Time for yourself.

Tags

desire, destiny, encouragement, energy, faith, hope, loved, mo, PTSD, struggle

Man life’s hard sometimes, you think you have got through the hardest part and your faced with another curve ball. I know because I have had one thrown at me to. Infact I am working it out right now. The thing is, it comes down to the people you trust, can rely on and love. Sometimes those people are not family, sometimes the people we most trust are people that we love. Who we love are the family we choose. Don’t beat yourself up if the people you love the most are not your blood family. That’s ok, it’s ok to be you.

Sometimes the right thing to do is what you think it is. Right now, I am taking a break for my own well-being. But sometimes we need to take time out to be the best we possibly can be, that’s not a bad thing at all. What matters is to be the best, not ok or good but great or the best we can be.

For me it’s time to deal with the issues that Pain has created, what’s happened to me and the road to recovery. The constant pain, creates dark places, some people may think me weak. Well that’s possibly true right now, for sure I need time to heal and I hope this will help other people one day. But how can that road be walked on until I have recovered from the problems caused by treatment. How can I stand and encourage other people if I have not walked many different paths. I see the issues I face right now as steps, you can’t look at the whole journey, it’s to much for the mind to handle and to much for the body.

Phycologists talk about elephants. They ask the question. “If you were to eat an elephant how would you do it”? Of course the answer is not all at once, but one piece at a time. It’s not possible to eat an elephant all at once and for sure will take a long time to eat which helps to lower expectations on how quickly you will heal. This coming from someone that gets frustrated at how long it takes to get served in KFC, that filter coffee is not instant and extensions take months to complete. I can’t stand waiting, yet the longer you wait the better the job will be. Cutting corners is not the way.

It’s like tyres on a car, the more they wear, the less efficient they become. We as people live in a ‘get it now’ society. We have credit cards, and new cars are easy to get. If of course you can afford the monthly payments.

Relationships with people take time, and if we don’t make time then we will never improve that relationship. People you love I guarantee you make time for, and the people you don’t understand I would hazard a guess you spend next to no time with that person at all. Yet time is the most important thing in life, and it’s something non of us know how much time we have. So it’s best to use what we have, not sit and wish things were different. How will they be if no effort is made. Someone said something to me last week. When I talked to the person about time, that they had been busy and surely rest would be order of the day. The response was ‘time is for filling’ how right that is. The time we do have we must use or lose it.

Time is like land, we can’t make any more of it. There is so much, and it’s up to us what we do with it.

What we do has an effect, be it immediately or in years to come. I don’t really want to go into what’s going on with me, but I do want to say that I am being kind to myself. I am making time for me to get well and overcome with tools that will help others in the future. As youngsters we called each other names and one we used to use as kids is tool! “What a tool”you have heard it said right. But have you any idea of how long it takes to make one. It’s actually a long process and the better the tool the longer it takes.

Time for you helps you to recharge and become a better you, it’s vital. We are all facing something, but the key is to make sure we help ourselves the best we can. That we are kind to ourselves so we can be a better us in the future. Beating ourselves up, is not a great use of time. But we do sometimes need time on the hills to reevaluate what’s important in life and who. Time for you makes you a better you.

So shortly me and the girls are off to see my parents at Brock bottom. A beautiful place, where my dogs can enjoy the water. Time is a healer, it’s necessary and for sure is an opportunity. Without time how can a relationship be nurtured. Nurture who’s special to you, don’t waste your time with people who speak badly of you or don’t give you time. The people that love you won’t make excuses not to see you, they will make reasons to see you. Be kind to yourself and others.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram

@fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share

with others, if it meant something to you, it will to some

one

else. All images are from a Google search. Or my olwn, taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright ©2018

Trust rely on and love.

Valentine’s Day.

Tags

choclates, faith, flowers, gift, guilt, love, loved, partner, together, twitter, valentines

Here is my opinion of this made up bullshit day. At this time of year people feel guilted into buying presents for their loved ones. Which is a complete farse. It was created by a card company that wanted to boost profitability after the Christmas period. The original story is about valentine, the story ends with two people becoming involved romantically. Someone somewhere decided to make it another day to make the willing followers give cash and buy their lovers a card, treat, or a present.

It’s aimed at young people, and I personally feel, that if you can’t wait till the day after to cash in on the cheap chocolates then there is something wrong. Your partner should be encouraging you not to spend money on the said Day. Rather know and feel secure that you are indeed loved. That a made up day does not change anything. Of course I sent cards when I was young, when I was single and perhaps it’s a great way to get the attention of someone you like.

When I was single, I would always without fail go out on the 14th Feb. After all you were almost guaranteed that anyone out would be single. As the people who were in a relationship would be sat at a table somewhere gazing at each other. It is for sure a great night to go out if you want to higher the odds of a yes. Unless of course you are a serial Tinder swiper, then you will be in your pjs on the sofa giving your thumb a workout. Wondering who deserves a DM.

If you love someone, you will buy flowers spontaneously, say you love each other for no reason. Kiss, and hug for no reason. But wait, it is for a reason. It’s because you love each other and and not because a card company says you should. What a load of codswallop that is, don’t you think?

Use your head and buy flowers when they are cheap, and take advantage of the cheap chocs after the fake day, they call Valentine’s Day. As I say, if your trying to attract someone it’s a great opportunity not to be missed. But that is it.

Don’t be drawn in and feel your relationship depends on it. If it does the chances are you are in a needy relationship. NOT a loving one.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram

@fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share

with others, if it meant something to you, it will to someone

else. All images are from a Google search. Or my olwn, taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright ©2018

Divorced people are amongst the most lonely in the world.

Tags

cancer, encouragement, faith, Families, family, friends, happiness, health, Hodgkins, hope, life, love, survivor

A divorce is like a death, it is for sure the same and certainly no one will understand unless they know the hurt that’s felt, when someone they love dies. I would like to think that all people marry because they love each other and believe that to be case in most marriages. It certainly was for me, yes that’s right I was married before as was my now wife.

When someone gets divorced, they carry hurt, Pain, and a feeling of failure. In my own experience it’s hard to see people siding with one or the other. No one truly knows what’s gone on except the people involved. Yet all that the people experiencing the separation yarn is what they got married for. They yearn love, and they look for a way to get rid of the pain. That’s why you see so many people drinking to excess, taking drugs and perhaps even ending their own life because they don’t feel it’s worth living anymore. I know how all that feels, the desire to not feel the hurt anymore.

You hear friend say that they are looking forwards to their own life changing events, a baby, marriage, a christening, you want to feel happy for them so so bad. But you just feel like the loneliest person in the room, everyone does not understand you. They just see what they thing we should be doing. To love someone is the most beautiful thing, yet in divorce it so quickly turns to hate. Everyone seems to see solutions where all you want is for the Pain to go away. The talking stops and the thought that you ever loved that person just seems so inconceivable.

I mean what is it we all want in life?

I would say that there is only one thing on this earth that has ultimate importance. It’s a concoction that we all crave to meet this end goal. That life gives us that one thing. It comes through, faith and love. Consideration for others, friendship. It comes through giving, through laughter and being around people that care about you and don’t want something from you. It comes through hugs, from having a good family. Yet someone going through divorce will not feel it, they have so much more to overcome before becoming happy. That’s it isn’t it, that we all aim to be happy in life and to find that balance has a high value. If not the most important thing in life is to be happy.

Everyone of us can be that small part of that concoction for some happiness. My challenge to you today, is that you can be a part for someone’s happiness. That someone who is enduring a divorce or a loss needs our love not our sympathy. They need our arm around them to tell them that they are important, they are loved and have value.

I think the key is not to judge what has happened, or who’s at fault rather love the person. Remembering that rejection which is what divorce is, can result in devastating consequences. Not to long ago a distant friend of mine (our electrician) committed suicide because the divorce was so messy. Going round to see him with some ring donuts and phone calls to lift him. We’re not enough, or maybe there just we’re not enough people that helped to lift him up. I cared about him and did my best to help him to come through. But ultimately he was not happy, that was missing in his life.

Our girls puppies

Happiness was not a part of his life, rejection took over and Gary could cope no more. That’s what we need to nurture in life. The situations and people that bring us happiness, and the feelings that go with that. Happiness is a priceless gift and one to be cherished.

The point of this blog is to remind you of what’s important, happiness. Bathe in it and enjoy it like the new morning sun. Happiness is peace, and peace is acceptance. Those 3 things are without doubt a recipe for a disease and stress free life. I have experienced the latter and for sure seek happiness over anything that’s going to rob me of it. If it’s not going to bring some joy in the end I tend to steer away from it. Life’s to short that’s for sure.

Have a great week.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram

@fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share with others, if it meant something to you, it will to someone

else. All images are from a Google search. Or my olwn, taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright ©2018