How humbled I am.

Tags

beareviment, believe, cancer, cudos, family, happines, healing, hope, human kindness, joy, love, LoveLoved, share, smile, survivor

How humbled I am.
Yesterday, I got my results that I worked so hard to get. Getting there meant giving up smoking, giving up a way of life really and living what I call a clean life. I put up in a couple of groups, rather gingerly I must say because beating cancer twice, was completely off topic for the groups I posted in. I wondered how people would respond. I worried that maybe people would make references to me posting something in a group that it was completely not about. Wow I need not have worried.

  
One group I posted in called “Benidorm – seriously” set up by a lady called Tracey Anne Essex received it really well, getting quite literally hundreds of messages from people all over the world. Do you know over 1,100 people have liked that post to date. Another group called “Leyland memories” a place where I grew up. Set up by Paul Gregson. Had the same post and again hundreds of people have wished us well, some having also seen the article in the Lancashire evening post. Reported by Aasma day 

http://www.lep.co.uk/news/community/cancer-fighter-mark-beats-disease-twice-despite-delayed-diagnosis-1-7481482

Again over 450 people have liked it there to, more people have joined our cancer stories support group to, just because I wanted people to know that cancer can be beaten. Now please don’t get me wrong it’s not easy to beat, it takes pure grit and determination. But it also takes support from people like Anne, and Paul who don’t know me by the way. It takes for people like that to be generous, understanding, and forthright. I have gained allot of courage from the gestures of all thes people that have commented. It’s been quite emotional seeing the numbers go up like seconds on a digital clock. I appreciate each and every one, I am just sorry I have not been able to respond to all your comments.

  
To beat cancer you need a support network, you need people around you that support you, having family that is there for you is one thing, but total strangers who don’t know you giving you kindness is just priceless and humbling at the same time. Here is the link to our group.
https://m.facebook.com/groups/1595998743956536
Never under estimate what your kindness means to a sufferer it enthuses, and gives energy to that person, just maybe knowing that there are people out there thinking about them gives you a little more energy to carry on. It’s not just the person having treatment, it’s the care givers that need support to. They are on their very own journey to, and need a support network in the same way. 

  
People have ( for some reason ) even when I was critically ill, come to me for support and advice. Which I gladly gave, and continue to do today. It’s not about cudos, it’s about sharing your experience, sharing how it was. That’s what cancer stories is all about, sharing with each other how we felt at certain times in the treatment process, for caregivers patients and people affected by it, having seen a friend or family member struggle with Cancer. It’s a nice place to be when you can put aside your own struggles, and offer some support, I don’t know maybe it makes us feel good to do that. What I do know is, the sun is rising on a new day, and I am privileged to be in it.

  
It’s made all the better by your human kindness, a smile does not cost much. Spread a little love, it costs nothing after all.
Have a great weekend
And thank you
All the best Mark
http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. It took me an hour to write, but will take you a second to share.

The most important thing in life.

Tags

cancer, forgiveness, health, help, hope, love, nhs, winner

The most important thing in life.
You ever stopped to think what’s the most important thing on earth. Whats more important than anything else. I have had a dream for about a year now perhaps a little longer. Since I went to a lovely village in Pembrokeshire. A dream to live in a house there, and run a holiday cottage separate to the house. 

  
It’s something we all need, no one of us is excluded from animals to humans. We rely on it for our very existence, so much is dependant on it. As you all know by now I am recovering from cancer, in something that some call, Recovery, or remission. I have been here before, but the dream did not exist back then because I had never been to Pembrokeshire and seen the amazing place. You see, it really does not matter what your post code is as to where you have to go for check ups. Although it’s an awesome thing to think or even dream, to live the life we both dream of. Without my health I would not live any life, southport hospital has without doubt saved my life, twice. Without the team there I would not be living the life I have. So to move to another hospital where I don’t know anyone is daunting to say the least. I won’t have to, why? Because I am a fast tracked target patient. Why do I get this preferential treatment, well that’s because I invested in health care by agreeing to go on a trial that in years to come will help other patients.
  
Neither of us can see my health compromised, after all it’s the one thing that enables us all to do. What can we do without our health, unless of course you are an extra ordinary person like Stephen Hawkins, who goes to work every day by the way. I see people with all sorts of disorders when I go to the hospital where I am right now. People having to deal with all sorts of things, it’s humbling just to be able to talk with these people and share things with them.

Isn’t it amazing how our blood can defend against disorders in our bodies, without the NHS what would we do as a nation, how would we get better. It brings me to another fact of how the pharmaceutical companies make so much money in the process, but without them how would we get healed. Well I do think that there are ways of healing ourselves naturally, but who has those answers. I have a friend called Rob who is teaching me much about how to look after myself by what we do, say, and eat. I have another friend called Paul who is teaching me much about nutrition. Well not so much teaching as opposed to leading me to the right places.
  
But believe me the most important thing in life to cherish is your health, of course it’s not just a healthy body. It’s a out mind, body and spirit. They are all important parts of our health, in future blogs I will touch on ideas in relation to those different areas of our health. Because they all help us to stay in good shape. Have a great Friday, we will be out celebrating getting the all clear and going on 3 monthly visits. 
Keep well and all the best
Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. It took me an hour to write, but will take you a second to share.

You want to be rich?

Tags

autum, beauty, belief, Breath, cancer, cancer stories fight, countryside, enjoyment, happiness, hope, leaves, love, money, rich, riches, work

You are and you don’t even know it, the things that cost no money are the most worthwhile things that we have, but yet you won’t even bother to be thankful for it or them. You proberbly won’t even share this blog. Think about everything that you may moan about, car won’t start, a bill, some work you have had done on the house, how far a journey is, traffic, the government,taxes, etc etc are these all not a consequence of your very own success. People moan and groan about this and that, the neighbours (me included i am human to) the bin men, having to do meanial tasks, like cleaning, washing up, hoovering. But we forget ( well I do anyway ) sometimes what we do have that no amount of money can buy.

  
My thoughts go to people that have had berievments, I mean Micheal Jacksons money could not save him from himself, or his health. Amy wine house what a waste, Whitney, and many many more. Their money could not save them from the disorders that contributed to them eventually dieying or self destructing, depends how you choose to look at it. One thing is for sure however, is that some are wise with their wealth. Cliff Richard maybe, I don’t know who but there are people out there that don’t squander it on drink and drugs.

  
So what am I trying to say, it’s quite simple really. Some of you reading this may already do it, but others from the moment they wake up to the moment they go to sleep are 100 miles an hour and don’t stop to appreciate anything, what’s the point in life if we can’t stop to enjoy it, if we can’t rest a little and take in the amazing surroundings that is called our world. The things that are free, the things we exsperience that cost nothing at all except our time. They are the things that make us rich, they are the things that make life worth living.

  
It’s autum right now, and the colours on the leaves make for spectacular photographs. The birds that sing in the trees throw out an amazing chorus, the simple sounds of children playing having fun. It’s not hassle to clean up the mess it’s a consequence of giving an exsperience to a child finding out about life. Splashing in puddles, kicking the autum leaves and making that leafy sound. Being able to dance, sing, smile and be happy. These are priceless, the things we can do that cost nothing, the walks with our dog (should you have one) the views our eyes can see, the sound of the sea, wildlife that we come across. They all should have the wow factor. But we don’t even stop to appreciate them. I want to suggest that tomorrow if your busy schedule allows, that you stop for a while. That you take a moment to take in the morning chorus of the birds singing, to just appreciate that you have air to breath, you have a life to live and a family to love, even if there is no more family just you. We are all connected somehow, we have all got things to be grateful for, and people we can share it with.

  
Choose to think about what’s priceless in your life, choose to be happy about that rather than the negativity that after all if you think about it. All that’s negative is created by man, be it in our minds or by machine. Choose to take a moment to look at the sunset and sunrise. It’s an amazing world if we take the time to look around at how rich you really are.

    
 Enjoy your day, and the riches that surround you

Mark
http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. It took me an hour to write, but will take you a second to share.

Falling is learning.

Tags

cancer, Cancer stories, past, present

I was first introduced to this concept a long time ago, by a very wise man. Who maybe to many is not seen this way, for me he gave up his time for me when I needed to hear the things he helped me to see about myself. This person helped me to see that falling down in what ever form is actually a good thing. That trials and tribulations is a good thing, that whilst some may see it as a hinderance it’s actually our attitude to it, and our physical response to it that shows the substance of who we actually are. I am talking about those that get up when they get knocked down. Then again get up next time they are knocked down. Not complaining or wanting anyone to see, just getting up and carrying on. 5.50am today which will be yesterday by the time you read this, I was reminded of this concept. I have a friend called Rhys, I remember having my hair cut by him when he was an apprentice. 

  
My words to him were “don’t give up my friend, you have it in you to be a winner” the fact is we all do, it’s just some of us choose to be under the circumstances as apposed to using the circumstances to our advantage. You see, those that do, are those that win. Those that keep moving forwards, they are the people that use the circumstances to drive them. Why? Because we learn from those circumstances. Let me explain.

Again I was taught this early in life, so very simple yet so meaningful. When a person falls down, some are kicked whilst on the floor, bullied even. Why is that, do they deserve it. Of course not, but isn’t it down to how we respond to it that matters, rather than what has happened. People will always let you down, no one has your interests at heart only thier own, they will use you to get what they want. For me it’s  again about response. You see, when you fall for what ever reason. Then get back up, I don’t know if you have noticed but you never get up in the same place. You have moved forwards a step, because you got up. If however you sit for a while then get up, you will have forgotten where you were when you fell. It is only about how YOU respond, no one else will be at fault. 

  
How many times have you heard someone say, it’s not my fault. I have been guilty if it myself, saying sentences like “it’s because” “well if” no no no, it’s down to you, learn by getting up. Believe in yourself as opposed to blaming your surroundings or situations you find yourself in. Another friend calls her cancer ” a bump in the road ” I admire people like that. Get up and move forwards, you and only you can change your destiny, it starts with you getting up, dusting yourself off and stepping forwards. Feel challenged? Great, then you will learn today something you would not have, had you not chosen to get up and step forwards.

  
I myself have turned cancer on its head, making something seemingly horrific (which it is) into something that blesses others every day that I write. Well I believe it will help someone everyday, you don’t have to have suffered cancer to get something out of what is written here. Please share it on social media, I can’t control what you do but ask that if it’s resinated something with you, click the share button. I can assure you, that could affect someone’s life in a good way changing the direction they are heading. 

  
Feel free to let me know what the result was. I love results can’t stand excuses.

Have a great week,

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. It took me an hour to write, but will take you a second to share.

New Tab on Teacup Talk and My Most Sincere Thank Yous!

I am amazed to find this, I think some of this blog is about me, and I cannot tell you how humbled I feel. All I can say is thank you xx

Source: New Tab on Teacup Talk and My Most Sincere Thank Yous!

Time for some honesty.

Tags

Cancer stories, energy, fatigue, fulfilment, hope, living, love, reality, recovery, work

Dont think by the title of this that I am not honest with myself, because I most certainly am. The truth is though I have been feeling quite lonely, like I am a spare part. You see when your in treatment your busy, your visiting hospitals all the time. Your doctors become your friend, being woken up in the night because your pic line is wrapped around your neck becomes the norm. I don’t have any of that now, just this journey called recovery. It’s like life has come to a screeching halt, and after life was so packed full of visits, I need to do something more and I am starting to put pressure on myself to do that. That’s not good, I can’t feel stress like I used to, I can’t live my life in the rat race anymore. Why did I get cancer in the first place, well I think it was brought on by neighbours that drank till silly hours of the morning, when we both needed to be up for work the next day. Knocking on the walls, throwing bottles over the fence and sleeping in till ridiculous o’clock.

  
I like to sort problems out there and then, but there was non of that with these people they seemed to be on self destruct. My blood boiled every night, I had my fists clenched most evenings because of it. Their TV was mounted on the wall that was an adjoining wall, which always was at high volume. It was a horrific 4 years. The house we live in now has no such problems, we don’t have a connecting wall with a Nieghbour and feel fortunate to have good neighbours around us. Sometimes you have to make your own luck in life though don’t we,  we have to make a move that will make life easier and better. 

  
We have been very fortunate in my cancer journey, people from all over the world have supported us, as far away as Australia. When I think about going back to work ( it’s been a long time ) I can’t help thinking that helping people is where I need to be, comforting families and being compassionate towards others that are fighting. Really I need to be dedicating my life to doing that not building an empire. Putting pressure on myself to earn a decent income again, there are opportunities out there that I think I will have a go at, but have no exspectations of income.   

Even whilst on my own journey, I have reached out to others offering a helping hand. I actually found it helped me to reach out, I felt needed and appreciated. Now it just feels like I am being lazy, getting my strength back is so important. People are always commenting how healthy I look, how amazed they are at how well I look. That’s just the outside though, trust me it does not feel like that from inside. I still feel tired allot, and feel that walking is an effort, you won’t ever see that when you look at me. You will just see a determined man, doing his best to give the best of me to my wife. Cancer fatigue is like wading through thick mud as you step forwards, it’s not like a normal tired where a little sleep will sort you out. It’s hard to exsplain unless you have felt it yourself.

  
I just felt today that I needed to tell you how it is, that it’s not all as rosey as it may appear from the outside. That also if your feeling something similar to me, that you are not alone, that it’s normal. I most certainly need a new challenge but for now until I find that new challenge that fits in with my situation in recovery then I will continue to write here, I WILL continue to DO. I guess I give myself a hard time, but if I don’t who can. I am almost convincing myself writing this singular blog. To stop blogging and get back on with my book. I have not picked it up for a while because someone discourages me from writing it, saying no one will want to read about me. But you know what, it’s time to listen to myself. It’s time to complete what I set out to do, there are people out there that have encouraged me no matter what, and I should blank out the rest and just focus on the positives. Listen to the advice despensed in that blog called fonzandcancer. 

  
Forgive me for my ramblings. No prizes for guessing what I am doing today.

I hope you have a great day, and thanks for reading.

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. It took me an hour to write, but will take you a second to share.

Kill me if you dare.

Tags

belief, cancer, Cancer stories, exsperience, hope, Laughter, love, loved, survived, survivor

That’s my attitude to cancer, myself as a person am way to stubborn to allow a disease to take away my freedom. To control my life, to dictate to me for long periods. My brother once said to me, “we allow visits from cancer, but never to stay.” My first blog was just these words. “I am Mark, a cancer fighter. I WILL WIN” I was determined unwaivered from my end goal to beat cancer. I know doctors dish out statements  like how long you have to live, the amount of chemo that’s required. All sorts of pharmaceutical prescriptions, and although some work we are as humans finding out ways to combat cancer using natural solutions. I say over and over again, we are what we eat and we should all be very cautious about what we put inside our bodies.

  
Of course you can’t really educate yourself with a passion until you have been touched by cancer, we learn to look after ourselves by how hard we have had to fight. Please understand I am not a doctor I just speak of what I have learnt on my journey. I am in no way telling you how to be, just what’s working for myself. I have many friends with completely different ideas, I find it interesting hearing people’s opinions and outcomes of thier own trials. As a friend of mine said the other day, it’s about putting quality food into our bodies grown to the highest standard, produced naturally not enhanced by chemicals. I think he is right, but that’s my own opinion. Oh how I love opinions, they can’t be wrong can they, because no ones opinion can be challenged just disagreed with. But exsperience can’t even be disagreed with, because it is just that. Thier exsperience. It can’t be challenged, it is after all something that’s happened to the person. As a consequence of that exsperience an opinion is formed.

  
I found a new love in writing, a new journey that will take me where ever I want it to take me. It’s certainly a trip, and one I absolutely love. Maybe one day I may have an opportunity to make something from it. Of course if you have read them all you will know that my mind has been changed, because of the journey I have found myself in. New ways of thinking, new thought patterns, new friends, losing who thought were my very best friends, but finding out who are true and honest, dependable and upright. Even losing friendships has strengthened me and helped me to realise what and who is and are important to us both. 

  
I don’t get it right all the time, I am human but one thing is for sure, life is so satisfying these days. I have a friend who I have never met, well a few. The person I think of is a lady, her name is Sue. Everyday I write she encourages me, it’s admirable and energising for me. She helps me to blog everyday just by reading and commenting on what is written here. I do struggle sometimes just to get stuff down especially over the past 2 weeks whilst I have been unwell. But I am sure of this one fact. That we are all here to benefit each other, and it’s up to us to choose to do that in whatever capacity that may be. Stand strong, never give up, not ever, dare to keep moving forwards never ever losing site of your goal. YOU WILL WIN.

Have a great week.

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. It took me an hour to write, but will take you a second to share.

Who were you?

Alone, are you happy with who you are? Do you think you can be better, are you the best you can be.Were you always as good as you could be?  Does it even matter what you were?

Well for me it matters greatly what you were, because it means you will have or not learnt certain things in your life. What you were Helps to Mold what you will become.The lessons we have learnt shape who we are today. I love the sentence in the lion king, when simbas girlfriend says to him “you are more than what you have become” because we all are arnt we until the day we die. My wife always says to me when she learns something new “every day’s a school day” 

  
Everyday when I get up, well right now I have not gotten up, and I won’t until I have written today’s blog. Then at some point today I will write tomorrow’s proberbly when my wife’s watching City beat United. Anyway everyday when I get up I rejoice, I almost skip because I am that greatful to have a new day ahead of me. So many times on the cancer fight I could have given up, so many times I could have turned and wasted what was left of my life. But I didn’t, I for one am overjoyed just to be able to write to you and for you. Does it really matter who I was, we all know it did at the time we know it shaped who we are today. But today is what matters, what we do right now is what matters. So even though football is not on my to do list, my wife is passionate about it, so it’s a time I will enjoy it with her whilst also doing what I am passionate about.

  
When I complete my 365 days blogging each day, we are going to see some of this amazing country we live in, Scotland perhaps. But definitely Cornwall and Devon. Take my wife to see my friends at Gilead who I seem to back in touch with so many of them of late. The place where so many folk had good intentions towards the people there, a place where I saw miriacles happen. Baby lambs being born, calves being born, piglets born and people’s lives were touched by a person I call God by his Holy Spirit. It’s easy to forget where we have been, and what we were. But it’s healthy I think sometimes to remember so we can be grateful for what we have become.

  
I am grateful I had the mindset to find the strength to beat cancer, I am grateful to all the people that contributed. The nurses, doctors medical staff in what ever capacity because YOU gave me life. I will now walk the dog with a thankful heart, I may even have the odd skip as I walk (now that will look odd) are you grateful for your life?  Have you ever thought “who was I” have a go it will do you good.

Have a. Great day

Mark

  http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. It took me an hour to write, but will take you a second to share.

This is my church, this is where I heal my hurts.

Tags

church, family, honesty, hope, love

This is my church

This is where I heal my hurts

This is my church

This is where I heal my hurts

This is my church

This is where I heal my hurts
It’s a natural grace

Of watching young life shape

It’s in minor keys

Solutions and remedies

Enemies becoming friends

When bitterness ends
This is my church [2x]

This is where I heal my hurts

For tonight

God is a DJ
This is my church

This is where I heal my hurts

  
Of course it means my blog to me,  it means the people that I speak to daily. People on CS,  the word church means “people” it means that we as a group of people make up church. It is not a building, it is not a place made from bricks. It’s a place where real people meet, and are real. Not judgmental people, being hypocrites on a Sunday. Being a different person on a Monday to the person they show they are on a Sunday. It’s about accepting people for who they are, maybe suggesting new ways to be. But just acceptance, not judging mistakes. Only one can do that, and I know for a fact that is not me.

  
It’s sad to say, but for me. I only felt at home in one church, a church in Swansea. Called new covenant, it’s the only place I found where people were real and didn’t ask for money every week. It’s about giving and being the best you everyday. It’s about giving from the heart because you want to, not because a minister says you have to. For me anyway, church is not even possible for some people which is why so many find solice on the Internet. We find comfort in Gods people, We find that people in worse situations than us reach out to us.

  
Don’t get me wrong I think there is a place for church, but not for condemnation. Church should be a place of acceptance, a place where you feel at home, not pointed at and judged. The verse in the bible springs to mind Mathew 7 vs 1 “judge not, or you yourself will be judged” 

I hope this makes sense to someone.

Have a great day.

Mark

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. It took me an hour to write, but will take you a second to share.

Positively negative.

Tags

belif, calm, can, help for heroes, hope, humanity, negative, positive, will

Today I want to talk with you about something positive, yes of course I understand that there cannot be a positive without a negative or how would we know it was positive. Like there has to be a down if there is an up. A left if there is a right, but do negative things have a positive effect on our lives. My answer is Yes. disagree let me explain.
  
When something seemingly negative happens in our lives, like cancer, someone passing, an accident. It makes us STOP, it makes us think about life, take stock maybe think differently about our life. Think thoughts like, why wasn’t I there? What could I have done differently? Why did I not do more? They are all valid thoughts you may think. For me they are very negative, although challenging and if it’s challenging to us, then there has to be a positive outcome right? It’s about using what’s seemingly negative to be positive. A battery can’t produce power without a negative. In fact the negative is what makes the positive exactly that. Positive.

  
When I got cancer the second time my very first thought was, “how can I turn this around to benefit others” I was not going to bury my head and hide like I did the first time. After a great deal of thought and chatting to myself and my wife. I decided to start writing, I gave myself a challenge to write every day for 365 days. I was not very good at it, or so I thought. But one thing I did know was that if I did, then and only then I would get better at it in my recovery. Now I am not saying that I am good at writing, but I am saying that there has to have been an improvement over the last 6 months whilst writing. Hasn’t my thinking at least become more positive, using what I saw as something I was not good at, turned it around and made myself better by being determined. 

  
Our lives, arnt they all about responding to situations, we can see them as negative if we so want to, hold our heads in our hands. OR we can DO something, by that very action of Doing don’t we then start to make that situation positive because we are now doing where we would not have done in the past. If you live in the North west, you will have seen the drab houses that people complained about, even wanted knocking down. In Moston Manchester.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/tv/entries/cce70406-08ae-4162-818b-a40474af68ee

Someone had a vision to use those seemingly dilapidated houses for good, to make them into places for people that have served our country. People that have serious injuries, that require different needs to the normal person. I am sure some folk thought it would never happen. But Nick knowles and his team of people on DIY SOS made the first move. Then people came out of the wood work and helped giving their time for free. It started with a thought that some saw as negative, but Nick turned it into an amazing reality benefiting many families.

So now the families that are in seemingly negative situations, find themselves surrounded by positives, with neighbours that have similar stories. Your journey may start with a negative situation, but you can make that situation a positive one. It may not be you that benefits, but trust me you do in the end. Let’s be a nation that does.
Have a great weekend.
Mark