The dream

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The dream for me was always way above what I could reach, pie in the sky some might say.  Well that certainly was not the case, I mean how hard can it be to have standards and stick to them. I have had to meet allot of people to find the right person for me. A person that would allow me to be me, someone that would laugh whole heartedly with me. Someone that was secure in who they were, somone who was not afraid of work. She did not have to be a super model, but I certainly did not want to wake up scared of what I saw every day.

  
To fulfil a dream, everything has to be the best. In a dream impossible things are made possible, made possible by the amazing imagination that we all have. What we dream is not always the best for us though, there is someone who has better plans for us than ours could ever be. For ours are restricted by us, we always come in the way are try to make our dreams tangable.

  
The reality is this cliche “you have to have a dream to make a dream come true”  so dream as much as you like. Because the dreams you have WILL come true if you believe they will. You have to believe, and in believing be prepared to put in the effort. As life moves on our exspectations change, what we hope for changes and we start to persue different avenues. I guess some may say I live the dream, roof over my head, an amazing wife, our lab Faith and of course our puss in boots Jenson. 

  
 The one thing you have to have before a dream comes a reality, is belief. Belief it’s possible, and belief in yourself to make it happen. There are to many unhappy people in the world because they settled for second best. In doing that contentment is never achieved, the best for us leads us to be happy. Oh how I love to look out of the window and see our garden grow. But better I like to look at our garden grow with my wife by my side.

  
There is no reason for you to stop believing in your dream in a different way. Just because life throws you a rough deal we can still find beauty and happiness if we choose. Anyone can sit in a seat and complain. It’s the winners that get up everyday and make it happen. We all have points where we get slowed down because of the things that happen in our lives. Just make sure you never lose sight of your dream.

Mark
http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.

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Determination

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This is a word that I have come to understand in many different ways over the past few years, although I have come close to the word in different situations. The translation of the word speaks of success because of grit and determination. I am not so sure if all determination brings success, in my case it gave me more life to enjoy. I suppose that can be classed as success. It just depends what you see as success.  I don’t think things is a mark of that, I personally think if you want to see the substance of a man look at his friends.

  
Mine are very diverse, but one thing all of them have in common they are considerate. They are all caring people, always wanting to help others as they walk the path we call life. I have been very disappointed by some people I regarded as friends, people I had been there for were not there for me when I needed them in my fight with cancer. I cannot come up with the answers as to why people would all of a sudden become silent because you are in trouble with your health. If you have any thoughts I would be glad to hear what your opinions are.

  
Love is the greatest gift of all the Bible teaches us. But despite the bible teaching this, I hold this opinion anyway. What greater gift is there to have from someone other than love. It costs nothing, yet means everything. It brings renewed energy, but yet costs nothing. I believe that it’s actions that show a person not words, so anything you do for a person shows the love you have within you. You were given the gift of love within you when you were born. But you learnt how to hate, you were taught it, by television, others opinions, reactions and actions showed you how to be horrible. But you never had to learn how to love. Why?

  
Because every person is born out of an act of love, you already knew what love is. Something you never had to learn, but what you can do is learn how to use your free gift better than before. All you have to do is do. It’s that simple do for someone else not you, it’s the secret to success. The secret is giving. Someone said to me there are two types of people in life. Givers and takers. By being determined you can make more of a difference, a determined person, makes things happen. Someone that takes is restricted by their lack of determination. Your choice to be determined will change lives.

  
But that’s your choice.

Mark
http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.

Life is a gift.

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You ever sat down and truly tried to understand what makes YOU work. That your heart, lungs work without having you thinking about it seamlessly whilst you go about your day. How amazing it is that we are given time on this earth, it does not matter how long we are here for each day of our lives is a special gift. 

  
As I was writing this, I felt compelled to go across to see the lady with the beautiful smile. Wendy is her name, only to find her mum had died. How very very sad, that today she was taken. It was a privalage to sit with her and her son for a short time speaking fondly of Grandma Jenny’s life and memories. Life is indeed precious and who would have thought it would have been shown to us today in such a real way. Can we just pause for a moment and say a prayer.

  
“Father thank you for this gift of life, you have given to us. Please draw close to grandma Jenny’s family at this time. Show them your love through the Holy Spirit in Jesus name I ask. Amen

Thank you for reading today, but I find my thoughts are with this family today. Even though this is the case I still feel compelled to finish writing this. 

It’s you that has the gift of life, it’s a gift you have been given. Use it well, use your exsperiences well. Even if you have a life threatening disease, your fighting. What ever situation you find yourself in please use it the best you can. Bless others with the breath you have, help others to know there is hope. Give with a pure heart never counting the cost. I for one will do my best to love my fellow man and help someone today to see how precious this life is. 

  
You are unique no one else can do what you can the way you can.

Have a great day.

Mark
http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.

Compliments In cancer.

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Good morning, I hope your feeling good. I want to share with you again today how I feel, what makes me feel good as a cancer patient, or even as I am now in recovery. The sentence we all dread “you look great” as a seasoned cancer patient, these words grate on me. We all know we don’t look grate, we have had chemo and or radiation. Which makes us look crap, our hair falls out, (in all locations) your skin colour changes and you actually look fatigued. Now I don’t want to go on about how the things people say make us feel bad rather I would like you to know things we appreciate. These things are usually unspoken.

  
A hug – man, I can’t tell you how much energy a hug gives me. It’s like you have pulled into a petrol station and are being refilled with love. We often have so much on our minds, when’s the next appointment, what can’t and can I eat. Have I had enough water today, did I have my anti sickness, did I take my tablets at the right time. All these single tasks take us away from normal living.

  
A meal – this means a colossal amount to a home that’s buried in cancer, a home affected by cancer. Because eating is actually perfunctory, you have no taste, and most things taste like rubber. But a good nutritional meal brought to your home, gives rest bite. Not only for the person with cancer but for the person caring. A one pot is usually perfect.

  
Note – please make sure extra care in cleanliness is taken if doing this for someone on chemo. Also to check what things they are maybe not allowed.

A cuppa – this must come without the question “how are you doing” ( How am I doing …. Man I am mid chemo) is what we think whilst smiling and saying ” yea not bad thanks” whilst also thinking there will be blood spillage if they ask that again.

  
A smile – a really nice genuine smile really boosts me I can’t speak for anyone else. But I have a Nieghbour and when she smiles at me I know she means it, and warms my heart.

  
A few encouraging words – like your doing great keep it up. Comments about your garden or something else can be a real God send as you don’t think about cancer for that period. It’s all you think about is CANCER. It’s a massive stone around your neck. 

A phone call – talk about something you both love, that’s easy with my brother as we both love anything with an engine. Try and get the person who has cancer to engage with you about what you both love note – they may be exstemly fatigued sometimes best to text before calling. But trust me it’s nice to get a call from someone. If they call you, then you are trusted to make their day that little bit better.  

i believed people when they said “you look better without hair” that’s not the right thing to say to a girl. In a female case I may ask if they want to make any changes. It’s about providing a need for a sufferer not your need to see them that is important here. People say to me “I need to see you” what is that all about. I mean where are the thoughts for the person suffering there. 

Look I know it’s tough for everyone.

Never ever forget the carer. I remember the people that asked about my Andie and still do, generally if you ask how the carer is it goes a long way and they may even forgive you for saying they look great. People like this are genuine friends with a huge heart for you. I am so fortunate, I have a number of good friends like that.

  
The best compliment you can give someone is to say “I WILL be there for you, and will call you soon” please note. You know where we are if you need anything!! Is not any help what so ever. In fact it’s just someone to remember. But contact via text, sending happy vibes is so needed and nice. You know your cared for. That’s the bottom line really, the best compliment is knowing your cared for by what ever action you think is fit. It does include the word action though. Friends know they are friends by what they do, not what they say.

  
Lastly laughter, make sure you laugh.

Mark
http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.

88lbs of cheese.

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When I was leaving school we had to do something known as a YTS, (youth training scheme) I opted to do retail. My first placement was at a fruit and veg stall in our local kwick save in leyland. I was given the opportunity to work on the meat counter after a while. It’s was good, as my mum and dad had always rattled on at me to get a skill. Which of course butchery was. 
This particular day I went into work to earn my £5.50 £27.50 weekly. And was asked to go in the fridge where I would find 88lbs of cheese, I was given a small flimsy hand grater and away I went, by mid morning I had 2 blue plasters on my knuckles where the skin had ended up in the cheese. But I kept going swopping hands. I then obviously cut the knuckles on my other hand to that also required blue plasters. The grated cheese came with some red speckles in it to.

  
On finishing I was told there was another 88lbs in the fridge that I could make a start on after my lunch. 

  
No way I thought, not a chance I am doing that. Not a chance. So off I went for lunch making a bee line for my local butchers called Chris coombers. They offered me a job and said I would start the next day. I took grate pleasure in going back to kwick save and taking my white coat off and putting it next to the cheese that needed grating.

  
What are you doing said the boss. “Leaving the grating for you, I am off I have a new job. Enjoy your life” off I went for an afternoon riding my bike. It was amazing to feel I was employed. The feeling of freedom was immense.

  
 Well So what’s the point in this blog. Well it’s to encourage you that You have your own destiny in your hands. You can do what ever you like, but you have to make it happen. Don’t carry on being unhappy, your life is yours be happy in it. 

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.

Recommended blogs

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achieve, animal, attitude, bone, cancer, desire, destiny, encouragement, energy, facebook, friends, given, help, hope, hospital, life, lire, love, loved, muscle, partner, raise awareness, relentless, silverback, stories, struggle, survived, together, transplant, travel, tvr, twitter

These are blogs that I feel MAY encourage you. Your feedback fellow bloggers would be appreciated. Why? Because I have included blog links. Do you think I should recommend more or less blogs, I am considering doing a top 3 weekly recommendation. Every single week, I will post blogs to encourage the person that is blogging. (I will only do this if I actually think they deserve to be shared.)

You may want to tell me of a blog you think deserves a mention. But please let me know what you think.

Recommended blogs
http://www.shanneva.com/5-summer-savers/

https://saradoolittle.wordpress.com/2015/07/23/sparkles/

http://deannahp.blogspot.co.uk/

Mark

Heart and soul

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The passion is in us, wether it’s for wood, plants, or fast cars we all are passionate about something. For me it’s fast cars, it’s my love and passion. It’s something I imagined me doing at a young age, sadly it would never happen proberbly due to the commitments our family had to the church and of course we were not wealthy either which did not help.

It’s over 20 years since Senna died, arguably the best driver to ever sit behind the wheel of an F1 car. It’s F1 race day at Hungary today, a really fun track. Clouded by the fact that Jules Bianchi died this week, a life wasted some might say. I am sure for Jules it was the 1 thing he wanted to do and passed doing it. What are your thoughts?  

  
For me it’s to be the best you can be in what ever you do. What’s the point in shuffulling from place to place never giving what you love 100% indeed is there a point in being in a career that you don’t give your all to. Life is ours, it’s ours to enjoy or endure. It’s our choice isn’t it.

  
One day you won’t have these choices to make they will be made for you, by your health or in old age. Life is about doing what you can now, not tomorrow. You have heard me speak of tomorrow the day that never arrives. Let’s not put off till tomorrow what we can do today. Today is what matters, your choices are what matters today. Be who you are, not what someone else wants to be. My wife wanted a career, so I support that whole heartedly. It’s my job to support and encourage my wife. Not make her be what I want her to be, she is her own person and should be allowed to be just that.

  
Some have to fight for their life, like I have. One thing is for sure, I will use what life I have left to encourage as many people as possible. I will continue to endeavour to make a differance, to challenge whilst being the best that I can be. Saying I WILL  and dismissing the negative words where ever possible from my life.

Have a great day

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.

How far you have come.

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when ever I am on the right track I always come across people that make your life harder. If I am not on the right road it’s always easier. Am I on my own here. Or is this not the same for all of us? For me doing this everyday as well as reminding myself of different things, and bringing myself to a positive place daily. I hope beyond all hope that others are in turn being encouraged. Someone said to me in a group I joined that my blogs were self promotion. It really annoyed me, even made me feel like not bothering to do this anymore.. But (not wanting to labour) then I saw this.

  
Many of you if not ALL of you reading this will have faced moments when you feel like throwing the towel in. That’s when real people show their real substance, how we respond is everything.  I was definetley deflated last night, I could not even sleep it affected me that much. Anyway that’s behind me now, I am only human.

  
It’s ironic as its made me remember what we have suffered, we as sufferers tend to forget what we felt at certain times. It’s far to distressing to recall. But I realised something, that if I did not write it down it will be lost forever, you never know maybe even folk will understand the road of treatment better.

I believe the word forgiveness is one of the most powerful things we can do. When we forgive someone, it’s not our problem anymore, it also kind of evaporates what we felt. I have talked about forgiveness before in another blog. You may want to read that one to after you have read this one. 

  
One thing I know, is that as people we are unique and hold different opinions. The opinions held by others are thiers, not ours to judge. Learning to not take on others problems as your own is a vital skill in this journey we all call life. You are without doubt unique, you have something to give in all situations. It’s important that we are reminded of how valuable we are, even if it’s us ourselves doing the reminding.

Can I just take the opertunity by saying thank you to all the people that share and comment on these blogs. It means so much to see them spread. 

  
Just remember your the best you can be right now, you also have the opertunity to learn from your past and be a better best by putting it into practice. Remember what you were so you can see how far you have come, victory is so much closer than it was. There is an opertunity in every situation if we look for it.

Have a great weekend

Mark  

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.

Come prepared to fight.

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I hope you have a great day today. Today I want to talk to you about my attitude, what drives me and how I am made. 

  
Yes of course I have a side of me that’s considered, genuine, loving and maybe even gentle. But there is a side to me that will not give up, it does not matter what people say to me. I will shun it if it’s negative, even cut that person out of my life completely. I will not allow negativity in my house although I do slip up now and again as I am sure many do.  In the main, we will stop with a coffee and discuss our direction and then get back on track again. 

  
The day I was told I had cancer invoked a reaction, that reaction is what saved my life. We all have a choice in how we respond, the moment we respond is when we show who we really are, what our substance is, what we are made of.  You see I could have adopted the shoulder shrug, then just given in to it. I hear some people do. It’s tough, not something you can take on with a can’t do it attitude. It takes tanacity, it takes depth of who you are, and it takes friendships. 

  
People that spur you on, people you see at the winning line. Only they are there with you holding the spit bucket, mopping your brow, people that help you maintain focus. People that are there because they want to be, not because they have to be. People like my wife. My dad has sent me a message every single day without fail, loving me through some really tough times. Friends that have helped push me up when I had no more in me. We can all be that person for someone, it’s us that chooses to or not to. 

I have been inspired today by a video which I will link at the end of this blog, inspired because we can always do something for someone. It’s our choice to make, I know I keep on about helping others. I make no opology, sorry. 

Surely love is better than hate.

It’s your choice.

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.

What’s impossible?

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How are you? Having a good week? Or are you getting in the way?  I am not sure if people realise that it’s your own mind that restricts us from being a success. The trouble with that word is it means so many different things to so many different people. I mean for me success is about getting into remission. For you it maybe paying off your mortgage, or that new car you have your eye on.  Is that really success though well I don’t think so, because my perimeters have changed.

  
What makes us who we are is what we expect out of life, our expectations are who we are. I used to think that things mattered, that having something matters. Well I have come to the conclusion that  things do NOT show who we are, but how we respond to others depicts what and who we are. We as humans when we see someone we judge them in a few seconds, we assess what sort of person they are. What we drive, how we look, how we dress, how shallow are humans really.  We are so ready to talk about ourselves, I know we have talked about the fact we have 2 ears and 1 mouth therefore we should listen more. 

  
Anyone remember?  That we listen to respond as opposed to listening to what is actually being said in a previous blog. How many of you have put it into practice? Only you know why or what you get out of reading these blogs, but I need you to know something.

It’s really important and I hope you remember this next sentence. ” only what you perceive to be possible can be done, what ever YOU perceive to be impossible will not be done by you” 

  
Everything you believe in your mind IS true. To you anyway, although others may not see it the way you do. That’s what makes them them. We have to accept the parameters people set for themselves, not trying to change what they believe but showing them what you believe. Recovery won’t allow me to be who I am. But what your reading now, is my effort at expression. My way of trying to get you to believe that anything is possible if you believe it. 

  
The only thing between you and success is YOU.

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.

11 years ago

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My how time flies, isn’t it amazing how quickly life passes us by. Well let me paint you a happy picture, so it was a Saturday more than 11 years ago. I had gone to a party in Warrington but by 5 pm they were starting to get a bit silly. No explanation required. Anyway, I decided to phone a friend of mine who met me at Piccadilly in Manchester. The best nights out are never planned, we embarked on a regular night out that would change my life forever in the best way you can imagine. 

  
I remember walking from Piccadilly to the locks, jumping on a few cows in the mean time. Plastic ones. The locks was dead so we moved on stopping off at a place that we had never been to. As I walked into the pub there was this gorgeous blonde sat with her boyfriend and a few of what I assumed were his friends. Even though I had my back to her I was talking to stu about her. I walked past flicking her hair so it stuck to her lip gloss, and whispered “I will be back when you boyfriend gets up” 

He got up n went to the bar, as he did I sat on his seat asking “was that your boyfriend”? “No” she said “do you have a boyfriend” I asked… Again “no” was her answer. “Well give me your number then because I am taking you out next week” was my response. I then rang my phone from her phone to make sure I did not get the flert divert number. 

  
Unfortunately she could not meet me on the Tuesday as she was picking her up from the airport. The only problem was that she called me on the Tuesday and I made up an excuse as to where I was, ( print works ) that I was meeting friends to watch shriek 2 …. Yea right I had not even seen shriek 1. I was on a date on the Tuesday as I was on the Monday.

Anyway, this all led to the Wednesday the next day when we would go on our date. I decided to go out on my bike, a little 900cc ninja that could manage speeds in the high 180,s mph. 

So we met at Stretford Arndale car park, I was leaning on my bike with my ray bans on tight white t shirt and my leather jacket hanging from the handlebars. Then it happened, she turned the corner. ( this scene needs a cloudy look around the edge and slow mo for effect) as she walked towards me, my whole body went weak. I was very pleased I was leaning on my bike. As she walked all the right bits were moving rather attractively in my mind, her steps sped up slightly when she saw me. My word I thought, I wonder if she is thinking the same as me… I was pretty sure my life was going to be changed forever but I had to play it cool. I had to I could not mess this one up.

  
We arrived at the pub in knuts ford where she bought the first drink. We got on quite well, well very well in fact. 

After dropping her back at home, I rode home to North Manchester. (Heat on park) where I sat for an hour, no TV on, no nothing I just sat. I sat thinking that I must now delete all the numbers of potential girlfriends from my phone. Knowing I had met someone special.

  
That girl is now my wife, 11 years on. She is without doubt my best friend a great person to be around and brightens my day every day. We tell each other how much we care everyday, and I will be with her till my dying breath. We have faced losing Andie in the first 2 weeks of marriage and we have fought my cancer for years. But hear we are. Still as crazy about each other as we were 11 years ago.

Happy anniversary my love.

  
Mark

46 and lost In blogs and cancer.

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Why I blog, well for me it’s a way of communicating without leaving my house. I finally decided to do it when we were on holiday in Northumberland. When I realised that cancer was going to beat me if I didn’t have a bonemarrow transplant. 

  
I wanted a way of getting it written down and people would know what thoughts I had had, if indeed I was to die because of the transplant. It was a very real danger to me. But then as time progressed I was getting quite addicted to how many people were reading, and indeed who were not reading my blogs. I regard my blogs as honest and helpful. But to be honest (oh the irony) I feel like I am trying to swim in a place people call Blogging with out any buoyancy aids what so ever.  I don’t understand what I am supposed to do, if  there are any rules. I don’t know, all I do know is how sad I feel. That my legs won’t let me run, how walking is so painful. Yet blogging gives me a way of exspession. Oh how I need to express myself, but feel like I am just a small dot trying to get noticed in a massive sea. 

  
It seems like an impossible task to find the right audience, in fact is there a right audience? I don’t know, but what I do know is that it helps me to release myself of the thoughts I have. It’s a place where I can be me, where do I start in my quest to be a helping hand for those that are experiencing cancer.. People who are fighting to be an arm or an ear to rest on or be heard. Where are the people that need to hear what my experience was like. Where are the people that we can help.

I don’t want to waste my life chasing money, I want to enhance my life by helping others face and beat cancer. we have a site on FB called cancer stories (friends) this has helped many face different issues, even talk about things they never would have. We have had people tell their story before leaving earth. Some of the things that have happened there have been amazing. I need to help, it’s a need not a requirement but yet I feel so lost.

  
I have my hand out, with my heart on my sleeve wanting to help. I don’t want to feel ill everyday I want to feel someone’s hand in mine, to help others move forwards. Using what is available to me now, I just hope someone reads this who can help me. I know God is bigger than this, and maybe I am just not doing the right things. 

When I walked out of the hospital after my transplant, there has been no help offered to me since then. Just a person that did his treatment then left. I guess it’s a snippet of what a soldier feels like when they have served the years they signed up for now left alone. For them to find their way on civi street, away from all the people and banter. It’s similar for me trying to keep my sanity whilst having that feeling of helplessness. With no life jacket just treading water in the big blue sea.  I know God is with me but where are the doors to open, how can a door open when I can’t find one.

One day I was happy, content to have found my wife. Building a life together. Then that ended and I got cancer, I hope to find out in August if the transplant has worked. Then it’s time for a party for all those that have been there for us. 

  
Mark

All my blogs can be found at http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Now I am 54

Very honest and considerate blog. Thank you

Adrian G. R. Scott : A Poet's Faith

In honour of others, especially Matt Haig (see his book ‘Reasons to Stay Alive’), who have been open and honest about their own mental health difficulties I post this blog in the hope that none of us need suffer in silence and feel as if they are the only ones going through ,what can be, such excruciating difficulties. When I read this it sounds a bit grand, inflation is one of my problems so, just to deflate myself I do recognise my troubles have been like a midge bite that itches for a few days compared with what many go through, but these thoughts may have some value.

Last month was my Birthday, I have reached the heady age of 54. This last year has, probably, been the most challenging of my life and my wife’s. From the end of August 2014 I was beset with an attack of Severe Anxiety Disorder…

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Honest with yourself.

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Ok, I am sorry. Truly sorry. Many years ago when all this stuff came along and potentially ruined my life, stopping me in my tracks, slowing me down and making me think about things more. Maybe my dad was right, maybe I was on self destruct for a time. You see all I ever wanted to do was race, everything was a race, even now I am not happy to be behind another car. I have a feeling in me that wants to be in front of anyone that’s ahead of me. 

  
My dad said he did not help me to persue racing, as I seemed to want to end my life, and had no respect for the consequences of any of my actions. Since being aware that there are other things that we can’t see that can kill you, I slowly gained a respect for my surroundings. A respect for people, for what they stood for, accepting what Others believed, accepting people for who they are not what you hope they would be.
I used to be a 100mph go getta type of person. Not someone that wanted someone else to be the bread winner. I expected that of myself. 

 
 I entered into many business ideas, losing many times. I ran to fast, drove to fast and generally missed everything I was looking for due to my inability to be able to stop and listen. To enjoy what was around me, to rest in the music of the planet. To look for truth in music, it took some unlikely people to turn that around. People that love music, no I mean really love music. Seem to have more depth, more understanding. Of course I had heard music before, but I had never listened to music. 

  
Listening to music you find a new you, a more real balanced you. A you that everyone deserves to see. We have one mouth and 2 ears there has to be a reason for that? No?  It hurts that I can’t get those years back. But what I can do is remember the words that my dad found in the B I B L E.  

  
Joel 2 vs 25   I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten

So how has that happened, I have had to fight. So how have I been repayed. I guess I have had the mud cleaned from my eyes so I can see again. So that I can see what’s important, hear what’s real.  Hear words in music that I otherwise could not, because I was always skipping onto the next song. Or rushing to get somewhere, everything passing me at 100 mph. My wife always says I would look at the view but it’s just a blur when I am with you. Regaining love of a family again, remembering how that feels.

Times like these.  
Please everybody forgive me for my hast, forgive me for rushing. Today is not about being miserable it’s Monday, it’s about accepting it’s Monday and doing yourself a favour and enjoying it as opposed to moaning about it. Love your life, don’t hate it. Change what you can, whilst accepting what you can’t.
  
I used to be able to run, now I can’t but I do get to see what’s in and on the planet now.  

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Your kind of world.

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What would the world be like if it was exactly how you wanted it. How would it look, well this is the kind of world I would like to see in my world.  The idea being that, nobody has nobody, that we all have somebody. We have freinds that are selfless but I do see some People just looking out for themselves not others . In fact I was one of those people before I realised how short life truly is. When you reach your 40’s fairly unscathed you have gotta be pleased with that. What do we need really. I mean to say we came into this world with nothing, and we will leave with nothing won’t we. 

  
Some want to leave a legacy, which I admire. Others just want to provide for their families, what we do In between arriving on this planet and leaving is our choice. 

   
But let me put it to you like this, what if every person you came into contact with, was helping you. Looking out for you, making sure you were and are safe. As apposed to keeping your hand on what’s important to you in a crowd. As opposed to being suspicious of everyone wanting something from you. Does it not start with us, start with us making the first move. Helping where we can as opposed to driving past, thinking someone else will do it.

  
This theory has existed for a long time, you only have to look at the story of the Good Samaritan in the bible. People have been kind for years, people have been selfish for years. I would love to hear your good stories. Stories you have heard, or things you have done. Your sharing with us, not bragging to us. It’s nice to be nice, I love kindness so much. I love seeing people smile,  the smile being reward enough.

  
This video says all I want to say, and hope that this blog inspires you to do something for someone. Please comment below about what you saw, or did. Let’s encourage the world to be better for each other. 

  
What will you do?

  
Mark

I hate cancer.

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Not allot happy in me today, today’s blog is dedicated to our friend Becca Parkes who passed yesterday. Becca was terminal. Becca was a selfless person, one of life’s givers, she was a kind bubbly person. When she was in hospital recently, she messaged me asking how I was. 

  
Becca had lung cancer and lived a full life leaving behind a wonderful daughter Ambur. I knew Becca, not that we have been out partying together. But through cancer, through our disease. The very illness that brought us together took her away. Cancer is so cruel, I can’t even think of a word that’s enough, that says enough. Yet does not give cancer respect. 

  
This lady was loving in life, she gave so much to all around her. She was selfless yet tough, kind whilst being thoughtful. She was a person who was real, she was not a person who hid behind a fassard. Becca was who she was, kind to all. Always looking on the bright side of life. Never allowing cancer to crush her, she was a real inspiration to me in that dark room. There will always be a part of me that remembers Beccas kindness.

Today the sun shines, but it’s oh so dark outside. Life is not fair, life’s cruel. But cancer is just a coward, a lying cheating horrible little piece of crap. It’s nothing yet does so much damage to those it touches.

Thank you Becca for encouraging us through the dark times. You will be sadly missed. X

  
 I wonder (as a sign of respect) who will join me in lighting a candle to remember Becca tonight. Whilst remembering her we remember  all those sadly taken by this scrawny cheating thing we call cancer. We will be whilst remembering her family in prayer.

RIP Becca Parkes

This is a song she wanted played at her funeral. 

Please forward this so as many people as possible so people know who Becca was. Xx

Who are you now

The real you, the you that matters. All my life, I have tried to make people happy by adjusting who I am to make them happier. Turns out by doing that, all I have done Is succeeded in making myself unhappy. I wanted so badly to find the real me. The me I was happy with, the me I was never going to change. That’s why I went to travel Australia and New Zealand. To find the real me, to find contentment, to find the real me.

You see I know and knew I was a good person and my intentions were good. I had just adjusted myself so many times, that I was confused as to where in me I was. Then one day I made the most important choice of my life, best described in a picture I have used quite frequently in my blogs.  

So that’s what I do I try to be the best I can be whilst not dimming my light, standing for what I believe in. Me and my Andie have allot of fun, because we are able to be ourselves. We do our best to have allot of fun and not to take life to seriously. We like to have laughter in our home, we like happy conversations. Of course I am human, which means I am not perfect. My nick name (one of them) is fonz. Hopefully because I take happy days with me. Hopefully silverback because I am assertive, or just plain crazy sometimes. But what ever happens I love fun,  to see smiles on others faces because I chose to be happy. I chose to be me, the real content me. The me I am happy with.

So what’s the point in this weeks blogs, for me it was to encourage you to be you. To hold your head up, knowing you are happy with who you are. Knowing your doing your best for others. Knowing you have Made their day better by being you. We don’t have to change, we are accepted for who we are by people. If people don’t accept who I am that’s not my problem. I have survived cancer for a reason, and survived it twice to encourage others that they also have a future. Cancer has even touched our beloved dad, but still he keeps going. Preaching the word of God and speaking life into people’s lives. Speaking positivity to everyone he meets, if you want to meet an exemplary man. That would be my dad, I guess I am a little like him. Well I hope so anyway.

We are different every day. Why because we have learnt more today than we ever did. So how can we not have learnt more. Consequently making us better people if we choose to be.

WHO ARE YOU NOW?

I hope you enjoyed reading this week. Have a great weekend what ever you do.

Fonz
http://www.fonzandcancer.com

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@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

 

 

Who are you now. Part 4

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So you do your best, Do you? Are you really happy that you have done your best, that you have done all you can to be the best of you? The whole point of the 5 parts of “who are you now” is so that you by the time you have reached part 5. That you yourself have found a better you, and what that takes to be that you thats better. 

  
Confidence

Confidence, is not as bigger deal as some make it out to be. You see once you don’t care what others think, then why is confidence needed? Please let me know if u think I am wrong. The way I see it, it’s about you putting your feet in front of each other. If you don’t care what people think then it does not matter what someone may think of you. I love people that make an effort to achieve, I love it when I see someone get up and dust themselves down and start again. That breeds confidence, something we all need to achieve. Something we rely on more than you think we do. Let’s make it simple again, a chair. You sit on them without thinking. Yet you have the confidence that it will hold your weight. I need allot of faith to, as I tend to be quite heavy handed when I do anything. 

  
I make no opology for keep bringing up my transplant. But when I walked into it, I broke like a crayon and had to have confidence in the people that were going to administer the drugs. That they knew what they were doing, because I know I didn’t have a scooby do what was going on. I had to be confident that I would survive, that I was not going to die. Although it was a tough thing to do, I knew it had to be by the second. when you believe in someone like my wife believes in me. It breeds confidence. I believed I would do it because my wife believed in me, my family believed in me, my friends believed in me. Cancer stories believed in me. These people all gave me the confidence that I needed to do what I needed to. 

  
There were many times I wanted to throw in the towel, many times I wanted to walk away. But then I had to remember a face of someone that believed in me. Someone that helped me have confidence that I would win the fight,  the people that did that for me know darn well who they are. You are more than you have become, you are a better person than you were. I am to. See my wife is with me ” no matter what”  you can’t buy that kind of love. It breeds all sorts of things, confidence being one of them. You are a better person because of the people that are committed to you. Your amazing because of who believes in you.

The bottom line is though, that you have to believe in you. Because.

  
Always give your best, or just don’t bother. You don’t deserve second best, nor does anyone else.

Mark

Encouraging other bloggers

  
i have decided to do a weekly recommendation for bloggers. Every week I will put out there other bloggers blogs that I think are well written. Blogs that inspire, not those that simply advertise a product. People like.
http://www.shanneva.com/micro-preemie-mondays-with-evangeline-and-noelle/
http://deannahp.blogspot.co.uk/2015/07/you-can-have-black-days.html?spref=fb
https://dailypost.wordpress.com/2015/07/03/last-call-for-julys-blogging-101/
The kindness of Strangers:

http://soulnspiritblog.com/2015/07/02/the-kindness-of-strangers-when-we-were-lost/
Heartache

https://kirstyredford.wordpress.com/2015/06/30/heartache/

Here is mine

https://fonzandcancer.wordpress.com/2015/07/14/who-are-you-now-part-3/

People that are selfless, and just want to reach out and help someone. If you see a blog like this please tell me and I will blog it to others. I will start to do this a week on Friday. 24th July.
Help me to encourage more people.
Mark

who are you now. Part 3

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In giving though, don’t we lose out. Isn’t what we have given now owed to us. This is how I used to think, in my school days sometimes. As I grew up I realised that actually it made me feel good, I never understood why some people used me though. Why did people use me like that, why did I do that to others. Why did I have that in my nature. It’s sad how growing up takes so long, but it does because experience takes time, it can’t be rushed. It just takes time. I remember a time when I had many friends,  that taught me though that some people have totally different agendas to me. They wanted different things to me in life, certainly not the things I was thinking of. 

  
I know what it’s like to lose a marriage, I know what it’s like to have your best mate cheat on you with your girlfriend. I know what it’s like to feel loss, I know what it feels like to have your heart broken, i know what it’s like to pray tirelessly by someone you loves bed? Believing she would walk again. I know what it’s like to be hurt both physically and mentally. Life can turn some really cruel blows towards you. 

  
When I was in hospital having my bone marrow transplant, I remember how hard every second was in that room. I say second because 1 second was all I could manage. So I put 60 of those together to make 1 impossible minute. Then string 60 of them together to make 1 impossible hour. Then 24 of those to make an impossible day. Everything was impossible in that room, made possible because of the strength GOD had given me to get through 60 seconds to make an impossible minute. 

“It’s not about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forwards. That’s how winning is done” 

  
Have you ever noticed the people that can look you in the eye. Those people who can look you in the eye. Do you know what they are called? People that keep moving forwards with relentlessness, with seeming unrest. People that keep putting one foot in front of the other. No matter what. These people are known as Winners, people that believe in something. People that have others that believe in them. It does not make them rich all the time financially, but it does make you content that you have done your best. If you do that, (your best) what more can a person ask, but make sure you never give up. Never turn your back on what life has given to you, life may never be that good to you again. 

  
I want my home filled with laughter, love, faith and hope. But one thing there will always be in our home is effort to make things better. We will never give up being better tomorrow than we were today.

Mark

Who are you now, part 2..

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IMorning, how are you today? How we ended yesterday talking about others feeling what’s inside us. I want to cast your mind back to an early memory, the earliest that you can recal, a moment where you felt what the person who was talking to you. Expressed what they were saying and you felt it. It’s a natural skill and we all had it when we were kids. But we were taught to live the way we were taught, which made us selfish, it made us greedy, and self opinionated. When you meet a small child (baby even) they suss you out in seconds. They are the best judge of character on the planet. They know who’s bad and who’s good, they can just pick up your intentions by the way you are with them. Because they have not been taught what’s bad, but they know what’s good. So they. Cry when they don’t understand and smile when they like us.

  
It’s the same with us, only we are not so innocent as we grow older, we are diluted by the world. We have to work out, what someone’s smile is. We become suspicious and thoughts run through our minds like. – what do they want, or what’s in his mind.. Etc why can’t we just smile back.. I love it when someone smiles bk at me, it gives me such a warmth when it’s meant. It makes my day and sets me up. 

  
It’s a pleasure I have but in a fleeting moment most days. It’s like the smile my wife gives me, that just says everything. It’s special in different ways. But non the less they are things that give me the greatest pleasure. I found that when my wife wants something, I might as well just get it for her. It will make her life easier, and mine quieter.

  
I have found in short that, giving is so much more rewarding than taking. The pleasure is in the giving, not the taking. When I give things away, rather than taking a small amount of money. It makes me feel nice, because I wanted to do that. Giving can be our time, and can mean so very much to the person you have given to.
Mark

Who you are now.

It’s not what you were. It’s who you are now that matters. How many times growing up did you think to yourself, that you should have done it differently. You ever thought, just turn around and say it. Then it’s to late, ever wondered how the path of your life would be changed because of a simple left or right turn. You ever thought. Yea but I could have gone the other way, but u didn’t. You always were going to choose what you did. You were always going to make that choice, you were always supposed to read this. Your life panned out the way you wanted it to. 
  
 

You know more than you ever did right now, you are a fuller person today than you ever were. You can do, or be who ever you want to be, they are all your choices with what you have been given, or left with. No one ever said Life would be fair, painless, or easy. 

  
Life is the hardest thing I have faced in my life. Yet the most satisfying this week I want to talk to you and encourage you. To be the very best of you, not the best of your worst. The best of who you are, not allowing second place to have a home. Because only the best of you is what someone deserves. It’s better to have something than a handful of nothing. I want to help you to see what is the best of you A you that you are happier with than you were, a you spurred on to be better.

  
You can never truly enjoy something unless you have had to work for the money to pay for it. It helps us value things we have worked for. I believe the thing we value most in life is not a thing, well I know because of some of the challenges we have faced. What ever is inside us is felt by others.

Be you.

Mark

Muddy glasses

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How are you today?

Muddy glasses, well I guess it’s a bit like you can’t see the wood for the trees. Life can get a bit full sometimes and we just go with what we are used to. What we have been doing for years. If it ain’t broke don’t fix it right? Wrong… Sometimes we need to do a little maintainance to make sure nothing does break so we don’t end up repairing it. (service)
  
These are my opinions based on my experience. Sometimes we just need to inspect our glasses to see if they are working at optimum level. Sometimes we just have to clean them anyway, take a stock take of your life or even how things are between you and the ones you love. Making sure you’re doing enough to keep your relationship on track or even just a health check of how you both see things.

  
Cancer causes us to take a different route, to go down a road we did not have in our thoughts. A road that was not factored into the route we were on. None of it is anyone’s fault, it’s just the route we have to take. We can’t change what we are given. What we can do though is make the best of the worst we have. When we do this, making the best of the worst we have, we find ourselves really enjoying the things we love to do. 
Always remember Cancer is not your fault. It’s not a punishment or a consequence. It’s called “Life” oh yeah I know how rough life can be. But it’s how we deal with it, how we live with it, that makes us the people we are. Yes cancer has changed your life, but one thing I realise is. It has not changed who I am, just the ability to be able to do allot of things. The parameters I have to operate in have changed that’s all, my brother said this to me the first time I had cancer. “We allow visits from cancer, but it’s not allowed to stay” such a positive statement in a negative situation. 

  
Remember to, that your friends and family struggle to know what to say to you to. It’s not their fault either, and the route was not factored into their game plan either. Some people become more compassionate, some distant. They all have reasons, but I bet you if you asked them what the reasons were. They would have no clue what so ever. Little info here. http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/cancer/Pages/life-after-cancer.aspx
Oh and if you need a chat there is a support group called cancer stories (friends) 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536/?fref=ts 

Don’t forget to clean your glasses.
Mark

Darkness and light

Being so dark makes things seem possible again. 
happy Saturday to you. I have a friend you know, he has quite a large place. I often wonder if he can still see the daylight in the distance and how much later than me he can see it for. Of course I can go down to the estuary and watch the sun disappear there if I want. I say it’s only when the sun has gone down can you see a sunrise.

  
I remember being in the desert, the nulabor in Australia. Oh my word, darkness truly was darkness out there. Absolute pitch black under cloud cover. It never happens in towns or villages as the light is always reflected off of the clouds. It makes for a real spectical. The stars look like they have been painted there by the master painter. You stare in awe. Star with an e… Yes you stare in wonder at the stars above, they just look so amazing. There is no way that we can have this much beauty by accident. That was just one of the many amazing things I noticed whilst travelling Australia in my long, boat of a tango car. It was my dream to live out there, but it never happened so I guess I wanted to be with my now wife more.

  
There are so many uncertain things in life, employment, mortgage rates. But you can always expect light and darkness. They are both dependable, and have their uses in the whole solar system in which we live. I know once that sun has gone down there will be another day and hope I will be in it. But the one certain thing is there will be day after night. 
Some people even say night after day, but why. Why does it matter which way round it’s said. Or maybe it depends on your attitude as to the way round you say it. We can all choose to be an optimist or a pessimist. Glass half full or glass half empty. My glass is most definitely half full. Although sad to say, far from perfect. 

  
I hope you have a fabulous weekend and that you get to enjoy some of it where ever you are. When the darkness comes, remember the gift we will all get when we wake up, a brand new day.
Mark

Sweeter

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Sweeter
Hi all, seems the audience is becoming stronger. So I had better be careful what I write… Really…? No don’t think so! But I am really happy people seem to get something out of reading these blogs everyday. We learn as life goes on, I am not sure if we all learn the same lessons. So I will share one I learnt about sweeter. I always say “you can never know the sweet, without the sour.” It’s the difference in the tastes that makes sweet taste better. If we had never known just how sour, sour is. Then how can we possibly know how sweet really is.

  
A sour in my life was without doubt isolation at Liverpool royal hospital. A very dark place, a place where I feel sick to even to remember how horrible it was. It is good for me to remember how it was, how sour that experience was. It’s now my measure against how good things that are better than that room are. 

  
 What has happened to me, is I actually tolerate things that really used to wind me up before. Things I greatly disliked are not really an issue anymore. If I had not had the experience, I would not know how bad life could get, how harsh life can be to a family. That’s just it though isn’t it, your family and friends ideas change to. It affects everyone connected with your journey because it’s their journey to. 

  
We don’t know who’s life we touch, but I do know it’s important to be honest and allow what you learn to be learnt by someone else to. You will never learn my lesson, but you may learn your own because of my experience . 

  
I am sat in my garden right now, I can feel the sun on my face, my dog by my side of course waiting for me to throw the ball. I have David Guetta playing. Things I imagined doing again in the darkness of L1 and am doing. The sweet things in life which is what sitting in the garden is, is oh sooo much sweeter now. Why because I am using negative things and making them positive. They are your choices to make to.
Mark

Fonzandcancer (grateful)

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Hi guys, have you ever stopped to wonder. No I mean really wonder, how amazing life is. I mean, seriously, It’s amazing. I remember going into have a check done to see how my heart was working. I was asked to ley on my left side and they put some slippery stuff on me (Gel), so I could have an ultra sound on my heart. Wow, how awesome to look at the screen and see your heart pumping like it does. It blew me away just seeing that one organ doing its work to move my blood around my veins. Meanwhile the lungs are supplying the blood with oxygen, whilst many others process food for energy and help us grow. Ok so some points in our life we grow in areas we don’t want to, but our bodies are still amazing things. 

  Myself, when I think of the opportunity I have had for a fresh start. To rid myself of cancer and move forwards without it. I am filled with gratitude that I was able to have the treatment I have had. Now I am not saying that the journey was easy. Far from it, but surly if we put our feet in front of the other one we make some progress. That’s what we have done for the last 4 and a bit years. Taken each day as it comes and looked forwards to each morning. Looking forwards to hearing the birds, the wind on my face, the fish in my stream. Every day is a gift, everyday is a new start where we can receive forgiveness and start again.
  We are loved, whole heartedly, we are compassionately cherished even on the days we don’t feel like we are. God loves us. It’s unconditional, it’s real and God is faithful. 
I am so passionate about reaching out to others, to help them believe that they have the strength within them to beat cancer. To still stand, to continue to move forwards, to maintain focus. For me, whilst never ever asking why me, it’s a case of appreciating that not only do we have a life, but that we have lived the years we have lived. 

When was the last time you got your photos out and remembered the things you did when you were younger. When did you last open a bottle of wine and laugh together at your past instead of remembering the bad things. My mum and dad are really good at reminding us of the good times, my mum was great at making times that we would remember right up until I was 46 (I am 46 now) I hope and pray that me and my wife can be a blessing to others in the future. So many cliches are running through my head right now, but.

 To be happy in a life, is better than to regret a life.

  Every day I want to be a better person, and every day I am shown something new. Why? Because I am willing to accept something new, to accept new ideas. Not believing that mine are the best and only ones. Those that are willing WILL achieve, but from what I have learnt in my life, nothing and no one comes along and gifts you anything. Except love, love is everywhere, in everything, and in everyone. We were created with love, so why would that not be true. It’s down to us what we give to others, 

It’s our life to live, and our love to give.
Mark
http://www.fonzandcancer.com 

Fonzandcancer (Emotions)

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It’s a little bit weird sat here today, I am feeling worn out. Both mentally and physically, I don’t feel I have a direction at the moment. It’s the frustration of wanting to be better, but not having the strength to do what you want to do. Everybody’s situation is different in recovery but it is sad to say that I had it in my bones which is proberbly why I get so much pain in my limbs. Although as I write my eyes are like taps running that won’t stop, I want to try and explain what’s happening. You see God gave us emotions, why would they exsist if we are not meant to use them. We all need to be able to release what ever feeling it is within us. If it’s happiness we smile or laugh, sadness we cry or get angry. I must not and cannot get angry, I have to allow myself to cry or the build up turns to rage which is not only distructive to the person that’s angry, but can be to others around us to.

  Every piece of this track needs to be working correctly to get the train that runs on it to where it’s going. Every link, bolt, sleeper, and piece of metal needs to function. If a piece fails, cracks, or is not perfect it needs to be fixed or it can cause a catastrophe. It will affect thousands of people’s lives, it will affect them all for many years maybe never ever getting over the accident that happened. 
But what happens if there is no tangable reason for us to be in our situation. What happens if you can’t put it down to a bad weld, or a slack bolt. What happens if it’s just a horrendous thing we have to deal with through no fault of our own. A devastating blow that hit us, that takes years to deal with then years to recover from. It’s a tough old place to be, and you know what. Sometimes you just don’t want to fight anymore, sometimes you just want to let it all out through our emotions so we CAN be strong again. So we WILL get up again to make that difference. That’s why we sleep to regain strength, but sometimes sleep is not enough. Sometimes gritting our teeth through a situation is not possible, because you have to just Let. Allow your body to do its thing.

  
Guess what, I cannot change the fact I have to fight, I can’t change the fact that I have had cancer twice and have had to have 30 days of my life with chemo being pumped into my veins. I cannot change any of that, I don’t want to be upset but I have to let my body do its thing. I have to allow the grief (because that’s what it is) to leave me. I am guessing what I feel is similar (no feeling is exactly the same) to losing someone close. The fact that life will never be the same again. That who you were is not who you will be. Isn’t that the same for everyday of our lives though. That we will never be who we were yesterday because. (My words) “today is yesterday’s blessing that somebody missed”.

  Remember there is always someone worse off than you are, but that does not make the mountain you are climbing any less steep.  It does not mean your battle is small in comparasum. You are important, your emotions are important. As a man there is a stigma that men don’t cry. What a load of crap. 
  
Mark
http://www.fonzandcancer.com

When will this end!!

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The doctors say I will get stronger, when? I am so sick of feeling weak, being weak. Digging in to gain more strength. When will it end, there are things I want to do, people I want to bless and I can’t all because of bloody cancer. I hate the word, I hate being weak. I hate feeling inadequate. I am, there is no getting away from it. I am not me. The true reality of recovery, is not just getting over cancer. It’s becoming strong again, becoming mentally strong again. My mental health, my physical strength, my hope needs to return. All aspects of life need to start afresh.

  
This is a real hard time in life, no one will understand where I am at unless u have been a sufferer. I want so much to be out there, but I have to rest. Bloody rest they keep telling me, I am in pieces today. Absolute bits, why because I guess that’s what fights do. They break you down, they crush you until u have nothing more to give. Jesus says, when you are weak then I am am strong. Sometime you don’t even want to live, it’s such a long battle. Such hard work every second of every day. 

  
I know one day I will beat this, but I long for a day I can laugh and enjoy just 1 day. To laugh without a care, to just be me without that horrible word in my life. I am angry even furious right now, why does it always have to be about cancer. When will it stop. Please wake me in a year!

Maybe you will never again see the Mark in the picture above, but the one you do see will listen more, be more considerate. Maybe even have some of the old strength back. But right now I am like a tipped over Jenga stack. I HATE CANCER! 

  

 
See that wave, I just wish it would wash all this away.

Mark

The Johnny Herbert ethos.

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Wow, have you read the Johnny passion. What drove a man who had seemingly lost all hope for but a few seconds. Brands hatch F3000 1988 looks like he has lost his legs, Johnny looked through the whole at the front of the car. Fleeting thoughts that he may have lost his legs. Then seeing his feet still attached to his legs, then believing that racing was still a possibility.  That’s called courage, and belief.

  
I am sure many of us can relate Johnny Herbert’s fight to our own lives, but what did you do. Did you give up or dig in? Unfortunately it takes me back to a very hard time in my life, where a battle commenced. Although I was not the one who had to over come the physical injuries but to support, the person who’s situation seemed so hopeless.

  
To encourage, to believe that although the person in questions leg was hanging off we had to trust that she would walk again.  The omagh bomb a time that I have spoken about in my book, but as it’s not even published yet I won’t expand to much. But I will say it was a similar situation, caused by evil men that ruined many many people’s lives. We all have situations where we get tested to the maximum. This is the video of johnnys accident, just to try and bring your day a little balance. 

It’s the ethos though, the comparison to our own life I am sure you know. It’s not nessasaraly a body part but maybe a moment in your life that changes you. Makes you believe in you more than you did, have to dig in and move forwards no matter what is thrown at you. This is what I try to explain every day the winning spirit,  winning is not always a trophy or something tangable.  It is with in you, the will to carry on. To be a winner and not an excuse person. It takes grit, commitment. It takes relentlessness, tanacity and a spirit that only winners have.

  
Johnny got into a Benneton F1 car years later and scored points in his first race. This was Johnny in 1995 winning the British Grand Prix. An amazing feat after all that Johnny had faced 7 years previous. I respect anyone that can stand in the face of adversity. Then move forwards, it’s all about moving forwards and holding your head up knowing that you have done your best to be your best. My spelling was horrendous when I first started blogging, I am better now I am sure.

Most of you know I have been fighting cancer for 7 yrs, not something man has done to me. By his Evil, nor a terrible accident. What I have is a fight anyone of us could have, or have had.

  
How would you deal with it? It’s about faith for me, believing that the strength God has given me is more than enough to sustain me. It’s not possible that there is not someone more powerful than us out there looking after us. Is there? I just can’t see how such beautiful people can just evolve. We are amazing and I believe the only restriction is us. You are your worst enemy, or your greatest adversary; it’s your choice.

But I choose to have faith and undertake the Johnny Herbert attitude and believe i will race again. 

What’s your choice?

Mark

Getting up.

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There is one thing I love to do in life, but it’s not pleasant. Falling down I love it, it hurts and sometimes hurts for a little while. But have you ever thought about where you end up after you have fallen over. Ok here’s my thoughts for today. 

  Nobody likes to look silly, or fall over in front of people. I remember once picking up my watch and waiting for a friend who saw coming towards me. So I ran to meet him at the lights in the middle of the day with shoppers everywhere. What did I do I tripped at full pelt, (I had put my watch on by this point) putting my hands forwards. Down the path sliding on the metal bracelet of my watch, that my wife bought me for our engagement. I was so embarrassed, I just got straight back up and got in the van. I was cut and I had to go back to the watch shop.
  There is a lesson to be learnt every time we fall over,  every time we make a mistake there is something positive to take from it. I spend my life trying to get something positive from every situation. My cups half full you might say, or I focus on the things that matter in life as opposed to the worldly patheticness that we get entwined in sometimes. Things like, the reason I got married, not why did you forget the milk. Life’s so precious, and I tell you the older you get the more precious it gets. Life can change in an instant, but goodness can be found everywhere if we look. But the trick is we have to be willing to look.

  You see when you fall over where do you end up, when you stand back up?

Further ahead, you have actually “moved on” now I don’t know if that’s where the term comes from but it sure would make sense. The fact remains though that when we get back up we are further on than we were, or in a different place than we were. That depends how it fits into your life.

Now all you have to do is decide what you will do the next time you fall.

Mark
You can get my blog every morning at 6am at http://www.fonzandcancer.com  

The diaries.

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You never thought about how much things have changed in the last 30 years. I mean 30 years ago a diary were private, under lock and key even. My sister would never let us read her diary. My how things have changed, from not being able to read a diary, to people unhappy if what they write is not read. It’s all about the stats these days, so what happened to us. Why such a drastic change, has the www. Generation changed our personalities and created different people. Well as always here is my take on it. 

  
 Generally people don’t like family reading our personal thoughts (this was the case for me) but why. Surly family are the people we should trust more than anyone else, surly being vulnerable to your family is a good thing. Maybe it is, and if I had children it would be a very open house. 

People seem to want their most private thoughts to be made available to the world using media, like face pig, twit accounts, it’s amazing how much we have changed. But is it us that has changed or the method. See I think it’s easier to be open with someone that does not know you. It’s easier to be honest, because you won’t be judged. Or maybe if you are it does not matter because you can just unfollow them or unfriend them. We can’t unfriend family. Because family is family, I am talking brothers sisters, and mums n dads. These are the people you can rely on, people that know us inside out. They know us more than the partner they have. That is until they have their own children. 

  

 Social – media. It’s exactly what it says on the tin isn’t it. Social… Media. It’s a place where we can be who we want, create an avatar and be someone different. I however use it for honesty, to tell people how it is for me and introduce new ideas into people’s lives. To learn myself, be guided by others moments. Maybe a new way of thinking about someone, a new way of thinking Yourself maybe. All the same it’s about sharing what we learn in life.. 

Mines been quite colourful, from being expelled from school, rehabilitation in my 20’s to experiencing what it’s like to know and love someone involved in a bomb blast. My exsperiences are real, not manufactured in anyway. Not fiction, just real reality. Sad, happy, lovely, and loving moments all shared with you. 

  
I want you to know how it feels. I want you to know what I felt. I want you to know what it takes to be a winner, I want you to know that success is just around the corner. I want you to know love exsists, I want you to know in your heart God loves you, he does not want to change you. He wants you to learn so you improve who you are. All my life I did not know what Gods grace was, God was a God of judgment and discipline. I have taught my dog with praise not by telling her off. I have encouraged her to be a better dog. Isn’t that why we share, isn’t that what we want for others. To be encouraged to be better people, that others would hear of our mistakes so they don’t have to make them. Are we not a caring nation?   

So there you have it, social media for me is about sharing experiences. We could not do that with our locked diaries, even though we can stop some from reading what we put. There is some control, but it’s a great thing used in the right way. I WILL NOT waste my time judging, or getting involved in negative chat, I want to hear others opinions, I want to know what makes others tick, so maybe I can learn to be a better person. 

Giving others love and encouragement is priceless. What do you think? 

Mark

You can log onto http://www.fonzandcancer.com to see my latest post after 6am every morning. 

The pink chairs.

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Life with Cancer. When you walk into the day unit, of Haematology, you see pink chairs. People who are dying, people fighting. People who just are getting on with it. It hits you as you talk to those both young and middle aged. Mums, dad’s, grans, and granddads, sons, daughters. Even small children. Great grans and granddads. That (and this is inspired by a special friend) that cancer does not care. When you were born, how you look. What your status in society is. How many cars you have, or even what they are. Who loves you who loved you? Who your parents are? Where you live, house flat semi, terrace or detached.

  
 Cancer has no reason to judge. No care what you do for a living. Cancer does not care who sits on those pink seats. It could be anyone of us. Not a lottery in any way, because cancer does not give out numbers. If it did it would never reveal who won, or who lost. It’s up to us to fight or give up to it. It does not care about your football team, your colour or creed. Asian British, Black or white. We are what cancer wants. We are to fight what we cannot see. It attacks any part. It does not care if you are pretty or hansom, intelligent or dyslecsic. Stomach, liver, pancreas, spine, bones, eyes, throat, skin or even our heart. But what we do have is the hope that if and when we die we go to a better place but till then we has to help, listen. Give, encourage and live each day as though it was our last. This is our life. Choose to live it. Love those we feel cannot be loved as well as those we find easy to love.

  
 Today I was frustrated I could not have my chemo early so when walking back into the building I saw a man who was not able to talk. He moved his wheel chair slowly and was not getting far quickly or slowly. I asked him where he was going and to my amazement I was able to understand his muffles. I just grabbed that chair knowing he would get where he was going quicker. As we walked well I pushed and he carried on mumbling I realised. I am fortunate. I can walk and talk I am loved by many people and life is what it is. I will beat cancer in this or the next life but for now living with cancer continues to be hard. So what!

 Love each other and make someone you have never met smile today. It’s a desire of human nature. Tomorrow never actually arrives, because tomorrow is todays blessing that someone missed. Love your wife. Love your husband. Your long life partner. Give your life with no regrets today! If you know someone with cancer, or who you think needs a new perspective. Encourage them with this piece of human reality.

Mark

The chosen ones.

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Good morning, I am expecting some confused faces when you realise what the chosen ones are. You see we are all chosen to be something, we are all chosen to do something. The hard part is finding what it is we are chosen for. Rest assured you are chosen, you are special. Let me give you a song to listen to whilst reading the rest of this or after you have read it. Because there are some interesting people out there that don’t know what they want to do at 40.

You see when I realised I had to have a bone marrow transplant, it would have been oh so easy to have walked away and not had it. To have wondered off and died, to accept my months I had left. I didn’t. Why? Well because although a BMT is a potentially life saving procedure, not everybody gets accepted to have one. You have to pass a number of requirements. (Don’t ask) like strength, heart and chest clear that sort of thing. You have to be CHOSEN. I was as was every other person that has ever had a BMT or stem cell transplant. 

  I cannot tell you how grateful I am to be chosen, to be offered the chance at an extended life. How amazing, how truly truly awesome. From not being able to see Christmas 2011 to you reading this blog today. Don’t you think that what YOU have is awesome, you have a beating heart a life and even if you feel you have been dealt a bad deal in life. You have a life. The more we say what we are, the more we become exactly that we speak of ourselves. Your amazing, you CAN, forget can’t. It’s not even a word to me. One day we shall not be here to dispense the advice of sunscreen. But you have a day to use right now, spend time loving not moaning. It’s a life you have, it’s not about what you don’t have it’s what you do that matters. What you say that matters. How you are with others that matters. 
  During this process I have met some awesome people, from all over the world. Some from our group of friends. Cancer stories (friends). Some people that will be friends with us forever. People from California, Australia, and people in my own village. God has given you a life, who will you bless with it. No one else can decide, because you are chosen. You are the chosen one to do what you can do. 

 
When you have a BMT you are chosen. I am the chosen one to have a transplant, as is everyone else that has or is going to have one. You hold your destiny in your hands all you have to do is get up and choose your direction. 

Winners get up and carry on, losers walk away and miss the chance they have been given. A friend once said to me. 

” there are plenty of people in pubs with a could have been story” 

It’s up to us to keep going and not give up.

Whilst writing my blogs I have from time to time got quite despondent at the amount of people that are reading what I write. I have had to carry on. Telling myself it WILL be worth it. If you get up and try you can win, but how will you know if you don’t try?

 
 
It’s your choice to make.

Mark

I make no apology. Sorry.

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today is exactly 2 months since I entered the room to have my bone marrow transplant. WOW. I can still remember the feelings of helplessness. I had never felt like that in my life, I had always had some control on the direction of my life. I was on my own, isolated in a 15 ft x 12ft room fo a minimum of 3 weeks. I have talked about how I used my mind in earlier blogs, but there were other ways I used to get through. For instance, I did press ups, but found doing them on the floor impossible. Where there is a will. I did them on a chair instead.

  Qqa
I remember having a wad of money in my shaving bag, so that in my mind. If I wanted to leave at any point I could jump in a taxi and go the 40 odd miles home. I would die but I had the option. That gave me a degree of control that I was in charge of my own destiny. Now why am I writing this? To impress you? No to encourage you. You see it’s like this.

  
I did not think I could do it, I didn’t think I could survive in that room in 1 piece. I believed I would fall apart, that I would start to think irrationally, lose me. You know who I was, what I had become, that I actually quite liked. Now if your sat there thinking, 3 weeks in a room isolated… “Yea I can do that” do it then see. It is actually impossible, but yet there are so many that have survived stem cell transplant. So many that have done it, so it’s not impossible then. 

  
Yes it is, but 1 second isn’t, 1 minute isn’t. So I guessed I just had to string a few of those together to make an hour. Then that’s 1 impossible hour done. That’s how I did it, I looked forwards to my Starbucks with a shot of Kenya in it every morning. My wife brought it in every day. Man it became the highlight of my day. You had to drink so much in there even though you were attached to a drip stand. I walked every day, even with my drip stand I was walking up and down the room. It didn’t go well as I kept getting the cables wrapped around me as I walked. You had to have this wreched sick pump attached to you all day and night. You would try to plug a charger in whilst knelt in the hicc an line. Yup it did hurt, didn’t stop me nearly pulling it out of my chest again though.

I guess the point is to encourage you, your able to do far more than you think you can. But sometimes you just gotta let go and allow yourself to do something. Even if you think it’s not possible it’s amazing how many small bits add up to what we saw as impossible.

Mark
http://www.fonzandcancer.com

What it took to beat Cancer.

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Hi guys, how are you today? it’s a running joke amongst my friends. A sentence I often say, because your not allowed to do something or eat something. “It’s just something else Cancer has taken from me”  I used to have a jaguar Xjr outside my house. An absolute beast, my wife always wanted me to get rid of the car that did 4mpg. I eventually gave in when my mobility became compromised and the driveway started to become brown instead of the blue granite chip I had put down. When it left and I was asked how I felt. My reply was “it’s just something else Cancer has taken from me”  

 it’s somewhere in Coventry now. 

Another major thing I had to give up, was blue cheeses. Man I love the stuff, like runny boiled eggs, and runny fried eggs. What u say in the US.. Over easy?? These were just a couple of things. Rare meat, biscuits that had been opened a day previous. Fruit that was not seemingly taken straight from the tree. If you did have fruit it needed to be washed well. Same as now, nothing has changed, no bbqs, no driving. Just basically life is not your own you have to submit to Cancer and let it run your life. If you don’t then it WILL win. You have to accept you are weaker than you were before, accept that you are now under medical care. Accept that your body is now being used by the medical profession to help you prolong your life. 

Really, did I do any of this. Of course I did whilst thinking I would like to help others by keeping a record of how I felt daily. When I decided to do a daily blog, I just hoped 1 person a day would read it, but hoped it would help them. Still not many people read them but I do get some positive feed back. You can find all I have written since preparing for isolation at 

http://www.fonzandcancer.com 

  Maybe you can’t relate to anything I say, but your not meant to. Your supposed to think about your own life and how your path has taken you to reading this blog. Why we are connected through a few words. Is it fate, is it just how our God has connected us. What ever the reason it’s a reality. What I dearly love doing daily, is making a differance. Hoping that somewhere someone would be able to put these words into thier own life and make it better. That somehow the crap we have faced is for a reason and not just a stumbling block. 

I don’t believe anything is there to trip us up, it’s there to make us look and take notice. To help us decide what route to take. To look and go “well hey that won’t happen again” 

That’s what I said the first time I got Cancer, but when I got it again I just realised the journey is supposed to be for others too. That’s when I decided to set up Cancer stories ( friends ) we all have a story, fight, or a battle. It’s called life. But what’s the point in not using our exsperiences to help others right?

  

I have learnt to love my life, even with Cancer in it. I have learnt to love the people that have chosen to stay in it even though I was riddled with Cancer. I have also chosen to give when you feel you can’t, to be positive when life is so very very hard. 

What will you choose?

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com if you can’t find my blog, you can get the latest 1 at 6 am gmt daily at Fonzandcancer.com