• I am Mark. A Cancer fighter. I WILL WIN. I Did Win TWICE. HOW AWESOME IS THAT….

fonzandcancer blogging to encourage.

~ Encouraging you, because being positive helps everyone.

fonzandcancer blogging to encourage.

Category Archives: Cancer

Inspirational people.

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Posted by fonzandcancer in blassing, Cancer, martinhouse, mental health, Oppertunity

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

attitude, cancer, facebook, happiness, health, hope, love, Martin house, raise awareness, survivor, tvrcc, twitter

Good morning – here we are again it’s Tuesday. Preparing for the biggest event I have organised. But how was it born, how was our “By eck it’s Yorkshire “ trip inspired. So many of you know I have a daily fight with pain and pushing back the tears is sometimes the only victory I have in a day. I don’t feel sorry for myself I just want to do good in the world. When I met my now friend Richard Sails he was determined to get me to help out in the TVRCC Lancashire region. Being a dyslexic I was concerned about it but I did see it as an opportunity to bless people. After all I don’t feel pain whilst driving my TVR.

So one of the first runs I organised was one to the Lake District to Kirkstone pass and onto Pooley Bridge. On the trip we stopped at Sizergh Castle. I wanted to talk to everyone and as I made my way down the 10 cars I saw my friend Ian. We had been cyber friends for some years and passed each other on events like out TVRCC “Thrills in the hills” event in 2017. The only year prior to this I was a member.

As I spoke to Ian he got out of his car and took a wheel chair out of his boot. As I looked around I could not see a passenger. He proceeded to put on his gloves and sit in the chair and whizz himself to the cafe. I was overwhelmed and could not hold back a tear. He inspired me to do something to help someone or some body of people where ever we run.

It was still a thought process. But him being from Yorkshire along with another inspiring Man and friend of mine. He would not like me to say his name. But Nick is one of those people also that moves forwards what ever life throws. Inspirational and strong!

We did the Rhyl run and in brief wore crazy shirts to support a member lost to cancer. Indeed inspirational themselves. Pam Jeffrey did a lot for others too and even in days before she passed was determined to walk a hill.

On this trip organised by Ian Millington and his son James I saw Ian and Nick again. All the way from the east coast. I had to do something I had to do something closer to them. Which brings me to my friend Derrick who had talked to me earlier in the year about how his son passed away which got my train of thought going as to how to help people like that in the future.

So driving home from Rhyl tired and unable to do any kind of speeds up to the limit of the road, it was slow and I stopped 4 times as the pain I felt would not dissipate. I dearly would have loved to have said something there and made stronger friendships but I knew I was out of steam so headed home. My thoughts were only of how to do something over on the east coast. So they were in their own back garden so to speak so we would make the effort and come over to them.

Little did I know what it would turn into. My friend Rick found Martin house. I made contact with them and we were able to do an event supporting them. I have set my goal high and intend to raise £10000 but maybe it’s a bridge to far but better than doing nothing right. So we are doing a raffle and auctioning some prizes off.

We will be putting smiles on people’s faces and will be doing it all in aid of Martin House in Boston spa. What a privilege to be able to do this. To have the vehicles and “TVRCC “ to accomplish this. So many kind people have helped and I owe a lot to them. Many thanks to you all the Lake District break donated by Mr Rackham, wheels donated by Stuart, racing instruction at Knock hill. Born from seeming negativity.

The Jewellery by “Jo Pratsides Jewellery”

Life’s so precious Sam Pearce-Warrilow has donated a photograph session

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Phots-Shoot-Pro-Photography-In-Aid-Of-Martin-House-Childrens-Charity-/384361150089?mkcid=16&mkevt=1&_trksid=p2349624.m46890.l49286&mkrid=710-127635-2958-0

The wheels donated

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/TVR-Tuscan-20-Wheels-Used-Low-Profile-Tyres-/384356811820?mkcid=16&mkevt=1&_trksid=p2349624.m46890.l49286&mkrid=710-127635-2958-0

A driving tuition day

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Track-Day-Tuition-In-Your-Own-Car-Proffessional-Race-Car-Tutor-/384358623173?mkcid=16&mkevt=1&_trksid=p2349624.m46890.l49286&mkrid=710-127635-2958-0

Autoglym have donated and many many other people including Richard Irons.

People complain about dust, about things that don’t matter. What truly matters is loving people and while you can’t forget your pains it’s good to talk about anything that bothers you and if the person chooses to walk away that’s up to them. Doing your best is what counts. Doing and not complaining. Giving and not counting the cost.

Going forwards I aim to only look forwards and bless people where I can I mean why stop. So many more people will be blessed by this club next few years and I consider it a privilege to be involved.

If your unable to come to the event on the 4th September please do share this post. Please bless people with this post and help us to raise as much money as possible.

God bless you all and I hope this finds you well

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram @dogrupher

@fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share

with others, if it meant something to you, it will to some

one else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own taken whilst creating memories every day. Some pictures taken by enthusiasts on the day.

You could change a life by sharing this post!

Will you?

Copyright ©2021

Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.

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Bullet proof, or just human.

Featured

Posted by fonzandcancer in Cancer, depression, martinhouse, mental health, Relationships, Stress

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

encouragement, hope, love, Martinhousecc, tvrcc, tvrnorthengland

In life we face all kinds of situations, some are amazing, some sad, some are upsetting and so on. But one thing I have realised in my continued fight is not everyone will understand what you have been through or what you are going through.

The secret I think is to always find the good. As a friend of mine says. “It’s good to be good” wealthy or otherwise it makes no odds we all have the power to be good. To be nice to be positive, to be kind and caring. Not everyone will like it as some love to fight.

For me it’s about the giving, the loving the generosity and seeing the smile is all I need. If your going through something, it’s not wrong for someone not to get it. For me it’s chronic pain that nobody can see. I find whilst experiencing it ALL the time that you can’t feel it whilst doing something that makes you happy.

Really, I am not joking! You can’t feel pain whilst driving a car that makes you feel good. For example my TVR it’s my happy place. Of course it only masks it for a time but it’s better than any pain killer I have had. Joy also has the same affect. Joy on someone’s face makes me feel a feeling that is not describable . Positivity spreads and is infectious like negatively is also. But we choose which one we live by.

No matter what I will always choose to love over hate. Another thing my friend says is “wales never fails” the same as love “perfect love casts out all fear” why choose to live a life that’s not positive. What is there to gain after all I have enough negativity with out choosing to accept it into my life on top of my condition.

Life’s tough for us all. Without exception. Choosing love is a precious way to live. Helping someone across a road. Finding something positive to say. Building people up are all things I want to do with my life.

One thing I am doing in September is to do an auction for a charity that needs help. I have put it out there and a few people in a short time have given to the cause. People from all over the place. My new friend John, Rick, Heath, Dan, jo, Sam, Nick, Ian, Richard to name a few that have given donations to raise funds for the cause and we have not even got started yet.

The TVRCC is full of amazing people willing to help., people are being so generous and the family’s will have huge smiles put on their faces when they see us drive by them. What a gift to be able to have fun whilst helping others. To be able to help people with what you have available to you.

When I bought my car, the doctors gave me weeks to live without treatment and here we are 10 years later. Giving is a most precious way to live and I will continue to do this till the day I die. My journey is one of giving, one of blessing others. One of mistakes also, but no ones perfect right. I most definitely am not. But to do your best to bless someone everyday is the right way for me to live.

You won’t truly understand unless you experience hardship, or life’s struggles have an effect on your body. You only truly empathise with another when you have faced trials of your own. Love is the right way for me. Unconditional love casts out all fear. Only that can come from being able to get rid of that which weighs you down. Remember The https://fonzandcancer.wordpress.com/2015/06/08/164/. Garbage truck

We have to let go of things that weigh us down. Choose to dump them I say.

Enjoy the rest of your day

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram @dogrupher

@fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share

with others, if it meant something to you, it will to some

one else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own taken whilst creating memories every day. Some pictures taken by enthusiasts on the day.

You could change a life by sharing this post!

Will you?

Copyright ©2021

Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.

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Are you being punished in pain!

Featured

Posted by fonzandcancer in Cancer, Love, mental health, Relationships

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

cancer, Compassion, Goodness, hope, strength

It’s 7pm and I am leaking again the pain is unbearable like having glass wounds all over the soles of my feet and hands not even my positive thinking is helping today . Feelings of negativity have flooded me again. It’s so hard to shun some days. Needing pain killers for an invisible condition no body sees. Yet still I continue to move forward to encourage and do my best. That seems absolutely fruitless some days.

Our dogs waiting for dad to come home.

I actually feel crushed. Such a positive person with so much to give should be slammed down like this. It’s hard to bare and wonder some days why the hell I had my treatment. Thoughts then turn to positive things.

You have to do your best to draw yourself back.

Thoughts of gratefulness and words said by a then near stranger “you maybe loud but your positivity and happiness is great and makes me smile”

The person does not need a name he knows. The point is that what you speak to others can be a blessing. Just one sentence can help to maintain your spirits and to help you Re focus.

So I want to say, if you think it and it can have a positive effect on others please please say what it is. It could be the foothold someone needs. You only truly know the true value of life when you have faced losing it.

It’s very cruel people can be treated then left with severe side effects for life. Yea I guess I am feeling sorry for myself a bit. Yet I am still doing my best to rise. Success for some would be to walk up stairs to others to rent a penthouse. Well for me it’s smiles on faces.

I am very privileged to know so many quality people.

What ever it is you do in your day. Make sure you say the words that will bless someone it really really does matter. just say it and choose to bless someone.

Your pain is a reminder your alive.

God bless you all and remember “ your more than what you have become”

Mark

https://youtu.be/MN3x-kAbgFU

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram @dogrupher

@fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share

with others, if it meant something to you, it will to some

one else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own taken whilst creating memories every day. Some pictures taken by enthusiasts on the day.

You could change a life by sharing this post!

Will you?

Copyright ©2021

Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.

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Peaks to the beach TVRCC run. Our memorial run for Pam Jeffries.

Featured

Posted by fonzandcancer in Cancer, living with camcer, Love, mental health, Mountains, Oppertunity, tvr

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

#rhyleventsandactivities, #tvrinmotion, #tvrridesout, achieve, awareness, Compassion, faith, raise awareness, survived, survivor, transplant, tvr

Well how can I help you to understand the beauty of unity within a club. Many times since I have been a member of our club, I have had to pinch myself at the thrills this community provides; for other communities as well as our own.

A T350 popping through the tunnels

Yesterday was our run to the beach at Rhyl seafront. It was not just amazing to see all the cars together but to be seen in so many locations by so many people. The internet has been alight since we all parked up at Rhyl .

View from a Tuacan of my car.

I am reminded often being part of this wonderful group of people that where there is unity God COMMANDS a blessing. Many many people were blessed yesterday. Which fills me with a wonderful joy and gratefulness. If you believe or not the fact remains that where there is unity there will always be blessings.

New friends made that will last a lifetime.

We as a club are passionate about our cars and Life.

Meeting friends
Picking up the new old Chimarea

Pam was sadly taken by an aggressive cancer and we all felt it was a great tribute to her and her life as Pam visited the Ponderosa a lot. Pam loved to drive there and did often. Wonderful to be where Pam had been on our TVRCC event. “Peaks to the beach” and to hug her husband in a truly emotional meeting. Where they both spent so many happy hours with her family.

Rolling through the hills in Dave’s Tuscan

The cars were seen roaring through the welsh countryside and burbling through villages and open spaces putting smiles upon smiles on people’s faces. It’s such a joy to be a part of something so special and to be accepted by others if your car cost £5000 or £100000 we all have 1 thing in common. Our cars rough or perfect your welcomed. No one looks down on anyone. It’s a beautiful thing.

Louis our budding photographer

Our aim as a club is to help people in their situations what ever they are and to give the gift of joy. To enthuse younger people that the brand is something to be proud of and put smiles on faces.

So we thank you Rhyl for hosting us and proving us with great food on the prom and hope to be back next year. Unless of course you would like to see us again this year. Have a great evening everyone and thank you all for. A fabulous day.



http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Instagram @dogrupher
@fonzymark
Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share
with others, if it meant something to you, it will to some
one else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own taken whilst creating memories every day. Some pictures taken by enthusiasts on the day.

You could change a life by sharing this post!
Will you?
Copyright ©2021

Rhyly good to see you all.



We can’t wait to see you again.

The link for donations

https://www.justgiving.com/remember/883236/Pam-Jeffery?fbclid=IwAR3GzcPWDI_1AGnRR2uiFnAZkpT_Aj7qgGw7LdjXDpKSlEBYs0yANaSuqHM

Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.

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The best you, there is. 

07 Monday Sep 2020

Tags

belief, believe, Belive, carryon, chemotheropy, hope, love, motivation

Your faced with a path that you feel you don’t have the strength to complete. Well I am writing this to motivate you where you are at. What ever you face today, you are the best you that you can be, you are a you that no one else can be. I have realised something recently in my life, that you are what you give not what you have. We are not defined by what we have but by what we give. What you give does not have to be money, or things. As long as what you give is the best you there is. 

A you that keeps moving forwards. Although Rocky Balboa is a made up character. Rocky has helped me in my life, the story sylvester initiated encouraged me to carry on. To finish my treatment, to get up when I thought it was not possible. I am reliving my bonemarrow transplant at the moment through a person that’s stuck in a room having what I had also. Remembering how many times me and my wife watched rocky 3 and 4 over and over and over. Gaining strength as I reached for the power within me. The power God gave me, that he gave me because I asked. You can carry on, you can win. You just have to stand and move forwards.NO MATTER WHAT!. 

Listen to your heart, and keep moving forwards towards the goal you have set. You are not rich because of what you have, you are rich because of what you give. 

PAIN does not last forever, use your pain as a vehicle to help others. Choose to get up choose to reach out to someone and make a difference. Pain does not last for ever but what ever you do because of that pain will last a lifetime. 

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.

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Posted by fonzandcancer | Filed under Cancer, Cancer stories, Carling cup final, Chemothearopy, Christmas, depression, dogs, Holiday, Hope, Love, Oppertunity, Paris, Pets, Relationships, Super Bowl 50, Uncategorized, Winner

≈ 13 Comments

It’s good to talk!

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Posted by fonzandcancer in Cancer, Cancer stories, Chemothearopy, depression, Hope, mental health, Stress, Suicide

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

attitude, awareness, black, cancer, encouragement, F1, faith, family, health, kravitz, racism, strength, Ted, transplant, tvr, weakness

Good day to you, it’s July 4th today; Independence day in the US. If that’s you. Happy Independence Day! July 4th in the UK will be the day remembered that pubs were allowed to open in the UK during the Covid-19 pandemic.

One thing that’s taken some getting used to for me, writing posts like Its ok to not be ok, is talking about mental health. I am fortunate to have friends that accept me for who I am and don’t want to change me. It makes me feel safe to talk about my feelings. I am learning everyday that we are all not talking about things and recently I have decided to talk and indeed have talked to people I feel I can trust. I am surprised to find that one of my friends said such a poignant sentence to me. He does that, and it’s a real privilege to have him in my close circle of friends. He says things that are meaningful and honest. I can’t stand folk that speak with small amounts of knowledge. It’s far better to speak from experience than to think you know the answer. No one can take away your experiences! They are yours and yours alone.

“I prefer to listen to someone’s problems, than attend their funeral!”

Wow it was a light bulb moment. I spend my days encouraging people and loving them through their struggles. I spend time talking and being open and honest and being real. Even though I do this I understand that it’s really important to take time to yourself as well. So you can be the best you that you can be. Being effective is about looking after yourself as well as others.

YOU CAN is a powerful thing to say to anyone. It’s amazing the power you have as a human to help someone; or put them down with anything you say to them. I have people contact me from all types of backgrounds. Politicians, pundits; F1 Ted Kravitz has sent some encouraging words, as has Mark Blundell. You never know who you will affect in your life if you choose to say nothing. There are some wonderful people out there in the world. Yet yesterday was one of the worst of my life to date.

You see sometimes the way we feel is not us, it can be chemically induced, and affects your mind and some days all we can do is hold on. Just that holding on can be draining and tiresome. Yet holding on can be courageous and so much more is required to hold on than to let go. To achieve anything you have to hold on, you have to believe the storm will pass. You have to keep your head up and press on. My brother is good at this.

There is another thing the wisest man I know said to me yesterday. That storms are useful! In the bible story, where Jesus was asleep in the boat, to find the disciples waking him in a panic believing the storm would sink the boat. But Jesus put his hands out and stilled the water.

The wise man said to me after I said “These are huge waves I am riding dad” His response was

“Waves carry you forwards!”

So so true! I am not writing this to tell on all the people that help me in my life. I am attempting to encourage you, that talking is so much better than saying nothing. Us men are so proud yet you would be surprised at how many people; who have seemingly normal lives have things going on with them, that they are finding tough. Yet YOU! Yes you! Can have a positive influence on peoples lives. If you talk. If you say nothing, then how can you learn? How can you help someone. It’s only possible if we communicate with other people.

Some people hide what they feel and keep it inside and never have an effect on anyone’s life. Is that how you want to live? To only ever get from the world and never even use a wave you have ridden to affect someone in a positive way. In most of my writings I talk about how negatives need to exist so that there can be a positive. All of your experiences can be used for good if you let them. Hey no seriously I mean it ALL of them. Heck if I had not had such a bad day yesterday this post would not even exist.

“You can’t taste how sweet the sweet is, without tasting the sour!”

One sentence I said as a boy or should I say ‘prayed’ was “God I know why you made the blackberries but I don’t understand why you made the prickles. You are here to find out what this world is all about. During my cancer journey I have had to take many many drugs. Codeine, Tramadol, Gabapentin, Amitriptyline, and the one I am currently doing my best to come off of. HEROIN!! Disguised as Oxycodone!!! It messes you up when you withdraw as I am right now. Yet even as I withdraw, I am finding purity in life. In friendships, marriage, being a son. It’s all there for us all if we look.

Even being a child of God is hard sometimes. Being loving is hard sometimes. Being lonely is hard sometimes. Being positive is hard sometimes. Just hanging on is hard sometimes. But what ever you do in this life make sure that you are honest and talk to your friends. Make new ones and don’t be afraid to be yourself; people will respect you and most importantly you will be accepted for you.

Listen I have lived a fake life, been someone I am not and tried to present a me that was fake. People know! They pick up on it and they won’t be real with you either and what you get from the world will just be fake THINGS! Don’t get me wrong it’s ok to have things, as long as they don’t change who you are. My car makes me smile when I need a smile putting on my face. The people that talk to you about what they own rather than sharing what they have learnt, have not learnt what true freedom from within is all about. I want people to look back on my life and see me as an inspiration. That people that are going through something tough will read some of my writings, and feel that they can move forwards when they felt they were unable. To help people look for the positives where it seems there is none. That there is a purpose in what you’re facing right now. That only you can do what you are doing and only you can be who you are!

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram @dogrupher

@fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share

with others, if it meant something to you, it will to some

one else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post!

Will you?

Copyright ©2020

Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.

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Coming off Heroin! (Oxycodone)

30 Tuesday Jun 2020

Posted by fonzandcancer in blassing, Cancer, Hope, Love, mental health, Stress, Suicide

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

attitude, cancer, destiny, encouragement, energy, hope, love, survived, transplant

Saturday 27th june 2020

Its been a horrific few days and its only just started really, for a long while i have dedicated my time to helping others in what ever situation they find themselves in. i suppose its something that’s inbred, having caring parents that always spend their time doing the same. has rubbed off on me over the years.

when you have serious procedures like a Bone marrow transplant and or chemotherapy for cancer its important to keep yourself pain free to concentrate on getting through the treatment. i realise many people will judge me for this post. but its not those people i write for. i write so people that are struggling so they can find hope, feel encouraged and believe they can carry on. illnesses are so debilitating, the pain that comes because of it can make you feel low and useless. The feelings are overwhelming for me i have even felt guilt that i am alive and even more that i am having to use drugs to cope with the pain.

My bone marrow transplant destroyed the enzyme in my body that converts codine into Morphine. So I had to take a different drug, man made to deal with my nerve pain. The important thing here for me is to see how my body is without the Drug in my body.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram @dogrupher

@fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share

with others, if it meant something to you, it will to some

one else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post!

Will you?

Copyright ©2020

Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.

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Everyday life

22 Sunday Dec 2019

Posted by fonzandcancer in blassing, Cancer, Christmas, depression, Hope, Love, Suicide

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Christmas, destiny, encouragement, friends, Laughter, myloma, together

Everyday life

Inspired by Cold play

https://youtu.be/UMkCkPzbLYI

One particular line (you gotta keep dancing when the lights go out)

Have you ever felt like it only ever happens to you?

You ever felt like it’s only you that gets dealt the bad hands and others get an easy ride. I know I have but at Christmas time we start to think about others don’t we. The ones fighting, the ones that are cold. The ones facing treatment, watching their life long partner breath their last breath. The lonely the blessed. The survivors the people that just won’t be beaten and carry on regardless! Some of the most wonderful people I have met in my life have absolutely nothing! Yet they have everything. To look in a persons eyes that has nothing to hide is a wonderful thing.

Somehow this line that’s inspired me. this blog post has taken me right back to when the lights went out for me, but had to keep fighting. I chose to carry on dancing in the dark. But more than that I am 4 yrs and 7 months post Bone marrow Transplant. I live with pain everyday and was fat when I left hospital! I hated the way I looked. I never understood how people could gain so much weight until it happened to me. Slowly but surly I have built n built making small adjustments to my life and because of that line. Because I heard that line. I realised that I have been dancing since the lights went out for a very long time.

But so much more than this, it’s made me realise that everyone has their own journeys. Their own daily struggles. Don’t ever look at someone and think they are not dancing in the rain. We all have different roads, different times yes. But you can never underestimate what a person has been through to get to where they are today. When I see old people I often wonder what went on in their life. How long they were married and it always fills me with delight to see older folk holding hands!

You know what cancer has taught me that everyone is on a journey.

It’s about doing something what ever that may be. Everyone hurts and everyone cries. Everyone falls. Everyone has hopes and dreams. But while some are doing their best some are unable. Your not alone!

We all go through things in our lives and everyone has battles. Maybe unseen, you may never even know someone faces anything.

It’s Christmas time where we celebrate that Jesus was born on earth and lived as an example for us to learn and follow.

It’s a time to remember someone, to make someone feel good. Behind every successful person is a bumpy road behind them. Yours is no harder than anyone else’s. Because as always it’s not what we face it’s how we deal with it. Please God forgive me, I have not been the best role model.

But then we come to the point that no darkness exists where there is light. Cold play may have just shone a light in my life by creating this song.

But like my friend Rob would say. Where there are ripples there are reactions.

So I want to challenge you to send this message to someone in your phone book. Send it to two people and ask them to do the same. Shall we spread some love this Christmas and make some people know that they are not alone! That they have a friend. That they are important. That they matter. That they are not the only ones!

Will you help me do that?

This is the message.

You are getting this message, because your important and appreciated. Because your treasured by God himself. Never give up! You have friends. What kind of world do you want it to be?Please forward to 2 people.

Can you imagine if someone chose to carry on dancing when the light go out because of you.

Let’s bless some people. If it’s a silly idea then fair play but it’s something we can all do today. To bless someone with positivity.

What are you going to do? What kind of world do you want it to be?

“Ya gotta keep dancing when the lights go out”

But carry on keep moving, keep being good. Choose to be a blessing.

Fonz

Don’t forget your message 👍🏼

Pss Merry Christmas

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram @dogrupher

@fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share

with others, if it meant something to you, it will to some

one else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post!

Will you?

Copyright ©2019

Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.

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Thomas cook goes under the day of our departure!

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Posted by fonzandcancer in Cancer, Cancer stories, depression, Holiday, Hope, Love, mental health, Oppertunity, Stress, Suicide

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Compassion, GOD, hospital, immunise, memories, weakness

Been a crazy couple of days! You read on the news that our airline Thomas cook is in need of funds and can’t afford to operate! Crazy in this day and age after all the 170 years experience that the company could not be saved. It’s really bothered me as to why. I have flown Thomas cook on a lot of occasions and have met some wonderful people along the way. Including fundraising for a lovely female stewardess who lost her life to the very disease I was also fighting! I can’t fathom why some people survive and others die. But what I do know is that life is precious. While going through the whole process of getting another flight or flights in our case as we are having to go to Istanbul on our way to Bodrum for our lads holiday.

I was watching other passengers and how stressed some were getting yet is it not just amazing to be alive and be able. Just that to be able! That’s a gift isn’t it to be able to do anything at all.

I had the opportunity to talk to someone who was clearly upset about his children’s behaviour and explained to him that it’s not what’s going on around that’s the issue. It’s how we think about it that truly matters. How we perceive things in life can actually turn things around for good.

Isn’t it our minds and how we perceive what’s going on around us that makes things easier to handle.

We have gone for weeks looking forwards to going away with the boys. Then 24 hrs before the plane takes off we learn the news that Thomas cook has crumbled! I find this hard to comprehend being that there is so so much that could have been done. Is it then not down to the massive payouts that people have had in their roles? Is it greed? Or could it be something unforeseen. I don’t think so, they have been trying to find a solution for 3 years sadly unsuccessfully.

It saddens me the amount of people that are now out of work due to this my friend Mathew cross is out of work. A wonderful steward supervisor that I became friends with and helped raise money fore his friend that v v sadly died weeks later. We can’t change what happens to others in most cases. But we can change ourselves and our own way of dealing with things. A lady behind me has been banging my chair attempting to get a reaction on the flight home. But my perspective is that she is unable to make me snap as it’s nowhere near as bad as being in the room having a transplant.

The day we departed Janette and Rita from Global travel in Bamber bridge sorted out so many things for us. You could say it’s a pain making a 11 hr journey into a 15hr one and changing 2 planes. No we are grateful that these people thought highly enough of us that we were still able to get some sun.

It’s the people that consider others that matter most. Or is it? That’s for you to make your mind up. But I choose to bless people where ever possible and you can too.

You all know I have had cancer and rely on tablets. I want to be free from them in Jesus name but maybe there are still some lessons for me to learn. It’s v v hard having a panic attack and feeling so scared in a room on your own. Due to us travelling I forgot to take my tablets! I start to feel ill after 10hrs that happens after 10hs of taking my pain killer everyday. Missing a second and then a third and then a second amtryptalyn ! Life gets very strange and leads to Panicking and wanting so so much to come home. Anyone else get that? Finding the courage to ring someone you think would care but being told to ring my wife! I cry out to the lord and ask God to help me. Then out of the blue I get a text reminding me of life and love and miriacles. That was my friend Gareth a Godly man. I was soon bk on track and my fear subsided.

I learnt from that. That if people are listening to the still small voice of our farther then it matters not where you are. I spent a lot of the rest of the holiday topping up my faith while others burnt their bodies.

I was able to pray with someone on the boat trip but that’s a whole nother post.

The point is, when things seem bad change your perspective rather than trying to change what’s not possible. All things are

Possible through Jesus. Even the closest people to you will let you down. But then some folk can’t walk in the spirit.

I also believe that prayer without actions is an excuse to do nothing! The bible says “faith without works is dead” there is no point praying and then doing nothing! Is there?

Thank you Jesus for loving us so much that we live in forgiveness. Amazing that Jesus died that we maybe forgiven. Sin is sin and God hates the sin NOT the sinner. You are loved by Jesus and that will not change.

My prayer is that all the Thomas cook people find new jobs and find happiness in their new roles. God bless you all!

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram @dogrupher

@fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share

with others, if it meant something to you, it will to some

one else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post!

Will you?

Copyright ©2019

Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.

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Our anniversary and the ty coch inn

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Posted by fonzandcancer in Cancer

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

cancer, destiny, foundations, Goodness, hope, Liverpool, longevity, Lord'sPrayer, pub, rises

So last night I had no idea where to go but asked God to show me what’s good for tomorrow. My friend Stuart who I had not spoken to in a few months and ironically the person I was with when I met my now wife in Manchester. So here we are celebrating our 9 th wedding anniversary on the Llyn Peninsula. Today I found out how good this place is!

Stewart told me about this pub called the Ty coch inn! Rubbish start to the day as we both felt ill. We are normally out at 9 mooching about and back for tea time. Today we were out at 10.20am which is late for us. The sun was shining and the feel good factor was there! U just believed today was going to be a really good day! Looking at Facebook reviews alone this place had 4.7 stars with over 1200 reviews. Gotta be doing something right you would think!

I followed the sat nav as far as the roads would allow and ended up on the golf course no really that’s where we ended up lol! We now know where the national trust car park is though!

But because we walked the way we did, it gave us the best impact as I had not seen the bat at all until we went down the slope to the back of the pub and there it was. A pub on a beach! My dream location! What a job! Makes me want to buy a boat and come over here from Southport! Sure would bring a new meaning to.

“Off to the pub love!”

Our dogs met other dogs and I can tell you it’s just about the most chilled that you can be is to be at that place.

I sat on the beach with my pint of stout listening to the waves and watching our dogs frolicking in the wave as the found the tennis ball!

A guy called Stuart runs the joint and Key who wears a trilby is one cool guy. I like him a lot. Probably because he’s his own person!

Here are a few pictures for you to enjoy from today! They don’t do chips either! I like that. Everything does come with crisps though lol

Please go and enjoy the place foods served from 12-2.30 each day! Lovely people and great location! You will enjoy it!

Have a great day

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram @dogrupher

@fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share

with others, if it meant something to you, it will to some

one else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post!

Will you?

Copyright ©2019

Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.

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Holding onto life, what it’s like.

26 Monday Aug 2019

Posted by fonzandcancer in blassing, Cancer, Chemothearopy, depression, Hope, living with camcer, mental health, Pets, Suicide

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

attitude, Christian, dealing with cancer, faith, help, hope, life, love, memories, mental health, struggle, survived, transplant, weakness

Sometimes ya gotta put it out there to encourage folk. So here ya go for an encouraging post.

Just gonna be honest!

I don’t know how I am still alive, I have battled with my mental health for some years. I had thought of suicide many many times. Thoughts of failure, and that even breath is wasted on me. Not many people have been there for me in this state, but there have been a few. Thank you to you. You don’t know how close to the edge I have been living. Thank God for my wife dogs parents and a few really good friends.

The pain caused by chemo was the worst! 7 years I lived with it before I was able to muster up enough faith to believe I would be healed. Try as I might I am unable to remember what that pain felt like. Yet, it was the worst pain I had even known in the whole of my life! Pains debilitating and takes your focus away from what truly matters. I have been fat and felt so so low at times I spent hours in tears! Seriously you have no idea what life has been like.

Even therapy didn’t help me, most certainly when a school friend who knew me well committed suicide I felt life could not be lived in my body anymore either and even gave me the strength to feel it was my way out also. I had talked that same man down off a bridge 20 yrs earlier and I kinda felt comfort that he had lived those years because I was there for him in the middle of the night. R.I.P. Si!

Other people have passed recently including my uncle of (yes you guessed it) cancer! How can a man hold onto his faith when faced with so much. I did!

Running my cancer group has been so so hard encouraging people facing losing their life, and actually loosing people you helped in their cancer fight. That has been very difficult also. Then there have been the people that have made life harder by talking about me not working behind my back! Knowing where that came from made me loose faith, people stopped coming to see me, I guess because it’s so hard to always be positive for someone. Yet the positivity folk did show helped me carry on. I have held onto my dog faith so so many times while she licked the tears from my face!

You have to hold on to what ever it is that helps you through! For me it’s been my faith my wife, my parents, close friends and my dogs! It does not matter what helps you but hold onto it as tight as you can. That brings me to this blog and how much it’s helped me to write things down. That writing has almost been my own defiance to not give in just yet. Recently my focus has been on getting things done around the house, like the massive amount of wood I had ready for cutting up. I have just been in to much pain to bear it. That too was depressing.

Looking back now I have been in a horrendous period of depression. I trained myself in the mirror to not show how I felt. To smile even when things were against me. The hardest part in all of this has been holding my head up and maintaining my decency, my hope, and my faith. Yet I believe in it all God has had his hand on my life! You see if you just have faith, it’s not enough. That’s like having a ship on the sea out of the harbour. How can you have faith if that faith you have is not anchored to hope. If you make hope your anchor to faith you will carry on.

This morning I got up at 4.50am because I so wanted to be out in the world and see the sun rise. I was disappointed this morning but Saturdays sunrise was awesome so I had seen it but ya can’t be greedy in life can you. My girls enjoyed the beach.

So my message to you today, yes you. Is to say. Hold on, keep on keeping on. Grip hard to what you know makes sense. Never let go of your hope even through your tears hold on to your hope, that is the anchor to your faith! That lion king moment comes to mind. “You are more than what you have become” you are only being told you can’t because you can. I was nearly a 42″ waist it’s taken an amazing amount of determination to get into my 36″ Levi’s. But I want you to know, if I can, you can.

God bless you all

Life’s worth living!

Mark

PS You won’t achieve anything if you don’t set foot on the journey. I could not tie my laces I was that fat. I can now.

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Instagram
@fonzymark
Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share
with others, if it meant something to you, it will to some
one else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post!
Will you?
Copyright ©2019

Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.

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I am healed!

27 Saturday Jul 2019

Posted by fonzandcancer in blassing, Cancer, depression, dogs, Hope, Love, Suicide

≈ 18 Comments

Tags

attitude, destiny, encouragement, forgiveness, healed, jesus, life, survived

First let me start by saying that, you have been awesome. You have followed my journey, supported me and loved me through the very hardest times in my life. I am so grateful to you.

YOU ARE WHAT YOU SAY YOU ARE!

Having a bit of a shake up in my life, in a time of blessing not cursing! We (family) were promised many years ago when I was 24 that

“the lord will restore the years the locusts have eaten. “

FAITH!

Believe me it’s been harder than hard to hold onto my faith whilst my body has been reconstructed, by chemo and the most horrible treatments known to man. My best friends on this planet have never left me like the shallower folk that said they were there for us but never showed us any action. Yet surely it is only God that makes good on his promises. Only God will never let us down. I can now tell you I have felt like Job. Like I have been tested over and over again always looking for positivity all of the time. Which I can tell you is draining in itself when your not leading your life walking next to him that knows more than we do.

It’s time to turn our backs on that which holds us back, including being fat, Negativity, and anything born of hate or discord.

My dogs are called Faith and Lily Hope. These names are not an accidents, hey they are God instances. I have been held back by listening to things of the body. My pain has stopped me from looking into the distance. Pain is debilitating, distracting and destroys days making you feel desperate. Yet through all the negativity I have held onto my faith for dear life. Yes sometimes that’s meant my dog Faith instead of anything born of the spirit!

No one can turn around and tell me there is no God, that Jesus is just a man that (just) walked the earth! Jesus was born of God, lived as God and died. He then rose again that we as sinners would be born again and never experience what He’ll has to offer. Because we have been saved by his blood, he rose again that we may know a fullness of life. I can’t tell you how free I feel since my nerve pain left. It really was a “pick up your mat and walk” moment.

So celebrate with me, but I also have a question to ask.

“Do you think I should start another blog? Or continue with this one”?

Have a blessed day

Mark

Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.

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Did you know depression is a gift!

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Posted by fonzandcancer in Cancer, dogs, Hope, Stress, Suicide, Winner

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

depression, destiny, encouragement, friends, Hodgkins, love

Hi, time to share with you about mental health. I want to share with you my findings in life. How depression affects you, How it can affect you if you let it! As I sat there talking to my friend. Imagine Will hunting. That’s how it is in therapy, I dig in all the time. I refuse to take down my armour. I am impervious! I am stronger than it!

Overcoming depression is about believing it will be replaced, that there will be light, but you have to pick up the torch! The thing that’s the hardest in the battle against depression is to do the thing that it is stopping you doing (walking the dog, taking something round to a friend, choosing to give in, rather than walk in nature) depression if you let it will help you do one thing. It helps you look up. Lately I have heard voices

“your not good enough”

“your not strong enough”

“Your not successful”

People that are depressed have lost something in their life.

Did you know pain is depression or success.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE! God showed me that today. That in weakness is when God is strong. ” so you have to be weak to find strength!

Depression is essential for someone that wants to help others. The lessons I have learnt today are miraculous. I have cried many tears today.

Suicide is a permanent solution to something temporary. I am struggling so much right now. But there is never going to be a view unless you spend time climbing.

It’s impossible to know what happiness is unless you have felt sadness. Routine, exercise, doing the opposite to what depression tells you to be. Pain is a great thief in my life! Yet I stand put on my coat and walk my dogs anyway! My pain will still be there if I do or don’t do. So I get out there and do things, I let myself see the trees, smell the air. See people’s hearts, allow yourself times of vulnerability . Like I did today!

Guys darkness is hard!

Commitment to using my pain to build my character, and finding a greater meaning to my pain. Maybe then I could become useful to others.

We are given 5 tools in this life along with air and water we are what we are. Yet it’s down to our persistence of teaching ourselves when we find ourselves in the state people call depression.

Our consistent thoughts we think and the consistent things we believe is what we become. If you know depression, then I guarantee you know what happiness is! But I want you to know, that having your head in your hands will not help you beat depression. Accept what you cannot change, but change your habits.

Do you know that your brain is a record of things that’s happened, you wake up everyday in the past!

CHANGE IT!

Do the opposite to what depression wants you to be. This is not a way of finding happiness today, but it’s a way of teaching yourself that your past does not define you!

If you keep looking at the cause, then you will always have a low mood. The cause is in the past. So the only way to move forwards is to change the way you move forwards and the only way you can do that is by becoming happy. Trust me! Becoming happy is what will help you overcome depression!

If you don’t want cancer again you have to change the way you live. I am training myself to do the opposite to the habits formed by my regular appearances of depression. Because after all it’s how we respond that matters!

Enjoy being different! But also remember it will pass and your not defined by your thoughts, you can change them. Your defined by what you choose to do.

Thank God for Jesus!

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram

@fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share

with others, if it meant something to you, it will to some

one else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post!

Will you?

Copyright ©2018

Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.

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Forgiving myself

25 Sunday Nov 2018

Posted by fonzandcancer in Cancer

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

Abu Dhabi, attitude, ego, encouragement, forgiveness, help, hope, love, struggle, survived

Seems a strange thing to say, but there are 5 steps in removing my huge ego. Well probably 6. Earlier this week I was so hurt reading that someone had been given an opportunity speak and I was not even considered. It got me thinking. What’s wrong with me, that what I had done wrong. What was in the way, what could I do to help other people by talking to them. Then I started thinking, what makes me so special that someone would want to use me to speak anyway. Who am I anyway. I went down this spiral of self condemnation and by the time I was finished I was so low and disheartened I did not want to see anyone. Communicate with anyone or even think that there was anything positive I can do in/on this planet.

I have a lump in my throat writing this.

As I wallowed in self pity I then had to get a grip of my self at some point. This morning (my dads 79th birthday) I started to think of things maybe I needed to get rid of that maybe in the way of me blessing people in that way. My hope in the future is that I would like to stand in front of people and encourage them that they maybe even would want to hear what I had to say. It made me think this sentence “who am I anyway, that people would want to hear what I have to say) so arrogant maybe.

When your in pain, chronic pain like mine. You constantly (I mean that, it never ever stops) all you think about is how to stop it. How to live moments where you don’t feel pain anymore. Of course that’s included sentences like. “Just die, your of no use with pain anyway” sorry for my honesty. I need to be honest with myself here. This is NOT about anyone else. You must know that really I could not be any lower right now, I don’t work and you have a lot of time to think when you don’t work. Yet I do a lot in the home except working. I get the shopping, find wood to keep warm look after outside the house and many other things at home. All of which I do with my wife in mind.

Yet I am feeling that there is something that I need to get rid of in my life, something in the way. I have been feeling ostracised by my siblings, but surely change starts with someone. So I did a search on google this morning. Ways to improve myself. That’s when I realised that it’s perhaps me that’s the problem. That I am not kind enough, not honest enough. To proud maybe even my Ego had gotten that big that people could not actually see who I was. The people I love don’t ask after me, yet my wife said to me this morning. That she had watched a programme that reenforced to her that she could never ask how I was to often. That’s so true, if you truly know someone you will ask after them. You will want the best for them, but I realised one thing this morning. I don’t even know who I am.

Yes I am kind, yes I always want the best for people. But how can I help others by standing in front of them if I can’t even help myself. Am I always going to blame pain, is pain really that serious that it stops me seeing the wood for the trees. Cancer has ruined much of who I am. But it’s time to stand, it’s time to look at who I am and REMOVE the bits that are in the way. That took me to the google search.

HOW DO I REMOVE MY EGO

I am not the Wikipedia on everything. So where do I start.

The Huffington post listed 5 steps.

1. Practice forgiveness and Letting go .

2 practice honesty and being open.

3 surrender my need for control.

4 Enjoy silent moments with yourself.

5 Practice Gratitude.

Well this are the 5 things I am going to be working on going forwards. Number 3 is for sure the hardest for me. Except I am going to add a number 6.

6 Think less about me and more about others.

Have a great day, and remember it’s not necessarily someone else’s fault. It could be a change you make in you that makes the difference.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram

@fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share

with others, if it meant something to you, it will to some

one else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post!

Will you?

Copyright ©2018

Dad, I am sorry my ego stopped me from seeing you yesterday, but I hope you have a great day today, and Happy Birthday. Thanks for all the times we do share together.

Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.

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Former military member honours veterans at Halifax business

10 Saturday Nov 2018

Posted by fonzandcancer in Cancer

≈ 3 Comments

Former military member honours veterans at Halifax business

Former military member honours veterans at Halifax business
— Read on globalnews.ca/news/4651595/former-military-member-honours-veterans/

Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.

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Holding back the tears

09 Friday Nov 2018

Posted by fonzandcancer in Cancer, depression, Hope, Love, Oppertunity, Pets, Stress, Suicide, Winner, Wiriting

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

attitude, become, desire, destiny, encouragement, energy, faith, new, Peace, strength, survived, tears

I have just been talking to our friend who comes every week and makes living easier. She a beautiful soul and someone I can cry in front of; and many times I have. She reminded me this morning of why we have tears, the purpose behind them. I always say that a tear is pain we have within us being released in a natural way. When people grieve there are tears, when we have pain there are tears. Yet so many are used to holding them back. Do we think that holding back tears is a good thing. Why is it a good thing? So others can’t see weakness maybe. So you continue to look strong in others eyes. Well that’s a pride thing, to even worry about what someone else things can be pride. It is also something that means we are considering others which is a good thing so we should not confuse the two.

I remember when I was having I C E chemo to prepare me for my transplant how painful it was. Yet tears back then were just releasing the pain given to me by that nasty chemo. I had to break it down into sections. Sections that meant I had small goals that I achieved even through the tears there could be victory. Small goals are important. Tears seem never ending when dealing with grief sometimes. I liken it to a tunnel, a dark black tunnel that seems to have consumed you. But as I am sat here writing this blog on Friday 9th November 12.09pm. I have realised something. That even a hole has to have an end, be it the other side or the bottom of it. A tunnel has an end, in fact often there is light at the end. It leads me to think about the real purpose of a tear. While we know tears cleanse our bodies, releasing chemicals that are not required. Do they not also cleanse our soul.

You know that the bible even teaches us as Jesus talked to his disciples, preparing them for his death. Saying

“Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds”

This verse has been translated over and over again. Some miss it’s purpose. But in honesty it’s Jesus way of teaching us that what we want to be, who we are proud of. Has to die, or we will not be the blessing to others that we hope to be.

Tears are symbolic of pain being released from our bodies and are an integral part for us to reach the end of our journey. Tears are NOT a sign of weakness they are your bodies way of dealing with things. It’s a natural way for us to gain strength in the future. Actually I would go so far as to say the purpose of this blog is to help you realise that tears have a purpose. They are there for our benefit. Letting tears go, helps us to heal. They really do, each one is a part of your pain smashing to the ground and never to return. Allowing yourself time to grieve over what ever it is that’s changed in your life is very important.

‘

Did you know that cancer carers and suffers suffer grief. Do you know why? It’s because part of you is no longer going to be you in the future. So some hold back the tears, it’s their way of holding onto who we are not what we will become. I can’t believe that I am having to look at new ways of being mobile as the pain in my hips does not ever disappear. It takes a colossal amount of pain killers just to get we up and out the house. Yet even in that there are positives to find. But let’s not digress.

While the old you maybe gone, while someone you love maybe gone. While the life you knew maybe different, our bodies empathise and wants you to come to that important place of acceptance .

What you were will never be who you become anyway, so tears are a good thing, they pave the way for the new you that you will become.

The one thing cancer treatment does do for us, is give us a goal. It gives us a series of days that make us cry, yet when the tears subside. We will see sunshine on a different day, we will leave the journey behind and although the affects of treatment are not pleasant. The fact we have life still remains. Allow yourself to cry, allow your body to deal with what you are going through. It’s important for you to be able to empathise with others, having gone through the tunnel others that face it will want to know about your experiences.

Tears actually lead to strength. The question is after reading this blog post will you “hold back the tears” or will you allow yourself to be the new you that you are becoming?

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Instagram
@fonzymark
Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share
with others, if it meant something to you, it will to some
one else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post!
Will you?
Copyright ©2018

Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.

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The acceptance bridge.

31 Wednesday Oct 2018

Posted by fonzandcancer in Cancer, depression, Hope, Love, Oppertunity, Paris, Stress, Wiriting

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

achieve, desire, destiny, encouragement, future, games, hope, invictus, life, love, pressure, survived, transplant

Wow, the meeting I had today; maybe I will tell you about ‘the man in the mirror ‘ one day. But hey not to fast I need you to know about some other things first. Not least being a blog I must write called ‘Perspective’. Maybe a tool that’s used to get to the acceptance bridge. Imagine if you will, a bridge in front of you, the bridge leads to somewhere else. Yet your struggling to cross it, medication, pain, hurt and stubbornness are in the way along with, hospital visits, more medicine, distraction, feelings of failure, and thoughts of giving up. Wanting to be who we were bing the biggest and deepest crevasse between you and the bridge are there for a reason.

You see, people see the bridge as, a bridge to far. The last effort and what would remain of yourself when you get to the other side. Well that was me anyway, and I can’t see that I am much different to anyone else. The acceptance bridge has worry, uncertainty, despair and fear on the bridge all of which we need to face and move away from. Yet some of what’s on the bridge will be on the other side also. Crossing the bridge is a very pivotal point in our lives. People always want what we were and not what we will become. Yet what we become has many gifts. Perseverance, experience, hope, love, and faithfulness. There are many more gifts across the other side to. We will have been honed, moulder and made into a quite possibly better you. Your experiences will have taught you how to be strong. That tears are ok, that it’s ITS OK TO NOT BE OK that many things we were are ok to be in the past.

What we hope for, what we dream of. The things we experience in our lives help us to be able to Empathise with others where if we had not been where we were. Then how could we possibly be able to.

The acceptance bridge is special and no bridge is the same they are all unique. No one one can walk over your bridge. ONLY YOU! No one can take your place it’s your bridge made up of your life, your choices and things you have beaten conquered and helped people through. You are amazing that’s for sure, but I want you to believe with me that crossing the bridge means you will be empowered to do things in the future. Your experience is what will help you across.

The bridge means this, Accepting who you were and looking forwards to who you are and will become. Because once you accept, what was. That enduring that in your life has meant you are a new you and a better you because of what you were. What’s the point in regret anyway. Let’s look forwards to what lies ahead on the other side of the bridge. Embrace it and move forwards knowing you past is not a part of your future but it has helped you become who you are today.

Accept who you were and allow yourself to look back, but only to see how far you have come. You may not be as strong physically. But your stronger in other ways because of the choices others made and you so you have become the diamond you are. Walk across the acceptance bridge and embrace who you have become.

stop trying to be who you were, and accept who you are. God accepts you, so why won’t you. Life is Gods gift to you, what you do with it is your gift to God.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Instagram
@fonzymark
Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share
with others, if it meant something to you, it will to some
one else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post!
Will you?
Copyright ©2018

Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.

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We each have what each other needs.

24 Wednesday Oct 2018

Posted by fonzandcancer in Cancer, Cancer stories, Chemothearopy, depression, dogs, Hope, Love, Oppertunity, Pets, Scotland, Suicide, Wiriting

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

destiny, encouragement, facebook, friends, games, invictus, love, loved, transplant, treatment

How can watching the Invictus games not inspire us. How can we not be inspired by people’s stories. As you have probably realised I have been watching the Invictus games. It made me realise that we need each other. Not needing anyone are thoughts of my distant past. I don’t know what would have happened to me had it not been for my wife. But also those that are honest with me. It’s 06.33 and I have been up for 2 hours. So I thought I would finish this blog post as it feels like quite an important one to me.

You have heard me repeat my late mother in laws sentence.

“It’s not what we do when someone is gone that matters, it’s what we did in their lives that truly matters.” Norma Winn

What ever it is that you did for someone can have a lasting impact on their lives, yet you thought it was just a passing quip, or something you said thoughtfully. The words from Norma always flick around in my head adding myself “that it’s better to do something than nothing” you have a lot to give as a person. I without doubt have been left with a disability because of my treatment. I could just shrivel up and give up, but I don’t because I know how important it is to keep giving to people. We are only here once and I feel it’s a privilege to even have had a chance to live on this planet. How grateful I am to be able to give something to someone. Even if it’s just something said to encourage them.

People get inspired by what people do. I like to do little things like tell someone how gorgeous they are. The other day I was in a supermarket and I saw a lady struggling to get something off the top shelf. I took it off for her and put it in her hand. (She was about 80.) as I put it in her hand I told her how beautiful she was, whilst holding her hand. A tear rolled down her cheek and I kissed her on that cheek and carried on with my shopping. I saw her again as she was paying for her food. She was talking about me, saying how happy she was that I talked to her.

You see you don’t know where someone is at in their lives. I believe if you think it then you should do it. Think it you should say it. Think it you should be it. Now this is not the same for everyone because I know someone who if he said everything that was in their head. There would be more problems than before. The good things we think are what we need to.

You have what someone else needs. You are someone’s tonic, someone’s life line even. Life’s a privilege, and it’s something we have been given as a gift. That’s Gods gift to us. ‘Life’ but our gift to him is what we do with it. I like to encourage people with mine. What do you do with yours?

Next time you think you should say or do something, do that. You thought it for a reason. You have what someone else needs. But will you give it to them?

Have a great day

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Instagram
@fonzymark
Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share
with others, if it meant something to you, it will to some
one else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post!
Will you?
Copyright ©2018

Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.

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Empathy

17 Wednesday Oct 2018

Posted by fonzandcancer in Cancer, Cancer stories, Christmas, depression, Holiday, Hope, Love, Mountains, Oppertunity, Stress, Suicide, Wiriting

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

attitude, awareness, cancer, destiny, encouragement, energy, friends, perspective, struggle, survived, transplant

You ever thought about Empathy, how important a word it is. Or even what it’s true meaning is? It’s something that people do not use; unless they have experienced something similar to another. Unless we have been through something similar to someone else, we don’t have the gift of empathy. We can only sympathise with someone. Although it’s a great thing to be able to sympathise with someone’s situation, we can all do it. We all know how to sympathise. Yet to be able to Empathise is but a special gift.

To empathise we have to have worn the t shirt, to have walked the steps someone else has and have experienced a similar journey. That’s why our Cancer stories group on Facebook is so special. We all have walked in each other’s shoes and know how hard it is to walk those steps. A story comes to my mind that’s very off piste or shall we say a different topic all together. Yet those that understand will empathise with me.

Oh how I remember so well being in a service (church service) in okehampton Devon. When the welsh pastor David, with great passion and vigour. Put his shoes in the middle of the isle. He had been getting criticised for his methods. But you know how, behind his back. People were slating him. So he asked everybody in the church if they would like to step into his shoes, that if they thought they could do a better job. That he would step down and let someone else. No one empathised and no one stepped in his shoes. He carried on for many years later.

An example of how empathy can help someone in their life is, something we have endured personally. We can put our arm around the person knowing that we can encourage them that they can. That although difficult we know how hard it is. But we have come out of the other side. It’s like that with this blog. That I empathise with many people on many different levels because of the terrible bone marrow transplant I have had. I understand the risks and the euphoria at being able to beat the beast they call cancer. That although I was given weeks to live that I still have life. Sad then that people don’t use the opportunity to use the special gift of Empathy.

People say, “It happened for a reason” what a load of rubbish that I got cancer for a reason. But wait, don’t I always find a positive somewhere? Well the positive is Empathy because unless you have suffered something yourself then how can you empathise with another. It’s a special gift and maybe just maybe you can give someone hope because of your experiences. Yes Cancer or any disease is terrible. My wife lost both her parents to cancer at 59 and 63. Yet she is able to empathise with people that lose their parents to early. Life’s a gift and so are our experiences if we choose to shift our perspective.

Pistyll Rhaeadr near Llangynog north wales.

You think it’s a small trickle till you see the bigger picture.

See it’s not what’s happened or happening to us that has to change. It’s how we look at it in our own minds that truly matters. Using the things that have made us miserable to give someone else hope. That they may learn that there is light at the end of their tunnel like there was in yours. You see even in death there is something to bless someone with. So I am writing this that you may see a different way of thinking, in the hope that others will be blessed because of you. Because of what you have endured someone will find blessing, hope and comfort. Just because you have empathised with another. Such a special gift, yet so many people leave the wrapping on and the beautiful bow and never open the box of Empathy because it hurts so much. Yet when it’s opened, so much can be given to someone else because of you.

Amazing don’t you think. So next time you have the opportunity. What will you do? Empathise, or sympathise?

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Instagram
@fonzymark
Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share
with others, if it meant something to you, it will to some
one else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post!
Will you?
Copyright ©2018

Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.

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ITS OK TO NOT BE OK

13 Saturday Oct 2018

Posted by fonzandcancer in Cancer, depression, Hope, Love, Pets, Stress, Suicide, Wiriting

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

anxiety, BTS, cancer, carer, carers, depression, encouragement, health, honest, love, mental health, mind, wellbeing

It’s ok to be not ok

This Turkey holiday has taught me a valuable lesson. One that will change the course of my life for ever. A seemingly throw away statement from a friend to me. Leaning on our balcony having a friendly chat to my dear friend Johnny. It’s the biggest lie we tell and the most often. Why is it that our response to “Are you alright” is “Yea ok thanks”when we are so not. It’s funny because not very long ago I gave an honest answer to my day when he asked if I was ok. We talked about how I was feeling, my dad and Mom (I spell it like that) to.

True friends want to know how you truly feel when they ask that question. Do we not do them an injustice by just saying that your fine when your not? Should we not give them more respect. Should we not say “Actually I am not” to be honest with ourselves aswell as others.

You all know I suffer greatly with nerve pain and find it hard just to communicate sometimes. Pain can be really debilitating and can seriously affect all aspects of life. It’s ok to not be ok, is a new way of thinking for me. Many hours out of a day I am not ok. But yet now I find I am able to deal with it purely by my new way of thinking, compliments to my dear friend that is always so honest with me.

He continued by saying that he accepts me warts and all and does not want to change me. only for me to realise that its ok to Not be ok. Its a revalation to me and will help me mentally in the future. I think there are only a few pwople i can say that i am not ok to and thats ok. Yet oh so many people just think your winging and want you to be positive all the time.

Well i am sorry, its not possible and just to be able to say “actually i am having a bad day” is release in itself, to feel valued enough that your honest with a person is priceless. its nice to ask someone how they are but, the response is of great value also. why cant we just be honest, and say it how it really is. i guess being able to do that means you have a true friend, someone that truly cares. How much balue does that hold for you, or do you actually cover up how you feel and are not even hoest with yourself.

I love to be honest with our Cancer stories group, because we empathise with each other on different levels. That brings me onto tomorrows post which is on the word Empathy. Not everyone can empathise and that to is a special gift. So what will you choose to be next time your asked if your ok? Will you be honest or just cover up as normal. I think being able to be honest with yourself, and with others is a very special way to be.

Do you?

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Instagram
@fonzymark
Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share
with others, if it meant something to you, it will to some
one else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post!
Will you?

Copyright ©2018

Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.

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Be kind to yourself.

12 Friday Oct 2018

Posted by fonzandcancer in Cancer, Cancer stories, depression, Hope, Love, Oppertunity, Relationships, Stress, Suicide, Wiriting

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

destiny, encouragement, energy, faith, friends, hope, life, Oscar Wilde, relentless, struggle, survived, trending, twitter

Do you ever do that? Worry about what someone thinks of you, then that changes the course of your day. Your month or even your year. Words are cheap, yet they can have a lasting effect on someone’s life. What you say to yourself can be unhealthy, even damaging to yourself. Maybe you value another’s opinion to highly, you stop doing what you want to do because your worried about what someone thinks of you.

“To love oneself ” whote Oscar Wilde “is the beginning of a life long romance!”

Well I am going to stop chastising myself, stop changing my direction because someone’s opinion is different to mine. My opinion matters. But more than that, being restricted by someone else’s standards. Because you don’t want them to see you. Putting on a face all the time, and not allowing myself the moments of ‘not being ok’ that sometimes your not happy and the constant pain does indeed sleigh the giant from time to time. That it’s ok to feel something, to feel something means an incredible thing. It means you have something that can’t be bought, you can’t see it, you can’t borrow it, or be given it. Yet something more powerful than you would believe.

PASSiON!

If you feel it you have a drive others don’t, yet passion comes from integrity and doing what you believe to be 100% honest and true. No non. You either have passion or you don’t. You can’t do anything to get it. It’s a gift.

So in short I owe it to myself and everyone who will read this. To be myself, and to be ok with not being ok. That people actually like the normal mark. The mark that has integrity. (Thanks Rob Fischbeck)

What ever it is you do, don’t cut your nose off to spite your face. Embrace what you may learn and move forwards being kind and gentle towards yourself. People will like the real you, I know I have tried it many times.

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram

@fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share

with others, if it meant something to you, it will to some

one

else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright ©2018

Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.

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Believe in you!!

02 Tuesday Oct 2018

Posted by fonzandcancer in Cancer, Hope, Love

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

believe hope yourself passion

Today I want to talk about you; to explain that there is nothing to stop you from achieving your goal. The only person that stands in the way of you achieving what you want to is YOU. Yet you have the ability to achieve what you want or love to do. Your not the best you can be, but you can be a better you today than you were yesterday. So this is how I live each day with my pain.

I start each day with something positive. I don’t focus on the things that that hinder me like my chronic nerve pain that wants everyday to make me negative. I focus on the amazing parts of the world that are incredible. No morning when I wake do I speak to myself about what is seen as not possible. My focus is on hope faith and what is possible. Sometimes when we look at the big picture like beating cancer, we have to go back to basics and encourage ourselves with the smaller things that we CAN do. Can’t is an evil word. Yet in that word there is positive sentiments which is can. Focusing on what we can do brings us to a place of peace. When we remind ourselves of those things we can do. Even such small things as being able to breath, communicate and spread happiness is a special gift. Believing in yourself starts with positivity and the focus of what can be done.

What ever it is in this world you want to get out of it. Is possible. Do what you love and focus first on what is possible rather than the situation you find yourself in. Believe in yourself and put one step forward towards your goal. No journey can be started unless we first make the first step. A friend of mine in my lowest point sent me the new song.

Believe in yourself, bin what the world would have you believe is not possible. Believe in yourself and keep moving forwards. Make your first step and believe in today. You can be what ever you want to be today. But you first need to believe in yourself. You can! Months to live without treatment they said. That was 8 years ago and although my chronic pain holds me back I still am doing what I can do. Writing this to you and maybe, just maybe this post helps you to believe in you. That you will start your journey today.

When I travelled Australia and New Zealand I had to make steps. Sell my house and make my journey. I have memories that no one can take away from me because I got on that plane. But remember it’s one day at a time and we have to believe that we can. Hope and faith are priceless. So are you! Your amazing and you can do what ever it is you believe you can do. I was feeling so low that I wanted to end my life, but just having my friend send me this song helped me to believe in myself and keep doing despite my difficulties. Your special Believe it! I do!

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram

@fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share

with others, if it meant something to you, it will to some

one

else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright ©2018

Even though we may find it hard!

Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.

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Giving up is not an option. 

06 Wednesday Jun 2018

Posted by fonzandcancer in Cancer

≈ Leave a comment

via Giving up is not an option. 

Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.

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Today is your last day.

28 Monday May 2018

Posted by fonzandcancer in Cancer

≈ Leave a comment

via Today is your last day.

Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.

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You can win

17 Thursday May 2018

Posted by fonzandcancer in Cancer

≈ Leave a comment

3 years today, in isolation having my transplant. If your having a bad day read this, I guarantee it won’t be as bad after you have read it.

fonzandcancer blogging to encourage.

I will never forget the rocky film 4 when Adrian says to Rocky as he is about to fight the Russian. I cried when she said the words “YOU CANT WIN”  that’s what the world would have me believe sat in this room in isolation. This is now day 4 and day 5 is approaching. The strength I am getting from the Cancer stories is amazing, and amazing how much strength others are getting from it to. You to could be part of it as this cruel bone marrow transplant takes place.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/159599874395653

I remember as a small boy, I really wanted a bike but I was only 4. My prayer to God was “I believe I will get a bike thank you God for my bike” I got that bike with solid tyres a few days later. Another prayer I prayed was “Lord I know why you made the…

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Resonance

05 Saturday May 2018

Posted by fonzandcancer in Cancer

≈ Leave a comment

via Resonance

Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.

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Depression.

04 Friday May 2018

Posted by fonzandcancer in Cancer, Cancer stories, Chemothearopy, depression, dogs, Holiday, Hope, Love, Mountains, Oppertunity, Pets, Puppies, Stress, Suicide, Wiriting

≈ 19 Comments

Tags

cancer, Compassion, depression, encouragement, hope, life, live, love, together

Today’s not a day I want to repeat, the feelings of giving up and jumping off the planet are all consuming. No one can see in our heads and if there was a door I would say. Please don’t open it. My mental health it has to be said is not right, the list is long as to why. But I guess it’s normal for people, and I won’t be the first to feel like life’s not worth it. Thank God for my dogs that follow me absolutely everywhere. Accepted without judgement. There are things going on in my life and finding a lump in my body has just messed with my Melon. I am struggling really badly right now. The sun is shining, yet all I can see is darkness and negativity.

Normally my blog posts are to encourage others, but today I am weak. Feeling low in worth and feel like jumping. I am holding on but only just, is there anyone out there with experience. That they have been where I am maybe.

I guess it’s all normal, but I don’t like it and I don’t like life either. I feel like I am on a raft in the middle of the sea and all I can see is a storm. Pain is a constant and while I have made in roads to be a good influence on others right now I could happily just leave the planet with no regrets.

I feel worthless right now, almost like I am in the way of others. I have become depressed with the constant stabbing pain. I can’t escape it’s there always. When I go to sleep, in my dreams and when I wake. It’s like I have been buried in pain and it grinds away your happiness.

Why would someone who has fought so hard to live end up with a want to die? Only driving in my TVR does the pain disappear. You can’t do that all the time.

Maybe I have written how I feel just for me,

but it’s here for the world to see.

How long will it be for me,

To live a life with warmth and know no pain.

It’s my 50th yr and it does not even feel like it’s something to celebrate. How strange after such a long fight. Then the thoughts of what I have found, what is it. Please not again, surly not again.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

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Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share

with others, if it meant something to you, it will to some

one

else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

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Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.

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Time for yourself.

16 Friday Feb 2018

Posted by fonzandcancer in Cancer

≈ 12 Comments

Tags

desire, destiny, encouragement, energy, faith, hope, loved, mo, PTSD, struggle

Man life’s hard sometimes, you think you have got through the hardest part and your faced with another curve ball. I know because I have had one thrown at me to. Infact I am working it out right now. The thing is, it comes down to the people you trust, can rely on and love. Sometimes those people are not family, sometimes the people we most trust are people that we love. Who we love are the family we choose. Don’t beat yourself up if the people you love the most are not your blood family. That’s ok, it’s ok to be you.

Sometimes the right thing to do is what you think it is. Right now, I am taking a break for my own well-being. But sometimes we need to take time out to be the best we possibly can be, that’s not a bad thing at all. What matters is to be the best, not ok or good but great or the best we can be.

For me it’s time to deal with the issues that Pain has created, what’s happened to me and the road to recovery. The constant pain, creates dark places, some people may think me weak. Well that’s possibly true right now, for sure I need time to heal and I hope this will help other people one day. But how can that road be walked on until I have recovered from the problems caused by treatment. How can I stand and encourage other people if I have not walked many different paths. I see the issues I face right now as steps, you can’t look at the whole journey, it’s to much for the mind to handle and to much for the body.

Phycologists talk about elephants. They ask the question. “If you were to eat an elephant how would you do it”? Of course the answer is not all at once, but one piece at a time. It’s not possible to eat an elephant all at once and for sure will take a long time to eat which helps to lower expectations on how quickly you will heal. This coming from someone that gets frustrated at how long it takes to get served in KFC, that filter coffee is not instant and extensions take months to complete. I can’t stand waiting, yet the longer you wait the better the job will be. Cutting corners is not the way.

It’s like tyres on a car, the more they wear, the less efficient they become. We as people live in a ‘get it now’ society. We have credit cards, and new cars are easy to get. If of course you can afford the monthly payments.

Relationships with people take time, and if we don’t make time then we will never improve that relationship. People you love I guarantee you make time for, and the people you don’t understand I would hazard a guess you spend next to no time with that person at all. Yet time is the most important thing in life, and it’s something non of us know how much time we have. So it’s best to use what we have, not sit and wish things were different. How will they be if no effort is made. Someone said something to me last week. When I talked to the person about time, that they had been busy and surely rest would be order of the day. The response was ‘time is for filling’ how right that is. The time we do have we must use or lose it.

Time is like land, we can’t make any more of it. There is so much, and it’s up to us what we do with it.

What we do has an effect, be it immediately or in years to come. I don’t really want to go into what’s going on with me, but I do want to say that I am being kind to myself. I am making time for me to get well and overcome with tools that will help others in the future. As youngsters we called each other names and one we used to use as kids is tool! “What a tool”you have heard it said right. But have you any idea of how long it takes to make one. It’s actually a long process and the better the tool the longer it takes.

Time for you helps you to recharge and become a better you, it’s vital. We are all facing something, but the key is to make sure we help ourselves the best we can. That we are kind to ourselves so we can be a better us in the future. Beating ourselves up, is not a great use of time. But we do sometimes need time on the hills to reevaluate what’s important in life and who. Time for you makes you a better you.

So shortly me and the girls are off to see my parents at Brock bottom. A beautiful place, where my dogs can enjoy the water. Time is a healer, it’s necessary and for sure is an opportunity. Without time how can a relationship be nurtured. Nurture who’s special to you, don’t waste your time with people who speak badly of you or don’t give you time. The people that love you won’t make excuses not to see you, they will make reasons to see you. Be kind to yourself and others.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram

@fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share

with others, if it meant something to you, it will to some

one

else. All images are from a Google search. Or my olwn, taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright ©2018

Trust rely on and love.

Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.

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Valentine’s Day.

13 Tuesday Feb 2018

Posted by fonzandcancer in Cancer, Hope, Love, Oppertunity, Winner, Wiriting

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

choclates, faith, flowers, gift, guilt, love, loved, partner, together, twitter, valentines

Here is my opinion of this made up bullshit day. At this time of year people feel guilted into buying presents for their loved ones. Which is a complete farse. It was created by a card company that wanted to boost profitability after the Christmas period. The original story is about valentine, the story ends with two people becoming involved romantically. Someone somewhere decided to make it another day to make the willing followers give cash and buy their lovers a card, treat, or a present.

It’s aimed at young people, and I personally feel, that if you can’t wait till the day after to cash in on the cheap chocolates then there is something wrong. Your partner should be encouraging you not to spend money on the said Day. Rather know and feel secure that you are indeed loved. That a made up day does not change anything. Of course I sent cards when I was young, when I was single and perhaps it’s a great way to get the attention of someone you like.

When I was single, I would always without fail go out on the 14th Feb. After all you were almost guaranteed that anyone out would be single. As the people who were in a relationship would be sat at a table somewhere gazing at each other. It is for sure a great night to go out if you want to higher the odds of a yes. Unless of course you are a serial Tinder swiper, then you will be in your pjs on the sofa giving your thumb a workout. Wondering who deserves a DM.

If you love someone, you will buy flowers spontaneously, say you love each other for no reason. Kiss, and hug for no reason. But wait, it is for a reason. It’s because you love each other and and not because a card company says you should. What a load of codswallop that is, don’t you think?

Use your head and buy flowers when they are cheap, and take advantage of the cheap chocs after the fake day, they call Valentine’s Day. As I say, if your trying to attract someone it’s a great opportunity not to be missed. But that is it.

Don’t be drawn in and feel your relationship depends on it. If it does the chances are you are in a needy relationship. NOT a loving one.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

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Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share

with others, if it meant something to you, it will to someone

else. All images are from a Google search. Or my olwn, taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright ©2018

Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.

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Divorced people are amongst the most lonely in the world.

11 Sunday Feb 2018

Posted by fonzandcancer in Cancer, Cancer stories, Chemothearopy, Christmas, depression, dogs, Holiday, Hope, London, Love, Oppertunity, Pets, Puppies, Stress, Suicide, Winner, Wiriting

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

cancer, encouragement, faith, Families, family, friends, happiness, health, Hodgkins, hope, life, love, survivor

A divorce is like a death, it is for sure the same and certainly no one will understand unless they know the hurt that’s felt, when someone they love dies. I would like to think that all people marry because they love each other and believe that to be case in most marriages. It certainly was for me, yes that’s right I was married before as was my now wife.

When someone gets divorced, they carry hurt, Pain, and a feeling of failure. In my own experience it’s hard to see people siding with one or the other. No one truly knows what’s gone on except the people involved. Yet all that the people experiencing the separation yarn is what they got married for. They yearn love, and they look for a way to get rid of the pain. That’s why you see so many people drinking to excess, taking drugs and perhaps even ending their own life because they don’t feel it’s worth living anymore. I know how all that feels, the desire to not feel the hurt anymore.

You hear friend say that they are looking forwards to their own life changing events, a baby, marriage, a christening, you want to feel happy for them so so bad. But you just feel like the loneliest person in the room, everyone does not understand you. They just see what they thing we should be doing. To love someone is the most beautiful thing, yet in divorce it so quickly turns to hate. Everyone seems to see solutions where all you want is for the Pain to go away. The talking stops and the thought that you ever loved that person just seems so inconceivable.

I mean what is it we all want in life?

I would say that there is only one thing on this earth that has ultimate importance. It’s a concoction that we all crave to meet this end goal. That life gives us that one thing. It comes through, faith and love. Consideration for others, friendship. It comes through giving, through laughter and being around people that care about you and don’t want something from you. It comes through hugs, from having a good family. Yet someone going through divorce will not feel it, they have so much more to overcome before becoming happy. That’s it isn’t it, that we all aim to be happy in life and to find that balance has a high value. If not the most important thing in life is to be happy.

Everyone of us can be that small part of that concoction for some happiness. My challenge to you today, is that you can be a part for someone’s happiness. That someone who is enduring a divorce or a loss needs our love not our sympathy. They need our arm around them to tell them that they are important, they are loved and have value.

I think the key is not to judge what has happened, or who’s at fault rather love the person. Remembering that rejection which is what divorce is, can result in devastating consequences. Not to long ago a distant friend of mine (our electrician) committed suicide because the divorce was so messy. Going round to see him with some ring donuts and phone calls to lift him. We’re not enough, or maybe there just we’re not enough people that helped to lift him up. I cared about him and did my best to help him to come through. But ultimately he was not happy, that was missing in his life.

Our girls puppies

Happiness was not a part of his life, rejection took over and Gary could cope no more. That’s what we need to nurture in life. The situations and people that bring us happiness, and the feelings that go with that. Happiness is a priceless gift and one to be cherished.

The point of this blog is to remind you of what’s important, happiness. Bathe in it and enjoy it like the new morning sun. Happiness is peace, and peace is acceptance. Those 3 things are without doubt a recipe for a disease and stress free life. I have experienced the latter and for sure seek happiness over anything that’s going to rob me of it. If it’s not going to bring some joy in the end I tend to steer away from it. Life’s to short that’s for sure.

Have a great week.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram

@fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share with others, if it meant something to you, it will to someone

else. All images are from a Google search. Or my olwn, taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright ©2018

Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.

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Moving on. Dogs do.

29 Monday Jan 2018

Posted by fonzandcancer in Cancer, Cancer stories, depression, dogs, Hope, Love, Oppertunity, Pets, Puppies, Stress, Suicide, Wiriting

≈ 12 Comments

Tags

attitude, awareness, cancer, desire, destiny, encouragement, facebook, faith, gift, happiness, health, moveon, twitter

Hey guys, sorry I have not written in a while. I have been having my own experience in real life as apposed to in the social spotlight. I have been leading about dogs and am thinking the more I think about it my place is to work with dogs and to learn more about our relationships with them. One thing I have learnt from dogs perhaps through a friends dog aswell as my own experience. That is that dogs don’t let their past affect their future with the right guidance. I would like personally to learn more about helping people to have better relationships with their dogs so that both can enjoy a better life.

I don’t think a dog forgets that they were badly treated. I think they remember and move on from it even though it’s part of their life.

I know people expect me to move on from my cancer journey, and some may think it’s bizarre that it’s still affecting me to this day. Well like a dog, I can’t forget it, and find it hard to move on as the pain does not help me to forget all the treatment, procedures, and chemicals that I have had put into my body. Chronic pain is a part of my life and while I hoped it would disappear. It hasn’t. So guess what. I have to move on. I need to allow the past to help me rather than hinder me. To allow my past to shape me but not control me.

In the future I would dearly love to be able to stand in front of people and encourage them that they can overcome the situations that they have found themselves in, Be it disease, abuse, or a victim of another situation. Most people I guess use God, but one thing I detest are people that just pray and then don’t follow it up with action. It’s like someone sending an email and not following it up with a phone call. “I have sent an email, I am just waiting for a reply” is Not taking control of your destiny.

If you apply for a job, why just send a C.V. Why would you not follow it up with a phone call to the recipient. I tell you now, you will be a stand out candidate for the position as you will have spoken to your employer. It’s about taking some kind of control over your own destiny. Following your words with action.

TAKE CONTROL

In my opinion the biggest problem with dogs behaviour is humans ability to react and know what to do, and what not to do. My dogs are not allowed to jump up at people when they enter our house, and incidentally they are not allowed in our house without wiping their feet. They don’t get fed unless they sit. Oh they also bow and pray before they eat to. They are not allowed on the sofa unless there is a cover on it and they are invited. I choose that our dogs will be pub dogs, dogs we can take to visit others.

Is it wrong that we expect our dogs to have standards, that we don’t want children to be knocked down due to their bad behaviour. No of course not, their has to be boundaries, or children will get hurt. People will get hurt, and for sure we don’t want that.

My point is that, I am finding it hard to move on from my cancer. But now the time, although I will for sure not stop allowing my experience to shape my future. But I need to stop letting it dominate my life, and start allowing it to shape my future. My future is without cancer, and there are for sure people that have helped me without even knowing it. Babies die, children and young people have their lives taken. For sure those facts make me totally grateful to be in my 50th year. A mile stone that needs to be celebrated rather than anticipating another relapse. You can achieve what ever you choose to do, myself personally I have found it difficult to live with Pain rather than moving on from having Pain. Rather to get to the point of acceptance like in my last blog. I know we are all a work in progress and I for sure want to progress, rather than not moving on. So thank you all of you that are friends on here, people that have helped me along the way.

drayo308

Walt

Michael33

Liz

Many many more.

But now the time for me to move on and maybe my blog will take a different turn, but fonzandcancer will always be a blog and maybe even a book one day. Time to move on but learn from my past.

Bless you all, and thank you for reading. It means the world.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram

@fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.

Everything you read aure better based on my own experipence and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Pleople share with others, if it meant something too you it will to someone

else. All images are from a Google search. Or my olwn, taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright ©2018

Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.

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Garlic Salve

16 Tuesday Jan 2018

Posted by fonzandcancer in Cancer

≈ 1 Comment

https://nativesojourner.wordpress.com/2018/01/14/garlic-salve/

Anything that helps us keep cancer away can only be a good thing right.

This is good stuff.

Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.

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Acceptance.

13 Saturday Jan 2018

Posted by fonzandcancer in Cancer

≈ 17 Comments

How’s your Christmas been? Have you had a good New Years celebrations? It’s not all been good for us, although we have been reminded what’s truly important for our health. Today I have found myself feeling low, due to my expectations. As I drove back from my shopping trip yesterday I found myself depressed at the situation. As what I hoped for had not met my expectations. You see I am the type of person that wants to give, a person that wants to provide and encourage people to enjoy what they do with us. I was driving slowly, well below the speed limit as it’s not good for me to drive to my mood despite the power of the car I drive.

As I drove I found myself praying, that possibly I might find some answers as the day went on. It’s surprising where answers come from in our lives, that when we need them and ask for them they do indeed come. M

My last blog post was about having higher standards, that something may have been right at a certain point in time, but that there is nothing wrong with having a higher standard in the future. We have lived in places close to the city in the past, noisy neighbours are one of my pet hates. People that do things without a thought for other people, yet I have had to question my standards. That maybe I am being to fussy or possibly petty about certain things. That possibly I should lower my standards, that people’s reactions or attitudes are not mine, and just because someone decides to behave in a certain way. How could I stop that from annoying me so much. Why would I even let someone else’s actions affect my life, this was my prayer that I would find a way to overcome others actions and for it not to affect me, or possibly infect my own standards.

It does not matter where you live on this planet, unless your budget is multi millions of pounds, you will always have a compromise. But how do you stop that from annoying you and affecting your state of mind. I don’t know about the rest of the world only how I feel and how I respond to things. You see, I have a do mentality. Not a do later mentality. I have been called ‘the dream maker’ before now. Because for sure I love, oh so dearly love to make people happy. But not so much feel happy but to make them feel like their dream has been fulfilled.

Yet I found myself upset, a consequence it would seem of me having a certain standard.

I put my shopping down on the side and our friend who always comes on a Friday; asked if I was ok. I could not say yes and explained how I was feeling and how frustrated I felt. That I could not shake how I felt off. I was shocked at her response. “I was in cloud cookoo land she said. No one will live up to your standards, no one one in life should expect someone to. Instead we should just love what someone chooses to be. Unconditional love you might think, otherwise known as ‘Agape’

To accept what I can’t control is a new way of living for me, it’s different and requires change on my part. My blog that your reading has always been there to encourage others, yet I find myself every time I write being encouraged myself. But this post is particularly life changing. Because it means acceptance, acceptance of a situation and another’s actions.

People think I am the black sheep of our family, and possibly even a scape goat. But that’s not my fault, what is my fault is not accepting what I cannot change. I have found myself trying to change opinions, instead of accepting what people do. It’s caused me great turmoil in my life but for sure feel that my new way I will now learn of acceptance, and not trying to change what’s outside of my control will give me peace. Rest and possibly even lower my stress levels. Perhaps even lengthening my life. It makes me wonder how many other parts of my life I will be able to introduce this into. After all my dogs just accept me, they love me for who I am. They don’t want me to change, but I wonder if they would have a better life living a life of acceptance.

“Be the person your dog thinks you are”

Jesus loves us just the way we are, but to much to let us stay that way. Do you love yourself enough to change the way you deal with things in your mind. I know I do, and I am very pleased I have a friend that feels she can be honest with me.

Because from now on, I will accept what I cannot change. I will love where I can, and if people don’t like my honesty it’s quite obviously their problem and not mine. I am from now on accept another’s opinion, and not try to change it. Why is it important for people to see my point of view anyway. Others around us will only be happy when they accept what someone else chooses to do. Even if that is unforgiveness. Acceptance is part of loving, where it says in 1 Corinthians 13 about what love is. “Bearing no record of wrong” as a parent you have far more responsibilities in this area. So now it’s time to move on, leave the judgments behind and accept that we can’t change other people’s choices only our own. Acceptance means a willingness to accept a difficult situation that you are unable to change. What’s the point in trying to change what is not your choice.

It feels liberating!

Have a great weekend

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram

@fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.

Everything you read aure better based on my own experipence and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Pleople share with others, if it meant something too you it will to someone

else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright ©2018

Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.

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You’re an EAGLE… Believe…

12 Friday Jan 2018

Posted by fonzandcancer in Cancer

≈ 1 Comment

https://bellepapillon247.wordpress.com/2018/01/10/youre-an-eagle-believe/

This is similar to what I write. But this is perfect.

Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.

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I am not defined by Cancer

09 Tuesday Jan 2018

Posted by fonzandcancer in Cancer

≈ Leave a comment

via I am not defined by Cancer

Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.

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Higher your standards.

31 Sunday Dec 2017

Posted by fonzandcancer in Cancer, Cancer stories, depression, dogs, Hope, Love, Pets, Puppies, Relationships, Stress, Suicide, Winner, Wiriting

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

achieve, attitude, desire, encouragement, facebook, happy new year, health, help, hope, love, motivation, twitter, Writing

2017!

What Has that meant to you? Are you a better person at the end of 2017 than at the beginning? As you reflect on your year, have you had a good effect on the world. Or have you gone through the year just paying the bills going to work, to find you owe a little less on your mortgage than you did in 2016. Are you happy to step or do you want to stride. You know neither is wrong right? You know that what you choose to do is ok and that your choices are not wrong. Just different to everyone else’s.

What’s in your mind as you live each day? To get through it or to become a better you, to learn from the mistakes you may have made. Remember, if someone else thinks you made a mistake. Their standards maybe lower than yours, you may have a completely different way of thinking to them. Opinions are not wrong, because they are theirs and not yours.

I have made many mistakes this year, I have had personal struggles and for sure made efforts to be a better me. That means I may have moved on, or maybe had the same struggles over and over again because I have not highered my standards.

If we never higher our standards and always have the same ideas, we will just go round and round in the same circles as you always have done. At one point in my life I was happy with a tiny little stream, until the day I realised that it was as much work to look after a bigger pond than the tiny stream I had. We had a bridge, we still have the same bridge. It’s just that the area the fish have to swim in is a lot bigger. 5m long infact. Which actually is the exact length of the old one, it’s just it’s deeper and has a far bigger volume. We have fish in the new pond that were in the old one. But I like to think that they enjoy being in the bigger pond more than the small stream. We have moved forwards in my opinion, creating something better for the fish.

Because we have higher standards we are able to have bigger fish in there. It’s more enjoyable for us and hopefully more enjoyable for the fish also. I think quite possibly when we do have higher standards, that other people have a better time aswell. Yet my first stream was amazing, better than not having a stream right. So that’s my point. Doing something good is most certainly better than doing something bad. But what ever it is you do do, maybe it would be a good thing to improve on that in the future.

What you did this year may not have been bad, but for sure 2018 brings you new opportunities to be a better you. You have the chance to do something new, be someone better. To higher your standard is a special gift to the world and yourself. Yesterday will remain in history, yet today you have a chance to change your tomorrow.

My challenge to you is to be a better you than you were in 2018. I know that’s what I will do. I will exercise more, care more, love more and higher my standards. Will you?

Have a great 2018 and here’s to being better than we were, not accepting what we have become. But being a better us in 2018.

Happy new year everyone.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram

@fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.

Everything you read are better based on my own experipence and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Pleople share with others, if it meant something too you it will to someone

else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright ©2017

Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.

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Thank you,

24 Sunday Dec 2017

Posted by fonzandcancer in Cancer, Christmas, depression, Hope, Love

≈ 20 Comments

Tags

cancer, Christmas, facebook, faith, family, gift, hope, hospital, love, survived, survivor

Thank you all for being here, for your faithfulness in reading my posts in this blog. You all mean a lot to me. When I started this blog 2 years ago, I hoped that my writings would bless one person or perhaps even save a life. Well it’s done that and more, so why do I keep on writing? Because I am hungry for more people to be affected by positivity in cancer. That the choosing to do/write something makes a difference.

I always say to people, that doing something is so much more affective than just thinking about it. I think we can all say here that I do and don’t just talk about it. But yet I feel inspired because you read, because you reblog, like and comment on what I write. Many times like now I never know what words will be written and what order they will be written in. Many things have happened this year including the birth of Faiths puppies which has taught me so very much. That life’s precious and that there is no point in wasting this gift of life.

My advice this Christmas, don’t keep doing something if it makes you unhappy. Break free and be happy, even if your in a relationship where you don’t talk. Start talking, start saying nice things instead of making things worse. Say something nice even if you don’t feel like it, and appreciate what you have. Be happy for the haves, not the have nots. Because trust me where ever you are on the ladder of life, you will always have those choices.

Show respect to who ever it is that you meet, even if they are sat on the street. You can if you like do something for someone that did not expect it. Sometimes we don’t feel like doing, or loving even. But I say do it anyway. Bust open that thief called pride and start to appreciate what you have not the have nots. We all have and have not. So this Christmas I want to say thank you. Just that you are you, and that you encourage me to carry on by reading.

So merry Christmas to you and your family and I hope you all have an amazing time. God bless you all and thank you for all that share my thoughts to, it means a lot.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram

@fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.

Everything you read are better based on my own experipence and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Pleapse share with others, if it meant something tou you it owill to someone

else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright ©2017

Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.

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If only we all loved like dogs.

23 Saturday Dec 2017

Posted by fonzandcancer in Cancer, depression, dogs, Holiday, Hope, Love, Oppertunity, Pets, Puppies, Relationships, Wiriting

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

bone, dogs, encouragement, energy, facebook, friends, given, life, love, twitter

What’s the importance of Love?. It’s a bizarre life. I mean are you important or is what you do THE most important. What you you do, is so much more important than the importance of who you are. Good people will be surrounded by good people. I once said to a friend, “it’s not about how many friends we have, it’s the quality of the people you call friends that matters”

The world is a complicated place if we make it that way. Yet, if we just did our best for everyone we have in our lives. It becomes not so much about us but what we do that matters the most. What matters is what we do with ourselves, blessing someone with what we have makes what we have important to someone.

It brings us to the story of the rich man and the poor old lady. They both gave at the church collection. One gave a seemingly large amount, yet compared to his wealth it was a drop in the ocean. The older lady gave ALL that she had. There was nothing more to give. Yet it seemed like she had been stingy compared to the rich man.

The point of that story today is to help you to realise, that when someone suffers what they give may seem small, but they may have given you everything they had. It’s difficult for some people to give a lot of their time, when it’s so painful to move. But when someone gives all they have, that’s such a special gift.

When it comes to love, what’s the point in loving if it’s not with your whole heart. My dogs never ever seem to let up in the love they show. It’s always everything they want to give me. Not a bit, then run off. They smother us with kisses and love never is it to much trouble, if only we were like that. That we love people anyway. Wouldn’t the world be a fabulous place.

To love someone without condition is a precious gift. What I have I give, because what’s the point in enjoying it to myself when I could be sharing.

Don’t hold back this Christmas period, life has shown me that life’s precious and what you do for someone else could really make a difference in our lives and more importantly theirs.

Have a great Christmas everyone, and enjoy your holiday. More importantly enjoy giving.

Have a great 23rd of December.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram

@fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.

Everything you read are better based on my own experipence and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Pleapse share with others, if it meant something tou you it owill to someone

else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright ©2017

Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.

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Unheard Incantations: A Collaborative Poem

21 Thursday Dec 2017

Posted by fonzandcancer in Cancer

≈ 1 Comment

This is awesome.

Sarah Doughty

The following is a collaborative effort by myself and eight other writers. It’s always a pleasure to bring our minds together. Enjoy!

The words we cannot say
Will be wept
Into silence between us (CER)

Breathe deep, dear love;
Be still with me
Listen to my heartstrings
A song meant just for you (KMA)

Each tear
An eloquent elegy
To tortured truths (AP)

Each note played
On a hand carved lute
Strung with strips
Of my soul (JWL)

Your breathless aura
Beats in time
Undulating ululation
With my exhaled psyche (AP)

Intertwined, tangled,
Unified: whole
Healed. (JWL)

Yet with hearts torn open
Bleeding out the notes of our song
You turned from me (ME)

I am fire
Drowning
In desire
Weep
I beg
Save me (1W-W)

Fetch me an instrument,
For the untrained ear
Is soothed by that
Which it cannot comprehend. (LEL)

Not everything is black and white.
For…

View original post 83 more words

Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.

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I feel like saying goodbye.

18 Monday Dec 2017

Posted by fonzandcancer in Cancer, Cancer stories, depression, Hope, Love, Mountains, Oppertunity, Pets, Stress, Wiriting

≈ 36 Comments

Tags

BBC, cancer, desire, encouragement, hope, mo, motivation, personality, survived, together

I can honestly say if I knew life would be like this that I would not have had a transplant at all. I have been patient and although the doctors said I will be better after a 2 year period. I am not. Everyday I do my very best to be upbeat and helpful and encouraging to people. Yet I am sat here feeling sad with a lump in my throat. It feels unfair to go through so much and to give with your whole heart yet still feel like this. I know for sure other people will feel the same way but are afraid to be honest. Well I am if one thing, not afraid, everyday I stand when my body says no, everyday I smile when my body says cry. But some days like today, I have to allow myself the honesty to myself. Everyday I do my best yo lift others, but it’s not possible when I can’t (yup I said it) even lift myself. My spirit is torn and my mind wonders how long I can carry on feeling like this. I keep myself busy so as the pain depletes, you can’t feel pain whilst focused on something else.

Well pain, today you win. You have dragged me to the depths I did not feel possible. I have very strong pain killers, OxyContin and gabapentin. Sometimes I need two of each just to complete a day. What people’s opinions of me don’t seem to matter anymore. My dignity has been taken and another’s opinion has near no effect on me these days. What did I have the transplant for? To render me unable, to make me depressed. Well I fight both of those each day, aside of that encouraging others that they can as well. Because if I can you can right.

Yet although my honesty is unrivalled here, I still have a small smoulder that needs fanning to make the fire. So now even though all is seemingly against me! I will look for positives where I am unable to see. Not even the birds sing today, but like Job. I will rejoice anyway, I will say thank you for what has been given to me. Life where I should have non, warmth that I should not feel. Acceptance of what has been taken away and gratefulness for what I still have. This is a true battle today, one I must be grateful to have. Because without a battle, how can you win. Giving up means defeat, slumping because of the torment of pain. But NO I will not, I will win the battle and understand one day why it had to be won. Today I have the victory, because Jesus paid the price.

So with a thankful heart, and a grateful soul. I say thank you lord for the prickles, because without the prickles there would be no blackberries.

I hope you win your battle today to.

Smile at someone, you could help them find some sunshine.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram

@fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.

Everything you read are better based on my own experipence and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Pleapse share with others, if it meant something tou you it owill to someone

else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright ©2017

Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.

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Don’t let anyone steal your dream!

10 Sunday Dec 2017

Posted by fonzandcancer in Cancer, depression, Hope, Love, Oppertunity, Pets, Puppies, Relationships, Stress, Suicide

≈ 23 Comments

Tags

can, desire, Do, encouragement, facebook, faith, foundations, GOD, health, hope, life, Lord'sPrayer, love, meaning, rises, somebody, survived, survivor, twitter, world

Dear life, thank you for the doubters. Thank you for the people that thought I can’t. Thank you for the people that want to discourage me to remain in a box they see is fit for me. Thank you for the people that think a way is ok for them, because they are the people that make me want to be something. They are the people that make me want to and not try to. People talk to me about what they want to do, and I rarely hear people talk about what they will do.

One thing I love to do in my life is to encourage other people. For many years I have considered what to do with my life, what business to be involved in. Yet, it’s always been staring me in the face. It’s not about a product, or bad circumstances. It’s about my state of mind, about what I am am determined to do. When you are determined to achieve something for sure you will achieve it. It got me thinking about the things I have been determined to get, the things that I have been determined to get but did not achieve. Negative? For sure not. It also hit me thinking about the things I wanted to do and which of those I achieved. Then the things I have been told in my life I can and can’t achieve.

Is life really about circumstances? Does disease really have any right what so ever to take away your dreams. Why have you not got the car you want, why are you not in the house you want to be in. The watch you want is still in the shop and you are making do with one that’s perfunctory. You want to be in a detached house yet you live in a semi. You hate your train journey to work, your job is not what you want. You feel depressed, your in a life that you feel your being treated unfairly or that you have been given a bad hand that life has not treated you right. Who on earth has the right to do that, why do you do that.

I love it personally when people tell me “you can’t” because I am very stubborn which makes me want to prove people wrong. It makes me want to say. “Really, well I don’t feel the same way” I weight trained 3 times a week for 2 1/2 years. NOTHING would stop me. Why was that though? When we bought our second house together, it HAD to be detached. When we bought our dog car it had to be a certain car, yet a few years previous I made do. Although maybe we allowed our circumstances to dictate to us what that car would be.

It’s time for change, but how what will that involve. A job? An online business? Well I have my ideas, I have the solution and so do you. It’s staring you in the face as well. That you and only you have the answer.

Raise your standards, because you will always get what you HAVE to have. Never in the world have people had what they want in their mind. YOU have the opportunity to achieve, there is no possibility here. There is a reality here, that you have right in front of you. Commitment to the end goal will bring an achievement. Doing something over and over and over and over again. What ever that is that your committed to you WILL achieve it. 7 years ago I became passionate about getting well. I did not just want to be well again though, I wanted to be cured. To rise up once again and to help others to believe that they can also have a better day tomorrow. Yet I believe that what matters the most is TODAY, not the next day. Get rid of the people in your life that hold you back. Show me a man that said I could not beat cancer, I will tell you now they are no longer in my life. Get rid of anything that holds you back, it does not matter what that is.

“Who has the right to stop you” nobody! Yet you stop you all the time because your standards are to low.

I want you to know today, that what you have failed at in the past does not make you a failure. What makes you a failure is not getting up again and perusing your passion. Perusing your dreams. Dreams are normally more than what you have, unobtainable. But I want to challenge you today to stand up and say “I am going to fulfil my dreams” see you are the problem, that your thinking, your mind what you choose to be. Will actually be.

Einstein said “imagination is more important than knowledge”

What do you want? To be influenced, or to be a person that influences others? That’s my question to you.

I have been frozen, I have been held back by others opinions. You have the power to be who ever you want to be, you have the power to bring into your life what ever it is that you want in your life. There are a lot of complainers, excuse makers. People that don’t mind settling for what they have, people that let things happen to them.

No ones journey is easy, but you do have the chance each day to ‘Become’ you have the choice to think what you think. Success is a journey that starts with what you choose to think about. You really think you can be the best if you don’t do anything about it. I want you to believe today, that this one sentence is true. “That anything is possible”

If you don’t try then where is your hope, hope is something that becomes faith. I started writing a book some time ago, I for sure have been plagued with stumbling blocks in my life, but no more than someone else has. What’s wrong with me is that I have listened to some negativity in my life. That my thoughts that I have chosen have led to some of my failings. We have all had bad things happen to us, but your thoughts, hope, belief, and getting back up that matters. True failure is not trying at all.

Don’t get in line because other people are, dare to make your own line. The one you dream of.. I guess this blog could be deemed ‘the law of attraction’ get rid of the people who hold you back and start your own line, be a line maker not a person that’s happy to que. my wife will read this after she has watched her Derby day. What’s funny about that is that she found herself queuing on 2 occasions today. Both times she chose to leave that que and come home to enjoy home instead.

You are what you think you are and my challenge to you is, that choose not to talk yourself out of your dreams like I have for 30 years. That you stand and act on your dreams. That you drop the negatives. You have learnt the fear of failure like I have. Well today I am am starting a new line, a line where I am going to stop listening to the negatives even if they come from myself.

You have a lot to offer the world, you also have a lot to give to yourself. Step out of the boxes the world puts you in, because your an amazing person with more to offer than you know. What people say about you, does NOT have to become your reality.

Do what you love, just do that. That’s your new line. You deserve to find your purpose! You don’t deserve to hear the play it safe speech. Because non of us will get out of this alive and that’s a fact, so we might aswell do what we love right? Keep stepping forwards, keep being positive. Keep practicing, keep believing in your dreams because they are there for a reason.

Write 5 reasons why you won’t give up! Make them your reasons to carry on.

Have a great week,

I look forwards to hearing you comments.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram

@fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.

Everything you read are better based on my own experipence and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage yoou. Pleapse share with others, if it meant something tou you it owill to someone

else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright ©2017

Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.

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Why ya gotta owe something, to get something.

29 Wednesday Nov 2017

Posted by fonzandcancer in Cancer, depression, dogs, Hope, Love, Mountains, Oppertunity, Relationships, Winner

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

awareness, encouragement, faith, friends, given, happiness, hope, meaning, owe, partner, stories, together, weakness

It’s how people see things that are not saved, they think that if someone gives to them that they must owe them something. Wow that sentence hit home for me, because I like to give yet I receive aswell. It’s a hard lesson for someone that’s a giver to receive graciously. For sure I have made many mistakes in my life, some catastofic. (Spelling I would like to say is catastrofic but I can’t spell it.)

No ones perfect! But yet a really valuable lesson is to learn that to be given to is as beautiful as the person receiving something from you. Yet we hope the person would receive the gift and accept you want nothing in return. I have learnt in life that people want to give to me and I take away that pleasure for them sometimes. I love the feeling I get when I give to someone and even a small thing can mean so much to someone.

There begins the line from another Rocky movie

Que Rocky Balboa accent!

“Friends don’t owe, friends do because they wanna do”

Those nurses saved my life, didn’t they? Or was it the whole thing, the transplant, my faith, my friends? Or was it not the giving of all the people that were in the whole process. I digress.

The point is that giving in its self is a gift, that humility in being given to and allowing that person the beauty of the feeling we all get when we give. I believe that it’s as important as giving itself. It’s for sure something I am learning and stepping forwards to get better at it. You know I still don’t think many people get why I blog and get nothing for it. I see people going to work and earning while I blog to encourage others yet for no reward. Every time I pick up this I pad I want to use it to help people. So am I actually one of the people that feel like I owe, because the treatment saved my life? Well the answer is possibly a bit, but that’s only because I want people who are going to face what i did, gain from my experience possibly. That’s why I give.

We are all blessed in our own way, maybe although I don’t reread what I have written out loud very well (so I am told) but I am able to a small degree at least. Help people to find the strength to carry on, to find a way when they feel there is no way. To articulate what’s happened in my life to encourage other people. You can’t do much when your isolated so I did what I could do with what I had in my hands.

My friends I must conclude by saying, if someone wants to give to you. Allow them to feel good about it, allow them yo enjoy their giving. But also if you want to give don’t be afraid of rejection, be happy you are able or in the position to give. Don’t take people for granted, recognise the good things about them. But most of all. You ain’t gotta owe someone, to give something to someone.

Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.

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Positivity changes lives.

28 Tuesday Nov 2017

Posted by fonzandcancer in Cancer, Cancer stories, Chemothearopy, depression, dogs, Hope, Love, Oppertunity, Puppies, Suicide

≈ 15 Comments

Tags

cancer, Christian, desire, encouragement, friends, GOD, Hodgkins, hope, Liverpool, Lord'sPrayer, love, marrow, memories, Peace, southport, survivor, weakness

I did a bit of a test yesterday, I was feeling low and I have to say depressed. I was sat at the table and almost felt there was no point to life. Yet, I have done things for people that have lifted their spirits yet mine were low, I was really down and was punishing myself for not being an,e to do things. That my wife is now the bread winner in our house because of cancer, I was low that my energy levels are still low, my pain is still high. All those things got a hold of me.

Then out of the blue my friend sent me a link, it was about hope and that if you let go of hope then what are you anchored to? Something else perhaps like fear, or helplessness. Self pity, anger. The bible teaches us that perfect love casts out all fear. That fear is a product of our own making. Then I started to realise that even if I didn’t have faith, I had named my dog Faith. Knowing that even if someone was looking after our baby that they to, while they had her would also have faith. I started to think about all the good things I had and the top two were Faith and hope. You can have no money, no possessions and yet still be blessed with Faith and hope.

So you all know I can’t have children or so I am told by the doctors, yet I always look around the house to child proof it for when we do have children. I have hope.

Faith is the substance of things hoped for. Heb 11-1

Now those of you that know me well, will know that when I beat cancer the first time that I bought a lab. We called her faith because I believed I would beat it, I hoped that it would be gone and I believed it would be gone. I want to go back to when I was 4 years old. My parents were poor and they could not afford a bike for me, they told me that if I hoped for a bike then I should pray for a bike and ask God for a bike. My hope for a bike was so much greater than my parents knew, that night I believed I would get a bike and told God I would like a red one please. Every night I prayed, and asked God for a red one. Then one day, someone told us about a bike my dad picked it up and I still remember seeing my red bike with solid tyres by the gorse bush in the back garden lent up against the outside toilet. You see to have faith you need hope.

I had hope I would beat cancer, which gave me faith. Which was the name of our dog. So effectively we always had faith, and we say her name everyday. Yet even with faith I still had to hear those words again. “You have cancer” yes that’s right a second time it came but this time things would be much worse. I would have to have a Bone marrow transplant.

I have to say my faith took a hit and I did become very low exhausted and felt ripped off somehow. Yet still in the back of my mind I had hope, hope that I would win. I started this blog and wrote as my first post.

“I am Mark a cancer fighter, and I will win”

I had hope, and after my treatment was finished I had a fertility test that told me I was infertile and would never have children. We would never get to call our daughter Lily over to us, never get to hold our baby and nurture him or her. If we had a boy he would be called Harry. So we chose a different path and faith had puppies and we kept one. We spent 7 weeks nurturing those pups, letting them go one after the other.

Barney,

Reggie,

Hope,

Bonnie,

Trevor,

They all had their own little personalities and for sure made friendships in the box. If you want to see more of the antics in the box we used #BigPuppyBox

We kept one of the puppies and the one we kept we named Hope, although my wife did change her name to Lily Hope we have Faith and hope in our home and believe it’s a special way to live.

What ever happens in your life, never let go of hope because things hoped for is the substance of faith. With faith in what we don’t understand we can rise above our circumstances.

So yesterday I wrote a positive post. I wrote that I had beaten cancer and that I was 2 1/2 years out of transplant and that if I could you could. I stayed anchored to hope but I chose to do that. We now have a 9 month old puppy called Lily Hope, now we always have hope. But you can have hope also, you just have to chose it over fear. Because does not have a positive ending where even in the darkness hope can bring light and help you have faith that you will win.

What ever you choose I hope, you choose faith. Because that’s where a new beginning starts. Here is a picture of Faith and Hope as I write.

My state of depression was lifted because I chose hope. What will you choose dear friends?

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram

@fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.

Everything you read are better based on my own experipence and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Pleapse share with others, if it meant something tou you it owill to someone

else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright ©2017

Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.

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I am not!

21 Tuesday Nov 2017

Posted by fonzandcancer in Cancer, Cancer stories, Chemothearopy, depression, Hope, Love, Suicide, Wiriting

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

family, friends, help, life, love, together, transplant, will have never seen them

Even that is a creation. You can choose the “I will be” creation but that’s your choice. It’s not about you being happy or God being happy with you.

It’s about the you you are, being positive about you. If the feelings not good, let it go! People say things like

“why me” but why not you?

“Life’s so hard” it is for everyone!

“I wish I could” you can, there is a way.

Life is as hard as we expect it to be, I mean I can talk right, suffering more than I should because of cancer? Or maybe cancer made me realise how alive I am. Pain is a reminder of that everyday. A reminder cancer could not win, or a reminder I am alive. Oh of course I get my bad days, but then you can’t go though life with just all good days, or all bad days. You can’t have one without the other.

When we live life this way, nothing can bring us down for long periods. Because there is always something to look forward to. Pain is a reminder we are still winning. Reasons to do rather than excuses not to.

Living a grateful life is for sure a better way to live. We can’t have one without the other. A battery can’t work without a negative, and for sure you can’t have a positive without it. So a life being grateful for the negatives is far more useful.

Another one drives a duster…

are you grateful for the negatives?

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram

@fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.

Everything you read are better based on my own experipence and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Pleapse share with others, if it meant something tou you it owill to someone

else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright ©2017

Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.

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love

20 Monday Nov 2017

Posted by fonzandcancer in Cancer

≈ Leave a comment

via love

 

written some 2 1/2 years ago, for sure worth a read!

Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.

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A little #motivation #tuesday #bloggingtoencourage #s

14 Tuesday Nov 2017

Posted by fonzandcancer in Cancer

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via DO OR DO NOT, THERE IS NO TRY.

Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.

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You are what you say you are.

12 Sunday Nov 2017

Posted by fonzandcancer in Cancer, Cancer stories, Chemothearopy, depression, dogs, Holiday, Hope, Love, Oppertunity, Pets, Puppies, Relationships, Stress, Suicide, Winner, Wiriting

≈ 14 Comments

Tags

blessing, hope, live, marrow, meaning, will

For me I believe in blessings and curses, I believe what you say is what you will be or become, and that your words can go even deeper than that. How many times have you said it “I am useless” “I can’t” well I am with you, although I expect more from myself these days.

Having been faced with losing my life, I know everyday I am also faced with life itself. That the gift of life is so very precious and knowing that, that it’s important to make each day count all the more. That’s why I make a conscious effort to speak life into people’s life’s including my own. Say you can’t, you will be right. Because the universe heard you say it. Say you can and you will be equally right. Positivity is possible every single day. If positivity is something you choose, then it’s something that will happen in your life. Choose to gain for yourself and not give to others you will live a pointless life with no meaning and for sure you will not feel the beauty of giving.

The words you say, will work themselves out in the universe. Take me for instance, I said I had cancer once, I was 15 I knew no better. But I did indeed get cancer. Twice. Maybe I got it because I said I did anyway, or maybe I just got cancer!

Choose to say nice things to people, even with no money what so ever you can change a persons life. You can make a person feel good, and perhaps even help them to have a positive outcome where they may have previously not thought it possible. You have the ability to speak life into people’s lives. YOU have an opportunity to not only bless others but to bless yourself and your family but what you choose to say and do.

A person I have known for some years, was told that they were nothing, a failure, and someone no one would want to be with. Unattractive and many other demeaning words. It’s so so sad that people feel they have to be that way towards others. Seemingly to make themselves feel better, but I can assure you the person that spoke those words will have harmed themselves and the feeling of (making themselves feel good) will not have lasted or even happened.

You have a choice every second as to what you do with your life. To love, to hate. To give it to take. What ever you choose remember there is a consequence. Some consequences are good, not all are bad. What will you choose? That’s the question?

Fonz

Bless someone I dare ya.

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram

@fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.

Everything you read are better based on my own experipence and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Pleapse share with others, if it meant something tou you it owill to someone

else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright ©2017

Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.

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How far you have come.

01 Wednesday Nov 2017

Tags

encouragement, hope, internationalstressday, Stress

Some encouragement for you today.

Source: How far you have come.

Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.

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Posted by fonzandcancer | Filed under Cancer

≈ 3 Comments

Stress is a killer. Some helpful tips on stress relief. 

01 Wednesday Nov 2017

Posted by fonzandcancer in Cancer, Cancer stories, Chemothearopy, Christmas, depression, dogs, Holiday, Hope, Love, Oppertunity, Stress, Suicide, Wiriting

≈ 15 Comments

Tags

friends, internationalstressday, nationalstressawarenessday, nationalstressday, Stress, stressday

How are you doing today? Happy? I spoke to a guy today that has suffered with Depression all of his life, I won’t pretend to know what I am talking about or say I am an expert on the subject. Because for sure that’s not true, but what I can tell you how I have dealt with things. I know that when you shake a bottle of pop, then take the top off it goes absolutley everywhere. It’s the same with stress, I think personally that Anxiety and stress are in the same family and both CAN lead to a state of depression. Although I don’t understand fully the medical state of depression there are many thoughts I would like to talk about in this blog, and share my own experiences and talk about how I overcame stress. 


My first bit of advice to anyone that is suffering from stress is to make sure that non of what you feel belongs to someone else. For example the way someone parks outside your house. That someone has not finished something, the way people live their lives. Anything that’s not yours to worry about is NOTHING to do with you. 

The garbage truck Talks about that and how you have enough problems of your own without worrying about what others do, it just fills your back pack up with other people’s junk! What’s the point. 
The only way to over come stress in my mind is to Let it go. Look at it like this, that it’s a pop bottle with the top on it. That with the top on the pressure can build up, like us if we have no outlet at all! The stress builds up and can lead to serious illness. Where as a bottle with no top on can be poured out any time you like and no pressure builds up at all. 


Credits: Lukas Gojda/Shutterstock

So I have to go back to the man in the Dacia Duster again reversing into a space next to me and I was getting bothered about it. Why, just let it go, it is after all nothing to do with me what so ever.  Unless of course he had hit our car, then I would have had to react appropriately.

There are many tools available to us, mindfulness, mental health  is a real issue. (I know here I go again right) cancer changed my life and helped me see a new world. Although sometimes I let little things others do affect my day I do want to be a better person tomorrow than I am today. I learnt that if I have tension that I needed an out let. I don’t have the energy of a normal man, so excercise although important was and is not a method that keeps me stress free. So I had to achieve a number of things that did not involve expending energy. I thought maybe writing and having something to think about would help. So I started a blog and challenged myself to write everyday for a whole year. 365 blogs in 1 year. I did that and you are now reading the blog that I stated writing. 


To overcome stress, you need another focus, I have a car that I take out when I need a smile putting on my face. I will go out for a drive just to hear the exhaust note. 

When I was at my junior school I used to sit in front of a fish tank and watch the fish. Mr Glover thought this was a punishment to me, but I loved it so used to be naughty to get out of his boring lessons. The led to me having a pond where I watch my fish and allow my heart rate to be lowered, thus relieving me of stress. I believe stress leads to anxiety and depression, and is a serious problem that people need pressure releases to overcome it. Boxing, cycling, walking, swimming, a hobby like my fish are, boating, hill climbing, canoeing, shooting, classic cars, writing, art, gardening, being part of a group that challenges you. All these things release stress, I used to dance, (badly) but it released stress. Weight training helps to, as does anything that keeps coming into your mind like a job that needs doing in the house. Get it done and it’s not an issue anymore, that can cause stress to the  longer it goes on for. 

​​

​One thing I realise is no one will help you if you don’t help yourself. But helping yourself makes you feel good as does helping others. You will need to find your own stress reliever, but having our dogs is a massive stress reliever as are cats. Our cat was put down a few weeks ago which was sad. But times a healer, our two dogs have given us a new perspective and always are with us. 

Laughter with friends is the same as the whistle on an old kettle, actually why don’t all Kettles whistle when they boil? But that whistle is what’s happening to your body when you laugh, you let off steam. Only yesterday I talked to a friend about how important it is to have something to look forwards to and something that will help you release pressure from your system. Even a stress ball can help,


Signs you are stressed

Stress can be revealed in many ways, here are a few. People that are stressed respond differently to people that are relaxed. They snap, take things personally. They clench their fists, they don’t hug their partner enough. Take it out on their partner rather than talking about it and hugging it out. Stressed people also don’t make their bed and have piles of things yo do in the house that have mounted up. I know because I have been, and have created all these problems myself. You will go to bed and still be arguing, you will drive to fast. For me there are lots of things that don’t cost money that can help with stress relief. Time with friends and a game of pool is really good for mental health aswell. Your not a failure if your stressed you have just gotten into a situation where you have taken to many things on. Don’t take on any more and get the jobs ticked off one at a time and don’t look at it all at once. If you look at the 101 jobs that need doing you will never do even just 1 job. So just do one at a time. Once one is done move onto the next ect ect.


Trust me ticking some boxes, and having a holiday to look forwards to. Will help your mind set. We got back from Scotland and booked another cottage for next year. 2 weeks away with our dogs, my mum n dad will come and my brother and sister in law with my nephew Zac. It will be fun and something ahead we will enjoy together.

Take care of each other, your important. More important than you know. Make sure you look each other in the eyes and hug. Hugging and loving others is a tremendous way to relive stress. Say sorry, even if it’s not your fault. I tell myself. You don’t have to be right, it takes effort to be stress free. But for sure a stress free life is far better than anxiety and depression. Releasing your stress will go a long way to helping yourself in other areas of your life.

Hugs to you all, wow and thanks for reading. Just think if just by sharing this you helped someone. Just a thought.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram

 @fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are better based on my own experipence and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Pleapse share with others, if it meant something tou you it owill to someone

 else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.
You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright

Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.

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It’s easy to forget, what family means.

30 Monday Oct 2017

Posted by fonzandcancer in Cancer

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

birthday, easy, Families, family, forget, hope, love

You know where you have come from, you know what you had growing up. But while we are children (in my case anyway) I used to have wants and used to regard some things unfair. Not being able to have that mars bar, that ice cream, that bag of sweets. My focus was on eating and what I could get. Yet we did not realise the sacrifices that were made in your family to have what you did have. 


It’s easy to forget how hard it was to get to the position you are in, and your children may never realise what you sacrificed to be where you are today. In my case it was later on in life when I realised what family is actually all about. That the love I had within me was being used the wrong way. That it was far more satisfying to give something to someone that needs it rather than to get something because you want it. Then I had a eureka moment, that that’s what love meant, that the word often used by my brother instead of “I love you” is the word family. That family although possibly not translated this way in the dictionary. Actually means sacrifice for each other. Giving because you love someone not always because we want to, but most certainly because we love that person. 


Working till 3 am, overcoming pain, smiling because every smile is a gift and a lift for someone in their life. It’s easy to forget what battles someone has faced to get to the very point they find themselves at. That their journey has had bumps in the road to. That doing for someone means that you are a part of something, that family means that you belong and that the efforts you have made are because you are in a family. We are all different that’s for sure but the feeling of love we have is there because of all that has been done in the past. The feeling a parent feels is overwhelming, you hear it said “a child only a parent could love” 


When me and my brother were growing up, I wanted to do and feel things how I thought I should. All children think they know best and I carried this on right up until my 40’s only the lessons in cancer taught me “you learn more when you listen”. Since then I have asked my parents many things and I have learnt much about them. My dad surprised me one day when he said he had made mistakes and asked me for forgiveness. 

Things have started to get a new perspective, losing a pet, loving a dog. They become family, and while some may say “it’s just a dog” you know they have never had a dog simply by calling him/her IT. I very much do my best to live a life where I love my dogs. Yes we have two. Labradors, but no children.  My wife and my dogs are our family, and it’s so nice to be a part of.


The word family means, unconditional love. It means sacrifice, it means going the next mile when you think you can’t. What my family is like is personal to me as yours is to you. But I will never forget in a low point in my life, my dad saying to me. “The Lord will restore the years the locusts have eaten” I could never see it before. Because to see it, dying to self was the most important.  Yet my wife and I will spend some time together in a cottage in Wales with my parents and our dogs really soon. I really look forwards to that, and don’t dread it at all.

That my wants were not the most important, that indeed what my wife needs is the most important. What my dad needs and mom needs are the most important. But I guess we all grow out of that immaturity, or is it just that the mars bar became a car. 


What I do know is that family is love, that encapsulated in the word family are many things that only your own immediate family know. The small things we do for each other are really what count. Not to count what was not done. That’s just a waste of time. All families have failings, but there are also some very beautiful things to be found in family. We just have to choose not to labour in what didn’t happen rather be grateful for what does happen. Family is precious, many say bloods thicker than water. But we also choose to love people that are the family we choose. 

So just take a moment to appreciate all that family means to you, be thankful for what you have. Because one thing is for sure, today is a gift so don’t waste it remembering your mars you never had. Remember all that was sacrificed so you could be you. It’s a wonderful life.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram

 @fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are better based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Pleapse share with others, if it meant something tou you it owill to someone

 else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.
You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright ©2017

W

Bless someone, by sharing. You never know who needs to read this.

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