The me today.

Tags

business, going, help, home, hope, love, people, unity

Is your today, like my today. 13 months after transplant and I am still feel pain from my treatment yet no one asks how I am. Just the empty question. “How are you”? Gets asked yet they don’t really want to know really you start to tell them and they glaze over. I have learnt this in my journey. To be selective in who you choose to be a friend. I used to be the first to the bar and the last to buy a drink. Now I value my time with people, love, help, comfort, enjoy, but above all respectand consider   who I am with. I don’t expect anything from them, but it’s nice to be loved in what ever way they see fit. 

We are not well in this house at the moment, but one thing is for sure. My wife will always want to be close to me and so will my wife. Cancer has ripped so many people off and I am determined that after fighting for 7 years that cancer will not dominate any more of my life except in a good way.

I want yo encourage people facing chemo, operations, what ever it is in cancer that there is and has been more than that. There is a boy I love called Mitch, I have watched his brave journey and prayed for him. In my mind it’s not about judging what someone was. But hopping who they could be. Mitch won. He had cancer in his head, had brain surgery yet he lives and encourages those in life that need it instead of saying. “What about me” what about you really. Should you not be doing?

For me life is about what we do do, what we don’t do is something that will never be a part of your history just what you could have been.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories.

Copyright © 2016

What you choose makes a differance.

Tags

airport, business, cancer, chemotheropy, everybody, gift, happiness, hope, love, men, morories, turkey, women

It’s so very important to set achievable goals when you face cancer. When your facing chemo or a terminal cancer it’s important to have short term goals that are obtainable. I mean some goals I had were getting to the next second. Smiling because even though I have illness it’s up to me to make some sunshine. 

It’s down to us to make something good when facing something bad. To look for something positive in life even though we think there is nothing to be positive around us. On thing I used to have as a target and still do, is to remember something that made me smile, a time we enjoyed together. I remember how many times I watched our wedding DVD, the happy day that we shared together, the love we shared with our friends. 

Don’t get me wrong some days I would just cry, I would not be able to help crying, I just did. I cryed and cryed and cryed some days. I learnt that days like that were good as my brain was being washed with all the toxins chemo had left me with. I learnt that even those days were good days. Why because I was able to have a better few minutes afterwards. Cancer taught me that life can be taken from us as we know it in an instant. One moment we are doing what we love then the next moment so it seems, a doctor says those dreadful words. “You have cancer” then the old normal has been left behind. 

Only right then can we understand what the importance of laughter friendship and love is. How important it is to recall all the good we had in our lives and how important it is to make happy moments in our lives today. Because as you and I both know, there is no tomorrow. There is only today for us to make a differance, but we also are able to recall the good times we had before cancer came and it’s for sure been a vital part of my life with cancer. There is always something we can do, don’t give up, remember the beauty you have had and have in your life. Me personally I believe in Jesus, I believe in the power of God also. I also believe that we are given strength by his people. That it’s up to us to see the good in someone, and also do good for someone. What ever you may believe in the spiritual world, that’s your choice. But does it matter what another believes. Should we not love our fellow man anyway, find something positive and do anyway.

Don’t get me wrong there is evil in this world that we will never understand, but the only way to make this world a better place is to do something yourself. Choose to do something, remember something good. Give something good to someone, even if that which you give is a memory, or a reminder of a memory. There is always a way to bring sunshine to someone’s life. 
I hope you choose to.
Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com
Follow me on Twitter
@fonzmark
Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com
Our support group on our FB
Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 
It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 
Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own, taken whilst creating memories.
Copyright © 2016

Sunshine and Bees.

Tags

business, cancer, chemotheropy, desease, garage, hope, life, police, scanner, treatment

Do you ever just stop, look and listen to the natural world. Listen to the bees buzzing, watch the birds communicating as they sing their chorus. Appreciate the smell of the flowers in the garden, gaze in wonder at all that has been created. I often look out of our window at the birds feeding at the bird station. My wife always buys thes coconut shells filled with fat that the birds love. But then today I was wondering why I appreciated the small things so much, why I appreciated the smells and the world of nature. How I had become so grateful for my surroundings. Well I guess the answer to that is simple, and obvious.

I know what it’s like to be unable to smell the flowers, to watch the bees. I know what it’s like not to be able to here the birds. It was only 3 weeks where I experienced life unable to hear the birds  the bees and the wind russling between the leaves. To be unable to smell the sweet fragrance of flowers in my garden. I was not even able to feel the sunshine on my face such was the reality of the small room I was cooped up in. But you know what, I am grateful I have had that experience in that room isolated from the world. With my I pad my wife (during the day) and the days on fan that kept me cool at night times. Because I can hear the birds today, I can smell the flowers today, I can hear the birds chatting in the morning.

Life is without doubt a precious gift, one that we never truly appreciate until we are not able to experience life with all of its senses. Is then life not a gift to you to me, to all the creatures that roam the earth. Are we not all fortunate and blessed that we have air to breath and eyes to see. I have found myself not being bothered about what is going on in someone else’s world, found myself becoming a curtious driver. I have found giving gives me a great deal of pleasure, where as before it was what I wanted that as most important. 

Right now there is a valeter disrupting all this tranquility with his loud jet washer. But hey, it seems to make no differance to the birds. They still sing, they are still playing in the trees, and seem happy to be alive. The point is, the birds and the bees don’t care what we do, they just carry on enjoying what they can. Accepting the world they live in for what it is, take a moment to pause today and admire the world that’s all around us. Take a moment to appreciate what you do have rather than what you don’t have. After all, what we have today is a gift. A gift to be enjoyed appreciated and cherished. But will you? Do you? A year ago today I had no option but to continue life with out the enjoying senses that I have been given. One thing I did do though, because I was able to. That was to encourage my fellow man to keep on keeping on, what ever that path maybe. Blogging 365 times in as many days. 

I hope you find time to enjoy what is all around you today, enjoy what you do have.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

Day +365

Tags

birthday, business, church, disaster, faith, hope, love, money, plane, success

Today is a really big deal to me, it’s day +365 which means it’s my BMT birthday. I am now 1 year in remission. I can’t tell you how it feels because I am full of joy today that we made it this far. 
In achieving this, I want to thank all of you here, not only for your support to me but to each other. For those of you that are nearer the beginning of your journeys please see this as a huge encouragement to you. 

There are some things I have changed, like I gave up smoking 372 days ago, I eat all my veg now and eat more fruit than I used to and drink lots of water which I did not do before. Be encouraged that with just a few small changes the gift of life can be once more at your door. I am so grateful for the new life I have been given. 

This is me today.

Again I thank you all for being here for each other. You all make such a difference.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

Misery loves company

Tags

business, cornwall, hope, live, love, misery, Oppertunity

Never thought about that until today, I read a blog this morning about someone’s son who was self harming . They went on to say how when he was feeling down he always wanted to tell someone else to tell them how he was feeling. I started to ponder this morning what had driven me through the cancer journey, that my drive had been to remain positive even when faced with losing my life. I think misery is a thief, I think it’s something infectious that’s not healthy in any way to any party. But how do we get rid of misery, how do we turn misery around. Well here is what I think about it.

It’s our choice to smile, our choice to shine a light in the darkness. Whilst I am not perfect by a long way I do realise that a smile can remove misery in an instant, it’s what we choose to have in our lives. What we allow through the gates so to speak. We can actually change what another chooses but shining light in the darkness smiling when someone is sad. How ever we choose to be there is someone out there that wants to be in to company of you. A smile is infectious, a hug warms a heart, like misery clouds our day so you can choose to be what ever you want to be. Your life is full of choices, full of oppertunity or if you so choose it can be full of things you have to endure.

Each and everyday I have a huge amount of pain, walking is an issue until my pain killers have kicked in. I so want to cry with it most days, but you all know what I choose to do MOST of the time. Smile, be happy to have the opportunities that I do, because I have a life and of course in that life there has to be some positives. But that’s up to me right, that’s my choice to look for something good in a day or wallow in the misery that takes no effort what so ever. Everyday we have been somewhere on this holiday. Some hours are really tough to get through, even so we are making memories and enjoying what we have together. Not allowing misery to have any company, those words still ring true in my head. “You are more than you have become” because you are, I am and we can choose to be more than we have become or allow the circumstances we find ourselves in to dictate our day.

My choice is to do no matter what, no matter what situation I am in. It’s better to do or be something than to just accept what ever the situation is that we find ourselves in. You CAN be what ever you want to be, but that choice is yours.

Fonz

The lump taking up space.

Tags

business, cancer, chemotheropy, faith, hope, love, lump, suffering, treatment

Yep that’s how it feels, you find a lump that’s cancer the you feel like the lump carrying the lump that’s taking up space. Hardly anyone will read this but this is how us cancer patients feel. We feel like we are worthless, we feel like a failure even because cancer chose us. I mean what did we do to deserve it, are we being punished for something we did? Some of the things that go through our minds are not even writable. Isn’t life hard enough with out this crap they call cancer. The lump they call cancer that lives in our bodies they we render useless because of cancer. How pathetic we feel because cancer chose us, how much despair we feel because cancer came. We look out at the rain dripping down our window pains and wonder if the sun will ever shine again, we cogitate the things we never did that we should have and feel regret. We feel feelings that someone who has never had cancer will hopefully never feel.

I remember exspecting the world to stop just so I could get my head around what was happening for a moment. But wait, was cancer such a bad thing for me looking back. When I look back now at how I dealt with the feelings, that’s what got me through, my attitude to what I as a cancer sufferer mattered the most. It made a huge differance to the desease that was in my body.

I started to look at the world differently and see positives in everything around me. Feeling pleasure to be able to feel the wind on my face, feelings of despair were replaced by thoughts of hope because that’s what I chose to do. I chose to look for the good in everything I saw, I started to see cancer as an oppertunity, not a disability. We only know how hard that is for a person to do, to appreciate our surroundings. To appreciate the medical staff, the people that researched cancer to find a way to make us well again. Quickly skipping over the companies that make billions out of cancer we have to be thankful for our lives. Of course I am not grateful to have had cancer, but what I am is grateful that I have learnt what I have because of cancer. If it was not for cancer maybe I would not be able to see the good all around me as well as what I can now. Maybe because of our attitude to it, that’s what helps cancer become a blessing. That our eyes are opened to what others cannot see. These days I see an appointment to the hospital as an oppertunity to bless someone, even if that is just making them a coffee at the machine, or tea if they prefer. 


My attitude to the lump I found first time was to hide, from everyone and everything. My attitude the second time I got cancer was to affect the world. Maybe I have achieved that to a small degree, but I have achieved that, and that is because of cancer.

Have a great weekend

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

Have courage and be kind.

Tags

business, cancer, chemo, courage, dentistry, faith, hope, kindness, love

It’s, a precious gift kindness. I don’t know why  it makes us feel vulnerable. I guess that’s because we expect something in return, hope that the person we are being kind to will be as kind to us. It was a long time ago when I gave someone a gift, I was so wrong to even expect a thank you. Because real kindness does not give to receive. Real kindness just gives and your gift in teturn is the pleasure of giving. It takes years that we live to learn the value of the courage of kindness. These days I give with a non expectant heart, I find it gives me freedom in my soul and my spirit. 


I guess without getting the dictionary out that courage means facing something you have to face, and bravery is facing something or someone that you have a choice to face. Courage is to keep doing anyway, I see courage in parents everyday. Of course I have only a glimpse of what being a parent actually is. My only true exsperience that comes close is picking up my nephew from school in the little TVR, I waited outside and watched all the dolled up well kept parents arriving to collect what I now understand to an exstent. To be their most special gift on the earth, their children. I was given an insight into the courage of kindness. 

You see I now realise that as a parent everyday you need to have the courage of kindness, a relentless giving heart to your child expecting nothing in return. Everyday you have courage in your constant journey of dedication to the little people you bring into the world. I know if I was a parent and my son was my nephew, I would not feel anything but pride and thanks for the gift I would have in him. Picking him up, made me realise how truly precious children are, it made me understand a snippet of the courage of kindness. 

Giving without expectation does indeed need courage, though some kindness is instinctive. The reward you get for it is what you feel inside. How giving makes us feel with in that no other gift can give. How wrong I was to give that gift exspecting something in return. It robbed me of the feeling I should have had. The gift giving gives to our inner self, but maybe I would not have learnt the differance in giving to receive, compared to the courage of kindness. The courage of kindness does without doubt give to our spirit a revival. A renewing of our inner self because of what we gave. Giving does not need to be an item or exsperience. It can be words of encouragement to another that Spurs them on, when you see a difference being made in someone’s life because you did. That’s priceless and something that money can not buy. 

Here is my question to you this week. Will YOU have the courage of kindness this week. Will you give and expect nothing in return? Well if your a parent I think you already do that everyday, you do it instinctively. You have a responsibility that transforms this world. Imagine what the world would be like if we all adopted the courage of kindness for someone everyday. Have a great week.

Fonz  

50 shades of grey? Only one shade of love…

Tags

business, Good, google, hope, life, love, loving, of grey, passion

When I was dating, I found 50 shades of grey. I found more than that, I found so many shades. But why do people think that sex is a shade and maybe even the main shade. Let me suggest to you that, what you think sex is. Is actually only a part of a shade of a possible shade of life. You see love only has one shade, it has one meaning. The world would have us believe that there is so many more ways to love using our sexual being. Yet it’s only skin deep. Here is a thought that’s as deep maybe deeper than you have thought.

If there are 50 shades of grey and it’s made up of black and white, is grey a colour. Because black and white are not colours so where did grey come from? Let’s assume me and you are doing our best to find out what love is. That maybe a walk on the beach, a kiss, or a cuddle is what we deem as love. 

  
For me, when I got married I did not take one aspect of life and love that as my life. I did not perceive life as being glued by one in particular thing that I liked. My love for my wife and hers for me is about 2 letters US. It’s about us, it’s about freedom for us both, allowing or rather wanting each other to have and be the best we can be on all levels. It’s not about being a great lover, a great cook, a great person. It’s about one thing. Balance. Balance in OUR lives that we live TOGETHER. Marriage is about together. And loving being together and working at being together knowing that we are both pulling together in the same direction. Stop being hung up on one singular aspect of a relationship. 
There is only one shade of love. Guess what, that one aspect,  is called love. That right there is how you use something that is supposed to make life distructive, constructive. You can be what ever you want to be if only you understand that life together has only one shade and that’s called loving each other. Just love who you are with today, give what you have, don’t hide what you could have given. That is not selfless. A relationship is about being together and working together. When you do that, things happen. The things that do happen matter to.

Just saying.

Fonz

Can’t the world make each other happy.

Tags

belief, business, chemotheropy, faith, friendships, happiness, hope, love, mind, together

So much happens in this world I don’t understand, I don’t know about you. I do know one thing though, that is all I want in writing is to love and be loved. My first ever post I was a scared little boy in the blogging world. I knew not what to expect from that world. But the world I was most scared of was the cancer one. Saying the word cancer has a scary familierlarity that scares me now. I don’t want to be familiar with cancer, I don’t even want it to have a place in my life. But that said, I have fear in my heart for other people that may set off on the very journey I did. This journey has become about others not myself. Not my progress but the building of belief in others that they can. 

  
It reminds me of a story written by someone else, but here is my interpretation. Two people ( they can be male or female) ) they are in hospital. One is not able to sit up and see out of the Window, the other is able. Everyday the one that is able is asked by the one that is not. “What do you see outside” each day the story is of sunshine, success and children playing together happily. Day after day the stories were the same. Sunshine, happiness and peace. Until one day when the one that was not able to sit up to see out the window sat up. To find he could only see a wall, there was no playground, no sunshine and no laughing children. Yet everyday in the mind of the healing person they saw happiness, saw smiles and felt happiness through the stories the other person shared with them.

The stories were giving hope, love and happiness to a body that needed to heal. We all have the chance each day to say something nice. I remember on Monday yesterday even laughing with my family, even heartily did we laugh even though the pain I felt was immense. Right there at that moment, or moments. With my wife, mum, dad, nephew, and sister in law. Who I would love to be my actual sister laughed heartily and loved completely. Is that not what the person that could see out of the window did. In doing so gave hope and helped another’s recovery. 

We are a circle connected, if you help another in that circle you belong. You help. You have giving hope to another. Is that not an amazing thing to do, should not we all do this for someone everyday.?

This last 5 days have been tough, but there have been times of laughter and I have remembered good times. My advice. Hold onto the good times, and make as many times good as you can. Those moments only come once then they are gone forever.

Fonz

P s thank you for all you do and are going to do for another.

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

My own blog spoke to me.

Tags

business, faith, friendship, help, hope, love, self belief, suffering

So here I was today, emptying the conservatory with my wife, finding new homes for some things and throwing other things. We had a chat to a guy who was doing a job for us and just generally having a tidy up. I was moving forwards by standing and doing. I have not written for 3 days, due to the excessive pain through doing a bit on skater day in the rain. Yesterday my friend Rob blogged for me reliving me of my post duty. What a special gift it is to have friends, even ones you have never met, these include people from all over the world. From England to Australia. One of my friends reminded me that I can. By saying the words. Mark, you can, you really can. That was my friend in Australia Amanda, she made me read my own blog. 

  
On reading it again, and being appalled at the spelling, I realised that what I had written actually encouraged me to. It made me think that maybe it’s actually an amazing gift that I had been given. Not only to have so many friends all over the world, but the ability to express myself. Maybe that’s a gift in itself. I realised that we all have our own way of expression and I have after 47 years found the one way of expression that mattered. A way that gave something to me aswell as everyone else that reads what I write. 

As I read ” you can, really you can” it spoke to me. It lifted me and motivated me, it made me realise that maybe I need to read what I write myself. Sound strange right. Well often I never re read what I have written. I just lost it 99 times out of a 100. Only you get to read it not me, but I have realised that I need to hear what I write as much as the next person. Thank you for yesterday’s blog Rob you made a grown man cry.

Yea of course life’s tougher with pain in it, but true friends show their true colours when things are tough. Maybe you are like me realising right now that what you do is of value to yourself aswell as other people. I am starting to feel reenergised because of the people around me that encourage me to carry on. What ever you do is of importance to somebody. Keep doing that, it’s when we don’t do that our lives become devalued. You have the ability to help someone everyday. What could be more special than that?

Thank you for being you.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

What you have to say.

Tags

business, chemotheropy, encouragement, faith, help, hope, industry, love, message

You may never ever have the effect on the world, if you don’t actually say to someone what you think you have to say. What you have to say, could change the whole direction of someone’s life for the better. Yet you don’t say what you have to say, and there may be no effect, or maybe the effect of you not saying something neglected to encourage someone that needed to hear what you have to say. See that’s what I have struggled with in recent days, that my blog is not effective, encouraging, or maybe even futile. Yes I thought those thoughts.
Why did I even think such absolute rubbish, why did I rob someone of a post that should have been written but never was. We will never know what those posts were, what they would have said or how the may have affected people. But one thing I do know is, I personally have to be of the right mind to write. You know that I speak with truth and integrity and from my very own experience. I was talking to my dad, (who possibly is my worst critic) and he encouraged me to continue. That it was worth while doing what I am doing. Writing here to you. I am not able to tell you how many times I wanted to give up, how many times I heard small voices saying things like ” no one wants to hear what you write ” ” no one even understands your words ” such lies. Such de motive lies. Such useless unviable and needless ethics. Just not what is really happening. 

   
I write, so one person a day may feel encouragement, and I believe that happens everyday. I believe a power greater than I puts my posts in front of someone that needs it everyday. So again I say. ” I will carry on ” I WILL! Deter me, do your best to de energise me. Then I will rise up stronger again, because what I believe I should do I will do. Only now have I realised it should have been pool night tonight. But no one text. Maybe it’s I that should make it happen. Maybe it’s you that should say what you have to say. 

After all, there is only you on this planet that is able to say what you have to say. How powerful is that. Only you…..

Have a great week 

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

Fatigue

Tags

belief, business, cancer, cheomotheropy, depression, fatigue, feeling low, hope, love, tiredness

If your fortunate to have not had a life threatening illness or an arduous fight to stay alive. Having the very make up of your cells reformed then the word fatigue you will think is just tiredness . You will also think that a sleep will cure it. When I was a recovery driver I experienced what most parents would experience in terms of how really tired feels. Falling asleep after 26 hours work to be woken up after 10 mins to have to go to a broken down car that needs to be recovered 200 miles. I really do know what tiredness feels like. Fatigue however is very very different.

  
When your treatment finishes , people think it’s over for the person who was fighting. That they are all of a sudden when you here the words ‘remission’ or ‘cured’ that all of a sudden the side effects disappear and the fatigue disappears and we are all of a sudden well and fighting fit. Some people do not even realise what true tiredness really is. See fatigue is like a restriction, it’s like walking in mud, or treacle. Not that I have ever walked in treacle but I know how the spoon responds to it. Mud slows us right down and makes progress more of an effort.

Fatigue, makes everything a huge effort, it takes joy from your life even makes you feel low and down trodden which I always choose to be above. I choose everyday to do as apposed to wallowing in self pity because I have not the strength to get through a day. Fatigue is a really heavy rucksack full of lead on your back, it makes you want to cry. It makes you respond irrationally even. I have been careful to not respond with a knee jerk reaction, but to be considered in how I respond and not quickly. It’s difficult to get someone to understand how you feel, frustrating even that people think that there is nothing wrong with you.

  
How I turn things around in my mind is to listen to my surroundings, and thank God that I am at least alive. Even though the pain is so great that walking is a problem sometimes. Generally late at night or early in the morning is when it’s worst. I want people to understand what fatigue is, what true loss of energy is. Even typing sometimes is an effort, like your arms are in mud it’s that hard to move them sometimes. 

  
When I was in hospital I said to Andie, I hope what’s left of me is enough for you, I hope the drugs don’t take to much of me. I also said to my dad and my wife (Andie) ” It must NOT take my spirit ” what ever happened I had to hold on to my spirit because if I kept that I knew that I would always be able to be positive. That’s how I do it, my spirit is alive and strong and because of that I am able. It’s like my energy that I find in my spirit, your spirit that’s within us all is fed by things like, gratitude, thankfulness, helping others, positive thinking, and positive speech. Saying positive things when we don’t want to keeps your spirit full. That was what I clung onto for dear life, the spirit of who I am. Fatigue can do what it likes, but it will never take my spirit, people die when they lose their will to survive. That comes from the spirit within you, the power that comes from deep within us. We all have it because we are made in the image of God, it like a flame within us that we have to keep burning, some call it our inner strength. Say I can, and I will. Things happen then, but even so it’s far harder with fatigue holding you back, the foggy swamp is like a demon holding you back. 

That is what fatigue is like, I hope this helps some of you to understand it better. And reassures some of you who suffer it.

Fonz

Follow me, I will follow back. 😊
http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

There is no old you.

Tags

attitude, becoming, business, Cancerstories, failure, faith, hope, love, you, yourself

There are some things that will never be, like you will never be the person you were yesterday. The you that you are today really is the only you that there is, so many people look at what they were and want to be that person again. Hey I did the same myself, thought that I would get Mark back become the old me. Funny though isn’t it, I am 47 now and I will never be 47 again, I will never be the me that was me today tomorrow, all I can be is the best I can be today. The way I do that is by loving, caring, and giving what I can to as many people as I can everyday. Now when I was 37 I was certainly more physically able, I need to stop thinking that whilst I could that I still can. Because I am a different me now. One that had cancer.

   
It’s all very well me saying CAN all the time, maybe there is a new can though. A CAN that’s still useful but not the same as what I used to be at 37, when cancer was just something someone else gets, not me. A word that I had no knowledge of, chemotherapy was something I had no  picture to put in my thought box of. I had no clues back then, I was indestructible and going to live forever. Die, me… Never.. Maybe you have been there?

Now life is different, because rather than expecting a day and taking it for granted. I am grateful for a day, and appreciate the small things in life! Like birds singing, fresh air. NOT having to goto hospital till August this year. That’s part of the 47 yr old Me. I have stopped expecting to be the fit 37 yr old me, because that was then and this is now. I am now on a day to day plan. Enjoying the day set out before me to the best I can, doing the best I can, for as many people I can. I am not unhappy to be that, I am really pleased to have some life to live that I might give to someone today.

  

Your attitude to life and people is what counts, not what you were or what you hoped you would be, that’s not possible because of illness. That just leads to an unhappy life, striving for something that’s impossible. Happiness is knowing you are the best you can be, with the available you that you are today. By having a grateful heart, and attitude to life. Breeds happiness and ultimately, contentment. Rather than self endured stress, trying to be the old you.

Accept a new and better you is you tomorrow, that the past is just that. Take an X, why are they an X. Because they made your then now not the best now there can be. Enjoy your new now today.

– Fonz

 Follow me, I will follow back. 😊
http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

The songs, that helped me beat cancer.

Tags

business, encouragement, energy, enjoyment, healing, health, hope, love

This is one,

One love by David Guetta and Estelle.

Also this one was a great comfort

But the David Guetta song was prevalent in my fight. It was a song where I imagined all those people that cared, both online and in reality. I could imagine them there with me urging me on, encouraging me in voice and spirit. While I sat having chemo I would go through the list of cancer stories members, I would imagine them there each and everyone. Each friend there with me and Andie my family. Supporting me and encouraging me on, the songs gave me strength.

The other song that helped me was,

If you know what it’s like to fight an illness, then you will understand the lyrics in these songs. But even if you are not fighting for your life I am sure you understand why these songs meant something to me even us. I would play one love over and over in the car. I am sure that if these songs did not exsist then I would have found something else. What are yours? Do you have any songs that have spurred you on and given you energy. It would be nice if you could share your uplifting music with us in this Monday morning. Songs can give us strength at moments in our lives. I can’t wait to view yours.

I look forward to an encouraging morning, for me and for yourself as we start the week with positivity…

– Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

Black or white.

Tags

acceptance, black, business, cancer, creed, hope, labels, love, Peace, princeea, white

How are you today, I was drawn attention to this video this morning. It’s something that’s been on my mind for a while but had no idea how to approach it. Yet I should have, because no one taught cancer to know what your race is. I love the car idea. That we are all given a car/body. We did not choose it, we just find ourselves in it… It’s not a choice is it to be black or white. Although it seems black people want to be white, and white people want to be black. That is why you see whit people sunbathing. 

When I was in the cancer day unit you saw people walk in there from all walks of life, different people different ages from all corners of the earth. Kenny Dalglishs wife was treated in my ward. They like me chose the NHS for treatment because they have the best doctors. I have no idea why cancer chose me, maybe you are a fortunate one and cancer never chose you.  I really hope if that is the case that it never does. But cancer does not define us, we are who we are on the inside. Many people have battle scars from cancer, scars on their face, body but is that scar who they are. NO. 

  
We are still the same person inside arnt we, as prince Ea says, we are taught to be black or white, Asian or Mexican. As he also says when we are babies we did not care what colour another babies skin is or was. We were taught to give someone a label to someone by society weren’t we. We all were without exception, we were taught to put a tick that says black white or Asian next to it. 

Well I want my innocence back, I don’t want to judge you by your scars, your colour or creed. I just want to accept you because of who you are inside. I want to care about  the inner you, the you that really matters, I want to unlearn what those boxes mean and start to accept. In sales we are taught not to prejudge people on appearances, it’s the same thing on earth. We are all people, I mean what right do I have to do anything but love my Nieghbour. The bible even speaks about it, saying We (humans) are one body. It does not matter what colour your skin is, we should just love and respect each other without the labels. Would we not live a happier life, would we not enjoy life more if ALL the barriers were removed. The labels removed and there was just one box that said Human. Because that’s what we all are isn’t it. Human. Who care what colour our skin is right? 

If you see the scar, try and remember the person has not changed. It’s just some of the skin they are wrapped up in is gone, so they can live again. It’s not how we look, it’s who we are that matters.

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

Giving to others, helps us to grow.

Tags

business, encouragement, faith, growing, hope, love, loving

This world seems to be full of sentences like, how much? Everything seems to have a price. I guess even life has a price, it’s just what I have had to give cost nothing, yet was everything of me that was required to regain my life. Every tiny bit of my strength was required to live. So what was the point in me surviving and living a life if I am not able to use it to help others to gain their strength also. My life from now on has to be dedicated to others, encouraging others that they may not only grow, but find it within themselves the ability that was always there, to be able to overcome what they face. Maybe even what you face.

I used to go into the hospital and have my treatment and leave when I fought cancer the first time. I was deceived in that by giving to other people was going to take away the very strength I needed to fight my fight. Yet when I went in for my transplant I started to reach out to other suffers to encourage them, maybe even inspire them to continue the fight they faced. I never wanted anything in return, but what I found is that, everyday somebody encouraged me as a result of me reaching out and putting myself out there so to speak. As a friend said to me today “you don’t know what’s inside something, unless you look” 

  
So yesterday, although I had had a clear scan and blood tests. I was concerned that I would not get a negative blood result as my blood had not been tested for 15 weeks. I can’t tell you how pleased I was, because I will not have to have a test again now till August next year, effectively. I now have my life back… It’s amazing to be able to say. Whilst I was waiting for them to take my blood yesterday, I asked the staff nurse if I could take drinks to people that were being treated. They let me, so I ended up in the privalaged position to be able to have conversations with other people that were having various treatments for all sorts of problems. Many people were sat in the very seats where I used to sit having the horrendous drugs put into my body.

I felt emotional doing it, because at that time I did not know if I would be back in those seats myself until my blood results came later that day. Doing those things I believe helped me to grow and energised me, it lifted my spirits that I was able to do. Because I had been sat in those seats and had my treatments I was able to grow.
Your gift to help another will come back to you in some way I am sure of it. Give what you can if you are able. Nothing you do for others is wasted, somewhere  you will find your blessing because you gave with a free spirit. I find it amazing that I can think about giving everyday and not have to worry about the bump in the road that was cancer. I can now move 

  

forwards by faith believing it will not return. Also giving words of life and encouragement to those I meet along the way. I had hoped for 200 followers by the end of 2016 I got my 500 award today. So there must be something good happening out there. 

When you give, it’s not of yourself. Giving gives you strength in your own life, to carry on.

Have a great weekend

– Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016

I BEAT CANCER!!!!

Tags

beaten, business, cancer, define, fight, Hodgkins, lymphoma

   If your reading I guess it’s because you are happy to hear someone has slam dunked cancer. Well let’s just say I am daring to believe that this is done, it’s not been a breeze. Certainly not a walk in the park or shopping trolley dent done in the supermarket car park. Oh no this was a full on bare knuckled fight to the end, there were not really many moments that were restful, although we did make time for each other on many occasions.

  
There were many times when I thought I could not carry on, many times I held out my arms and just said “help me”  many times I thought I had dug so deep I had nothing more yo give, then found that I was indeed able to dig a little deeper. Many times I felt that I would not be able to do another day. Yet I never missed one appointment, one procedure, one blood test, operation or hospital stay. I feel as though I have done the impossible, faith family and friends has given me the strength to carry on. Given me hope in the storm, and a calming breeze in the midst of a hot day. The Wars won, I am welling up just saying those words. Three words just like at the beginning. When I was told “you have cancer” yet the feelings are so very far apart from each other. “The Wars Won” WOW… I am overwhelmed right now. Celebrate with me. I will continue to blog every day as before. But this has to be one of the best blogs on the planet.

    
The story of a man who was close to death, to becoming victorious over, this terrible desease. I just hope above all hope that other south there get some strength and comfort knowing, my war is won. For the rest of my days I will hold out my hand to help mankind. Be encouraged dear friends.

Your cancer free friend

Fonz

http://www.fonzandcancer.com

Follow me on Twitter

@fonzmark

Email – fonzicloud@icloud.com

Our support group on our FB

Cancer stories (people helping people through experience) 

It’s a group where people’s experiences are used to encourage others. 

Everything you read are based on my own experience and my own opinions. I express them here to encourage you. Please share with others, if it meant something to you it will to someone else. All images are from a Google search. Or my own.

Copyright © 2016