have answered correctly; do this, and you will live.”
But the Christian of America, didn’t fully appreciate the answer. He straightened his back. Cast a smirk of a smile and said to Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?” 
Jesus replied, “A man was going from Washington D.C. to Philadelphia, and he was car-jacked by several persons, who stole his clothes, seized his smartphone, broke his ribs, cracked his skull, leaving him unconscious on the side of the road. Now it happened to be the time of a great conference and a pro-life group was passing by, and when they saw the man, they passed on by. Likewise a missionary group who just returned from India, when they came to the exact same location, they too passed on to the other side. 
But a Muslim, as he traveled to work, saw the man on the side of the road, and when he saw him, he entered into his suffering. He pulled out his first aid kit, tended to the man’s injuries and then called 911 for emergency assistance. He followed the ambulance to the hospital and sat over night with the man in ICU. Next morning he told the hospital billing office, “Here is my credit card. Take care of him and whatever he needs.”
Jesus looked at the Christian of America and with strong eyes asked, “Which of these three, do you think, proved to be a neighbor to the man carjacked?”
The Christian of America clenched his fist. He looked around fumbling with the keys in his pocket. He finally looked up to Jesus and said, “The one who showed him mercy.” 
And Jesus says to the Christian of America, 
“You go, and do the same.”
This retelling of the Parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37) was inspired by my friend Jared Wilson who tweeted on Monday December 7, 2015:
“If Jesus were telling the parable we call The Good Samaritan to many evangelicals today, it might be known as The Good Muslim.”
This year has proven we need to revisit this parable and others like it to recover how we are to live as Christians in this current climate. We are seeking to justify ourselves and how we treat others on the basis of our citizenship, ethnicity, sexual orientation, or political affiliation. Such justifications lead us only to love those who are like us. This parable demonstrates the power of transformative love when those who are in conflict share in each other’s suffering. This parable is spoken to those who ask the question, “What must I do to inherit life?” 
Jesus is speaking to us today. 
Jesus is telling us a old story in a new way.
Jesus who has showed us mercy now says, 
“You go, and do the same. It will cost you time. It will cost you resources. It will cost your life. But because I have give you the power of an indestructible life. You go, and do the same. Show mercy as an act of gratitude for the mercy you have received.”

Written by http://www.phillipfletcher.org

We need to remember the story of the Good Samaritan. We need to remember that we are all brothers and sisters. Let’s stop labelling each other,and start loving each other, we may not understand what people wear or why some have certain traditions. But isn’t it about loving your Nieghbour no matter what race or religion they are. We are all learning.

Fonz.

My name is Araminta. (Some childhood memories)

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When I was young we used to rent stories from the library in charlton. You know bbc storey tellers, you used to get them on tape and rent them for a small fee. I think the narrator was called Johnny Morris. Whilst researching The narrator and BBC presenter of the programme “animal magic” I got thinking of all the other things my real young childhood stood for. Programmes like swop shop.

A programme where you could speak to a pop star such as Adam Ant. I remember this person most as in my cancer journey a friend of mine said I looked like him in a particular picture I took.

  
Prince Charming he said I was doing a rendition of!

It was a time where the record breaker hosted by Roy castle broke records live on TV. Here is one I remember that amazed me.

Pt 2

Pt 3

I think it’s good to remember what we had growing up, I guess the very best present me and Jeremy ever had was the ZX Spectrum 128 k one of the first computers to grace our homes. Here I am typing this buy touching a screen. Watching a 47″ flat screen TV. My how life has changed, how technology has changed how we do things now. I mean my mum and dad get over 300 Christmas cards. I get over 200 messages from people wishing us merry Christmas. I can’t even begin to imagine what the next 35 years will produce.

When I was growing up we communicated with people by phone one at a time. Now tens of thousands can have the same information at the same time.

I grew up listening to Johnny Morris on a tape recorder, watching a black and white television. Noel Edmonds and then Tizwas, which tended to push the boundaries of what we were allowed to watch. We watched the Sullivan’s at lunch time, John Nokes was on Blue peter. News round was our news and we talked to other people in our family by something called speech. We sat at a table for tea, played out on bikes instead of looking at a screen most of the day to communicate.

Looking back I loved Araminta, and those Johnny Morris stories, Thomas the tank engine narrations. My memory is horrendous but the last 3-4 hours of research has brought back so many happy memories for me.

Thanks Dad and Mum, you did a great job.

I hope you have had some happy memories given back to you because you read this, have a great day.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB
https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. 

What is true love.

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You have heard people say it have  you not ?. “you will know your in love when you feel it.” There are many things that need to be in place for people to know what true love is. I myself believe the first thing someone needs to love someone else, is to like the person you are, to love yourself even. To think of yourself as a good person, to trust yourself that your are the best you that you can be today.

  
Love for me means putting the person you love before your needs, everyone deserves to be loved. I hear people saying “your so lucky to have each other” I say we are good people and deserve each other. Take the cancer journey we have just been on, if I did not love those around me would I really have done my treatment. Would it not have been easier to just say, “I have what I have” then not fought. Is that not a selfish way to look at it. Do you not not only show respect to yourself, and the people you love around you. Cancer has with out doubt brought me and Andie closer together not torn us apart, because we knew that what we did we did for each other. I am closer to my family members that were relentless in being there for us.

  
It’s a great honour to be prayed for by people but it’s what we do for a person that makes us feel the love from someone. Family supported us in my cancer journey. Showing us we are loved and cared for greatly, I just look on CS at the messages left by people for people that are loved by so many. 

True love is shown in what we do, not what people say that they do. It’s not just a feeling, it’s an act of sacrifice and giving from the heart. Isn’t that what Christmas is about, showing love to those that we care about. Real love is not just a feeling it’s an action, it’s  an action that shows you are cared about. It’s a choice in what we do or don’t do. One person we will never forget and showed Andie love in our journey was Rachel in allowing her to be with me in treatment. That kind of love has meant so much to us as a family. 

What will you do for someone to show them you love them this year? To help them feel the love you have for them. True love is about putting the other person first, if you both do that it will always work.

Have a great weekend

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB
https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. 

It’s not what you do, as long as you do.

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Right now as I Wright, everything I have just written has been deleted. My I pad has updated and I have lost allot of what I have written before, and what I have written today. All my drafts have gone, and can’t tell you how annoyed I am. But I will attempt to remember what I have written earlier, I just have one word that helps me remember what I wrote “willing”

I wrote about being willing to do as opposed to dwelling on what you had not done. In other words. Don’t concentrate on the things you could/should have done. Concentrate on what you have done. You can’t change what you could have done, but you can change what you can do today. It’s about being willing to do, as apposed to wanting to give someone a sizeable gift. 

  
It’s not always how big the gift is, it’s sometimes the small things that matter the most.

Going back to the wallet storey yesterday. I remember a friend of mine (Peter) a tramp people called him. His dad was a minister like mine. We understood each other and he valued the time we spent together in the early hours chatting. Well I did, he’s not alive to ask now. But Peter found a wallet with £600 in it and walked the 16 mile round trip to deliver it, with every penny intact. Some people would think that was a big thing to do, not peter. That was a normal thing to do, he did not even accept money for the bus fare home. (He walked) every penny was intact. That to him was a small thing to do, it made him famous in the area, and many many more people gave him hot drinks because of it like I did.

Remember this, it’s not what you didn’t do yesterday, it’s what you choose to do today in this today. Because tomorrow’s today will be the same chance you had today. 

Enjoy doing for someone today, if your willing of course.

Fonz
http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB
https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. 

R2 D2

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Story time again, so this is how my wife puts it on the phone to one of her colleagues. Both the washing machine and the dishwasher have forgotten what they are supposed to do, her colleague asks with intrigue. What she means by that. Well she said, the pots come out the dish washer dirtier than they went in, and the washing machine thinks it’s R2 bleedin D2, because when it spins it shuffles across the floor thinking its in an episode of starwars. I love being married, it’s so much fun our house is full of fun and laughter. Isn’t it great to have a fun outlook as opposed to dwelling on the fact that 2 of the most expensive appliances in the house have stopped working.

Isn’t it better to look on the bright side of life as appossed to dwelling on the negatives. Like it happening 3 weeks before Christmas aswell. 

  
I guess we are excited to be having Christmas without cancer in our lives, and it does not matter what happens now! We are determined to enjoy Christmas this year, the love we have between each other is shining through far more this year I think than any other year. Knowing our friends will be with us for Christmas Day aswell. It makes no difference what so ever, what life throws at us this year. We are GOING to have a fantastic festive season celebrating the fact that Jesus was born. Celebrating that I was born that Andie was born, celebrating LIFE. Celebrating, love, friendship, friends, happiness, faith and family. 

  
Loving and embracing this life we have , being thankful for today and believing we will have a tomorrow. At the moment the TV is off and we are listening to the new cold play album Amazing day is playing, and no matter what you face it is amazing that you live. We are amazing people, and I choose no matter what to enjoy every minute of Christmas 2015. I hope you will join me as we celebrate this year, I hope you will choose to celebrate the life you have been given with us this year. I hope you will laugh with us, and enjoy filling the house you live in with love and laughter. Instead of being upset your washing machine thinks it’s taken on the personality of a Star Wars character, and forgotten it’s job!

Have a great day.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB
https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. 

It’s not shortbread, it’s marks and Spencer’s shortbread.

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It story time, me and the wife have allot of fun in our lives. I mean take today for instance we went to tescos together. (we don’t ever shop together)   Of course the subject of Christmas presents came up, we were stood in front of the shortbread. Now you have to know at this point that this is not about the value there are a couple of factors in the story I am about to tell you. Firstly that our neighbours across the road, our new hyasinth and her husband Ian. Apparently my wife had bought them some expensive short bread from mns. 

  
She continued to explain that their present was in the car, the same one as we gave to Kevin and Gillian when we went up to the caravan she continued. I was a little michivious because although what I was about to say was true, I knew it would create issues for my wife. Which ever way you cut it. You see because my wife’s birthday is at the beginning of December. We don’t even plan for Christmas until the day afterwards. We had not given the first box away for Christmas, but the second box was for Ian and Dorothy our posh neighbours. So it was kinda unspoken until it was after Andreas birthday.

So like I say Andie was telling me the present was in the car for them. Andie I said. “Yes darling” she said. I was almost laughing but was containing myself because this happened before her birthday. “I gave that box to the dustmen for Christmas” it was like lighting the blue touch paper. You gave that £10 box of mns shortbread to the dustmen, BEFORE my birthday. Breaking your own rule! “Yup” I said. I am not joking you would think it was out last pound. It then became more of an issue because I had given away presents that she had to buy again. Even a lady near us was laughing and said to Andie that I was joking. Which I am quite obviously not. 

Even on getting into the car she thought I was joking and even looked for the box on arriving back home.. I was in hysterics driving home, made even worse by the fact that the farm shop she wanted me to drive her to was shut… I found it all so funny I just had to tell you all, I hope you had a giggle reading as we did in real life. Life can be fun if we let it. 

Have a great day

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB
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Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. 

Christmas tree.

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For my whole life time I have had a Christmas tree, sometimes small but the older I got the bigger the tree got. We are now up to a 9ft 3″ we did have a bigger one once living in this house. But the position meant my wife could not see me or the T.V. But this year is not about size, it’s about what it means to us. What having a Christmas tree has started to mean to me. Well the tree has started to become a memory tree, a reminder of the situations and people that brought us to where we are today.

When I was a boy the tree to me meant (family) it symbolised I was a part of a family and I had put things on it which made me feel I belonged to that family. It was quite intense just to be asked to be a part of it. Now though, it’s my home, my dad or mum is not head of this house. Me and Andie are, which got me cogitating about what out tree meant to me. 

  
Our tree means memories, it means friendship, life, belonging, faith, love and family. Tonight like so many around the world are decorating their trees, putting things on it that remind them of what and who they want to be reminded of. We have a bell on ours, it reminds Andie of her family. When she gets it out every year she says the same thing. I won’t tell you what that is, it’s our family. But it’s her reminder of family, of her upbringing, of the life she had before we had our very own family tree. That brought me to thinking about what the different decorations meant to us over the years. That Cancer has been a part of my life, 1/8th of it. Yet there is nothing there to reminds me I had won.

We don’t want that reminder though, but we do want one reminder. That is of the people we all hope and remember more at this time than we normally do. Other people that are members of CS that maybe have won or lost. All the Same I want a memory to put up on the tree that reminds me of all the people at Cancer stories EVERY year. You any ideas? I would love us all to have one to put up. Maybe Joshua could make one for us? Let me know what you think? And I hope your tree stands for what ours stands for. Your tree is yours and can mean to you what ever you want it to. But what ever you want, it will always mean life.

Have a great week 

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB
https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. 

It’s because of you.

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Whilst enjoying the meal, with Cancer stories members. It was non stop talking, there was not a gap. Only when I was walking back from the toilet did it hit me, as I walked back I saw everyone chatting, laughing, smiling and just enjoying each other’s company. I can’t tell you how special it was just seeing that, that all those people not only had been touched by cancer but were  willing to help others who were facing a journey of hell. I realised how special these people were, that they were the reason someone had hope. I realised that they had played a part in someone’s life to help them to carry on and not to give up. Or indeed themselves had been the one that chose NOT to give up.

  
Wow what an amazing group of people, and indeed a privilege to even be associated to them, but then it got me thinking. These people that were in front of me, had helped me. They had helped me to carry on, to find the courage some how to continue. That these people before me were so very special if they knew it or not, they are and were very special to me. I don’t want today to end, because the new friends I have made have made me realise something. They have helped me do have life for the future I now have before me.

 http://youtu.be/QtXby3twMmI
That it is indeed “because of you” that I live today. You prayed, you encouraged, you talked to me into the small hours of the night, you told me I could do it, you helped me to believe I could when I thought there was no way. You cried with me, you hugged me, you got angry I had to face it with me. It was you that helped me, you that helped me to live. Your encouragement, your words, your love. If your a believer, friend or family member, you were used to help me to live. It is my hope that many people will be helped because of you being a part of Cancer stories. I want to thank you all, life’s short and a special gift. Treasure what you have, not what you had. What you have is far more precious than what you had. 

Thank you for being in my today.

Fonz
http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB
https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. 

The cancer stories story.

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Well today has been a great day, meeting up with some of the members of our FB group. People that did not and would not know each other had we not been affected by cancer. It is a group of people  that are committed to each other, committed to supporting and loving each other through the hard times, and laughing with each other. A group of people that understand one and all, people that have had similar experiences and understand both on an emotional and physical level. Where others not touched by cancer will hopefully never know. 

  
13 months ago I set the group up with thoughts of reaching out to others, I had the idea some 2 1/2 years earlier. I am kicking myself that I did not set it up bk then. But it’s today that matters, and all of those people that are in that group have had to realise a new normal. Over 200 people are in the group although there has been many more people come and go in the group. The people in it now have become friends, leading us to today.

 
Today 14 of us met for lunch, at San Marco near Preston. It’s amazing how something so very terrible can bring so many so close, at times it was emotional. But 99% of our time together was happy, filled with laughter and stories of how we had come to all be sat in that same room together. How positive we all were, how up beat to be sat with people that understood each other. It was a special time, a time I for one found priceless. Again we have made memories that will last forever, made friendships with people that will last the test of time because of cancer. It was a great big STUFF you cancer, because WE (cancer stories) are stronger together. We are who we are because of each other.

  
To each and everyone of you that came today, for however long. THANK YOU. It’s because of you there is an us, because there is an us there is cancer stories. How wonderful that we can take something positive in friendship because of cancer. One of the girls there today said this “this is my new normal, but I want a better new normal than this” I agree, it’s only when we accept there is a new normal in a life with cancer that we can make our new normal better. 

So thanks to everyone who encourages and supports one another at CS. Your all just as important as each other. 

Have a nice night,

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB
https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. 

Memories!

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Its cancer that’s taught me this, that there is only one thing it can’t stop you having and or making. Memories. I am starting to become addicted to memories, to making time for people I care about and love. Cancer has taught me how precious life is, and the memories we make are more valuable than the money that pays the bills. There are some songs that when you play them they are completely different to the memories they invoke. Like this song I just bought, called summer sadness. But it reminds me of laughter and happiness. Why is that? It’s not a rhetorical question I really want to know.

A friend of mine said  these words to me on messenger tonight “honey JD” memories came flooding back of a time when we had a lads holiday, I smiled when I saw the text. In fact I still smile now, a great time in my life and in my friends. I know that because if I said “honey JD” to the ones that were there they would have memories to. One was going into the bakery and tasting choclate pastries at 5am at the on site bakery in the hotel we were staying at. 

  
Memories bring us alive, they can’t be stolen. They can’t be broken, scratched or erased unless of course we are unfortunate to exsperience alzimers or other horrible deseases. It’s about enjoying now, and being grateful for now. But also looking back lovingly on the past that’s happened, friends are the ones that know and understand us. Sometimes people that think they know us, are the ones that guess. The ones that do know us are in the happy memories you have created together. 

Me and Andie have done allot of memory making lately, and I tell you now. WE are loving it, how awesome it is to be making them instead of remembering the horror that has been in recent days and months. Savour today because tomorrow is not promised to anyone, I thank God for 2015 and the people that are in our lives. It is truly awesome to have a life isn’t it…!

Recall the great stuff, and if you feel it’s not possible then make some.

Enjoy

Fonz

  http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB
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Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. 

Dealing with being Neutropenic.

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Sometimes I recall moments in my cancer journey quite clearly, Neutropenic is a word that people have heard but are unaware of what it means. So I will do my best to exsplain how it feels and what it means.

Warning – this is my exsperience not a medical account!

So as I understand it we have white blood cells, these work together with our lymphatic systems to protect us against illness, they are the ninjas of our blood killing and imprisoning anything bad within our bodies. When someone is on chemotherapy, the drugs kill all the hood cells and the fighters that are white in our blood. They get killed by the poison which is chemo, which then makes the person having treatment vulnerable to becoming ill from other infections such as viruses, colds, chest infections and so forth. That’s why I get so cross when I see someone sniffing and coughing sat with a patient, thinking they are helping they actually put the person and others around at risk, not only of the infection they have as they don’t have a defence. But also the other people being treated also are at risk. It’s actually selfish to have a cold and visit someone on chemo. Even packages need wiping with antibacterial wipes at least. 

  
Good blood will always reproduce new cells which is one of the reasons why people on chemo are so tired, because the body is fighting all the time. As well as doing the normal things that it does, it’s attempting to get rid of the poison that is chemo. It’s an exstreme situation having chemo, and people don’t realise how hard it is unless you have had to deal with it. Neutrapeenic is a step further, when your blood is in this state it means that there is not a reduction from. (Eg 5.6 to 2.8) it is at 0.00 this means there is absolutely no defence from anything what so ever. It makes you feel unreasonable, giving you out of control feelings. Such as falling feelings, floating feelings and exstremly insecure feelings. When it first happened to me having my transplant,mall I was told is you will feel like your having your worst hangover ever. 

  
For me, it was nothing like it. I was reminded today I am a control freak, maybe not a freak but I love to have control of situations. It’s not a bad thing, it’s just how I am made why change how I am made. After all that is not a choice, it’s part of my make up. When in this condition they call Neutropenic you are without doubt out of control. It was far worse than a hangover, I wanted to run away from what I felt. I needed distractions from what I felt inside, and calming even which I did by the use of strong tranquillisers. It’s how I dealt with it, although having Paul there to talk with was huge for me and for Andie. Imagine how she felt and having to leave me there to whilst she went and crawled into a duck down duvet. Well she didn’t, she slept on the settee knowing I was not comfortable. 

It’s dangerous in that state and germs have to be kept away at all costs, when you start to come back and your blood gets to 1.0 on the white blood cells you are sent home. I have tried to forget the feelings I felt in there, but I guess it never leaves you. So that’s it Neutropenic in brief. If you have any questions I would be happy to answer you.

Have a good day, you are amazing.

Fonz

  http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB
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Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. 

“London baby” my wife’s 40th.

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“London Baby”

This is our diary of London, we are now on the train first class to London on the Virgin 1st class (cheap ticket) to London. all the same we are under way to celebrate Andies 40th birthday in “London Baby” we are attempting to watch the final Grand Prix in Abu Dhabi but the video won’t work.. Ah well. This is going to be a positive time.. We have lots planned which I will tell you about as we do it. I tell you what I wish I had done a diary before I started my blog. But we can only focus on now, and change today.

  
On arriving in London we took a taxi to our hotel Copthorne millenium hotel (Chelsea) nearby our friend Danny had recommended we go to Bordeans an American place for food that did bbq and smoked or bbqed meats. I decided to have a large burnt end, that they are famous for Andie really enjoyed hers as did I. Unfortunately though we filled ourselves up to our throats and on going back to the room we were just groaning in pain because we had eaten so much. Andie was asleep very quickly, whilst I well was not a happy stuffed pig.

   
In the morning we got up sharp, had breakfast and went out to get on the red original bus tour. We did the red route first, from Victoria to Victoria then stopping for lunch in Browns where we had a nice bottle of Malbec (Argentina) one of our favourite full bodied wines. Oh how my parents will frown on that, wine at lunch tut tut.. After finishing our lunch we decided to do the yellow route and see London sights in the rain. We got off at Piccadilly walking through Leicster square, and Trafalgar Square. Finally having our tea at bar1 at the embankment. We both had the gourmet burger although it was more like a Burger King with a gurkin. 

  
That was Andies last day in her 30’s, the next day was her 40 th and I wanted to give her some memories that she had wanted all of her life.

  

 
Firstly we went to Buckingham palace getting off the underground at St James park the nearest stop to the palace, so we could see the changing of the guard. Something Andrea had wanted to do all of her life. We got there 1hr 20 mins before it started. I like to get places early so we get the best spot. We were to find out it was indeed the very best spot… Although we were pushed and shoved quite allot by a Romanian or Russian family from behind, really pushing us trying to get our vantage point. It was amazing the actual changing of the guard. It lasted about 40 mins the only negative was the family behind trying to get our vantage point…

  

We then walked through 3 parks green park, Hyde park, and Kensington park on our way to the natural history museum. Having a picture taken next to the peterpan statue on our way through. Will attach pitchers, we had lunch in the museum. 

   
   
Lamb tagine for me and Soup for Andie. Then it was time to go back and get ready for the cruise. Andie had a long evening dress on and looked fabulous. Unfortunately I am to fat for my wedding suit pants so I did not wear my intended dickie bow. Gym for me in the new year.

   
 
On arriving at the boat and being shown to our seat, I think the realisation of the day started to dawn on Andie. She got quite emotional, we were on the Thames having a fabulous meal in amazing surroundings with the person that we both adore. It was incredible that we had even made it to this point, we were both very emotional inside that we had made it to this point in our lives and were able to celebrate Andies 40 th birthday together. 

   
   
The meal was awesome, it was really nice to be able to relax and forget about cancer for a while. Seeing the sights as we passed on the floating restaurant, Houses of Parliament, Big Ben, London eye, IBM lol. And many more, the last sentence Andie said to me was, “Marky, this is the best birthday EVER” how nice to make dreams come true. She had dreamt of the natural history museum and changing of the guard from a small girl and we had made it happen.
So now we are on the way home via Baker Street. Have a great day, and if you have a dream, you CAN make it come true. Have non and it won’t.
Have a great day.
Fonz
http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Our support group on our FB
https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. 

I learnt a great lesson today.

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You are enough? Is that true? Should we really be pleased with who we are today? Or should we strive to (as the advert says) BE MORE DOG. The fact is you are what you are today, the decisions you have made have brought you to today. WRONG!

  
In life, yes sometimes you can say that we chose to be who we are today. But what about the things that you have no control over. Cancer, do we have control over cancer. Control over if we do indeed get it or don’t. Well I myself have asked many people why we get cancer, and why some don’t even though they smoke 60 a day drink a bottle of whiskey a day. Yet they don’t get cancer! I will look into this after Christmas more, I want to look more at how we can ourselves learn, or even teach ourselves how not to get cancer, but also if it’s not in our control or not.

I was sat in a hot tub in Mexico after most of the friends I had made had gone home. A surgeon in his 70’s drinking triple Brandys all day long. I was curious and had to ask him, I had to know how he and his wife were in such good health. Did he not worry about illness. He said a couple of things to me, one was “if you drink eat, alcoholics have short lives because they don’t eat” ok I can get that. He said two other things to me though. He said “whatever you drink make sure you drink the same in water” I was also in agreement with that. So I asked him, so if someone gets cancer is it their fault? His answer was simple “no not at all, it’s a lottery Fonz” I looked him right in the eyes. He knew I had had cancer. “Is it I said” yes he continued, “you either do or you don’t”  

  
It was kind of a comfort, but I am not so sure. Doctors as a GP don’t get taught about nutrition, they are taught what to prescribe and for what. I will look into this in the new year and exsplained my findings, but once we know what to do we CAN lower the risk of ever getting it or ever getting it again if indeed we have had it before like I have twice. But in short, we do have control over what we put in our bodies. The better the quality the less of a risk we are at. Like my friend Rob says, eat a rainbow of food in a week, of good quality naturally grown food.

So what did I learn, I learnt this. 

You are enough, because of what you chose to to be now. But the decisions you make today, can change the future of more than just you. You choose to affect others or not, and it’s in that choice of helping someone, in whatever capacity that means you achieve more. Because some think that helping is giving of yourself. I say giving is not only to the person but to your own growth to.

  
Today is Andies 40th birthday. Tomorrow I will tell you how it went.

I hope you enjoy your first door of your advent calendar.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
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Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.