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When your fighting any illness I guess you find your self in a dark place, sometimes it’s a place where you don’t feel there is a way out. For me, that’s what the room was like, the place where I had my transplant. It was a place where I felt there was no end. I had to believe it without seeing, to believe we would make it be having faith.

  
I am a person that feels trapped in confined spaces, it’s a clostrafobic feeling where I feel the need to escape if I can’t see a light at the end of the tunnel. Or so I thought, let’s take the lazy river exsperience. Life jacket on, floating down the river at a pace that you choose through tunnels and round bends but not always being able to see where the tunnel ends. I remember asking my wife if she could see the end, we were in the dark tunnel but I could not see the end. All I had to go on is what my wife could see which was more than I. She told me she could see the way out, it was so very natural for me to just trust her. After all why would she lie to me, it was an easy thing for me to do. To trust the person I had chosen to spend my life with, to believe she was right. Which of course she was.

  
It’s also like that with friends we choose, we learn to trust them to believe in them. To know that they are there for us as well as them. It’s the same with doctors, medication. Anyone that has your life in their hands, it’s just us that stands in the way of a loving relationship with a person. 

I have learnt to  be frozen, I have learnt that people who choose to love us deserve trust. That life is about giving our best to those that choose to give us their best. That we have a responsibility to “let it go” so that it does not affect someone else. That trusting someone is priceless, it’s up to them to let you down or lift you up. But in the letting go you give others the freedom to love you without boundaries. I have met some awesome people of late, who have shown me what good people are. But I also remember that awesome people give their very best to each other. Second best is not good enough, so “let it go” just let it go.

  
Be frozen

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
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@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.

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