How humbled I am.

Tags

beareviment, believe, cancer, cudos, family, happines, healing, hope, human kindness, joy, love, LoveLoved, share, smile, survivor

How humbled I am.
Yesterday, I got my results that I worked so hard to get. Getting there meant giving up smoking, giving up a way of life really and living what I call a clean life. I put up in a couple of groups, rather gingerly I must say because beating cancer twice, was completely off topic for the groups I posted in. I wondered how people would respond. I worried that maybe people would make references to me posting something in a group that it was completely not about. Wow I need not have worried.

  
One group I posted in called “Benidorm – seriously” set up by a lady called Tracey Anne Essex received it really well, getting quite literally hundreds of messages from people all over the world. Do you know over 1,100 people have liked that post to date. Another group called “Leyland memories” a place where I grew up. Set up by Paul Gregson. Had the same post and again hundreds of people have wished us well, some having also seen the article in the Lancashire evening post. Reported by Aasma day 

http://www.lep.co.uk/news/community/cancer-fighter-mark-beats-disease-twice-despite-delayed-diagnosis-1-7481482

Again over 450 people have liked it there to, more people have joined our cancer stories support group to, just because I wanted people to know that cancer can be beaten. Now please don’t get me wrong it’s not easy to beat, it takes pure grit and determination. But it also takes support from people like Anne, and Paul who don’t know me by the way. It takes for people like that to be generous, understanding, and forthright. I have gained allot of courage from the gestures of all thes people that have commented. It’s been quite emotional seeing the numbers go up like seconds on a digital clock. I appreciate each and every one, I am just sorry I have not been able to respond to all your comments.

  
To beat cancer you need a support network, you need people around you that support you, having family that is there for you is one thing, but total strangers who don’t know you giving you kindness is just priceless and humbling at the same time. Here is the link to our group.
https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536
Never under estimate what your kindness means to a sufferer it enthuses, and gives energy to that person, just maybe knowing that there are people out there thinking about them gives you a little more energy to carry on. It’s not just the person having treatment, it’s the care givers that need support to. They are on their very own journey to, and need a support network in the same way. 

  
People have ( for some reason ) even when I was critically ill, come to me for support and advice. Which I gladly gave, and continue to do today. It’s not about cudos, it’s about sharing your experience, sharing how it was. That’s what cancer stories is all about, sharing with each other how we felt at certain times in the treatment process, for caregivers patients and people affected by it, having seen a friend or family member struggle with Cancer. It’s a nice place to be when you can put aside your own struggles, and offer some support, I don’t know maybe it makes us feel good to do that. What I do know is, the sun is rising on a new day, and I am privileged to be in it.

  
It’s made all the better by your human kindness, a smile does not cost much. Spread a little love, it costs nothing after all.
Have a great weekend
And thank you
All the best Mark
http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. It took me an hour to write, but will take you a second to share.

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The most important thing in life.

Tags

cancer, forgiveness, health, help, hope, love, nhs, winner

The most important thing in life.
You ever stopped to think what’s the most important thing on earth. Whats more important than anything else. I have had a dream for about a year now perhaps a little longer. Since I went to a lovely village in Pembrokeshire. A dream to live in a house there, and run a holiday cottage separate to the house. 

  
It’s something we all need, no one of us is excluded from animals to humans. We rely on it for our very existence, so much is dependant on it. As you all know by now I am recovering from cancer, in something that some call, Recovery, or remission. I have been here before, but the dream did not exist back then because I had never been to Pembrokeshire and seen the amazing place. You see, it really does not matter what your post code is as to where you have to go for check ups. Although it’s an awesome thing to think or even dream, to live the life we both dream of. Without my health I would not live any life, southport hospital has without doubt saved my life, twice. Without the team there I would not be living the life I have. So to move to another hospital where I don’t know anyone is daunting to say the least. I won’t have to, why? Because I am a fast tracked target patient. Why do I get this preferential treatment, well that’s because I invested in health care by agreeing to go on a trial that in years to come will help other patients.
  
Neither of us can see my health compromised, after all it’s the one thing that enables us all to do. What can we do without our health, unless of course you are an extra ordinary person like Stephen Hawkins, who goes to work every day by the way. I see people with all sorts of disorders when I go to the hospital where I am right now. People having to deal with all sorts of things, it’s humbling just to be able to talk with these people and share things with them.

Isn’t it amazing how our blood can defend against disorders in our bodies, without the NHS what would we do as a nation, how would we get better. It brings me to another fact of how the pharmaceutical companies make so much money in the process, but without them how would we get healed. Well I do think that there are ways of healing ourselves naturally, but who has those answers. I have a friend called Rob who is teaching me much about how to look after myself by what we do, say, and eat. I have another friend called Paul who is teaching me much about nutrition. Well not so much teaching as opposed to leading me to the right places.
  
But believe me the most important thing in life to cherish is your health, of course it’s not just a healthy body. It’s a out mind, body and spirit. They are all important parts of our health, in future blogs I will touch on ideas in relation to those different areas of our health. Because they all help us to stay in good shape. Have a great Friday, we will be out celebrating getting the all clear and going on 3 monthly visits. 
Keep well and all the best
Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. It took me an hour to write, but will take you a second to share.

You want to be rich?

Tags

autum, beauty, belief, Breath, cancer, cancer stories fight, countryside, enjoyment, happiness, hope, leaves, love, money, rich, riches, work

You are and you don’t even know it, the things that cost no money are the most worthwhile things that we have, but yet you won’t even bother to be thankful for it or them. You proberbly won’t even share this blog. Think about everything that you may moan about, car won’t start, a bill, some work you have had done on the house, how far a journey is, traffic, the government,taxes, etc etc are these all not a consequence of your very own success. People moan and groan about this and that, the neighbours (me included i am human to) the bin men, having to do meanial tasks, like cleaning, washing up, hoovering. But we forget ( well I do anyway ) sometimes what we do have that no amount of money can buy.

  
My thoughts go to people that have had berievments, I mean Micheal Jacksons money could not save him from himself, or his health. Amy wine house what a waste, Whitney, and many many more. Their money could not save them from the disorders that contributed to them eventually dieying or self destructing, depends how you choose to look at it. One thing is for sure however, is that some are wise with their wealth. Cliff Richard maybe, I don’t know who but there are people out there that don’t squander it on drink and drugs.

  
So what am I trying to say, it’s quite simple really. Some of you reading this may already do it, but others from the moment they wake up to the moment they go to sleep are 100 miles an hour and don’t stop to appreciate anything, what’s the point in life if we can’t stop to enjoy it, if we can’t rest a little and take in the amazing surroundings that is called our world. The things that are free, the things we exsperience that cost nothing at all except our time. They are the things that make us rich, they are the things that make life worth living.

  
It’s autum right now, and the colours on the leaves make for spectacular photographs. The birds that sing in the trees throw out an amazing chorus, the simple sounds of children playing having fun. It’s not hassle to clean up the mess it’s a consequence of giving an exsperience to a child finding out about life. Splashing in puddles, kicking the autum leaves and making that leafy sound. Being able to dance, sing, smile and be happy. These are priceless, the things we can do that cost nothing, the walks with our dog (should you have one) the views our eyes can see, the sound of the sea, wildlife that we come across. They all should have the wow factor. But we don’t even stop to appreciate them. I want to suggest that tomorrow if your busy schedule allows, that you stop for a while. That you take a moment to take in the morning chorus of the birds singing, to just appreciate that you have air to breath, you have a life to live and a family to love, even if there is no more family just you. We are all connected somehow, we have all got things to be grateful for, and people we can share it with.

  
Choose to think about what’s priceless in your life, choose to be happy about that rather than the negativity that after all if you think about it. All that’s negative is created by man, be it in our minds or by machine. Choose to take a moment to look at the sunset and sunrise. It’s an amazing world if we take the time to look around at how rich you really are.

    
 Enjoy your day, and the riches that surround you

Mark
http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. It took me an hour to write, but will take you a second to share.

Falling is learning.

Tags

cancer, Cancer stories, past, present

I was first introduced to this concept a long time ago, by a very wise man. Who maybe to many is not seen this way, for me he gave up his time for me when I needed to hear the things he helped me to see about myself. This person helped me to see that falling down in what ever form is actually a good thing. That trials and tribulations is a good thing, that whilst some may see it as a hinderance it’s actually our attitude to it, and our physical response to it that shows the substance of who we actually are. I am talking about those that get up when they get knocked down. Then again get up next time they are knocked down. Not complaining or wanting anyone to see, just getting up and carrying on. 5.50am today which will be yesterday by the time you read this, I was reminded of this concept. I have a friend called Rhys, I remember having my hair cut by him when he was an apprentice. 

  
My words to him were “don’t give up my friend, you have it in you to be a winner” the fact is we all do, it’s just some of us choose to be under the circumstances as apposed to using the circumstances to our advantage. You see, those that do, are those that win. Those that keep moving forwards, they are the people that use the circumstances to drive them. Why? Because we learn from those circumstances. Let me explain.

Again I was taught this early in life, so very simple yet so meaningful. When a person falls down, some are kicked whilst on the floor, bullied even. Why is that, do they deserve it. Of course not, but isn’t it down to how we respond to it that matters, rather than what has happened. People will always let you down, no one has your interests at heart only thier own, they will use you to get what they want. For me it’s  again about response. You see, when you fall for what ever reason. Then get back up, I don’t know if you have noticed but you never get up in the same place. You have moved forwards a step, because you got up. If however you sit for a while then get up, you will have forgotten where you were when you fell. It is only about how YOU respond, no one else will be at fault. 

  
How many times have you heard someone say, it’s not my fault. I have been guilty if it myself, saying sentences like “it’s because” “well if” no no no, it’s down to you, learn by getting up. Believe in yourself as opposed to blaming your surroundings or situations you find yourself in. Another friend calls her cancer ” a bump in the road ” I admire people like that. Get up and move forwards, you and only you can change your destiny, it starts with you getting up, dusting yourself off and stepping forwards. Feel challenged? Great, then you will learn today something you would not have, had you not chosen to get up and step forwards.

  
I myself have turned cancer on its head, making something seemingly horrific (which it is) into something that blesses others every day that I write. Well I believe it will help someone everyday, you don’t have to have suffered cancer to get something out of what is written here. Please share it on social media, I can’t control what you do but ask that if it’s resinated something with you, click the share button. I can assure you, that could affect someone’s life in a good way changing the direction they are heading. 

  
Feel free to let me know what the result was. I love results can’t stand excuses.

Have a great week,

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. It took me an hour to write, but will take you a second to share.

New Tab on Teacup Talk and My Most Sincere Thank Yous!

I am amazed to find this, I think some of this blog is about me, and I cannot tell you how humbled I feel. All I can say is thank you xx

Source: New Tab on Teacup Talk and My Most Sincere Thank Yous!

Time for some honesty.

Tags

Cancer stories, energy, fatigue, fulfilment, hope, living, love, reality, recovery, work

Dont think by the title of this that I am not honest with myself, because I most certainly am. The truth is though I have been feeling quite lonely, like I am a spare part. You see when your in treatment your busy, your visiting hospitals all the time. Your doctors become your friend, being woken up in the night because your pic line is wrapped around your neck becomes the norm. I don’t have any of that now, just this journey called recovery. It’s like life has come to a screeching halt, and after life was so packed full of visits, I need to do something more and I am starting to put pressure on myself to do that. That’s not good, I can’t feel stress like I used to, I can’t live my life in the rat race anymore. Why did I get cancer in the first place, well I think it was brought on by neighbours that drank till silly hours of the morning, when we both needed to be up for work the next day. Knocking on the walls, throwing bottles over the fence and sleeping in till ridiculous o’clock.

  
I like to sort problems out there and then, but there was non of that with these people they seemed to be on self destruct. My blood boiled every night, I had my fists clenched most evenings because of it. Their TV was mounted on the wall that was an adjoining wall, which always was at high volume. It was a horrific 4 years. The house we live in now has no such problems, we don’t have a connecting wall with a Nieghbour and feel fortunate to have good neighbours around us. Sometimes you have to make your own luck in life though don’t we,  we have to make a move that will make life easier and better. 

  
We have been very fortunate in my cancer journey, people from all over the world have supported us, as far away as Australia. When I think about going back to work ( it’s been a long time ) I can’t help thinking that helping people is where I need to be, comforting families and being compassionate towards others that are fighting. Really I need to be dedicating my life to doing that not building an empire. Putting pressure on myself to earn a decent income again, there are opportunities out there that I think I will have a go at, but have no exspectations of income.   

Even whilst on my own journey, I have reached out to others offering a helping hand. I actually found it helped me to reach out, I felt needed and appreciated. Now it just feels like I am being lazy, getting my strength back is so important. People are always commenting how healthy I look, how amazed they are at how well I look. That’s just the outside though, trust me it does not feel like that from inside. I still feel tired allot, and feel that walking is an effort, you won’t ever see that when you look at me. You will just see a determined man, doing his best to give the best of me to my wife. Cancer fatigue is like wading through thick mud as you step forwards, it’s not like a normal tired where a little sleep will sort you out. It’s hard to exsplain unless you have felt it yourself.

  
I just felt today that I needed to tell you how it is, that it’s not all as rosey as it may appear from the outside. That also if your feeling something similar to me, that you are not alone, that it’s normal. I most certainly need a new challenge but for now until I find that new challenge that fits in with my situation in recovery then I will continue to write here, I WILL continue to DO. I guess I give myself a hard time, but if I don’t who can. I am almost convincing myself writing this singular blog. To stop blogging and get back on with my book. I have not picked it up for a while because someone discourages me from writing it, saying no one will want to read about me. But you know what, it’s time to listen to myself. It’s time to complete what I set out to do, there are people out there that have encouraged me no matter what, and I should blank out the rest and just focus on the positives. Listen to the advice despensed in that blog called fonzandcancer. 

  
Forgive me for my ramblings. No prizes for guessing what I am doing today.

I hope you have a great day, and thanks for reading.

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. It took me an hour to write, but will take you a second to share.

Kill me if you dare.

Tags

belief, cancer, Cancer stories, exsperience, hope, Laughter, love, loved, survived, survivor

That’s my attitude to cancer, myself as a person am way to stubborn to allow a disease to take away my freedom. To control my life, to dictate to me for long periods. My brother once said to me, “we allow visits from cancer, but never to stay.” My first blog was just these words. “I am Mark, a cancer fighter. I WILL WIN” I was determined unwaivered from my end goal to beat cancer. I know doctors dish out statements  like how long you have to live, the amount of chemo that’s required. All sorts of pharmaceutical prescriptions, and although some work we are as humans finding out ways to combat cancer using natural solutions. I say over and over again, we are what we eat and we should all be very cautious about what we put inside our bodies.

  
Of course you can’t really educate yourself with a passion until you have been touched by cancer, we learn to look after ourselves by how hard we have had to fight. Please understand I am not a doctor I just speak of what I have learnt on my journey. I am in no way telling you how to be, just what’s working for myself. I have many friends with completely different ideas, I find it interesting hearing people’s opinions and outcomes of thier own trials. As a friend of mine said the other day, it’s about putting quality food into our bodies grown to the highest standard, produced naturally not enhanced by chemicals. I think he is right, but that’s my own opinion. Oh how I love opinions, they can’t be wrong can they, because no ones opinion can be challenged just disagreed with. But exsperience can’t even be disagreed with, because it is just that. Thier exsperience. It can’t be challenged, it is after all something that’s happened to the person. As a consequence of that exsperience an opinion is formed.

  
I found a new love in writing, a new journey that will take me where ever I want it to take me. It’s certainly a trip, and one I absolutely love. Maybe one day I may have an opportunity to make something from it. Of course if you have read them all you will know that my mind has been changed, because of the journey I have found myself in. New ways of thinking, new thought patterns, new friends, losing who thought were my very best friends, but finding out who are true and honest, dependable and upright. Even losing friendships has strengthened me and helped me to realise what and who is and are important to us both. 

  
I don’t get it right all the time, I am human but one thing is for sure, life is so satisfying these days. I have a friend who I have never met, well a few. The person I think of is a lady, her name is Sue. Everyday I write she encourages me, it’s admirable and energising for me. She helps me to blog everyday just by reading and commenting on what is written here. I do struggle sometimes just to get stuff down especially over the past 2 weeks whilst I have been unwell. But I am sure of this one fact. That we are all here to benefit each other, and it’s up to us to choose to do that in whatever capacity that may be. Stand strong, never give up, not ever, dare to keep moving forwards never ever losing site of your goal. YOU WILL WIN.

Have a great week.

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. It took me an hour to write, but will take you a second to share.

Who were you?

Alone, are you happy with who you are? Do you think you can be better, are you the best you can be.Were you always as good as you could be?  Does it even matter what you were?

Well for me it matters greatly what you were, because it means you will have or not learnt certain things in your life. What you were Helps to Mold what you will become.The lessons we have learnt shape who we are today. I love the sentence in the lion king, when simbas girlfriend says to him “you are more than what you have become” because we all are arnt we until the day we die. My wife always says to me when she learns something new “every day’s a school day” 

  
Everyday when I get up, well right now I have not gotten up, and I won’t until I have written today’s blog. Then at some point today I will write tomorrow’s proberbly when my wife’s watching City beat United. Anyway everyday when I get up I rejoice, I almost skip because I am that greatful to have a new day ahead of me. So many times on the cancer fight I could have given up, so many times I could have turned and wasted what was left of my life. But I didn’t, I for one am overjoyed just to be able to write to you and for you. Does it really matter who I was, we all know it did at the time we know it shaped who we are today. But today is what matters, what we do right now is what matters. So even though football is not on my to do list, my wife is passionate about it, so it’s a time I will enjoy it with her whilst also doing what I am passionate about.

  
When I complete my 365 days blogging each day, we are going to see some of this amazing country we live in, Scotland perhaps. But definitely Cornwall and Devon. Take my wife to see my friends at Gilead who I seem to back in touch with so many of them of late. The place where so many folk had good intentions towards the people there, a place where I saw miriacles happen. Baby lambs being born, calves being born, piglets born and people’s lives were touched by a person I call God by his Holy Spirit. It’s easy to forget where we have been, and what we were. But it’s healthy I think sometimes to remember so we can be grateful for what we have become.

  
I am grateful I had the mindset to find the strength to beat cancer, I am grateful to all the people that contributed. The nurses, doctors medical staff in what ever capacity because YOU gave me life. I will now walk the dog with a thankful heart, I may even have the odd skip as I walk (now that will look odd) are you grateful for your life?  Have you ever thought “who was I” have a go it will do you good.

Have a. Great day

Mark

  http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. It took me an hour to write, but will take you a second to share.

This is my church, this is where I heal my hurts.

Tags

church, family, honesty, hope, love

This is my church

This is where I heal my hurts

This is my church

This is where I heal my hurts

This is my church

This is where I heal my hurts
It’s a natural grace

Of watching young life shape

It’s in minor keys

Solutions and remedies

Enemies becoming friends

When bitterness ends
This is my church [2x]

This is where I heal my hurts

For tonight

God is a DJ
This is my church

This is where I heal my hurts

  
Of course it means my blog to me,  it means the people that I speak to daily. People on CS,  the word church means “people” it means that we as a group of people make up church. It is not a building, it is not a place made from bricks. It’s a place where real people meet, and are real. Not judgmental people, being hypocrites on a Sunday. Being a different person on a Monday to the person they show they are on a Sunday. It’s about accepting people for who they are, maybe suggesting new ways to be. But just acceptance, not judging mistakes. Only one can do that, and I know for a fact that is not me.

  
It’s sad to say, but for me. I only felt at home in one church, a church in Swansea. Called new covenant, it’s the only place I found where people were real and didn’t ask for money every week. It’s about giving and being the best you everyday. It’s about giving from the heart because you want to, not because a minister says you have to. For me anyway, church is not even possible for some people which is why so many find solice on the Internet. We find comfort in Gods people, We find that people in worse situations than us reach out to us.

  
Don’t get me wrong I think there is a place for church, but not for condemnation. Church should be a place of acceptance, a place where you feel at home, not pointed at and judged. The verse in the bible springs to mind Mathew 7 vs 1 “judge not, or you yourself will be judged” 

I hope this makes sense to someone.

Have a great day.

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. It took me an hour to write, but will take you a second to share.

Positively negative.

Tags

belif, calm, can, help for heroes, hope, humanity, negative, positive, will

Today I want to talk with you about something positive, yes of course I understand that there cannot be a positive without a negative or how would we know it was positive. Like there has to be a down if there is an up. A left if there is a right, but do negative things have a positive effect on our lives. My answer is Yes. disagree let me explain.
  
When something seemingly negative happens in our lives, like cancer, someone passing, an accident. It makes us STOP, it makes us think about life, take stock maybe think differently about our life. Think thoughts like, why wasn’t I there? What could I have done differently? Why did I not do more? They are all valid thoughts you may think. For me they are very negative, although challenging and if it’s challenging to us, then there has to be a positive outcome right? It’s about using what’s seemingly negative to be positive. A battery can’t produce power without a negative. In fact the negative is what makes the positive exactly that. Positive.

  
When I got cancer the second time my very first thought was, “how can I turn this around to benefit others” I was not going to bury my head and hide like I did the first time. After a great deal of thought and chatting to myself and my wife. I decided to start writing, I gave myself a challenge to write every day for 365 days. I was not very good at it, or so I thought. But one thing I did know was that if I did, then and only then I would get better at it in my recovery. Now I am not saying that I am good at writing, but I am saying that there has to have been an improvement over the last 6 months whilst writing. Hasn’t my thinking at least become more positive, using what I saw as something I was not good at, turned it around and made myself better by being determined. 

  
Our lives, arnt they all about responding to situations, we can see them as negative if we so want to, hold our heads in our hands. OR we can DO something, by that very action of Doing don’t we then start to make that situation positive because we are now doing where we would not have done in the past. If you live in the North west, you will have seen the drab houses that people complained about, even wanted knocking down. In Moston Manchester.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/tv/entries/cce70406-08ae-4162-818b-a40474af68ee

Someone had a vision to use those seemingly dilapidated houses for good, to make them into places for people that have served our country. People that have serious injuries, that require different needs to the normal person. I am sure some folk thought it would never happen. But Nick knowles and his team of people on DIY SOS made the first move. Then people came out of the wood work and helped giving their time for free. It started with a thought that some saw as negative, but Nick turned it into an amazing reality benefiting many families.

So now the families that are in seemingly negative situations, find themselves surrounded by positives, with neighbours that have similar stories. Your journey may start with a negative situation, but you can make that situation a positive one. It may not be you that benefits, but trust me you do in the end. Let’s be a nation that does.
Have a great weekend.
Mark

Addiction.

Tags

Addicted, addiction, belief, faith, hope, life

Whenever I write a blog, it’s from my own exsperience not taking anything from google or anywhere else. It’s just about what my exsperiences have been, of course it can’t be disputed, argued or disagreed with. Because it’s a memory, an exsperience or a feeling that I have had in the life I have lived. Many of you know I am writing a book which will be out next year, a book that has more than one focus. But has a strong element of honesty in it, it describes how certain times in my life have felt maybe even some of my blogs will be in it to. Maybe someone will think that some are worthy to be in my book I can’t tell you what it’s called just yet as it’s not published. But one thing is for sure, it will mean something to everyone.

  
So for 31 years I smoked tobacco substances, for proberbly 25 of those years I enjoyed it. I did have a 4 year break where I was not an every day smoker, it was a period that I was restricted from smoking, I did still find ways though. I was in rehab at the time, we bought cars from auction. When they came in we used to empty the ash trays, and make roll ups from the dimps we found in the ash trays. I also smuggled tobacco in using the back of my stereo. My iron was also a great way to hide tobacco in, I am sure Albert slow man would find this funny as he always wondered why I had an iron. It’s one of those things, when you are addicted to smoking it’s a part of every day life, like eating. You are going to do it, you need it even. Smoking means you are addicted to nicotine, it takes over your life, you get up in the morning and it’s the first thing you crave along with a coffee or 4. 

  
Seems I am not supposed to post this, or someone is trying to discourage me somewhere, as this completely written blog has just vanished so I am having to write it again. I will continue.

Some say addiction is a desease, I say it’s a choices that it’s us who decides to do it or not. When you are addicted we come up with all sorts of excuses in our minds as to why we should do it. Excuses as to why it’s a bad idea to give it up, some may even think that nicotine is not a drug. Well I must tell you it’s the next most addictive substance to heroin. On walking through the doors on my final leg of the 5 year journey beating cancer, I walked into a room to be isolated from the world! to have my bone marrow transplant, where I could not smoke. I had a choice to walk out of the room and go outside for a cigarette. But I needed to choose life for me and my wife. To give myself the best chance possible to rid myself of this disease. Turning my back on it and walking away. 

 I needed to believe by faith that I could do it. To step out and make the first move, to choose not to do it, to choose a new way of life. To change and do things like eat the right foods, eat more greens, exercise and choose to not smoke. Everyday it’s about choosing to do what’s right. When I walked through those doors, I had to choose to do, or not do. To walk away from what was and walk towards a new way of living, I replaced my addiction with something else. You are reading it right now, these days when I wake up I pick up my I pad, it’s a choice to live like that to choose to encourage others as apposed to wasting life. When I walked through those doors I also chose to write every day for a year. That was 6 months ago.

  
What’s your choice that you will make only you can decide, but I tell you from my experience it’s like being freed from a prison you chose to be in. I only hope you can choose to make that step of faith and make your own life better. You won’t know if it’s a better way, until you make the step. Will you?

Have a great day

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. It took me an hour to write, but will take you a second to share.

Leave the past where it is.

Tags

better, cancer, change, forgive, lifestyle, live, NED, remmission, veggie

Todays challenge is today’s,  yesterday’s challenges are to be learnt from or forgotten. One thing I have learnt to do (learning to do) is to leave negativity behind. Refuse it in my life, to choose only positive choices. The more days I live like this, the more love I feel for the ones that truly care about me. The more important true friends become. It does not matter who you are, what challenges you will face, it’s about what we choose to accept in our lives. People work together not because they are perfect, but because they are willing to accept everything about them. Life is about accepting where someone is at, or walking away. A friend will accept you with all your flaws, its a great place to be, being accepted no matter what. They are the family we choose.

  
Isn’t it about not remembering the past that’s no good, isn’t it about remembering the good stuff, encouraging someone when they feel that they can’t, helping them to believe that they can. I know I have made many mistake and God knows I have been reminded of such often. But I want to break that process, I won’t listen to negativity. I only want positives in my life, even if it’s a negative situation like cancer I WILL turn it around. There is no room in life for dwelling on the past, dwelling on dark places that were. It’s about the daylight, it’s about learning from the past to make our future better.

  
When I beat cancer the first time, I carried on smoking, carried on eating saturated fats, carried on eating processed foods that my body had no idea how to process. It came back, WOW massive surprise. Of course it came back I had made no life changes. The changes I have made, are to eat limited saturated fat, less bread and eat allot of food that grew in the ground. Vegetables are something I never ate in my past, I was a meat man. Not now I will eat my veggies before I finish my meat, if we are hit by cancer we need to make amendments, educate ourselves, and make sure that the changes we make, are ones that will help give ourselves, the best chances to keep cancer away. Although my cancer was not linked to my lifestyle, it can’t help to higher my chances of never getting it again. Can it.

  
Leave the past where it is, unless it’s to learn from that’s what I am learning. It’s a shame wise people (I am not wise yet) are usually to old to benefit from it. I just hope that some people reading these blogs, become wise before their time benefiting from their past.

Have a great week

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. It took me an hour to write, but will take you a second to share.

NED.

Tags

beat, cacer, Cancer stories, cancers, desease, fight, live, NED, reality, survivor, win

I am a member of a group on Facebook, like the one I run. Only it’s a survivors group for people that have had cancer in the neck and or head. It’s a great group, people offer support for each other and share their own experiences. As you all know I thrive off making seemingly negative situations into positive ones. Life is a learning curve and on our journeys there are words and phrases I am learning even abbreviations. Like this blog is. 

  

I read about a persons worry, that they were to have their test tomorrow to make sure cancer was still at bay. She continued to write please pray for NED. I could not work out why she was calling herself NED, her name did not abrieviate to that. Had to use my friend Google to find out, it took a couple of scrolls to find out, that NED was actually very positive. It’s something every cancer sufferer, caregiver, and family member wants to hear for the person close to them. Something we all fight for, then hope to keep.

  

It’s amazing though that some people will never ever have to worry about what NED means. If it means nothing to you, then I am very pleased for you. Because you obviously have lived life with (No Evidence of Desease) how fortunate a position to be in, to not have to fight to rid yourself something life threatening. Your in a privalaged position right. Well that got me thinking how I think, I won’t listen to negativity, do my best not to involve myself in negativity, and do my best to offer constructive statements.  What if though that by knowing what it’s like to become NED! We enjoy living life more, because I know for sure that I want to enjoy each day that I live all the more.

  

Isn’t life about speaking life to each other, let’s use an example. Something someone said to me today.  You choose which of these questions is best.

“Are you recovering from your holiday”

“I hope you enjoyed your holiday”

One expects a positive response the other a negative one. The one a person chooses to say is how they exspect life to treat them. I personally like to go on holiday to relax not to become ill, although on this occasion being stuck on the apron for 4 1/2 hours being served warm water in economy, has most certainly made us both unwell. 

I am most certainly on the mend from my infection, which is a relief. But learning what NED means is what I want for everyone, what I hope for for everyone. I guess it does start with our attitude to life, how we responded to situations in life up to this point. I for one feel fortunate that I go for the positive bless people approach and I learnt this way because I had to become NED. It’s because I had to fight for NED that I realise what the outcome of positivity can bring. That makes me thankful to have had cancer, and thankful that I am now myself NED. Please remember those that are fighting to be NED themselves in your prayers.  Whilst if you are NED being grateful for each day we have with no evidence of Desease.  Life is for living, for loving those in it, giving positivity where ever possible. 

  

Thank God for NED.

Have a great day

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. It took me an hour to write, but will take you a second to share.

Do what you say.

Tags

ability, belief, boxing, can, cancer, desease, fighter, focus, reality, will, winner, world cup

It can be rewarding to achieve anything, achievement starts with doing what we say. It starts by making that step forwards in self belief,  it’s the same when fighting a disease. When having to have a battle that we did not expect, or that’s got in the way of life. A big bill we did not expect, a family situation where we have to all pull together. There is always someone worse off that ourselves, someone having more to deal with than ourselves. Who do we help really by having our head in our hands, unless we are concentrating on what our next move will be.

  
Life for me, is about making a choice and moving forwards with the focus in mind to achieve what we set out to do. I have personally without doubt had to do different things to what I intended on doing in the last 5 years. There are things I have said I will do that I have not done as yet, although those things are still in my mind to do.  My focus has been on my health, been on beating the disease that has, as some would see as a hinderance. I don’t see it like that however, I see my cancer that came to take my life as a honing process. That I have chosen to learn from the situations i/we have found ourselves in, to choose to be a better person, to choose to stand up and choose to beat this thing people call cancer.

  
When a fighter goes into the ring, he has to have trained hard for a long period of time. He has to be in the form of his life, a rugby player playing in the World Cup has trained for years to become the best they can be. Life sometimes does not give us the precious gift of time, but we do have our mind which helps us to make right choices. Shrugging our shoulders is not what winners are made of, but stepping forwards and doing what we say shows the substance of the person you look at in the mirror everyday.

   
You can be if you choose to be. Use the time you have to do what you say, you can without doubt achieve it. It’s down to you to say you CAN though, there will always be the people that will say you can’t. That was their choice that they made to say that, I say to you CAN because I know what it’s like to beat the odds. Focus on the positives that you have not the things you don’t. It’s a far happier way to live I think.

  
Have a great day

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. It took me an hour to write, but will take you a second to share.

Journey home from Mexico. 24 1/2 hours.

So this is the storey of how we left Mexico, it began with a stunning lunch that we had had for the past 14 days with a glass of wine. Now although it was 1 pm in Mexico, I had already put my watch forwards to English time which was 7pm, a normal time to have dinner with a glass of wine. It was amazing as always as was the service, a French couple we had met out there took a photo of us. We were over joyed to have spent time at the resort within the resort. Namely Royal club, on the playa maya coast. Next door to a zoo park called the Xcaret. It’s a place where you do not have to lift a finger, drinks are brought to you where you are, waiter service is part of the exsperience. For anything what so ever at any time what so ever. Nothing is off the menu except lobster and champagne. 

  
It was with a satisfied heart that we left in our taxi at 3pm 9pm British time. On getting to the airport we had a couple of coronas did a bit of shopping and it was time to board. But the flight was not going to be straight forwards like it was on the way there. It was exactly the same plane as going “Jersey girl” a virgin Atlantic plane. Well small hotel with wings really. It was strange being moved off of the stand and seeing the same view for 20 mins. Then hearing the captain say we were going back to the stand, I was a little concerned as were all the other 458 passengers and staff. As time went by it became apparent that my worst nightmare had began. There was a problem with the engine, not only was there a problem but they were going to fix it with us on the plane. (Unbeknown to us) it was quite nice as we looked around seeing how people were making friends and chatting in groups quite happily. There was one couple that were not however, not because of the fact we were delayed. But because they were seated at opposite ends of the economy class to each other. Andie was sat by the window, I was in the middle and there was a girl sat on the Isle.
I was already feeling quite clostrafobic sat in the center seat, the girl sat next to me agreed to swop seats with the girl in the couple so they could be sat on the Isle seats 2 rows apart. Good compromise you may think, but the girl sat next to me was still upset as she had not had a satisfactory time with Virgin, having had the seats she had booked sold to someone else by a holiday agency. I felt sorry for them, they were young and I felt that they had had a rough deal and was prepared to help where I could as was Andie. I saw a solution in my mind that was good for them. For me and Andie to move into Isle seats and they could sit together.

  
I went and had a chat with the guy, who was over the moon to have me suggest it. So we moved as did they, we call it paying it forwards. Giving someone else we don’t know in the hope that they would do the same for someone else in the future. Little did I know that the repair to the engine would take over 4 hours, then a further 10 hours flying. It was a time I had to put all my tricks I had learnt Into practice, putting myself by the sea in my mind, believing the plane would get us to our destination. Also dealing with the disappointment of having to drive back from London in rush hour traffic, where as without a delay we would have been home by 4 in the afternoon.  On top of all that dealing with the fear of flying, which I dealt with. 

  
On top of all of the disappointments, there was a fatality on the m25 and a big jam on the m6 close to home which made the 4 hour journey last 8. All this whilst feeling ill with a cold, which has now progressed to diorea and stomach pain. Even so it’s not made the amazing holiday any less, or the amazing people we met, the friendships we made. The celebrations we had, and the love we had feel any less. It was an amazing time, and we are glad we were able to be there with such great people. Thanks to you all. Also thank you for the bottle of Moët that the couple who’s seats we gave, then payed forward to us.

  
Bad things happen, but we can choose to accept them if we want. Making our day better.

Have a great Sunday.

Mark and Andie.

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.

Taken

Tags

belief, faith, forgive, forgiveness, generous, greatful, hard, hope, lesson, love, patience, regret, stolen, taken

I don’t know about you, but if I saw something of value I would want to find its owner. I would want to make sure that the owner was reunited with the item that was there. When I got the all clear 4 weeks ago which just so happened to be my birthday also, my wife bought me a Go-pro a camera in a waterproof case. The bill was considerable, but we thought we would be able to capture some great footage with it in the years to come. When we entered the complex where we are staying, we thought it to be private with considered people all around us. Never did we think that our things were at risk, that someone would take the opportunity to take something that’s not theirs.

  
It’s so sad that people are out there to make you feel so sad, that our disappointment could have totally ruined our time here had we not know our friends James and Becky. Fortunately for us, they lent us a lead that enabled us to upload all of our special moments that we had had up until the dreadful day when our Go-Pro was taken. All of the staff looked for it, but it was in vien. It had to be a guest. Every person was a suspect in my eyes, but no matter what I know that we all get disappointments in life. It goes back to that old chestnut, that we can’t make others choices for them.

  
So we were faced with a choice, to let it ruin what we had or to LET IT GO. Stress cannot be a part of my life anymore, and we need to be grateful for what we do have. It’s about how we respond to this situation, and I for one am pleased that I was able to upload all of the images and videos before the event took place. I just hope the person that stole it is able to enjoy it as much as we did. I just hope the insurance will replace it for us, which of course does not help us in the next few days as we won’t be able to capture videos like we did before. Like I say though we have what we have, and we will move on. At least we can enjoy what we have.

  
Cancer has taught me many lessons, but the main one is to enjoy today without letting someone else’s choices spoil what we have to enjoy. So today is Saturday, you won’t read this till we return from our amazing time in Mexico. I wonder what pleasures await us for the rest of the week.

Have a great week

Mark

Your eyes. They see through the BS.

I like eyes that can look at you and see right through the BS, a person can’t lie with their eyes. Generally when I meet someone, I assess them by whether they can look me in the eye or not. No one can disguise the look of honesty, the look that says I do what I say, and say what I do. What type of person are you? Are you honest with yourself, do you treat yourself with respect, because that’s what honest people do. They respect themselves enough to be honest with themselves and those around them. I like people that can look me in the eye, but find it hard to be around those that can’t. 

  
I think it’s a decision that we make to be honest with ourselves, it’s a choice. Many times in my life I have lied, not to others so much as to myself. Convincing myself that I am doing the right thing, when maybe it was not right, convincing myself I was in the right relationship when it clearly was not healthy. Exsperiencing unhealthy feelings, like jealousy which is absolutely pointless. But I convinced myself that what I chased was beneficial to me, when it clearly wasn’t. I listened to others opinions instead of finding out what the right opinion was. I believe with my whole heart that writing these blogs not only helps my mental health, but challenges me to be a better more whole individual. Maybe, just maybe there are people out there that are challenged to, because of my honesty. Maybe others are finding the real them, maybe not. But it’s a fact that someone somewhere needs to hear what I say, you are responsible for whether they get to hear that or not though, you do realise that right.?

  
By you sharing what is written here, you could be blessing someone’s life. I don’t want anything, only to bless someone else. You are the master of your destiny, you can’t blame anyone, you can’t blame a situation. It boils down to honesty, it boils down to being upright and making family happy, by starting with yourself. Everything is actually about you being honest with you, not hiding behind things or situations. 

  
No one can stop me writing, it’s what I am passionate about. I am passionate about suggesting a way that is maybe not in the box that you are holding. Maybe a way that makes you think about your life differently, you chose to read this. Why? I don’t know but, one thing I do know is. You were meant to read it, because you owe it to yourself and those who love and care about you to be the best you can be, so you can look another in the eyes with no BS.

  
When I look into the eyes of my love who is Andie. I know I am not perfect, I know I have made mistakes, but our look at each other forgives our imperfections. It’s a look of acceptance not judgement, I hope you find a life with out the BS.

Mark

Choose to love yourself.

Tags

figher, Fire, grace, hope, love

Failure is not an option, speak life to yourself. I have blogged similarly before about “we are what we say we are” but isn’t it true that once we choose to love ourselves that we then find our life takes a different path. That things start to fall into place, rather than finding road blocks at every turn. It takes me back to a time in my life where I was a recovery driver, I was in turmoil with myself and made constant mistakes. I had quite a few accidents at that time in my life, looking back because I was not as considered as I am these days. But then I was not in a secure loving relationship like I am now.

  
For me it was impossible to attain what we have now until I loved myself, because how could I give myself to another when I quite clearly did not like who I was. It’s about choosing to take care of yourself, not only physically by eating well and excercising well which I did. It was about my mind, and spirits health to. It was a choice I had to make, I got into the wrong relationship and confused myself possibly. Sometimes we need to have a new focus, and in my exsperience it’s about putting others first. Making it about others and not yourself. It’s oh so easy to keep talking about me me me. But so much more of an effort to make it about others. Or is it?

  
On starting my blog in May this year, it became about using what I have learnt and choosing to be open and honest about my experiences with the world. To let others know that maybe what they (you) feel is felt by others as well. Thus maybe helping others to feel that it’s normal to feel what we feel in a possibly horrible situation. We are after all, unique people, yet we experience the same emotions. We feel the same sadness as others in completely different circumstances.

  
For example: last night we went to dinner with a couple from newyork. No names I will mention, but he was a fire chief. In charge of a battalion of 9 stations, I respect him greatly and is for sure one of life’s successful people. He’s a man that has been honed by many seemingly sad situations but has for sure used those situations to make himself a better man. A man that has allowed life to shape who he has become, making sure he blesses people on the journey we call life. I could go on telling you the stories that he told us, but maybe that’s not for today. The point is we all have sadness to deal with, but it’s our reaction to it that’s the most important. The way we deal with it that really matters.

  
We can proactively do what we can to make sure that the situation does not occur, but we cannot stop someone else’s actions. All we can do is respond in a good way, our responses are everything. If we are choosing to love ourselves daily, those around us will feel loved to. We effectively affect those around us spreading the love we share, it’s a great place to be.

   

Have a great week and I hope you choose to love yourself.

Mark
http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.

We choose what we become.

Tags

acceptance, cancer, Cancer stories, fonz, greatness, happiness, help, helpful, hope, inspire, journey, life, love, m, stories, together

It’s true isn’t it? Life is just a bunch of choices, some say that some choices are bad. I say some choices we learn from. It very much depends on our reaction to the choice that we make. As I have said before, it’s not about focusing on a seemingly negative decision or situation. It’s how we respond that really matters. We met a lovely man today, he was with his two daughters and another male friend. Of course my first reaction was that they had given their wives a break by having the girls with them for breakfast. My how wrong I was, as we talked I realised that not only were they together, but they had adopted those two dear children. They had done a beautiful thing, they had given 2 children a happy home. It was very clear to see how loved they were, paving the way maybe for others to do the same.

  
We ourselves have it in our hearts to do the same, to adopt a child that needs a home. It was almost like I was being spoken to through this situation, being shown what life would be like to have adopted children in our lives. It was an amazing thing to see,  to see that those children had a loving home, were cared for and loved greatly.  we are here to encourage, love and inspire, whilst leading by example. I just accepted them. 

 
 When we left breakfast, one of the children who I had been talking to in Donald Duck. Asked her dad this question. “Daddy can I write my name, for Marco Polo”? They were French speaking. Of course she did photo attached, her sister gave me a sticker which is on my I pad and they blew us a kiss as we left. What a privalage to be given those minutes with that family. How heart warming that I now have that memory. Yet all of that would never have happened if I took a different approach. 

  
What matters is that happiness exsists in their lives, they will make their own choices right or wrong when they are older. Acceptance is amazing, and should be cherished. A loving home is priceless, which brings me to my next blog. But for today I will leave you with a song, that me and an old friend used to play, that I hoped one day my life would be like. Just listen to the words. Because I now have in my life the words to the song.

Have a great day.

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.

Dear Congress – Sincerely, A Mass Shooting Survivor

Tags

#UCCShooting, 2nd amendment, Colorado, Colorado Springs, conceal, conceal carry, Congress, gun, gun control, gun right, gun rights, guns, mass shooting, mass shooting survivor, Obama, oregon, President Obama, Second Amendment, shooting, shootings, survivor, trauma

I write you this letter so that you can see the face of a survivor. I write you this letter as someone who saw with my own eyes the horror of a mass shooting, a shooting that took the lives of my twin and younger sisters and injured my father in December 2007. And most importantly I write this letter to open a dialogue about the role that gun violence has played in our country.

http://laurieworks.com/2015/10/01/dear-congress-sincerely-a-mass-shooting-survivor/

My Andie

Tags

belief, cancer, Cancer stories, Compassion, encouragment, happiness, hope, kindness, life, living, love, marriage, perfect, perfectlove, relationship, soul mate, tenderness

I guess there is more than 1 person that’s compatible with another person. But for me there is only one that has filled that void. Only one person that I can call my soul mate, her name is Andie. She has remained by my side through thick and thin, she is a person that will stay by my side even when it’s raining and the world seems to be against us. She says this statement often.

   
“It’s not the people who sit with you in the limo, drinking champagne we call friends. It’s the ones that help push, when it breaks down. They are your real friends.” There is no doubt that she does that, and I hope she feels that it’s reciprocated.

  
There is no one on this planet like my Andrea, she has proved her love for me over and over again. To have her by my side makes me not only feel stronger, but makes me believe in the us that is our marriage. We are tough, we are sensitive, we are caring, but most of all we are secure with each other in the knowledge that there is an us.

  
My wife is the person that supports my choices even if some may not agree, she is like the strength in my weakness. She is my guide when I see no light, my warmth when I feel cold. She is  positive when I see no way out, Andie is my grace when I lack faith. She helps me to see a way where there appears to be a road block. She is my reason, when I feel deflated. Andie is faithful and strong, giving even when she feels she has nothing left to give. There is only one Andie, that person is my wife, and my life. I give myself to her and her alone forsaking all others.

  
Andie has been my dependable rock, someone who I am able to rely on. She makes me proud to married to her, and I feel privileged to call her my best friend. Even when cancer appeared to be taking my life, she believed in me and gave me the strength to reach up, have faith and carry on the fight. Andie has believed in me right from the start,  and has never waivered in believing  that I would survive. Everyone needs an Andie in their life. Life is to short to argue, fuss and fight. There is a great strength in WE, and because of the we in us “WE” are stronger. 

  
I hope with my whole heart that you have a similar experience in your life. There is no room to waste time with second bests, you deserve it to yourself to be and have the best you can. Settling for second best is a sad place to be (I know) but enjoying the best takes effort on both sides, maintenance, sensitivity, gentleness, consideration and above all else putting each other first. In the act of putting each other first we find all that 2 humans can give to each other, blessed by one more powerful than us. Known to me as Agape.

  
Giving is a beautiful way to live, putting your partner first is everything. Enjoy each other.

Have a great week

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.

Your first step.

Tags

belief, encouragement, faith, finding, giving, hope, love, reality, remembering, together

My journey learning continues, it’s amazing how some people on this planet can amaze us. It’s generally the people with less that give the most. The people that have exsperiences of having nothing, or having to fight like there is no tomorrow. I am finding out that true love comes from a pure and grateful heart. In our group Cancer stories 

https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536

I am finding that the love in people that have and are suffering is relelntless, it’s never ending. Why? Because we know how much something small means. We know how much a small amount of encouragement meant to us. I continue to blog every day about the stuff I am learning, so that the hope I have in my heart may touch 1 person a day, that’s all I want. That someone has a new start, or a change of heart maybe, or is reminded of what’s important in life. That someone somewhere has the drive to carry on, that someone is encouraged to maybe encourage someone themselves. 

  
You see we are all winners if we search our hearts and give with the compassion we have ALL been given. I choose as I live to do my best to give something to someone that only I can give, you are the same. As in, only you can do what you do. We are all special people, from shop keepers to surgeons we all have a place. We all have a space in society that’s ours. What we give is relative to what we have, but does not everyone have compassion. I think so, it’s just the people who have been through the mill (so to speak) realise maybe more than others what gifts they have within them. 

  
A journey starts with a step, it involves tanacity and selflessness. I have been woken up to write this blog, no idea why.  My journey in blogging started with one sentence. “I am a cancer fighter, and I will win” I did not know I would win the battle again but I believed it with my whole heart and stepped out in faith believing I would. Are you willing to do that, to step forwards into the seeming darkness. To move forward, even though there is uncertainty. When ever I sit down to write I never know what will be written only a word sometimes, or a statement that I hear or say myself is the begining of what I write. What happens if I don’t sit down and write it, you will never have read these words. You may never have been spurred on to fight what is your fight. Be it cancer, anxiety, or something else. We can all be achievers, you really can you have just got to make the first step. Then keep moving forwards as you find your own way.

  
You are more amazing than you are aware of, that first step will take you on a journey of discovery. But that’s up to you, you and only you can make that choice.

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.

Doing your best.

Tags

become, belief, better, blood, cancer, focus, learning, manage, overcoming, path, reality, recover, right, survive, vital

Everyday for me is about becoming a better person, more rounded. (I don’t mean fat) a person that has something to give as opposed to needing to take. God knows I don’t get it right all the time, in fact some may see me as a failure. What ever is thought by others I can’t change so why worry, what does it matter anyway. Peoples opinions won’t change because it bothers me, the only person it hurts is me. All I do every day is my best, although I get it wrong on times I DO my best to get it right next time. I do my best I never try, we all know there is no try only do or do not.

  
Me and Andie often discuss, how we can be better people, one of my major downfalls is humility. But is that true. Maybe I am confident and that’s interpreted differently to what I am intending on projecting. I am not naturally confident, some may laugh at that who know me really well. It’s true though sometimes I just don’t consider the consequences. I just go in whole heartedly, giving what ever I am doing my whole heart. There are no grey areas with me, no Inbetween. Just decisions I make or don’t make, some of my better choices I write down in a blog and i do my best to carry them out in my everyday life. Learning everyday to be a better me.

  
I don’t know what you think, but I guess doing your best to be better is a better choice than holding onto the baggage that weighs us down making us sluggish and breeding things like depression, anger, and giving us feelings like hopelessness. If we feel like we are doing our best, what more can we do? If our best is not good enough for someone else who’s problem is that? My opinion is its not my issue but theirs, and one thing that’s a fact is. There is no way I am carrying around someone else’s problems by making them my own.

   

I am happy with who I am, but not so happy that I don’t daily want to become a better me. I wonder what you choose?

Mark 

Your playground.

Tags

Breath, cancer, delight, energy, gift, given, gracious, happiness, happy, hope, past, present, stories

Its funny how memories come back to my mind, recently me and my wife parked outside my grandma andgrandads house in Redhill Surrey. It was a lovely feeling standing there looking at the house we had visited on so many occasions. Images of my grandad and dad playing draughts, the organ being played and singing. Being sprayed with their hose pipe in the back garden, watching grandad fettle some wood in his shed. The amazing sausage casarole that grandma used to make, and the trips to the park as a small boy. I am remember our go kart that uncle peter made for us, we even visited the hill where me and my brother used to go down on the go kart. That hill was so steep, we must have been crazy.

  
We can all choose to enjoy the memories that were created as a child, when I think back to mine I have some great memories. Great times shared as a family, earls wood park was vast in my mind. I remember the tie dyed t shirt, with cut off sleeves, I had black and orange where the bleach had made it turn. I seem to remember riding  on a yellowkyack on that lake. I wonder if my mum has the picture.

  
That’s what the world is like isn’t it, one giant playground. It’s ours to roam in, ours to bless people in. It is actually ours to enjoy, ours to create new memories in. It’s a place where we can enjoy new exsperiences with new people that we choose to communicate with. What an honour to have a life to live, the have air to breath, and love to give. We are who we are, is that right. I don’t think so, we become who we want to be, we choose to see this world as a playground. 

  
When you have been critically ill, your whole perspective changes. Because you realise life is so very fragile, that what we exsperience every day is a special gift. I embrace every day now with gratitude, ok I am human and sometimes I get it wrong, well often. But it’s always in my mind that each breath I take is a gift, that we are here but for the grace of God. I hope you are able to recal some great moments to, and are able to create some awesome ones as well.

Have a great weekend

Mark

Determination.

Tags

belief, best, determination, energy, faith, family, friends, giving, hope, love

Your will and desire to overcome? Is it a choice, or is it part of your nature? What makes someone want to carry on or even have the drive to carry on? Well here is my experience of it, what I think and how I have managed to maintain my determination. 

  
For me it’s about happiness, it’s about love and enjoyment. When you have spent quality time with quality people that have a quality mindset or as one of my best friends says (Proper people) your desire to want more of that in life changes. For me it makes me determined to make sure my cancer does not return, making sure I eat well, that I have a nutritionally balanced diet. That life is quality in all areas, I was having a conversation with my Andie today. I was saying how I must never have to go in isolation ever again, I got quite upset thinking that if I did what I would miss out on. The company of my good friends, the quality moments that allot of us take for granted. The nice things in life that we all enjoy, the peace, the feelings that others give to us because they care about us. We can’t change the actions of selfish people that only think for themselves, but we can make sure the friends we have are quality. 

  
It’s funny you know, how people have been towards me having cancer. It’s also amazing how good Some people have been, people tend to bless good people. I am for sure a blessed man, I write this knowing the people in my life now are there for a reason, and the ones that are not in it now because they have chosen not to be, have no place in my future anyway. The good people I have met give me energy, they help me to stay determined to keep cancer at bay. I always say if a friend does not make your life better then they were never a friend in the first place. 

  
So my conclusion, for me there has to be something to look forward to in life, there has to be a reason. There has to be something that drives us every day to remain determined. This blog you are reading right now helps me be determined because I know that others are touched by it. We had a dinner party last night for our anniversary, we were with Proper people. People that gave me energy and I hope we did them to. It’s about doing our best, and being the best you there is. One thing is for certain I am more determined than I ever was to remain cancer free. I have to much life to live, and to much love to give. I cannot and must not get ill again. The people I speak of in this blog know who they are, the ones that have turned their backs on us know who they are to. 

  
Friends are the family we choose, they help us to remain positive and determined.

Choose well.

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.

Frozen.

Tags

belief, cancer, Cancerstories, friendship, frozen, Laughter, life, live, love

When your fighting any illness I guess you find your self in a dark place, sometimes it’s a place where you don’t feel there is a way out. For me, that’s what the room was like, the place where I had my transplant. It was a place where I felt there was no end. I had to believe it without seeing, to believe we would make it be having faith.

  
I am a person that feels trapped in confined spaces, it’s a clostrafobic feeling where I feel the need to escape if I can’t see a light at the end of the tunnel. Or so I thought, let’s take the lazy river exsperience. Life jacket on, floating down the river at a pace that you choose through tunnels and round bends but not always being able to see where the tunnel ends. I remember asking my wife if she could see the end, we were in the dark tunnel but I could not see the end. All I had to go on is what my wife could see which was more than I. She told me she could see the way out, it was so very natural for me to just trust her. After all why would she lie to me, it was an easy thing for me to do. To trust the person I had chosen to spend my life with, to believe she was right. Which of course she was.

  
It’s also like that with friends we choose, we learn to trust them to believe in them. To know that they are there for us as well as them. It’s the same with doctors, medication. Anyone that has your life in their hands, it’s just us that stands in the way of a loving relationship with a person. 

I have learnt to  be frozen, I have learnt that people who choose to love us deserve trust. That life is about giving our best to those that choose to give us their best. That we have a responsibility to “let it go” so that it does not affect someone else. That trusting someone is priceless, it’s up to them to let you down or lift you up. But in the letting go you give others the freedom to love you without boundaries. I have met some awesome people of late, who have shown me what good people are. But I also remember that awesome people give their very best to each other. Second best is not good enough, so “let it go” just let it go.

  
Be frozen

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.

5 years.

Tags

achieve, animal, attitude, blood cancer, Bloodcancer, bone, cancer, desire, destiny, encouragement, energy, facebook, family, friends, given, help, Hodgkin'sLymphoma, hope, hospital, life, lire, love, loved, muscle, neurology, oncology, partner, raise awareness, relentless, silverback, Spirituality, stories, struggle, survived, survivor, together, transplant, travel, tvr, twitter, Writing

5years
Wow, we made it if you are reading this, we have been married for 5 years today. There have been times we thought we would not make it due to my illness. But here we are celebrating 5 years marriage after the most cruel 5 years anyone could have imagined. Even yesterday a friend of mine lost his fight. It’s so sad that life has to end at some point, but it’s the same for us all.

  
I don’t want to be alive and do nothing with this precious life, it does not matter to me that we have fought to be here, what matters is that we are here, that our love has lasted. That I have a wife that’s not only faithful, but loves me with her whole heart. I can’t get through today without remembering my friend James we talked often on messenger. It’s amazing to have had a friend in him, an honest fun person.

  
I have to thank my wife for being my rock for 11 years, it’s now our 12th together. But oh what an amazing day 07/10/10 was. I am so grateful to have you as my wife Andie your amazing. Thank you for being with me and making our life together special. Thank you for being there for me always, you are not only my world but my everything. You give me reason to breath, you are my everything.

  
So today, everything is put aside to celebrate our life together, more over because it’s a miracle that I am alive. I thank God, I thank my mum, my dad, and all of my family and friends for all your support to bring us to this day. Thanks to all who are here with us today, your here because you mean something to us.

  
Have a great day.
Cheers
Mark n Andie 
http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.

DO OR DO NOT, THERE IS NO TRY.

Tags

cancer, Cancerstories, forever, life, live, living, love, loving, memories, starwars, yoda

Do or do not, there is no try.

One of the things you can’t do, yes I know I said the word I don’t use. But how can someone try, how can a person say for instance “I will TRY to beat cancer” how can any person try to do anything. What does try mean. For me it’s DO or DO NOT. Don’t play at life, it’s a life to enjoy not endure, although I do realise that we all have to endure things in life if we are to achieve anything. Success is in achievement, not trying. I don’t even think the word should exsist.

  
Take this example, when I had the conversation with Benny it went like this. ” Do you think I should have the bone marrow transplant Benny” ? You have to realise we have the same mentality, the same ethos the same will and drive to succeed. If we put our minds to anything we do, we don’t try. We believe in our capabilities, and if we don’t know the answer we ask or find out what the answer is and make it happen.

  
His response was to say this “Mark I want you around for a long time we have allot more fun to have yet” how true, but maybe he will never know how much strength he gave me by saying that. how amazing that we can do what ever it is we want to do, we just have to be unwaivered in our quest. Be diligent and determined to make something happen. It boils down to people deciding to be assertive or wishy washy. Those that know me know, I don’t do wishy washy. It’s not how things get done, it’s not how I can make anything happen.

  
I did what I did (beating cancer twice) because I focused on the end result and believed I could DO. I focused on doing not trying, I also did it for the people that wanted me to beat it, my wife of course was at the top of that list as was family. I believe everyone is capable of being the winner. I believe it’s in Us all, but we must never say try only do or do not. There is no grey area in my head anyway.
What do you think?
Have a great day
Mark 
http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.

Choose to be happy.

Tags

ABVD, beam, Bloodcancer, bone, Bonecancer.transplant, cancer, change, chemotherapy, choice, haematology, happiness, happy, health, hematolohy, Hodgkins, hogkins!Lymphoma, Ice, myloma, PET CT, positive, remission, results, scan, scanner, survive

Choose to be happy.
So as you know I have been on the fight of my life, but it has not affected the world only my world. People carry on as if there is no problem what so ever, like there has never been an issue. People greet me and are not concerned with what the past has been for us. Just now, just today matters. Tomorrow is of no concern what so ever, because my fights were not theirs. Everyone has their own lives to live, which has its own challenges, our surrounding may challenge us. Our surroundings may even push us to the limits.

  
I do my best to be the best I can be every day, let’s take today Sunday 5.30am, yesterday 5.30am and the day before at 5.30am. The man on the yellow digger does not know how he is affecting my life by waking me up every morning. That the pneumatic chisel wakes me up and challenges my happiness. That I need my rest and its vital for my recovery from the 5 year fight. He has no clue what he is doing to me, no clue that I am woken up by this horrible sound. He has his own life to live and his own life to be happy in. Maybe he starts work so early so he can finish and care for his family. Maybe it’s just to hot to work in a digger later on which I totally get, and understand. How does this change my day? Well it doesn’t, what changes my day is my attitude to it.

  
So how will I combat this disappointment, well at least until we are moved. I will and am playing up beat music to keep my heart happy, I will smile at all the staff. I will bid everyone good day, I will treat my heart well. I will not get to unhappy and trust whilst I have spoken to all the people I can to change our situation I can do nothing about the situation. Only others can change it for us, so for that I am happy that people are helping us to change this for us. 

  
For me it’s about accepting what I cannot change, doing my best to change what’s in my control, then giving my best to those around me. Which I will continue to do… I hope you are having a happy day, and choosing to make your day as good as possible with out other people’s decisions affecting it. 

  
Have a great week. 
Mark
http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.

Manners cost nothing.

Manners cost nothing
Hilarious people watching, in the airport lounge at Gatwick, next to us were 2 sets of chairs with a reserved sign on the table clearly for some groups. Two rather grumpy looking and sounding women enter, “everywhere is reserved, we will sit here until they arrive” yes Madame says the polite stewardess we will relocate you when they arrive. My opinion was to just sit where there was no reserved sign but we are all different I guess.
I went to go and get some perfume, on my return the people were being moved, with very long grumpy faces. Complaining and making it known that they were not happy to have been relocated, even though someone else had quite obviously paid to reserve the area so the group were sat together. You would though wouldn’t you…

  
I mean take our morning experience, we woke at 7 am went down to breakfast only to find it was not included in the room we had paid for but the car parking was. I found myself being quite miffed about it, proberbly because I had actually gotten in the que to find that our names were not on the list. I was hungry, n you don’t mess with a hungry me. It’s the one time when I just don’t deal very well with things when I am hungry, there was a positive spin (you know me) we would eat at the airport. Sat next to the grumpy girls on the reserved seats.

  
Every cloud has a silver lining I guess, and I have been fed and gotten a blog out it for you to read to. Well I will carry on carrying on, making sure we find positives at every turn.. 
Have a great weekend
Mark
http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.

Upper class.

Tags

cancer, Cancerstories, holiday, hope, Richard, upper class, Virgin

Upper class. 
So what’s this all about, seems when you travel on Virgin you can choose which class you want to travel in. Economy, premium economy, or upper class. I was watching all the people going to the upper class desk, I wondered why they were going to be in upper class. They seemed no different to me or my wife, so what was it? Did they pay to go there, my wife said it costs an arm and a leg to get on upper class. No way I was doing that, but I can’t stand it not having the best. Which upper class obviously is, the very best.

  
As we discussed it seemed it was actually the UPPER deck of the plane. Normal some might say. But not me, although I knew there were planes with an upper deck it was amazing to see people going up the stairs to their seat or (BED) wow a bed in the sky how cool is that really. A 10 hour flight on a bed, just sounds expensive to me, I guess a real treat to. I guess that would have been ace to have gotten a bed esp as we were not only celebrating beating cancer twice, but also our 5th wedding anniversary that we would be celebrating also. But I was not about to get a mortgage out to do that. Economy is not that bad. You have your legs out in front of you crossed. Shoes off, a TV with lots of films to watch. Games should you wish and the staff are very friendly.

  
It’s funny though how all the stewardesses made us both feel like we were in upper class, it was like every passenger was to them special. I for one felt special and I know others around me did to. So I didn’t need to pay the princely sum to go in Upper class. We were made to feel that by the girls and steward that served us. One of the girls even shared with me her experience of cancer, which made me feel an overwhelming feeling of compassion towards her, you just don’t know who your audience is do you. But guys if you read this, thank you for making our Virgin experience so special. 

  
This plane is like a hotel in the sky, no doubt. Flying scares me, it scares me more because you have no control. I enliken it to isolation, where I had no control at all, I also had to imagine I was in a different place to get through it at times. Even able to smell the salt of the sea as the waves came crashing down. We are amazing people, (if we want to be) 

  
I remember the smell of bacon, sea, and sausages on the beach at 5 am with my mum and dad. That’s not upper class but it’s a great memory, I am not to sure why the passengers pay so much to be seen as upper class however. One thing is for sure no matter how high the plane goes they are always a little higher. So maybe not so much upper class as higher up. But one thing is for sure upper class must be a pleasant way to travel. Apparently you don’t need to que at the carousel either.
It did not matter how much they paid, we were made to feel great. For that I have to say. Thanks Virgin, and Richard Branson for making it happen.
All the best
Mark n Andie 
http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.

Your perfect.

Tags

content, family, happiness, hope, Laughter, love, together

Many times when I have been walking down the street as a single man, wondering if I should stop and turn around and tap the girl with the amazing face and long flowing hair, and most amazing fragrance on the shoulder. My oh my, how glad I am that I didn’t, how glad I am that I am with the girl I am with today. 17th July 2004 was an amazing day. A day that changed our lives, a day where we both knew life would not be the same again. What an amazing gift love is, how very precious. We only ever get one chance “today” it’s amazing how 2 people can have faced so much, yet be unwaivered. When I hold my wife, I feel a completeness, a wholeness that’s sweet and pure. When I hear the words from her lips “I love you” a feeling I have that is repeated every time she says it. It’s a feeling of belonging, security, and home. Like I am home, happy and content all at the same time.

  
There is nothing more amazing than that word “family” it’s a place where only family will feel it. Only people that belong will experience that, only people that have a family will feel that love. Finding the person that sets on fire the spark within you, is amazing, it’s an incredible journey walking with that person by your side. Yes it’s true I am not perfect, but I am perfect for my Andie. She is perfect for me, because we just don’t look at the imperfections, but if accidentally I do look, I find myself loving those as well. Perfection does not always have to be what’s perfect in another’s eyes. It’s about what’s perfect for you.

  
Don’t settle for second best, don’t allow yourself to find your non perfect, be patient and make sure you have the right person. Make sure that person is your perfect, know they are your perfect. That they make your hair stand up, make you want to skip, make you want to dance like no ones watching. Since beating cancer these things have won my heart more than silver or gold. More than a fast car, a nice house, family is what matters. Family is at the heart of ALL that matters. The family you have matters, even if that’s him and her. 
What’s your perfect?
Mark
http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else.

Play pause or record.

Everything that has happened, has been recorded. Everything we are going to do will be recorded, our choice is to record what we want to, knowing it will take its place in history. I often think of things that have happened in the recorded section of my brain, I tend to press play on the ones I do, to try and benefit our future. No point pressing play on a time that will be of no help. The things that have happened we can’t change, but the things we are going to do we choose to do or not to do. It’s our choice in the end. It’s also our choice to press pause. You are the master of your own destiny, no one else can take the blame. You can not say it’s his or her fault, it’s your choice. Your life and you choose how you live your own life your way.

  
It winds me up big time when people judge others because it’s not what they would do. It even winds me up when I do it myself, I always Grrr to myself when I do it. Because let’s face it we all do, but I want to be better than that, I want to be able to press play and remember with pride what I have or have not done. Like coming home from my lads holiday, I am proud that I did that for my own health sake. For me what would be the point in fighting cancer, to throw it all away for a few nights of laughter. NON.

  
It’s about BEING the best I can be, not trying to do anything. There is no try, only do or do not. It sounds so weak to me when I hear someone say “I will try” what does that mean anyway. Try!?! Do or choose to not do, that’s where your winning and loosing is done right there. By choosing to do the right thing. Remember this though, if someone thinks what you do do is the wrong thing, that’s their opinion which does not make it right or wrong. The most important is how you feel about it, someone else’s opinion is actually non of yours or my business. We should concentrate on our own recordings of our own moments that are created, in our own library to be proud of.

  
My friend the other day made a very valid point that if we are to forgive others we need to forgive ourselves to. I accept that and forgive myself for any of my recorded past that I am not happy with, knowing that they are cast as far as the East is from the west. Because I am forgiven, I believe there is only one that has forgiven us for what some call sins. I like to call them recordings, because in my opinion some of them are actually great to play time and time again. Whoever is not me that disagrees is also their recording, and I have no right to judge their path. One bigger than me will do that on a day that has not yet been recorded.

  
I hope you have fun this weekend recording memories you will play over and over. 

Pause.

Mark