Super heroes

This is one of the most energising blogs I have ever written. I do hope you read the original post. It’s well worth the 3 minuites of your life.

fonzandcancer blogging to encourage.

what do you want to be? What drives you, what Spurs you on. Well do you mind if I attempt to tell you what drives me. my world has changed dramatically in the last 10 years. My ideas were always about chasing money, wealth to achieve happiness. I am a really keen F1 fan and I remember a quote from Ron Dennis which rings true in my mind “money is only a problem if you don’t have any” it’s so true. I was always striving for the next big thing, the next quick money making scheme , I was driven by greed. I was driven by what I had, not what I could give.

As I have gotten older I realise the words of the Robbie Williams song “youth is wasted on the young”from the song eternity. It really is, because by the time you realise what’s real important in…

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Silverback attitude.

I write this in Isolation 1 year ago today.

fonzandcancer blogging to encourage.

The silver back
In my opinion, a silverback has an amazing attitude. It’s a nick name I have had for some time. You see a silverback does not sit and contemplate. A silver back is a go getter, an animal that lets nothing stop him from achieving his goal. They are the Dodge Charger or TVR or a Ferrari of the animal world. They sound amazing as well as being a mountain of power and muscle.

But is that it, is that all that’s in the armoury of a silver back. I don’t think so, they have an ability to be able to touch gently, and love the little ones in the group of gorillas.
The silver back is not to be annoyed though, the roar and power must be terrifying to the rest of the group. The smaller gorillas running up trees using their agility to escape the mass…

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I am not defined by Cancer

You need a lift today this is for you.

fonzandcancer blogging to encourage.

I have tried to stay away whilst in isolation from my Cancer journey in here and what hell I have been through, I still am going to do that. My life is not about Cancer it’s about me, us. Who we are together that defines us. The friends we choose that become our family. You can generally tell if someone loves you just by how they respond to you, support you. How they are around you. I see it like this if you don’t have to hide the real you, you speak how you speak to them. Then you are talking to a friend, if you have to adjust who you are then your not with a friend.

This is what true friendship looks like.

Although this is family, I believe all friendships are the family we choose. All the way through this journey of isolation I have looked at…

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Honesty about beating Cancer. Twice.

Tags

c, cancer, chemotheropy, eu, hope, love, politics, referendam, together, word

So here I am it’s 12pm I am still in bed, yup that’s right the pain is still with me and I am not able to walk today. If I was that man that was under the circumstances maybe I would feel sorry for myself and maybe even shed a tear, but that’s not me. I actually smile that I have pain, yea it’s true. The smile is because I can actually feel the pain, the pain makes me know I am alive. That although standing hurts, that I have beaten cancer. “Twice”. The pain reminds me every hour of the day how hard the fight was, it reminds me of many other things to. It reminds me of  my family, my friendships, this blog and the support people have given me around the world. The pain makes me grateful to be alive, happy to have life in whatever fashion   that is.


You see for me, life has never been a breeze. Everything I have ever done I have had to do the hard way. But I am sure that I speak for most people on the planet, life’s not easy is it? If it is easy for you then please tell me how you do that? 

What I have realised personally at the age of 47, is that we all have similar battles in different guises. But I don’t think there are many people walking the earth that have an easy time. It’s just most don’t shout about it, or share how they are feeling.mmaybe telling those closest to them and that’s it. Well it was a little different for me as the first time I had it I was given a short time to live without treatment. But even then that was not enough to tell you about it. It was not until I had been around cancer for 3 years and got it again that I was compelled to start writing a blog. I wanted to share my journey when I realised I was going to have to have my transplant. All I knew is that I would win and wanted to share that journey with you.

Yesterday I went back through my blog and looked at some of what I have written over the past year. The posts I was reading began to touch me, it made me feel I was reading someone else’s journey not mine. I know this sounds strange but I started to like the person who had written them. Yea I started to like myself. It’s amazing how I have turned the pain around to me saying ” you have pain, because you have life” yes of course we are not super human and have to listen to our bodies. After all we get pain for a reason right. Mine is because chemo has damaged the ends of my nerves, but surely the pain free option would have not been the best for those around me that loved me.  I have pain because I chose to fight and to beat cancer the way that I did. Yea there was a 1 in 4 chance I would not make it, the pain reminds me I made it everyday.

Pain is a reminder of how strong we are and were is it not?

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

Power of forgiveness

I wrote this 1 year ago. Funny how your own words sometimes get said right back at yourself….

fonzandcancer blogging to encourage.

The power of forgiveness
In life there are many hurdles, some are quite nice and are not an endurance others are a real struggle. Most however require honesty, mostly with yourself. You see if your happy with who you are, you more often than not make the right choices. The only thing we can’t do is make other people’s for them.

We have to learn to accept people for who they are, which I find real hard as my standards in people are so great. I won’t settle for second best, I won’t stand for wishy washy people, that have self richeous opinions. But what I do try to be is honest with all people, which gets me into trouble sometimes.
Who is right, I am open to opinions. One thing I am very aware of is that forgiveness sets others free and no matter what I think or what…

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I just want to thank you.

Tags

bank, cancer, cells, chemotheropy, holiday, hope, LEP, stem, stories, transplant

Oh yes for sure, I am fully aware that I am not perfect. That the man that is Fonz is imperfect and has flaws. Never the less you have read my blogs, maybe even you have found them helpful. Maybe you have shared them. What ever you have done, you have helped me and spurred me on to carry on with my 365 blogs in 365 days. 

Here are the actual number of posts so far via a screen shot

A massive task that maybe even I thought was not possible. Yet here we are 375 days on. Over 700 of you now follow me, many of you have commented and shown me commitment in reading what my murmurings have been. I want to thank each and everyone of you for your part in encouraging me to carry on. 

Here is the post and the names I put up back then.

Thought I would put up some thank yous  

Firstly to my wife Andie Blackwell for being my rock and constant source of strength.

Debbie Beardsworth for the DVDs you sent.

Janette McCreery Reynolds for the listening books all the way from the usa

Becca Parkes for the gifts you sent to my wife. ( sadly passed )

Tea Veenstra and Saskia Woudstra for the card from Holland

 Karl Boardman s children Rhys and Kyle for my good wishes card and also to Karl for looking after my house and car whilst I have been here.

Lisa Wood Daryll and Ian for your good wishes via mail.

Anne-Marie Balfour Eric and children Elsie and Rhona for your lovely presents.

Faith my dog for letting grandma do your faith diaries. 

Ken Blackwell for looking after Faith with my mum.

Jeremy Blackwell for lending me those uplifting books.

Kim Blackwell for supporting my wife often, and talking to her when driving home from hospital to keep her awake.

Zac Blackwell my nephew for lending me my PS3 games.

Joshua Winn for fundraising and your relentlace support. 

Mandy Shanks for your continued support in prayer.

Alison Wilson Johnny Wilson and Molly and boys for your constant support and love at this time for us both.

Beverley Winn for your messages of support.

Carmella Hollington Vale for your continued support.

 Cath Parker and John Chapman for your support and love for us both in this.

Chris Dale,and Lisa Dale ben jack and Alfie for your fun and laughter at times of need. And the picture you put on CS and the special video you made.
Dan Vernon and Helen vernon Rueben and Ethan.

Daniel Alexander Clyburn for being there constantly.

Dave Hollington for your encouragement.

My friend Deanna Harwood Perich who skype do and encouraged us many times during the rough rough moments.

Eileen Salmon for your funny messages daily that have kept my spirits up. ( sadly passed ) 

Ian Ian John Fisher for reminding me of good times we had along with Marie Anna Emily and Ava.

Jan benbow for supporting my wife.

Kirsty Redford for being there for me always and comforting me.

Lakshmi Sharma

Lilian Candy and Pete.

Mags Whitehouse for being there in the small hours to encourage me.

Mel braban for instigigating fund raising event in North Wales

Michelle and Calum for messaging ur sister.

Natalie Burney and MITCH and family for being there even though facing very tough times.

Paul Benson and Jane for your constant love and concideration.

Pauline Phil Lloyd for your encouragement and updates as to your own story here.

Ron Blackwell and Rosalie Blackwell for your constant support.

Sue Winstanley

Alexandra Villemaire in Canada for your reassurance and love.

Thank you to Amanda parfitt

Angela Jack for encouraging me and Andie

Anne Marie slater

Bernadette major

Beth obrien

Bullet tooth tony

Carleene waddicar

Carole Ann Richards you have been a tower of strength

Chantelle Bolton and girls for cheering me up.

Cherlyn Mcsharry and mike and family

Chris Calvert for all your distractions

Chris Oneil and Rachel Robinson

Colin Colin Browne Debbie Browne ur always there.

Colltte mchugh

Dani Makovecz

Daz Manley your a great encouragement

Debbie Debbie Sumner your amazing and I thank you

Dee Taylor

Denise fortune

Diane boocock

Doris livesey

Dorothy Bailey

Eileen Almond my dear friend

Ellen Leigh for your love and sharing your story

Elliott Summerfield

Emily waddicar

Gail Hardman for all your messages and support from you and your boys

Gareth Cartwright rhiannon and family I know this has been tough for you.

Gillian wells you have been here from the start.

Hitesh Ghedia you know.

Ian greenwood for keeping an eye on things

James Clinton Smith for daily encouragement, relentlessly 

James D Peace-Mankiewicz we will have lunch 1 day friend. ( sadly passed )

Janine Taylor and Paul Taylor and family for all your support

Jason Julie Kenningley Mark Kenningley Luke Kenningley and family’s 

Jean ‘Mili’ Thraves you have been a great addition to the group.

Jean Anderson your journey and Billy’s has inspired me.

Jean alty

Jenny hopwood

Jo Jo Paxton

Joel

John Almond you have been a great source of strength

Judith broad bentm

Judith Taylor inspitational person.

Julia Prince x

Julia Wadsworth here for me even though she is having a hard time.

Julie Watson

Julie wood welcome

Karen Charteris

Kathleen Hyams a star

Kayla green

Kieth McIntosh 

Kelly Baxter

Kelly rushton

Klara burton

Les smalley

Linda smalley

Liz peters my dear friend and family

Lorraine Haslett u know.

Louise Hyams

Lyndy

Malaya Arnold

Mandy shanks

Margret Margaret Park xx

Prestwich pharmacy

Marie ash worth

Marius Hantig Adriana my special friends xx

Matanda

Matthew Cross

Michelle hodgeon

Rita hodgeon sadly passed but told her story to us.

Mj Sherman

Nichola kenny a special person
Nicola fortune

Patsy wileman

Pauline birkbeck

Peter bones Wilson a life long friend

Sammie Roberts 

Sanjay Ghedia

Shandee Cabral

Sharron mccrery

Sharron Perry

Shaun Ferguson

Shelley Elizabeth

Simon Naylor Kay and family, becoming true friends.

Sue Daniels

Susan robinson

Tajreen mowla

Tim button

Tin foil tie wrap

Towhida Rahman

Tracey Ann Essex, thanks for your continued support on the benidorm seriously group.

Trisha Houghton

Veronica Bailey

Wendy and rob Cartwright, for your love and friendship over the past 23 years

Wendy case Edwards another fighter in Australia.

Youandi Woudstra an amazing person, and outlook.

These are people that supported us while we were in hospital.

There are many more people in our lives now that we’re not bk then. But I wanted to revisit that post, the people that were there back then. The differance you make in people’s lives. I want to encourage you to say the encouraging words you need to say. Because with out you someone may not get the words they need that day. What you say and do can and will make so much of a differance. All you have to do is agree to do it yourself.
Don’t not encourage the person you are compelled to do today, today will be the past tomorrow. But it will also be a new today and a new start and chance to help someone. 

But Will you?

Thanks to all of you that have been there for us, the new friends we have made since this article was written. Thank you.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

At your lowest, is a good thing.

For all of you who are struggling today.

fonzandcancer blogging to encourage.

Thats when you choose to be a success or give up. That’s when winners stand and move forwards, I know what it’s like down there to be in a mire of depression and seeming gloom. I have had to make those choices to give up or get up. Yes at certain times in my life, it’s been tough to get up. Life with cancer takes your lowest to a new low that I did not think was possible. I am talking about facing chemo, the procedures we have to have because of cancer. I saw a picture yesterday of someone fighting cancer that quite literally made me feel sick. So what if I was that person, how much worse would I have felt.

Many people will have stopped reading in the first paragraph, but if your reading still it’s because your battling something in your life. It may not be…

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Conqueror.

Tags

belief, bible, cancer, chemotheropy, faith love, hope, jesus, relationship

Throughout the year if you look back at my blog, I have spoken many times how I would rather stand tall and fight. Rather than roll over and allow the cancer to defeat me, I woke up this morning with this song ringing in my head so clearly. I wondered if I had it in my I tunes collection. What do ya know, it was there so I have routed out the you tube video. It’s the words that ring true in my head, because my blog is about encouragement. That you can. That you WILL. That life will get better that your dreams can be a reality.

Life is like a big merry-go-round,

You’re up and then down,

Going in circles trying to get to where you are.

Everybody’s been counting you out,

Where are they now?

Sitting in the same old place,

Just faces in the crowd.

We all make mistakes,

You might fall on your face,

But you gotta get up!
[Chorus:]

I’d rather stand tall

Than live on my knees,

‘Cause I am a conqueror,

And I won’t accept defeat!

Try telling me no,

One thing about me

Is I am a conqueror,

I am a conqueror!

Ooh oh
Got a vision that no one else sees,

Lot of dirty work, roll up your sleeves,

Remember there’s a war out there,

So come prepared to fight!

You never know wherever the road leads you,

Not everyone’s gonna believe you,

Even though they’re wrong, don’t prove them right.
[Chorus:]

I’d rather stand tall

Than live on my knees,

‘Cause I am a conqueror,

And I won’t accept defeat!

Try telling me no,

One thing about me

Is I am a conqueror,

I am a conqueror!

Ooh oh
I am a conqueror!

We all make mistakes,

You might fall on your face,

but you gotta get up!

We all make mistakes,

You might fall on your face,

Don’t ever give up!
[Chorus:]

I’d rather stand tall

Than live on my knees,

‘Cause I am a conqueror,

And I won’t accept defeat!

Try telling me no,

One thing about me

Is I am a conqueror,

I am a conqueror!

Ooh oh
I am a conqueror

We all make mistakes,

You might fall on your face,

But I am a conqueror!
The song speaks of moving on from your mistakes, but I want to use it in your battle. What ever that may be. Relationship, desease, illness, berievment, some sadness in your life. This post is for you, to tell you, to proclaim that you can over come. That you, yes you are more than a conquerer. In life we all come across the hurdles that try to make us fall on our face, and yes sometimes we do find ourselves flat on our faces wondering what the hell just happened. But there is beauty to be found in this situation you find yourself in. Because if you find yourself on the floor, there is only one way you can go from there and that’s up. To stand and face what’s to come, to stand tall and be a conquerer. It is of course but a choice and it is up to us to start again. Today is day 366+ since my BMT now I am starting to believe I will be cancer free forever. That all the prayers, kind messages of faith love and hope have given me the strength to conquer cancer. Given me the strength and passion to defeat the evil that is cancer.


I want you to know, that even if you feel you are unable. That right there is where you show your fellow man your strengths, because when we feel we are not able to carry on, that right there is when we are able to show just what we are made of. That’s where the true winners are, at the end of the rope. They are the ones that tie a knot in the rope and dig in, I want to encourage you today. That what you think is impossible is possible, that you can. That YOU are more that a conquerer. 

I truly believe that you can, and I hope that you choose to stand tall today.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

The End.

I wrote this a year ago.

fonzandcancer blogging to encourage.

Right now, I am filled with mixed emotions. Let me explain, 4 years ago I was diagnosed with cancer it took some getting used to just to accept I had it. I was knocked off my feet when I learned I had Hodgkin’s lymphoma. I cried for days, listening to ridiculous comments like “at least it’s treatable” “yea but you will get better” “your strong you will beat this” ” it will be over before you know it” so here we are almost 5 yrs to the day that I started treatment.
During that time I have had ABVD leading up to Christmas 2011, I had it every 2 weeks. I can recall how painful it was, how cold your arm was when it was going in. But I felt weak whilst appearing strong to those around me. My whole self had imploded in on itself. I was low, depressed…

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Day +365

Tags

birthday, business, church, disaster, faith, hope, love, money, plane, success

Today is a really big deal to me, it’s day +365 which means it’s my BMT birthday. I am now 1 year in remission. I can’t tell you how it feels because I am full of joy today that we made it this far. 
In achieving this, I want to thank all of you here, not only for your support to me but to each other. For those of you that are nearer the beginning of your journeys please see this as a huge encouragement to you. 

There are some things I have changed, like I gave up smoking 372 days ago, I eat all my veg now and eat more fruit than I used to and drink lots of water which I did not do before. Be encouraged that with just a few small changes the gift of life can be once more at your door. I am so grateful for the new life I have been given. 

This is me today.

Again I thank you all for being here for each other. You all make such a difference.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

Your past does not define you.

For someone tonight.

fonzandcancer blogging to encourage.

Who you were you cannot change, but what you become is in your hands. You can be what ever you want to be, do what ever you want to do. You can achieve what ever you want to achieve. It’s believingwhat you say is true. You see for you to achieve what you want to achieve it means you first have to believe it’s possible then step out in faith putting one foot in front of the other, and move forward. You see the further you move forwards the dimmer the light of your “what was” will be. Of course I am meaning for my cancer journey, it’s not something I want or need to remember. The more days I live without cancer, the more I believe it’s possible to have a future with out it.

Whilst this blog will be short, it’s just to remind you and…

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Do it anyway.

Tags

belief, cancer, challenge, chemo, down, hope, perseverance, reality

Well there it is, we went to a place today that had a suspended staircase. Quite high up, many that know me know I am scared of heights, or just not keen. It’s a feeling I have when I am not seemingly in control, wires suspending me in mid air just don’t rock my boat in fact I would much prefer a world without any heights what so ever. But hey we don’t live in a world where anything is perfect do we. But what really is it that stops us doing anything, why do we let fear or any other feeling stop us from doing anything at all. After all what we choose to do or not do, won’t we still feel the feeling we feel anyway. 

As I approached those stairs, I was told the risks. That if I suffered from vertigo don’t do it, if you don’t like heights don’t do it. Well my friends wife Said to me. “Just do it anyway” Her words compelled me to do just that, to turn what a thought was impossible into a memory. My thoughts again went to my transplant and how impossible that was, yet I was able through faith, self belief, prayer and doing it anyway. I managed it. So surely a few steps would not stand in my way. Would they?

My thought pattern was if I can do my BMT I can walk up those steps. I put one step in front of the other anyway, I walked up them anyway. It did not change what I felt, I still felt the fear. I still had the same feelings but I did it anyway. It was a victory and although I did not hang around to see the view but I did do it anyway.

It’s a challenge I would like to make to you, that no matter how something makes you feel that you yourself, find it in you to do the same. To look outside of what you think is possible and do it anyway. I think you will suprise yourself. A couple of days later I walked over a rope bridge that I never considered doing in the past due to my fear of heights. Doing something that you think is impossible makes you more of a person, it hones you and moods you into a person that becomes a beacon. Smoothing the rough edges of you making the diamond that you are. Shine brighter. I guess it’s down to that choice again as to what you want out of life. To do it anyway or to change nothing.

What will you do?

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

Misery loves company

Tags

business, cornwall, hope, live, love, misery, Oppertunity

Never thought about that until today, I read a blog this morning about someone’s son who was self harming . They went on to say how when he was feeling down he always wanted to tell someone else to tell them how he was feeling. I started to ponder this morning what had driven me through the cancer journey, that my drive had been to remain positive even when faced with losing my life. I think misery is a thief, I think it’s something infectious that’s not healthy in any way to any party. But how do we get rid of misery, how do we turn misery around. Well here is what I think about it.

It’s our choice to smile, our choice to shine a light in the darkness. Whilst I am not perfect by a long way I do realise that a smile can remove misery in an instant, it’s what we choose to have in our lives. What we allow through the gates so to speak. We can actually change what another chooses but shining light in the darkness smiling when someone is sad. How ever we choose to be there is someone out there that wants to be in to company of you. A smile is infectious, a hug warms a heart, like misery clouds our day so you can choose to be what ever you want to be. Your life is full of choices, full of oppertunity or if you so choose it can be full of things you have to endure.

Each and everyday I have a huge amount of pain, walking is an issue until my pain killers have kicked in. I so want to cry with it most days, but you all know what I choose to do MOST of the time. Smile, be happy to have the opportunities that I do, because I have a life and of course in that life there has to be some positives. But that’s up to me right, that’s my choice to look for something good in a day or wallow in the misery that takes no effort what so ever. Everyday we have been somewhere on this holiday. Some hours are really tough to get through, even so we are making memories and enjoying what we have together. Not allowing misery to have any company, those words still ring true in my head. “You are more than you have become” because you are, I am and we can choose to be more than we have become or allow the circumstances we find ourselves in to dictate our day.

My choice is to do no matter what, no matter what situation I am in. It’s better to do or be something than to just accept what ever the situation is that we find ourselves in. You CAN be what ever you want to be, but that choice is yours.

Fonz

Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.

Another post I think a lot of you will enjoy. It’s not been read much.

fonzandcancer blogging to encourage.

It’s only when we think we can’t carry on that we find the real substance of a person. We have all been there, head in your hands feeling that overwhelming feeling of uselessness. That there, is where life begins. Where the real fighters start to live a life. It’s where you find out what a person is truly made of, as I write I am reminded of a time where I decided (seemingly) that I was going to have no more chemo. It was mid way through my first treatment called ABVD. For those that don’t know, my first treatment lasted 6 months. 12 chemo son in all every 2 weeks. It’s such a shame I never documented anything, no diary no thoughts. Just my memory that fails me, that I have to work with. I remember being at the end of what I could bear. 6 was enough and…

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Sometimes you just need a cry.

Tags

christening, church, funeral, haapy, invictus, memories, remembering, sunday, times

Just now I looked at the calendar, on the 20th of this month will be the day I had my cells given back to me, on looking at the calendar I realised that one year ago today I would have been rigged up to the machine giving my stem cells so I  could even have my transplant. I don’t know why, but it made me cry, like proper cry. It’s so aweful for anyone to go through. My thoughts went to my friends who had done it themselves. Lee, Deanna, Jeanine, Paula, Jim, Chris, I became overwhelmed that people have to even endure this process. But then at the same time I felt a sense of gratefulness that I was indeed one of the ones accepted to have the process done. I don’t know why my brain works how it does,mbut I guess I am just trying to help you understand how others may feel in the process.

Down the road from me is a chapel, that chapel has been standing for nearly a hundred years, it has stained glass, an impressive organ. Solid oak, a gorgeous place. As I looked around at the derelict building I imagined the laughter during the christenings, the smiles at the weddings, the confetee being thrown on the front steps. The sad faces of the mourners on the sad funeral day. The children playing in their Sunday best, the lively things that have happened their and the sad. I pondered the people that had prayed for others health, thoughts passed of all the people that had prayed for another in kindness and with reverent respect.


To me that building stood for something, like my life before transplant. I cared for other people and whilst I was never perfect much like the old church. I needed to be made new again by replacing the very blood that kept me alive. Making new what had become useless so that I may recover and become useful once again. Cancer is horrific, like rust is to a car and rot is to wood. At some point in all our lives we will face something that we can’t see is good for us at the time, maybe it never will be useful again like the church that’s come to the end of its life. But there with that church holds so many many memories to so so many people. So with fondness I think of the church and all the memories it holds. I could not help myself. I needed to take something home with me. A memory of the place that meant so much to so many.

So carefully this morning I along with two Polish workmen removed a pain of stained glass, I will pick up the lintels later so that when I look at that window I can remember the things the church stood for, and think that maybe it’s similar for me. That because I was rebuilt that I can still look through a window, taking me back in time to all that was. But looking forwards to all that will be. Your life is for a reason of that I am certain, your tears are not for nothing. Because you stand for something. Everyday till I leave this house I will remember the good of the chapel on Chapel road, the Methodist church and all it brought to Hesketh bank. RIP and thanks to all the people that made sure it stood for all these years. 

A new one will be built and I will be a part of that future, maybe you will to. But where ever you live, remember your life is of great value. The memories you have to share are worth sharing to. Don’t lock them away, share them with the world so they will last for ever to. Memories are precious.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

Extraordinary.

Tags

amputatee, chemotheropy, desease, extraordinary, faith, games, hope, invictus, love, premier, self

Invictus games, funny how spell check wants to change that to “I victims”  but what does extraordinary mean to you. One of my friends wrote on face book the other day. 

COMMON…..being “common” is a very easy way to “fit it”, listen to common people, doing what common people do, living how common people live, going to common places,driving common cars,living in common houses, having a common bank acount…….I preferr to listen and take advice from EXTRAORDINARY people, so I can live an extraordinary life,go extraordinary places, drive extraordinary cars,live in extraordinary houses, have a extraordinary bank acount…….so the extraordinary becomes my “common”!!

The man that wrote that, had his career cut short. He was at the top of his game and someone I respected greatly and respect greatly to this day. You see it’s not what happens to us that make extraordinary people just that. It’s our response to what happens in our life that makes us who we then become. Many times in my life I have heard or even said. “I can’t because” I hate those three words, I even despise them.  But I have learnt to see those words as as a way to show the world I CAN. That attitude is how things get done. Now please don’t get me wrong, I don’t think I am extraordinary. But I do know how it feels to do an extraordinary thing. To beat cancer twice is extraordinary in anyone’s book. To cheat death is an amazing thing. 

You have to then turn your thoughts to the up and coming invictus games where there are many many people that will be competing in a games invented by an extraordinary Prince Harry. There are many many people on this planet where we can gain encouragement from. Doing something extraordinary starts with one step, it is a choice to become something or achieve something no matter what the world throws at us. 

Anyone that beats the odds are amazing in my book, you don’t need to have an extraordinary bank account to be extraordinary. But you do have to be willing to make the first step forwards. That choice is yours.

Fonz

Not what I want to write.

Tags

belief, commitment, Depressed, faith, hope, love, oppertunities

Today I have to blog, because I said I would. I should be uploading all the photos from the capital one cup, maybe even blogging about the joy of the winning team,  but if I am honest. The pain in my hands and legs consumes me today, I have no strength to be what I want to be today, no ability it seems to be the me that shrugs off so much and turns around so many situations. Today I have to rest, our dog faith can sense I am not myself, maybe it’s normal for the losing teams members to feel a lull when losing a match that we feel should have been ours. 

But I know that it’s not because of the match, it feels like a punishment. A consequence even of having cancer means that the damage the cure has caused. Means that after doing comes pain, tomorrow I will write about accepting who we are.  I feel really hacked off that I find myself with such low abilities, such high pain and such feelings that I feel should not be mine. 

I started writing this some 8 weeks ago, yet I find myself feeling the same again today. Every time I do in a day I am punished the next day. So my reward today even though I may feel so bad, it’s to look at what yesterday’s efforts  achieved. To rejoice that I am still able to coordinate the right people at the right time to at least make things happen for our future. 

I know I wrote about this, have written about this, and will write about this again. Why because it’s all part of healing, all part of the cancer journey that I am on. Although cured dealing with the aftermath. But then you get rewards like this when you push on.

Maybe not entirely because of my hands, but most certainly because of the relationships I maintain.  Even though I may not want to write some of the things I do, I even so concider it a privalage to be able to write ( even what I don’t want to write ) life in itself is a privalage and one I intend to enjoy one I want to see things happen, even if it will give me the pain I may feel the next day. Happiness seems to be my enemy, and whilst my happiness (our happiness) maybe tarnished by pain and my joy maybe quashed somewhat. Still I look for what is positive, still I look to make something hood out of something bad. When we started this project, we had to demolish a perfectly good and pufuntary  building. 

I started relating it to my whole journey again, that the conservatory that was had to be removed for a new one to take its place. That I could accept the small size and do nothing, or I could get rid of what was to replace it with something new. A but like my transplant. That the desease had taken hold of my body and for me to live a longer life, the blood that gave me life needed to be replaced in part so I could continue to live. The process hurt, I looked a mess for a time. Here are some pictures and videos of it all happening.

Sometimes we have to die to ourselves to become made anew, it reminded me of a verse in the bible. John 12 v23 

http://biblehub.com/niv/john/12.htm

Change takes effort removing what was to enable us to become so much more than we thought was possible. Of course we can choose to do nothing as I could but what would be achieved by doing that?  Nothing can be achieved if even when we don’t feel like it we don’t carry on. By moving forward even an inch takes effort, choices we all make everyday. Cancer or illness I believe brings out the best in someone if they choose to find it. Choosing to keep moving forward makes you awesome, it makes you special. It means you know how to accept what you have to do to make things happen. Is that what you will choose, to lose what you are to be rebuilt to become a better you. Trust me you can.

Hope you like the video.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016