It’s all about faith.

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This blog is about our dog, female called Faith. This is her.

  
The story leading up to buying Faith was quite a sad journey as I was so very close to death. I had to conquer stage 4a Hodgkin’s lymphoma.  I had been given weeks to live, months at best I may have seen Christmas and it was May 2011 when I was diagnosed. We were newly married crazy in love and passionate. We had just moved to our beautiful home in the country life was perfect.right up until that day I sat in front of the consultant, along with a student nurse and a few others in the room. I was in the chair holding a Nike cap with “just do it” written on it. The next moments changed us and our lives forever. The words “you have Cancer” are all I heard that day.

 
Faith was not even born then, but as I progressed through the horrendous process I had to have Faith, to believe I would win. To believe I would survive. Have Faith in myself and those around me for support. Faith in God that I would be made whole again. Life can be a tough old journey, people that were life long friends stopped talking to me, the same has happened again this time whilst fighting it. Sentences like “Iam here for you” are useless. “You know where we are” “chin up” just a few that are said by people that have quite obviously never had this amount of trauma. It’s not their fault, but not communicating with a Cancer suffer is just unforgivable and irritreavable. 

  
You find yourself in a lonely barren place, a place where each day is stepping into darkness. You quite literally have to have faith. Not like you do when you sit on a chair, believing it will hold you, when you sit on it. It’s like stepping into darkness without a torch. You need people around you, but you can’t cry out because your in the darkness. You forget who you have spoken to, forget what you need to do. You quite literally loose your mind. Your focus, and quite literally your life for a time.

You dig in so hard and achieve more than you ever thought you could.

So on getting into remission, I told My wife i wanted a dog. My brother already had a choc lab and I was very keen to have a lab. We agreed and we went to see our now friends, there was a few of them 8 in all. Here are some pix

   
  

   

Faith was the only puppy that seemed to have a mind of her own and an independence from the rest. An adventurer. She was a girl and this was the first time she saw her dad.

  
Why am I telling you all this, well it’s to encourage you really. If your thinking you should be supporting a Cancer sufferer then you really should. It’s not what you say, it’s what you do for a suffer that matters. We can’t waste our time with people that can’t be bothered we have to much to contend with. Our bodies riddled, our minds full of horrible things, and thoughts. The word is “love” them through it. They will not make right choices whilst having chemo it’s down to you to make the difference. 

We are fortunate to not only have actual Faith but true Faith as well. What I share with you is part of a journey that has made me who I am today. Have faith and step out into the darkness there is always an angel with if you have faith.

Fonz

@fonzmark

Instagram @dogrupher

@fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share

with others, if it meant something to you, it will to some

one else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post!

Will you?

Copyright ©2015

love

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belief, bible, concern, consideration, dogs, emothion, faith, fiendships, friendship, giving, insight, living, love, loved, lover, loving, quality, religeon, warm

I am writing a book, it’s been on the go for sometime. Unfortunately I keep making excuses not to pick it up again and really get stuck in. Not something I want to be doing in here anyway really. I am here to heal and beat Cancer. Today I am going to talk with about love made perfect. What perfect love is and how some of us aim for that goal and some just give up on it.

What does love mean to me? Love is unconditional, it just gives. It does not count how much something  costs, rather gives you overwealming joy to give love to someone everyday.

We have a dog she’s called faith

She is 1 of the rare pink nosed beasts. My brother also has a dog named coco Chanel, I call her hippo as she is allowed to gobble anything in her walk, after eight mints, cat food, treats often. Then we have this fine beast you see before you, well trained. Obedient and ball focused, she loves other dogs and does not try to dominate other dogs rather just love them. I think coco loves faith but not in quite the way that faith loves coco.

The love I am trying to exsplain though is nothing Like what coco thinks is love towards her cousin faith. These are 2 girls and coco has not realised that putting herself on faith is the right way, although it’s her way. Both girls need to be loved and are loved. Both are unconditional. Just I am not so sure both parties feel appreciative of the method. We all in life have different ways to show how we care. Show how we love.

“Love cures people,both the ones who give it, and the ones who receive it” Dr Karl Menninger

It’s clearly exsplained to us what love is in 1 Corinthians 13 of the bible (basic instruction before leaving earth) my friend Jimmy, sends me everyday some words of encouragement. He does not want anything in return. He gives freely his words as a gift from him to me. Which everyday has a knock on effect, and encourages me to write here blogs everyday.

As a Cancer suffer for some 7 years I have learned that we ( the sufferer ) can use this Cancer to benefit and encourage others. We are after all people on the same rd. the hardest people to love though are the ones that don’t see eye to eye with us. Love them anyway, try not to judge them. Just love them anyway. Don’t speak of it, bring them a coffee in the office every morning. Surprise them by being nice. I am always saying to my wife “it’s nice to be nice” be nice to that guy and love them without condition. The bible speaks of a statement that I follow.

  
 “You reap what you sow” I sow allot but reap sometimes. Cancer does not have to be a curse we can use it to bless others. In the heamatology ward at southport they have a drinks machine. When I go in for bloods ect I always go and speak to every person on the MDU and ask them if they need a coffee or tea. We Engadge in chatter if they like to. But no matter what happens I just love to see the smiles as my own heart gets warmed as well by doing such a menial thing. Finally perfect love CASTS out all fear. This is called agape. Google it and see for yourself.

I hope you have had a smile whilst reading this today, if you enjoyed it. Why not mail it to your friends to have a read. No one has passed my blogs on by mail as far as I am aware but I would appreciate it. Let’s make a domino effect of loving people today.

You in?

Mark

Super heroes

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what do you want to be? What drives you, what Spurs you on. Well do you mind if I attempt to tell you what drives me. my world has changed dramatically in the last 10 years. My ideas were always about chasing money, wealth to achieve happiness. I am a really keen F1 fan and I remember a quote from Ron Dennis which rings true in my mind “money is only a problem if you don’t have any” it’s so true. I was always striving for the next big thing, the next quick money making scheme , I was driven by greed. I was driven by what I had, not what I could give. 

As I have gotten older I realise the words of the Robbie Williams song “youth is wasted on the young”from the song eternity. It really is, because by the time you realise what’s real important in life, it’s to late and we are not young anymore. http://youtu.be/P0aZNEXdFCE

  
My life has been turned inside out and upside down, learningn to use this strong body and mind in many different ways over the years. Although never more so in this room, solitude in isolation has helped find what’s of real importance. I am sure I will never be annoyed by birds doings on my car again. I will enjoy the love of my family whole heartedly. I will never exspect again, only cherish and cultivate that which has become so very dear to me. “Life” 

 

Picture above will be me when I leave here, although it will take 3 months to get strong enough to be like this doggy.

I want to Dance like no one is watching again.

  
Never looking back just moving forwards to the goal that is the most very important.Have you figured it out yet? what the most important thing on earth we can process is? It’s a bit of a trick question really. Because it can’t be bought, you can’t gaze at it like my beutiful TVR.

  
It’s not something you can touch or hold, it’s so precious it’s priceless. What I speak of comes from within, it comes from contentment, it comes from being at peace however you find that. It comes from spiritual contentment and being able to just LET God.

I am classed by some kids of people we love, as a superhero, so one who is indestructible. I am not indistructble I am just as delicate as the next man. 1 thing I am though and that’s Happy. That’s the key to all these eliments put together. Happiness. See if we have that we are wealthy, rich and abounding with beauty with in us. Loving yourself is an amazing thing. I mean who’s gonna turn round and tell me or you that your not happy only you know that, only you know how you are inside.

  
Have a great day and I hope you to will become happy inside with your choices as opposed to striving for more which just makes us slaves. I want to help people with Cancer forever. I want to encourage people everyday to be better people. Giving fulfils us inside, giving warms our hearts like we have never know.

You gonna do that today? Give to someone and make you happy?

I hope so.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

Failure is not an option

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Somewhere somebody is laughing, somewhere somebody is falling In love, going to bed, dancing, making something, caring for someone. Somewhere there is love going on, being given unconditionally to someone. Your special, because you have the ability to do something positive. You have even if your body does not function as it should (like mine right now) to give something special to someone. 

As I think about Deanna the other side of the pond I hurt knowing she will have chemo today, but I also feel joy because somebody is looking after her. She will have smiles that will be given to her as she faces the horrible chemicals, and the effects it has on her memory and state of mind. I know she is strong, but that does not stop anyone feeling weak.

  
It’s amazing how much we can encourage someone with a smile and a positive input.  In the words of  Vicky gundlach 

“When it hurts to look back, and your scared to look ahead, look beside you – your best friend will be there. It’s so true in my experience. My wife has been here for me throughout all of this, she has laughed cried, been frightened but never stopped loving me through this. Throughout our 11 years together we have seen struggles, in all walks of our life but the pleasures far out weigh any sadness we may have faced.

Remember the silverback spirit I spoke of a little while ago. Well I have to do that again now, to get this finished so I can be out there making someone happy, comforting a person that needs me. 

  
I am going to win this battle, when I entered here this small box. I was told there is a chance it may not work and I may not live through it. The options were 18 months of life of facing this horrible transplant. I will are all we are going to do. Failure is not an option.

Go out there and Do, just do. Love is an amazing gift. It’s also free.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2015

Silverback attitude.

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The silver back
In my opinion, a silverback has an amazing attitude. It’s a nick name I have had for some time. You see a silverback does not sit and contemplate. A silver back is a go getter, an animal that lets nothing stop him from achieving his goal. They are the Dodge Charger or TVR or a Ferrari of the animal world. They sound amazing as well as being a mountain of power and muscle.

  
But is that it, is that all that’s in the armoury of a silver back. I don’t think so, they have an ability to be able to touch gently, and love the little ones in the group of gorillas. 
The silver back is not to be annoyed though, the roar and power must be terrifying to the rest of the group. The smaller gorillas running up trees using their agility to escape the mass of the powerful Gorilla. They beat on their chests as a show of strength. 
I relay all the attributes of the silver back to everyday life, it’s up to us what we choose. We can be the one that has agility and escapes using our speed and stealth or we can be the Tanasious silverback, relentless and never giving up.
It’s like that having Cancer, we have choices. Whilst stuck in this room for 16 days now I have had the choice to leave, run away and give up should I choose to do so. Run up a tree and hide rather than face head on what’s needed to be done, to beat this small spineless disease. They call Cancer.
I have chosen to adopt the silverback attitude though, because not only do they have the drive and belief that they WILL win. They make sure they do. Never ever doubting what they are capable of.
I have been given a strength from God that I never ever doubt, I will not give up and I WILL win. Don’t let what ever it is stand in your way, make it happen. Stop talking and start doing.

  
Adopt the silverback mind set and achieve your goals, don’t be that person that’s says ” well I could have” be the person that says “I will do”
You still reading? Have a great silver back day.
Mark

Seize the day

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Sieze the day

Back in 2003 I sold my house in Preston put all my property in storage and got my dad to drop me off at airport.

sat at the airport with a rucksack and a load of money it was going to be an adventure, seizing everyday. A time to find out who I was, as I sit here in isolation disconnected from the world 1 of the only ways to keep sane is to remove yourself from the situation in your mind. So right now I have just landed in Perth. I was to meet a guy with an Aston villa top on, never having met him I had no idea what to expect. He was a short stocky guy with a bald head. We smiled at each other and that familia sound of that horrible Midlands accent came out. But it was kinda diluted by a Aussie twang and sounded quite cool.

  
Many things where to happen before me but after he feel asleep at work and printed 38 pages off of the letter p that was the end I had to leave. I had bought a car, picture below. Blow up mattress in the back and off I went on the adventure of my life.

  
To places with 2 Swedish girls with me, the most boring girls I had ever met in my life. I was not to leave them until I got to Albany where I just got up real early got money off them for the fuel they owed me and drove off to Esperance. 

I wanted to seize the day, to make something happen daily, I was full of energy fight and passion. I am sure I will expand on the hippies that played guitars at night in the desert, the people in thier 60s with every conceivable contraption. The girl on a Harley, my friend with his 4×4. We all had the carpe diem attitude. People are amazing, and so are you. Seize your day.

Esperance is where I will leave writing this blog today. But the point of this blog is to say. You have amazing u inside you, you just have to be willing to allow yourself to find it. Love you, don’t take any negatives from anyone. Be the best you can be, love the best of your ability but most of all find the real you. The you that’s amazing, refuse anything the world says and protect your heart and what you believe in.
You are unique and no one is on YOUR journey.
  

  

mark

Power of forgiveness

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bone, cancer, Cancer stories, desire, destiny, encouragement, energy, facebook, friends, given, help, hope, hospital, life, love, loved, partner, raise awareness, struggle, survived, together, transplant, travel, twitter

The power of forgiveness
In life there are many hurdles, some are quite nice and are not an endurance others are a real struggle. Most however require honesty, mostly with yourself. You see if your happy with who you are, you more often than not make the right choices. The only thing we can’t do is make other people’s for them.

  
We have to learn to accept people for who they are, which I find real hard as my standards in people are so great. I won’t settle for second best, I won’t stand for wishy washy people, that have self richeous opinions. But what I do try to be is honest with all people, which gets me into trouble sometimes. 
Who is right, I am open to opinions. One thing I am very aware of is that forgiveness sets others free and no matter what I think or what my opinion is, it’s my obligation to help others be at peace. 

  
Oh I know it’s hard to hold out an olive branch, because some folk crush the olives and run off with the olive oil. Whilst in this small box I have had hundreds literally of people communicating with me sending me love and best wishes, funny though how some you think will be there think that I am so strong I don’t need them.
The love of good people is amazing. Riches are not found in gold they are found in your heart. By giving to others you don’t empty yourself of you. You find you just get stronger and stronger. 

  
That was the major mistake I made last time I had Cancer. I shut myself in a room did my chemo and went home every time what a waste that was.. I feel so angry with myself that I did that, the offshoot or benefit. I guess is that I have whole heartedly thrown myself at CS 
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536
It’s grown so big I struggle to keep up to date and has become a full time job quite literally. Passing the ball from person to person as the time difference changes so there is always someone there to help or encourage. It’s an amazing gift to share with folk hope, love and compassion. God our maker helps us be who we are, all we have to do is reach out and just LET. It’s been my hardest lesson to learn of my life. But now at 46 isolated in hospital with Cancer I get it. To late? No way it’s never to late.
I pray this prayer, “God use me to bless others” I hope you do to. 
Mark

please ask

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bone, cancer, Cancer stories, desire, destiny, encouragement, energy, facebook, friends, given, help, hope, hospital, life, love, loved, partner, raise awareness, struggle, survived, together, transplant, travel, twitter

Please GOD never allow anyone here to feel this weak. Put my TVR in front of me I would not even be able to get in it… Wow…. Truly truly I know what a man feels like on his death bed. I don’t know or how how but I just hold on. It’s a ride I have no control over what so ever. But please ask the Angels to come and protect me. Please ask… 😢
  

Positive (in isolation)

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Becoming more positive (Cancer battle continues)
At the start of day, we were full of positive energy, that was the start of yesterday, tunes pumping upbeat, positive energy. Even when my body did start to dip I was still looking and finding positives. It’s such a shame FaceTime was so bad a connection last night. But at least I had a conversation with the man I needed to who understands. Not only the human body in depth but has faced times like this before. I so wish I had a bike Stepper of like. But I do press ups and walk around nearly all day.
We both, (me and my wife) find ways of coping, I don’t think my Andie would ever see me this way, nor did I if the truth be known. Funny isn’t it how a strong man, never gets asked how he is. Only my true friends have ever done that.

  
I drift off on holidays in my mind, face demons head on, and keep inching forwards. Yesterday afternoon I found I was not in any control of my emotions what so ever. The tequniques I had been using did not work. I got hugly depressed (not suicidal) but actually wanted to say a word no one is allowed to say in my room. It has can in it with a t at the end of the word. Your not allowed to say that here, no matter what your focus has to be about that moment in time. Never looking to far forwards. The tunnel annalegy is incorrect in here. (Iam finding anyway) I use my dads theory more now of dealing with each moment and getting through that. Only focusing on tomorrow when it arrives. 

 
 In where u don’t find positives, u have to find them somewhere. U have to actively search. My Twitter feed @fonzmark is just full of positive quote after positive. 
Please know I will rise again and I will do this (focus bk Skyman) it’s not a journey anyone can do. It takes guts to have the strength of mind when u don’t have a functioning mind in the first place. (Because treatment is destroying who you are) 
1 thing I have learned, there is no such thing as a normal day in here. You can’t exsect certain things to happen u just have mins to deal with that are IMPOSSIBLE that somehow you make possible.
I hope this helps u all. But seriously going to work, screaming kids, these are all minute details we just do. In here its a creation of a day everyday. All this info whilst not had these times of despair before will help others that have to walk this walk in the future. 
But we are here, I don’t get any help from some people at all, shameful self obsessed people that think they are … Well no idea, they just watch. I wanna say more but I must try my best to get some hours under my belt that will be ticked off whilst I sleep. Day +5 now means day after tomorrow I will start to come back +6 is today’s focus. I am thank ful for you all. Mark
JUST BLESS SOMEONE NO MATTER WHAT. 

Sunday happy memories (isolated still)

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Sunday happy memories (isolated still)
As I recall the mind games I played with myself last night, I remember how much passion I felt. I remember how much love I felt for others that are in my life. My wife, my dad, my mum. My brother, my sister, my nephews, sisters in law, brother in law. Isn’t it spectacular how much we have to give within us if we just LET. 
Eg; Right now in my mind. I am dancing with my wife. She is smiling at me our dog is jumping with us we are in the living room by the fire. We have joy in our eyes tears of love for each other. Knowing that we have done the journey together. Listening to “faith” by Calvin Harris off the motion album. Because perfect love casts out ALL fear. 

  
I seemed to have spent most of my life fighting against something that should be treasured. Family. Family is together not apart, family means that you care for each other no matter what. U just Let them be who they are. Accepting them with warts n all, do I do that. I am not so sure but what I do know is that I will never try to fight the love placed in my heart by someone greater than I. The person who created me, the greater power should you believe it (him) to be there. I look at photos that were created for us yesterday from all around the world. I wonder at the amazing beauty that’s all around us everywhere. 
You can’t smell the smells in here, flowers. You can’t hear the bees or the birds tweeting. The air is sterile, it’s a dead world made alive by the beauty of the nurses that care for me everyday. It’s extreme far worse than prison. Because it’s just a room, by remaining and getting stuck in you find out who you really are. The person you were made to be. 

  
Last night I also wrote this.
Just made myself laugh, as its 3 am and I have just told myself I am going through the worse bit now. Worst… When I think back to where the last 7 years have taken me (in a positive manor) the operation on Christmas Eve, having 8 teeth out just to get a transplant, and the many many chemos, hospital visits. Heartbreaking waits for results, going into remission. Finding a lump again. The nightmares, horrible memories that flood back and bring you literally to your knees. What’s a bit of tummy pain and toilet visits in the night really. I mean come on your near the end now. Dig in suck it up and get this done. Remember all the people that have been with me on this journey and are right now. My dear friend who has this journey to go in some small amount of time. You CAN do this. Come on you CAN. There are approx 30 ppl in the uk that have a bone marrow transplant every year for Hodgkins Lymphoma out of 66million people. As my wife was told “how unlucky am I” this is not unlucky this is just a journey to make us stronger NOT weaker. I believe that dad, truly believe it. I will look back at this note 1 day and I hope you do and gain strength from the character that we all have within us. You CAN and you will.

Have a great day 

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

Isolation continues

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bone, cancer, Cancer stories, desire, destiny, encouragement, energy, facebook, friends, given, help, hope, hospital, life, love, loved, partner, raise awareness, struggle, survived, together, transplant, travel, twitter

Isolation continues.
It’s now day + 3 since my cleaned CANCER FREE cells went back into my body. I am full of strength (as normal) but feel weak. It’s not a can’t be bothered weak like when you have had to much to drink the night before. It’s a weakness that I feel because of the amount of punishment my body has had to endure and I guess as my blood continues to drop to 0.00 it will progressively feel worse. Kidneys are sore and so is my mouth that’s full of ulcers, and it’s painful to eat but tea is very soothing.
That has no effect on my attitude what so ever though, the strong positive words people have said and given to me help me to as my uncle said some time ago. To look at the light at the end of the tunnel and not look back, he was and is right and I have done this everyday whilst in here. 4 more days and I will start my road to recovery, how amazing is that! A tear rolls as I write because the the love of Gods people and the spirit of God (I believe) has protected me in this potentially difficult and dangerous situation. I am not religious although I believe GOD is with me, and I believe Jesus died on the cross to save us from our sins. 
4 more days is nothing compared to the 7 yr fight we (family) have had whilst we have faced this together as 1 unit. 
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536 
is now my extended family and the support from this group means so much to so many people.
We stand together and believe in the power of unity, for where there is unity GOD commands a blessing. I believe that with all my heart and am not going through all this to not encourage and help others to lift their spirits in similar situations. 
Be the best you can be today, yes turn to see where you have been but keep focused on the light. Because as my dear friend keeps telling me, when I stand out in that fresh air a new journey will begin.

  
Have a great day.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

Isolation And Cancer

Tags

bone, cancer, Cancer stories, desire, destiny, encouragement, energy, facebook, friends, given, help, hope, hospital, life, love, loved, partner, raise awareness, struggle, survived, together, transplant, travel, twitter

In isolation kicking cancers butt is a pretty daunting thing to attack, your mind gets used in ways you have never had to use it before. I find myself at times closing my eyes and drifting off to places I have loved with my wife, friends and family. Going to holiday locations in my mind, places where I felt happy and not sad. The day I picked our Labrador up Faith. Remembering how much of a blessing she is and has been to us. You see for me, I have not had Cancer once, I have had it twice. Endured 3 periods of intensive chemotheropy consisting of 30 days of actual chemo. 

Now I don’t say this to make you feel in anyway sorry for me, quite the opposite. I want to encourage you that what you experience is not always going to drag you to the bottom of despair. The sweet is never the sweet without the sour. Our minds are very powerful and we have no clue just how powerful until we are in a situation that demands that power. The love of good people, the hand stretched out to help you UP not to pull you over. This is how we all need to be to make the world a better place. 

  
Be encouraged today and find someone to encourage, even a smile brightens up someone’s day. A lovely comment is a gift that can be remembered forever. Stretch your mind, fill it with love and dismiss all that the world would have you think as negative. We are born to love not to hate, I only hope this has made the start of your day nice. For me doing something nice from this 15ft x12 ft room fills me with joy. Sending you hope and love today.

  

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

It’s My Party

It's All in Finding the Right Words

grabhouse.com

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DAILY PROMPT

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It’s My Party

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You’re throwing a party — for you! Tell us all about the food, drink, events, and party favours you’ll have for your event of a lifetime. Use any theme you like — it’s *your* party!

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My next party will be a celebration of the concluding of the school year.

Now that I am somewhere in the near sixties, parties do not mean the same kind of late night excitement that the word “party” could have formally envisioned.

A totally rad party now means:

• A wonderful all-you-can-eat steak buffet.  (Supper would be around 5 pm)

• A complex, yet heart-warming or soul-searching play or movie.  (A 7 pm showing would be greatly preferred!) (Live theater is preferred. I love to engage the actors and actresses, directors and set-designers)

• The companionship of a friend or two.  (More than that and the ‘entertaining” is more work than pleasure)

• Late…

View original post 56 more words

State of My Mind: CODE RED

the mind…haiku

They, You and Me

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Placebo Effect.”

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

a healthy mind

can help heal any pain

keep it alive

View original post

Transplant day

Tags

bone, cancer, Cancer stories, desire, destiny, encouragement, energy, facebook, friends, given, help, hope, hospital, life, love, loved, partner, raise awareness, struggle, survived, together, transplant, travel, twitter

Today is my new second birthday, why. Because for 7 years I have fought tooth and nail to get here. 8 teeth pulled out 28 days of gruelling chemo. Sickness, aweful tiredness weakness, fatigue, and feelings of hate towards the c word constantly. This has encouraged me to start the group Cancer stories before I got Cancer for the second time. Now in isolation about to have the cells cleaned of Cancer put back into my body to make me Cancer free.

Now I ain’t saying the next weeks will be easy it won’t  I will get ill possibly v I’ll in the next weeks but it’s the just the cruel way Cancer is. I am very upbeat today and am overjoyed at all the messages I am getting on https://www.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536 join in the fun become part of it if Cancer has touched your life in some way. 

Iive your life!!

 

Win what ever fight you have to win and never ever give up. It’s yours to win. 

Today is the most exciting day of my life…

Tags

bone, cancer, Cancer stories, desire, destiny, encouragement, energy, facebook, friends, gerrard, given, help, hope, hospital, life, love, loved, partner, raise awareness, struggle, survived, together, transplant, travel, twitter

I cry writing this after a long arduous fight my last chemo goes in tomorrow I know it will be very painfull and maybe the worst day of my life. But that said it will be, so realeasing. I have embraced ALL the doctors have told me to do. I will get very ill afterwards and the day after I will have my bone marrow transplant. Rejoice with me and tell the world. I have met some very inspirational people Ian Botham a cricket hero of mine, others too. But I wonder if you will help me tell the world. It’s all I can write for now. 

I long to be rid of this and start to help others, people will join me I am sure. I want to dedicate my life to helping others although I am in allot of danger in the coming days. Please share. This has been tougher than any journey of my life. Others will walk this path and I want to encourage them to live and not give up.

You can win

Tags

bone, cancer, Cancer stories, desire, destiny, encouragement, energy, facebook, friends, given, help, hope, hospital, life, love, loved, partner, raise awareness, struggle, survived, together, transplant, travel, twitter

I will never forget the rocky film 4 when Adrian says to Rocky as he is about to fight the Russian. I cried when she said the words “YOU CANT WIN”  that’s what the world would have me believe sat in this room in isolation. This is now day 4 and day 5 is approaching. The strength I am getting from the Cancer stories is amazing, and amazing how much strength others are getting from it to. You to could be part of it as this cruel bone marrow transplant takes place.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/159599874395653

I remember as a small boy, I really wanted a bike but I was only 4. My prayer to God was “I believe I will get a bike thank you God for my bike” I got that bike with solid tyres a few days later. Another prayer I prayed was “Lord I know why you made the blackberries they taste great, but I don’t understand why you made the prickles. Life is like that isn’t it. It’s full of prickles, but also beauty and it’s down to us to look past the Prickles and see the good in every aspect of life.

I Will beat this, why. Because I want to win, and I have an army behind me called Cancer stories  on Facebook link above. These people are all winners, people that believe in human kindness and stay away from negativity. We are warriors, encourages, and all these things bring freedom and success. Make that step in any situation it’s so much easier to make the next. We just gotta have faith and step forward.

Go on be a winner there is nothing like it on earth

Please like my posts so a wider audience sees them Thankyou

 

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram

@fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share

 with others, if it meant something to you, it will to some

one

 else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright ©2015

Destiny finding yourself.

Tags

bone, cancer, Cancer stories, desire, destiny, encouragement, energy, facebook, friends, given, help, hope, hospital, life, love, loved, partner, raise awareness, struggle, survived, together, transplant, travel, twitter

All I say are my opinions based on my experiences. I mean to say who knows who we are, do others really know. I don’t think many of us actually want to talk about you, it’s themselves they are interested in. It’s something I try everyday to avoid talking about myself. Although in isolation you find many of the nurses really do care and it is about saving my life so I invariably do become the topic of conversation. Although I always like to ask how others are feeling. Ask about their lives children ect. When we do this we become close to people they begin to like us. A person who I always considered a friend told me yesterday that she thought I was quite sharp tonged and hurt people with my words. She apologised to me yesterday which I will do for her today also.

Forgiveness and trust are the 2 most important things in a person. It’s very humbling when we feel that we are being treated well and given to even without us giving back.

So how do we find ourselves, so many of us spend our lives doing things to please others, instead of having a goal and striving to obtain it. Before I met my lovely wife I was a crazy guy, bed hopping and never wanting to commit to anyone leaving a destructive trail of broken hearts behind me.

I had a home a Audi Quattro turbo lots of nice things but a broken marriage and a broken heart. I did not love people fully, I allowed myself to be destructive sometimes far to aggressive.

It was only when I travelled Australia I found the meaning of life, that it was not about me. I cry typing because if only I had realised what the key to my destiny was.

I believe what ever route you take in life your destiny is written in stone and you cannot escape what you will be. To live a life of love is better than a life spent running from yourself. When we accept who we are only then will we notice the flowers, and the beauty in people.

Be interested in others positive journeys, don’t take ownership of the negative journeys people are on but embrace them and listen. It’s an amazing thing human kindness, I can’t leave this room for a month. But you are out there loving and listening to others. Give from your heart today, don’t take from your head. You will have a great day as you start to find your destiny. Tomorrow I will tell you of my journey across Australia and New Zealand as I found out more about who I was to become. Bless someone today.

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram

@fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share

 with others, if it meant something to you, it will to some

one

 else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright ©2015

The impossible made possible

Tags

bone, can, cancer, Cancer stories, drwam, encouragement, energy, facebook, friends, given, help, hope, hospital, impossible, life, love, raise awareness, struggle, survived, together, transplant, twitter, will

I am quickly learning whilst having spent 2 days in isolation that the journey is just not possible. The thought of being alone, the reality of being alone is so mountainous. It’s not a place where any human can be, and mentally your mind gets used in ways you have never used it before. See memories are a wonderful thing, love is a beautiful thing. Friendship, laughter, encouragement. These are all gifts, they are purposeful and meaningful. These are the things that we hold on to, the fact many have trodden this journey of bone marrow transplant before me gives you hope. The feelings of helplessness disappear to a degree.

The reality is though, that giving to others makes us stronger NOT weaker as the world would have us believe. Loving other people because you can is an amazing and most beautiful thing. It becomes unconditional, and a need to love others.

You see we ALL without exception have a heart beat, we all have the ability to be able to encourage others. Nobody can’t, we all can. The word can is liberating. I CAN is an amazing word when faced with impossible. It’s a way that frees your mind from your impossible journey and makes it possible.

We can all muster up reasons to not even try but as Michael Jordan says.

 

 

 

Surround yourself with people that say Can allot. Be around people that say I WILL. Rather than its to hard or I am to weak. It’s complete and utter rubbish. YOU, right now, yes you. Can be anything you want to be. Stop looking around at others success. You have your own destiny in your hands right now, the key is giving not taking. Although it’s great to take others to a positive place.

Yesterday I asked my wife to take lots of pictures of me holding up cards of people that love me, people that care and I told them I am doing this for them. 

 

 

You can do anything and be what ever you want to be right now. You can do it. You WILL achieve it just make the first step.

Walking through the doors to this room was impossible, the first day was impossible. But it’s done now and somehow it’s been made possible. Just DO IT! Sending you love today as I fight again to get rid of my Cancer. 

Fonz

Mr jangles

Tags

bone, cancer, Cancer stories, encouragement, energy, facebook, friends, given, help, hope, hospital, life, love, raise awareness, struggle, survived, together, transplant, twitter

woke up this morning knew we had to go to to hospital to have my 7 days attached to a drip which is where I am right now. laid in bed having a chemo that will hurt my body, to hopefully make it better.

The only way I can think of relaying it right now is the green mile. My wife loves me soooo v much, she passionately, and whole heartedly loves her husband and it is really beautiful to feel. And very nice to watch her careing nature. She treats me like nothing else matters in the world except for me. Delaquar Mr jangles cell mate looked after Mr Jangles to the best of his ability, until that fateful day when evil ended Mr jangles life. That’s what this isolation is like. It’s like someone has ended my life as I know it. Like I am not real, life’s on hold and I am dead… Just like when the prison officer stood on the mouse and killed it. I never asked for Cancer, It just came along one day and crushed my life slowly. 

However John koffee asked for the mouse to be given to him, the massive giant man in the story was so gentle and used so much of himself to help the mouse to muster the strength to live again. This is like chemo, the chemo whilst very intrusive and painful. Is just a very cruel way of helping someone with Cancer to survive. Sometimes in life we come across a situation like Cancer. It’s not how we feel it’s how we respond that counts.

The begining of the end of a 7 yr fight with Cancer

Tags

bone, cancer, Cancer stories, encouragement, energy, facebook, friends, given, help, hope, hospital, life, love, raise awareness, struggle, survived, together, transplant, twitter

Today I hope is the beginning of the end of Cancer.  I goto the room I will be extremely ill in today. Although I will come home tonight I will be going in to have my hicc line put in on Thursday morning. then it’s time to dig in real deep and get this done. I will be updating the journey daily so please fav this blog and you will get updated when I do.

I am really passionate that people know what this journey is like. A bump on my neck caused all this, naughty bump. But now it’s time to get rid forever. Lots of things have to be faced when fighting Cancer. Some no one but us (the people with it) will know about. But I will be as discriptive and as though as physically possible. I love life and I love people. But I absolutely hate Cancer with a passion. 

God bless you all, let’s get this done!

  

saying goodbye

Saying goodbye.

Weird old day today, went and met up with a dear friend today who we love very much. We enjoyed time and shared a hug, I then went on to visit 2 other families to say bye. Then to the pet shop and finally to to see our friends at the local shop. Now I am not thinking I won’t make it going in that room. But it is at the back of my mind, funny people who I thought would be there are not, and people I never thought would be are. I just wish people could be completely honest and tell me they don’t know what to say as opposed to saying nothing at all.

I tell you what it feels like, it’s like this is the end of the me I am today. That I Mark will not be in that room, but someone else. The person that leaves that room and comes home will be a new me that I don’t know yet. Still it’s pool night tonight n my best friends are coming here to share food and laughter.

My wife taught the dog (faith) a new trick today. She gets it right every time. Snap a biscuit and get her to touch the hand it’s in. Very impressive. Sending love to you all where ever you are. Mark

Family

Tags

belief, encouragement, family, gift, hope, love, second chance, today, wellbeing, winner, winning.

It’s the simple things we all take for granted. A smile from a person you care about, a hug from …

Continue reading →

Preparing for the room.

Tags

bone, cancer, encouragement, energy, facebook, friends, given, happiness, help, hospital, joy, life, love, people, positive, transplant, twitter

#fonzandcancerwhen faced with any uncertainty, a journey of any kind. We try to imagine what it will be like. In my normal life I love to walk down the gardens with a brew watching the fish in the stream. Looking at the plants and trees and tending them. I love to feel the outside air on my skin and have fun with Faith my dog outside. She loves to run after the ball in the garden. She smiles when she is with me. 

 

Last time I had Cancer I had an extension built and me and a couple of friends made a stream at the bottom of the garden which is now stocked with fish.  

 

These things that are freely enjoyed will be a thing of the past for a short while. A bone marrow transplant demands that your immune system is taken to the point when you actually have no defence what so ever from germs or infection. The room has your very own air conditioning which is not connected anywhere else. Your only danger is your own bacteria whilst in there apart from visitors. From my side I feel it best to not have visitors as every person highers the risk of infection whilst in there. 

I have had to put lots of things in place to go in, things to look forward to. Like getting my car up to scratch so we can enjoy driving it when I get out. I think it’s of great importance to keep a positive mind set, for that there is a group I am in called Cancer stories ( friends ) 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536/?ref=bookmarks
People there have had some experience of Cancer wether a sufferer or a loved one that is fighting or has passed because of it. There is a very real chance I may die in that room. Scary prospect in its self. I however don’t have that at the forefront of my mind. What is at the forefront is to publicise my journey daily with pictures and words. Some days there will be laughter, some tears some pain, and some that are sick days that are written off.

In there I will have pictures given to me by family which I will work through remembering lots of positive times with family and friends. Time in there is to keep your mind positive not allowing any negative thoughts into your mind. Of course it’s important to have real friends on your side. We have allot of new friends from this journey, people that empathise. People that know what it’s like to be in this situation. 

All I hope is that there are people out there that will be encouraged by this story, this journey, and all that we will face in there. I say we my wife and best friend is by my side through all of this. Please feel free to follow my personal story. Have a great weekend.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

Picc line Removed.

Tags

aim, belief, bone marrow, breast, cancer, cars, chemo, chemotheropy, cure, desire, determination, doctor, facebook, family, fonz, football, games, given, goal, GOD, grateful, happy, healed, holiday, hospital, lost, love, mobility, motivation, nurse, painful, prayer, real, reality, rescued, sales, skin, strength, taken, tennis, transplant, treatment, ward, world

chemotheropy with a picc line is a great way to have it administered. It’s a small tube placed in your arm into a vien going to a main archery near your heart. Mine was 35 cm long. I had mine fitted in January to have my ICE chemo. It’s a real pain having it as it protrudes from your body and it’s uncomfortable sometimes. That line became my friend, because with it in there are no more injections to take your blood. 

Well today was the day I had to say goodbye to that friend, but it also signified that I would not be having treatment at southport anymore. It was a little emotional saying Thankyou to all my day care nurses at southport oncology. But somehow a relief that we had completed the journey with no hick ups. This will take me to a small space in royal Liverpool hospital for 4 weeks where I will have to have my transplant. I can see light at the end of the tunnel now. That day I dream of is coming nearer.

You can find details of my journey on 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536/
A 7 year fight all because of a lump. Still I stand, time to dig in once again next week and see off this Cancer once and for all.. 

 

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

Looking forwards

Its a funny old world when you have Cancer. You find two worlds, an honest world where you have genuine friends and family that care. Then there is the cover up world. A world where no one is allowed to appear weak, honesty is not an option because your protecting those around you because you your self ( the Cancer sufferer ) are trying to protect everyone from the true realities of what dealing with this is like.

When you have had it once you become a bit of a pro at talking about things others want to talk about. Work, dog, children, friendships, anything but the Cancer. You find the true people never want to change who we are and are interested more in your wellbeing as opposed to what you say. 

These people are hard to find, diamonds you might say. It’s funny how 2 of those people who I trust completely are school friends. The place I hated has revealed diamonds in the sand so to speak. Paul benson and Daniel Clydeburn.

Texts become bland to reply to, “how are you doing” is the no1 sentence to get on your nerves. How many times an I gonna have to cut n paste the same answer. But inside all you want to say is… Well I guess u can guess. All you need is to talk with someone that can empathise with you. Someone that knows and understands and will laugh with you at the fact I sometimes need to use a stick. Laugh that I fell over on the baked bean Isle.  Someone that will lie with you in the mud when u fall over walking the dog. Someone that understands how dizzy we get, someone that knows that pooing your pants is normal and won’t make you feel small.  That person is called “my wife”  Cancer is really rough and makes you say and be a different way with some people. 

Cancer stories is not like that because we all understand each other. https://www.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536/?fref=ts

We know what it’s like for the most part, we know how hard chemo is. We know the thoughts and feelings we have to deal with. Opening Cancer stories is like coming home to me. A place where no one will judge you, a place where we all know the tribulations we all face.

Tuesday today and a week today I will be on the chemo pump once again, hopefully for the last time. I am sure as those 6 days and nights of chemo hit my body I shall go through allot of different feelings and emotions. But why me will not be one of them. Rather get it done so others can be helped along the way. I will NOT give up, I will whole heartedly remain where I need to be in that room for the 4 weeks. My body maybe weak but my mind will always be strong. 

We are all strong beings made stronger by the human kindness all around us. Please don’t forget to make someone smile today. U won’t know what they are facing today. But a smile could make their day.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

The c word.

After watching MOST of the c word on bbc I player. I have realised that every part of that storey was me in a male form. My attitude, the support from my Wife foremost and my family. 

There were just 3 differences, apart obviously that I am male not female. First of all I don’t have baths because I can’t immerse my PICC line. Secondly I have never been jealous of people enjoying themselves, only the thoughtlessness of some folks who think it’s great to say how well their day is going when we clearly can’t enjoy ours.

Thirdly the relationship she had with her brother, which I do have with my own brother but sadly not my sister. It’s very consuming having Cancer and very difficult to be positive all the time. What happens when the doors shut maybe very different from what people see out and about.

What the film made me realise, is that it’s normal to feel weak, it’s normal to feel like you can’t. Even though after you have had that cry that you brush yourself down and say I can. I WILL ect. The love of good people is priceless when u have Cancer. 

Just remember you can even if you feel you can’t. I mean who on earth decided to put a t after can. Forrest Gump knew about life. It is indeed like a box of chocolates. I can’t stand the coffee ones, but love to share them with someone that does. Cancer is without doubt my chocolate with a coffee filling. 

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

The road ahead with Cancer.

Its now just 1 week before I go into hospital to have my bone marrow transplant. Last night was a great night shared with a couple of friends for my friends 40th few drinks, few games of pool and allot of laughter was the course of the evening. I am one of life’s fortunate people, with friends that love me, people that care. 

I have a loving family, a great wife and live in a nice village outside southport called Hesketh bank. We have an ok house, gardens, sports car, but most of all I know what it’s like to be loved unconditionally. 7 years ago I became tired, very tired. That year whilst approaching 40 was confusing. We moved to this lovely place, the people here are such beautiful people. Kind loving and genuine. But non of them could help me by taking away my pain.

April 1st 2010 we moved here over 5 years ago. By 5th I was having blood tests, 1 month later I was told I had lymphoma (Cancer) and I had weeks to live without treatment. I was at 4a very advanced. making this brief I went on a trial which would help scientists learn from my treatment should I not make it. Now you have to know that my wife (Andie) has lost both her parents early in life to Cancer. How would she cope with this. It involved 12 chemos every 2 weeks called ABVD. The chemo is put in through a canular directly into the blood, with the aim of killing the desease. Nothing was easy about this journey, except loving my wife whom has been given to me as a gift I believe. Gods gift to me, my dear darling Andrea. My rock, and my everything.

I managed to get into remission and the doctors all told me it had gone. (Never once did I believe them) I had hope, but that’s not enough. Now don’t get me wrong I fought like hell for this to go. Our holiday finally came and we were in Morocco for 2 weeks, I will never for get that place. The boys managed to get away with me to to celebrate me ridding my body of this and hoping for many years with my Rock Andie. We bought a Labrador and called her faith. 

 

As you can see 3 years on she is enjoying loving her mum and dad. 

Recently October 2014 we all (boys) went away again, it was a great 10 days. When I came back I had to go for my routine 3 monthly check up. I had found a swollen lymph node in my neck but was not worried at all. I was even hoping for a 6 month check up for next time. But alas the lump needed checking, 24th Dec 2014 I was on the operating table having it removed. Since then I have had 9 chemos that last a full day, day 1 chemo 9-5 day 2 next day 9-4 and the same again the next day. Actual sickness constant for a week after it then back again 3 weeks later.

  This is what chemo looks like.

I run a group on face book now called Cancer stories (friends) 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536/?fref=ts
Please feel free to follow all members progress on here.

Now I find myself 1 week away from going into a room in royal LIVERPOOL hospital to have 6 days and nights of chemo followed by my stem cells being reintroduced to my body. I will be in isolation for 4 weeks which terrifies me, but I will be updating what happens to me everyday.  I only hope all of what we do helps others to get checked early thus helping to save lives.

  
This is me and my wife 7 years ago. Please share this blog where you can, I will continue to rise and move forward in this battle. Love to you all and thanks for reading Mark.

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016