The dream

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The dream for me was always way above what I could reach, pie in the sky some might say.  Well that certainly was not the case, I mean how hard can it be to have standards and stick to them. I have had to meet allot of people to find the right person for me. A person that would allow me to be me, someone that would laugh whole heartedly with me. Someone that was secure in who they were, somone who was not afraid of work. She did not have to be a super model, but I certainly did not want to wake up scared of what I saw every day.

  
To fulfil a dream, everything has to be the best. In a dream impossible things are made possible, made possible by the amazing imagination that we all have. What we dream is not always the best for us though, there is someone who has better plans for us than ours could ever be. For ours are restricted by us, we always come in the way are try to make our dreams tangable.

  
The reality is this cliche “you have to have a dream to make a dream come true”  so dream as much as you like. Because the dreams you have WILL come true if you believe they will. You have to believe, and in believing be prepared to put in the effort. As life moves on our exspectations change, what we hope for changes and we start to persue different avenues. I guess some may say I live the dream, roof over my head, an amazing wife, our lab Faith and of course our puss in boots Jenson. 

  
 The one thing you have to have before a dream comes a reality, is belief. Belief it’s possible, and belief in yourself to make it happen. There are to many unhappy people in the world because they settled for second best. In doing that contentment is never achieved, the best for us leads us to be happy. Oh how I love to look out of the window and see our garden grow. But better I like to look at our garden grow with my wife by my side.

  
There is no reason for you to stop believing in your dream in a different way. Just because life throws you a rough deal we can still find beauty and happiness if we choose. Anyone can sit in a seat and complain. It’s the winners that get up everyday and make it happen. We all have points where we get slowed down because of the things that happen in our lives. Just make sure you never lose sight of your dream.

Mark
http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.

Determination

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This is a word that I have come to understand in many different ways over the past few years, although I have come close to the word in different situations. The translation of the word speaks of success because of grit and determination. I am not so sure if all determination brings success, in my case it gave me more life to enjoy. I suppose that can be classed as success. It just depends what you see as success.  I don’t think things is a mark of that, I personally think if you want to see the substance of a man look at his friends.

  
Mine are very diverse, but one thing all of them have in common they are considerate. They are all caring people, always wanting to help others as they walk the path we call life. I have been very disappointed by some people I regarded as friends, people I had been there for were not there for me when I needed them in my fight with cancer. I cannot come up with the answers as to why people would all of a sudden become silent because you are in trouble with your health. If you have any thoughts I would be glad to hear what your opinions are.

  
Love is the greatest gift of all the Bible teaches us. But despite the bible teaching this, I hold this opinion anyway. What greater gift is there to have from someone other than love. It costs nothing, yet means everything. It brings renewed energy, but yet costs nothing. I believe that it’s actions that show a person not words, so anything you do for a person shows the love you have within you. You were given the gift of love within you when you were born. But you learnt how to hate, you were taught it, by television, others opinions, reactions and actions showed you how to be horrible. But you never had to learn how to love. Why?

  
Because every person is born out of an act of love, you already knew what love is. Something you never had to learn, but what you can do is learn how to use your free gift better than before. All you have to do is do. It’s that simple do for someone else not you, it’s the secret to success. The secret is giving. Someone said to me there are two types of people in life. Givers and takers. By being determined you can make more of a difference, a determined person, makes things happen. Someone that takes is restricted by their lack of determination. Your choice to be determined will change lives.

  
But that’s your choice.

Mark
http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.

Life is a gift.

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You ever sat down and truly tried to understand what makes YOU work. That your heart, lungs work without having you thinking about it seamlessly whilst you go about your day. How amazing it is that we are given time on this earth, it does not matter how long we are here for each day of our lives is a special gift. 

  
As I was writing this, I felt compelled to go across to see the lady with the beautiful smile. Wendy is her name, only to find her mum had died. How very very sad, that today she was taken. It was a privalage to sit with her and her son for a short time speaking fondly of Grandma Jenny’s life and memories. Life is indeed precious and who would have thought it would have been shown to us today in such a real way. Can we just pause for a moment and say a prayer.

  
“Father thank you for this gift of life, you have given to us. Please draw close to grandma Jenny’s family at this time. Show them your love through the Holy Spirit in Jesus name I ask. Amen

Thank you for reading today, but I find my thoughts are with this family today. Even though this is the case I still feel compelled to finish writing this. 

It’s you that has the gift of life, it’s a gift you have been given. Use it well, use your exsperiences well. Even if you have a life threatening disease, your fighting. What ever situation you find yourself in please use it the best you can. Bless others with the breath you have, help others to know there is hope. Give with a pure heart never counting the cost. I for one will do my best to love my fellow man and help someone today to see how precious this life is. 

  
You are unique no one else can do what you can the way you can.

Have a great day.

Mark
http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.

Compliments In cancer.

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Good morning, I hope your feeling good. I want to share with you again today how I feel, what makes me feel good as a cancer patient, or even as I am now in recovery. The sentence we all dread “you look great” as a seasoned cancer patient, these words grate on me. We all know we don’t look grate, we have had chemo and or radiation. Which makes us look crap, our hair falls out, (in all locations) your skin colour changes and you actually look fatigued. Now I don’t want to go on about how the things people say make us feel bad rather I would like you to know things we appreciate. These things are usually unspoken.

  
A hug – man, I can’t tell you how much energy a hug gives me. It’s like you have pulled into a petrol station and are being refilled with love. We often have so much on our minds, when’s the next appointment, what can’t and can I eat. Have I had enough water today, did I have my anti sickness, did I take my tablets at the right time. All these single tasks take us away from normal living.

  
A meal – this means a colossal amount to a home that’s buried in cancer, a home affected by cancer. Because eating is actually perfunctory, you have no taste, and most things taste like rubber. But a good nutritional meal brought to your home, gives rest bite. Not only for the person with cancer but for the person caring. A one pot is usually perfect.

  
Note – please make sure extra care in cleanliness is taken if doing this for someone on chemo. Also to check what things they are maybe not allowed.

A cuppa – this must come without the question “how are you doing” ( How am I doing …. Man I am mid chemo) is what we think whilst smiling and saying ” yea not bad thanks” whilst also thinking there will be blood spillage if they ask that again.

  
A smile – a really nice genuine smile really boosts me I can’t speak for anyone else. But I have a Nieghbour and when she smiles at me I know she means it, and warms my heart.

  
A few encouraging words – like your doing great keep it up. Comments about your garden or something else can be a real God send as you don’t think about cancer for that period. It’s all you think about is CANCER. It’s a massive stone around your neck. 

A phone call – talk about something you both love, that’s easy with my brother as we both love anything with an engine. Try and get the person who has cancer to engage with you about what you both love note – they may be exstemly fatigued sometimes best to text before calling. But trust me it’s nice to get a call from someone. If they call you, then you are trusted to make their day that little bit better.  

i believed people when they said “you look better without hair” that’s not the right thing to say to a girl. In a female case I may ask if they want to make any changes. It’s about providing a need for a sufferer not your need to see them that is important here. People say to me “I need to see you” what is that all about. I mean where are the thoughts for the person suffering there. 

Look I know it’s tough for everyone.

Never ever forget the carer. I remember the people that asked about my Andie and still do, generally if you ask how the carer is it goes a long way and they may even forgive you for saying they look great. People like this are genuine friends with a huge heart for you. I am so fortunate, I have a number of good friends like that.

  
The best compliment you can give someone is to say “I WILL be there for you, and will call you soon” please note. You know where we are if you need anything!! Is not any help what so ever. In fact it’s just someone to remember. But contact via text, sending happy vibes is so needed and nice. You know your cared for. That’s the bottom line really, the best compliment is knowing your cared for by what ever action you think is fit. It does include the word action though. Friends know they are friends by what they do, not what they say.

  
Lastly laughter, make sure you laugh.

Mark
http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.

88lbs of cheese.

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When I was leaving school we had to do something known as a YTS, (youth training scheme) I opted to do retail. My first placement was at a fruit and veg stall in our local kwick save in leyland. I was given the opportunity to work on the meat counter after a while. It’s was good, as my mum and dad had always rattled on at me to get a skill. Which of course butchery was. 
This particular day I went into work to earn my £5.50 £27.50 weekly. And was asked to go in the fridge where I would find 88lbs of cheese, I was given a small flimsy hand grater and away I went, by mid morning I had 2 blue plasters on my knuckles where the skin had ended up in the cheese. But I kept going swopping hands. I then obviously cut the knuckles on my other hand to that also required blue plasters. The grated cheese came with some red speckles in it to.

  
On finishing I was told there was another 88lbs in the fridge that I could make a start on after my lunch. 

  
No way I thought, not a chance I am doing that. Not a chance. So off I went for lunch making a bee line for my local butchers called Chris coombers. They offered me a job and said I would start the next day. I took grate pleasure in going back to kwick save and taking my white coat off and putting it next to the cheese that needed grating.

  
What are you doing said the boss. “Leaving the grating for you, I am off I have a new job. Enjoy your life” off I went for an afternoon riding my bike. It was amazing to feel I was employed. The feeling of freedom was immense.

  
 Well So what’s the point in this blog. Well it’s to encourage you that You have your own destiny in your hands. You can do what ever you like, but you have to make it happen. Don’t carry on being unhappy, your life is yours be happy in it. 

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.

Recommended blogs

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achieve, animal, attitude, bone, cancer, desire, destiny, encouragement, energy, facebook, friends, given, help, hope, hospital, life, lire, love, loved, muscle, partner, raise awareness, relentless, silverback, stories, struggle, survived, together, transplant, travel, tvr, twitter

These are blogs that I feel MAY encourage you. Your feedback fellow bloggers would be appreciated. Why? Because I have included blog links. Do you think I should recommend more or less blogs, I am considering doing a top 3 weekly recommendation. Every single week, I will post blogs to encourage the person that is blogging. (I will only do this if I actually think they deserve to be shared.)

You may want to tell me of a blog you think deserves a mention. But please let me know what you think.

Recommended blogs
http://www.shanneva.com/5-summer-savers/

https://saradoolittle.wordpress.com/2015/07/23/sparkles/

http://deannahp.blogspot.co.uk/

Mark

Heart and soul

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The passion is in us, wether it’s for wood, plants, or fast cars we all are passionate about something. For me it’s fast cars, it’s my love and passion. It’s something I imagined me doing at a young age, sadly it would never happen proberbly due to the commitments our family had to the church and of course we were not wealthy either which did not help.

It’s over 20 years since Senna died, arguably the best driver to ever sit behind the wheel of an F1 car. It’s F1 race day at Hungary today, a really fun track. Clouded by the fact that Jules Bianchi died this week, a life wasted some might say. I am sure for Jules it was the 1 thing he wanted to do and passed doing it. What are your thoughts?  

  
For me it’s to be the best you can be in what ever you do. What’s the point in shuffulling from place to place never giving what you love 100% indeed is there a point in being in a career that you don’t give your all to. Life is ours, it’s ours to enjoy or endure. It’s our choice isn’t it.

  
One day you won’t have these choices to make they will be made for you, by your health or in old age. Life is about doing what you can now, not tomorrow. You have heard me speak of tomorrow the day that never arrives. Let’s not put off till tomorrow what we can do today. Today is what matters, your choices are what matters today. Be who you are, not what someone else wants to be. My wife wanted a career, so I support that whole heartedly. It’s my job to support and encourage my wife. Not make her be what I want her to be, she is her own person and should be allowed to be just that.

  
Some have to fight for their life, like I have. One thing is for sure, I will use what life I have left to encourage as many people as possible. I will continue to endeavour to make a differance, to challenge whilst being the best that I can be. Saying I WILL  and dismissing the negative words where ever possible from my life.

Have a great day

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.

How far you have come.

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achieve, animal, attitude, bone, cancer, desire, destiny, encouragement, energy, facebook, friends, given, help, hope, hospital, life, lire, love, loved, muscle, partner, raise awareness, relentless, silverback, stories, struggle, survived, together, transplant, travel, tvr, twitter

when ever I am on the right track I always come across people that make your life harder. If I am not on the right road it’s always easier. Am I on my own here. Or is this not the same for all of us? For me doing this everyday as well as reminding myself of different things, and bringing myself to a positive place daily. I hope beyond all hope that others are in turn being encouraged. Someone said to me in a group I joined that my blogs were self promotion. It really annoyed me, even made me feel like not bothering to do this anymore.. But (not wanting to labour) then I saw this.

  
Many of you if not ALL of you reading this will have faced moments when you feel like throwing the towel in. That’s when real people show their real substance, how we respond is everything.  I was definetley deflated last night, I could not even sleep it affected me that much. Anyway that’s behind me now, I am only human.

  
It’s ironic as its made me remember what we have suffered, we as sufferers tend to forget what we felt at certain times. It’s far to distressing to recall. But I realised something, that if I did not write it down it will be lost forever, you never know maybe even folk will understand the road of treatment better.

I believe the word forgiveness is one of the most powerful things we can do. When we forgive someone, it’s not our problem anymore, it also kind of evaporates what we felt. I have talked about forgiveness before in another blog. You may want to read that one to after you have read this one. 

  
One thing I know, is that as people we are unique and hold different opinions. The opinions held by others are thiers, not ours to judge. Learning to not take on others problems as your own is a vital skill in this journey we all call life. You are without doubt unique, you have something to give in all situations. It’s important that we are reminded of how valuable we are, even if it’s us ourselves doing the reminding.

Can I just take the opertunity by saying thank you to all the people that share and comment on these blogs. It means so much to see them spread. 

  
Just remember your the best you can be right now, you also have the opertunity to learn from your past and be a better best by putting it into practice. Remember what you were so you can see how far you have come, victory is so much closer than it was. There is an opertunity in every situation if we look for it.

Have a great weekend

Mark  

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.

Come prepared to fight.

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I hope you have a great day today. Today I want to talk to you about my attitude, what drives me and how I am made. 

  
Yes of course I have a side of me that’s considered, genuine, loving and maybe even gentle. But there is a side to me that will not give up, it does not matter what people say to me. I will shun it if it’s negative, even cut that person out of my life completely. I will not allow negativity in my house although I do slip up now and again as I am sure many do.  In the main, we will stop with a coffee and discuss our direction and then get back on track again. 

  
The day I was told I had cancer invoked a reaction, that reaction is what saved my life. We all have a choice in how we respond, the moment we respond is when we show who we really are, what our substance is, what we are made of.  You see I could have adopted the shoulder shrug, then just given in to it. I hear some people do. It’s tough, not something you can take on with a can’t do it attitude. It takes tanacity, it takes depth of who you are, and it takes friendships. 

  
People that spur you on, people you see at the winning line. Only they are there with you holding the spit bucket, mopping your brow, people that help you maintain focus. People that are there because they want to be, not because they have to be. People like my wife. My dad has sent me a message every single day without fail, loving me through some really tough times. Friends that have helped push me up when I had no more in me. We can all be that person for someone, it’s us that chooses to or not to. 

I have been inspired today by a video which I will link at the end of this blog, inspired because we can always do something for someone. It’s our choice to make, I know I keep on about helping others. I make no opology, sorry. 

Surely love is better than hate.

It’s your choice.

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.

What’s impossible?

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How are you? Having a good week? Or are you getting in the way?  I am not sure if people realise that it’s your own mind that restricts us from being a success. The trouble with that word is it means so many different things to so many different people. I mean for me success is about getting into remission. For you it maybe paying off your mortgage, or that new car you have your eye on.  Is that really success though well I don’t think so, because my perimeters have changed.

  
What makes us who we are is what we expect out of life, our expectations are who we are. I used to think that things mattered, that having something matters. Well I have come to the conclusion that  things do NOT show who we are, but how we respond to others depicts what and who we are. We as humans when we see someone we judge them in a few seconds, we assess what sort of person they are. What we drive, how we look, how we dress, how shallow are humans really.  We are so ready to talk about ourselves, I know we have talked about the fact we have 2 ears and 1 mouth therefore we should listen more. 

  
Anyone remember?  That we listen to respond as opposed to listening to what is actually being said in a previous blog. How many of you have put it into practice? Only you know why or what you get out of reading these blogs, but I need you to know something.

It’s really important and I hope you remember this next sentence. ” only what you perceive to be possible can be done, what ever YOU perceive to be impossible will not be done by you” 

  
Everything you believe in your mind IS true. To you anyway, although others may not see it the way you do. That’s what makes them them. We have to accept the parameters people set for themselves, not trying to change what they believe but showing them what you believe. Recovery won’t allow me to be who I am. But what your reading now, is my effort at expression. My way of trying to get you to believe that anything is possible if you believe it. 

  
The only thing between you and success is YOU.

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.