Bullet proof, or just human.

Tags

encouragement, hope, love, Martinhousecc, tvrcc, tvrnorthengland

In life we face all kinds of situations, some are amazing, some sad, some are upsetting and so on. But one thing I have realised in my continued fight is not everyone will understand what you have been through or what you are going through.

The secret I think is to always find the good. As a friend of mine says. “It’s good to be good” wealthy or otherwise it makes no odds we all have the power to be good. To be nice to be positive, to be kind and caring. Not everyone will like it as some love to fight.

For me it’s about the giving, the loving the generosity and seeing the smile is all I need. If your going through something, it’s not wrong for someone not to get it. For me it’s chronic pain that nobody can see. I find whilst experiencing it ALL the time that you can’t feel it whilst doing something that makes you happy.

Really, I am not joking! You can’t feel pain whilst driving a car that makes you feel good. For example my TVR it’s my happy place. Of course it only masks it for a time but it’s better than any pain killer I have had. Joy also has the same affect. Joy on someone’s face makes me feel a feeling that is not describable . Positivity spreads and is infectious like negatively is also. But we choose which one we live by.

No matter what I will always choose to love over hate. Another thing my friend says is “wales never fails” the same as love “perfect love casts out all fear” why choose to live a life that’s not positive. What is there to gain after all I have enough negativity with out choosing to accept it into my life on top of my condition.

Life’s tough for us all. Without exception. Choosing love is a precious way to live. Helping someone across a road. Finding something positive to say. Building people up are all things I want to do with my life.

One thing I am doing in September is to do an auction for a charity that needs help. I have put it out there and a few people in a short time have given to the cause. People from all over the place. My new friend John, Rick, Heath, Dan, jo, Sam, Nick, Ian, Richard to name a few that have given donations to raise funds for the cause and we have not even got started yet.

The TVRCC is full of amazing people willing to help., people are being so generous and the family’s will have huge smiles put on their faces when they see us drive by them. What a gift to be able to have fun whilst helping others. To be able to help people with what you have available to you.

When I bought my car, the doctors gave me weeks to live without treatment and here we are 10 years later. Giving is a most precious way to live and I will continue to do this till the day I die. My journey is one of giving, one of blessing others. One of mistakes also, but no ones perfect right. I most definitely am not. But to do your best to bless someone everyday is the right way for me to live.

You won’t truly understand unless you experience hardship, or life’s struggles have an effect on your body. You only truly empathise with another when you have faced trials of your own. Love is the right way for me. Unconditional love casts out all fear. Only that can come from being able to get rid of that which weighs you down. Remember The https://fonzandcancer.wordpress.com/2015/06/08/164/. Garbage truck

We have to let go of things that weigh us down. Choose to dump them I say.

Enjoy the rest of your day

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram @dogrupher

@fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share

with others, if it meant something to you, it will to some

one else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own taken whilst creating memories every day. Some pictures taken by enthusiasts on the day.

You could change a life by sharing this post!

Will you?

Copyright ©2021

It’s good to talk!

Tags

attitude, awareness, black, cancer, encouragement, F1, faith, family, health, kravitz, racism, strength, Ted, transplant, tvr, weakness

Good day to you, it’s July 4th today; Independence day in the US. If that’s you. Happy Independence Day! July 4th in the UK will be the day remembered that pubs were allowed to open in the UK during the Covid-19 pandemic.

One thing that’s taken some getting used to for me, writing posts like Its ok to not be ok, is talking about mental health. I am fortunate to have friends that accept me for who I am and don’t want to change me. It makes me feel safe to talk about my feelings. I am learning everyday that we are all not talking about things and recently I have decided to talk and indeed have talked to people I feel I can trust. I am surprised to find that one of my friends said such a poignant sentence to me. He does that, and it’s a real privilege to have him in my close circle of friends. He says things that are meaningful and honest. I can’t stand folk that speak with small amounts of knowledge. It’s far better to speak from experience than to think you know the answer. No one can take away your experiences! They are yours and yours alone.

“I prefer to listen to someone’s problems, than attend their funeral!”

Wow it was a light bulb moment. I spend my days encouraging people and loving them through their struggles. I spend time talking and being open and honest and being real. Even though I do this I understand that it’s really important to take time to yourself as well. So you can be the best you that you can be. Being effective is about looking after yourself as well as others.

YOU CAN is a powerful thing to say to anyone. It’s amazing the power you have as a human to help someone; or put them down with anything you say to them. I have people contact me from all types of backgrounds. Politicians, pundits; F1 Ted Kravitz has sent some encouraging words, as has Mark Blundell. You never know who you will affect in your life if you choose to say nothing. There are some wonderful people out there in the world. Yet yesterday was one of the worst of my life to date.

You see sometimes the way we feel is not us, it can be chemically induced, and affects your mind and some days all we can do is hold on. Just that holding on can be draining and tiresome. Yet holding on can be courageous and so much more is required to hold on than to let go. To achieve anything you have to hold on, you have to believe the storm will pass. You have to keep your head up and press on. My brother is good at this.

There is another thing the wisest man I know said to me yesterday. That storms are useful! In the bible story, where Jesus was asleep in the boat, to find the disciples waking him in a panic believing the storm would sink the boat. But Jesus put his hands out and stilled the water.

The wise man said to me after I said “These are huge waves I am riding dad” His response was

“Waves carry you forwards!”

So so true! I am not writing this to tell on all the people that help me in my life. I am attempting to encourage you, that talking is so much better than saying nothing. Us men are so proud yet you would be surprised at how many people; who have seemingly normal lives have things going on with them, that they are finding tough. Yet YOU! Yes you! Can have a positive influence on peoples lives. If you talk. If you say nothing, then how can you learn? How can you help someone. It’s only possible if we communicate with other people.

Some people hide what they feel and keep it inside and never have an effect on anyone’s life. Is that how you want to live? To only ever get from the world and never even use a wave you have ridden to affect someone in a positive way. In most of my writings I talk about how negatives need to exist so that there can be a positive. All of your experiences can be used for good if you let them. Hey no seriously I mean it ALL of them. Heck if I had not had such a bad day yesterday this post would not even exist.

“You can’t taste how sweet the sweet is, without tasting the sour!”

One sentence I said as a boy or should I say ‘prayed’ was “God I know why you made the blackberries but I don’t understand why you made the prickles. You are here to find out what this world is all about. During my cancer journey I have had to take many many drugs. Codeine, Tramadol, Gabapentin, Amitriptyline, and the one I am currently doing my best to come off of. HEROIN!! Disguised as Oxycodone!!! It messes you up when you withdraw as I am right now. Yet even as I withdraw, I am finding purity in life. In friendships, marriage, being a son. It’s all there for us all if we look.

Even being a child of God is hard sometimes. Being loving is hard sometimes. Being lonely is hard sometimes. Being positive is hard sometimes. Just hanging on is hard sometimes. But what ever you do in this life make sure that you are honest and talk to your friends. Make new ones and don’t be afraid to be yourself; people will respect you and most importantly you will be accepted for you.

Listen I have lived a fake life, been someone I am not and tried to present a me that was fake. People know! They pick up on it and they won’t be real with you either and what you get from the world will just be fake THINGS! Don’t get me wrong it’s ok to have things, as long as they don’t change who you are. My car makes me smile when I need a smile putting on my face. The people that talk to you about what they own rather than sharing what they have learnt, have not learnt what true freedom from within is all about. I want people to look back on my life and see me as an inspiration. That people that are going through something tough will read some of my writings, and feel that they can move forwards when they felt they were unable. To help people look for the positives where it seems there is none. That there is a purpose in what you’re facing right now. That only you can do what you are doing and only you can be who you are!

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram @dogrupher

@fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share

with others, if it meant something to you, it will to some

one else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post!

Will you?

Copyright ©2020

Coming off Heroin! (Oxycodone)

Tags

attitude, cancer, destiny, encouragement, energy, hope, love, survived, transplant

Saturday 27th june 2020

Its been a horrific few days and its only just started really, for a long while i have dedicated my time to helping others in what ever situation they find themselves in. i suppose its something that’s inbred, having caring parents that always spend their time doing the same. has rubbed off on me over the years.

when you have serious procedures like a Bone marrow transplant and or chemotherapy for cancer its important to keep yourself pain free to concentrate on getting through the treatment. i realise many people will judge me for this post. but its not those people i write for. i write so people that are struggling so they can find hope, feel encouraged and believe they can carry on. illnesses are so debilitating, the pain that comes because of it can make you feel low and useless. The feelings are overwhelming for me i have even felt guilt that i am alive and even more that i am having to use drugs to cope with the pain.

My bone marrow transplant destroyed the enzyme in my body that converts codine into Morphine. So I had to take a different drug, man made to deal with my nerve pain. The important thing here for me is to see how my body is without the Drug in my body.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram @dogrupher

@fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share

with others, if it meant something to you, it will to some

one else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post!

Will you?

Copyright ©2020

Thomas cook goes under the day of our departure!

Tags

Compassion, GOD, hospital, immunise, memories, weakness

Been a crazy couple of days! You read on the news that our airline Thomas cook is in need of funds and can’t afford to operate! Crazy in this day and age after all the 170 years experience that the company could not be saved. It’s really bothered me as to why. I have flown Thomas cook on a lot of occasions and have met some wonderful people along the way. Including fundraising for a lovely female stewardess who lost her life to the very disease I was also fighting! I can’t fathom why some people survive and others die. But what I do know is that life is precious. While going through the whole process of getting another flight or flights in our case as we are having to go to Istanbul on our way to Bodrum for our lads holiday.

I was watching other passengers and how stressed some were getting yet is it not just amazing to be alive and be able. Just that to be able! That’s a gift isn’t it to be able to do anything at all.

I had the opportunity to talk to someone who was clearly upset about his children’s behaviour and explained to him that it’s not what’s going on around that’s the issue. It’s how we think about it that truly matters. How we perceive things in life can actually turn things around for good.

Isn’t it our minds and how we perceive what’s going on around us that makes things easier to handle.

We have gone for weeks looking forwards to going away with the boys. Then 24 hrs before the plane takes off we learn the news that Thomas cook has crumbled! I find this hard to comprehend being that there is so so much that could have been done. Is it then not down to the massive payouts that people have had in their roles? Is it greed? Or could it be something unforeseen. I don’t think so, they have been trying to find a solution for 3 years sadly unsuccessfully.

It saddens me the amount of people that are now out of work due to this my friend Mathew cross is out of work. A wonderful steward supervisor that I became friends with and helped raise money fore his friend that v v sadly died weeks later. We can’t change what happens to others in most cases. But we can change ourselves and our own way of dealing with things. A lady behind me has been banging my chair attempting to get a reaction on the flight home. But my perspective is that she is unable to make me snap as it’s nowhere near as bad as being in the room having a transplant.

The day we departed Janette and Rita from Global travel in Bamber bridge sorted out so many things for us. You could say it’s a pain making a 11 hr journey into a 15hr one and changing 2 planes. No we are grateful that these people thought highly enough of us that we were still able to get some sun.

It’s the people that consider others that matter most. Or is it? That’s for you to make your mind up. But I choose to bless people where ever possible and you can too.

You all know I have had cancer and rely on tablets. I want to be free from them in Jesus name but maybe there are still some lessons for me to learn. It’s v v hard having a panic attack and feeling so scared in a room on your own. Due to us travelling I forgot to take my tablets! I start to feel ill after 10hrs that happens after 10hs of taking my pain killer everyday. Missing a second and then a third and then a second amtryptalyn ! Life gets very strange and leads to Panicking and wanting so so much to come home. Anyone else get that? Finding the courage to ring someone you think would care but being told to ring my wife! I cry out to the lord and ask God to help me. Then out of the blue I get a text reminding me of life and love and miriacles. That was my friend Gareth a Godly man. I was soon bk on track and my fear subsided.

I learnt from that. That if people are listening to the still small voice of our farther then it matters not where you are. I spent a lot of the rest of the holiday topping up my faith while others burnt their bodies.

I was able to pray with someone on the boat trip but that’s a whole nother post.

The point is, when things seem bad change your perspective rather than trying to change what’s not possible. All things are

Possible through Jesus. Even the closest people to you will let you down. But then some folk can’t walk in the spirit.

I also believe that prayer without actions is an excuse to do nothing! The bible says “faith without works is dead” there is no point praying and then doing nothing! Is there?

Thank you Jesus for loving us so much that we live in forgiveness. Amazing that Jesus died that we maybe forgiven. Sin is sin and God hates the sin NOT the sinner. You are loved by Jesus and that will not change.

My prayer is that all the Thomas cook people find new jobs and find happiness in their new roles. God bless you all!

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram @dogrupher

@fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share

with others, if it meant something to you, it will to some

one else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post!

Will you?

Copyright ©2019

Did you know depression is a gift!

Tags

depression, destiny, encouragement, friends, Hodgkins, love

Hi, time to share with you about mental health. I want to share with you my findings in life. How depression affects you, How it can affect you if you let it! As I sat there talking to my friend. Imagine Will hunting. That’s how it is in therapy, I dig in all the time. I refuse to take down my armour. I am impervious! I am stronger than it!

Overcoming depression is about believing it will be replaced, that there will be light, but you have to pick up the torch! The thing that’s the hardest in the battle against depression is to do the thing that it is stopping you doing (walking the dog, taking something round to a friend, choosing to give in, rather than walk in nature) depression if you let it will help you do one thing. It helps you look up. Lately I have heard voices

“your not good enough”

“your not strong enough”

“Your not successful”

People that are depressed have lost something in their life.

Did you know pain is depression or success.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE! God showed me that today. That in weakness is when God is strong. ” so you have to be weak to find strength!

Depression is essential for someone that wants to help others. The lessons I have learnt today are miraculous. I have cried many tears today.

Suicide is a permanent solution to something temporary. I am struggling so much right now. But there is never going to be a view unless you spend time climbing.

It’s impossible to know what happiness is unless you have felt sadness. Routine, exercise, doing the opposite to what depression tells you to be. Pain is a great thief in my life! Yet I stand put on my coat and walk my dogs anyway! My pain will still be there if I do or don’t do. So I get out there and do things, I let myself see the trees, smell the air. See people’s hearts, allow yourself times of vulnerability . Like I did today!

Guys darkness is hard!

Commitment to using my pain to build my character, and finding a greater meaning to my pain. Maybe then I could become useful to others.

We are given 5 tools in this life along with air and water we are what we are. Yet it’s down to our persistence of teaching ourselves when we find ourselves in the state people call depression.

Our consistent thoughts we think and the consistent things we believe is what we become. If you know depression, then I guarantee you know what happiness is! But I want you to know, that having your head in your hands will not help you beat depression. Accept what you cannot change, but change your habits.

Do you know that your brain is a record of things that’s happened, you wake up everyday in the past!

CHANGE IT!

Do the opposite to what depression wants you to be. This is not a way of finding happiness today, but it’s a way of teaching yourself that your past does not define you!

If you keep looking at the cause, then you will always have a low mood. The cause is in the past. So the only way to move forwards is to change the way you move forwards and the only way you can do that is by becoming happy. Trust me! Becoming happy is what will help you overcome depression!

If you don’t want cancer again you have to change the way you live. I am training myself to do the opposite to the habits formed by my regular appearances of depression. Because after all it’s how we respond that matters!

Enjoy being different! But also remember it will pass and your not defined by your thoughts, you can change them. Your defined by what you choose to do.

Thank God for Jesus!

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram

@fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share

with others, if it meant something to you, it will to some

one else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post!

Will you?

Copyright ©2018

Holding back the tears

Tags

attitude, become, desire, destiny, encouragement, energy, faith, new, Peace, strength, survived, tears

I have just been talking to our friend who comes every week and makes living easier. She a beautiful soul and someone I can cry in front of; and many times I have. She reminded me this morning of why we have tears, the purpose behind them. I always say that a tear is pain we have within us being released in a natural way. When people grieve there are tears, when we have pain there are tears. Yet so many are used to holding them back. Do we think that holding back tears is a good thing. Why is it a good thing? So others can’t see weakness maybe. So you continue to look strong in others eyes. Well that’s a pride thing, to even worry about what someone else things can be pride. It is also something that means we are considering others which is a good thing so we should not confuse the two.

I remember when I was having I C E chemo to prepare me for my transplant how painful it was. Yet tears back then were just releasing the pain given to me by that nasty chemo. I had to break it down into sections. Sections that meant I had small goals that I achieved even through the tears there could be victory. Small goals are important. Tears seem never ending when dealing with grief sometimes. I liken it to a tunnel, a dark black tunnel that seems to have consumed you. But as I am sat here writing this blog on Friday 9th November 12.09pm. I have realised something. That even a hole has to have an end, be it the other side or the bottom of it. A tunnel has an end, in fact often there is light at the end. It leads me to think about the real purpose of a tear. While we know tears cleanse our bodies, releasing chemicals that are not required. Do they not also cleanse our soul.

You know that the bible even teaches us as Jesus talked to his disciples, preparing them for his death. Saying

“Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds”

This verse has been translated over and over again. Some miss it’s purpose. But in honesty it’s Jesus way of teaching us that what we want to be, who we are proud of. Has to die, or we will not be the blessing to others that we hope to be.

Tears are symbolic of pain being released from our bodies and are an integral part for us to reach the end of our journey. Tears are NOT a sign of weakness they are your bodies way of dealing with things. It’s a natural way for us to gain strength in the future. Actually I would go so far as to say the purpose of this blog is to help you realise that tears have a purpose. They are there for our benefit. Letting tears go, helps us to heal. They really do, each one is a part of your pain smashing to the ground and never to return. Allowing yourself time to grieve over what ever it is that’s changed in your life is very important.

‘

Did you know that cancer carers and suffers suffer grief. Do you know why? It’s because part of you is no longer going to be you in the future. So some hold back the tears, it’s their way of holding onto who we are not what we will become. I can’t believe that I am having to look at new ways of being mobile as the pain in my hips does not ever disappear. It takes a colossal amount of pain killers just to get we up and out the house. Yet even in that there are positives to find. But let’s not digress.

While the old you maybe gone, while someone you love maybe gone. While the life you knew maybe different, our bodies empathise and wants you to come to that important place of acceptance .

What you were will never be who you become anyway, so tears are a good thing, they pave the way for the new you that you will become.

The one thing cancer treatment does do for us, is give us a goal. It gives us a series of days that make us cry, yet when the tears subside. We will see sunshine on a different day, we will leave the journey behind and although the affects of treatment are not pleasant. The fact we have life still remains. Allow yourself to cry, allow your body to deal with what you are going through. It’s important for you to be able to empathise with others, having gone through the tunnel others that face it will want to know about your experiences.

Tears actually lead to strength. The question is after reading this blog post will you “hold back the tears” or will you allow yourself to be the new you that you are becoming?

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Instagram
@fonzymark
Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share
with others, if it meant something to you, it will to some
one else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post!
Will you?
Copyright ©2018

The acceptance bridge.

Tags

achieve, desire, destiny, encouragement, future, games, hope, invictus, life, love, pressure, survived, transplant

Wow, the meeting I had today; maybe I will tell you about ‘the man in the mirror ‘ one day. But hey not to fast I need you to know about some other things first. Not least being a blog I must write called ‘Perspective’. Maybe a tool that’s used to get to the acceptance bridge. Imagine if you will, a bridge in front of you, the bridge leads to somewhere else. Yet your struggling to cross it, medication, pain, hurt and stubbornness are in the way along with, hospital visits, more medicine, distraction, feelings of failure, and thoughts of giving up. Wanting to be who we were bing the biggest and deepest crevasse between you and the bridge are there for a reason.

You see, people see the bridge as, a bridge to far. The last effort and what would remain of yourself when you get to the other side. Well that was me anyway, and I can’t see that I am much different to anyone else. The acceptance bridge has worry, uncertainty, despair and fear on the bridge all of which we need to face and move away from. Yet some of what’s on the bridge will be on the other side also. Crossing the bridge is a very pivotal point in our lives. People always want what we were and not what we will become. Yet what we become has many gifts. Perseverance, experience, hope, love, and faithfulness. There are many more gifts across the other side to. We will have been honed, moulder and made into a quite possibly better you. Your experiences will have taught you how to be strong. That tears are ok, that it’s ITS OK TO NOT BE OK that many things we were are ok to be in the past.

What we hope for, what we dream of. The things we experience in our lives help us to be able to Empathise with others where if we had not been where we were. Then how could we possibly be able to.

The acceptance bridge is special and no bridge is the same they are all unique. No one one can walk over your bridge. ONLY YOU! No one can take your place it’s your bridge made up of your life, your choices and things you have beaten conquered and helped people through. You are amazing that’s for sure, but I want you to believe with me that crossing the bridge means you will be empowered to do things in the future. Your experience is what will help you across.

The bridge means this, Accepting who you were and looking forwards to who you are and will become. Because once you accept, what was. That enduring that in your life has meant you are a new you and a better you because of what you were. What’s the point in regret anyway. Let’s look forwards to what lies ahead on the other side of the bridge. Embrace it and move forwards knowing you past is not a part of your future but it has helped you become who you are today.

Accept who you were and allow yourself to look back, but only to see how far you have come. You may not be as strong physically. But your stronger in other ways because of the choices others made and you so you have become the diamond you are. Walk across the acceptance bridge and embrace who you have become.

stop trying to be who you were, and accept who you are. God accepts you, so why won’t you. Life is Gods gift to you, what you do with it is your gift to God.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Instagram
@fonzymark
Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share
with others, if it meant something to you, it will to some
one else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post!
Will you?
Copyright ©2018

Empathy

Tags

attitude, awareness, cancer, destiny, encouragement, energy, friends, perspective, struggle, survived, transplant

You ever thought about Empathy, how important a word it is. Or even what it’s true meaning is? It’s something that people do not use; unless they have experienced something similar to another. Unless we have been through something similar to someone else, we don’t have the gift of empathy. We can only sympathise with someone. Although it’s a great thing to be able to sympathise with someone’s situation, we can all do it. We all know how to sympathise. Yet to be able to Empathise is but a special gift.

To empathise we have to have worn the t shirt, to have walked the steps someone else has and have experienced a similar journey. That’s why our Cancer stories group on Facebook is so special. We all have walked in each other’s shoes and know how hard it is to walk those steps. A story comes to my mind that’s very off piste or shall we say a different topic all together. Yet those that understand will empathise with me.

Oh how I remember so well being in a service (church service) in okehampton Devon. When the welsh pastor David, with great passion and vigour. Put his shoes in the middle of the isle. He had been getting criticised for his methods. But you know how, behind his back. People were slating him. So he asked everybody in the church if they would like to step into his shoes, that if they thought they could do a better job. That he would step down and let someone else. No one empathised and no one stepped in his shoes. He carried on for many years later.

An example of how empathy can help someone in their life is, something we have endured personally. We can put our arm around the person knowing that we can encourage them that they can. That although difficult we know how hard it is. But we have come out of the other side. It’s like that with this blog. That I empathise with many people on many different levels because of the terrible bone marrow transplant I have had. I understand the risks and the euphoria at being able to beat the beast they call cancer. That although I was given weeks to live that I still have life. Sad then that people don’t use the opportunity to use the special gift of Empathy.

People say, “It happened for a reason” what a load of rubbish that I got cancer for a reason. But wait, don’t I always find a positive somewhere? Well the positive is Empathy because unless you have suffered something yourself then how can you empathise with another. It’s a special gift and maybe just maybe you can give someone hope because of your experiences. Yes Cancer or any disease is terrible. My wife lost both her parents to cancer at 59 and 63. Yet she is able to empathise with people that lose their parents to early. Life’s a gift and so are our experiences if we choose to shift our perspective.

Pistyll Rhaeadr near Llangynog north wales.

You think it’s a small trickle till you see the bigger picture.

See it’s not what’s happened or happening to us that has to change. It’s how we look at it in our own minds that truly matters. Using the things that have made us miserable to give someone else hope. That they may learn that there is light at the end of their tunnel like there was in yours. You see even in death there is something to bless someone with. So I am writing this that you may see a different way of thinking, in the hope that others will be blessed because of you. Because of what you have endured someone will find blessing, hope and comfort. Just because you have empathised with another. Such a special gift, yet so many people leave the wrapping on and the beautiful bow and never open the box of Empathy because it hurts so much. Yet when it’s opened, so much can be given to someone else because of you.

Amazing don’t you think. So next time you have the opportunity. What will you do? Empathise, or sympathise?

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
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@fonzymark
Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share
with others, if it meant something to you, it will to some
one else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post!
Will you?
Copyright ©2018

ITS OK TO NOT BE OK

Tags

anxiety, BTS, cancer, carer, carers, depression, encouragement, health, honest, love, mental health, mind, wellbeing

It’s ok to be not ok

This Turkey holiday has taught me a valuable lesson. One that will change the course of my life for ever. A seemingly throw away statement from a friend to me. Leaning on our balcony having a friendly chat to my dear friend Johnny. It’s the biggest lie we tell and the most often. Why is it that our response to “Are you alright” is “Yea ok thanks”when we are so not. It’s funny because not very long ago I gave an honest answer to my day when he asked if I was ok. We talked about how I was feeling, my dad and Mom (I spell it like that) to.

True friends want to know how you truly feel when they ask that question. Do we not do them an injustice by just saying that your fine when your not? Should we not give them more respect. Should we not say “Actually I am not” to be honest with ourselves aswell as others.

You all know I suffer greatly with nerve pain and find it hard just to communicate sometimes. Pain can be really debilitating and can seriously affect all aspects of life. It’s ok to not be ok, is a new way of thinking for me. Many hours out of a day I am not ok. But yet now I find I am able to deal with it purely by my new way of thinking, compliments to my dear friend that is always so honest with me.

He continued by saying that he accepts me warts and all and does not want to change me. only for me to realise that its ok to Not be ok. Its a revalation to me and will help me mentally in the future. I think there are only a few pwople i can say that i am not ok to and thats ok. Yet oh so many people just think your winging and want you to be positive all the time.

Well i am sorry, its not possible and just to be able to say “actually i am having a bad day” is release in itself, to feel valued enough that your honest with a person is priceless. its nice to ask someone how they are but, the response is of great value also. why cant we just be honest, and say it how it really is. i guess being able to do that means you have a true friend, someone that truly cares. How much balue does that hold for you, or do you actually cover up how you feel and are not even hoest with yourself.

I love to be honest with our Cancer stories group, because we empathise with each other on different levels. That brings me onto tomorrows post which is on the word Empathy. Not everyone can empathise and that to is a special gift. So what will you choose to be next time your asked if your ok? Will you be honest or just cover up as normal. I think being able to be honest with yourself, and with others is a very special way to be.

Do you?

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Instagram
@fonzymark
Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share
with others, if it meant something to you, it will to some
one else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post!
Will you?

Copyright ©2018

Be kind to yourself.

Tags

destiny, encouragement, energy, faith, friends, hope, life, Oscar Wilde, relentless, struggle, survived, trending, twitter

Do you ever do that? Worry about what someone thinks of you, then that changes the course of your day. Your month or even your year. Words are cheap, yet they can have a lasting effect on someone’s life. What you say to yourself can be unhealthy, even damaging to yourself. Maybe you value another’s opinion to highly, you stop doing what you want to do because your worried about what someone thinks of you.

“To love oneself ” whote Oscar Wilde “is the beginning of a life long romance!”

Well I am going to stop chastising myself, stop changing my direction because someone’s opinion is different to mine. My opinion matters. But more than that, being restricted by someone else’s standards. Because you don’t want them to see you. Putting on a face all the time, and not allowing myself the moments of ‘not being ok’ that sometimes your not happy and the constant pain does indeed sleigh the giant from time to time. That it’s ok to feel something, to feel something means an incredible thing. It means you have something that can’t be bought, you can’t see it, you can’t borrow it, or be given it. Yet something more powerful than you would believe.

PASSiON!

If you feel it you have a drive others don’t, yet passion comes from integrity and doing what you believe to be 100% honest and true. No non. You either have passion or you don’t. You can’t do anything to get it. It’s a gift.

So in short I owe it to myself and everyone who will read this. To be myself, and to be ok with not being ok. That people actually like the normal mark. The mark that has integrity. (Thanks Rob Fischbeck)

What ever it is you do, don’t cut your nose off to spite your face. Embrace what you may learn and move forwards being kind and gentle towards yourself. People will like the real you, I know I have tried it many times.

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

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Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share

with others, if it meant something to you, it will to some

one

else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright ©2018

Life and death.

Tags

encouragement, faith, friends, health, hope, love, loved, Peace, weakness

Over the last few days I have been breaking my heart, the loss of my friend from my school days has really ripped into me. So I have had to go through a process of elimination. To take each step as I find it, yet realising such a hard lesson. That friendships (some at least) were never meant to be permanent. It is indeed right to compare this to a tree.

Our Damson tree

During my journey through life, I have expected to much from people due to my willingness to give so much. Yet I find in this time of deep sadness at a friend from schools death. That I have wasted so much time being disappointed! It’s my fault I have been this way. I expected to much of those around me.

Taken from Simons Facebook.

I have said many times. “That if you have more than 5 true friends it’s to many.”

Take a tree. We will use the tree as an example of people in our lives. That some people we meet are like leaves, that it’s beautiful to see them. But they are there for a purpose (maybe bear fruit) and a short time. The time could be as long as 6 months but one day you won’t even see them again. A gust of wind will come and their life will take a new direction and they will actually be “gone with the wind”

Others are part of the tree but through periods of no rain.(not seeing each other) the twigs break off and carried away by some way that may not be nature. Maybe a dog picks it up and moves it somewhere else. Not everything will go the way we want it to. Because there are to many things outside of our control. People move and you lose touch. Yet you remember them with such fondness. As you get older you know more people, and of course more people will have come in and out of your life.

My wife always says, “it’s the people who are prepared to push the limo when it’s out of fuel that are true friends” even some people at work we find out are actually real friends.

One of my true friends is without doubt a root that holds your tree in the ground. There will not be a time when we lose that. Your parents and siblings should be those roots and your faith should be the tap root. The strongest root of all.

My mistakes in life, are always that I expected to much of people, disappointment and low feelings of upset and of loss of joy.

Jesus said “I am the way, the truth and the life” but that’s not correct on it’s own. The next part reads “No one comes to the father except through me” things are great to have, and I have enjoyed things a lot in my life. Experiences, home, love, and patience. Yet I have wondered in my life, why people don’t do what they say they will. Because it’s something I do my best to do.

Well let me start again, to move forwards with no expectations rather that than the disappointment I have had all of my life. If in life your expectations are exceeded, surly that is kinder on yourself than expecting more than you were ready for. We are all growing and just because someone grows apart, or in a different way, or even place. That does not mean it should or could be hurtful. It comes back again to our own perspectives then doesn’t it surely.

Love what you have right now, but don’t expect something or someone to be in your future because that may not be in the master plan.

I remember going and watching Oasis at Heaton Park in Manchester. Wow what an amazing experience that was. Yet I can’t stand the group. My wife made a sign, her mum Norma died at age 63. We sent the sign forwards as she grew up on the same estate as the oasis brothers did. The sign read.

“Norma would have been here, but it was not a part of the Master plan”

So my friend, thanks for all the times we shared. Thanks for the love you gave in your life that you chose to end. I won’t forget you. After all you were the first to say hi by that tuck shop. Brigsy. You never truly found peace, you always were looking for something else. But what you looked for always shined, people that were fun. Yet now it’s time to say goodbye. but knowing that now for sure you have found peace. You can rest now Si.

See you soon Brigsy! but not yet.

Fonzy

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

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Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share

with others, if it meant something to you, it will to some

one

else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright ©2018

Depression.

Tags

cancer, Compassion, depression, encouragement, hope, life, live, love, together

Today’s not a day I want to repeat, the feelings of giving up and jumping off the planet are all consuming. No one can see in our heads and if there was a door I would say. Please don’t open it. My mental health it has to be said is not right, the list is long as to why. But I guess it’s normal for people, and I won’t be the first to feel like life’s not worth it. Thank God for my dogs that follow me absolutely everywhere. Accepted without judgement. There are things going on in my life and finding a lump in my body has just messed with my Melon. I am struggling really badly right now. The sun is shining, yet all I can see is darkness and negativity.

Normally my blog posts are to encourage others, but today I am weak. Feeling low in worth and feel like jumping. I am holding on but only just, is there anyone out there with experience. That they have been where I am maybe.

I guess it’s all normal, but I don’t like it and I don’t like life either. I feel like I am on a raft in the middle of the sea and all I can see is a storm. Pain is a constant and while I have made in roads to be a good influence on others right now I could happily just leave the planet with no regrets.

I feel worthless right now, almost like I am in the way of others. I have become depressed with the constant stabbing pain. I can’t escape it’s there always. When I go to sleep, in my dreams and when I wake. It’s like I have been buried in pain and it grinds away your happiness.

Why would someone who has fought so hard to live end up with a want to die? Only driving in my TVR does the pain disappear. You can’t do that all the time.

Maybe I have written how I feel just for me,

but it’s here for the world to see.

How long will it be for me,

To live a life with warmth and know no pain.

It’s my 50th yr and it does not even feel like it’s something to celebrate. How strange after such a long fight. Then the thoughts of what I have found, what is it. Please not again, surly not again.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

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Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.

Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share

with others, if it meant something to you, it will to some

one

else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright ©2018

Divorced people are amongst the most lonely in the world.

Tags

cancer, encouragement, faith, Families, family, friends, happiness, health, Hodgkins, hope, life, love, survivor

A divorce is like a death, it is for sure the same and certainly no one will understand unless they know the hurt that’s felt, when someone they love dies. I would like to think that all people marry because they love each other and believe that to be case in most marriages. It certainly was for me, yes that’s right I was married before as was my now wife.

When someone gets divorced, they carry hurt, Pain, and a feeling of failure. In my own experience it’s hard to see people siding with one or the other. No one truly knows what’s gone on except the people involved. Yet all that the people experiencing the separation yarn is what they got married for. They yearn love, and they look for a way to get rid of the pain. That’s why you see so many people drinking to excess, taking drugs and perhaps even ending their own life because they don’t feel it’s worth living anymore. I know how all that feels, the desire to not feel the hurt anymore.

You hear friend say that they are looking forwards to their own life changing events, a baby, marriage, a christening, you want to feel happy for them so so bad. But you just feel like the loneliest person in the room, everyone does not understand you. They just see what they thing we should be doing. To love someone is the most beautiful thing, yet in divorce it so quickly turns to hate. Everyone seems to see solutions where all you want is for the Pain to go away. The talking stops and the thought that you ever loved that person just seems so inconceivable.

I mean what is it we all want in life?

I would say that there is only one thing on this earth that has ultimate importance. It’s a concoction that we all crave to meet this end goal. That life gives us that one thing. It comes through, faith and love. Consideration for others, friendship. It comes through giving, through laughter and being around people that care about you and don’t want something from you. It comes through hugs, from having a good family. Yet someone going through divorce will not feel it, they have so much more to overcome before becoming happy. That’s it isn’t it, that we all aim to be happy in life and to find that balance has a high value. If not the most important thing in life is to be happy.

Everyone of us can be that small part of that concoction for some happiness. My challenge to you today, is that you can be a part for someone’s happiness. That someone who is enduring a divorce or a loss needs our love not our sympathy. They need our arm around them to tell them that they are important, they are loved and have value.

I think the key is not to judge what has happened, or who’s at fault rather love the person. Remembering that rejection which is what divorce is, can result in devastating consequences. Not to long ago a distant friend of mine (our electrician) committed suicide because the divorce was so messy. Going round to see him with some ring donuts and phone calls to lift him. We’re not enough, or maybe there just we’re not enough people that helped to lift him up. I cared about him and did my best to help him to come through. But ultimately he was not happy, that was missing in his life.

Our girls puppies

Happiness was not a part of his life, rejection took over and Gary could cope no more. That’s what we need to nurture in life. The situations and people that bring us happiness, and the feelings that go with that. Happiness is a priceless gift and one to be cherished.

The point of this blog is to remind you of what’s important, happiness. Bathe in it and enjoy it like the new morning sun. Happiness is peace, and peace is acceptance. Those 3 things are without doubt a recipe for a disease and stress free life. I have experienced the latter and for sure seek happiness over anything that’s going to rob me of it. If it’s not going to bring some joy in the end I tend to steer away from it. Life’s to short that’s for sure.

Have a great week.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

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Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

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Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)

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Everything you read, are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. People share with others, if it meant something to you, it will to someone

else. All images are from a Google search. Or my olwn, taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright ©2018

Moving on. Dogs do.

Tags

attitude, awareness, cancer, desire, destiny, encouragement, facebook, faith, gift, happiness, health, moveon, twitter

Hey guys, sorry I have not written in a while. I have been having my own experience in real life as apposed to in the social spotlight. I have been leading about dogs and am thinking the more I think about it my place is to work with dogs and to learn more about our relationships with them. One thing I have learnt from dogs perhaps through a friends dog aswell as my own experience. That is that dogs don’t let their past affect their future with the right guidance. I would like personally to learn more about helping people to have better relationships with their dogs so that both can enjoy a better life.

I don’t think a dog forgets that they were badly treated. I think they remember and move on from it even though it’s part of their life.

I know people expect me to move on from my cancer journey, and some may think it’s bizarre that it’s still affecting me to this day. Well like a dog, I can’t forget it, and find it hard to move on as the pain does not help me to forget all the treatment, procedures, and chemicals that I have had put into my body. Chronic pain is a part of my life and while I hoped it would disappear. It hasn’t. So guess what. I have to move on. I need to allow the past to help me rather than hinder me. To allow my past to shape me but not control me.

In the future I would dearly love to be able to stand in front of people and encourage them that they can overcome the situations that they have found themselves in, Be it disease, abuse, or a victim of another situation. Most people I guess use God, but one thing I detest are people that just pray and then don’t follow it up with action. It’s like someone sending an email and not following it up with a phone call. “I have sent an email, I am just waiting for a reply” is Not taking control of your destiny.

If you apply for a job, why just send a C.V. Why would you not follow it up with a phone call to the recipient. I tell you now, you will be a stand out candidate for the position as you will have spoken to your employer. It’s about taking some kind of control over your own destiny. Following your words with action.

TAKE CONTROL

In my opinion the biggest problem with dogs behaviour is humans ability to react and know what to do, and what not to do. My dogs are not allowed to jump up at people when they enter our house, and incidentally they are not allowed in our house without wiping their feet. They don’t get fed unless they sit. Oh they also bow and pray before they eat to. They are not allowed on the sofa unless there is a cover on it and they are invited. I choose that our dogs will be pub dogs, dogs we can take to visit others.

Is it wrong that we expect our dogs to have standards, that we don’t want children to be knocked down due to their bad behaviour. No of course not, their has to be boundaries, or children will get hurt. People will get hurt, and for sure we don’t want that.

My point is that, I am finding it hard to move on from my cancer. But now the time, although I will for sure not stop allowing my experience to shape my future. But I need to stop letting it dominate my life, and start allowing it to shape my future. My future is without cancer, and there are for sure people that have helped me without even knowing it. Babies die, children and young people have their lives taken. For sure those facts make me totally grateful to be in my 50th year. A mile stone that needs to be celebrated rather than anticipating another relapse. You can achieve what ever you choose to do, myself personally I have found it difficult to live with Pain rather than moving on from having Pain. Rather to get to the point of acceptance like in my last blog. I know we are all a work in progress and I for sure want to progress, rather than not moving on. So thank you all of you that are friends on here, people that have helped me along the way.

drayo308

Walt

Michael33

Liz

Many many more.

But now the time for me to move on and maybe my blog will take a different turn, but fonzandcancer will always be a blog and maybe even a book one day. Time to move on but learn from my past.

Bless you all, and thank you for reading. It means the world.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram

@fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.

Everything you read aure better based on my own experipence and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Pleople share with others, if it meant something too you it will to someone

else. All images are from a Google search. Or my olwn, taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright ©2018

Higher your standards.

Tags

achieve, attitude, desire, encouragement, facebook, happy new year, health, help, hope, love, motivation, twitter, Writing

2017!

What Has that meant to you? Are you a better person at the end of 2017 than at the beginning? As you reflect on your year, have you had a good effect on the world. Or have you gone through the year just paying the bills going to work, to find you owe a little less on your mortgage than you did in 2016. Are you happy to step or do you want to stride. You know neither is wrong right? You know that what you choose to do is ok and that your choices are not wrong. Just different to everyone else’s.

What’s in your mind as you live each day? To get through it or to become a better you, to learn from the mistakes you may have made. Remember, if someone else thinks you made a mistake. Their standards maybe lower than yours, you may have a completely different way of thinking to them. Opinions are not wrong, because they are theirs and not yours.

I have made many mistakes this year, I have had personal struggles and for sure made efforts to be a better me. That means I may have moved on, or maybe had the same struggles over and over again because I have not highered my standards.

If we never higher our standards and always have the same ideas, we will just go round and round in the same circles as you always have done. At one point in my life I was happy with a tiny little stream, until the day I realised that it was as much work to look after a bigger pond than the tiny stream I had. We had a bridge, we still have the same bridge. It’s just that the area the fish have to swim in is a lot bigger. 5m long infact. Which actually is the exact length of the old one, it’s just it’s deeper and has a far bigger volume. We have fish in the new pond that were in the old one. But I like to think that they enjoy being in the bigger pond more than the small stream. We have moved forwards in my opinion, creating something better for the fish.

Because we have higher standards we are able to have bigger fish in there. It’s more enjoyable for us and hopefully more enjoyable for the fish also. I think quite possibly when we do have higher standards, that other people have a better time aswell. Yet my first stream was amazing, better than not having a stream right. So that’s my point. Doing something good is most certainly better than doing something bad. But what ever it is you do do, maybe it would be a good thing to improve on that in the future.

What you did this year may not have been bad, but for sure 2018 brings you new opportunities to be a better you. You have the chance to do something new, be someone better. To higher your standard is a special gift to the world and yourself. Yesterday will remain in history, yet today you have a chance to change your tomorrow.

My challenge to you is to be a better you than you were in 2018. I know that’s what I will do. I will exercise more, care more, love more and higher my standards. Will you?

Have a great 2018 and here’s to being better than we were, not accepting what we have become. But being a better us in 2018.

Happy new year everyone.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

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Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.

Everything you read are better based on my own experipence and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Pleople share with others, if it meant something too you it will to someone

else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright ©2017

I feel like saying goodbye.

Tags

BBC, cancer, desire, encouragement, hope, mo, motivation, personality, survived, together

I can honestly say if I knew life would be like this that I would not have had a transplant at all. I have been patient and although the doctors said I will be better after a 2 year period. I am not. Everyday I do my very best to be upbeat and helpful and encouraging to people. Yet I am sat here feeling sad with a lump in my throat. It feels unfair to go through so much and to give with your whole heart yet still feel like this. I know for sure other people will feel the same way but are afraid to be honest. Well I am if one thing, not afraid, everyday I stand when my body says no, everyday I smile when my body says cry. But some days like today, I have to allow myself the honesty to myself. Everyday I do my best yo lift others, but it’s not possible when I can’t (yup I said it) even lift myself. My spirit is torn and my mind wonders how long I can carry on feeling like this. I keep myself busy so as the pain depletes, you can’t feel pain whilst focused on something else.

Well pain, today you win. You have dragged me to the depths I did not feel possible. I have very strong pain killers, OxyContin and gabapentin. Sometimes I need two of each just to complete a day. What people’s opinions of me don’t seem to matter anymore. My dignity has been taken and another’s opinion has near no effect on me these days. What did I have the transplant for? To render me unable, to make me depressed. Well I fight both of those each day, aside of that encouraging others that they can as well. Because if I can you can right.

Yet although my honesty is unrivalled here, I still have a small smoulder that needs fanning to make the fire. So now even though all is seemingly against me! I will look for positives where I am unable to see. Not even the birds sing today, but like Job. I will rejoice anyway, I will say thank you for what has been given to me. Life where I should have non, warmth that I should not feel. Acceptance of what has been taken away and gratefulness for what I still have. This is a true battle today, one I must be grateful to have. Because without a battle, how can you win. Giving up means defeat, slumping because of the torment of pain. But NO I will not, I will win the battle and understand one day why it had to be won. Today I have the victory, because Jesus paid the price.

So with a thankful heart, and a grateful soul. I say thank you lord for the prickles, because without the prickles there would be no blackberries.

I hope you win your battle today to.

Smile at someone, you could help them find some sunshine.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

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Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.

Everything you read are better based on my own experipence and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Pleapse share with others, if it meant something tou you it owill to someone

else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright ©2017

Don’t let anyone steal your dream!

Tags

can, desire, Do, encouragement, facebook, faith, foundations, GOD, health, hope, life, Lord'sPrayer, love, meaning, rises, somebody, survived, survivor, twitter, world

Dear life, thank you for the doubters. Thank you for the people that thought I can’t. Thank you for the people that want to discourage me to remain in a box they see is fit for me. Thank you for the people that think a way is ok for them, because they are the people that make me want to be something. They are the people that make me want to and not try to. People talk to me about what they want to do, and I rarely hear people talk about what they will do.

One thing I love to do in my life is to encourage other people. For many years I have considered what to do with my life, what business to be involved in. Yet, it’s always been staring me in the face. It’s not about a product, or bad circumstances. It’s about my state of mind, about what I am am determined to do. When you are determined to achieve something for sure you will achieve it. It got me thinking about the things I have been determined to get, the things that I have been determined to get but did not achieve. Negative? For sure not. It also hit me thinking about the things I wanted to do and which of those I achieved. Then the things I have been told in my life I can and can’t achieve.

Is life really about circumstances? Does disease really have any right what so ever to take away your dreams. Why have you not got the car you want, why are you not in the house you want to be in. The watch you want is still in the shop and you are making do with one that’s perfunctory. You want to be in a detached house yet you live in a semi. You hate your train journey to work, your job is not what you want. You feel depressed, your in a life that you feel your being treated unfairly or that you have been given a bad hand that life has not treated you right. Who on earth has the right to do that, why do you do that.

I love it personally when people tell me “you can’t” because I am very stubborn which makes me want to prove people wrong. It makes me want to say. “Really, well I don’t feel the same way” I weight trained 3 times a week for 2 1/2 years. NOTHING would stop me. Why was that though? When we bought our second house together, it HAD to be detached. When we bought our dog car it had to be a certain car, yet a few years previous I made do. Although maybe we allowed our circumstances to dictate to us what that car would be.

It’s time for change, but how what will that involve. A job? An online business? Well I have my ideas, I have the solution and so do you. It’s staring you in the face as well. That you and only you have the answer.

Raise your standards, because you will always get what you HAVE to have. Never in the world have people had what they want in their mind. YOU have the opportunity to achieve, there is no possibility here. There is a reality here, that you have right in front of you. Commitment to the end goal will bring an achievement. Doing something over and over and over and over again. What ever that is that your committed to you WILL achieve it. 7 years ago I became passionate about getting well. I did not just want to be well again though, I wanted to be cured. To rise up once again and to help others to believe that they can also have a better day tomorrow. Yet I believe that what matters the most is TODAY, not the next day. Get rid of the people in your life that hold you back. Show me a man that said I could not beat cancer, I will tell you now they are no longer in my life. Get rid of anything that holds you back, it does not matter what that is.

“Who has the right to stop you” nobody! Yet you stop you all the time because your standards are to low.

I want you to know today, that what you have failed at in the past does not make you a failure. What makes you a failure is not getting up again and perusing your passion. Perusing your dreams. Dreams are normally more than what you have, unobtainable. But I want to challenge you today to stand up and say “I am going to fulfil my dreams” see you are the problem, that your thinking, your mind what you choose to be. Will actually be.

Einstein said “imagination is more important than knowledge”

What do you want? To be influenced, or to be a person that influences others? That’s my question to you.

I have been frozen, I have been held back by others opinions. You have the power to be who ever you want to be, you have the power to bring into your life what ever it is that you want in your life. There are a lot of complainers, excuse makers. People that don’t mind settling for what they have, people that let things happen to them.

No ones journey is easy, but you do have the chance each day to ‘Become’ you have the choice to think what you think. Success is a journey that starts with what you choose to think about. You really think you can be the best if you don’t do anything about it. I want you to believe today, that this one sentence is true. “That anything is possible”

If you don’t try then where is your hope, hope is something that becomes faith. I started writing a book some time ago, I for sure have been plagued with stumbling blocks in my life, but no more than someone else has. What’s wrong with me is that I have listened to some negativity in my life. That my thoughts that I have chosen have led to some of my failings. We have all had bad things happen to us, but your thoughts, hope, belief, and getting back up that matters. True failure is not trying at all.

Don’t get in line because other people are, dare to make your own line. The one you dream of.. I guess this blog could be deemed ‘the law of attraction’ get rid of the people who hold you back and start your own line, be a line maker not a person that’s happy to que. my wife will read this after she has watched her Derby day. What’s funny about that is that she found herself queuing on 2 occasions today. Both times she chose to leave that que and come home to enjoy home instead.

You are what you think you are and my challenge to you is, that choose not to talk yourself out of your dreams like I have for 30 years. That you stand and act on your dreams. That you drop the negatives. You have learnt the fear of failure like I have. Well today I am am starting a new line, a line where I am going to stop listening to the negatives even if they come from myself.

You have a lot to offer the world, you also have a lot to give to yourself. Step out of the boxes the world puts you in, because your an amazing person with more to offer than you know. What people say about you, does NOT have to become your reality.

Do what you love, just do that. That’s your new line. You deserve to find your purpose! You don’t deserve to hear the play it safe speech. Because non of us will get out of this alive and that’s a fact, so we might aswell do what we love right? Keep stepping forwards, keep being positive. Keep practicing, keep believing in your dreams because they are there for a reason.

Write 5 reasons why you won’t give up! Make them your reasons to carry on.

Have a great week,

I look forwards to hearing you comments.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram

@fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.

Everything you read are better based on my own experipence and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage yoou. Pleapse share with others, if it meant something tou you it owill to someone

else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright ©2017

You are what you say you are.

Tags

blessing, hope, live, marrow, meaning, will

For me I believe in blessings and curses, I believe what you say is what you will be or become, and that your words can go even deeper than that. How many times have you said it “I am useless” “I can’t” well I am with you, although I expect more from myself these days.

Having been faced with losing my life, I know everyday I am also faced with life itself. That the gift of life is so very precious and knowing that, that it’s important to make each day count all the more. That’s why I make a conscious effort to speak life into people’s life’s including my own. Say you can’t, you will be right. Because the universe heard you say it. Say you can and you will be equally right. Positivity is possible every single day. If positivity is something you choose, then it’s something that will happen in your life. Choose to gain for yourself and not give to others you will live a pointless life with no meaning and for sure you will not feel the beauty of giving.

The words you say, will work themselves out in the universe. Take me for instance, I said I had cancer once, I was 15 I knew no better. But I did indeed get cancer. Twice. Maybe I got it because I said I did anyway, or maybe I just got cancer!

Choose to say nice things to people, even with no money what so ever you can change a persons life. You can make a person feel good, and perhaps even help them to have a positive outcome where they may have previously not thought it possible. You have the ability to speak life into people’s lives. YOU have an opportunity to not only bless others but to bless yourself and your family but what you choose to say and do.

A person I have known for some years, was told that they were nothing, a failure, and someone no one would want to be with. Unattractive and many other demeaning words. It’s so so sad that people feel they have to be that way towards others. Seemingly to make themselves feel better, but I can assure you the person that spoke those words will have harmed themselves and the feeling of (making themselves feel good) will not have lasted or even happened.

You have a choice every second as to what you do with your life. To love, to hate. To give it to take. What ever you choose remember there is a consequence. Some consequences are good, not all are bad. What will you choose? That’s the question?

Fonz

Bless someone I dare ya.

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram

@fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience)

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others.

Everything you read are better based on my own experipence and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Pleapse share with others, if it meant something tou you it owill to someone

else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.

You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright ©2017

Stress is a killer. Some helpful tips on stress relief.

Tags

friends, internationalstressday, nationalstressawarenessday, nationalstressday, Stress, stressday

How are you doing today? Happy? I spoke to a guy today that has suffered with Depression all of his life, I won’t pretend to know what I am talking about or say I am an expert on the subject. Because for sure that’s not true, but what I can tell you how I have dealt with things. I know that when you shake a bottle of pop, then take the top off it goes absolutley everywhere. It’s the same with stress, I think personally that Anxiety and stress are in the same family and both CAN lead to a state of depression. Although I don’t understand fully the medical state of depression there are many thoughts I would like to talk about in this blog, and share my own experiences and talk about how I overcame stress. 

My first bit of advice to anyone that is suffering from stress is to make sure that non of what you feel belongs to someone else. For example the way someone parks outside your house. That someone has not finished something, the way people live their lives. Anything that’s not yours to worry about is NOTHING to do with you. 

The garbage truck Talks about that and how you have enough problems of your own without worrying about what others do, it just fills your back pack up with other people’s junk! What’s the point. 
The only way to over come stress in my mind is to Let it go. Look at it like this, that it’s a pop bottle with the top on it. That with the top on the pressure can build up, like us if we have no outlet at all! The stress builds up and can lead to serious illness. Where as a bottle with no top on can be poured out any time you like and no pressure builds up at all. 

Credits: Lukas Gojda/Shutterstock

So I have to go back to the man in the Dacia Duster again reversing into a space next to me and I was getting bothered about it. Why, just let it go, it is after all nothing to do with me what so ever.  Unless of course he had hit our car, then I would have had to react appropriately.

There are many tools available to us, mindfulness, mental health  is a real issue. (I know here I go again right) cancer changed my life and helped me see a new world. Although sometimes I let little things others do affect my day I do want to be a better person tomorrow than I am today. I learnt that if I have tension that I needed an out let. I don’t have the energy of a normal man, so excercise although important was and is not a method that keeps me stress free. So I had to achieve a number of things that did not involve expending energy. I thought maybe writing and having something to think about would help. So I started a blog and challenged myself to write everyday for a whole year. 365 blogs in 1 year. I did that and you are now reading the blog that I stated writing. 

To overcome stress, you need another focus, I have a car that I take out when I need a smile putting on my face. I will go out for a drive just to hear the exhaust note. 

When I was at my junior school I used to sit in front of a fish tank and watch the fish. Mr Glover thought this was a punishment to me, but I loved it so used to be naughty to get out of his boring lessons. The led to me having a pond where I watch my fish and allow my heart rate to be lowered, thus relieving me of stress. I believe stress leads to anxiety and depression, and is a serious problem that people need pressure releases to overcome it. Boxing, cycling, walking, swimming, a hobby like my fish are, boating, hill climbing, canoeing, shooting, classic cars, writing, art, gardening, being part of a group that challenges you. All these things release stress, I used to dance, (badly) but it released stress. Weight training helps to, as does anything that keeps coming into your mind like a job that needs doing in the house. Get it done and it’s not an issue anymore, that can cause stress to the  longer it goes on for. 

​​

​One thing I realise is no one will help you if you don’t help yourself. But helping yourself makes you feel good as does helping others. You will need to find your own stress reliever, but having our dogs is a massive stress reliever as are cats. Our cat was put down a few weeks ago which was sad. But times a healer, our two dogs have given us a new perspective and always are with us. 

Laughter with friends is the same as the whistle on an old kettle, actually why don’t all Kettles whistle when they boil? But that whistle is what’s happening to your body when you laugh, you let off steam. Only yesterday I talked to a friend about how important it is to have something to look forwards to and something that will help you release pressure from your system. Even a stress ball can help,

Signs you are stressed

Stress can be revealed in many ways, here are a few. People that are stressed respond differently to people that are relaxed. They snap, take things personally. They clench their fists, they don’t hug their partner enough. Take it out on their partner rather than talking about it and hugging it out. Stressed people also don’t make their bed and have piles of things yo do in the house that have mounted up. I know because I have been, and have created all these problems myself. You will go to bed and still be arguing, you will drive to fast. For me there are lots of things that don’t cost money that can help with stress relief. Time with friends and a game of pool is really good for mental health aswell. Your not a failure if your stressed you have just gotten into a situation where you have taken to many things on. Don’t take on any more and get the jobs ticked off one at a time and don’t look at it all at once. If you look at the 101 jobs that need doing you will never do even just 1 job. So just do one at a time. Once one is done move onto the next ect ect.

Trust me ticking some boxes, and having a holiday to look forwards to. Will help your mind set. We got back from Scotland and booked another cottage for next year. 2 weeks away with our dogs, my mum n dad will come and my brother and sister in law with my nephew Zac. It will be fun and something ahead we will enjoy together.

Take care of each other, your important. More important than you know. Make sure you look each other in the eyes and hug. Hugging and loving others is a tremendous way to relive stress. Say sorry, even if it’s not your fault. I tell myself. You don’t have to be right, it takes effort to be stress free. But for sure a stress free life is far better than anxiety and depression. Releasing your stress will go a long way to helping yourself in other areas of your life.

Hugs to you all, wow and thanks for reading. Just think if just by sharing this you helped someone. Just a thought.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Instagram

 @fonzymark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are better based on my own experipence and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Pleapse share with others, if it meant something tou you it owill to someone

 else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories every day.
You could change a life by sharing this post! Will you?

Copyright

love

Tags

belief, bible, concern, consideration, dogs, emothion, faith, fiendships, friendship, giving, insight, living, love, loved, lover, loving, quality, religeon, warm

I am writing a book, it’s been on the go for sometime. Unfortunately I keep making excuses not to pick it up again and really get stuck in. Not something I want to be doing in here anyway really. I am here to heal and beat Cancer. Today I am going to talk with about love made perfect. What perfect love is and how some of us aim for that goal and some just give up on it.

What does love mean to me? Love is unconditional, it just gives. It does not count how much something  costs, rather gives you overwealming joy to give love to someone everyday.

We have a dog she’s called faith

She is 1 of the rare pink nosed beasts. My brother also has a dog named coco Chanel, I call her hippo as she is allowed to gobble anything in her walk, after eight mints, cat food, treats often. Then we have this fine beast you see before you, well trained. Obedient and ball focused, she loves other dogs and does not try to dominate other dogs rather just love them. I think coco loves faith but not in quite the way that faith loves coco.

The love I am trying to exsplain though is nothing Like what coco thinks is love towards her cousin faith. These are 2 girls and coco has not realised that putting herself on faith is the right way, although it’s her way. Both girls need to be loved and are loved. Both are unconditional. Just I am not so sure both parties feel appreciative of the method. We all in life have different ways to show how we care. Show how we love.

“Love cures people,both the ones who give it, and the ones who receive it” Dr Karl Menninger

It’s clearly exsplained to us what love is in 1 Corinthians 13 of the bible (basic instruction before leaving earth) my friend Jimmy, sends me everyday some words of encouragement. He does not want anything in return. He gives freely his words as a gift from him to me. Which everyday has a knock on effect, and encourages me to write here blogs everyday.

As a Cancer suffer for some 7 years I have learned that we ( the sufferer ) can use this Cancer to benefit and encourage others. We are after all people on the same rd. the hardest people to love though are the ones that don’t see eye to eye with us. Love them anyway, try not to judge them. Just love them anyway. Don’t speak of it, bring them a coffee in the office every morning. Surprise them by being nice. I am always saying to my wife “it’s nice to be nice” be nice to that guy and love them without condition. The bible speaks of a statement that I follow.

  
 “You reap what you sow” I sow allot but reap sometimes. Cancer does not have to be a curse we can use it to bless others. In the heamatology ward at southport they have a drinks machine. When I go in for bloods ect I always go and speak to every person on the MDU and ask them if they need a coffee or tea. We Engadge in chatter if they like to. But no matter what happens I just love to see the smiles as my own heart gets warmed as well by doing such a menial thing. Finally perfect love CASTS out all fear. This is called agape. Google it and see for yourself.

I hope you have had a smile whilst reading this today, if you enjoyed it. Why not mail it to your friends to have a read. No one has passed my blogs on by mail as far as I am aware but I would appreciate it. Let’s make a domino effect of loving people today.

You in?

Mark